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btsxyou · 8 years

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The New World

Part II || Part I

Genre: AU, set in the 1920s (including all 1920s things)

Summary: Hoseok is the son of one of the wealthiest families in the country. His only goal is to tarnish the family name. But sometimes family matters at the strangest times, and sometimes even someone as wholesome and hardened as Hoseok can’t figure it out.

The sweep that jazz made through the city ran its way through small undergrounds clubs that were exclusive to few, but it broadened itself out and ran through all the dress shops in the city and became an ‘exotic’ type of craze. Coming to life in its progress were dresses with fringe, and an array of costume jewelry. It was a near recent realization that jewels could be faked in all sorts, placed in rings and necklaces and beading on dresses so that girls of the night could catch the light as they danced.

You and Hoseok walked through the city streets, for once coming out in the daylight and looking around at what people were like in the sun. The streets were wet and sloshy with snow that desperately wanted to hold on, but the sun was forcing it to melt away against its own attempts. It wasn’t ideal for your shoes to be walking through this type of mess, but Hoseok was restless today and wanted to go out more than anything. The weather surprisingly wasn’t as biting as you thought it would be, the wind wasn’t blowing all in fact, it seemed to have warmed with the sun, and the streets seemed lively and inviting with the slight change in weather.

Wandering the city when it came to Hoseok was always aimless, but like any fake drifter there was something in his subconscious that drew him to areas of the city. Many of the shops on the streets were catering to new fashions of the time, there were tailors and higher end stores that were accustomed to seeing that you and Hoseok visit ever so often, and since he was such the young socialite of a wealthy family they often offered him their clothing free of charge, just to get their name out there. It was true that he was well dressed, but it was also true that he was something of an innovator. Suits weren’t particularly comfortable, it was often, especially in summer, to see Hoseok in an undershirt only, or a sweater. Most men dressed it up to some extent with a tie or bowtie but he kept it simple, and sometimes untucked, unbuttoned. It was important to him that his image, glossed over by him being a wealthy young socialite and much desired bachelor, was representative of his true self. Well knowing, but with a lack of care.

You stopped in front of a shop window, looking at the dresses on display, your mind wandering through all of their uses. You were still desperately trying to come up with a plan… One that was more daring. That would really cause a mess but… it was hard. What could you possibly do at this point? Everything everyone did in this city was overlooked. If only you could be a part of some raid gone bad, but you heard they let girls like you escape and just trapped the men in the bar and arrested them if they had to. Bars across this city went dry just thinking about the possibility of a raid. With the amount of money Hoseok had to spare and the name he had to ruin, he could easily turn to bootlegging, it was his style at least.

Old money hated the ways of new money.

Hoseok began to say something about the dresses, maybe how one would look great somewhere, but you caught something out of the corner of your eye, the feeling of being watched consumed you almost immediately, and you thought maybe you saw someone you knew. Whoever it was, they disappeared around a corner pretty quickly without another thought in your direction, but your eyes stayed focused behind Hoseok at the corner of the street. His smile faded as he looked at you, unable to hold your attention.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, finding it weird that you weren’t looking at the stores merchandise anymore as he was.

“No, sorry. I thought I saw someone I knew.” You shook your head, trying to show absolutely nothing about it on your face, but your mind was deep in thought.

“I thought you didn’t know anyone here?” He huffed out a small laugh, the best that he could, thinking that he could be so sure of one thing about you.

“I don’t. They just looked familiar. It was no one.” No one, you thought again to yourself. Thats all anyone from your past was to you at this point. It would be really strange to see someone from your hometown in this type of place. Many people moved to the city, but not this far. Right? Why would they be here anyways? What will you do if it really is them?

The feeling was uneasy, it made you nervous and anxious to leave, a gnawing feeling inside you although they were gone now. It was just a bad feeling, that things were beginning to creep back into your mind, guilt you, make you feel sad… You knew Hoseok was tired and felt cramped up in his room and that your room was not only off limits to him but somehow even smaller than his. He needed the fresh air and the change in scenery, but he also didn’t like how the strange non-encounter had left you. He would never know otherwise but your face was saying too much, you looked scared and repulsed at the same time.

“We should go.” He offered, respectful of how you felt about the moment. Charm, as always.

Your thoughts were in one direction, and you remained quiet the entire walk home. You wanted to pretend like it was no one you saw, that you were being ridiculous, that your eyes were playing games. But the feeling it gave you couldn’t lie, and you had no choice but to think that it was them. Someone. You had no idea what they wanted but you wanted to leave, you wanted to avoid being seen out anywhere for a little while, but how would you relay that type of message to Hoseok? How do you say it?

