#bigger fools than i have claimed identities that were more maligned than my own | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sugar--pain · 2 months

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Kinda tempted to go back to identifying as aromantic but from the perspective of "I have chosen to love everyone that I have dated. I can choose to stop." but I don't know how well that would go over.

#I mean easily parts of us can identify as such just not collectively #so i guess that's why I'm saying it here #like. it's not wrong #some part of my brain has always decided that for whatever reason loving someone was in my best interest.#and only then did I develop interest Like That.#Usually we would like someone and want their attention want to be their friend and they'd develop interest #and we'd adjust to match their energy because they wanted that from us #for a while we argued amongst each other #that it wasn't valid if we didn't agree. pondering if this is ever valid #i saw people say it was popular to say that we don't choose to love #but i just don't relate to that #i know exactly how my brain works. and i can successfully convince it to love someone. and i can successfully convince it to stop.#i don't think being calculative is wrong #and honestly i think our feeling these things aren't genuine just because we can control it. it doesn't seem fair.#i'm fully capable of love. and there's nothing wrong with me deciding to love because it seems like it'd benefit us both.#and if we're already feeding each other anyway i just don't see anything wrong with accepting what's happening.#i don't like the expectations that get pulled with it.#i want to be able to independently decide what and when i want. i don't like labels.#i like that we're an anarchist but not everyone can even be on the same page about what that means #i know we left the aromantic community because they got too specific and a lot of ideas became too stiff and twisted in to reactionary #misunderstandings but how long can we keep leaving communities and cutting ourself off in to something nebulous #because of a problem that'll folllow us no matter where we go?#i think we can define ourselves any number of ways #i don't think any of them are wrong #bigger fools than i have claimed identities that were more maligned than my own #and when it's inevitable who's to say it's wrong #we're all who we are at the end of the day. these words can't contain or quantify us #they can be shortcuts but they can't define us #this is just how i live. it's about give and take #vv

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