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adiwriting · 7 years

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My Home 1/2

Oliver and Felicity have been best friends since 1st grade. So when Oliver is found by some fishermen after he being lost at sea for 5 years, she’s ecstatic. The only problem is, the Oliver she lost, may not be the Oliver they found.

This is the final installment of a three part mini-verse. {Previous parts: “My Compass” and “My North Star”}.

This fic is the smuttest thing I’ve ever written, so the rating on this fic has definitely been bumped up to E. Shout out to @acheaptrickandacheesyoneline for the encouragement, roadmap help, and beta!

Read on AO3

Starling City 2012

Felicity is just finishing washing her makeup off when a knock at her bedroom door has her rolling her eyes.

“I already told you, I’m not going out with you tonight,” she says, walking towards the door. “Some of us have to work in the morning.”

When Felicity opens the door, she expects to see Tommy dressed for the clubs and ready with a witty remark. She does not expect to see him looking shell shocked, tears in his eyes, and hair a mess.

She's only seen him look like this once before — the night he told her about the Gambit getting lost at sea.

“What’s going on?” she asks as her mind instantly begins working through worst case scenarios. Somebody is hurt. Somebody’s been kidnapped. Somebody is dead.

She can’t do this. Not again.

“What happened?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper, not sure if she really wants the answer.

“They found him,” Tommy says, his voice shaky.

“What?”

“Oliver,” he says, a smile slowly forming on his lips. “They found him.”

Felicity’s heart speeds up and hope begins to swell, but she tries to push it down. They’ve been here before, too many times. After Hong Kong, Felicity vowed that she wouldn’t let herself go through that heartbreak again. She can’t do it.

She shakes her head. “No. Oliver is dead.”

By now the smile on Tommy’s face is a mile wide and she wonders if he’s using again. He’s been known to hallucinate Oliver when he’s high, but he’s been clean for over a year as far as she knows.

“It’s real this time,” Tommy says, reaching out to put his hands on her shoulders. “He’s alive. Thea just called me.”

“No,” she shakes her head, not daring to believe it. “We looked for him… We searched for years…”

“I know, but they found him. Moira talked to him this evening. He’s coming home,” Tommy says. “Oliver is alive and coming home.”

“He’s alive?”

Tommy nods his head and pulls her in for a hug.

“I don’t understand,” she cries into his shoulder trying to process everything.

She doesn’t understand how it is even possible. They searched for the Gambit for years. They hired people to do deep sea dives looking for their remains. They hired people to search any nearby land where they could have washed up. She had trackers on everyone’s accounts if they ever managed to make it back to the land of the living. They’d come up with nothing. The closest they ever came was in Hong Kong and the most that achieved was getting Tommy kidnapped and held for ransom before the police could rescue him.

Why now? If Oliver really is alive, where has he been all this time? Why hadn’t they been able to find him?

“Where has he been?” she asks.

“He was stranded on an island. Some fishermen found him,” he says, rubbing her back in soothing circles, trying to get her to stop crying, but the tears won’t stop. She’s too overwhelmed with a million different emotions at the moment.

“He’s been alive this whole time?”

“Yeah,” he says.

“Alone?”

It had been her biggest fear for him if he had made it. That he would be the only survivor. That he would have spent the past 5 years alone. It was that thought that had kept her going in the search for so long, even when it felt pointless. The only reason she’d stopped searching was because of what happened to Tommy in Hong Kong. She hadn’t wanted to risk losing anyone else she cared about on what had started to look like a pipe dream.

“Thea said nobody else made it.”

“Oliver’s alive,” she says, taking a deep breath and letting the relief sink in along with the guilt.

Tommy nods. “Oliver’s alive.”

****

Through they’ve known of Oliver’s survival for almost a week, it takes him that long to make it back to Starling City. The Chinese government insists on putting him in quarantine until he can have a full work up from a doctor and the US Embassy has to confirm his identity before they will reissue him a passport. Contrary to popular belief, money can’t always buy everything. Felicity doesn’t know how anyone convinces Moira to stay in Starling and wait for Oliver to come home, but she suspects that it had to be a request from Oliver himself, otherwise Moira would have never listened.

After all, she knows how antsy she is to see her best friend again, so she can only imagine how anxious Moira and Thea have to be feeling.

“He flies in tonight,” Tommy tells her when she walks into the kitchen freshly changed out of her work clothes and into her pajamas.

“I’m sure Moira and Thea are relieved,” she says, sitting down to the dinner Tommy has prepared for them.

“I spoke with Raisa. Moira wants Oliver to be checked out by the doctor here first thing, but we can go over for dinner tomorrow.”

Felicity freezes at that. “Dinner? At the Queens?”

“You want to see Oliver, don’t you?” Tommy asks.

Felicity reaches across the table to refill her wine glass. “Well yes, but Oliver isn’t who I’m worried about seeing. Moira is not going to want me there.”

“You worry too much,” Tommy says. She notices his phone lighting up and when he glances over at it, he discreetly pulls it into his pocket like he’s actually hiding anything from her.

“What are you going to do about that?” she asks, knowing that it had to be a message from Laurel. There’s nobody else that Tommy would try and hide from her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says.

“Okay,” she says. “I’m just saying, if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

“If I want to talk about it,” Tommy says with a self-deprecating laugh. “What’s there to say? I’ve been screwing my previously dead best friend’s girlfriend and now he’s back…”

“You were both grieving,” Felicity says, reaching her hand out to put it over his. “And considering the fact that Oliver sent me a drunken confession of love the night before he left and took off with Laurel’s sister, he doesn’t exactly have any room to be upset at you over Laurel.”

Tommy shakes his head and Felicity lets it go. This is something he’s going to have to work through on his own.

“So dinner tomorrow at the Queens,” she says, changing the subject and he sends her a grateful smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there the whole time,” Tommy says. “Besides, everyone will be so overjoyed to have Oliver back that Moira will barely notice you’re there. I promise.”

“She does know I’m coming, right?” Felicity asks.

“Of course.”

****

“You’re sure that Moira is okay with this?” Felicity asks as they pull up to the Queen mansion the following evening.

She hasn’t been in here in years, not since she moved away from Starling in 8th grade, but it’s just as big and imposing as she remembers it being. The only place she’d ever been comfortable in this house had been Oliver’s room. The rest of the home always felt cold and lonely.

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Tommy asks as he puts the car in park and turns it off.

Felicity glares at him. She doesn’t know if he’s deliberately being obtuse or not, but she doesn’t appreciate it. Her nerves are already through the roof.

Moira has never liked Felicity, ever since the first day she came over to play with Oliver. The dislike only grew the older they got as Moira realized that Felicity wasn’t going anywhere. For years her dislike stemmed from the fact that Felicity lived in the Glades and thus Oliver often visited her in what Moira considered to be the ghetto. But dislike turned to pure hate when Moira found out that Oliver made the decision to get on the Gambit the day after Felicity turned him down.

“I doubt she’s still holding onto that,” Tommy says.

“Really?” Felicity says, unamused. “Moira Queen isn’t going to hold onto the fact that she blames me for Oliver’s death?”

“Well Oliver’s not dead,” Tommy says with a smirk, getting out of the car.

“Somehow I don’t think that will matter to her,” Felicity mumbles to herself.

Tommy comes around to open her door and pulls her reluctantly out of the car.

“I thought you wanted to see Ollie,” he says.

“I do,” she says. She just doesn’t want to have to see Moira.

“It’ll be fine,” he says. “Come on.”

Tommy doesn’t bother with knocking, something only he can get away with. He just opens the door and steps right in. Felicity freezes on the porch as she catches sight of Oliver in the entryway. Her heart gets stuck in her throat and the breath leaves her body.

It’s really him. They hadn’t been lying to her. Oliver’s really alive. No matter how many times Tommy had assured her that it was true, there was part of her that refused to believe it. That refused to hope. But now, here he stands, alive and well, and she feels like she might faint.

“What did I tell you, yachts suck,” Tommy says, causing Oliver to turn around with the trademark smile of his that she feel in love with all those years ago.

He looks different. He’s bigger, which is surprising. She’d been expecting him to be wilted away to nearly nothing like Tom Hanks in Castaway, but he’s built. His arms look significantly more muscular and she has to stop herself from thinking about how they would feel around her body… Now is hardly the time for those old fantasies to resurface.

Oliver’s eyes meet hers as he hugs Tommy and it’s like a scene out of a cheesy rom-com. The world actually slows down and all she can see is him.

She wants to go to him, but she can’t get her body to move. What if she’s just dreaming this? What if she wakes up and he’s gone again?

This can’t be real.

Felicity doesn’t get happy endings.

“Felicity,” Oliver says her name like a prayer and it’s those words that spur her into action. She runs into his arms with such force that he actually has to take several steps back in order to keep them from falling over.

“I looked for you everywhere, I couldn’t find you,” she says into his shoulder as his strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her up and onto her toes so he can bury his nose in her neck like he used to do. “I had trackers on your email accounts and social media. I hacked into satellites to run facial recognition. I swear, we tried everything. We looked for you. We did—”

“Felicity,” Oliver cuts her off and his breath against her ear causes a shiver to run down her back, effectively shutting her up. “It’s okay. I’m home now. I’m home.”

He says the words with an extra tight squeeze and she gets the distinct impression that he’s not just talking about being back in Starling, but before she can ask him about it, they are interrupted by somebody clearing their throat.

Oliver lets go of her and she takes a step back from him to look at Moira.

“Ms. Smoak,” Moira says with a cool tone that is probably supposed to sound polite, but Felicity can hear the malice behind it. “Tommy didn’t tell us you would be joining us this evening.”

“Well, I didn’t… I thought that… Tommy said…” Felicity shoots Tommy a glare that he ignores as she stumbles over her words trying to come up with a good excuse for being here without an invitation.

“I figured the more the merrier,” Tommy rescues her with a warm smile, walking over to give Moira a hug. “I hope that’s not a problem.”

“I can just go,” Felicity says, inching towards the door.

She knew this wasn’t a good idea. As much as she wants to spend time with Oliver after 5 years away, she does not need to spend the evening with Moira shooting her dirty looks and making condescending comments every chance she can. Oliver’s back. He's not leaving again, she reminds herself. She can catch up with him another time.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Oliver says, grabbing onto her wrist before she can make a run for it. “Raisa always cooks more than enough to go around. It’s not a problem.”

“Of course not,” Moira says, though she can tell it pains her to say it. “I’ll just tell the staff to set another place.”

“I’m going to kill Tommy,” Felicity mumbles under her breath as Tommy follows Moira out of the room.

“Don’t do that. I’m glad you’re here,” Oliver says, pulling her in for another hug. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” she says, all anxiety gone the second his arms are around her again. She melts into him.

Oliver pulls away and helps her out of her jacket before taking her purse and handing both items off to one of the mansion’s many staff members.

“I didn’t realize you and Tommy were so close,” Oliver says as he places his hand at the small of her back and leads her in the direction of the dining room.

“Oh yeah,” she says. “We actually live together.”

Oliver’s hand drops to his side and she can feel the air in the room get tense. She turns to look at him in confusion, unsure of what it is that she’s said wrong. Was she not supposed to become friends with Tommy? Before the Gambit went down, Oliver was always pressuring her to hang out with Tommy more. Sure, he used to hit on her to make Oliver jealous, but he was never serious. Oliver knew that. It’s why he pushed them to be friends.

“I’m sorry,” she says, unsure why she’s apologizing exactly. She shouldn’t have to feel bad that Tommy and her ended up leaning on each other when the Gambit went down. “Things weren’t great for us. I mean, I’m sure they were better than wherever you were, and I’m sorry about that. But things were hard without you and Tommy was there.”

