#bruh the desert never stops getting me lost in it for hours

[scarletooyoroi]

Two things hitting the Genshin brain today.

From a pure architectural standpoint, I would love to see how big Gurabad truly was when extended to one piece. As it stands, it was a city that had a layer above and below the desert sands, all woven with stonework and actually so furturistically set compared to other places, it's genuinely kind of nuts.

We could see the insane level of sacrifice and horrors it took to orchestrate that however.

Cause the idea of this is wild.

On another hand. Running around introduced me to this sight again.

Rhukkadevata's terms of vegetation from her power always led to fresh greenery, actual life trying to stick back into locations. (Which can get confused to what Jinni fragments infused into the ground can reproduce as well, but still!)

This feels undeniably Nabu Malikata however, which serves to also tap my intrigue.

So much of her remnants are actually in this more vicious line of life. Primarily how the vegetation grows in this brand of thorny magnificence while always sprouting violet flowers. Which-- upon a closer look..

Does feel like it has a tinge of that abyssal influence running strong in its veins.

And I'm finding concentrations of these mystery meat alien snakes hanging close to it!

And some unknown energy is just radiating it from it at this point. :I The fact that above this particular portion that a hole unveiling fresh moonlight onto these surroundings is no thematic coincidence either. ...Actually, these deadass just padisarahs due the story quest giving that good good food.

ABOUT THAT PAIMON--

Re-Exploring through the old content is fun for the slow paced patches.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (April 26)

I haven’t made one of these for a while, and after the first draft went and deleted itself, I wondered whether it was worth making another one (I make these primarily for myself then get really surprised whenever people notice these). During harsh times like these, I find myself being drawn to the cheesiest and the most cringe-inducing shows, but maybe I just like them because you can put them on double-speed without missing a thing because you know what’s going on. It’s like instant noodle broth: satisfying, warming, but you know it’s going to kill your insides with self-crisis. Seriously, I didn’t come to terms that I really, really like romance as a genre until a little while ago. 

With that being said, I want to take a short break from romance now. 

I often ask myself, “Why are you watching these when you can be watching really good anime?” Well, that’s probably because I don’t want to have my analytical brain on right now. I want to watch an anime that takes two brain cells to enjoy. I only have two. Once I garden some more, maybe then will I get into the stuff I know I will enjoy like Hunter x Hunter (2011)

Things that I just started but couldn’t get into

NHK ni Youkoso! (1/24)

For one, I didn’t want to watch this before because it would’ve hit too close to home. The show’s about a NEET aka a freeloader (not in employment, education, or training), and I’m... almost that description (but that’s mostly because of the pandemic). Really, this show is riddled with paranoia, and it wants you to really know that with its changing art styles to its cynical script lines to its main character honestly needing some help (seriously, he needs help). I read further (aka spoilers) and realized that I probably won’t have fun with this anime right now, and I will never touch the manga because that stuff is even more insane than its adaptation. NHK ni Youkoso is about people who fall between the cracks of normal standard society and their desire to seek their own normal by any means necessary, and during stressful times, I think it belongs on the backburner.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei (2/12)

After seeing how much I enjoyed Kakushigoto (which will be mentioned later, I just thought, “Wow, I want to see that other really famous work!” I didn’t enjoy it at all. I forgot why I put the series on-hold. It’s about a suicidal teacher who will stop at nothing to die then ask people why they almost killed them. Through a bunch of errors, he ends up becoming some sort of a harem king to his students (and he attracts the weirdos). I enjoyed the lengths Studio Shaft went to to make this anime appear the way it does (which helps in a lot of ways), but I just can’t continue with it until a much later date.

Appare-Ranman! (2/?)

I just lost interest after looking at the rest of the cast. I’m all for being vibrant and out there, but some of those character designs imitate more of a “racial stereotype/caricature”. I’m not saying that I dropped the show only because of that (I’m quite dense when it comes to that), but I didn’t like the characters either. I can’t get behind a show that won’t let me enjoy it a single moment over two episodes. 

