#benefit of having two big beefy guys in love is that 'your voice is low' applies to both of them lol

[martianbugsbunny]

It's giving Kalluzeb in the jungle of Yavin

[pinkchanelbag]

i got the emperor. can i get friends with benefits with reiner braun?

(THANK YOU FOR SUCH CREATING THIS BEAUTIFUL EVENT, NIA! i remember when i saw your wheel event? it is cool, too!)

THE EMPEROR — REINER + FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. [NSFW, 18+]

“dude, stop, why do you keep going on your phone?” 

“because it’s a bad movie, connie.” 

jean and connie’s bickering overlaps with the dialogue of the truthfully really awful action film connie put on for you all. still, you’ve been trying to pay attention despite that, and the arguing has you giving up on your attempt as you throw your head back into the cushion in exasperation. you’re sat on the long end of the L shaped couch with a popcorn bowl separating you from sasha, jean beside her and mikasa beside him. adjacent to mikasa is the love seat, which connie takes up with his legs stretched out, forcing armin to sit on the floor with his back against the seat and his legs braced against the bottom shelf of the coffee table. finally, across the same table is where eren and reiner sit on the floor, playing paper football on the table.

yeah...tonight’s movie night is turning out anything but interesting. 

as jean and connie dissolve into more petty fighting, mikasa gets up and nudges the brunette’s knees to get him to scooch into her spot so she can take his place next to sasha. the two girls start their own small conversation with sasha picking up the popcorn bowl to offer some to her friend. 

bored, bored. you’re so terribly bored, and after the frankly irritating week you’ve had, you were hoping your friday night with friends would feel a bit more alive. 

“man, fuck you.” you lift your head at eren’s voice to see him probably lose another game. he slumps onto the coffee table, effectively squishing the makeshift football field. reiner smiles devilishly. he’s sat the closest to the tv with his back slightly turned to it so that from where you sit, it’s easy to make eye contact with him without him having to turn. 

he leans back and braces his weight onto his palms on the floor, and just so, his eyes meet yours. he grins at knowing you saw his win, and you smile back with a quirked brow and tired eyes. for a moment he looks concerned. your only response is sticking your tongue out as if to say bleh, a clear communication to him of your mood. his smile is sympathetic. in fact, his entire appearance tonight looks uncharacteristically unthreatening. the beefy guy usually scares away any first years in sight. tonight, though, his hair rests comfortably on his forehead, and in place of a usually tight t-shirt he wears a big blue knit sweater that looks like the definition of warmth. you think about how nice a hug from him would be right about now. 

you refocus from your thoughts when you see that he’s tilting his head at you. his brows raise in proposition and he subtly nods—somewhere. somewhere behind him, next to him. it doesn’t matter where exactly, but the general message is anywhere but here, and it’s obvious what other activity he has in mind. 

you roll your eyes, but the smile on your face gives you away. 

“sasha.” you brush the girl’s thigh. she turns to you with a mouth stuffed with popcorn and a hm? sound. “i’m gonna take a nap in your room, ‘kay?” she nods with another mumble around her mouthful, and you can’t help but feel bad at the lie as you pat her thigh and push off the couch. 

you’re laid out on her bed for probably around ten minutes, parallel to the headboard with your legs dangling off the end. you’re about to text reiner and ask where he is when the door cracks open softly. you crane your head down to watch as he slips inside like a gentle giant before turning to you.

“what’d you say?” 

“that annie needed a ride home from her match,” he laughs. 

“you idiot.” you sit up. “annie never needs a ride.” reiner’s chest rumbles with a laugh as he approaches the bed until he’s right between your legs. you drop the crown of your head onto his hard abdominal muscles. 

“think they know?” 

you ponder for a moment.

“mikasa, probably.” he hums his agreement. his hands are flat as they move down your arms, practically leading them to his belt loops. “she probably hasn’t said anything ‘cause the thinks we’re, like, in love or something.” reiner laughs again, and it gently bumps your head against him.

“how nice of her.” this time you’re humming agreement as you obey his silence cue. your fingers find the button on his jeans and undo them, then the zipper. his semi is already looking up at you through the jeans, so you’re quick in pulling down the pants and observing the tent in his boxers. 

