#bruce wayne: now if I were bruce wayne what motive(s) would i misinterpret for such a text?

[emma-d-klutz]

Clark telling someone on the Daily Planet who only knows him vaguely as a coworker that, sorry, he really cant take any of that Wayne Ent job off him. Why? Well he sure would like to be of help but journalistic integrity and all. Oh you don't know? Wayne is one of his best friends. No for real. No really! Like probably slot 5 of his top 5 favorite people in the world if he's ranking. (No, Lois isn't first. His mom is first. Which Lois knows but don't like say that I said that.) Right Wayne! No yeah for real love the idiot. You haven't seen him come around? Yeah and he always calls Clark the wrong name as a joke because we're friends. Dude I'm not lying to get out of this! Why would I lie? Ok yeah it is an annoying assignment...

Hang on.

Clark texts someone on his phone. Waits a beat. Gets a text back. Calls someone. It's ringing. It picks up.

"You're on speaker, B."

"Sorry just had to get somewhere quieter-" It is so loud in the background Wayne is nearly screaming into the phone. "Oh yeah Clark was with me all last week. Whatever you saw was someone else. In fact, he saved my life up there. I broke part of my spine on a fall and was partially paralyzed instantly, and he had to carry me over his shoulder. But then after five hours of carrying me, his adrenaline gave out, and so did his legs. So we're both on the ground in a pile right near the ledge, and we start sliding that direction, and I think to myself -I distinctly remember- I think to myself that if we're going to die, at least I get to die looking at intrepid reporter Clark Kent, who is waaay more ripped than he looks with a shirt on and has the most soulful blue eyes. And then we were saved or something because he's such a genius that he rewired his phone and rigged it to get a signal even in the middle of nowhere on the fly and called for a helicopter. Or something like that. I don't know. But yeah thats why Clark's been gone, and if you thought you saw him, you saw someone else. I mean that haircut is everywhere. Did you know he set that trend? Anyway I gotta go."

The line goes dead. Clark and the coworker look blankly at each other for a moment.

".....You were here all last week."

"Sorry. I didn't text him why I needed him to say he knows me, so I think he just.... tried to cover all the bases."

(Bruce is in several layers of method acting ofc but Jimmy, Hal, Ollie, Dinah, Kara, and several more all gleefully corroborate it immediately when given the opportunity and even yes-and onto it, and now Clark's journalistic integrity is going towards reminding his coworker that he was here last week I promise they're all doing bits )