#brain said im tired of being shy Ask for attention directly NOW

[yamikawas]

only 1 of the modded dressup games that i wanted worked and im so mad abt it that i uninstalled it anyways.If i beg for asks again is it going to work this time

[ellitx]

helpppppp i read that scenario of reader sleeping over, and I couldn’t help but imagine that they all share the same room when that is. Also what do you think the twins would do to get readers attention over the other?

Im gonna set this back when you’re in the middle school or something.

masterlist

fluff

word count: 1.6k

You and the twins are already comfortable with laying on each other’s bed whenever you/they visit. Your mother, Amos, even brings snacks to your room for them to eat and she always gets excited whenever they come to your house.

She’s even the one who insisted if you wanna invite them for a sleepover! Your father, Decarabian, always disapproves whenever you ask him if you can sleep at the twin’s house. (Also because uncle Andrius is there and he doesn't want you to get close to him)

Himmel and Venti were having friendly bickering and thinking over what gift they should give to your mother as thanks for welcoming them in. Amos accepts anything! She really appreciates they’ve put an effort to do it but later on, feels guilty and that they didn’t have to do it.

Speaking of gifts, your birthday is almost coming. Himmel and Venti thought at the same time. And while Aunt Amos is here...

You already know that they also have the same idea to ask your mother what you would like to have as a gift but have different methods to approach her.

It was Himmel who first asked aunt Amos about it. Well... not really her but someone else. It was after dinner and he decided to help her out and the maids in cleaning the dishes. He was really nervous and shy to ask her. Is it really alright if he questions aunt Amos what are your favorites? Will she get disappointed that he doesn’t know what your likes and dislikes are for the entire years he grew up with you?

Himmel sighed and continues to wipe the dishes with a dry cloth and puts them inside their respective racks.

“Master Himmel is everything alright?” A maid suddenly asked in concern, surprising him.

“We can handle everything here. If you’re getting tired, we’ve already prepared and tidied the room as what the Young Mistress has ordered.” She continued. The boy blinked before shaking his head and giving a soft smile to her way.

“Oh please don’t worry about me! I’m just thinking about something.” His attention was back on the ceramic plate and he carefully does dry it.

“Is it perhaps the Young Mistress’s birthday is coming soon?”

Himmel almost dropped the plate if it were not for him to quickly regain his balance and tightly hold on to it for dear life. He looked at the maid in utter shock, his face was scribbled with bafflement and embarrassment as he owlishly blinked at her.

Was he really that obvious the maid managed to point out his current problems right on spot? Well, It’s better to talk to her about this right? She knows you more than him after all.

Himmel nodded and set his gaze on the plate, mirroring his appearance.

“What do you think [Name] would like to receive as a gift?” He muttered under his breath as heat began to crawl up to his face up to the tip of his ears.

“Young Mistress’s favorite?” The maid echoed. She then placed her gloved hands to her chin, deep in thought.

“I’m sure she’d love anything as long as it’s from you. It’s the thought that counts, is it not?” She said before turning off the faucet to avoid wasting water.

Himmel was quiet for a minute.

Anything, huh?

—

Venti would directly ask Aunt Amos what gift you would like when she was preparing night snacks for the three of you. The younger twin snuck out of the room and left you and Himmel alone to play some video games.

As much as he’d hate not being included there and missing out on the fun, the most important matter right now is the gift you’ll get for your day of birth!

“Aunt Amos! Aunt Amos!” Venti cried and slammed the door open to where the kitchen is. The said woman shrieked at the sudden intrusion and looked over her shoulder to see the culprit behind her almost heart attack.

“Venti... goodness you gave me a fright there.” Amos chuckled and continued to prep up an iced tea.

“Aunt Amos, I wanna ask you something!” He said and leaned over the counter to take a peek at what she’s doing.

She stopped whatever she’s doing and wiped her hands with her apron before setting her focus on the short male.

“What is it?”

Venti walked back and cleared his throat behind his fist as if he were going to make a speech.

