#because the transplants are generally the biggest fucking assholes on the earth

[killerchickadee]

The thing about it being my Midwestaversary is like.... sometimes I wonder if I really was that unhappy in Colorado?

Yes. The answer is absolutely yes, and I hated it almost from the very first day. Like I look at Facebook memory posts and even within the first few months I was like, "I hate it here, why the fuck did I move here?" And I stayed there EIGHT YEARS. I've lived in 6 different states and even though I have lots of mental health issues so I'm never really happy, and I have mixed feelings about a lot of the places I've lived in, I've never been as miserable as I was in Colorado. And even though I knew it was bad I didn't realize exactly how traumatic it was until I left. I've been back twice and both times ended up crying because I didn't want to be there. That's.... probably not normal lol.

So like, is my life going well? Not at all lol. Would I say I'm happy? Probably not, because my work situation is shit and I'm a little lonely here (and also the aforementioned mental health shit). But I'm a million times happier where I am now than I was there. I fucking love the midwest so much. Special shoutout to @thebrideofcaliban and her husband for getting me the fuck out here.

[kog0ruhn]

A Layman’s Guide to Shriek (a.k.a. The Most Obnoxious Woman on Sornieth)

If you can’t tell, in the great big world of my clan lore, Shriek is kind of a big deal. It’s hard to believe considering that her entire appearance is absolutely ridiculous and (in my head) she sounds like a female Bobcat Goldthwait, but she’s a powerful girl with a powerful grip on The Abandoned. You know, despite the fact that she has no trade skills to speak of and (until recently) wasn’t very good at the whole “fighting” thing.

But who is Shriek and why is she so important?

Welcome to V-Sauce, where we’ll be discussing this catastrophe in-depth.

Shriek was born above the Windswept Plateau, in a den on the Cloudsong. Her parents were lenient “hippie” parents, the draconic equivalent of New Age hipsters who think that disciplining their kid in any fashion will ruin them psychologically. This doesn’t couple well with Shriek since, from an early age, she’s been a curious and impulsive noodle who is easily distracted, endlessly energetic, and more than a little destructive. Much of her childhood was spent breaking everything she touched and making other kids uncomfortable, while her parents just nodded along in the background and told their neighbors, “She’s such a precocious girl, isn’t she?”

Her best friend growing up was an older coatl named Ramses. He was a transplant from an Earth clan who lived with his adoptive family, and wound up befriending Shriek because she decided they were friends and forced it to become true. He was bigger, she was more forceful, and they wound up getting into all sorts of trouble together. Every last shred of it was Shriek’s fault but Ramses, being passive as he was, had a habit of taking the fall for a lot of it.

Eventually, Shriek’s behavior got them both kicked out of their clan when Shriek--being the absolute genius she is--lost control of herself during a race with Ramses and managed to take herself out by crashing into the Windsinger effigy. The damage was minor and fixable (though Shriek still thinks the head looks crooked), but enough was enough. Everyone came together and decided, “This shit’s gotta stop.” 

Ramses was heartbroken, but Shriek decided she could do better. And “better” was “The Outlanders.”

Who are The Outlanders?

The Outlanders are one of the clans in The Abandoned alliance, though nobody really wanted them there at first. They’re the culmination of Shriek’s surprisingly silver tongue and tendency to prey on want to help the desperate. Her intentions were always good--fellow outcasts with nowhere to go made her heart ache, and she wanted to provide them with a place of safety--but her methods were borderline harassment. While the bulk of the old guard of Outlanders will say they’re fine with where they are now, they’ll be the first to admit that Shriek pestered them for days to join up with her because she’s a neurotic mess who couldn’t stand the thought of leaving folks behind.

Even if they wanted to be left behind.

Pictured: Vincent, who wanted to be left behind.

The problem with The Outlanders is that Shriek didn’t really ever take the longevity of the clan into consideration. She didn’t give a good goddamn if there were capable hunters, crafters, and tradesmen around her. She recruited based on sentiment, sympathy, and whoever she found interesting. Ramses, who was stuck with her because what else would he do, acted as her right hand and the straightman of the whole ordeal, trying to figure out how to organize things to be sustainable while Shriek grabbed loners off the street and announced they were tagging along. 

