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Violet Evergarden: Booklet 8

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Back when we first met, she was a doll that didn’t talk.

It made me want to kick her and ask if she was alive. The way she was at that time, she probably wouldn’t have reacted even if she did get kicked.

The world after the war was vividly colored. And yet, it was as if she were living by herself in a grey realm. As if she were trapped in a room where taste and scent didn’t exist. She acted like she were intently enduring unstoppable pain.

——Being with her is boring.

But I couldn’t get my eyes off her.

——Why’s she doing this?

She should’ve used her head. If she thought about it just a little bit, she could’ve figured things out.

——Such a pain in the ass.

She shouldn’t live life wearing her heart on her sleeve. She should be fake, put up a front.

——Protect yourself a little.

All Violet could say about life was that it was hard.

She could do more than twice as many things as an ordinary person could. Yet she was insufferably incapable of doing anything that she was bad at. She also wasn’t good at getting by, couldn’t tell lies and never ran away when she was supposed to.

Most likely, she’d never fought back. As to whom, it was probably against destiny. And probably against the guy called God. She just tamely obeyed them.

It different from person to person, but sure enough, there were people who shouldered mostly hurtful fates. Even when they thought it was over, they’d get involved in painful conflicts again. There was no salvation for people born under that kind of star. Even if they themselves didn’t wish for it, that was what would happen to them. The circumstances would bring it to them. Bring misfortune.

God must’ve been beating her up over and over.

Maybe Violet didn’t like that at first. It might’ve made her cry. But, well, once you got used to it, even violence could become a part of everyday life.

——Isn’t that right, Violet?

God definitely hated you.

Benedict Blue’s Violet

——There’s a doll making noises in this dark room.

The thing in the shape of a blond-haired, blue-eyed girl was earnestly playing a melody. The way her mechanical arms operated the machine made her look almost like a piano accompanist. The ticking typewriter sounds flowed endlessly, practically like music. Slow at first, gradually growing faster. Strong, strong, strong, gentle.

The conversation between machines finished quietly in the room. There was no praise or applause.

The way she simply typed the letters down as if offering a prayer made her look like a pilgrim. Of course, the doll was neither a musician nor a pilgrim. She was a lonely artist.

The doll’s occupation was of Auto-Memories Doll. A profession that had existed since before the war, but the nice old-fashioned job had become active exactly because the war was over. Those who didn’t know the gist of it very well would say that it was a temporary job for women before getting married to rich men. But that actually wasn’t the case.

Since this profession combined physical and brain labor, there were some people who stood out for making a name for themselves in the industry. If anything, the most demanded girls traveled around a lot. The fact that she had been left behind while the others had gone out and was writing down documents spoke volumes about her lack of popularity.

I knew why she was alone in this room right now.

She had gone on a ghostwriting business trip, but was rejected and came back. Apparently, the client had told her that he didn’t want a woman with prosthetic arms, who had marks of the war engraved into her body, ghostwriting for him.

The commissioner of the letter had lost his wife in the war. For the sake of the infant children that had been left to him, he had been searching for a new wife and finally managed to remarry. And so, he was looking for someone to write the wedding invitations. He probably wanted everyone to celebrate it. Like, “Congratulations; hope you’ll be happy together”. People from all over the world.

Of course he’d be disheartened if a girl like that turned up and showed her prosthetics during such a time. It must’ve felt like she was throwing cold water on his happiness. Something might have happened that reminded him of his late wife.

——Like I care, stupid. That ain’t something you can take out on her.

Cattleya went in her stead and got angry, saying he was a nasty man.

People who were hated by God had it hard, I thought.

——There’s a doll standing in front of the entrance, gentle wind blowing by her.

Having come back from a delivery, I found her on stand-by with a tight posture. When this woman was silent, she really was just like a doll.

Had she gone to a client’s house and been turned away again? Or had they told her that they wanted a different girl next time?

Auto-Memories Dolls were something else. I liked just sending deliveries better. I refused to bow subserviently to people who acted conceited. If it were me, I’d have long quit.

But Violet came to work every day.

——She’s got more guts than some.