“A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the gentleman next to him pull a bag of 100 Mora out of his pocket.

He turns to the rich man and says to him,

'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'

The rich man laughs.

The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'

The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, [Name]?'

The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?”

Venti ended his riddle with a smile at the woman. Amos seemed to be contemplating his question very well and it’s not often she gets to participate in his brain-teasers. So this is very much a surprise for her.

Well, enough about that, she has to answer this quickly and she doesn’t want to make him wait for her longer. Going back to his riddle, was the rich man supposed to be her husband? Venti did mention your name when the poor man asked the rich man.

A song that has your name...

“Is it Happy Birthday?” She answered.

“Bing bong!” Venti’s fingers were formed to an okay sign and gave her a big grin.

“Knowing the answer is Happy Birthday, I suppose you’re also going to ask me about [Name]’s gift, am I correct?”

Venti let out a hearty laugh and winked at her. “Correct once again, Miss Amos!”

“Sooo...” He held on to the chair’s backrest and gave her the best puppy eyes he could muster to get another answer from her.

“Please please please please tell me what [Name] would like— no, LOVE to get on her birthday!!” He begged and clasped his hands together as if he was praying to a god.

“Now, now, isn’t that cheating? Your brother never asked me about this so isn’t it fair for you if you guess as well?” She remarked as she arranged the brownies on the plates.

“Wait— Himmel didn’t ask you?!”

Oh, how foolish he was to think the older twin actually asked your mother. Was he thinking too much when Himmel helped her out in cleaning the table? Perhaps yes, perhaps not. Or maybe Aunt Amos is hiding something that even she cannot tell the hidden secret to him?

“Well, I suppose I can give you a hint on what it is.” Amos motioned for him to come closer in which Venti quickly obeyed. Venti took note of all the words left from her lips in his head and is beginning to plan out events on the next days before your birthday.

His smile was brighter than the sun in this nightly hour and his eyes sparkled in excitement and joy. Even though her hint lacks information and clues he could deduct, he at least speculated it must be that item!

“Thank you, Miss Amos! That’s already a good hint for me! Now if you excuse me, I suppose we can eat this already...?” He sheepishly asked as he looked on the tray placed with a pile of brownies on a plate, a pitcher of iced tea, and three tall fragile glasses.

“I was about to ask you if you can bring it to the room. Be careful not to trip on your way!” The young male bobbed his head and picked up the tray with his two hands.

“Will do! And thank you for the snacks again!” And then off he goes, his slippers slapping against the tiled floor to make his way back to the shared room.

Amos watched his form disappear before her eyes flicked to the doorframe. A small smile appeared on her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You can come out now, dear.” She said. A good minute of silence was only present in the kitchen before a tall man stepped out of the darkness, sighing heavily as he threw her a look of disappointment.

“Did that little rascal really have to use me in his riddles?” He groaned before taking a look over the leftover pieces of brownies.

“What? It’s kind of amusing and smart to do it. I’ll give him kudos for that.” Amos opened her lips and popped in small bits of the dessert in her mouth to take a taste of it.

“Hmph,” Decarabian huffed as he poured a drink to the glass.

“And let me guess that Himmel also asked you about [Name]’s birthday?” He almost spat out his drink when his wife mentioned the name of your friend. It would be a waste if he did that and he doesn’t like to cause a mess in this area already.

“I told you he’s a good kid. You just have to get rid of that frown of yours and your authoritative aura. Himmel’s always doing his best and now he even had the courage to approach and ask you.”

Decarabian could only stand still and remain silent as he sipped his drink.

—

ive written a shared room scenario before and this is set on college au. Do take note this has nsfw content in it

[bangchanshehe]

Are You Mine? pt.6

You arrived in Korea to start living your dream, or so you thought until you meet a man that woman dream of throwing themselves on. His entry into your new life takes you down a rocky path where friends will become enemies and foes will make themselves be known.

word count: 2k

The next day things had started without a hitch. You had gone to the company to get your official name badge and started to set up your office so it felt more like your own. You had organized a file on your computer for each other the boys in exo so that you could keep track of each boys schedule, progress with English lessons, and take notes.