“You don’t have to explain,” Oliver says cooly.

Felicity reaches out her hand to place it on his arm and thankfully, he doesn’t flinch away from her touch.

“He’s my friend, but that doesn’t mean I missed you any less,” she says.

“Friend?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says, giving him a strange look as the mood in the room instantly lifts.

“Alright,” Oliver says, placing his hand on her back once again to lead her into the dining room. “We should go eat before my mom has an aneurysm.”

They step into the room and Oliver leads Felicity to her chair, pulling it out for her like the gentleman he’s always been. At least that much hasn’t changed, even though she can tell a lot of other things certainly have, for starters, his sheer body mass… Not that she's noticing.

She's most certainly not having inappropriate Tarzan fantasies at the moment. That would be wrong.

She settles into her seat between Oliver and Tommy, and uses the opportunity to reach out and pinch Tommy’s leg as hard as she can.

“What was that for?” He glares at her, as if he doesn’t already know.

“You told me that she knew,” she whispers, not wanting to be overheard.

“I find it’s always better to ask forgiveness rather than permission,” Tommy says with a wink, not in the least bit apologetic. She rolls her eyes and makes a silent vow to get him back when he least expects it.

“Are we interrupting something?” Moira asks, raising her eyebrow in their direction.

“Felicity was just telling me how much she missed Raisa’s cooking,” Tommy lies effortlessly.

“You and me both,” Oliver says.

“No roast on the island?” Tommy jokes.

Oliver laughs, and to the untrained ear it would sound natural, but Felicity can tell there’s something just slightly off about it.

“So what have I missed?” Oliver asks the table after a few moments of awkward silence. “I’ve been gone for 5 years. When I left Thea was still in pigtails and braces.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Thea grumbles.

“Well I finally graduated college with the help of this one,” Tommy says, pointing to Felicity. “It’s no double major and two master's degrees but dear dad was still shocked.”

“I bet,” Oliver says, shaking his head before turning his attention to her. “So that means you ended up getting both your masters then?”

Felicity nods, blushing at the look of pride on Oliver’s face.

“And what are you doing now?” Moira asks, feigning curiosity. “Still an IT girl?”

Felicity bites her tongue at the way Moira says IT girl as if it’s a dirty word. It’s the same way that Moira used to tell the other parents that her mother was a cocktail waitress and that was why she couldn’t make it to school events. Like the two of them are no better than a prostitute working the street.

Alright fair. There were certainly days in the beginning when she was constantly clearing porn off of servers that she started to feel dirty, but working in IT is nothing to scoff at. Last week alone she managed to stop a Chinese hacker group from getting into their files and attempting to hold the company’s servers for ransom. It takes a lot of intelligence and determination to have gotten where she is today in such a male dominated field and she’s damn proud of her job.

“I’m actually Head of the IT department at Merlyn Global,” she says, trying to keep her voice civil. Oliver just got home. She’s sure that he doesn’t want his welcome back dinner to turn into a fight.

“Malcolm is lucky to have you,” Walter says, kindly.

Felicity’s always liked him. She’s not sure how Moira ended up with such a kind man. Tommy tells her that Moira has a good heart, but Felicity’s never seen proof the woman even has one. “If I remember correctly, Queen Consolidated has tried multiple times to steal you away with no success.”

“You have?” Moira asks with a tone of surprise.

“I’m happy where I am,” Felicity says, not bothering to add that it would be a cold day in hell the day she ever agreed to work for Moira Queen.

“You should tell them the exciting news,” Tommy says.

“News?” Oliver asks.

“Next month, I’ll be taking over as Head of R&D when Ryan Davenport retires,” Felicity says, unable to hide her excitement. She still can barely believe that she’s been offered her dream job. Malcolm gave her the position after hearing her vision to turn Merlyn Global into the next powerhouse tech company to rival even Palmer Tech.

“I didn’t realize Ryan Davenport was retiring already,” Walter says.

“It was a surprise to us all,” Felicity says.

“Nobody more than the soon to be ex-Mrs. Davenport,” Tommy says with a snicker. “Seems that Mr. Davenport met wife number 4 while vacationing in the Caymans two weeks ago.”

Moira gasps in shock. “Poor April.”

“Well that’s what she gets for breaking up his second marriage,” Thea says under her breath, but not quietly enough. Moira shoots her a dirty look. “What? It’s true. Eva Davenport told me.”

“I’m sure there’s a more appropriate conversation to be having right now,” Moira says. “Oliver doesn’t want to hear the neighborhood gossip.”

“Congrats on the job. I know it’s always been your dream,” Oliver says, reaching out to put his hand on her thigh, where nobody else can see. Unfortunately, the shock of it causes her to knock over her wine glass, earning her yet another glare from Moira as Raisa moves in to clean up after her.

“I’m so sorry,” Felicity says, trying to help the woman, but Raisa just shoos her hand out of the way.

“Smooth, Smoak,” Tommy laughs.

Felicity gives him a dirty look.

The room goes quiet as the conversation lulls for a moment or two, but thankfully Raisa comes out a moment later with their entrees, giving them the perfect distraction.

“It looks delicious,” Felicity tells Raisa as a plate is put in front of her.

“Yes, Raisa, thank you,” Tommy says as he starts to dig into his plate. “Okay. What else did you miss? Superbowl winners: Giants, Steelers, Saints, Packers, Giants again… A black president. That’s new. Oh, and Lost? They were all dead. I think.”

“For the last time, they were not all dead,” Felicity says rolling her eyes. “How many times are we going to go over this?”

“Were they not all dead in that church?” Tommy asks.

“They were dead at the end. But they weren’t dead the entire time,” she says with a long suffering sigh.

“I guess we’ll have to have Ollie over for a binge night so he can decide for himself,” Tommy says, giving Oliver a wink.

“If we’re going to binge watch shows that Oliver missed, I have a list,” Felicity says, immediately starting to think of all the important shows they’ll need to catch Oliver up on. Movies, too. There have been so many good movies…

“What was it like there?” Thea asks and instantly the room goes quiet as everyone looks around awkwardly, trying to figure out if they should step in despite the fact that they all obviously want to hear Oliver’s answer.

“Cold,” he finally says after several tense moments.

Felicity has an image of a cold, wet Oliver huddled under a tree for shelter as he tries to build a fire but doesn’t know how. Instantly, her appetite is gone. While she’d been living her life, getting her dream job, and living in a spacious downtown apartment with Tommy, Oliver’d been stuck on a cold deserted island all alone. It’s not right.

“Tomorrow, you and me, we’re doing the city,” Tommy says, thankfully breaking up the tension. “You’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Moira jumps in.

“Will you be there?” Oliver asks her.

“Felicity probably has to work, right?” Moira answers for her. “What with your new promotion and all.”

Felicity is tempted to call in sick just to annoy Moira, but she’s right. Felicity really can’t miss any work right now.

“I can’t,” Felicity says and the way his face falls just the slightest bit pulls at her heart and makes her wonder. Is it possible that he still feels the same way about her after all this time? After she’d turned him down because she hadn’t been ready at the time?

“But you can come over for dinner after I get off?” she offers.

“And by dinner, she means she’ll order us all something,” Tommy says. “The first night we moved in together Felicity tried to cook me pasta and I ended up in the ER.”

“Do you always have to tell this story?” Felicity asks, blushing. While she’s not usually that embarrassed about her lack of cooking skills, she doesn’t exactly want to give Moira anything else to add to the list of grievances against her.

“Oh, I remember her legendary culinary skills well,” Oliver says with a smile. “Only girl that ever tried to feed me burnt cookies on my birthday.”

“Har har. Let’s all make fun of Felicity,” she says.

“Sorry, Love,” Tommy says, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. “But I did offer to pay for cooking classes and you turned me down.”

“I turned you down because the implication that I would ever have to cook simply because I’m the woman in our home is sexist and I…” Felicity trails off before her rant can really get going when she remembers where she is and sees the way Moira is looking at her. She puts her foot out, ready to bolt at any moment. This dinner cannot get any more awkward.

“So, where are you going to take Oliver tomorrow?” she asks, changing the subject, willing everyone to stop staring at her.

“I’d like to stop by the office,” Oliver says and Felicity is shocked. Oliver never once showed an interest in his father’s company except to show up at the start of summer each year to introduce himself to the new interns.

“Well there’s plenty of time for all that,” Walter says. “Queen Consolidated isn’t going anywhere.”

At that moment, Raisa ends up tripping over Felicity’s foot and tumbles into Oliver, who thankfully manages to catch both her and the dish she’s carrying.

“I am so sorry Mr. Oliver,” Raisa says.

Felicity is about to apologize as well when Oliver begins speaking Russian.

She’s surprised and completely confused.

“Dude, you speak Russian?” Tommy says, voicing all of their thoughts.

Oliver Queen is many things, but fluent in Russian isn’t one of them.

What exactly happened to him on that island? she wonders.

“I didn’t realize you took Russian at college, Oliver,” Walter says.

Because he didn’t, Felicity thinks, eyeing him carefully, trying to figure out the mystery that has been placed before her.

The island they found him on was deserted. How could he have picked up a new language? And even if that was possible, wouldn't he have picked up Mandarin? Or possibly Cantonese? Learning Russian seems unlikely. They'd found him in the North China Sea.

“I didn’t realize you wanted to sleep with my mother, Walter,” Oliver says.

The silence that falls over the room is awkward and uncomfortable. Felicity looks at Oliver, but she can’t tell how he’s feeling. She doesn’t know if he’s angry that his mom moved on, or just hurt. She can’t read him and that only further emphasizes to her that a lot has happened in the 5 years he’s been away.

“I didn’t say anything,” Thea says.

“She didn’t have to,” Oliver says.

“Oliver,” Moira says, reaching out to take Walter’s hand.

Tommy and Felicity share a look. They both know how hard it is to see a parent move on with somebody who isn’t your mom or dad. She silently tries to ask Tommy if he thinks that Oliver is alright and thankfully, living together for the last four years means that he knows what she’s asking. He just shrugs.

“Walter and I are married. And I don’t want you to think that either one of us did anything to disrespect your father.”

“We both believed that Robert, like you, was, uh, well, gone,” Walter adds.

“It’s fine,” Oliver says, even though it sounds anything but.

Felicity reaches out to put her hand on his thigh in comfort but he stands up before she can. “May I be excused?”

Moira nods and Oliver goes to leave. She wants to say something to him. She wants to make sure that he’s okay, but words won’t come. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to say. She used to always know how to make him feel better, but she’s starting to realize that more may have changed between them than she’d like to admit. He’d been gone for 5 long years and she can only imagine what that had to do to him.

Oliver squeezes her shoulder in a silent goodbye.

“Hey, don’t forget about tomorrow, buddy,” Tommy says and Oliver gives him one quick pat on the shoulder in conformation and winks at Thea before leaving without another word.

“I swear I didn’t tell him,” Thea says, defensively.

“We know,” Moria says.

The room falls into silence as everyone begins inspecting their plates much closer than is necessary.

She’s worried about Oliver. It must be so difficult for him to adjust to being back. For him to come home to his entire world changed. Maybe he too, like them, expected everything to magically go back to the way things were before.

“Maybe I should go check on him,” Felicity says, but instantly regrets it when Moira says, “I don’t think that’s appropriate. This is a family matter.”

“Right,” she says, biting her lip. Family. Something Felicity is not a part of. Despite the fact that Felicity always considered Oliver family, she is not a Queen and Moira likes to make that abundantly clear.

She sends Tommy a pleading look. Now that Oliver is gone, she wants to leave.