It wasn’t fun and there was a metric shit-ton of turnover in the membership of the clan. Dragons were in and out like kids at a McDonald’s Playplace.

Things became a little more stable when Shriek’s entourage of oddities wound up in Dragonhome, and Ramses forced her to settle down and make some alliances before they ran out of food and supplies. It required practically pinning her down at the Altar of Naught and frantically pantomiming apologies on her behalf, but she was eventually allowed to stay because her followers displayed a variety of niche skills that piqued The Fifteen’s interest.

Pictured: The “niche interest” people were interested in, because nothing catches a politician’s interest like a goddamn assassin.

So, You Joined an Alliance? Now What?

Well, if you’re Shriek, you’re not much for politics and The Abandoned requires a lot of politicking. This new alliance meant she was now part of The Fifteen and had to attend meetings and make negotiations and generally be what Ramses had been the entire time The Outlanders existed. She had no experience and found the whole thing annoying. She found her fellow clan leaders dry and dreadful, and thought most of their ideas were shit.

In particular, she wasn’t a fan of Snap who was a lot more judgmental, strict, and generally rough to deal with. She didn’t like the fact that so many dragons in the council were afraid to stand up to her so, despite being a tiny speck compared to the impressively buff Plague Guardian screaming over everyone’s head, she started to “negotiate” by loudly disagreeing with everything Snap said. The louder Snap got, the louder Shriek got, and arguments began to eat up council minutes. Everyone found it frustrating except for Shriek who thought she was standing up for the little guy instead of stalling progress and completely missing the point that Snap--harsh as she was--was actually a very good leader who was very good at setting her emotions aside to get shit done right.

This earned her a bit of a reputation as an annoyance and a troublemaker, and made it difficult for The Outlanders to really get anything out of joining The Abandoned. Ramses would occasionally attempt to go behind Shriek’s back and make deals, but Shriek usually managed to botch things anyway. Nobody liked her, everyone hated her, her own clan began to talk about mutiny as time wound on. Folks wanted to appoint Ramses leader or leave altogether.

Then, uh... Flauros happened right when things started to get real nasty.

The Fuck’s a Flauros?

That Looks Bad.

That is bad.

Flauros is a dragon who isn’t a dragon. She’s Shade-based, had no real mind of her own, and just randomly started destroying The Abandoned in a controlled attack that I’ve discussed a lot on my Flight Rising blog. The long and short of it is that a couple of asshole Mirrors who knew their magic managed to steal a summoned creature (Flauros) from her master, then used her to commit mass murder while making it appear as though she was doing it on her own. Lots of dragons died, entire clans were destroyed, The Fifteen became significantly less than Fifteen, and Shriek proved her mettle by using her context clues to solve the mystery, unmask the baddie, and then steal Flauros and use her to absolutely obliterate the Scooby-Doo villain at the end.

This should have marked Shriek as a hero and, in a lot of ways, it did. People realized fairly quick that without Shriek’s abstract way of thinking, stubbornness, curiosity, and attention to detail, that The Abandoned probably would have been wiped off the face of the earth. The problem is that, when all was said and done, Shriek--now wielding the enchanted amulet that Flauros was bound to--refused to turn it over to the bigger, better authorities so that they could get rid of Flauros once and for all.

There’s a number of reasons for her refusal. One was that, after years of being ridiculed and treated badly by The Fifteen (which was, honestly, her fault), she loved having something that made her the de facto strongest of the lot. Flauros and the acquisition of Flauros were proof that she was a competent dragon and gave her a nice shrield against her detractors. Secondly, she was maybe a little motivated by the fact that it pissed Snap off since Snap blatantly abused her authority and influence during the fight against Flauros (which, admittedly, worked out in The Abandoned’s favor and was done because she thought it was the best course of action).

Third was the biggest reason: It was very hard for Shriek to not think of Flauros as a dragon no matter how many times she was told that Flauros was definitely not a dragon. It looked and talked like a dragon, and nothing that happened was actually Flauros’ fault. The idea of her being “killed” for something she wasn’t responsible for made Shriek’s stomach turn, and she felt it was her personal responsibility to save her since she’s the one who “rescued” her in the first place.

And How Did That Turn Out?

What Does That Mean?

Flauros began to become a lot like Shriek. And Shriek began to become a lot like Flauros.