The boys’ previous English instructor had sent you an email with references as to where each of the members were as far as studying and materials that you could use during lessons. You had smiled at your desktop and thought back to the day that Baekhyun had asked you to help him with English… if not for that day you wouldn’t be where you are now and you decided that you would thank him later.

But the more that you let yourself think about how he went through your phone and found you the more you started to feel a little uneasy. Had it had been any other person in the world you would have felt incredibly uncomfortable and maybe even unsafe. What had started off as unsolicited hitting on turned into him essentially stocking your information and then calling you to beg for help.

You immediately let out a deep breath and promised yourself that you would pocket all of those feelings and emotions. At the time sure you had some red flags but after getting to know Baekhyun you no longer had any alarms going off in your head. Plus if it weren’t for that unfortunate beginning to your friendship then you wouldn’t be where you are right now.

A knocking at the door caught your attention and you immediately called out for whoever was at the door to come in. you waited with a polite smile and when you saw the familiar long hair of johnny at your office door you smiled.

“hi” was all he said as he stood awkwardly by the door like a little schoolboy

“hey” you said back giving him a warm smile “watcha doing here?”

He took a seat in the chair directly in front of your desk and cleared his throat before he looked back up to you. You watched and waited for him to answer you or at least say something else, and as the seconds went by and the room was still silent you began to smile wider and wider.

“johnny?” you asked

“I’m sorry. I’m just-“ he smiled up at you and then looked down again “I’m just a little tired” he finally said

“what time did you get here this morning?” you asked him

“8am” he answered

You looked over at the clock on your computer monitor and you noticed that the time was only 12. Perhaps he got home late last night. Or maybe he was so tired that he couldn’t sleep.

“so I wanted to ask you if you would eat lunch with me today.” He said keeping a straight face. “I mean I figured that you may not know about the good places to eat around here yet or have any friends to eat with so I thought id take you somewhere” he said nervously explaining away

You chuckled and smiled at him as you asked him “you think I don’t have friends?”

Johnny’s eyes went wide and you knew that he felt a sense of panic since he had essentially called you a loner. And it wasn’t that he was wrong and you weren’t offended either, but you knew that he wasn’t in his right mind and you wanted to give him a little bit of hell.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I just mean that since you just got here-“ he yelled as he explained

“its okay…. Im just messing with you.” You said with a smile. You stood up and grabbed your purse and watched as johnny remained seated “come on… where are you gonna take me?” you asked

The practice room…. He took you to the practice room to eat with you. You looked around and let out a happy chuckle as you looked around the room that you had seen so many times on the internet and in dance practice videos. And while it wasn’t the place that you had really anticipated eating in you knew that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be in the same place that so many of your favorite idols had been before.

“is it just you and I?” you asked him, confused as to why the room was so empty

“yeah” johnny said taking a look around until he saw something that caught his eye. He ran off towards a counter in the back corner of the room and grabbed a bag that had takeout inside. “everyone usually likes to go out and eat or they have other schedules and they eat on the way”

He sat down in the middle of the floor and he opened up the containers one by one. Kimchi fried rice, kimbap, rice cakes, and fishcakes were opened one by one and as you smelled the aroma of each dish your mouth began to water.

“I didn’t know what you liked so I ordered all of my favorites assuming that you must like at least one of them” johnny said as he pulled out chopsticks and separated them for you.

“so do you not have any more work for the day?” you asked him

Johnny looked up at you and gave you a small sad smile. “its not that I don’t have any more work for the day, I just don’t have any individual work to do. When the group comes back then ill have more practice” he stated with a confident tone, but with one look in his eyes you could see that he was affected by his lack of work.

“at least you have time for a life. I mean you get to eat peacefully and enjoy taking midday naps.” You said with a smile hoping that it would cheer him up.

