#bc old snow is literally satan

[ninemelodies]

i think planet of the oods has some of my favorite ten & donna interactions like. it starts out with donna being SO excited and a little nervous about being on an alien planet for the first time and ten sharing that no, that feeling never really goes away, not even for him, and that’s what he keeps traveling.

and then they get outside and it’s freezing and the doctor is still rambling bc he’s so excited that donna is so excited. and he turns around and she’s gone back inside to get a coat. she makes fun of the TARDIS, again. and oh, theh bicker back and forth about her coat for a little bit but they’re having fun and laughing as they trek across the snow.

until. they find an ood dying. now the doctor knows who these creatures are, but donna has no idea. the only alien she’s met has been the doctor (and the racnoss) and the doctor looks human, acts mostly human, but this. this is something completely different. and she reacts that way, falling back on old human prejudices. she calls the ood an it and comments on how different it is.

and the doctor just. redirects her, with “donna, not now,” and “he’s an ood, and he’s a he, not an it.”and donna learns. and the doctor asks her to comfort delta-50 and she does! no questions asked. she tells him her name and about the doctor and that the doctor is here to help, and she shows no fear in approaching this ood that just SNARLED at her, just so she can close his eyes so he can rest peacefully.

and then. she turns around and tells the doctor he’s full of shit for saying that the last thing controlling the ood was literally satan. and the doctor doesn’t correct her. (not think i think it would’ve mattered if he HAD) and then the doctor let’s her ramble when he’s showing off the physic paper. sure, he’s giving her a look that screams “shut up, you’re making it worse. please stop.” but donna already told him once he wouldn’t be telling her to be quiet.

and then they get assigned married by the marketing lady.

and then that whole marketing meeting with the doctor looking vaguely unimpressed and donna just listening and then. donna being SO mind-blown about being in 4126 and about the fact that humans have survived so long and spread so far. and she asks, “we’re everywhere. is that a good thing, or a bad thing?” and the doctor tells the truth, “sometimes, i wonder.” and then they see how many ood distribution centers there are and donna’s next question is “don’t the ood get a say in this?” and donna asks! she talks to the ood, she knows there’s no way they were born like this and she wants to know how they feel about it.

but then they have that conversation in the container. the doctor reminds donna that all-in-all, this isn’t so different from her time, to which donna vehemently disagrees. “who do you think made your clothes,” the doctor shoots back. and donna has to know he’s right, at least a little bit, but she gets onto him for it.

“is that why you keep humans around?” she asks, “not so you can show them the wonders of the universe, but so you can take cheap shots?” and the doctor apologizes, and donna tells him don’t because she knows he’s right, but he won’t talk to her like that, and then she calls him spaceman, because she’s not angry with him like that.

and then in the warehouse, she gets locked in that shipping container with all those ood and she’s so frightened. and the doctor knows that she’s okay as soon as he hears her yelling, and he drags his feet to get the guards to stop and open the container. he tells them that they better let her out of they’ll be on the receiving end of donna’s ire.

but as soon as she gets out and confirms that she’s safe and the doctor’s safe, her next question is about the ood. “never mind me,” she says. “what about them?”

then with the solana, donna wants so much to believe that the people of earth wouldn’t stand for this if they knew how the ood were being treated, but the solana says the same thing as the doctor. “i didn’t ask.” “they don’t ask.” and it’s all the same thing and donna knows it even though she hates it.

and then the doctor gives solana the chance to help. to be the person who asks and to stand up and make a change and she doesn’t. and the doctor and donna are so disappointed, but they have work to do.

through this the doctor can hear the ood song, even if he’s not paying attention. and it’s got to be so sad and awful to deal with, yet he does it alone. and when the doctor asks, donna agrees to hear it, and he warns her how sad it is. and she listens anyway, and it overwhelms her, and she asks him to take it away and he does and she apologizes for not being strong enough, for not standing with him, because she knows and says as much that he can hear it all the time.

then they learn what the company is doing and they’re both so angry, so upset. donna understands what it means that the company is cutting off the ood hindbrain, and she realizes that the universe and time and space isn’t as grand as she made it out to be. it’s just as terrible as she told him it was originally. and she says she wants to go home, and the doctor looks so upset.

and then they get captured together. locked to a pole at the mercy of the company. and donna is the one who realizes that the ood weren’t born to serve, they weren’t going willingly without protest, it was that the ood were docile creatures. they HAD to be because they are born with their brain in their hand.

even as they’re trying to escape they’re bickering. because donna is scared and sometimes that what she does when she’s scared. but the doctor takes it in stride. they find the main ood brain, and together, the doctor and donna confirm what is happening and what needs to happen.

and when mr. halpen has a gun and is pointing it at them, the doctor makes sure to pull donna behind him, out of the way.

this post got so long but i care them SO MUCH they way they show affection through bickering and the way they bounce off each other like that and the way donna is so much smarter and brilliant and kind and compassionate than she believes herself to be, even when she hides it under her crass facade.