I was lost as to whether or not I should talk to her. I couldn’t tell someone from a different line of work what they should do. “Cheer up; don’t let it get to you” – I didn’t know if this kind of line would have any effect on her. I had the feeling that she had no need for other people in the first place.

Still, in times like these, the guy that had taken us in would talk to her. “Little Violet, there’s always a next time. You can take it slow,” he’d say.

Before I went to talk to her, she spotted me and nodded in greeting.

“Violet.”

The name that sounded so pretty when it rolled out of my mouth was the one of a flower.

“Did you get turned away again? Hodgins won’t be mad at you. Let’s go in.”

Violet’s eyes blinked repeatedly. “No, I was not turned away today.”

A violet was a flower that bloomed with purple petals.

“Therefore, President Hodgins said we should have a meal as a celebration...”

No matter how many times it was stepped on, this flower never stopped living.

“I see; isn’t that great?”

For some reason, I was relieved, as if I had just confirmed that the chick I had been protecting was okay.

“Yes.”

“Make a happier face, would you... no, forget that. Don’t try to do it physically. Stop using your hands to make yourself smile.”

What a weirdo. She made me feel strange.

——There’s a doll walking around town dyed in the colors of sunset.

A Prussian-blue jacket. A snow-white ribbon-tie dress. An emerald brooch on the chest. A pair of cocoa-brown high-laced boots that made clicking sounds resound from the brick-paved road.

I was used to seeing that doll. To be more precise, she was a girl with the appearance of a doll.

Someone was bound to stand out if they were loitering on a bridge and staring at a map while everyone else was going home. She was in the way of traffic and just her get-up was already conspicuous enough.

The reason why I happened to easily spot her in an unfamiliar town at sunset – a time of the day when one’s vision would begin to worsen – wasn’t that I naturally paid conscious attention to her or anything of the sort. I was just in the middle of a delivery to somewhere a bit far on that day. It was two hours away from the capital Leiden going by motorcycle.

“We deliver to wherever our clients desire.”

That was my job. So it was generally similar to the work of that blond-haired, blue-eyed girl in front of my eyes. In her case, it was “we rush to wherever our clients desire”.

We used to meet in the office building often when work had just started, but lately, we didn’t see each other at all. Her number of commissions had likely increased. Things seemed to be going well for her. It looked like she was having some sort of problem, but she’d probably be okay even if I left her there.

——She gonna be fine, right?

Dressed in an outfit that seemed to pop straight out of a fairy tale, the girl continued glaring at the map.

——Hey, you gonna be fine, ain’t you, Violet?

She was a mysterious Auto-Memories Doll – so beautiful it was uncanny, yet with a somewhat wild aspect.

Some time had passed ever since our boss introduced her to us out of nowhere. We were told that she was an ex-soldier, but we didn’t know the details of her circumstances.

Several of the CH Postal Company’s staff members were unique fellows. A former girl soldier was quite a rare thing, but in any case, our president, Claudia Hodgins, was a former high-ranking soldier himself. Many of us were the kind to dash away without leaning on anyone, despite each having their own burden.

Probably because the president was also like that.

Therefore, well, even if she was younger than me, we were both independent people, so my personal opinion was that I should keep enough distance to watch over her growth rather than meddle in her business.

——She’s dicey...

I stayed like that and watched her walk for a while. Violet Evergarden never spoke up about being in trouble when she was in trouble, so the people around her just passed her by. As she avoided the flow of people while staring intently at the map all by herself, her figure was that of a lonely traveler.

——If you don’t know where to go, ask someone.

I wasn’t nice enough to call out to someone I wasn’t close to. But it wasn’t like we were strangers, either.

I suddenly heard a habitual voice, “Haah? So you ignored Little Violet when she was in a pinch? How insensitive can you be? You’re gonna leave a girl on her own even though it’s about to get dark? You’re a disgrace as a gentleman. Why won’t you talk to her? Are you being shy? Self-conscious? Is that it, Benedict?”

A scene that couldn’t be described as anything but “noisy” surfaced in my head. Tediously lectured by the man inside my brain, I started getting the feeling that I indeed should help her out.

Without any other choice, I concentrated my strength on my stomach and called her name as if yelling in anger, “VIOLET!”