“I guess” he said before he let out a soft sigh “it gets tough being alone though. And since I cant really go outside and just do whatever I want to do, I almost just kind of wish that I would be working more.” He confessed.

You had no idea what you could say to make johnny feel better. And If you could make him feel even a fraction of a bit better you would do so in a heart beat.

You had always known that the companies of idol groups tend to have favorites and display that unequal kindness quite unashamedly. But to hear how sad johnny was and see the look in his eyes, you had realized that there could be a lot more hurt than you had ever thought.

The two of you ate comfortably as you enjoyed the food that johnny had prepared. The two of you had made small jokes back and forth with one another and it felt good to feel the energy of the room switch from sad to lively.

“if you ever want to eat lunch with me just text me” you said holding your hand out for johnny’s phone

“really?” johnny asked with a smile. He immediately looked down at your hand and eyed it for a moment before he placed his hand in yours.

You laughed and shook his hand off “not your hand! Give me your phone weirdo!”

“oh” was all he said as he fished his phone out from his pocket and handed it over to you

You quickly put your phone number into his phone and then handed it back to him. He looked at the contact and then smiled to himself before placing it back into his back pocket.

The two of you had wrapped up your meal and you were about to leave the practice rooms when suddenly johnny had cleared his throat, making you turn around.

“soo” he said as he put his hand on the back of his neck out of nervousness “I just wanted to say thank you for having lunch with me and being so fun… I really like you. And it’s a shame that you’ve already got a boyfriend.”

You were speechless that johnny had just said that he liked you. It was something that you could never even imagine would happen in this lifetime… or well ever. And yet after two days of knowing each other he has already said that he likes you. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and you felt like you were the most successful fan ever. Not only did you get to work with your favorite idols but you also got to-

“did you just say boyfriend?!” you asked him confused

Johnny looked back at you perplexed and he nodded his head. You took a second to think if you had ever mentioned anything about dating anyone or even liking anyone and you kept coming up short.

“what boyfriend?” you asked him

Johnny gave you a strange look before he finally answered you “Baekhyun said that you already had a boyfriend.” He looked up at the ceiling as if he was wracking his brain and trying to remember something “someone who was also from the states… I think he said his name was corey.”

“cole” you said to clarify

“yeah cole!” johnny said snapping his finger and pointing at you in confirmation.

You scoffed and looked down at your shoes. You couldn’t believe that Baekhyun would lie about something like whether you were single or not. Why would he even lie to begin with?

You were starting to feel like who your impression of Baekhyun was, was only who he wanted you to see. and the more that you were talking with other people about events involving him, the more that you found lie after lie. This on top of the whole phone incident was starting to not sit well with you and you were starting to lose some of your good impressions of him. And while it hurt to feel like the excitement from the night previously was diminishing you figured that it would be for the best to not get yourself involved with him anymore.

“yo hyung!” johnny called out to someone behind you and it snapped you out of your thoughts “did’nt you say that Emily had a boyfriend?”

You immediately turned around to see Baekhyun who looked like a frozen deer in headlights. You stayed put in your spot and watched as he panicked as to what to do next. He continued to choke on his words and with a scoff you turned around to face johnny once more.

“no I don’t have a boyfriend” you clarified to johnny “Cole is just one of my friends”

“oh” johnny said nonchalantly “well then if you aren’t seeing anyone would you maybe like to go out sometime?” he asked with a shy smile

You would be lying if you said that you were excited. The fact that Baekhyun was here and was still acting so shady had completely ruined your mood.

You knew that dating within the company was definitely a no-no. and while it wasn’t a written rule per say it was definitely an unspoken one, because the idols available image was very important to their marketability. But in this moment you wanted Baekhyun to get the message to stay away from you loud and clear.

Without a second though you smiled up to johnny, giving him your best fake smile before answering “sure. Id love that”

You didn’t care if Baekhyun had felt bad about seeing you and johnny agree to a date. It had infuriated you that he was manipulating so many people and doing so many shady things. And hopefully now he would leave you alone.

[rockettransman]

Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.