I’ll pick it up again later (probably)

Free! (5/12)

I feel like they’re shoving fanservice a lot. I try to skip every fanservice scene, and I managed to watch up to episode 5 in less than an hour, and I didn’t even get through them all. But I will say that ending is stuck in my head now. (humming)

This show has taken me at least two attempts to watch so far. Let’s see how many more it takes before I finish/give up!

Darker Than Black (18/25)

I’ll probably finish this one for the sake of finishing it. I just find that the episodic nature gets stale after a while, and the overarching story is often disregarded. In exchange, we do get some fun side stories, character development, and world building, but I’d like to settle down too, you know?

Clannad (1/23)

Yeah, I’m doing that now. I’m going to see whether my feels bones are as strong as they were before... after I take a hiatus because I’m not sure if I’m in the appetite for that kind of romance now that I’ve watched two shoujo in a row. 

Sousei no Onmyouji (20/50)

I bet you, someone was like, “Let’s throw all these shounen cliches into a pot then see what comes out!” Bruh, this is bordering that story I wrote when I was 14, and I’m not even dissing this anime. I enjoyed it but need a break now. It’s very cliche, predictable, and honestly, I can see why it has such a low rating. Studio Perriot likes cutting corners sometimes with their long-running series (*stares at Naruto*), and this anime is no exception. Sometimes, it feels like a visual novel. “We don’t need to animate anything if she’s so fast that no one can see her.” Dang, but it gets repetitive. It also has a magical girl power that only works when the main couple does it? Cool, but that also gets repetitive. I just didn’t see myself watching the same thing another 30 times (at least right now).

Maison Ikkoku

I’m actually on the fence about continuing this one. It’s really sweet, but I’ve had my fill of romance. I have been wanting to watch some more Rumiko Takahashi works though. There’s no reason for me not to continue this. It gives me strong Princess Jellyfish vibes (which I should also finish). 

Recently Finished

Itazura na Kiss

Just... end my suffering. It’s not worth it. The thing about shoujo anime is that I watch it late at night when my brain is at its worst when it comes to analyzing or taking in any emotional circumstances. Then I asked myself, “Would I want any young, impressionable people to watch this?” And my first thought was “F**K NO!” This anime was an absolute trainwreck. As my Discord friend put it “It’s so bad, yet you can’t look away!” But what makes this anime unique? What sets it apart? It shows life after high school. Just like Clannad, it shows that life is more than your secondary education. There is more to life than just being a teenager. I’m not saying these characters ever grew though because that’d be a FAT JOKE. 

Episodes 1-13: Girl gives boy a love letter. He laughs and doesn't even want it and goes "no thanks". Girl gets upset. Then they find out they're living under the same roof after the girl's dad made them a house out of popsicle sticks (because the dads are childhood friends). She keeps trying to push herself onto him, and his mom joins in and is plotting so much more than you'd expect. The best part is that this main girl already has a childhood friend who's like "please marry me. I'll cook for you, work for you, take a bullet for you, slice my head off if it means you won't chip a nail--" then the girl replied by chasing after the guy who calls her stupid on a daily basis and genuinely believes she can't do anything. 

Episodes 14-25: Guy gets dragged to his own wedding and generally does not care for the girl unless she’s either not looking or is on death’s bed. He practically deserts her every other time, and we’re supposed to think it’s romantic when he finally gives a crap about his wife (even when she’s pregnant). The show constantly reminds you that even other characters have doubts that our main character cares about anyone other than himself and his aloofness. They have a bunch of missed affairs including a hoe that tries to leave her husband on her honeymoon to get with Mr. Aloof and a nursing student that genuinely cares about MC and the fact that her husband doesn’t care about her at all.

The moral of the story of this anime: If you chase after somebody long enough, they will cave in and marry you even if they don’t like you, want you, insult you, bully you, or generally show all the signs of an unwilling partner.