She who was loved by the president like a princess reacted by perking up like a rabbit and then looked my way. When I waved at her to come over, she rushed towards me in a sprint. “Benedict, is something the matter?” That was the first thing she said, dealing me an under-shoulder swing-down.

“Don’t ask me if something’s the matter. What’s up with you...?”

“I have finished my ghostwriting business trip here, so I am about to go back to the company. I was informed by the townspeople that it should take about six hours on foot, so I was attempting to confirm the direction.”

“‘Walking’, you say...? How’d you get here?”

“By train up to a nearby area. I took an omnibus from there... however, as the ghostwriting took more time than the expected, I wound up missing the last ride.”

“You could just spend the night at an inn, y’know?”

“This is a distance that I can conquest by marching, so that would be a waste of time and funds.”

When I heard the word “marching”, I almost let out a sigh. As expected, it seemed she still couldn’t get over her soldier spirit.

“I’ll let you ride behind me... so let’s go back together.”

“Is that all right?”

“Obviously, since we’re going in the same direction. But even if you were going a different way, well, I’d still give you a lift.”

“I am heavy; will you be able to handle it...?”

I looked at her slender waist and neck, wondering what she meant by that, but then concluded she was talking about her prosthetics. Once she hopped on the motorcycle, its running speed undeniably slowed down. We had issues going through unpaved roads, as the tires mired in.

“Perhaps I should run behind you?”

About this girl’s stupid side, she always decided to sacrifice herself.

“No, there’s no meaning in that.”

Whenever I was with her, I understood why Hodgins had told me to take care of her.

“We can arrive together.”

“You dumb or what? This thing normally carries baggage much heavier than you, so it’s gonna be fine.”

“An excellent soldier it is.”

“You mean ‘an excellent motorcycle’.”

Inwardly, I was thinking, “I’m screwed.”

“Benedict.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you very much, Benedict.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

“I shall pay you back somehow.”

“I get it already.”

“I cannot give you a fixed date for it at the moment, but... I will give you some sort of monetary compensation.”

“No need.”

“But...”

“I said I don’t need it.”

“Then can I count on you again another time?”

“You’re so cheeky all of a sudden.”

“Taking work efficiency into consideration, being given a ride by one of our company’s postmen is extremely helpful.”

“Aah, so that’s what this is about.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll do it if I feel like it.”

“Shoot,” I thought.

I was weak to stray dogs and cats that didn’t get too attached to people.

——There was a doll walking in the rain.

Leiden was on a shortage of rain lately, so this shower was literally a blessing. But for a postman carrying materials and letters that shouldn’t get wet by any means, it was nothing but a visitation of misfortune.

I decided it’d be best to have the lunch that I had missed rather than force myself to carry out the deliveries and fall off the motorcycle. When I walked into a café that I was well-acquainted with, I found a number of people that had taken shelter just like me.

——Good job at work, I whispered in my head to all the workers present.

I ordered a warm beverage and meal set first-thing and then went to take a seat. It wasn’t by my own request that I got a seat by the window. The waiter was the one who took the hint.

——All I have left to do is go back to the company after three more deliveries and then list the remaining ones.

Coffee was a delicious thing to drink while listening to the sound of gently falling rain.

——Speaking of which, I also gotta order the equipment that broke.

Thinking about work even when on break wasn’t a very good thing to do, but it couldn’t be helped considering the line of work of postmen. We were always pressed for time and even if we had a lot to do in one day, the amount of stuff we could handle was limited. I felt that even more keenly because I could sense from experience that my position was gradually rising within the company.

——I’ve got a lot to do. And after that... after that...

While thinking about this, I found something odd in the cityscape.

The view of Leiden was picturesque under rain. I myself liked the rain when I didn’t have to work. But no, that wasn’t it – I had spotted Violet running amidst the rain. She was holding a bag, which probably had letters in it, tight against her chest so that it wouldn’t get soaked.

I stood up from the chair without thinking. Albeit through glass, when Violet passed in front of my eyes, she also took notice of me and stopped.

Ever since I’d started giving her rides on my motorcycle, we came to a mutual understanding. That being said, she didn’t talk much, so I often called to her one-sidedly. I found out that she’d properly speak once spoken to.

