#because i like cGeorge when i write him and in certain fics i find. but so much of it just adds to the Rot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunshine-in-a-bottle · 2 years

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Thanks to Stroob tho my demons aren't rotting me from the inside anymore. I'm still gonna get them out in the tags because the rot always comes back but like, my ribs aren't fucking disintegrating anymore, so thank u, you demonic fruit

#ok so im fucking. i feel fucking. aaaa so messed up about cGogy because on one hand. he makes me bitter #for a number of reasons #on the other hand i feel really fucking bad about being bitter. its a painful upset from which there is no reprieve #because i like cGeorge when i write him and in certain fics i find. but so much of it just adds to the Rot #and it eats me up inside because i have. no fucking clue if my problem with his character is like. Valid #or if its just personal issues made paper flesh #everyone else seems to like him just fine. he's a sweet little meow meow. whats wrong with me #i dunno whenever i get too messed up about it i just write for him #as if in some fucked up sort of apology #i dont even know how to begin to explain. theres no one to talk about it with #i feel like the fucking flower lung disease. hacking up petals trying to contain the intensity of the emotion #fuck this is stressful. theyre just characters why do i feel so bad about it #projection. thats the word. projecting. is my character interpretation correct or am i doing that #does it matter? i feel like it matters. i dont want to dislike a character for the wrong reasons #i dont want to dislike anyone at all really. makes me feel sad.#Im writing him right now cuddling with Dream. trying to fix it. its sortve working #doesnt make the feeling go away completely. but im happy for a while i guess #blah. tldr i dont like certain aspects of cGogy and it makes me feel like a bad person because i suspect its projection #and everyone else is fine with him so it probably is and im just a little silly #and if i cant trust myself to be impartial with him can i trust any of my interpretations at all?#will my writing suffer because of this?#jesus i need to lay down #Suds Soapbox #<== tagged post-laydown in case I need to find this post again for some godforsaken reason

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