#bc those nightmares are relatively realistic and i Never realize theyre a dream until i wake uo with my heart beating so fast 😭😭
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i hate what my english class is doing rn.
#this id a vent#so our current unit is like family/concept of the smerican dream#and the problem i have with it. is that it literally had been contributing to me having more nightmares Regarding my family issues :’)#i had a rlly bad one last night (not bc of the english unit) and i’ve had others recently before Bc of our unit#and its like !!! make it stop !!!#bc those nightmares are relatively realistic and i Never realize theyre a dream until i wake uo with my heart beating so fast 😭😭#and we’re currently watching the death of a salesman and-#its. so. :( bc the family dynamic and the dialougue is VERBATIM what i have experienced /neg#so it’s just making me relive all this shit i have No intentions of even *touching* and that’s js gunna lead to more bad nightmares :(#i feel very frustrated and sad bc of this. it is disheartening seeing my family dynamic kinda replicated and having to watch it#WHILST LIVING IN IT!!!!#it is my Reality !!!! i dont want to consume this type of media when i am surrounded by it !!!!#agh#english fucking me up fr#my teacher is amazing but this family unit And analyzing the concept of the american dream as Well??? literally a double fucking whammy#i feel like it’s just. contributing to me regressing too bc now that i confront this as school as well its just making it harder to ignore#and not? absorb??#but yeah#bee vents#i needed my thoughts to escape 👍👍
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