Thankfully, Tommy’s skilled at reading a room and knowing what people want, even if he doesn’t always listen.

“We should get going,” Tommy says, placing his napkin in his plate and standing up. “Felicity has to work early tomorrow. Thank you for a lovely evening.”

“Thank you for coming, Tommy,” Moira says, casually leaving Felicity out. “Oliver was happy to see you.”

Moira’s voice is shaky and she sounds like she’s about to cry. Which is a far cry from the woman Felicity is used to seeing, but then again, it’s been a hard 5 years for all of them.

“Hey, he’s back,” Tommy says, moving to give her a hug. “Let’s just focus on that. Everything else will come with time.”

Moira nods, patting Tommy on the hand in thanks when they pull apart. “Drive safe. These roads aren’t well lit at night.”

“I remember,” Tommy says with a smile. “Have a good night.”

Tommy walks her out of the room and back to the main entrance where a maid brings her her coat and purse. Felicity eyes the stairs.

“Do you think we should go check on him?” she asks. “He looked upset.”

“Just give him some time,” Tommy says. “I’m sure it’s hard being back after being away so long. We can talk to him some more tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” she says, knowing that he’s right even if the thought of leaving makes her heart hurt. Five years ago, it wouldn’t have even been a question. If Oliver was upset, she would have been up those stairs in a heartbeat. She would have been the only person that Oliver would have been willing to talk to.

****

“So…” Tommy says as they make their way back into the city towards their shared apartment downtown.

“So?” she asks, though she can tell by his tone of voice exactly what he’s about to ask her.

“So you and Oliver,” he says, giving her a knowing look.

“There is no me and Oliver,” she says, not wanting to talk about it, but knowing that Tommy won’t drop it.

The two of them have spent too many nights talking over bottles of wine. Tommy knows all about Oliver’s drunken confessions to her and how she’d refused to get on the Gambit with him. He knows that it’s one of Felicity’s biggest regrets. When she’d told Tommy about her feelings for Oliver, she’d said them under the impression that Oliver was gone forever. If she knew he was going to come back to them, she would have kept said feelings to herself. Tommy Merlyn is like an old lady at church that’s constantly butting into everyone’s business and trying to fix people’s problems. She knows that his line of questioning means Oliver and her have just become his next project.

“I watched that hug when he saw you for the first time.”

Felicity looks out the window so that Tommy won’t see her blushing. Oliver had held her rather tight, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything.

“He’s been gone for five years, Tommy,” she says, wishing he’d drop the subject. At least for the night. There’s too much going on in her head and too many emotions over Oliver being back that she can’t process everything that happened tonight. She wants some time to work through her feelings and Oliver’s actions for her before she has to discuss them with Tommy. “A lot has changed.”

“And one thing hasn’t changed even a little bit,” Tommy says with a smirk. “He still looks at you like you hung the moon.”

“My north star,” she whispers to herself.

It had been one of the last things Oliver ever said to her before he died. She still has that voicemail saved on her old phone that she’s never been able to get rid of. She still listens to it when she’s having a bad day.

Felicity isn’t completely naive. She’d seen Oliver’s glances at her over dinner. Hell, he’d even put his hand on her thigh. But she also doesn’t want to read too much into anything right now. He’s only just gotten back from years away. He’s changed, and she doesn’t even know yet how much. She’s changed. For all she knows, Oliver may not like the woman she’s become anymore. She can’t get lost in fantasies of them reuniting. Not yet. Not until she knows for sure where his head's at.

“Do you think he’s okay?” she asks, changing the subject. She still can’t get over the fact that he suddenly knows Russian, or the fact that his laugh had sounded forced when Tommy made a joke about the island.

“I don’t know,” Tommy says with a deep sigh. “I’m sure it’s not easy being back. But that’s what we’re here for, right? To help him get back to himself again?”

Tommy reaches out to take her hand over the center console. She allows herself to take comfort in the fact that he’s here with her right now, even though she’d rather be back at the mansion with Oliver.

“What do you think happened to him there?”

Tommy shakes his head. She’d asked him this question before, so she knows that Tommy hadn’t known much beyond what Moria told him about there being a lot of scarring. Still, she feels the desperate need to know exactly what Oliver went through and she doesn’t know who else to talk to about it. It’s clear that Oliver doesn’t want to talk about the island based on his reaction to Thea’s question at dinner.

“It’s not something I want to think too long about,” he says, shaking his head. “Because then I’ll have to feel guilty over not doing enough to find him… I’m sure that whatever happened, none of it was good.”

She nods, knowing that he’s right. “He needs time to get readjusted.”

Tommy nods. “We’ll help him.”

Felicity nods in agreement. If there’s one thing she’s always been good at, it’s helping Oliver. She couldn’t be with him the last 5 years to help, and that’s her fault for not getting on the Gambit with him, but she’ll be damned if she lets him go through anything else alone again.

****

Felicity sits at her desk, working through project proposals from her team when the text comes in.

From Tommy: He wants to see Laurel.

Felicity’s heart drops to her feet. She’s not sure why she’s surprised. After all, it makes sense, Oliver and Laurel had been dating when he’d boarded the Gambit. Hell, they’d been about to move in together. Of course he would want to see her. Why should she think that some drunken phone calls made to her would change any of that?

From Felicity: Well that’s not going to end well…

Felicity hasn’t been around Laurel often in the last 5 years. Laurel has never been a fan of her, and that feeling is mutual. However, with Tommy and her sleeping together, she’s fairly aware of all things Laurel. And from her impression, Laurel was none too pleased with Oliver’s decision to take her sister out on the Gambit — not that any reasonable woman would be. Felicity can't imagine she’ll be happy to see Oliver again.

Then again, their anger with each other always burned bright but died out fast...

She bites her lip and tries not to worry too much about it.

She attempts to return her focus to the files at her desk. She has plenty of work to do here without being distracted by Oliver’s fascination with Laurel. If he wants to run back into her arms, it’s not really any of her business. And if Laurel is going to pull a typical Laurel and take him back, what should she care? Oliver and her are just friends. She had her chance, and she didn’t take it.

She really shouldn’t care.

So why does she feel like she’s going to be sick.

From Tommy: Well, she didn’t slap him in the face… But she may as well have based on the way he’s looking. We’re coming to get you for lunch.

She rolls her eyes at Tommy’s text. They’d already had this discussion this morning and she’d informed him that she wasn’t available.

From Felicity: I told you that I was going to have to work through lunch if I wanted to get home in time for dinner tonight.

From Tommy: One of the benefits to my name being on the building you currently work at? I can steal you away whenever I want and nobody will question it. You can even call it a working lunch if you would like.

Felicity has to laugh at that.

From Felicity: Do you even know what a working lunch is? Have you ever worked a day in your life?

From Tommy: I’ve done plenty of hard work in my time, it just happens after hours in dark rooms with good booze ;)

We’re on our way. We’ll be there to get you in ten.

Felicity doesn’t bother protesting any more. She’s known Tommy long enough to know that no is not a word in his dictionary. Besides, she’s hungry and her best friend has just returned after 5 years of being lost at sea. She can afford to take a lunch break.

After all, she really should get Sanders to work through the project proposals instead. It is going to be his job in a month and he’s got to start training for it.

She packs up the folders and puts them back in her to do tray before grabbing her purse and heading downstairs to meet Tommy out front. The last thing she wants is for Tommy and Oliver to come upstairs to get her and make a spectacle. Oliver being back is big news and Felicity has fielded enough questions from her staff about his return without him showing up at the office.

She stands outside for fifteen minutes before she starts to get annoyed. The two of them are perpetually late for everything, but Tommy knows how much she hates it. She's yelled at him before for it. She can't take long off for lunches and he knows that.

Twenty five minutes of waiting and she sends him a text.

From Felicity:

If you're not here in five minutes I'm going back inside and eating without you two. Some of us have to work for a living.

When that doesn't earn her a witty reply back, she starts to wonder what it is exactly that they are doing. Tommy always texts back right away, even if he's driving.

At the thirty minute mark, she gets genuinely pissed off. Tommy had texted her to say they were on their way and CNRI is barely a 10 minute drive. She knows that the two of them can both be rather flaky, but had they seriously forgotten about her?

“I swear to god, Merlyn, you'd better be lying in a ditch somewhere,” she grumbles as she dials his number.

“Hello, this is Detective Hilton, who is this?”

Felicity’s heart leaps into her throat and she feels like she can't breathe. She'd only been joking. It's a saying… She didn't actually hope something had happened to Tommy. To either of them.

Oh god.

“Hello?” Hilton says.

“Where’s Tommy?” she asks, her voice shaking with fear.

“Tommy?” Hilton says. “Ma’am, there's been an incident. We are still trying to ID all parties involved. Can you tell me who's phone this is?”

The blood rushes to her ears and suddenly everything sounds a million miles away. The entire world freezes and she feels frozen in her place. This can't be happening. Not again.

What does an incident even mean? Is he dead?

Please, if there’s any mercy in the world, they cannot be dead. She can’t lose them.

A man pushes into her on the street and it causes everything to come screaming back into focus. The sounds of people walking past, the cars on the street, the Evangelist on the corner lecturing about sin. It's overwhelming, but she has to focus. Her boys need her right now. She instantly begins looking around, like they will suddenly appear in front of her.

“Ma’am?” Hilton says.

“Tommy Merlyn,” she responds suddenly. “He was with Oliver Queen. Please tell me they are okay.”

“They’re not here,” Hilton says. “There's a car registered to Malcolm Merlyn. Silver sports car?”

“That's Tommy’s car. Where are they?” Felicity asks. Her mind is going a hundred miles a minute trying to figure out what to do. How is she supposed to help them if she doesn't even know what happened.

“The car belongs to Tommy Merlyn, he was with Oliver Queen,” Hilton shouts out to somebody in the background.

“Queen? You don't think this was a kidnapping do you?” a voice in the background says.

“Kidnapping?” Felicity asks.

“I need to go. Thank you for your help,” Hilton says before hanging up on her.

Her knees give out on her and she stumbles backwards. She collides with the building and slides down until she's sitting on the pavement. She can’t breathe. Her entire body is shaking.

Tommy and Oliver have been kidnapped. She's not even sure how it's possible. They've already gone through this, in Hong Kong. How can this be happening again? She only just got Oliver back.

She takes a deep breath and counts slowly backwards from ten like her therapist taught her to do back when she was having more regular panic attacks. When she's done, she still feels panicked, but it's manageable. And she needs manageable because her boys need her right now.

She pulls her tablet out of her purse and immediately starts hacking into traffic cameras, trying to figure out if she can determine who took them. As she hacks away, she runs back inside to her office. She's going to need more juice than her tablet can manage if she's going to run facial recognition.

She’ll be damned if she lets something happen to either of them. Not again.

****

It’s several hours later when Felicity rushes past Raisa and follows the sound of voices to the sitting room where, thankfully, Oliver and Tommy are.

“Oh thank god,” she says.

Both boys stand up and she runs straight into Tommy’s arms, squeezing him tight.

“We’re okay,” he says, rubbing her back.

She lets go of him and pulls Oliver into an equally tight hug.

“I kept having flashes of you being kidnapped in Hong Kong,” Felicity tells Tommy when she steps back. “I was so worried.”

Oliver tenses up at her words, but she brushes it off as a reaction to her bringing up the word kidnapping.

“I thought I lost you again,” she says, reaching out to put her hands on both her boy’s arms to reassure herself that they really are here. They are both okay. Those men in those creepy masks didn’t kill them. She can breathe again.

“I’m right here,” Oliver says with a kind smile.

“You’re not hurt?” she asks, checking them both over for injuries.

