#billys mantra every time steve does/wears something he hates being reminders that hes got a big dick and eats him out so good... real

[ariesbilly]

Steve Harrington is a pretty good choice in partner, but Billy is of the solid opinion that everything can be improved. And what won't be improved willingly can always be roped and dragged there kicking and screaming.

First and foremost; that godforsaken bedroom his boyfriend expects him to sleep in. Billy actually physically recoils the first time Harrington opens the door, and decides immediately if you ever want to break a man, just lock him in here.

Looking at his dad's bare asshole would invoke less of a vomit reflex than tartan on tartan. Also, whoever actually created and sold tartan wallpaper needs to be killed for the immediate greater good of humanity.

Still. The wallpaper is a longcon kinda game, so Billy turns his attention to something that can be fixed with relative swiftness.

The fire is roaring and crackling when Steve comes home from work, and his boyfriend scrunches his nose at it with a pleased, surprised smile. "Howdy, Pyro," he greets, leans over Billy's shoulder to warm his hands. Billy offers him the pack of marshmallows and, subtly, uses his heel to kick the pair of scissors further under the deck chair.

"Is that fabric?" Steve asks on his third marshmallow, leaning so close to the flames Billy has to pull him back lest he lose a brow.

"Eh, scraps I found in the garage."

Two weeks later, Steve has been rib-deep in his closet for a good half an hour before he calls out; "hey, Cake? Do you know where my green sweater is?"

Billy can't help smiling a slow, smug, sly little thing as he dries off the last dish. "Sorry, Hidalgo. No idea."

The next time, Steve brought it on himself. The faux-fur monstrosity he wears out to the movies looks like he cut up a rug made out of unfortunate roadkill and shaped it like a jacket, and honestly, Billy's just doing the Lord's work when he trips and spills a blue slushie all over it. It'll never wash out, and Harrington wisely decides the thing has lived a full life and deserves to visit the landfill of eternal rest.

The day after, Billy buys a cream colored suede jacket with sheepskin on the collar and cuffs. Presents it to Steve, pouty and apologetic, and Steve wears it for a week straight when they go out. It makes his eyes look deeper, darker. Makes the pink on his cheeks stand out a little.

Two months into dating proper, Steve wears an honest to god vest that Nancy got him for his birthday to Jonathan's college leaving party, and Billy has to do breathing exercises before getting in the car.

"You love him," he mutters, clenching and unclenching his fists. "You love him. His dick is fucking huge. You love him. He eats your ass like he's starving. You love him...."

The vest, ultimately, accidentally gets washed with a pair of jeans Billy doesn't really care about anyway, which happen to have a forgotten switchblade in the pocket, and Billy has to visibly school his expression when Steve pulls it out of the machine a half-hour later in eight different pieces.

They're three months, two jackets, three sweats, one vest and a pair of honest to god flared khakis ("they're novelty, Billy!") later, and they're laying together in their newly papered bedroom when Steve rolls over him, tucks a lock of his hair behind his ear and says;

"The guilt is eating me alive, so. How about next time you hate something I wear, you just tell me, and we can donate it to charity so you can get me something else, my conscience stays clear, and we're both happy, mm?"

Billy grins. "And inflict those crimes against humanity on other people? Damn, Long Johnson. Knew you were a secret sadist. That's kinda hot," he bites his lip and Steve laughs, squirms up close, fingers digging into Billy's hips, words hot on his ear.

"Oh, Barbie. If you wanna see sadism, I'll show you my christmas sweater collection."

I AM SCREAMING AT THESE NICKNAMES!!!!

billy is gonna queer eye steve so hard when they start dating ... he loves the rich preppy boy money he does NOT love the yuppie fashion he has to draw a line somewhere