#because apparently all i wanna do is fucking destroy everything or be completely apathetic or have a mental breakdown

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm well aware i'm the pathetic one and i need to get over it but i don't know what else to do i honestly have almost nothing in my entire life worth living for i just have my delusions and the people i love and when they're gone i will only be here to imagine that people still love me

[ncfan-1]

Gotham 05X05, ‘Pena Dura’

- I’m having a really hard time caring. This is Gotham.

- Okay, I am officially Checked Out of Selina’s storyline. If you guys think what’s happening is really good, and it doesn’t involve moralizing over Selina’s having committed Murder, message me and maybe I’ll turn the mute off, but for now, no. Just no. I’m not here for this, especially not on Gotham, of all shows.

- Some old man is watching a black and white film on a film projector, to be confronted with guns by Jim and Harvey. He and his gang are holed up in a church.

- Jim and Harvey are had. Except not, because what what looks like a black ops team crashes in, destroying a stained glass skylight.

- And one of Jim’s old army buddies has showed up.

- And by Eduardo, Jim… has really gone to seed. Why am I not surprised.

- “Jim’s taught me a thing or two about being careful.” What? Harvey, why are you lying?

- Why do I feel like Eduardo’s second-in-command is going to be relevant later.

- Bruce is running around the GCPD looking for Alfred. Apparently he can’t find Selina. Alfred’s right that Selina can take care of herself, and is of the opinion that, well, Selina was probably doing the world a favor by stabbing Jeremiah in the gut. Thank you, Alfred. I may not be muting all of Selina’s scenes, after all.

- I can’t believe I’m praising Alfred for anything in relation to his treatment of Selina, but unlike Bruce, he seems to at least recognize that Selina has agency and is going to do what she wants regardless of whether Bruce approves. So yeah. Very faint praise for Alfred. (Whether you choose to damn him with it is up to you.)

- “You’re not a murderer, Ed.” Yes he fucking is. Shut up.

- And now Ed is up against a wall with guns pointed towards him. See how little I care.

- I don’t know what’s going on; I have the mute on. Jim looks… I can never tell if that look is supposed to be troubled or constipated.

- Eduardo has stepped on a sinking tile; I presume he just triggered a trap.

- The floor is lava!

- Eduardo is disbelieving that anyone would seriously choose to come to Gotham, let alone Jim. Join the club, buddy.

- I chickened out and put the mute back on once the scene switched to Bruce looking for Selina. He was in the Sirens, it looked like? Barbara was there, and she looked happy as anything.

- We’re back to Ed with mobs literally out for his blood. A good look for Ed.

- And Oswald is carrying out a deal, and doesn’t exactly look happy when he finds out Ed is responsible for Haven (Though I’m honestly at the point where I think Jeremiah framed him). I notice that for someone who, as Mr. Penn said with his dying breath, everyone hated, he seems to have built up his power base again very quickly.

- Maybe I’m supposed to feel sorry for Ed trying to evade the people out to kill him, but really, I’m not. And I don’t feel sorry for him when he wakes up duct-taped to a lawn chair, either.

- I have the mute on, I really don’t know what’s happening, but I can guess.

- She’s… after him because he killed her dog? Really, I don’t know.

- Gotham is kinda funny with the mute on.

- These actors make really good weird faces.

- And now he’s having some sort of vision of Oswald? I know all this is going to result in is Ed blaming Oswald for Everything That Has Ever Gone Wrong Ever, because God forbid Ed ever take responsibility for anything, but really, this is just gonna be… Oswald, honey, I really hope you’re finally over him. He is so not worth your time.

- Okay, commercial break over, and I think I’ll try turning the mute off.

- “I’m going to fix you, Ed.” Why do I feel like this’ll be sad in context?

- It’s funny with the mute off, too.

- What are backwoods rednecks doing in Gotham, anyways?

- And Ed is here to blame Oswald for Everything That Has Ever Gone Wrong Ever. Oh, the joy.

- I feel like Oswald would be careful enough to have a gun on him at all times.