[the-strawzish-clownfish]

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

no

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

[sidgenoheatwave-blog]

Heat Wave Prompts 2019

Heat Wave 2018 Prompts

Note: You can use prompts from this or previous years, or choose not to use one at all! Prompts are meant as inspiration only.

Caught in the rain

Victory sex

Double cream pie

Oral fixation

“Secret” relationship

No tan lines

Secretly a virgin

Touch-starved Sid

Consolation

Private island

Humiliation kink

Popsicles

Tool belt

Rope bondage

Exhibitionists

Love at first sight

Soulbond sex

Dream thieves

Mermaids and weird genitalia

Sex rituals at center ice

Dracula’s castle

Just fucking machines, being overwhelmed and a good dose of overstimulation

Accidental pregnancy/didn't realize he could get pregnant

Sid decides to take a year off to have a baby, and wants Geno to be the father

Werewolves and scent kink

Werewolf au. Every team has an alpha. The Pens have two.

The Road to El Dorado

Met at friends’ wedding

A forward forward and an amenable photographer for ESPN’s The Body Issue

Porn Stars au: Sid is really good at playing the fake virgin

Nipple play! Geno loving on Sid’s nips

Sid has extremely sensitive nipples and can come just from having them played with

Voyeur and exhibitionist neighbors

Rival sex, Geno is a Flyer and Sid is a Penguin. Enemies to lovers, with secret romance and angst

First time blowjobs - sloppy, messy, and explorative

Sid is being bullied by a new coach or new player on the team. He tries to hide it because he's ashamed. Geno finds out and saves the day.

Sweat kink, cause you know Sid likes to marinate after games

Sid's been cursed and Geno has to fuck it out of him

They warned me Satan would be attractive

Testing out the pool/hot-tub Sid has just built

"I want to undress you, vulgarize you a bit." - Henry Miller

Sid’s not often into sex, but man is he into Geno.

Emperor and his most favored consort

Favorite couple on a porn site

Animal traits: penguins court by giving each other small rocks

Sid's a tentacle monster, and Geno is very into it

Double penetration: can be with toys, with fingers, or with straight up dick

Mpreg, Sid wants a baby SO badly

Dressing room hook up at a department store

Detective and homme fatale

Secret agent AU, Sid is the honeypot trap for Geno

Pulled over by “Officer Geno”

Someone's got a shapeshifting dick.

Accidental soulbonding, they have to fuck to settle the bond

Geno has a magic dick

Naked except for the jewelry.

Geno’s frat boy look

Feelings happen to demisexual!Sid after knowing Geno for years and years

A bet on how far they can get during roadies in team outings without getting caught

The boys make a bet on who can fuck the longest without coming and try to get the other to lose 😌

One of them is cursed and the only thing that will break it is getting pregnant

Overstimulation with lots of sex tears and sensitivity

Some no holds bar, compleatly unrealistic, exhibition fucking. Everybody sees and they LIKE IT

Phone sex with needy sid

Zach and Miri Make a Porno au

Team soulbonds are normal and triggered through sex

Sex magic to break a scoring slump

Dom/sub relationship that turns serious and loving later

Friends with benefits

AU, sex worker!Sid, Geno is the cop who has to keep arresting / rescuing him

Pilot/frequent flyer

Knotting in Geno’s heat nest

Sid claim biting Geno during heat. The scar is messy. Multiple bites.

Scent marking without realising it, and scent marking on purpose

They're both alphas and one REALLY likes to get knotted

Alpha Sid mounts omega Geno in the lockerroom and it’s MESSY

Alphas aren't supposed to be able to bond to each other, but they bond anyway (accidentally or on purpose)

Geno hooks up with Sid between relationships. Sid doesn’t mind. neither does Geno, until suddenly he does.