Anyway, this anime is crap. I can’t believe I watched it. I want those few hours back (I fast-forwarded a lot, okay?) I can’t believe I finished it. Looking back makes me want to press undo. Having this under my history is a shame to my family. Even if I was sleepy and generally out of it, that’s no excuse for choosing this. Sayonara

 I will say that Daisuke Hirakawa and Nana Mizuki did give good character voices despite the circumstances. That, and I haven’t heard from Hirakawa besides those couple of scenes from School Days (which... is a different type of romance), Free! (which I dropped when his character joined), that gumball scene from Jojo, and that introduction to him being the new Demon Slayer villain. I didn’t realize he was that old though.

Special A

This is one of the anime that my sister watched, and I thought, “I need to be reminded of what a somewhat healthy relationship can be” I wasn’t disappointed because the last anime left such a bad taste in my mouth that literally anything could’ve soothed the aching wound which was bad decision making. Even under regular circumstances, I probably still would’ve enjoyed it, but since it came at the right time, I give it an extra nod of approval. I also never realized that the second opening was inadvertently drilled into my brain because I kept overhearing my sister watching it. Now that I’ve grown up, I realize I was listening to the voices of some of my favourite seiyuu. Go figure. 

The story was really sweet with characters that I genuinely liked by the end (not my favourite cast by a very long shot, but it was slightly above average). It was slightly above average for me in a lot of ways (ironically), and it was enjoyable. The art is very fitting for its time, the music was very... ordinary, and the story was simple enough that you knew exactly what was going to happen at any given moment. This show should be titled: Special A(ppreciation for those brave people who have fallen in the friendzone; we’ll get ‘em next time). 

Akatsuki no Yona OVAs 

Unlike the actual TV series, this stuff actually ends conclusively without ending on the CLIMAX OF THE BIG ARC. SERIOUSLY, I WAS ROBBED. You can say, “There’s a perfectly good manga right there.” Shut up. I want my fight scenes animated with a big helping of a strong female lead. It gave me a sudden appreciation for Hiro Shimono and his character Zeno who literally just inserted himself in last minute in the anime (but these OVAs perfectly explain everything). You probably shouldn’t watch the anime without watching these OVAs because they’re canon, funny, and touching at times. It enhances the series.

According to the animation, we know it can do fight scenes. Give us another season, cowards! Actually, it’s Studio Perriot, so if we ever get it, it might be two stickmen duking it out. 

Haikara-san ga Tooru Movie 2

You know, I really enjoyed the movie. The first one. This one? Not so much. Actually, I felt so done. I was looking forward to this so much. It’s like going to a restaurant, expecting really good pasta, and then being served some leaves from the weeds out back. Eventually, it tastes better when you add some dressing and cheese, but it still isn’t a bowl of pasta. This show casts aside everything I like about it (present-tense because they didn’t kill everything of it) and leaves one little inkling of its valued ideas. Instead, we get a romance-chasing movie that feels a bit more like an amnesia fiction that’s slightly higher quality than usual. I can’t say I regret watching the movie. There were some redeeming qualities, but they jumped from a 9/10 to a high 6/10 that managed to squeak itself into an overall 7/10. 

(This gif is from the first movie, but I can’t find any from the second movie anyway)

Currently Watching (Not Seasonal)

Samurai Champloo

This anime is a staple of Shinichiro Watanabe, and after this, I will probably watch Cowboy Bebop, Carole & Tuesday, and Space Dandy. I did enjoy Sakamichi no Apollon and Zankyou no Terror. 

Plus, after all that romance, I need some samurai slaughter. The fight scenes and the music get me every time. I don’t even need to say anything else about the anime. The fight scenes are enough to watch alone.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Straight to the Dark

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. I hate this movie. I hate it. It’s bad, man. Fundamentally terrible. It’s a bad Star War. It’s a bad film in general. Everything is terrible. All of it. It’s so terrible. Here’s a list of the terrible stuff:

The Bad

Movie gives away the massive twist in a test crawl. It literally says that Palpatine called the galaxy and said, “Surprise, b*tch. Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” That’s how this movie starts. That’s how i knew it was going to be a bad time.

