#blocking friends of mutuals bc they interact/post v triggering content for me makes me feel awful
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Blocking ppl both makes me feel safer and yet skyrockets my paranoia
#cw for potential derealization#in the tags specifically#following this point on#now#pls don’t read if u think it may trigger u in anyway <3#BUT MAN#it makes me feel strangely like???#seen???#like everyone must be watching me and hating me and they’re all going to get me now#blocking friends of mutuals bc they interact/post v triggering content for me makes me feel awful#like that mutual is going to appear at my house#they’re watching my every move and are gonna be like [mutual why did kite block me ??] and the mutual will be like#[yeah that’s fucking stupid why did she block u] and everyone is going to hate me#they’re gonna turn on me and come to my house and steal my bones#and there’s no one I can talk to bc everyone’s connected#no actually I do have one [1] mutual who I think?? is pretty similar to me in what they like/tolerate#and in the little circle of kvnikida fans I kind of know that if they’re not following X bigger artist something strange abt them is -#probably going on BWHDJSJS- and they’ll never know who they are cuz we never fucking talk#but I appreciate them sm- but man fucking sucks#mental illness right? what’s it like to just be able to ignore things and accept u can’t please everyone?#I need to return to ccs asap LMAO#Before I have a legit paranoid episode over this-
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