“We’re alright,” Tommy says. “Take a breath, Smoak.”

“Smoak? Felicity Smoak?” Lance’s partner, Detective Hilton she’s pretty sure, steps up. “You’re the girl from the phone.”

“Yeah,” she says. “Thank you for finding them.”

Detective Lance laughs at that, causing all eyes in the room to look his way.

“We didn’t find them,” Lance says in the sarcastic tone he has reserved specifically for Tommy over the last five years. Now that Oliver is back, she can only imagine how bad he’ll get it from Lance. In fact, she’s surprised he’s even allowed to work this case.

“Apparently they got rescued by some man in a green hood,” Lance says.

“What?” Felicity says, utterly confused. “What do you mean you were rescued by a man in a green hood?”

Felicity looks first to Tommy who shrugs, and she can tell he doesn’t really know much but it’s Oliver’s reaction that catches her eye. He’s completely calm.

Too calm, she thinks.

They’d just been drugged and kidnapped by several men in masks holding military grade guns. She’d seen the video from the traffic cam she’d hacked into. How isn’t he more freaked out about this?

“We were kidnapped. A man in a green hood showed up and took care of it,” he says, like it’s not a big deal. “Are we about done here?” Oliver asks.

Took care of it. It’s an odd turn of phrase to use when discussing your own life threatening event isn’t it? You take care of a hang nail. If it’s 1920s Chicago, a mob boss might take care of a nark or something. This mystery man in the green hood didn’t ‘take care of it,’ he saved their lives.

Felicity narrows her eyes and studies Oliver, trying to figure out why it is that he can have such little reaction to what happened. She’d like to believe that experiencing one life threatening event doesn’t make additional life threatening events irrelevant.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Lance says with a self-satisfied smirk. “One day back and already somebody’s gunning for you? Aren’t you popular?”

Felicity’s attention moves to Lance and she instantly shifts into Momma Bear mode. She crosses her arms and moves to stand in front of Oliver and Tommy. Lance has always been an ass, but it’s been understandable. After all, his daughter died after sneaking off with Oliver. Lance blames the Queens — and by extension, Tommy — for her death. But this is crossing the line. Oliver and Tommy had just been kidnapped. They could have died. Yet here he is revealing in it and she’s not going to stand for it.

“Were you able to identify the men?” Moira asks, looking to Detective Hilton for answers, since all they’re getting out of Lance are more condescending remarks.

“Scrubbed identities. Untraceable weapons,” Hilton says. “These were pros.”

Tommy catches her eye and he doesn’t have to say anything. She nods her head slightly. Untraceable weapons and scrubbed identities or not, she’s in the process of figuring out who this was. Nobody threatens her family and gets away with it. As soon as the detectives leave, she’ll get back to work.

“Yeah. Well, they probably figured you’d pay a king’s ransom to get your boy back. Or a Queen’s ransom as it were,” Lance says.

“Excuse you?” Felicity says taking a step towards him, but Oliver reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder and hold her back.

“It’s fine,” Oliver says.

“I don’t find your tone appropriate, Detective,” Moira says, remaining as composed as ever, but Felicity knows that tone of voice well. Moria isn’t a woman to be messed with.

“If Oliver can think of anything else, he’ll be in touch. Thank you, gentlemen, for coming,” Walter says, effectively breaking up the tension in the room and ending the conversation.

Lance chuckles as he gathers his things and it’s only Oliver’s hand on her shoulder that keeps her from lashing out in rage.

“You’re luck never seems to run out, does it?” Lance says, sizing Oliver up for several long seconds before finally allowing Raisa to escort them out of the house.

“Luck?” Felicity scoffs.

“‘Lis, don’t,” Tommy says with a warning tone.

“No. He’s been harassing you for years, and I’ve let it go because we all know he’s grieving for Sara, but the two of you were just kidnapped and he wants to talk about luck? There’s nothing lucky about what just happened or what Oliver went through.”

“She’s right,” Moira says, shocking everyone in the room, nobody more than Felicity.

“Just let it go,” Oliver says.

“He has no right to talk to you like that,” Moira says.

“I killed his daughter,” Oliver says solemnly. “He can talk to me however he wants.”

And with that, Oliver walks out of the room without another backwards glance, leaving them all speechless and her to wonder, once again, what exactly happened to him on that island.

****

“We are not watching Criminal Minds,” Felicity groans at the opening theme music playing on the TV.

“It’s Wednesday night. We always watch Criminal Minds,” Tommy says, carrying their takeout over to the coffee table where she’s set up her workstation. She’s been working like crazy trying to find out who the men that kidnapped Oliver and Tommy are and who the mysterious man in the green hood is.

“Do you see me here?” she says. “Our life just became an episode of Criminal Minds. Do you really want to watch a show about serial killers when you almost died today?”

“‘Lis, look at me,” he says.

She refuses to meet his eyes until he sits down next to her and takes her hands off her laptop and into his own.

“I’m okay,” he says. “I already told you. Ollie’s fine, too.”

She takes a minute to let his words sink in, examining him closely for any sign that he’s lying. When she finds none, she sighs and turns back to her computers.

“I just think we could stand to watch something lighter tonight,” she says. “Like Supernatural. Or X-Factor.”

“You hate X-Factor,” Tommy says, pouring her a generous glass of wine.

“I do hate X-Factor,” she agrees.

Tommy laughs and picks up the remote to turn up the volume on Criminal Minds as it comes back from commercial. Halfway through the episode, Felicity has finished off two glasses of wine and fairly certain she’s already figured out who the TV murder is when there’s a knock at the door.

“Did you order more food?” Tommy asks, giving her an incredulous look. They still have several unfinished boxes of Chinese food left.

She shakes her head and Tommy raises his eyebrow at her like he doesn’t believe her.

“I swear,” she says holding up her pinkie. “Though I wouldn’t say no to a lava cake right now… You know, your dad never checked on you. Maybe he’s here to make sure you’re alright.”

Tommy laughs at that. “Yeah. Good one. I’m sure that’s it.”

He opens the door and Felicity squeaks when she sees Oliver on the other side.

“Hey buddy, I didn't think you were still coming.”

“Is that okay?” he asks, hands shoved in his pockets awkwardly. It’s a weird look on him. He’s never been awkward around either of them, but then again, none of them have ever gone 5 years without seeing him.

Felicity looks down at her worn out pajamas. There’s a coffee stain on her tank top and a hole in the knee of her pants. If she’d known Oliver was coming over, she wouldn’t have changed out of her dress, but it would be weird if she went and changed now that he’s already seen her. She runs her hands through her hair through, trying to make sure her curls aren’t took out of control. Damn her for forgetting to put a hair tie on her wrist.

“You’re always welcome here,” Tommy says, opening the door wide for him to step inside. “Felicity ordered enough food to feed a small army.”

“She always does,” Oliver says with a smile in her direction that causes her to blush.

“So what were you guys doing?” he asks.

“Well I’m relaxing and watching TV,” Tommy says. “Felicity is trying to play Nancy Drew.”

Oliver comes into the room and looks at her setup. “What exactly are you Nancy Drew-ing?”

Felicity looks up from her screen. “I’m trying to find the men that took you. And the man in the green hood.”

“Isn’t that a job for the police?” Oliver asks, and she can see him tense up. It’s subtle, but she notices. It’s interesting for him to tense up now, since he wasn’t tense at all talking to the police about the ordeal. Maybe everything that happened is finally hitting him now that the adrenaline has worn off.

“Well I didn’t get the impression that Detective Lance was going to give it his best, did you?” she asks. “Besides, I hate mysteries.”

“She says as we watch Criminal Minds,” Tommy says.

“This show isn’t a mystery,” she explains. “I solve most of the episodes within the first fifteen minutes.”

“I thought you hated this show.” Oliver gives her a weird look. “You said it freaked you out.”

Felicity shrugs. She doesn’t want to explain that she’d only started watching the show after he went missing. That a part of her thought if she could figure out how the FBI finds people who go missing, she could use those same skills to track Oliver.

Well, she’s gotten incredibly good at figuring out the bad guy before the BAU does on the show, and she can come up with a mean profile, but she hadn’t been talented enough to find Oliver on Lian Yu. And she still hasn’t found the men that kidnapped her boys today, so she probably shouldn’t apply for the FBI just yet.

“I decided I liked it,” Felicity says when Oliver won’t stop staring at her.

“Sit down,” Tommy says, handing Oliver a glass of wine. “Stay awhile.”

Oliver takes a seat on the couch next to her and reaches over to close her laptop.

“I was working,” she says, indignant.

“Well stop,” he says, his voice more commanding than she’s ever heard it.

“You don’t want to know who took you? Or who the man was that saved you?” she asks.

“I don’t want you looking into things that could get you hurt,” he responds, and there’s something in his eyes that she’s never seen before. A darkness that wasn’t there.

“It’s not like they are going to kidnap me for ransom,” she says. “You’re the billionaires.”

“Just promise me you’ll let it go,” he says.

Felicity looks to Tommy for support.

“He’s probably right,” Tommy says with an apologetic smile. “You should let the police handle it.”

“Whatever,” she says, though she has zero plans to actually drop it.

She crosses her arms as she sinks back into the couch to finish watching the episode. Oliver and Tommy chat about the Rockets during the commercial breaks, but Felicity stays silent. She’s never been a big sports fan, and she’s too busy trying to figure out the new mystery before her. Oliver.

She’s not going to lie. The look in his eyes earlier kind of scares her. She’s never seen him look at her with anything other than kindness and compassion. To think that something happened to him to destroy that makes her nervous.

At the end of the episode, Tommy takes their dishes and leftovers into the kitchen, leaving Oliver and her alone.

“Felicity,” Oliver says, reaching out to put his hand on her leg.

“Hm?” she says, looking up from where she’d been studiously picking at the hole in her pants.

“You know that I just don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, right?” he says. “I wasn’t trying to be an ass.”

Felicity shifts on the sofa so that she’s facing him head on and takes a deep breath, preparing herself for this conversation.

“You were gone for five years, and try as I might, I couldn’t do anything about that,” she says. “Then about two years ago, Tommy was kidnapped in Hong Kong, and I couldn’t do anything about that . So imagine my terror when I found out that you’d been taken again today. And imagine how terrified I am that you might be taken again. I just need to know that the men that did this to you won’t come back.”

“They won’t,” Oliver says. “They’re dead. The man in the hood took care of them.”

There it is again. That phrase. He’s being too nonchalant about the entire thing and that phrase is really bothering her but she can’t put her finger on why.

“And what about whoever hired them?” she asks.

“What do you mean?”

Felicity turns back on her computer and shows him what she’d found. “Somebody paid those men to take you. I just can’t figure out who.”

“Felicity.” Oliver takes the laptop out of her hands and places it on the table behind him out of her reach. “I can appreciate that you want to protect us. But I’m telling you to leave it alone.”

Felicity scoffs at that and Oliver immediately realizes his mistake.

“I’m asking you to leave it alone.”

Felicity still glares at him. Asking or not, it’s ridiculous for him to think she’ll let this go when she is more than capable of finding the people responsible for this. Doesn’t he want to know who took him?

“How can you ask me to do that?”

“Because I watched my father and Sara die on that boat and I thought I was going to have to watch them kill Tommy today… I’m still trying to figure out how my life works now that I’m back. I can’t have something happen to you. I’ve been around enough tragedy for one lifetime. So please, for once in your life, do as I ask and drop this.”

Felicity doesn’t want to, but she can’t say no to him when he’s looking at her with tears in his eyes. So she relents.

“Okay,” she says, reaching out to take Oliver’s hand in her own and give him a supportive squeeze.