Wolfbrother au (A Companion to Wolves - Elizabeth Bear & Sarah Monette) where Evgeni and his wolfsister go into heat.

Werewolves taking a mate and wanting to fuck in the snow after running all night under the moon

Genderswap Geno shaving Sid’s legs, his hands on her thighs and Sid watching him bite his lip in concentration.

Rule 63, for both. College or pro teammates, a lot of competitive bets for sex/use of toys

Mermaid!Sid with gold under his nails, under his scales, and Evgeni who is forced to hunt him.

Sid’s sex superstitions. They are crazy and hot but should not be encouraged. Too bad Geno doesn’t care. He just wants to win games!

Sid has to give Geno a creampie before every home game: it's a superstition

Sid is a swan turned human, and he could easily break bones as he could accept Geno as a mate.

Geno gets cloned (accidental magic?). Obviously they both want to fuck Sid and neither of them is going to give way to the other.

Private plane banging, in those tight, white dress shirts from the video

On the plane - Geno wears one of those vibrating plugs that Sid controls on his phone - does he come in his pants? Or can he hold out till Sid fucks him.

Sid finally manages "Russia with Geno", but since Moscow is having a literal heat wave right now, he's not coping too well and around the apartment he's wearing as little as possible, all damp and dewy and curls. Geno's losing his mind over it.

Assassin!/escort! au. They both think the other works in the same field as them. They both keep hooking up after blowing/blowing up clients.

Geno is secretary or assistant to a friendly, wealthy, but suspiciously evasive businessman!Sid. They have an awkward friendship (note: Sid must secretly be a thief but he doesn’t tell Geno at first because he wants to protect him) (second note: Sid must also be in love with Geno) (third note: after a few months of this Geno become a thief too)

Young, hot Pope (either Sid or Geno) and his devoted cardinal, fucking on holy ground/under the Sistine Chapel ceiling. maybe now, maybe set in the past, maybe the Renaissance.

Soul bond dream sex. Knowing theres a mate out there bc you feel them from the moment they're born and you dream of their successes and losses. You share when they have sex dreams and what happens when you finally meet?

The story behind that gif of Geno publicly nut-tapping Sid during shirts off our backs(?) Dom claiming his territory or bratty Sub making sure he's going to get punished later?

As captain, Sid always has to be in control, carrying the weight of endless responsibilities. He longs to relinquish control briefly, but doesn't feel he is allowed, doesn't even know how to formulate the question. Geno figures out the problem and is up to the job.

During on-ice scrums, Geno always comes charging to the rescue whenever someone takes liberties with Sid. After many years of this, Sid and Geno finally come to terms with what it means.

Sid is arranged to marry the Crown Prince of Russia. Then the Prince breaks the long engagement to secretly marry someone else. War looks like it may break out. To save face, the Russian Royal family ask their lowly cousin Evgeni, to marry Sid. Or maybe seduce him, so the Canadian's can't sue for breach of promise.

As long as Geno has known Sid, he has a gold collar of thorns around his neck. Then one season Geno returns from Russia to find it gone. In its space is the pale length of Sid's neck. Geno knows he shouldn't look, shouldn't even think about it - about Sid... but he can't stop. Maybe D/s au, maybe some mythological au, maybe a magic au, whatever.

Geno likes to wear perfume sometimes (think Flowerbomb by Vikor and Rolf, maybe Bloom by Gucci), and Sidney likes the scent of Evgeni’s skin.

Monster fucking, but think “A monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.” — Ocean Vuong, from “A Letter To My Mother That She Will Never Read”, published in The New Yorker.

Sid/Geno/Anna:

Sid and Anna taking turns fucking Geno with a strap-on 👀

Anna is ovulating and Sid and Geno lovingly and jokingly compete who gets to impregnate her which (of course) means a lot of sex in general

Sid/Geno/Anna scenario where they kind of have a cuckolding/"cheating" thing where Anna fucks one of them and tells the other one about it in great detail to satisfy his humilitation kink. Could also involve filming during sex to show the other partner. Author's choice who loves the humiliation, though it could also be a scenario where she does it to both of them.

