#blb: 🦀

[bread--quest]

[IDs: Three different digital drawings, all in a simple, cartoony style. The drawings are of personifications of various Blaseball teams. The first image is a 3-panel comic showing the Millennials and the Garages, the second is an edited XKCD comic showing the Magic and the Spies, and the third is a collection of various drawings, with tumblr posts assigned to the characters who are "saying" them.

The Millennials are a person with light pink and blue hair in a half-ponytail, wearing a hoodie and with a visor displaying emojis on it over their eyes. They say "girl u r (caps) killing it!", making finger guns and smiling while the emojis displayed on their visor are the double exclamation marks, fire, and 100. They then cross their arms and say "girl idt its (caps) moving anymore" as the visor emojis switch to the fire and two different question marks. In the final panel, they hold out their hands with an expression of distress, visor emojis now the exclamation mark, raised hand, and stop sign, and say "girl u can stop biting", with "girl" and "stop biting" in caps. The third panel also shows the Garages, who have blue sideshaved hair and are surrounded by blue fire, angrily biting at the png of the melted Coin/Boss.

The Magic are a person with dark brown skin and dark green, braided hair, wearing a light yellow ranger's uniform and a pink wizard's cloak and hat. They stand next to a tree and speak into a walkie-talkie, saying "the eagle has left the nest!" with a look of delight. The comic then shows the Spies, who are a person with pale skin and black hair with lavender streaks, wearing a trenchcoat, fedora, scarf, and sunglasses, so their features are almost entirely obscured. They are also holding a walkie-talkie, and say "*khhkht* roger that. alert the agents." *khhhkht*" The Magic turn to them with a look of annoyance, throwing their hands in the air and saying "will you stop that?" (stop that is italicized). The Spies are then drawn in only lineart, with the lines being partially erased and the caption/sound effect "*abscond*".

The various characters shown saying posts are: 1: the Firefighters, who are a person with pale skin, fire hair in a high bun, and blurred fire emojis for eyes, holding a piece of paper that is shown in an inset to read "you have mental illinois" and happily saying "i have been diagnosed with chicago". 2: the Sunbeams, who are a person with light brown skin, short yellow hair, multiple arms and eyes, a slight yellow glow behind their head, sitting in a red area with white bones jabbing up from the ground and saying with a happy expression "(sitting in the pit) you guys really make this hell-hole a hell-home [blushing emoji]". 3: The Jazz Hands, who are a person with light skin and short light blue hair that fades to white wearing a bowtie and top hat, pointing at a purple card reading "xvi" while saying with an angry expression "Pilots, if you keep this shit up you're going to find out why the tower is considered the most evil tarot card". 4: The Crabs, a person with brown skin, short brown hair in a ponytail, a crab claw in place of their right hand, crab-colored patches on their face, and antennae, are smiling while saying "well i can comprehend these manmade horrors perfectly so idk skill issue". 5: The Tigers, a person with light brown skin, short orange hair, and a tiger tail and ears, wearing sunglasses and sitting in an inner tube, grinning and saying "floating down the river styx on an inflatable donut and high-fiving all the lost souls i pass. i'm on vacation". They have one hand raised to high-five another, ghostly hand. End IDs.]

now that we know a team is canonically a Thing that can Do Stuff (like become an Ace??? maybe?? listen just go with it) i feel justified in posting these. also i've been getting too many followers anyway, i need to thin the pack with some good old-fashioned Weird Cringe Nonsense (proud)

[orbleglorb]

im taking this idea from @doctorwhoisadhd :P fake blb tumblr!!

🖼 normalguy Follow

Hey, who runs the Blaseball team accounts? Is it the manager? Or just a random player?

🏝 hawaii-fridays Follow

good question!

🐝 blasphemous-bumblebee Follow

...wouldn't you know????

🏝 hawaii-fridays Follow

nah lol

🦀 baltimore-crabs Follow

deb runs ours

🏝 hawaii-fridays Follow

i thought every crab was named deb

🦀 baltimore-crabs Follow

yeah

7,094 notes

🖼 normalguy Follow

Hey, who runs the Blaseball team accounts? Is it the manager? Or just a random player?

🍊 superhellmouthsunbeams Follow

Some teams don't have managers, so I doubt all team accounts are run by managers. I guess a random player would make more sense, but would it become an issue if that player switched teams?

🥪 dale-captain-dogwalker Follow

only a fuckin skill issue

7,094 notes

[taketheringtolohac]

also I think about how arguably my most recognizable stupid joke I made that has the most lasting and widespread impact in blb is definitely the “and then he died 🦀” Jon Halifax one which was just a stupid thing I put on the updated mints primer that people latched onto and carried everywhere. I’m not saying I’m not proud but also. of all the things I’ve said…