“that was fast,” you comment. 

“your fault,” reiner says, tapping a finger at your bare thighs. yes—you wore these little shorts today that put your thighs on nice display. you smile to yourself egotistically before taking his shaft through the fabric and directing the leaky head to your mouth. you lick and suckle at the wet cotton for a minute, darkening it with your spit and his precum while he forces his grunts into heavy exhales. 

“quit teasing.” his hand is wrapped around your wrist in an instant, and in the next instant, you’re on your stomach. your shorts are off in another instant. he doesn’t so much as take your panties off, instead yanking them to the side and pulling his stiff cock out of his boxers. the feel of his tip against your cunt has you flinching, because no matter how many tries you get to become acclimated to his insane size, you never really will. but he’s already pushing into you after gathering up your slick—”all this just from licking at me?” he comments. 

“reiner...too big...” you mewl. he hooks his hands around the front of your thighs to pull you close and prop your ass up for him. he slaps it once, twice, before bending over your frame with a huge arm on either side of your body.

“you can take it,” he growls as you feel him sink into you inch by inch. his sounds are low and primal as he feels your gummy walls embrace him. yours, on the other hand, are high and involuntarily loud. you bury your head into the sheets to keep quiet, but reiner is pulling you up with a hand around your neck in an instant. “mm-mm. lemme hear you.” he finally bottoms out with a low hiss, pressing his cheek to your ear so you’re as close to him as possible when he says, “let them hear you.” 

note: yeahhh...idk why this turned kinky LMFAOO but i hope you enjoyyy!

NIA’S 999 EVENT.

[stone-monkey]

Ladies to marry in Skyrim

After seeing @carmillasleatherpants​ play through Skyrim recently, I thought I’d put together a handy guide of Women to marry, it terms of Benefits and Convenience. To ask them to marry you, do their quest (outlined in the links) and walk up to them wearing an amulet of mara.

Camilla Valerius

Name choice aside, Camilla is one of the first ladies you come across in Riverwood and she’s rather simple to win the heart of. Just simply do the Golden claw quest, which you probably will do during the main quest anyway. There is an annoying love triangle she’s a part of, and you can ruin it for the other two by marrying her. (Sucks to be you guys). They are both creeps anyway.

Pros:

Easy to marry

Good name

I think you get co-ownership of the shop? Not sure

Break the hearts of two idiots

Cons:

Not a follower so risk of dying I think?

There’s a bug with the love triangle quest where the ‘winner’ follows her to your house

Mjoll the Lioness

Riften’s wannabe protector, you’ll meet Mjoll as soon as you step into Riften. Her quest is hard as balls for a low level Dragonborn though as you need to go into a Dwemer ruin and grab her Sword (or as she calls it: “SUHWORD”). That said, she is an essential PC so there’s that.

Pros

Can’t die

Big ass sword that you can use

Follower so you bring her along and kick ass together

Cons

Her lines can be somewhat annoying

There’s a bug where Aerin follows her around like a dumbass puppy. Yes yes, I know you saved her life but that doesn’t mean you should just moon over her you know

Hard as balls quest

Borgakh the Steel Heart

You want a buff lady orc? I’ve got your buff lady orc. Granted I haven’t recruited her, so I got no clue what she’s like, but I know my audience so here you go. You need to be able to enter Orc strongholds first (automatic if you are an orc, do a quest for any orc if you aren’t) and persuade her to follow you. Free her from the expectation of marrying some boring orc chief guy and get to marry the Dragonborn instead. Much better. Pros:

Buff orc lady

Awesome name

Follower

Once you’ve gotten into the stronghold, easy to recruit

Cons:

Have to do a Stronghold quest if not an Orc

A bit of a trek to get to Mor Khazgur 

Lydia

Not tattooed, Bethesda missed a trick there. You get Lydia early through the main quest after killing your first dragon, and she follows you around and complains a bit. Not much to say really, though her extra lines in the Dragonborn DLC are pretty funny.