[dismissyourdoubt]

03/18/2017

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac, Self Control by Frank Ocean ft. Yung Lean and Austin Feinstein, UGH! by The 1975, Love Money Party by Miley Cyrus ft. Big Sean, Someone Like You by Adele, In My Eyes by Best Coast.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Honestly I can’t deny my love for Anderson Cooper like hi daddy

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “...time. I cover her up, then go to bed and dream.”

4) What do you think about most? Honestly, boys and work.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? It says: “wait the hoodie was more than that it was a different one i was looking at but still got it for $18 bc only 36”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I sleep with underwear on, but that’s it.

7) What’s your strangest talent? Fucking things up and pushing people away, overthinking everything.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Literally as if @ this question

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Um yeah guys actually all of Frank Ocean’s love songs are about me because we’re in love soooooo

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? As if I know

11) Do you have any strange phobias? I have a pretty bad fear of ovens? Like I’m afraid that I’ll basically either fall in or be pushed in and then burn myself and die.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? No but there’s a hilarious story about my dad sticking a pencil eraser up his nose in Catholic school and what happened when it got stuck up there...

13) What’s your religion? I don’t really follow any religion, I like certain aspects of Buddhism but I don’t know enough about it to actually consider myself a Buddhist. Sooo yeah I don’t know.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to/from the bus stop for work, because in the winter that’s really the only reason I leave the house, lmao.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it, usually... Although I film fake vlogs all the time because I think it’s so fun...

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Okay so like the way this question is phrased, I’m only considering bands, not solo artists. So... hmm... Daughter

17) What was the last lie you told? I told my dad I can’t go to a family dinner tomorrow because I have a test, he doesn’t know my driver’s license is suspended because of a speeding ticket and I don’t have it back yet...

18) Do you believe in karma? I mean, I like the idea of it. I don’t know if I necessarily believe that it actually happens.

19) What does your screen name mean? Song lyrics, from Broken by S. Carey.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is honestly my depression and the fact that I’m awful at taking care of myself; my greatest strengths are my work ethic and my intelligence.

21) Who is your celebrity crush? I mean if I had to pick just one I’d probably have to say Tom Daley... or Hunter Parrish?

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I actually don’t think I have.

23) How do you vent your anger? By texting a friend or something like that. I normally don’t get “angry” though, more just annoyed or upset.

24) Do you have a collection of anything? I have a collection of antique keys, tapestries, glass pieces and other stoner shit.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I mean honestly neither like just text me honey, it’s much easier for me that way

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? This is a good question. I look at who I was a little over a year ago, and I’ve definitely changed as a person, and the change has definitely been for the better. So, in that regard, I’m happy with the person I’ve become. At the same time, I do feel that I have such a long way to go. I want to start going back to the gym and make a lot of other changes in my life. But I’m definitely on an upward journey.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Okay I’ll just say I love the sound of Kehlani’s voice because I’m listening to her right now... And I hate the sound of babies crying.

28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I can never have a successful relationship and I end up alone?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I mean, honestly, I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be that surprised if either of them existed. So I’ll just go with yes for both.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. With my right arm, I touched the back of the couch I’m sitting on. With my left arm, I touched the wall right next to me. So exciting.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell? Oregano ;)

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Is college an answer to this question?

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast? Definitely West Coast, even though I live in Pennsylvania, I’m dying to move to California...

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? This is a hard question because there are so many queens I’ve been idolizing lately... Tinashe, Kehlani, Jhené Aiko, Beyoncé, Zara Larsson, Ariana Grande, like damn they’re all hot as hell, you know?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? As if this question isn’t gonna send me into an existential crisis.

36) Define: Art. Okay literally.

37) Do you believe in luck? I mean, yeah, I definitely think that at some points in your life you are “luckier” than you are at other points in your life. But, I think it’s entirely coincidental how much “luck” you have at any given point in time.

38) What’s the weather like right now? It’s not as cold as it’s been the past few weeks. I think it’s around 40, and it’s kind of windy/rainy, but not snowing (it was last night), so that’s good.

39) What time is it? 7:22 PM

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I drive. I’ve never been in an accident, although I did have a near-death experience driving on the parkway a few months back. It was raining and my tires started spinning out of control; I almost crashed off the side of the road and then my car swerved across both lanes of traffic and almost crashed into the middle barrier... Then somehow I regained control of the vehicle. Crazy shit. Not fun.

41) What was the last book you read? I literally don’t know. Maybe Perks of Being a Wallflower?

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? In a way, yes.

