#bluespaceagere

[bluespace-baby]

waz scareddis mornibm thatvpokie orbbaba were gona do wat resl mommy dos allnday..sleeps cuz she drinked so much adulyt juce.. it mad me scared n upset but pokie n baba r ups n ibfeel bettr but..stil wan paci and tomme bear.. i don feel little enuff ijn tha body righ now..

i miss my chubbie too... wobwobeobeobwubwubwubwub wubwubwubwubwub

[bluespace-baby]

I'm not sure if it's weird to say but, ever since I got my paci, things feel easier?

I've been in blue space more and I'm don't have the constant triggering memories in the back of my mind when I'm there too.

I plan on getting a onesie soon since wearing a hoodie and boxers still feels too much like big/normal me..

But yeah.. It's been nice since I've gotten the paci. I use it even when I'm not in bluespace since it works as a stim toy sometimes. Last night I had it in and I don't even remember falling asleep. It really does help a lot

[bluespace-baby]

My stomach does hurt which go makes me feel a little bluespacey because no one is here to help but I'm sure it'll go away soon..

If not.. Well.

I'm happy and gotten comfy with regressing around them but my issue now is being in bluespace too much.. Which is hard because I'm always reminded of trauma throughout my day

I don't want to burden them with having to be around me when I'm in bluespace so often..

[bluespace-baby]

It's been making me really happy how my partners have been accepting my bluespace and helping me so much.. I haven't self harmed in weeks

It's also just.. really nice to have gear for when I'm in bluespace now. It really helps me go into it and stay in it. It helps me feel more small which is something I've always struggled with

It's also just really nice to pop in my paci and feel comforted even when I'm not in bluespace. Like right now, I'm just writing this with my paci in my mouth, clipped onto Ringo. It's nice..

[bluespace-baby]

I'm so happy that my paci finally came in! I made it all today too

It's so cute and it makes me feel so small when I'm in bluespace. I had so much fun putting it together!! The nip fits perfectly in my mouth and feels really nice. It's not too big or small and just feels really good-

This sounds like a review, it isn't. I'm just very happy to have gotten a paci finally!

I plan on getting an agere mystery box soon. Themed one maybe? Pokemon or Pompompurin or just bear themed.. I really want more stuff for when I'm in bluespace. The paci already helps so much. Hopefully one day soon I'll be able to get myself a tomee bear

[bluespace-baby]

fel so lone..

don wana wake dem up ..

tto litl t take care of..

jjus be strng.. try t b big..

ppepl lov you still.. not unwanted.. smone wants you ..

[bluespace-baby]

ts k.. juds needslep..

forgt abu mama .. forgt dadxdy ..... 2s big nuf ta b own parent..

ts k if nno one can care of m.. bbabies r yucky.. never sposed t be born anywas.. csn care of mself...

evn f it relly realy hurts...

jus gota b strng.. don bther dem.. ddon cry,, don cri.. cant3ccri..

[bluespace-baby]

feeling mself get morelittle..words extremely hard,, feel.. verylittle... wanna cry.. shouldnt belike thisd,,

rudde.. rudeof me,, stupiddumb.. ttoo littletto take careof.. canteven communicate needs properlyu.. scaredf to ssleep... ddintwant him bback,,

feelsso embarrassed,, feel likeoneoftthose bbabies throwninto rubbish bins outsside.. ddontdesrve acaregiver..

[bluespace-baby]

bad dream.. bad bad dream..

need baba n pokie soon as posibl

feel soyucky.. soso yucky.. yuckyhands on me..

cant be big rite now.. too upset.. jus need ta hold blankie until deyr here..

too litll.. too littl..

[bluespace-baby]

got so happie with all m new things dat m brsin said t be smal.. so happie wit all m new gifts n snackies!!

so so so very happie i feel like dis

all cuddly in blankie!!! so happie.. tail waggy

[bluespace-baby]

Smoothly coming out of bluespace without forcing myself out of it by some triggering means and actually feeling better and.. Genuinely happy

This is something completely new to me. I've never gone out of bluespace involuntarily but my brain decided that it feels safe and secure.. It makes me feel happy that it's happened. I felt so safe and cared for in the mindset of someone so vulnerable that my brain decided that it's ok to come out of it- I'm kinda shocked and really happy that it happened so smoothly.. I hope it continues to happen when I am in bluespace

[bluespace-baby]

reelly want m paci to come in soon... so sleepy.. m miss tomee bear,,

they all asleep now.. haveta suck on my tumb or leaf chewie for bedtimes

m miss baba.. m miss pokie,, m wanna make m paci soon.. need paci

m wantmy blankie.. baba and pokie..

[bluespace-baby]

Sometimes I need to be put into bluespace.. like.. coerced or pushed into it. Like the other night where it was hard to sleep so Matt started talking to me and it made me kinda go into bluespace just to sleep..

I wish I could tellthem my needs without feeling gross,,..

[bluespace-baby]

Body in pain.. brainw ants to bluespace. Too stressed. Feel gross,, I hatememori3s..

[bluespace-baby]

My tummy is hurting.. Its making my brain feel littler.. I don't feel like that's ok to do right now,, It's really hard to hold it back though..

So much pain.. aching.. hurts

[bluespace-baby]

I feel so worthless..

The space between little and big is such a small area to me but it's such a horrible experience..My brain fights to be both. And it's always when I force myself out of it,,

I hate myself,, Why am I like this to my friend. To my boyfriend. Why am I so stupid and disgusting,,

Defiled pathetic corpse of a being..