Once slumped in Hoseok’s chair like you do, in that terrifyingly bored way that makes him laugh to himself, you still said nothing at all. It made Hoseok terribly curious, and almost worried. You knew what he was thinking of course, and that he knew better than to burden you with any questions about it unless you wanted to talk about it yourself. Until then, he knew he would have to wait. You let your mind wander to those dresses you saw in the shop windows, they really were beautiful and could be useful even if you wanted to dive deeper into the belly of the beast.

“I wanna dance.” You finally said.

“Dance?” He was standing across from you, still antsy so he was unable to sit or get anything done, but he had no problem talking to you especially if it was part of a new plan.

“Yeah, Hoseokie, I wanna dance. Don't ya think I could? Be one of those babes of jazz… That’ll really turn some heads.” You were plucking at some of your bobbed hair, squinting off into the distance imagining the beaded fringe swinging as you hopped around, glittering in the lights of some underground jazz club.

“Then I suppose you need some new dresses, shoes… anything at all. We can put in an order this week at the shop. I’m sure they’ll love to hear from us.” That was the way he worked. He enjoyed the wealth as long as he wasn’t the one using and abusing it.

At first, you were overwhelmed, thinking he was just overly kind, and you had trouble trying to see why he was so bitter over having money. Before you even came to this school you were scrounging what you could, doing anything at all to even get by, so that your family could live comfortably at least until your next meal. At least Hoseok was able to live in a way that worrying wasn't even part of this vocabulary, even if it may not have been ideal. It wasn’t your plan to get into a life of crime, but it was what you had to do. Your mother had been ill, your father had been taking losses almost every place he worked, hours being cut back, pay being cut back. It was a struggle anywhere you turned. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to help them, but you knew you had to get outta there and get someplace else. Someplace where you could really be free from everything you once were.

It was hard to keep a job for a working man like your father. The most recent technological advances in factories meant that many workers were being laid off all year round with little to do, and a skill set that was now rendered useless. The country itself was rich, but that didn’t mean every human on his surface was able to live well.

All you had back home was some dream to live on, and a stretch at that. Nothing had changed much around you, but there were those fearless vixens of the night, their hair getting shorter and shorter each time you saw them. In your mind you pretended you had the hair, that you were a frequent at a bar, dancing with friends well into the night and really living in the moment, actually living, really, truly living.

And then you found it. The one chance you could to escape. With a letter, tear soaked in regret and shame, you laid it on your small kitchen table, along with a stack of money you knew your family would be able to depend on for at least 6 months alone, no matter what would happen to your fathers job. And with a bag filled with everything you loved and all your nicest clothes, you set off to another city, someplace else. Someplace you could finish going to school without any worry.

A days train ride northeast was bittersweet, a farewell that left you teetering on a sharp edged rock at the top of a cliff. What is there to do now? You managed to gather documents, things that would prove your worth as a human being, something that could get you into a school and keep you going on this alienated path that you chose to take. The choice wasn’t selfish, something you had to tell yourself constantly, when you catch the scent of something in the wind that made you ache for your own mother. There was never quite the time or place to mention how you felt, it was an incident that you had to hide, beneath the itchy wool dress you were left with.

Standing outside one of the most well known schools in the country, you considered turning around and running right back from where you came. Whats done has been done.

That was who you used to be, that was over a year ago, and you only tend to look back on it when Hoseok mentions his parents, and their company. Because you know it all too well. Now you're someone else, with a different name, in a completely different place.

Thinking back on it now, its hard to tell what your family even thought of your disappearance. Women were only paid roughly $22 a week, and it costed just a few more dollars than that to even live. If you hadn’t been doing what you were doing, you could never have left anything for them at all. It was almost as if someone bought you and thought you were worth a pretty penny and left it all for your family.

You had to stop thinking. There was nothing left in your past to dwell on any longer.

“Do you know how to dance?” There was no doubt in your mind he knew how to dance, you knew how from watching girls dance through cracks in doors while you were out in the late nights, and from catching a few people here and there recently. The styles have changed greatly over the past couple years.

He was standing with both hands in his pockets, head leaning to the side graciously. He had that sickening sweet smirk on his lips, his eyes dark as always.

“Do I know how to dance?” His tone was mocking, knowing full well that you also knew. “Am I going to have to be your partner?”

“No,” you said, pretending to be offended. “I don’t want you to dance with me… You won’t be able to keep your hands to yourself.”

“Neither would you.” It was small but you caught it. He had an amazing poker face, but his eyes always gave it away. That small flicker of something absolutely debauched. Of course his whole being was licentious, it was well known, it didn’t give many people much room to judge you as anything different either. You were only his real girl on occasion, who were you to take him away from such a freeing and sexual lifestyle just because you were friends?