She can’t imagine what he’s been through. She knows how traumatized she would be if she had to live on an island all alone for 5 years, but to have also had to watch his father and Sara die? It’s no wonder he’s different. He’s experienced real tragedy and that leaves a mark. His memories will forever be tainted with darkness.

Felicity gets why Tommy says he doesn’t want to know what happened to Oliver. He’s just let one single detail slip and already she wants to wrap him in a blanket and never let him go.

“You’ll really stop looking into this?” he asks, not quite believing her.

“I promise,” she says.

Oliver smiles at that and pulls on her until she’s falling into his open arms.

“Good. Can I tell you one thing that I’ve really missed?” he asks.

“Lava cake? We could order some,” Felicity says innocently and she can hear Tommy snort from the kitchen.

“Our lazy Sundays on the couch together,” he says with a warm smile.

She can’t help but smile back at him and cuddle into his side, relishing the feeling of home and safety that she never thought she’d feel again.

“Yeah,” she hums as he begins to run his fingers through her hair. “But also, lava cake.”

“Relax, Smoak,” Tommy says, emerging from the kitchen. “I already put in an order for us.”

“You did?” she asks, getting excited.

“I figured if I put the order in, you wouldn’t end up buying out the entire bakery,” he says.

“Well at least that hasn’t changed about you,” Oliver says. “You’ve always had a dangerous sweet tooth.”

She pulls back to look him in the eyes. “Does it seem like we’ve changed a lot?” she asks.

“It’s been five years,” Oliver says with a bittersweet smile. “It was bound to happen.”

Felicity hates the fact that he’s lost so much time. That they all have. It’s not fair. Oliver never deserved that.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“Don’t be sorry,” he says. “I’m home, that’s all that matters.”

He kisses the top of her head before turning back to the TV and asking Tommy what movie they are going to put in. They decide on Inception and settle in to watch. Felicity manages to make it til the lava cakes arrive before the excitement of the day finally hits her and she falls asleep with her head in Oliver’s lap.

She wakes up sometime later to Oliver tucking her into bed and kissing her on the forehead.

“I’ll see you later,” he says with a smile. “Sleep well.”

“Be safe,” she says before falling back asleep.

She dreams of the Gambit that night. The first time she’s had that dream in over a year. She dreams of a giant storm that has Oliver washing overboard. Only this time, instead of her being frozen on the boat as everyone around her dies, she watches as Oliver cries out for his father and Sara. She watches as he sobs over being unable to save them as they drown and he’s left clinging to a broken piece of the ship as struggles to stay afloat in the storm.

The look of pure agony on his face has her waking up in a cold sweat.

The horrors Oliver has to have seen have her crying into her pillow unable to get back to sleep.

****

“He wants to have his party where?” Felicity asks Tommy the next day as she talks to him over the phone.

“At the convention center. He’s insisting on it actually.”

Felicity scoffs at that. “How many people is he inviting?”

“If he wants to rent out the convention center, I’m thinking the entire city,” Tommy says.

“Do they even do parties there? It’s not exactly a club,” Felicity says as she hands off the pile of contracts to Christine for delivery.

“Ye of little faith,” he says, pretending to sound hurt. “Who are you talking to here? After I finish working my magic, it will be the place to be.”

“Can’t wait,” she says sarcastically.

It’s not that she doesn’t ever go out. She’s been best friends with Oliver Queen her entire life and Tommy Merlyn’s roommate for the last four years. She’s been to her fair share of parties. Big events like this just aren’t her thing. She prefers smaller venues with private rooms. Otherwise, she finds that people get distracted, lost in the crowd, and she ends up sitting alone at the bar all night fending off handsy strangers.

“I hope you realize that attendance is not optional at this party,” Tommy says.

“Despite my better judgement, I will be there,” she says.

“Do you think I should invite Laurel?” he asks, sounding nervous.

Felicity wants so badly to say no. That Laurel shouldn’t be anywhere near that party. But it’s clear from Oliver’s visit with her yesterday that he intends to keep Laurel in his life. As much as that idea makes her want to vomit, she knows it must be worse for Tommy.

“Are you going to tell him about you two?” she asks.

“There’s nothing to tell,” he says. “We aren’t dating.”

Felicity rolls her eyes as she sits back down at her desk and pulls up her emails, trying to figure out how much more work she has before she can head home for the day.

“Is that so?”

“We’ve hooked up a few times,” Tommy says.

“Right,” she agrees, knowing that it’s total bullshit. They’ve done more than just hook up. Tommy doesn’t make breakfast for any of the other girls he brings home. He likes her.

“It would only upset him,” he says, and she can hear in his voice how hard this is for him. “Besides, it’s not going to happen again.”

“I think I’ve heard that before,” she says, responding to several emails before exiting out of the program and signing off. She’s done enough work for the day. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.

“You’re not going to tell him, are you?”

“It’s not my secret to tell,” she reminds him, packing up her purse.

“Good... He wouldn’t understand why it happened.”

“Why did it happen?” she asks. She’s never gotten a straight answer from him about it. It’s something she’s always wondered.

“I was lonely, I missed my friend, and she was there. She gave me something to lose myself in that wasn’t drugs.”

“Oh Tommy…”

Felicity doesn’t know what to say to that. She’s watched him struggle for the last several years to get clean and sober and it’s only been in the last year that he’s been able to stay clean. She hadn’t realized that he attributed that change to Laurel. Maybe Tommy and Laurel are a lot more serious than she’d previously thought.

And maybe Laurel is better for Tommy than she ever was for Oliver.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says, trying to write it off like his confession wasn’t a big deal. “She doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

“She always says that,” she tries to reassure him. He sounds genuinely upset. She wonders if this is a recent revelation and if it is, how she’d missed it.

“She means it this time. With Oliver back, it’s bringing back old wounds for her and she told me she doesn’t want to see me anymore,” he says, and if she didn’t know any better she would say he was about to cry.

“That’s going to be difficult considering you all share the same friends,” she points out. When he doesn’t respond, she decides to try a softer approach. “Tommy, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. You guys have too many years between you to leave things this way. If she’s really that special to you, then have faith. She’ll come around.”

“She’s Oliver’s ex-girlfriend,” Tommy says. “Even if that is true, we can’t continue this.”

Felicity sighs. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to say to that. She could bring up the fact that Oliver and Laurel weren’t good together. That when Laurel asked him to move in with her, Oliver literally ran away with her sister. But they both know how little that means. Oliver and Laurel are like magnets. No matter what happens, somehow they always gravitate back to each other.

“I’ll pick you up something stronger than wine on my way home,” she promises.

“Tequila please,” he says. “And not that crappy kind you usually get. The good stuff.”

“Fine,” she says. “But I’m taking it out of my rent this month.”

“Somehow, I think I’ll survive,” he says.

They say their goodbyes and she heads out the door. She walks down the street to the high end liquor store to pick up Tommy’s tequila. She then hits up her favorite mini mart to stock up on some red vines and chocolate. And that’s when she sees the news report.

Adam Hunt, the CEO of Hunt Multinational and overall douchebag, was attacked. Several of his bodyguards are in the hospital after being shot with arrows.

“Can you believe that?” Marty, the owner of the mini mart, says as he checks her out. “Arrows. Looks like this city has a Robin Hood on its hands.”

Felicity laughs with him. “I don’t know why. Archery looks utterly ridiculous to me.”

“Yeah,” the man says as he bags her items. “Either way, I’d say that man did the city a public service. Adam Hunt is a thief.”

“I’m sure he’s much more than a thief,” she responds. “Not that anyone can pin anything on him. Have a good night.”

“You, too. Be safe out there,” he says.

“I’ll do my best to avoid Robin Hood,” she says, waving as she steps out of the mini mart and makes her way back to the parking garage to get her car.

Robin Hood.

Felicity stops in her tracks as she puts the pieces together.

The same man that rescued Tommy and Oliver yesterday just attacked Adam Hunt.

Marty might be right. Starling City has it’s own vigilante.

****

Felicity looks out the window as she helps Tommy setup for the party that afternoon and the logo of Hunt Multinational catches her eye. She’s not on this side of town often, so she didn’t realize how close the convention center is to Hunt’s building. She isn’t sure why it matters, but it feels important.

“What are we looking at?” Tommy asks coming to stand beside her.

“Did you know Adam Hunt was attacked last night by the man in the green hood?”

“The hood guy?” he asks, giving her a peculiar look. “Where did you hear that?”

“It was on the news last night… And I might have checked out some more information on the SCPD’s website,” she admits.

“You know one of these days, you’re going to end up getting caught and thrown in jail,” he says. “And we’ve been through this, there are better ways to try out your handcuff fetish.”

“Your lack of confidence in my abilities hurts,” she says. “If I’m going to get caught, it won’t be by the SCPD who barely understand how to work a firewall.”

“I don’t even know what a firewall is,” he says. “Now come help me get this staff in line. We’ve got 6 hours to turn this into the most epic party that’s ever been seen.”

Felicity nods her head and gets back to work, putting all thoughts of Adam Hunt and The Hood out of her mind for now so she can focus on making this party everything Oliver wants it to be.

****

Felicity stands in front of her closet in her underwear cursing her life. She’d bought a gold dress specifically for this event, but now that she’d put it on, she hates it. It’s not good enough. She looks like she’s trying too hard and it’s not flattering.

Maybe she shouldn’t have had Tommy order the lava cake this week.

She stares at herself in the mirror and frowns at the extra fat around her waist that she’s never been able to get rid of. Well… that’s a lie. She probably could get rid of it, but she’s addicted to food and allergic to exercise. Normally, she doesn’t spend a lot of time obsessing over her body. However, with Oliver back, she’s been taking note of every single change her body has gone through in the last 5 years and she’s feeling incredibly self-conscious.

Laurel doesn’t have an ounce of fat on her. She’s tall, skinny, and has curves exactly where the boys want them. Laurel doesn’t have thick thighs or a soft tummy. Felicity doesn’t know how to compete with that.

It’s actually laughable to even call it a competition.

“Maybe I should go with pants,” she says.

She pulls at the extra skin on her arms.

“And a parka.”

Not that it matters, she laughs at herself for turning into such a stereotypical girl. Oliver won’t be looking her direction when there will be hundreds of women throwing themselves at him.

She’s better than this, she reminds herself. She’s Felicity Smoak, MIT class of 2009. She’s smart, successful, and funny — unintentionally so, but the fact still stands.

She turns back to her closet and pulls out a dress, determined not to let herself fall into the trap where she’s dressing to impress a boy. She pulls the purple dress on and looks in the mirror and instantly groans. She looks like Violet Beauregarde. She strips the dress off and debates telling Tommy that she can’t make it. She’s got several episodes of Sons of Anarchy to catch up on anyways…

There’s a knock on her door. “Are you almost ready?” Tommy asks through the door.

She looks down at herself and laughs. Hardly.

“I’ll meet you there,” she calls after him, knowing that canceling isn’t an option.

“Nope, not today, Smoak,” he says. He walks into her room without waiting for permission.

“Tommy!” she yells, her hands instantly moving to cover her body, but there’s only so much she can do.

He ignores her, like always and begins digging in the back of her closet. He’s never had any sense of boundaries. And really, it’s not like he hasn’t seen it all before anyways. There had been plenty of bad days that first year that Oliver left where she could barely get herself dressed and Tommy was always there to help her into her pajamas at night and stay with her while she cried herself to sleep.

Even now, he comes into her room often enough to try and force her along. He has no patience for the female process.

“Can I help you with something?” she asks, finally dropping her hands when she realizes that he hasn’t looked her direction even once.