“How ‘bout you take a break too?” I gesticulated.

“No, I will return to the company,” Violet replied by gesticulating too.

“That so? Thanks for the hard work.”

“Thank you for your hard work.”

When I waved, Violet waved back a little. With no facial expression, she waved her hand.

Violet’s figure then quickly disappeared from sight, and I felt that the coffee I drank after this had kind of changed in flavor. I had the feeling that it gained a strange aftertaste.

——So she can wave her hand and stuff like that.

She probably wouldn’t have done that at first. I didn’t do it either. ‘Cause, like, it was the Violet Evergarden. The girl who tried to physically lift her cheeks when Hodgins told her to “stop the deadpan in front of the customers”, and then reported that it didn’t work. The girl who described walking a distance for hours as “marching”. The girl who took action as if she’d forgotten her emotions somewhere. The girl who was always looking only at her emerald brooch, as if she had nothing else that was close to her.

A girl who didn’t seem to have a single friend.

——And yet, she waved at me.

Maybe that moment just now was a crystallization of the time Violet and I had spent together until we got to this point? That fact tickled my heart in a sort-of mushy spot. For whatever reason, I felt that this I flavor, which I had never tasted before, was coming from the coffee. The feeling wasn’t as easy to understand as what I felt for other women... Rather, it was embarrassing to say it aloud, but this was the innocent kind of deep affection that you’d feel for a fellow human being.

——Guess it’s really the kind of happiness that you feel when a stray dog starts getting attached to you.

If a woman that I was having a crush on were drenched in rain, it would’ve probably sprouted ulterior motives in me. No, if I had to pick, she was more like an underling to me, wasn’t she?

Not understanding anything about this feeling, all I could do was worry about her catching a cold.

——I’m getting soft.

Aah, as I had thought, I was screwed. Pretty screwed.

——A doll brought a little kid over and is asking for the impossible.

“I would like to go looking for Lady Isabella York.”

I was wondering if she’d started to take notice of her own charm lately. How should I put it? No, she probably hadn’t noticed it. Rather, I was the one who had taken notice of it, hence why I’d find myself thinking that.

“Please...”

Hearing her ask for a favor felt quite ticklish.

I want you to consider this. Suppose there’s a stray dog or cat that you weren’t too close to and just started getting along with, what would you think if it started crying “meow, meow” at you?

“She is my friend.”

What would you think? It’d thug the strings of your heart, wouldn’t it?

“Benedict, can I count on you?”

Our president, who had caught this disease first, immediately threw this proposal at me.

——His rationality’s faltering. Deal with it a bit more like an adult.

Hodgins was head-over-heels for Violet. No, not in a weird sense. He really looked after her as if she were his own family. Age-wise, she was too big to be a child, but since she was so childish on the inside, he wound up treating her like a daughter.

When Violet said “please” with her blue eyes staring at him, he generally couldn’t refuse. Plus, whenever she asked for a favor, it was often in situations that had quite some urgency to them, which she really couldn’t do anything about on her own and she needed help for, so denying it would be inhumane. She normally didn’t rely on anyone, which made turning her down even nastier.

——Stop; don’t look at me. Don’t turn those wet eyes towards me.

“Benedict...”

——That ain’t fair. Taylor, don’t give me that same look either.

In the end, I accepted the job, but it was a pretty daunting one.

——There’s a doll knocking on the door at three in the afternoon.

The apartment I’d been renting ever since I started living in Leidenschaftlich was sordid. One could see to some extent what kind of life a person was living if they visited said person’s room, but everything in my room made it look like a temporary home. It didn’t feel like a bedroom.

Probably because I didn’t think I’d keep on working as a postman.

All the furnishings were stuff I’d picked up, so their colors were fading away and some part of them was always dusty even if I cleaned it up. The scarce sunlight was also a bad thing. There was only one window and the curtains were always shut, so it was easy to accumulate dust.

I used to keep them properly open before, but after coming across a suspicious person in the middle of the night, I began shutting them. Not for my sake. It was for the perpetrator who might target my window again one day.

