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#borderhoarder

whillyem · 4 years

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angel-pride · 4 years

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hey i don’t want to coin something that already exists so if any of my uhhh ten-odd followers knows of a neurogender term of sorts that is as of yet called “borderhoarder” in my head, basically when you hoard genders due to a lack of solid identity, a lack of understanding of your identity, and a need for an identity that can be quantified and held onto, because of BPD. im not really sure how to search for it if it does exist and uhhh im just throwing this out there before i spend time putting it together

#yes this is for me #my brain has been HATING ME lately and i’ve been thinking about my relationship to this blog and mogai in general #(you might notice i was extra active on here today. it’s because outer life is going to shit skdjdd)#with the blog it’s so controlled and sparse that i can establish a Self tangled up inside this blog #that can be found and latched onto when im missing it and i can keep up this front even if my second smaller front underneath is crumbling #and then. in the exact same fashion as when i was a kid reading the concept index of the thesaurus and #going through the personality traits section one by one and checking them off as yes no yes no #so that i could write up a profile of who i am and finally know #i think my relationship with xenogenders is similar #not the experience itself but that i need to quantify everything and grab onto a picture that makes sense to me?#anyways uh. yeah if there’s already a term for people who hoard with roots in bpd #or other personality difficulties i guess?? i mean it doesn’t have to be specifically a neurolabel i’d just figured it would be #anyways just. uh. yeah im going to post this and if i don’t hear of anything by tomorrow then borderhoarder will be coined #mine #angel is talking #//personal

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