Pros

Follower

Dead easy to get through the main quest

Pretty handy in a fight

Dragonborn DLC lines with the black books are (personally) hilarious

Cons:

“I am sworn to carry your burdens”

Brelyna Maryon 

Want a cute dark elf mage? I’ve got your cute dark elf mage (Incidentally you can’t seem to marry a Bosmer at all, and there’s only one High Elf who is a bit stuck up). Simple enough to get, just join the College of Winterhold and let her experiment with you...no not like that. She turns you into several animals at one point. Anyway she has a few beefy spells and is rather sweet.

Pros:

Easy to get, just join the college and do a favour for her

Follower

Watch as she burns your enemies to a crisp

Quest is hilarious

Cons:

Turns you into a bunch of animals by accident, but this could be a plus tbh

Turns you green for a few hours

Aela the Huntress

One of the companions, you meet her when you first travel to Whiterun, and she invites you to join the Companions. Unfortunately you have to complete the whole questline to get the option to marry her. Also, she’s a werewolf.

Pros:

Follower after you complete the companions quest

That Armor

Werewolf

Cons:

Bit stuck up

Have to do the whole bloody companions quest line before you get the option to marry her

Werewolf

HONORABLE MENTION:

Serana

No you can’t marry her. Look, I don’t care if she’s a Vampire voiced by Laura Bailey, you just can’t marry her ok??

[howdoyousleep3]

Anon #6 and #16

Anotha’ one.

Request: “For the sex tropes meme: #6 (one person meticulously doing something entirely for the other’s benefit without expectation or need of reciprocation) and #16 (sleepy morning kisses that accidentally turn intense), for shrunklyclunks (or at least big!Steve/twink!Bucky). I love your writing!”

And I love you. Here you are! @the1918

Bucky is soft in the mornings. His tight forehead wrinkle is nonexistent, his shoulders aren’t tense, his jaw tends to go slack. He’s beautiful, stunning, but he gets soft too. He gets handsy and squishy, wants Steve pressed against his front, gives him kisses wherever Bucky can reach, blushes when Steve gives him some back in return. He huffs hot breath against the back of Steve’s neck when he grumbles, looks at him like he’s the one who pulls the sun up in the morning and pushes the moon high in the sky at night. Some mornings Steve wakes and Bucky is there, tangled in a sheet watching him and he can’t help but scoff and call him a jerk as Bucky wraps him up in thick arms.

This is a morning where Steve wakes up feeling like he’s been run over by a train in the best fucking possible way, said train being one James Barnes, fucking him into the next day the night before. He’s achy all over, ass throbbing, jaw twinging, neck raw; it is bliss. When Steve hears Bucky rumble from behind him, feels his furnace of a form press against his backside, beefy arms wrapping tight around his middle, nose going for his neck, Steve shivers. Bucky made him come three times last night, was insistent on it, and here he is getting hard and flustered only mere hours later.

He’s insatiable. When he’s got a man in his bed and in his life like Bucky, how can you be anything but?

With the larger man pressed up against his backside it is hard to ignore something else pressing up against his backside. Steve grinds the cheek of his ass against Bucky’s erection softly, gently, not wanting to wake the other man but wanting to rile him up a little, let him be pulled from the fog of sleep deliciously slow. It doesn’t take Bucky long, never does when the possibility of sex is upon him, and a low husky noise is falling onto the sweet skin behind his ear, Bucky’s hips rising to the bait.

“You’re’a slut,” Bucky whispers gruffly, affection in his tone, arm tightening around Steve’s wisp of a waist before he’s sucking on Steve’s earlobe gently. Steve doesn’t even have to be looking at him to know that his eyes aren’t open, that his high cheeks are flushed, that he looks beautiful. Steve chooses to not respond with words but with a hum, a hum that says, “Yep, all for you” and Bucky’s reaction is to bring his arm up to grab at Steve’s chin, pulling his head around.

Kissing Bucky is like nothing else Steve has experienced. Even in between these rumpled sheets of his old mattress in his rundown studio apartment he feels like the luckiest man in the world, morning breath and all. Bucky’s lips are always smooth, an insistent lip balm user, and they are commanding and giving, unyielding and sweet. Their kisses are slow, relaxed, uncaring, just a little press here and a glide there, Bucky waking up lazily. Steve melts into it, Bucky’s chest at his back, his mouth, his embrace.