Not only did I push him off the window, I also gave chase, held him down, got on all fours to beat him to a pulp and then took him to the military police, where he had to immediately be sent to a doctor and they told me that what I had done was “overuse of self-defense”. Why was I the one who had to be told off? Honestly, this city was peaceful only in people’s heads. That wouldn’t bother my past self, but I kindly led him to the military police because I was a postman now.

To top it off, annoyingly enough, the perpetrator that I had put in critical condition apparently thought I was a woman. I certainly didn’t have bad looks, but that was a stretch, yeah? He should’ve taken a look at my shoulder width.

“Benedict.”

Anyway, well, this apartment wasn’t very good. I had nothing to worry about if I were attacked, but the memory that I kinda got scared and stayed in Hodgins’s apartment for a while remained with me.

“Benedict, it is past the arranged time.”

So there was no helping that I had no idea what time it was now. I kept my curtains shut, after all. I couldn’t tell if it was sunny or dark outside.

“It is past midday. Already three o’clock.”

The day after I got wasted was a holiday, so there was no helping that I couldn’t wake up. Right?

“Benedict, may I break the door in order to check for your life signals?”

Being asked for drastic measures, I jumped from my bed and headed to the front door. When I opened it, what I saw was a woman with golden hair that shone more than mine, like the Full Moon, and blue eyes of a shade deeper than my own.

“Violet...”

Violet Evergarden. She was an Auto-Memories Doll from the same company as myself.

We sometimes interacted at work, but her visiting my home was a first. It was pretty sunny outside and Violet looked like she could be turned into a beautiful painting with such a stunning afternoon scenery behind her.

She didn’t have bad looks either, just like me.

“What’re you doing?” I asked with my face flushed from drinking and my voice a bit hoarse, causing the slightest bit of chance to Violet’s lack of facial expression. She frowned a little.

“We had an arrangement.”

“What kind?”

“Choosing a gift for President Hodgins.”

“Is it his birthday?”

“No. Had we not decided to give him a gift during the banquet that will be held on the anniversary of the CH Postal Company?”

We might have. When she said that, I had the feeling we did.

I fell silent for a moment and dug up my memories. Violet patiently waited for me while I stayed quiet.

“Wait, I really can’t remember. What kind of promise did I make about this?”

Violet’s eyebrows curved downward this time. Having spent some time with her, I could tell that this was Violet’s “sad”. Moreover, she definitely would never say that she was sad, so the feeling would just be absorbed inside of her without her ever speaking up about it. Crying like a pipe wasn’t her character. She wouldn’t whine, either. That was exactly why she stimulated my sense of guilt.

After a short interval, Violet opened her mouth, “Yesterday, we spent dinnertime together.”

“Now that you mentioned it, we were. We rarely do that. I have the feeling I was the one who invited you.”

“Yes. It was just dinnertime, after all... We went to a place that served alcoholic beverages, but I accompanied you because one can both drink and eat there.”

“I feel that we... ordered a spicy seafood soup together.”

“It was fiery.”

“While we were eating... that’s right, I was drinking.”

“You were. According to the owner of the establishment, the amount that you drank was too large for an adult to consume in one day.”

“You didn’t have to add that.”

With her long, golden eyelashes bending down, Violet said, “Albeit with slurred speech, Benedict, you were talking about how grateful you were for every single day.”

My brows furrowed at the statement of the woman in front of me.

“You were grateful to President Hodgins for taking you in as a postman. I am grateful to him in a similar way. Most likely... what people call ‘companionship’... happened between us for a moment... and we discussed about the two of us giving him a present on the upcoming anniversary.”

“You’re kidding.”

“It is true.”

“You and me? Gratitude? Companionship?”

If anyone else were telling me this, I’d be sure that it was made up.

“Gratitude and companionship towards President Hodgins.”

But this woman was the one saying it with her skylark voice, so I could do nothing but believe it. Because there weren’t many people in my life – and most likely in all of Leidenschaftlich – who were as diligent and straight-laced as her.

——They say there are people who can’t live if not like this.

There were bound to be easier ways to live, but she couldn’t manage them. Therefore, she also couldn’t lie.

I urged her to continue with a “go on”.

“I asked you what would be good as a gift for President Hodgins. You receive a salary, thus something compatible with it would be in order. But Benedict, you said you were running out of money.”