43) Do you have any nicknames? Nothing really other than Kev which is just short for Kevin.

44) What was the last movie you saw? Get Out. It was fucking wild. Especially because I went into it without having seen any trailers or anything like that... But I highly recommend.

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Ummm, I’ve never broken a bone or anything like that, so I’m honestly not sure lmfao

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? I haven’t and now I’m kind of sad that I haven’t. Like thanks for calling my attention to that.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Kehlani, I’m definitely obsessed with her right now, like without a doubt. Her and Tinashe but what else is new.

48) What’s your favorite music genre? R&B

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Of course.

50) Do you believe in magic? I mean, probably.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I try not to. I mean, when I cut someone out of my life, it’s (typically) pretty permanent. But I also understand that people change, so I’m not sitting around holding onto hatred for anyone.

52) What is your astrological sign? Capricorn

53) Do you save money or spend it? A combination of both. I make enough money that I can do that ;)

54) What’s the last thing you purchased? I spent like $400 on Amazon, oops. But that included nice chino pants, a ton of random drinks like Snapple and Diet Coke, a tiny golden statue of an elephant, you know, things I totally needed... I also bought a beginner’s dabbing kit which included a little wax container, a dabber, a carb cap, and a titanium nail, so yeah that’s cool.

55) Love or lust? This is a hard question. Like lust is so much better when it’s passionate and there are feelings (love) involved, and love can be so great but love also hurts like fuck. So I mean you know there are definitely pros and cons to both so I don’t know.

56) In a relationship? HAAAAAA AS IF

57) Are you a virgin? Nope.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope, definitely can’t do that.

59) Where were you yesterday? Work, then home, which is literally how I spend 99% of my days, so no surprise there.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? CYNTHIA IS PINK

61) Are you wearing socks right now? Nah son

62) What’s your favorite animal? The zebra. I just think they’re so beautiful and majestic and stuff.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I really don’t have one? I just act like myself and hope for the best?

64) Where is your best friend? She’s at a party with her boyfriend’s family.

66) What is your heritage? Like primarily Czechoslovakian on my dad’s side, I’m not too sure about my mom’s side, but you know I’m basically as white as they come.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping. I’m an old man so I go to bed early now.

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? This is the stupidest question ever and I’m also just noticing that question 69 is missing. And 65 was missing too. Probably others. Bish wut.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes, I’ll always listen if you need to talk about anything, I’m pretty chill and easy to get along with.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I would stop to save the dog, then explain the story to my boss. If the boss wasn’t understanding about that and honestly wanted me to leave a dog there to die, that’s probably not someone I’d want to work for anyways.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) Yes, I tell a select few. b) I travel, try different drugs, try to experience as much as possible in my last month. c) Obviously I would be afraid?

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love. Love, trust is impossible for me anyways.

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Distraction by Kehlani, current obsession

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 8108

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? There are a lot of things that make up a great relationship, I’m certainly no relationship expert but I think some of the more important of those things are mutual trust, attraction, respect, and compatibility.

77) How can I win your heart? Consistent communication, paying attention to the little things, asking how I am, stuff like that.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Absolutely.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Dropping out of traditional college and switching to an online university.

80) What size shoes do you where? YOU MEAN WEAR? 10.5 or 11.

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Ya know, my name, birthday, death date, maybe a cute little illustration, nothing too fancy, just the standard tombstone because I’m nothing too special.

82) What is your favorite word? I really don’t have an answer to this question...

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart. I thought of the song Black Heart by Carly Rae Jepsen.

84) What is a saying you say a lot? AS IF

85) What’s the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Nights by Frank Ocean my king.

86) Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors? Growing up, green was always my favorite color, like olive green. But honestly now I’m more into the blues? And obviously black.

87) What is your current desktop picture? It’s like a scenic portrait of a mountain and a sunset.

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Donald Trump. Am I going to get arrested for typing that?

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Honestly ask me anything, I’m not afraid to tell the truth, haha.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? I really wonder how stoned the person was who wrote this survey...

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Ability to read minds! Or invisibility. Yeah I’d actually probably like invisibility the best.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I just erase the entirety of 2015?

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? FRANK OCEAN

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Somewhere in California or Hawaii. Or maybe I should leave the country and go somewhere nice in Europe like Amsterdam.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail? No I don’t.

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? I never have.

98) Ever been on a plane? Yeah, like three or four times.