“Wear this,” he says, pulling a little black dress out from the back of her closet. She hasn’t seen the dress in almost two years. Not since she’d worn it for Tommy’s birthday party. He’d convinced her to buy it, but she’d felt self conscious in it so she’d never worn it again after that night.

“What are you—”

“You’re welcome,” he interrupts her with a smile. “Now put it on and let’s go. There’s fashionably late, and then there’s just obnoxiously late. We at least need to be there before Oliver.”

“Fine,” she relents. She knows that Tommy would never steer her wrong. He’s always incredibly honest about her fashion choices. He’s the reason that she’s switched from button ups and pencil skirts to designer dresses.

‘If you want people to take you seriously, you need to stop dressing like a high schooler trying to play business woman,’ he’d told her. And as much as she hates to admit it, he’d been right. After she’d changed her style, her co-workers started taking her more seriously and the promotions started coming.

Anything Tommy picks out for her will achieve the goal she’s been searching for: She wants Oliver to see that she’s not the confused girl he left five years ago. The last time he saw her she was a complete wreck. She could barely function and she needs him to know that’s not her anymore. She’s grown up. She’s about the become the head of R&D. She’s changed. She knows who she is now. And she wants him to see that. It feels important.

“You can leave now,” she says when he makes no move to go wait outside.

“No,” he says. “I know how girls work. If I give you the space, you’ll spend the next thirty minutes trying on five more dresses. We don’t have time for it today.”

“You should probably work on your manners if you ever want a serious girlfriend,” Felicity says as she steps into her dress.

“Well lucky for us the only girl I would have considered a relationship with doesn’t want me,” he jokes, but she can tell he doesn’t find it funny. “Loose the bra.”

“Excuse me?” she says. She’s never quite gotten used to how straightforward he is.

“You can’t wear a bra in that dress,” he says matter of factly. “Lose the bra then I’ll zip you up.”

“I swear to god you only doing this so you can cop a feel,” she glares at him, but takes her bra off under the dress.

“You’ve found me out,” he deadpans. “Now I’ll have to come up with a new ruse.”

She turns around so her back is to him and he zips her up. When she turns back around, he whistles in appreciation.

“Much better,” Tommy says. “Ollie won’t know what hit him.”

“I’m not dressing up for Oliver,” she lies, not sure why she even bothers. Tommy will always see right through her.

“Sure you’re not,” he says. “You were just standing here refusing to get dressed because you’re trying to impress Mr. Hampton downstairs.”

Mr. Hampton is the doorman of their building. Tommy always jokes about him because he’s completely smitten with Felicity. Probably because she’s always willing to bring him a coffee and listen to his long winded stories about the war. He’s also 84 years old.

“Well Oliver is going to be busy making heart eyes at Laurel so it really doesn’t matter,” she reminds him, stepping into her heels before grabbing her purse and following him out the door.

“If he’s too stupid to take you home tonight, I sure will,” Tommy teases. “Because that dress deserves to get laid.”

“Just the dress?” she laughs.

“I guess the girl in the dress is alright,” he says with a wink.

****

Felicity is at the bar making best friends with the bartender so that he’ll keep her drink full the entire night without having to fight her way through the crowd. She’s also purposefully taking a break from Tommy who is in full playboy mode and has surrounded himself with several women, all of whom look more than willing to take him to a private corner and have their way with him. She sincerely hopes that she doesn’t have to listen to his stories of an orgy tomorrow morning. Tommy can get a little over the top when he’s trying to mask his pain, and Laurel calling it off with him has hit him harder than she expected it to.

The music cuts out and she turns to see what’s going on. Tommy is at the stairs with Oliver as everyone cheers.

“Well those two are in full force,” she says to herself as she throws back the rest of her drink. If they are both going to be full on frat boys tonight, she’s going to need a lot more wine. She barely did the college thing when she was in college. She enjoys partying with her friends most nights, but dealing with Tommy and Oliver when they are like this is never fun. They feed off one another and it’s like they constantly try to out douche each other. It’s hardly their most attractive look.

Queen starts to play and she rolls her eyes and laughs to herself. At least some things never change. She turns back to the bar when she notices Oliver getting surrounded by girls in skin tight dresses. There are some things she’s happier not to witness.

A shot is put in front of her by the bartender with a wink. “Smile. Only two more hours before it’s socially appropriate to call it a night.”

Felicity snorts. “Clearly you’ve never met my roommate. He won’t let me leave anytime before closing.”

“You can always tell him you met a cute boy and you’re going back to his place. I’d fill that role if he needs proof,” he says with a wink.

“Smooth,” she says. “Keep that expensive wine coming and maybe we can talk.”

She has no intention of going home with him tonight, but she’s learned a few useful skills from Tommy over the years. One of which is how to easily get out of awkward situations without making anyone upset. He felt it was a valuable skill for her to learn after he ended up with a black eye fighting for her honor at a club one night.

A hand at her back has her ready to slap somebody when a familiar voice says into her ear, “Who let you out of the house in this?”

She smiles. She’s not sure she’ll ever stop feeling relieved to hear Oliver’s voice. The pain of losing him is something that she’s never going to forget.

“You can blame your other best friend for this,” she says, turning around to face him. “I originally planned for something with far less cutouts.”

She waits for him to complain about it like he always used to. He hates it when she wears anything tight or revealing. He always gets over protective and shifts into big brother mode. And lord knows he can’t enjoy himself is he’s too busy making sure that the boys keep their hands to themselves. She likes to lie to herself and say it’s because he’s jealous, but she refuses to get her hopes up tonight. Not when she’s already spotted Laurel. Even if Oliver hasn’t seen her yet, she knows it’s just a matter of time.

“I’ll be sure to write him a nice thank you card,” Oliver says, shifting his hand so it’s against her bare back. She instantly feels warm all over and starts to blush at the way he’s looking down at her. She thinks that he’s pulling her close to kiss her, but she soon finds out that he’s just pulling her out of the way of a girl trying to get to the bar.

Of course.

“Seeing you in black brings back memories,” he says.

Felicity rolls her eyes and she pictures her goth days. It’s not something she’s overly proud of, looking back. She was trying too hard to rebel and it wasn’t really her. Not the her she wants to be. The woman she is now? It feels more natural.

“Can we not talk about my horrible fashion choices?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I thought you were beautiful back then. Of course, you’re even more gorgeous now, but that’s not surprising.”

Felicity blushes at the compliment. Oliver’s always been kind to her and overflowing with nice things to say, but he’s never been quite so complimentary before.

“Thanks,” she says. “Puberty had to come sooner or later.”

“Well you grew up nice,” he says. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“It’s an open bar,” she points out, amused.

“Well in that case, can Tommy buy us both a drink?” he asks with a smile.

When he’s staring down at her like he is now, it’s easy to forget that they are in the middle of a crowded party. It’s easy to tune out the loud music and hustle and bustle that surrounds them. The world becomes just the two of them and it’s easy to pretend that this is the way things could always be. It’s easy to convince herself that maybe he had gotten her message. That maybe he does know she loves him and he still loves her back.

Maybe they hadn’t missed their moment.

Oliver looks over her shoulder and suddenly frowns. “Back in a minute.”

Without waiting for a reply from her, he walks away. She follows him with her eyes until she sees him pulling Thea by the arm. She doesn’t have to hear their conversation to know what it’s about. Thea has been sneaking into clubs and parties for a few years now. Everyone is well aware of her drug problem, but nobody has been able to get her to stop. Felicity had hoped that Oliver coming back would mean Thea could finally get clean, but if her showing up tonight is any indication, that won’t be happening.

“I explicitly told her she wasn’t invited,” Tommy says, stepping up next to her.

“Which probably just made coming that much more tempting,” she says, giving him a knowing look.

“So what were you and Ollie talking about?” he asks, raising his hand to signal that they’d like another round.

“Nothing really,” she says, ignoring the look Tommy gives her.

“He has been watching you from the moment he stepped into the building,” he says, knocking shoulders with her. “Please promise me you’ll tell him how you feel so we won’t have to do this dance for 9 more seasons. This slow burn has gone on long enough.”

“Slow burn?”

“It’s a term Thea taught me. It means—”

“I know what it means,” she cuts him off.

“Tell him,” Tommy says. “Trust me when I say, he’ll be open to it.”

He’s probably right. If the way he was talking to her tonight is any indication, he’s not acting like he’s over her. She waited to tell him she loved him before and it ended up being her biggest regret. She shouldn’t wait any longer. If she’s learned anything in her life, it’s that time isn’t limitless.

She nods and turns to see if he’s still talking to Thea and her stomach drops to her toes. He’s talking with Laurel. She bites her lip as she watches Oliver lead Laurel out of the room.

“You were saying?” Felicity says and she watches as Tommy downs both his and her drinks.

“She can have him,” he says before walking away and into a group of women with his fake smile. “Ladies!”

“Still looking for an excuse to get out of here?” the bartender asks her as he places another drink in front of her.

Felicity looks to where Oliver has just left with Laurel and she’s tempted to do what Tommy’s doing. To accept the cute bartenders offer and go have meaningless sex. Go try and erase the image of Oliver from her fantasies and see if it can cover up the horrible twisting feeling in her stomach. But then she looks towards Tommy and she knows she can’t leave. Somebody needs to make sure that he sticks to his sobriety and doesn’t take anything tonight. He’s worked too hard to lose it now.

“Like I said, I’m here until closing,” she says.

****

Felicity grabs Tommy’s arm as he heads towards a back corner of the party where she knows people have been going to do lines of coke.

“What’s up?” he says. “I was just going to hit the head.”

“Walk with me,” she says, pulling on his arm. “The line to the girl’s room is super long but I hear there’s another bathroom in Hall H that’s open.”

“I know what you’re doing; you’re not that sneaky,” he says as she leads him through the crowd of people.

“And what am I doing?” she asks innocently enough.

“You’re babysitting me,” he says. “I’m not going to fall off the wagon. I just needed the bathroom.”

“Great!” she says with a wide smile. “So you won’t mind walking me to Hall H. After all, I shouldn’t be wandering these halls by myself, right?”

“Curious how you only play the damsel in distress card when it’s convenient for you,” he says as they make it out the door and into the much quieter hallway.

“Well I only play it because you have a white knight complex,” she says.

“Nope, that would be Oliver,” Tommy argues. “I’m much more of a dark knight.”

“If you say so, Batman,” she says as they walk hand in hand towards the other end of the convention center. She tries very hard to keep her eyes forward as she knows exactly what kind of things go on in dark corners and hidden alleys at the parties that Tommy throws.

“I can’t believe she left with him so quickly,” Tommy says. “You know he’s not back yet, right? That means they’re fucking. They always left parties to go fuck. I wouldn’t be surprised if we caught them somewhere out here.”

Felicity stops walking immediately. The very last thing she wants to walk into is Oliver and Laurel going at it.

“Thank you for that,” she grumbles.

“I don’t get it,” Tommy says, pulling on her until she starts walking again. “He was staring at your ass all night. Then Laurel shows up and bam? I don’t understand. I mean, that dress makes your ass look fantastic.”

Felicity is impressed. Her word vomit is clearly rubbing off on Tommy. That and he’s three sheets to the wind. She needs to get some coffee in him and help him sober up or he’s bound to do something stupid and end up getting arrested. Again.

“He should have never looked at her twice,” Tommy grumbles.

His words sink in and her jaw drops as she realizes what he’s saying.

“Tommy Merlyn, did you get me to wear this dress so that Laurel and Oliver wouldn’t hook up?” she asks, feeling dirty all of a sudden. What did he think she was? Some sex toy to wave in Oliver’s face as a distraction? That’s not like Tommy.