“Sounds like something I’d say.”

“I then suggested a compromise plan, in which both of us would give money and buy something together. We also settled on a time to meet. Three o’clock on the next day... literally this very moment. Benedict, you drank quite a lot, so I brought you over to this residence once we left the bar.”

“You brought me here?!” my voice came out alarmed.

Violet was making a face that seemed to ask if there was a problem with that. I was an adult man.

“I did. Compared to heavy weaponry, you are as light as a feather.”

This former girl soldier’s prosthetic arms and tough body were terrifying.

“However, leaving aside the fact that I carried you, Benedict, when I saw you languidly stretched out like a snake, I expressed concern that you might not manage to get up the next day. You confirmed my concerns and said that you wanted me to come fetch you. I acknowledged this, put it to action, and now here we are.”

In that moment, I had a sudden thought.

“Haha.” When I realized it, I found myself laughing.

“Benedict, this is not the time to laugh.”

“No, I gotta.”

“This is not the time to laugh.”

——No, I gotta laugh, Violet. We’ve gotten really close.

We spent time together day after day. Each of those times, my emotions would gush forth.

“Violet, you’ve been coming back home through some weird road again, haven’t you?”

“Violet, don’t report my fails to Hodgins.”

“Violet, you know why Cattleya’s pissed?”

“Violet, look, it’s my new motorcycle.”

“Violet, put on a coat when if you get cold.”

“Violet, why do you make decisions without asking anyone’s opinion?”

“Violet, help me clean the desk.”

“Violet, that’s inefficient. Take the routes I taught you.”

“Violet, that’s unfair.”

“Violet, I had a weird dream yesterday. Do you dream?”

“Violet, I’m gonna take a nap, so wake me up when Cattleya arrives.”

“Violet, I found an umbrella repair shop. I’ll take you there so hop on.”

“Violet, did you hear? Looks like that bakery’s gone out of business.”

“Violet, you didn’t get a souvenir for me?”

“Violet, if you got anything that’s troubling you, just say it. Count on me.”

“Violet, Violet, Violet.”

“Violet.”

——There’s a dool looking at herself in the entrance hall’s gigantic mirror.

Leidenschaftlich’s national flower was the bougainvillea. White, pink, colorful bougainvilleas bloomed under the clear sky, tinting the city in a myriad of hues. She was repeatedly putting on and taking off a hat that had said flowers as patterns.

“You ready?”

When I spoke to her, Violet turned around. “Yes.”

Having grown up considerably from the time we had first met, she couldn’t be called a girl anymore. Still, the Violet who used to be helplessly lonely would stay in my heart forever and ever. The Violet who kept on living despite being at loss. The Violet who hopelessly chased after just one person, like an idiot. I was watching her the whole time. Watching from the side.

“Isn’t it fine that way?”

When I said this, Violet nodded in agreement and put the hat back on.

We were about to go to a wedding ceremony now. A very happy one at that – a marriage between our co-workers from the CH Postal Company.

The romance between one of the receptionists and my junior postman was something that took quite some time and had its detours. They kept failing to see each other, so the people around them had given up, thinking it wouldn’t be possible...

But the guy found his resolve and held up the woman.

I’d also been watching over the progress of their love for pretty long, so I was sincerely glad that it had bloomed. The one who thought so most keenly was probably Hodgins. As proof of that, all posts had ceased service at three o’clock today. We all headed to one of Leiden’s luxury hotels to hold a feast.

Hodgins seemed moved by the fact that a couple had been born at the company he had built and by today’s event, in which they were even going to get married. Therefore, everyone was to participate. Adjusting the schedules was a hassle.

We were the only ones left in the office till the last minute. After closing the front doors and hanging a “closed for today” sign, we had to get ready to go.

No riding the motorcycle today. There was a carriage waiting for us outside.

Dressing up to attend a wedding with her and stuff like that...

——Now it feels just right.

I no longer had that hesitation from the beginning and taking care of her completely fulfilled my reason for living. As for Violet, her way of dealing with me became cruder with each year.

“How do you escort someone again?”

“Bend your arm. I will place my arm around it.”