Because of the psychological impact that Shade energy has on dragons and Flauros now being bound to Shriek, she began to change. She was still excitable and energetic, but a lot of folks noted that Shriek was also more serious, dutiful, and even hostile. Actions she used to make out of spite were abandoned (for instance, she started working with Snap pretty easily), but any slight against her was met with rage. There was something dark boiling in that little green noodle, and everyone, even Shriek, knew Flauros was responsible for it.

The flip side was that Flauros started becoming sentient, and with that sentience she became mischievous, curious, and developed a strong sense of justice. Traits that a lot of people associated with Shriek.

It evens out in a lot of ways.

The fortunate part of Shriek’s change in demeanor is that it made her more capable when shit hit the fan in the wake of Flauros’ rampage, when a nasty little Spiral named Elder decided to stir up some civil unrest and then lead a charge against The Abandoned while their pants were down. Even though The Outlanders (and Shriek specifically) were exiled from the alliance, she kept her wits about her in a situation where she’d normally lose her mind. Then, grabbing Flauros by the horns, she cornered Elder in a cave and brought it down on top of him.

Not Flauros, as everyone thinks. Shriek. Shriek collapsed a cavern on top of another Spiral to keep him from murdering everyone to death.

So, Does This Mean She’s a Hero Again?

Yes, mostly. Folks are still wary of her moodswings and Flauros, but you can’t really not treat the girl who saved your ass twice with respect. 

And so Shriek still sits with The Fifteen, her clan was allowed back into the alliance, Flauros is mostly left alone, and she spends her days doing Shriek things as per usual. She’s starting to act more like herself again, albeit with a bit of a dark turn, and Ramses is just glad he can spend more time with his daughter than managing the PR nightmare that is his boss.

But know that when danger rears its ugly head again, Shriek is probably going to be the first one on the front lines because, much like the honey badger of yore, Shriek don’t give a shit. 

[lovecanbesostrange]

Crisis on Earth X is a thing that really happened and I was surprised how many little things were in there that made me very happy. Of course it will always be a sour subject, because wtf did they think that literal Nazis were necessary?

I’m sure there are hundreds of posts talking about this anyway, it all started when news broke, what would happen and now seeing it... WHY? I am not against evil doppelgangers, I love the concept. Especially if they meet and we can see how paths diverge and the good twin, who is in some sort of emotional crisis, finds new strength/faith/believe/confidence. And this would’ve been so easy here.

I like the concept of evil Supergirl. But just have Earth X be a world that was conquered by Superman first. History changed blablabla and now there is this place where physical power reigns and while the few good people killed Superman, everything was worse when Supergirl arrived and took his place. Wow, is she pissed off, losing her planet and learning how humans killed her cousin (her last piece of family). And build the world from there.

It can still be a fascist regime, but it’s enough to have like some sort of stand-in Nazis. I don’t need swastikas, a fucking SS emblem on Supergirl’s chest and concentration camps complete with historical accurate stars of David and pink triangles. Fuck you!

And this evil Kara would still tie in perfectly with our Kara. Better than humans, doing whatever she wants, because she can. In “Supergirl” Kara had to deal with being worshipped and she there is this loneliness, because yes, she is not human and it has become a shield for her. And seeing such a perverted version of herself can be a great inner journey. But the whole Führer crap (lol Kara second-in-command, really????) takes away from that.

I’m somewhat “glad” they remembered that Felicity and Stein are jewish. Then again this came in handy for more revolting drama. I didn’t need to see Earth-X Felicity brought in like that. Also having the “Arbeit macht frei” sign including the upside down b felt so wrong, there is a very specific story behind it. It’s not like superhero stories can’t use this, it’s just... look, seeing Magneto visit Auschwitz means something. Marvel fucked up enough with Hydra!Steve. I don’t need a four episode crossover event of overall lighthearted superhero shows to crank the Nazi shit up to 11. Yes, they are getting punched and everybody gets a “I hate Nazis” line... but you fucking still tortured you two jewish characters and KILLED ONE OF THEM!!

Okay, so Professor Martin Stein was going. You wanted a big heroic death scene/sacrifice as a sucker punch for the end. Have this big loss. I get it. But don’t kill dear jewish Grandpa by faceless swastika wearing nazi soldiers............ PROTECT FELICITY AND STEIN HERE AT ALL COSTS!