Only something so unexpected could break a tension as strong as this.

“Sir, you have a call?” The younger boy was holding the phone, urgently in Hoseok’s direction. It took him a few seconds too many to realize you were in the room, but not because you were simply there. It wasn’t particularly popular to be seen in a boy’s room, but Hoseok had managed quite the amount of girls in his room. The boy was simply startled that you were there, actually having a conversation and nothing more.

Taking the phone from the boy he answered, giving you a look before leaving the room for the telephone room for a more private conversation.

His family rarely called, they resorted to sending letters since Hoseok would not take their calls at all. He had brushed them off so often that the young boy who always answered the floor’s phone knew to say that he was busy or unavailable. Strange indeed that he would choose to take this call, but the boy acted urgently. His mother must be having a serious episode that only her eldest son could cure, what else?

“Pack your bags, sweetheart.” He walked straight to his dresser without even looking at you, pulling out the top drawer to take some items out.

“What’s the matter, Hoseok?”

“Please go pack. I’ll meet you downstairs in 15 minutes.” He was holding a folded shirt in his hands, staring at it as he spoke. You rose from the chair and exited quietly, hurrying down the stairs and out into the winter air to the building that housed your room.

The train ride was lonesome.

Today in particular had been burdened by rain, and it seemed to fit the mood of your train car perfectly. You weren’t sure exactly what was going on, but you knew better than to ask. There was some type of cloud, darker than the ones outside, plaguing Hoseok’s very existence in the seat across from you. The air around him was duller, like a shade was put over him, a damper on his usually bright and charming personality. From this you could only gather it was a grim situation you were unknowingly facing.

He appeared much more sullen than usual, something about it tugged on your heart in the wrong way. Of course he was only human, and everyone had their bad days here and there. But this was much darker. It wasn’t like that, he had been absolutely himself before the call. All you knew was that you were heading back, in the same direction that you had come from a year and a half ago.

The feeling alone made you uneasy, but this wasn’t about you.

The train ride was uneventful, you managed to read a book in the meantime to distract your thoughts, its what Hoseok would prefer anyways. You even caught yourself looking at him, trying to think of a new plan, maybe that would cheer him up just a tad. Anything you could think of to make the days to come seem a little brighter, for the both of you.

Cars were cheap nowadays, not cheap enough that your family was able to own one, but one of the most important things about those in automobiles was that they wanted their product everywhere, so they had to make them available. Wealth for many people was in abundance. This car that you were now sitting in had to be a newer, and much more expensive model. Possibly even custom. It wasn’t the type to break down, and you imagined that for its price it would be able to pull its thin tires out of the mud all by itself.

You had never met Hoseok’s family, only seen his mother and sister in photos, so you weren’t sure who the man driving the car was in particular, but from the greeting he gave Hoseok and the greeting Hoseok had returned, it more than likely wasn’t a relative.

The ride was short, through tall trees, only catching peeks of large estates in their breaks. Each house was bigger than the other, it seemed that they were only getting more grand as the car traveled speedily towards its destination.

It really seemed like a fairytale— of course one cut out of modernity. There were no bountiful of petticoats and no princes— although Hoseok may as well be one. And in his own right, he was the prince of a large steel company, a very valuable man and a very valuable bachelor. Instead it really seemed as if the castles were just large mansions, the princes were sons of wealthy families, all lined up to take over businesses and run the new world they lived in. You were completely unsure of what you were here, not the princess, not the pauper, but something in between. Something just as beautiful and sought after as a princess, but something as hallowed as a pauper. Something very close to pretending, something very close to make believe.

You pulled up to a house— more grand than you could even imagine. It appeared, only getting bigger as the car moved closer to it. It looked like a more industrial version of Grecian style architecture, like the classical period come back to life in the modern day. The road out front was just as wide and opening as the house itself, graced on each side by foliage and grass, the greenest you had ever seen it in your life. As far as you knew, his family created a brand new shade of green just for their on yard. The plants even found themselves winding up the columns at either end, embracing the house in all its wonder and beauty as if it really was a part of nature herself.

The front was partially blocked by stairs, those too lined in shrubbery, and a large fountain in the center. You tried your best to hide your wonder, unsure of what kind of character you were to be playing at this point, but you really and truly had never seen an estate this size, or even set foot on one before. You opened the car door, looking all around you, only being able to see fields of green, and the glint of water in the distance behind the house. So far, it was all so breathtaking.