“Can’t we just hold hands?”

“We should not incite misunderstandings.”

“That wouldn’t happen with you and me. C’mon, let’s hold hands just to test it out.”

“Why?”

“‘S fine, ‘s fine.”

The two of us stood tentatively in front of the enormous mirror. And then we held hands. The pair of blue-eyed blondes were side by side harmoniously.

“Whoa.”

“What do you mean by ‘whoa’?”

“We really do look like siblings when we’re next to each other, huh.”

Golden hair and blue irises. Different shades, but still similar.

At first, it was someone who mentioned it, and after they had said it, I thought it could be true.

“You probably think so because our hair and eye colors are alike. Is this enough? I am letting go,” Violet said, but I squeezed her hand even tighter.

Don’t know why but I wanted to do so.

“Benedict.”

“This doesn’t mean anything weird.”

There was something I was thinking about today. A statement I wanted to make.

“Violet.”

——You remember how many times we rode on my motorcycle? I don’t remember anymore. First times keep piling up little by little, to the point where they stop being special and turn into an everyday thing. When these things are part of daily life, they’re so in our face that we don’t realize it, but in a corner of my head, I’m at least aware that they’re not gonna last forever. We’re just co-workers at a company. I’m a man and you’re a woman. But it’s not like we’re in love. It’s not like we can be a family, either.

“Hey, if you ever get married, make sure to give me a proper heads-up.”

——But don’t simply start acting like I never existed.

“Why...?”

“It’s fine, ain’t it? Got nothing to lose by that.”

——Even if that time comes for you and you disappear from my sight one day, don’t act like I was never there.

“I merely do not think this would ever happen...”

“You can’t know for sure, yeah?”

——I’m actually not the kind of guy who concerns himself so much with someone else. I’m a guy who doesn’t warm up. I ain’t bad at looking after people, but to tell the truth, I’m not sympathetic. I’m not Hodgins. Basically, my top priority is myself. You changed me. I used to have no interest in you. You didn’t matter to me. For me, you were no more than one of the characters who turned up in my life. But you make a difference. A lot of difference. That’s probably why I changed, but it’s so stupid. Nowadays, if fate ever happens to beat you up or if there’s ever a time when God knocks you out, I don’t mind stepping forward and getting hit by either of them in your place. Violet. It wasn’t fun seeing you looking miserable and hanging your head low. It wasn’t fun hearing the details about your past. It wasn’t fun watching you get jerked around by the ghost of just one person. It wasn’t fun when you tried to be an adult while staying an unhappy child. There might be people like you around the world. Yet you were especially boring. God hated you. But now you’re the most amusing fellow ever, who managed to change herself. Your actions definitely changed people, one by one. I saw it all. I was proper witness to it, Violet Evergarden.

“You did your best. So when there’s an important event in your life, I’m gonna see it through no matter what.”

I thought Violet was going to be quiet like usual, but she was staring intently at me. Her silence wasn’t painful anymore.

I could feel her hand, which I was grabbing one-sidedly, grasping mine back. The pain of it was a proof of trust.

——Your prosthetics are strong.

“All right...” Violet whispered nothing but that.

But just that was enough.

“It is... about time we take our leave.”

“True.”

In the end, we forgot about the escorting and walked off still holding hands. After we locked the door, everything was closed.

The carriage’s cab was waiting reverently. Hodgins’s thoughtfulness could be go too far at times, but this was just perfect.

“Hum, I have been thinking.”

“About what?”

“We cannot know... what the future has in store...”

“Yeah.”

“So, Benedict, will you also report to me when you marry?”

“Nah, it’d be too much work, so maybe I wouldn’t tell you anything.”

“Why...? Did you not say that there was nothing to lose from it?”

“Oh, you got complaints?”

“I do not. I merely pointed out a contradiction in the conversation.”

“Lies. You do. It’s written on your face.”

“I am merely pointing out a contradiction in the conversation.”

“Like me lots, don’t ya?”

“I am merely pointing out a contradiction in the conversation.”

“You being shy?”

“I am not.”

“Are too. Don’t hide it.”

——God, even if You hate her, she’s so dear to me that I can’t help myself. Leave her alone.

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