Sh*t goes into montage of Kylo Ren murdering a bunch of nameless asshole. No plot progression of thematic weight. We don’t know who any of these assholes are, he’s just in the woods, with an entire battalion of Stormtroopers, murdering cats for one of the many, many, mcguffins in this fetch quest of a goddamn film.

Where did all of the Stormtrooper bodies go? They just f*cking disappeared. There’s, like, three of these asshole. Kylo had an entire ship of troops. The f*cc is shot continuity??

The movie doesn’t tell you this because f*ck being good at telling a story, but the people Kylo is slaughtering are Vader Occultists. hat’s right, they worship Darth Vader as a god and yet, here they are trying to murder his living, breathing, grandson? For real? He’s their version of Jesus and you’re going to fight him to the death over some sh*t that probably belongs to him anyway by birthright? Okey-dokey.

gain, none of that is stated or shown in the actual film. F*ck thematic weight or unique story telling, we got an entire original trilogy to wank instead.

So, five minutes in, Kylo finds Palpatine and the “Emporer” is like, “It was me, Barry.” and shows him a bunch of Snoke clones in a jar or some sh*t. Wat. What the f*ck ws all that sh*t Snoke was talking then? About being older than the Sith and talking all that good sh*t? How could Snoke have trained anyone in anything if he was a f*cking puppet the whole time??

Smash cut to Finn yelling about some sh*t. F*ck, they murdered the agency in this character, man. Former Stormtrooper, abandoning his space Nazi rhetoric to became a freedom fighter, who is possibly force sensitive? And he’s one of the six black folks in a galaxy, far, far, away? Hell yeah! Two movies later, syke! Finn is a weenie that can’t do anything by suck Rey’s dick. Welcome to Kathleen Kennedy’s “Force is Female” agenda, boys! Take all of the agency and creativity for the male leads and give it to Rey because f*ck you!

And before you brand me some neckbeard chauvinist, i have no problem with all of the mary sueness that is Rey. There are ways, in-universe, to explain that. No, i am upset that all of that mary sueness came at the expense of literally every other main character in this goddamn trilogy! It’s dope Rey is so strong for no goddamn reason. whatever, f*ck you, but to sacrifice and semblance of an interesting supporting cast? Really? are you serious right now? How does that a good story, make? specially when there was so much fertile ground to develop at the end of Awakens.

Uncanny valley Carrie Fisher. They cut old footage of her into this flick because Rey needs a master. guess what? Se had one. Guess what? Mark Hamil is actually still alive! Why did you need Fisher when you could have just not killed Luke or had him actually train her in Last Jedi or not killed him off so he could be around to enrich Episode IX like everyone had signed up for? Instead, yall decide to Frankenstein old footage of Carrie Fisher into this flick in the most clumsy way possible.

How the f*ck is Carrie Fisher versed well enough in the force to teach Rey anything?? What does she even know?? She literally stopped 30 f*cking years ago! How are you a master of anything?

So, the exposition in this movie is absurd. Cats just sit round in a group and tell you the plot. Constantly. There is literally no time for this film to actually show you hings barbecue we gotta get this sh*t done, so they just TELL you EVERYTHING in a goddamn MOVIE!

This movie feels like the climax of a film, for 2nd a half hours. And not just any film because Endgame did that to wildly different results, but a bad film. Like, a Michael Bay film. It feels like the ass shots and explosions of the end to a Michel Bay film, but the entire movie. It has about the same amount of substance and urgency as f*cking The Rock or some sh*t, with all of the narrative strength to boot.

They keep referring to Anakin’s lightsaber as Luke’s, this entire trilogy, and it’s pissing me off. Luke’s saber was green because he was a Jedi Sentinel. He wanted to know the ways of the Force. That was his path to Mastery. Anakin’s was blue because he was a Jedi Guardian. He wanted to use the force to protect those around him since he had lost so much. That’s why he was so skilled at dueling. Luke’s lightsaber f*cking disappeared or some sh*t. It ws never addressed.