I can’t even enjoy seeing The Ray and Earth-X Leo Snart smooching. It’s tainted, because remembering that other minorities were targeted (and having Alex and Sara exchange a glance there, when Stein explains the pink triangles)....... just FUCK YOU ALL.

And that very sweet double wedding ending... it’s spoiled a little bit. Because I do remember the Ronnie/Caitlin wedding, WITH STEIN OFFICIATING! Btw thank you for every moment Stein and Caitlin had. Those were amazing. And that you mentioned that wedding. (Also Caitlin clearifying that she helped with that serum and it isn’t just Cisco and Harry who do the science thing... even though FUCK YOU again, because taking it was so horrible in the end.)

Let all the doppelgangers be super-assholes, let them be villains who out-evil all the main villains. Let Eobard look like the least threatening of them all somehow. Let them kill and conquer and oppress. But you don’t need to put real life monstrosities in there for that.

Okay, okay, so that overshadows everything, but if I step back and look at this as a all-the-superheroes-meet-and-fight-and-save-each-other crossover event. It worked very well. Definitely better than last year (where Kara’s presence was not necessary, guess that’s why she was so prominent this time?) and I liked how everybody could pitch in. And getting some nice personal scenes, before and during the crisis.

I’m very much okay that Central City and “The Flash” family are like the anchor to all of this. “Arrow” was first, sure, but it’s too doom and gloom all the time. Star LABS is a great base of operations and who wouldn’t love Barry and Iris? Sara started out on “Arrow” and thank you, that she always keeps a special connection to Ollie. And Ray was in Star City first as well. Yet somehow the Legends work better in connection to “The Flash” and metahumans and all.

Alex having a little panic attack, because she had her first one night stand was somewhat cute. And I guess there’s no better person to share this with than Sara. XD And Kara cheering her on was hilarious. Yay, sorry you two had a vacation in hell there... tbh if this team needed a leader, I still think Alex would be better qualified than Oliver. Except it turned out to be about Kara and with her sister in danger all rational thought went bye-bye. We are in S6 of “Arrow” and Ollie pulls the same bs as always and I still don’t buy into him as a leader. And sorry, but Sara is the one I want in my corner when shit hits the fan, but the leading aspect... Alex is the best trained for this (as long as J’onn isn’t around), but the biggest handicap for her is not knowing these people yet. And the writers love putting Ollie front and center (on fucking both sides).

I have had a lot of ups and downs with my liking of Felicity (mainly due to rubbish writing for unnecessary drama), but she got to put her best foot forth. OMG when she stood in front of helpless Kara, bodyshielding her. PRAISE! Teaming up with Iris was really cool.

Speaking of cool, I love you, Killer Frost. :3 a) I’m pissed Führer!Ollie didn’t lose his arm to her power, she was freezing him, come on! b) Can she team up with The Ray? Because that money shot with the whole team for the last fight they gave off this Firestar/Iceman vibe. Or c) let her hang out with Amaya and Zari, that was a great girl power moment.

Look, I don’t care too much about the plot. I’m okay with “let’s conquer another earth, and we choose the one day where the most superheroes are grouped up, because we are super confident we can take them; and then we take the heart of one for a transplant”. The most important part about a crossover like this to me are the character moments. (Same goes for event comics, where writers still believe anybody gives a rat’s ass about a convuluted plot with twists they pulled out of their ass. NO WE DON’T!) Know what had me clapping with joy? The caterer at the wedding, don’t try to tell me that was anybody but the daughter of Barry and Iris from the future. That is exciting!

The only other plot device I want to UGH about was the use of Red Tornado. Loved seeing General Schott as the resistance leader. And you know what, I understand why he didn’t want to give them time in the first place. But then he does, but oh no, he orders the strike earlier anyway and suddenly Flash and Ray have to fight the weapon that would help weaken the evil that destroys this Earth. Okay, so evil Oliver and Kara die anyway and Earth-X Felicity was just send off with a gun and will inspire hope I guess... but still... the Crisis on Earth-X is not totally over.

I could go on and on. Even with some nice parts. But again, fuck you for making me cry like that. EVERYBODY PLEASE HUG JEFFERSON SOME MORE!