- Jim doesn’t seem eager to take on Oswald. Interesting.

- Mute is back on with Selina. Selina looks kinda dead-eyed.

- Mute’s off, and Selina’s telling him about her watching his parents get shot. She’s tearing up. Poor sweetie.

- Selina, you’re not convincing anyone when you say you don’t care. You literally teared up when you talked about watching Bruce’s parents get gunned down; that is not the sign of someone who doesn’t care. Sneaking into Arkham for Bridgit’s sake is not something someone who doesn’t care does. Selina probably wants to not care about anyone, but yeah, I don’t think it’s in her to be apathetic to everyone and everything. And of course Bruce is hurt by that, but I don’t think he believes that.

- Boo hoo Ed. Gag me with a spoon; I literally could not be less sympathetic towards him if I tried.

- Turned on the sound just in time for Oswald to tell Ed that he had saved his life.

- And yeah, I’m with Oswald: if he wants to fuck with Ed, Ed is automatically gonna know it’s him.

- Again, boo hoo Ed. I could not care less.

- Oswald is fully willing to hand Ed over to special forces; thank you. But now he’s the only one left holding the bag. Of course.

- Armed standoff time.

- Yeah, Oswald, Harvey’s a free agent.

- And once again, Oswald can’t have a victory that lasts longer than one episode. Because of course.

- Barbara makes very creative threats.

- Yeah, Ed, Barbara has known you to do shit like that. That’s the problem.

- “They killed those people.” Barbara’s not likely to care.

- I don’t like this Christian Bale voice Ed’s doing. It was bad when Christian Bale did it, and it’s somehow even worse when it’s CMS.

- I don’t wanna watch Oswald get tortured. Next scene, please.

- Exchange between Jim and Oswald. And once again, Jim is choosing Oswald even at the expense of clashing with one of his allies. Gotham? You are never gonna sell me on Jim with one his lady love interests. Never.

- Yay, it’s BD Wong time!

- I love BD Wong.

- I love BD Wong even more when Strange is trying to reason with Ed.

- Strange is playing with him and it’s painfully obvious.

- This performance is delicious; why can’t BD Wong be in every episode?

- It’s bizarre to see Harvey giving Bruce a more inspirational speech than Jim’s ever managed. Nice, though.

- Damn; I didn’t expect to see fresh brain in this episode.

- BD Wong is really redeeming this episode for me, because up to now it’s been mediocre to awful. But I’m actually smiling now.

- Oswald’s home again, lugging his dog around. It’s honestly kinda cute.

- Secret vault? Secret vault.

- There Amontillado in that vault?

- “I was merely helping a man who needed medical attention.” I laughed.

- Given how Ed uses people as tools, I’m not shedding tears over him being used as tools.

- I was wondering when the other shoe would drop with Eduardo. Strange is escorted out, and “Walker”—Amanda Waller, I’m guessing; the name’s close enough—wants Ed killed. I presume Amanda Waller is also the one ultimately controlling Ed.

- Honestly, given Amanda Waller’s personality in other works, I wouldn’t put it past her to do the “pragmatic” thing and have Haven bombed so the army can be brought in and Gotham can be brought to heel. She is very much for the order part of law and order.

- If we actually see Amanda Waller, they’d better get someone good. I wish we could get CCH Pounder, but, I don’t know, given that this is show business, they may decide she’s too old for the role.

- I disapprove of mind control on principle, but with Ed, I can’t really dredge up much of the ability to care.

- And Jeremiah’s not dead, because of course he’s not dead.

- I hate what they did with Ecco. I really do.

- “All systems go.” Well, that can only signal good things.

- Last scene is Jeremiah looking at two women who’ve just had bandages removed. “I love family reunions, don’t you.” Whatever this is about, I’m sure it’s going to be clichéd, and not nearly as shocking as the music tries to imply.

- …And something just occurred to me. The army turning out to be Evil completely absolves Jim of any responsibility for fighting with the Army as we saw him doing in the first episode. …

…

…

SERIOUSLY?????

Good night, everybody.