“Miss, let me take those for you.” The man who drove the two of you here insisted, reaching for your bags as you pulled one out of the seat beside you. You really weren’t good at pretending to be someone else today. With a nervous breathy laugh, you handed the bag to him and he smiled, shutting the car door behind you before he nodded and was on his way.

You waited a second until Hoseok came around to your side of the car, wrapping his arm around your waist as you both began to walk towards the house in all its grandeur, the light tan color of its exterior beckoning you to go inside and see what else it had to offer.

Your heart was racing slightly, still not trying to look too in awe at the scenery around you, but when the front door of the house opened you couldn’t help but to let out a gasp, one that was covered by his own mother’s wailings.

“Hoseok! Oh my darling! I’m so glad you are here, you have come just in time! You must see him right away— Oh! Who is this, dear?” The woman turned to you quickly, pretending as if she had just noticed your presence.

“This is my girl, mother. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I thought it would be proper to bring her along.” Your heart skipped a beat when he mentioned you as his ‘girl’. It was something that occurred so often you barely noticed it, but it was in a different tone, a different circumstance. He didn’t have to bring you here at all, let alone mention you to his family.

“Oh, of course my dearest you have mentioned her a few times. It is so lovely to meet you darling, I feel so rude not being able to greet you properly. Hoseok, please do tend to your grandfather, you must. You must!” She was almost flailing, tears in her eyes. He nodded quickly, and rubbed his hand up and down your back once before leaving the room, and you, behind.

“Dear, I’m so glad that we are to meet now, even under these dire circumstances. Did Hoseok tell you? I’d hate for you to be so unaware, but even I know that my son can be neglectful. I will tell you now then. Please sit,” She waved her hand at the large study-like living area she led you to, walls lined with beautiful portraits, the windows wide and open towards the large body of water you had seen outside. The view, the room and also outside, were both magnificently beautiful, and unimaginable.

“My father has been gravely ill. I’ve postponed in telling Hoseok as long as possible. I know how he felt about him, I didn’t want him to have to be burdened so heavily during his studies. But now I fear I may have contacted him too late. I hope father does not perish sooner than a few days, I will miss him terribly so. I do want Hoseok to have the right amount of time with him, no less and no more. If there’s one thing I know about grief, its as prolonged as the attachment and as deep as your soul itself.”

You listened to her words quietly, examining the way she held herself, even with such poise at talking about the soon-to-be death of her beloved father. At least you presumed it was beloved, from her words to the look in her eye when she spoke, he must have taught her everything she knows, and given her all the opportunities as possible.

“I’m sorry to also burden you with this so suddenly, my doll you must be so confused! I will spare you more details until later. I’m sure you are very tired from your trip as well, let George show you the way to your room, you can freshen up as you please, and come back down when you are ready. He can run you a bath as well, if you wish.”

You rose and followed ‘George’ as he has been named through the large interior of the house, up a grand staircase and down a long hallway until you reached a room where your bags had already been placed. The interior of this whole house was astonishing, extravagant, something that only a queen would know of. Whole rooms within this house had been transported here from Italy and France, set up just in the same way. It was a rare case of authenticity, completely unnecessary but it was more than beautiful.

“Shall I run you a bath, miss?”

“Oh, no thank you,” you said shaking your head shyly. “I believe I will just unpack and freshen up. Maybe later tonight.”

“Anything you wish. Please tell me when and I will attend to you.” He gave a wide smile and then exited the room, closing the grand doors behind him. You slipped the warm coat off your shoulders and removed the gloves from both of your hands, laying them out on the bed to hang them last.

You carried a bag over the to wardrobe, taking your dresses out one by one and hanging them inside, placing your extra pair of shoes inside also, along with a few undergarments and other things. You slipped your mink coat off— the one that you had just remembered with a rush of blood to the face that belonged previously to Hoseok’s mother. As you hung it among your dresses, you hoped silently that she hadn’t noticed. You could always say you happened upon the same design someplace else.

You chose a more casual dress, one much unlike the other you were wearing now.

The bathroom was much bigger than expected, the floors tiled white as well as the walls halfway, with a similar wall design to the bedroom in which it was connected. You also looked at the bathtub in awe, it was not only large but the porcelain structure appeared to be carved so delicately into a beautiful and winding design, marked by straight vertical lines continuing along the rest of its body. The sink was marbled in comparison to the white surrounding it on all sides. There was also mirrors lining the wall, you could see your reflection every which way you turned.

For now you just settled on washing your face the best you could, there were soaps laid out on the sink for you to use, as well as small perfumes. The day had been long, so long in fact that it barely even felt like a day had occurred, it felt like several days had all happened at once. This morning was so disconnected from your reality as of the moment, and was probably done so by the train and car ride to the estate.