When Steve feels the tip of Bucky’s tongue touch his bottom lip, a gentle glide, a tease even when the bastard is barely coherent, he literally fucking whimpers, can’t even help himself. Steve’s noise has the other man more alert, grip on his jaw tightening, pressing his cock into the cushion of Steve’s ass in a dirty little roll. This escalation of physical touch is nothing new, nothing out the ordinary; they’re both head over heels hot for each other. Tongues make the kiss messy but messy is good, so good, has Steve whining some more, bringing his hand up to slide through chestnut hair, fist closing in a good tug.

Bucky sighs, chokes on it a little, breath beating on Steve’s mouth, and he needs to hear more of that, more of those noises, all of them. Steve lets Bucky’s hair go, bringing his arm down to push at the arm tight around his middle, and begins the process of slithering and sliding down the bed, down Bucky’s thick torso.

That gets his attention.

“Stevie, baby, whattya’—”

“You hush, lemme be sweet on you, Buck,” he commands softly, affectionately, growing hotter by the second at the thought of being the one to make the man melt into the mattress, to fall apart completely, to start his day off with a glorious orgasm. Him—it was Steve that could do that to Bucky. Sometimes he forgot.

He knows they make quite the picture this early morning: his little twink of a form pushing at the broad thick chest of a man the size of Bucky, slinking down his body between the sheets as gracefully as possible, sun filtering in through the curtains to the left of them, a sleepy look of love etched across Bucky’s face as he shifts and moves with Steve. There’s a chilly bite in the air, one that makes Steve want to keep the sheet draped across his shoulders as he settles between Bucky’s tree-trunk thighs, kissing at the crease of his hip on the way, squeezing his sides. Bucky purrs.

Steve barely waits, can’t help himself when Bucky’s cock looks so proud and heavy starting to drool a little on his stomach, and he leans forward, scatters the base with kitten licks and soft kisses. Bucky’s shaky sigh and tiny effort to spread his legs some more spurs him on some, makes him groan a little as he sucks kisses up the shaft, letting them be wet and messy ones, knowing Bucky loves it that way. A little more spit than necessary, a couple soft noises, a hand cupping Bucky’s balls have the man letting out a gluttonous chuckle of a moan.

“Shit, baby you really tryin’ to be sweet, huh?” Bucky’s voice is gruff and low and it simultaneously makes Steve shiver and preen, settling over him like an extra blanket, making him warm and cozy. A wide palm cups the back of his head briefly, just a touch, slides around to pinch at his earlobe gently before dropping back by his side. Steve chooses to not respond once again, just looks up at Bucky under his lashes as he wraps his lips around the head of his erection, fat and heavy on his tongue.

This morning calls for a slow start and even if it didn’t, Bucky enjoys an erotic and gentle beginning to getting his cock sucked. He likes seeing Steve’s lips stretch, likes the lock eyes with ocean ones, likes to purr and watch himself slip and slide between lips and disappear in Steve’s mouth. He knows Bucky is watching, can’t not watch, and with his lips still loose around his cockhead he swipes and slides his tongue out and around sloppy and loud.

“Fuck, doll you know how I like it, look at ya,” Bucky whispers, biting off a small set of moans when Steve brings his fingers up to wrap around the base as he bobs his head, slow and increasingly deeper, relaxing his throat until Bucky hits the back of it. Both of them groan hotly, both men thoroughly enjoying the feel of Bucky so deep in his mouth and throat, so heady and consuming, so good. Steve doesn’t stay in one place for too long, keeping up with this languid slow pace, pursing his lips and letting spit slip out the seam of them as he moves.

He shoulders a little more between Bucky’s thighs, brings his other hand up to join the first, but slides this pair of fingers lower, rubs at his taint and the small amount of saliva trailing down. Bucky moans, heavily breathing at this point, still slow and long, and spreads his legs, tilts his hips.

Oh. What a treat.