Bro, this teleporting sh*t. For real? The Force is basically telekinesis and telepathy. It’s not magic, my dude. What the f*ck is this teleporting bullsh*t all of a sudden? There is no precedence for this in Legends or canon. you can’t keep ex machina-ing sh*t, especially when the driving force of your narrative is a goddamn mcguffin chase!

Jetpack Stormtroopers that launch from the back of desert motorcycles. The entire sentence is some sh*t a fourteen year old try-hard would write in his fan fiction. It has no place in a proper Star War. Bad J.J. Bad.

Stormtroopers can hit the broad side of a barn yet, this one jetpack trooper not only blew up both of your getaway vehicles, but did it mid flight? For real? b*tch, how? Were THEY using the goddamn force??

Nope! Plot contrivance because they needed to get tuck in that specific quicksand, right specifically now!

Force Heal? Really? F*ck, whatever, man. Force Heal. Force Teleport. F*ck, I’m surprised there’s not Force Time Travel. Sh*t man, there might be. Palpatine is alive and he blew the f*ck up when his Death Star did!

Everything about C-3PO and this stupid Sith dagger mcguffin. Everything.

Oh, Poe. I thought they did Finn dirty bit you? Holy sh*t. Dude was a Spice runner? Really? Not even a hint to any of that before but now, because there’s no time to actually flesh out his character properly, you just drop that? When we first met, you were an ace pilot and hero for the Resistance. Rian Johnson got his claws into you with Kathleen Kennedy’s blessing, and you became a mutinous manbaby. Now, you’re an outright space coke runner. Character assassination at it’s finest, if you can call what they gave Poe a character to begin with.

First Order blockade mcguffin, i choose you! Thank you faceless character i just met that Poe has apparently known for decades or whatever, f*ck you!

More Force Teleport fighting!

Dyad in the Force, huh? okay. I thought Snoke did that to f*ck with Kylo in the last movie but whatever. I don’t care anymore. F*ck you.

So Rey finds out she’s a Palpatine and has an emotional crisis. For less than a minute because f*ck emotional levity or character growth, we gott get this sh*t done!

So you introduce an entire platoon of Stormtrooper deserters, give Finn a non-Jedi love interest, and just gloss over all of that with a single conversation of exposition? Really? That could have been a really great part of his person journey but NOPE! F*CK YOU!!

Leia dies for no apparent reason. apparently, when you use your Force powers after a long time, you just croak? Okey-dokey.

Kylo Ren outright dominates Rey until he feels his mom die and Rey take an opportunity to sucker stab him in the gut. AND THEN she feels Leia die. Really? Why do you never see the force when you’re supposed to? Your f*cking master just just croaked and it visibly traumatized her sun and your first instinct is to f*king murder him? for real, b*tch?

Han Solo ghost. Apparently, that n*gga was a secret Jedi or some sh*t. I dunno. F*ck you.

So Rey heals Kylo, steals his ship, and flies off to Luke’s hermit world just to throw a goddamn tantrum until Luke’s Force Ghost shows up and tell her to calm her tits. He physically interacts with her. He raises his old X-Wing so she can fly to Pappy Palpatine’s Ice Shack.  WHY HAS HE NOT BEEN HELPING TO TRAIN HER THIS ENTIRE F*CKING TIME???

Speaking of that X-Wing, how the f*ck can it even fly?? It’s literally been underwater for at least two decades.

Also, Luke had a Jedi wayfinder? n*gga, how? Rey destroyed the one she got off the Death Star II corpse. Where the f*ck did this other one come from??

Pappy Palpatine has spent the last two or three decades creating a fleet of Star Destroyers with Death Star cannons connected to them and, in that time, he couldn’t clone himself a proper body? Are you serious?? I feel like resources probably should ave been devoted to that first. Motherf*cker has jars upon jars of Snokes but you expect me to believe that they couldn't create one, legitimate, clone? Are you serous? These motherf*ckers hollowed out an entire planet and put a gun in it that use suns as bullets, but you can’t clone a decent body to put yourself in? For real?