“Well it failed,” he says. “So now we’re both miserable.”

“Tommy,” she says seriously, pulling on his arm to get him to stop walking and look at her so he can see she’s not amused.

“I was trying to help you both out. I know how much you love him and I’m telling you that he wants you, too. I didn’t make that up, it’s true. If pushing the two of you together also happened to help me, then great.”

Felicity doesn’t know what to say to that. She’s angry, but she’s not sure if it’s more that Tommy tried to get Oliver and her together or the fact that it didn’t work.

She’s not this kind of girl. She doesn’t cry over whether boys like her or not. She’s smarter than that. And yet, here she is feeling like she wants to curl up in a ball and eat several pints of mint chocolate chip until it doesn’t feel like the world is caving in.

For five years, she’s built up what happened before Oliver died. She’s listened to those two messages he sent her repeatedly. She took his words to heart. Really let the idea that he’d been in love with her since they were kids sink in. And that belief has been at the center of every single decision. It’s why she spent so much time with Tommy. Why she moved to Starling after graduation. Why she accepted the job at Merlyn Global instead of Queen Consolidated despite them offering her a better position.

She’d built it all up in her head. She’d been trying to play it cool this last week, thinking that Oliver would just need some time to adjust but they would eventually get around to talking about his last message. But… it wasn’t real. None of it. She’d built it all up.

And Tommy had let her.

God. She knows he was Oliver’s friend first, but she thought that they were close. She thought he would have the decency to not feed into this delusion that Oliver and her would ever make it work.

She’d been wrong.

“I want to go home,” she says, holding her hand out for his car keys.

“‘Lis…”

She shakes her head. She doesn’t want to hear it.

“You don’t have to leave,” he says. “You should go enjoy the party. There are plenty of guys here who would be more than willing to help you forget for a night.”

One night stands have never been her thing. She’s never seen the appeal of them. Even if they could help her forget about Oliver for the night, she’d just wake up to realize that all that rejection was still there and she’d feel nothing but dirty. No thanks. She feels dirty enough as it is.

She’d gotten dressed up for him. What a joke.

“I just want to leave,” she says. He looks like he’s about to protest again so she holds up her hand to stop him. “I feel ridiculous. I’m standing in this dress, half naked, upset over a boy. I’m not that girl and the fact that I let myself become that girl makes me feel dirty. I want to go home, shower, eat ice cream in bed, and fall asleep to Doctor Who.”

He doesn’t look happy about it, but he hands over his keys.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

She leans in to give him a goodbye kiss on the cheek. “Please don’t do anything stupid tonight.”

Tommy laughs, but it sounds hollow. “I make no promises.”

“Fine. Then promise me no drugs and nothing that will get you longer than a night in jail,” she says.

He smiles and gives her a wink. “Drive safe, Smoak.”

She waves goodbye and heads for the exit, eager to get home so that she can take these shoes off. They are cute, but she’s not entirely sure they were worth the pain. The second the cool night air hits her, she regrets not bringing a jacket. Any alcohol that was in her system keeping her warm wore off a little over an hour ago and now she’s just cold.

She’s walking towards the parking garage when she notices several police cars on the street, including a SWAT team.

“What the hell?” she says to herself. She looks around, trying to figure out what is going on.

It’s not that she would have been surprised to see a few cop cars outside of the party. After all, it wouldn’t be an Oliver Queen/Tommy Merlyn event if the cops didn’t make an appearance. With the amount of drugs flying around freely and the sheer volume, the cops would have been well within their rights to pay them a visit. But SWAT?

She realizes that they are all rushing into Hunt Multinational and she breathes a sigh of relief. She’s really too tired to bail Tommy out of jail tonight.

She’s about to continue walking to the car when she hears gunfire. She looks up, trying to see where it’s coming from, nervous about getting caught up in the crossfire. She tries to figure out if she’s better off going back inside or rushing to the car.

She hears the sound of glass breaking and watches in shock as a man dressed in green literally ziplines from one of the top floors of Hunt Multinational to the rooftop of the convention center. She can’t see his face. With how far away he is, she can’t make out much of anything, except that whoever he is clearly has a Robin Hood fetish. And the way he easily went between buildings, holding himself up with only one arm like he is some kind of Tarzan is impressive. His arms must be massive. Maybe he really is Tarzan. Raised by monkeys or something. A jungle baby that somehow found his way to Starling City—

“Oh my god,” she whispers as it all hits her at once.

It's Oliver. Her Oliver.

Tommy had thought it was weird that Oliver was so insistent that the party be here, despite the fact that they’d never done an event here before and there were far more places with sentimental value he could have chosen. The convention center that just happens to be next to Hunt’s building. Who conveniently was attacked by the Hood yesterday and again just now.

The mysterious hood saved Oliver and Tommy from their kidnappers, but Tommy never saw him. It was Oliver that gave the description of the man in green to the police. He'd been the only one to see him.

The Hood who just happens to show up at the same time Oliver returned from the island.

The deserted island where he somehow taught himself Russian.

“Oh my god,” she whispers again, not knowing what to do.

The longer she thinks about it the more positive she is that she's right. Oliver’s the vigilante.

What do you do when you find out that your best friend is some arrow loving Robin Hood?

What do you do when you find out the boy you’ve known since first grade, the one who didn’t have an angry bone in his body, suddenly comes back from 5 years away and decides to become a vigilante? She’s watched enough Criminal Minds. She can do a profile. Nobody decides to forgo the aid of law enforcement and fight crime themselves if there isn’t a lot of built up rage inside of them.

What the hell happened to Oliver on that island?

****

Felicity lays in bed that night for hours, unable to shut her mind off. She can’t reconcile the Oliver that she used to know with the Oliver who ziplines between buildings to escape a literal SWAT team. But there is no doubt in her mind, the longer she thinks about it, that Oliver is the vigilante.

Felicity has had the Moscow Rules memorized since she was 7.

Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. Or an enemy action, depending on who you ask, but the theory still stands.

Once meant nothing. The fact that Oliver has been so tight lipped about what happened to him on the island isn’t a surprise. He’s never been the guy to share his feelings with many people. She’s always been an exception, but he was gone for 5 years. That kind of isolation breeds introversion and distrust.

Twice was odd but nothing to look too closely at. The Hood rescued Oliver and Tommy from the warehouse where they were being held. Only Oliver described the Hood. Tommy hadn’t seen him, but then again, he’d been drugged. Oliver had been drugged as well, however due his size, the drugs probably didn’t have as drastic an effect on Oliver as they did Tommy. Either way, it makes sense that a vigilante would rescue two men from kidnappers. The fact that the vigilante showed up the same time that Oliver returned was nothing more than a coincidence. After all, nobody that knew Oliver before would ever mistake him for Robin Hood.

The third time, she’d been stupid not to make the connection. Oliver was insistent about the party being at the convention center. The convention center that just happened to be next to Hunt Multinational, where the Hood had broken into tonight.

God. Felicity still can’t wrap her mind around it.

Men died.

Oliver murdered them.

It just doesn’t make any sense.

The Oliver she knew was far from perfect. He drank too much resulting in a fair share of DUIs, stole a taxi, urinated on a police officer, assaulted a paparazzi, and in general made incredibly reckless decisions. However, Oliver hadn’t been a violent guy. He’d been acquitted of the assault charges because Oliver’s lawyer had been able to prove that the paparazzi in question had been stalking Oliver for a few weeks and had been harassing the girl he was with that night.

It was rare for Oliver to ever resort to violence. For the most part, his recklessness involved doing something for a laugh. He never set out to hurt anybody.

So it’s hard for her to comprehend the fact that 5 years away has turned her best friend into a murderer. She didn’t even know that Oliver knew how to fight. He’d always been a gym rat. He was a jock in high school and kept up his workouts after he graduated because he wanted to impress women. But there’s a big difference between lifting weights and becoming a bow wielding ninja.

Felicity hacked into SCPD’s servers as soon as she got home tonight to find out everything she could on the vigilante. The things that witnesses are saying Oliver can do aren’t skills you learn while deserted on an island. They just aren’t.

The archery she’ll buy. He needed to eat and that meant hunting. So somehow he built himself a bow. It isn’t something she would have thought him capable of, but desperation tends to make the impossible possible and Oliver’s always been smarter than he lets on.

So cool. He became an expert archer by hunting wild animals. That doesn’t explain his fighting skills. It’s not like he was going to be playing fisticuffs with a boar. He probably didn’t encounter a mutant rat that trained him in the ways of ninjutsu. She doubts he was bitten by some radioactive insect that gifted him suddenly with superpowers.

Just because Felicity reads a lot of comic books doesn’t mean she actually thinks it’s possible that the accident triggered Oliver’s X-gene. Superpowers aren’t real. This isn’t Oliver’s origin story.

Felicity sits up in bed and throws the covers off of her violently. She’s not going to be able to sleep tonight until she can make these puzzle pieces fit together in a picture that doesn’t sound absolutely insane.

She grabs her laptop off of the nightstand and begins hacking into his hospital records. She’s hacked into everything she can think of to get information on the Hood, but maybe what she should be doing is looking into Oliver directly.

She quickly accesses his file at Starling General. It talks of fractures that never healed properly. They estimate 20% of his body is covered in scar tissue. There are old burns, cuts, and bite marks on him. It’s not overly surprising. Living on an island without any shelter from the elements or proper equipment can’t be easy. Injuries are bound to happen often. But somehow, she doubts it’s as simple as that.

Oliver had been rescued by fishermen who brought Oliver back to China. He’d been there for a week before he came back to Starling, and in that time he’d been held under quarantine. She hacks into his file at the hospital there. It’s all in Chinese so she can’t read it, but there are pictures attached.

She opens the file and gasps at the sight.

It’s one thing to hear that Oliver’s body is littered with scars, it’s another thing entirely to see them.

“What happened to you?” she whispers, holding back tears as she reaches out to stroke Oliver’s photo on the screen. As if that’s somehow going to do anything to comfort him.

Her guilt for not getting on the Gambit with him intensifies as she stares at the evidence of his trauma. She should have prevented this. She should have made sure that none of this happened to him. He’s always protected her and the one time she could have returned the favor she failed him.

“I’m so sorry,” she says, continuing to trace over his scars on the screen, wishing that she could somehow erase their existence.

It’s four in the morning, so her brain isn’t firing at full capacity. Which is the only explanation for why it takes her so long to realize that something more than scars is seriously wrong with his body.

“When did you get a tattoo?” she asks, zooming in on the images to get a closer look at the 3 tattoos on his body.

The one on his back looks like a dragon and it’s obvious that it wasn’t done by a professional. The lines are blurred and there is scar tissue from where the needle had been pressed into his skin in various places too hard.

There are Chinese characters on his side. She spends the next thirty minutes trying to figure out their meaning. Individually the characters read mouse, ginger, Yao, and pig. It doesn’t make any sense.

However, it’s the star on his chest that pulls her attention the most. It’s a star, but it’s not a symbol obviously recognizable. It’s not the Star of David nor is it the typical 5-point star. It’s got 8-points to it. She watched a documentary recently about the prison systems in which they described how prisoners used their tattoos to symbolize various crimes they’d committed, sentences they’d served, or ranks they hold. She doesn’t know why Oliver would have a prison tattoo, but she has a feeling and she’s learned to trust her gut.

Felicity starts out cross referencing Oliver’s tattoo against the catalog of tattoos the SCPD has on file and comes up empty. On one hand, she’s relieved. She doesn’t want Oliver to have a prison or gang tattoo. That would only raise a million more questions. However, does want to know what the tattoo means or how he’d gotten tattoos on the island.