He pulls his mouth off of Bucky’s cock slowly, a yummy drag, lets his hand replace his lips as he murmurs, “You want a finger or two, big guy?” jacking him slowly, lips pressing against the skin of Bucky’s cock as he speaks, finger of another hand just pressing against his hole. Bucky huffs, stretches with a small loll of his head and croaks, “God, would love ‘em, baby.” Steve hums, detaching himself momentarily to pick up the bottle of lube off the floor, carelessly tossed the night before.

He coats a few fingers, slicks them up real good, flutters his tongue around Bucky’s angry red cockhead, sucks it into his mouth. His fingers press against Bucky’s perineum at the same time, swirling the sticky lube around, acclimating the other man to the feel and temperature, Bucky sighing, arguably moaning. He’s so soft, so ethereal, so pretty, moaning and carefree and feeling so good all because of Steve, he was the one doing this to Bucky, the thought so utterly consuming, knocking the wind out of his goddamn chest.

When he presses in with one finger, just the tip breaching the ring of muscle, Bucky’s head falls back, his neck arches, his fingers twist in the sheets. Steve moans, presses in slowly at the same time he lowers his head, swallows Bucky down slowly to the root, finger and mouth moving to the hilt at the same time.

“Ohh, fuck, Steve yeah just like that,” he whispers encouragingly, a breath of a noise, grinding down onto Steve’s finger filthily before pressing up into Steve’s mouth, so obviously torn and slightly overwhelmed. He knows what Bucky likes, knows what he craves, what gets him to that point, messily but aggressively bobs his head up and down as he moves the one finger in and out at the same time. He isn’t sure if Bucky even realizes he’s making noises, low breathy ones, but damn are they beautiful.

The only warning he gives Bucky of the second finger is a press tight against the first, sucking his warm cock long and hard to the tip as his second finger slides home. Bucky curses, spits it out into the air above, spreads his legs unnecessarily so, whines. Steve loves that he can do this, that Bucky can fuck him better than anyone, make him cry and come and drool, but that he too can give Bucky this kind of pleasure, show him how much he appreciates Bucky.

His fingers pump at a rhythm that matches his mouth, making small noises of his own, wet sloppy ones, encouraging ones. His tongue flutters, strokes, presses in all the right spots, below the crown, up the thick vein, in and around his slit. Bucky’s chest trembles.

“Baby, you’re gonna make me—”

“In my mouth, come in my mouth, want it,” Steve gasps when he pulls off, not even giving Bucky enough time to respond before he’s working his cock and his ass like a champ. The fingers between Bucky’s cheeks move with purpose, deep and slow, his other hand jacks his cock at an equally gutting pace, his mouth curled around the head, his tongue working overtime.

“Fuck yeah, oh shit, baby yeah yeah makin’ me—oh,” Bucky whines, hips rolling, thighs trembling and Steve gives one more encouraging hum before Bucky’s fingers are in his hair and he’s pulling and Steve is groaning as Bucky’s balls draw up tight. Steve presses his fingers in, digs them in, takes Bucky to the back of his throat, wanting to give him the most, give him more intensity, maximum pleasure. Bucky shouts, one loud harsh noise, and he’s shooting off in the back of Steve’s throat, warm and salty, bitter and thick. Steve loves it, swallows it down, moans as he does so because Bucky’s ass is fluttering around his fingers and it’s delicious.

He swallows every drop that Bucky has to offer, licks up any that seeps out, tight fist around his drooling cock, ears taking in the long and low moans that Bucky lets out, loves them, loves Bucky. By the time Steve has sucked him dry, milked him for what he’s worth, he barely has time to comprehend the feel of the other man yanking him up, grip tight on his biceps, strength consistently alarming and so fucking attractive. Bucky’s lips press against his face, scatter kisses, pleased little noises slipping out with them. When Bucky’s hand reaches for Steve’s cock he pushes at the brunette’s hand, smacks it away.

“No, Buck, s’just for you, quit,” he explains, settling and laying into the other man, stretching atop him, knowing Bucky can take it, insists on it. Bucky pouts, makes a huff, tries to grab at Steve again, getting a sharp, “James,” in return, settling for a grab of the ass instead.

“S’sweet’a you, doll. But I got you later, you better be on your toes, Rogers.”