Speaking of these Death Star Destroyers, why do they still have the same goddamn weakness of the Death Star I?? Bro, you had sixty f*cking years to fix this ONE goddamn problem and Nope! Blow up the gun, blow up the ship! My guy, two Death Stars and a Starkiller Planet but you ain’t fix this one flaw??

Okay. Okay... Palpatine’s grand plan, aside for try-trying-tryinging-tryinginging the world gun plan again, is to have Rey kill him so his Force Ghost can Force Possess her body. What is she just walks away? What is he just says no? This is a bad plan, man.

Oh! i forgot. Hux was the spy. Because he outright says it, audibly, in the middle of a First Order starship, which is notorious for having all sorts of monitoring system like cameras and microphones, right before he’s murdered for being the spy! Bruh.

Ben Solo shows up, redeemed for some reason, and promptly gets his ass handed to him by the Knights of Ren. Until Rey Force Teleports his grandad’s light saber to him, at which point his entire style changes and he slaughters his bros. MAGIC!!

We Force Draining life  to regrow my zombie body out’chea, manq!

After Rey properly Mace Windu’s Pappy Palpatine into oblivion, she dies for no apparent reason. WHY??

Wasn’t this EXACTLY what Pappy wanted? he WANTED her to kill him so he could haunt her titties or some sh*t? You did exactly the plan, man! Why didn’t it work?? PLOT CONTRIVANCE, THAT’S WHY!

F*cking Reylo, dude. F*cking Reylo...

Ben dies at the end. For no goddamn reason. And fades away to Jedi Ghost immortality. Proper Skywalker boss sh*t!

I hope he Forced Knocked Up Rey. Gotta keep that line alive and Ben was caressing her tum-tum real passionately.

Why the f*ck would she just move into Luke’s house on Tatooine? That place is the worst! it’s got terrible history with all of the Skywalkers, including Anakin! That’s just bad juju right there.

Where the f*ck did Rey get that Yellow Kaiburr crystal from?

“I’m Rey. Rey Skywalker.”

You had forty, real life years, worth of material to pull from and seven years to come up with a way to stick this landing and you sh*t the bed this hard? Really? Nothing is earned. Nothing is deserved. It’s all just a sticky wet fart.

The Verdict

Admittedly, those are issues i had as a fan. I would put on my movie critic hat and properly critique why, functionally, this is a bad film but i am too tired to do that now. Look, man, this thing has potential. There are so many plot threads that could have gone somewhere but Rise is not about that life. They’re here to do everything in their power to retcon everything Last Jedi and Kathleen Kennedy allowed to happen therein. And they do that well enough but at the expense of their own goddamn narrative. This was course correction that should have been two, entire, separate, films. So much good sh*t could have been gleaned from this narrative if it was two proper movies but corporate was like nah, bruh. Get this sh*t done. We’ll stop making these things for two years and people will forget. Nope.

You can’t forget this sh*t. I can’t forget this clusterf*ck i just wasted my life watching. And it didn’t have to be! That’s what kills me! There is more than enough in this film to redeem the franchise. If this specific story was broken up; If these plot points and characters were given enough room to breathe, sh*t could have worked! Ther eis so much fertile ground here to craft a dope story for fans, old and new but NOPE! F*ck that! Cowabunga it is! We’re going to cram all of that sh*t into one movie and f*ck you! We’re going to spend half the narrative erasing The Last Jedi instead of progressing this plot because f*ck you! We’re going to bring back someone who had to be unspoken, impossibly, resurrected to win back the fans because f*ck you! Give them some goddamn Reylo because f*ck You! That’ll shut you the f*ck up! F*ck this movie, man. This sh*t could have been special but you let an ego driven, misandrist ruin forty years of canon for the clout.

Watching this goddamn movie made me piss blood, man, that’s how much it hurt.