#bc the world is so built on labels that it can feel SO daunting and stressful to decide who you currently are

[theflikchic]

"I don't have to figure everything out right now. I can take my time,"

DAMN, I didn't expect JWCC to call out my questioning and mixed feelings on labels like that but I ain't complaining.

[codeform]

I just saw your posts about gender for that Clu person, and based on their responses, I think this is someone who is dealing with a lot of uncertainty and they were hoping for a certain answer for their question. Maybe not a permanent one, but a springboard or starting point. They are probably looking for a starting point that's a little more specific than 'whatever u want' because I think they might've said (or suggested) they aren't sure what they want.

Your answers are correct, of course, but speaking from personal experience on other topics, it can be frustrating asking for a simple yet specific answer (in this case, that would be an answer like 'cis male' or 'transfem') and getting only broad generalities. Might I suggest supplying them with some terms that seem to be a pretty close fit to what they described? You wouldn't be labeling them, you'd just be giving them some things to Google so they can see if it fits them. A place to start their gender identity journey from (because some people do feel more secure when they have that 'label' and this person might be one of those. And that's completely okay if they need that.)

Hope this helps you and them!

i Absolutely agree w u anon! but (and i am speaking as sm1 whose early exploration was almost entirely based off of discussions w highschool friends— all 2nd hand information. which is its own can of worms hsdfjkjs) i do think its important to like. do that initial footwork yourself?

bc (n im glad u agree!) there is just no neat answer!! esp not w nonbinary genders!! I (a man who has a very weird gender itself) am still constantly learning!! and i did edit one of my rbs but idk if Hal saw, but i think a very good place to start is less "what is upsetting me abt my gender" but rather "what is making me happy" — this is just generally a less painful jumping-off point too, bc its usually easier to work through when you're confused (its a lot to unpack upset/pain/confusion at the SAME TIME!!! not fun)

i will stick by honestly wikipedia as a genuinely useful surface level resource. install shinigami eyes so u dont wind up on transphobic sites and it has a solid rundown of both your "basic" terms and the history of the community, especially bc it is very hard if impossible to get an answer when youre asking sm1 else "heres what i feel now what am i." skhsdhf

and no hate!!! genuinely!!! thats a very easy place to wind up in, where u just WANT a clear-cut answer from sm1 else, but like i said b4: nobody knows you better than YOU!! i think theres like. this idea that we all just Knew and the truth is no, i promise we did not. we have all googled "nonbinary definition" "demigender definition" "neopronouns definition" i went thru 2 whole entire genders b4 i settled on Man and MORE AFTER THAT before settling on Man But Weird

AND ALSO. i am open to questions!!!!!!! but i am A WEIRD DUDE W AUTISM AND I AM NOT BUILT FOR MAKING SENSE!!!!! i promise i AM trying!!! and will continue to try!!! but it is abt to be June and pride is this month and wholeheartedly go to your local pride events if you are confused!!!!!! take to queer ppl who are both prepared to answer questions AND can provide much more relevant, local(!!!) resources — and talk to queer elders!!!! meet the coolest people in the world forever!!!!

but yea to circle back 2 th point i was like. Trying to make. doing that initial footwork yrself is the easiest i think bc you know you. i promise even tho it seems daunting it WILL ultimately be less confusing than trying 2 play 2nd hand telephone even if yr playing w friends (like i did. not ideal — wasnt safe for me to research myself but still Not Ideal)