She knows for certain that he was tattoo free when he left. She’d mentioned to him that she wanted to get a tattoo to remember Cooper by and he’d talked her out of it. He didn’t like tattoos. Obviously something changed his mind if he has 3 now.

She widens her search to the national level. Hacking the FBI is a little more difficult than the SCPD, but it’s not beyond her capabilities. She just needs to be more careful about covering her tracks because she doesn’t need the FBI finding her like they had Cooper.

She cross references thousands of images before she finally finds a match.

“This can’t be right,” she says to herself, before double and triple checking the image.

Oliver’s tattoo has the most unlikely meaning. It’s a symbol of the Russian Mafia. It means he’s a captain. Which solves one mystery. If Oliver is a member of the Solntsevskaya Bratva, it explains how he knows Russian. It also possibly explains why he murdered Adam Hunt’s men. She wouldn’t be surprised if Adam Hunt ended up mixed up in mafia business.

But how? And why?

Is this why the Gambit went down? Were the Queens members of the mafia and Robert got Oliver involved when they went out together? She can’t believe… she won’t believe that Oliver was involved prior to the Gambit. He would have told her. They told each other everything.

But what if he didn’t?

Is it even possible that he’d kept this a secret from her all these years?

She doesn’t think so. Hadn’t everyone at that dinner table been just as surprised as she was that Oliver knew Russian?

So what the hell? How does a man get shipwrecked in the middle of the North China Sea and come back a member of the Bratva? A captain of the Bratva?

For every question she answers, five more pop up in their place.

This is one rabbit hole she’s not sure that she wants to go down anymore. Every secret she uncovers just makes her more and more terrified.

She doesn’t know who came back from that island, but it sure as hell wasn’t the Oliver Queen she grew up with.

****

For the rest of the weekend, Felicity shuts herself in her room and ignores the outside world, stopping only long enough to allow Tommy to bring her food at mealtimes. He asks her numerous times if she’s okay. He thinks she’s upset because of Oliver and Laurel. He has no idea and Felicity doesn’t know how to tell him.

Her entire world has been shaken to the core with the knowledge that Oliver is a captain in the Bratva as well as the Hood. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to tell Tommy any of this. He’s so excited to have his best friend back that she doesn’t have the heart to tell him the man that’s walking around claiming to be Oliver Queen isn’t their Oliver.

So she locks herself in her bedroom and researches. She hacks into every known database and even several unknown databases looking for information on the Bratva. What she finds out is horrifying. Felicity lived in Vegas, so she’s not naive about organized crime. In fact, the casino her mother still works at is owned by the mob. However, what she’s seeing is beyond the expected drug and money laundering. They specialize in human trafficking. She’s connected them to an auction site on the darknet. There are women from all over the world, many of which are young, barely teenagers. A recent raid in Russia intercepted a cargo ship headed stateside full of women who had been tortured and shoved in tiny boxes, many of the women suffocated to death because there hadn't been enough breathing holes.

She’s horrified. It’s one thing to know that these organizations exist out there in the world. It’s another thing entirely to know that a man she’s known nearly her entire life is a leader within this organization.

Felicity continues to dig. She wants to uncover everything. She needs answers. She needs to understand how this came to be. She needs to understand why.

As she continues to research, she comes across a picture of the Hood in Russia. She looks into the metadata on the photo and figures out that it was taken less than a year ago in Krasnoyarsk.

“So much for being marooned on an island,” she says. “What else have you lied about?”

Felicity looks into Lian Yu, the name of the island that Oliver was found on. She tries to learn everything she can about it to see if she can figure out if Oliver was ever really on that island. From what she can tell, the Chinese government used it as a prison of sorts. They banished prisoners to the island up until 1999 when they abandoned the island — and she assumes everyone currently residing there. After that, she can’t find any information on Lian Yu anywhere else.

If Oliver ever was on that island, it’s possible that he wasn’t alone. The island could have still held Chinese prisoners. Which could explain where he’d learned to fight, but it doesn’t explain the Bratva.

By Monday morning, Felicity has gotten barely any sleep and has way more questions than she has answers. She’s on her way to work, downing her fourth cup of coffee, trying to figure out how she’s going to make it through the day, when she realizes that it’s pointless to even try. There is no way she’s going to be able to focus on budget meetings and quarterly evaluations when her mind is still on Oliver and his life of crime.

She hasn’t spoken to him since Friday, though Tommy did go out to dinner with him the night before and extended the invitation. Felicity hadn’t wanted to see him. She’s terrified of it, actually, but she has questions and after days of research she’s come to the unfortunate conclusion that there’s only one way she’s going to get her answers.

She needs to go directly to the source.

Felicity flips a U-Turn at the next light and heads out to Queen Manor.

When she arrives at the mansion, Raisa lets her in. Seeing her makes her wonder if the Bratva really is a family business. She’s been with the Queens for as long as Felicity has known Oliver and she’s from Russia. It’s possible that she was brought here illegally as part of their human trafficking business. She read online that they didn’t only kidnap people for the sex trade. She doesn’t think that Raisa acts like a woman being held against her will, but then again what does she really know?

“Hey,” Oliver says, walking into the room wearing a surprised smile. “I didn’t know you were coming over.”

Felicity watches him carefully, looking for any sign of his true identity as both a Bratva captain and the Hood, but all she can see is the boy she used to know. She can’t get her mind to reconcile the fact that the man standing before her is the same one that tortured a man last night.His smile is the same one he’s always given her. The hug he pulls her into feels just as safe as it always has. Even his cologne is the same one he’s worn since college. Nothing about him screams danger, but that’s what makes him so threatening. If the face he’s wearing now is an act, how long has he been pretending with her?

“Felicity,” Oliver says, squeezing her arm to get her attention.

“What?” she asks, realizing that he must have been talking to her and she’d missed it.

“I asked what you’re doing here?”

Felicity takes a deep breath to settle her nerves and nods her head as she tells herself that she can do this. She can confront a mob boss.

Or is it the mafia? She doesn’t understand the difference. She thought that the mafia was only for groups from Sicily and the mob was a generic term for all organized crime, but her research last night referred to the Bratva as the Russian Mafia. So who knows.

What she does know is that she is brave enough to confront a captain of the Bratva. This is something that she can do. After all, it’s not like Oliver will actually kill her, right? Sure, movies always used that ‘If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you line,’ but that’s fiction. Oliver is her friend. Surely he wouldn’t actually hurt her. Right?

Images of the news last night flash through her head. Nick Major had looked pretty beat up in the video of him leaving the hospital after being confronted by the Hood, and Nick had been a friend of the family as well.

“Felicity?”

“We need to talk,” she says, sounding much braver than she feels.

She grabs his arm and pulls him up the stairs and storms towards his room. She’s not sure how much of Oliver’s secret the Queens are in on or not, but either way she wants this to be a private conversation. If the Bratva is the family business, she thinks Oliver may be more inclined to tell her the truth if there aren’t listening ears all around.

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asks the second she closes the door behind him.

Felicity pushes on his incredibly muscular chest — not that she’s taking the time to notice right now because that would be inappropriate – until he sits down on the sofa. He moves aside to make room for him, but she decides to stand in front of him and crosses her arms to appear more imposing.

“You’re going to tell me everything,” she demands.

“Um… What?” he says looking adorably confused, but she knows it has to be an act.

“You’re going to tell me everything,” she says again and he shakes his head and opens his mouth to make up what she’s sure would be a lie but she puts her finger to his lips to stop him. “No. You’re going to tell me everything. You’re going to give me the truth. Because right now, all I know is that my best friend is part of the Russian mob and is running around town swinging from buildings like he’s Tarzan and playing Robin Hood. And none of it makes any sense. So you’re going to tell me everything because right now all I know is that you’re wanted by the police for murder and none of it makes any sense.”

She takes a deep breath as she finishes her rant to get airflow to her brain because she’s feeling a little light headed and definitely thinks the world may be spinning. Though the world spinning is probably just a side effect of realizing your best friend is some kind of jungle ninja.

Oliver reaches up to remove her finger from her lips and uses his grip to pull her down to sit on the couch with her.

“Okay,” he says looking like he’s trying not to laugh. “I don’t know how much coffee you’ve had to drink, but clearly you need to make the switch to decaf.”

“Don’t,” she warns him. She’s not an idiot and if he treats her like she is, she’s going to be incredibly pissed.

“Felicity,” he says softly. “What on Earth makes you think that I’m… what was it you said? A part of the Russian mob?”

“Well that tattoo on your chest for one,” she says, raising her eyebrow in challenge.

“That?” he says with a chuckle. “I got that when I was drunk.”

She eyes him carefully, looking for any sign that he’s lying. He’s not, but that doesn’t mean he’s telling her the truth either. Just because he had been drunk when he got it, didn’t mean he didn’t get it from the Bratva.

“You didn’t have it in Boston,” she says. “So are you telling me there was booze on the island? And a tattoo artist willing to wave how dangerous it is to get tattooed while drunk?”

Oliver just shrugs, like it’s nothing to be concerned about.

“And the fact that you’re fluent in Russian? What you just picked that up when you were on a deserted island did you?” she says with a snort.

“You honestly believe this, don’t you?” he says.

Felicity stands up and pulls her arm out of his grip. “Don’t,” she says sharply.

“I don’t know where this is coming from,” he says. “Where did you get this idea that I’m some kind of crime lord? You know me, do you really think I’d join the mob? How could I? In case you forgot, I’ve been out of town for awhile.”

“Oliver Queen,” she says, pulling out the voice she always used when she needed him to do something. He called it her Mom Voice. She puts her hands on her hips and tries her best to look threatening, though she’s sure, to a mobster, she’s hardly intimidating. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t take everything I’ve found out about you and you’re little green hobby and go straight to the police.”

When Oliver doesn’t say anything right away, she throws her hands up in the air in frustration.

“Fine,” she says and moves to storm out of the room.

Faster than should be humanly possible, Oliver is out of his seat and slamming the door closed as she opens it.

“Let me go,” she says firmly, trying her best not to be afraid. After all, she’s still fairly confident that he won’t hurt her. But that knowledge somehow doesn’t stop her heart from beating fast and her blood from pounding in her ears.

“Felicity, please,” Oliver says, sounding broken.

It’s odd. For somebody that tortures and murders people at night, she wouldn’t have expected him to demonstrate any weakness.

She doesn’t turn around to face him, but she doesn’t make a move to leave again. He sighs deeply and drops his hands so that he’s no longer blocking her against the door.

“I don’t understand,” she says.

“I can’t tell you,” he whispers. “Please just trust me.”

“How can I trust you when I feel like I don’t even know you anymore?” she asks.

“Because you always have,” he says. “You know me. You know that I would never hurt you. So please don’t be scared of me.”

“I’m not scared of you, I’m scared for you.”

The moment the words leave her mouth, she realizes how true they really are. It’s not her own life that has her breathing heavily and panicking. Her heart is pounding in fear of what’s happening to Oliver. Of what’s clearly already happened to Oliver.

“I can take care of myself,” he says.

“Can you?” she asks, finally turning around to look at him.

“I know what I’m doing,” he says.

“Well at least that makes one of us,” she says.

She waits for him to say something else. Anything else. But no explanation comes. She opens the door again and this time he doesn’t stop her.

The entire way out of the house, she keeps expecting him to come running after her and beg her not to tell anyone. She keeps expecting one of the servants to pop out at her and drag her into the basement and lock her away from threatening to expose the family secret. At the very least, she expects Moira to meet her at the door with a threat.

None of that happens. The only response she gets is a text from Oliver as she gets into her car.

Please don’t tell anyone.

Part 2 of 2 to be posted next week ;)

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