The cold water was refreshing, washing the day of travel from your skin, adding moisture back into it from the dry and chapped winter air outside. You wiped at your lips, trying to rid of the ruby tint as well as you could. It was of habit now that you wore it but such types of scarlet were not respectful on ladies lips. You made a small impression you hoped on his mother, but you had yet to meet the rest of his family and wanted to make a good impression. Hoseok had his issues, and you had yours, but you would still be respectful towards them, especially at this time.

You rouged your cheeks lightly, giving yourself a healthy looking blush, nothing as drastic as you could be doing. There wasn’t much to do about your hair though, its short length only allowed you to run a brush through it and hope for the best. All the girls were cutting their hair short, but there was till something about the style that put parents on edge. As you ran the bristles through your hair, your mind wandered to Hoseok.

What kind of thing was there even for you to do now? He desperately wanted to cause a scene, make something happen that his family could not even imagine him to do. Nothing that would cause harm to anyone except his own family. There was something, however, about his mood today and stature that pointed to something that you weren’t used to seeing. He never liked his family, when they were mentioned he became tense without realizing it, like whoever let the name slip struck a chord in him that was the deepest and resonated the most.

You only knew of him what he told you and what you were able to observe. So his actions regarding his grandfather were strange. They were guilty, they were distant and held so much emotion you didn’t know what to make of them at all. It was like his whole demeanor was a flood wall and needed to burst, needed to speak and have the words pour out until they became a very gentle flowing river with little disturbance.

You felt as if you didn’t spend enough time preparing yourself for the evening ahead of you, but you were restless. Your heart was racing although you had barely done anything other than change clothes, and although you were in a very warm and inviting environment you couldn’t help but to feel uneasy or out of place. Your mind was too focused on Hoseok’s situation, the whole reason why you were even here.

Deciding to rejoin his mother downstairs, you leave your designated bedroom and walk down the hall the way you came before— at least you think this is the way you came before. The hallways were massive but they were unfamiliar, there was plenty of room to get lost in this grand of a house, and especially in this hallway. Finally nearing a set of stairs, you notice one door next to them open, and noting the type of door that was on the bedroom you would be staying it, it had to be another bedroom.

The floors were lined with beautiful rugs, so your approach to the single door that was opened wide produced no sound, and left its occupants completely unaware. Looking inside, you noticed a man lying in bed fast asleep, and another man hunched over in a chair beside the bed. It didn’t take you long to recognize Hoseok’s body, although it was partially covered and his back was to you.

Sullen wasn’t the word for it anymore. It wasn’t a mood, it wasn’t something easily overcome. It was morbid, it was languishing. You couldn’t even see his face, but his shoulders sulked so drastically, so far from their usual broad an upright position that it made you wonder. Was it your eyes playing with you so cruelly, or could you see them shaking? Whatever the trick, it made your heart jump so suddenly, not in the way that you much preferred, but in a way that was certainly unsettling.

Lost in thought, you had failed to notice that he was now leaving his grandfather’s bedside. Standing from his chair and facing the open doorway, he wiped at his nose, and his eyes quickly. The tear stained cheeks could not be salvaged so quickly, and remained red and damp despite his desperate attempts. He noticed your figure outside the doorway, and groaned internally in both remorse and anger.

Happening to look up, you noticed his shameful eyes, his face shining the dim light from his tears, his expression…showing something peculiar. You knew immediately that you were in the wrong, you were never to see him this way, and you thought that you never even would. Maybe thats why you couldn’t look away. Maybe thats why you had yet to leave and pretend like nothing happened at all.

He was hesitant, beginning to take a step but stopping abruptly, not even knowing what to do with himself at all. He wanted to disappear, to turn into nothing and float up into the air where emotions where extinct and he could go back to the way he was before, feeling absolutely nothing at all. He needed to move, he needed to go, but where?

He expression changed soon to one of irritation, the idea being given that you had done the worst possible in seeing this, even though you knew it wasn’t you, that feeling was not meant for you at all. All you could do was let him go, and watching him walk towards you and down the large hallway without a further glance was unpleasant. As much as your legs wanted to follow his footsteps, you stayed behind, and instead retreated in the opposite direction, down the stairs to find his family.

Your eyes traced over the gold leafing on the walls, embroidering them with all of its luster. The ceilings in particular where extravagantly designed, and in fact busy. It wasn’t uncomfortably so, but tastefully. It felt like you surely were in another world at this point, a new world that you never thought you’d see yourself.

You subconsciously followed the sound of voices, speaking calmly to one another as you passed through the main and mostly grand foyer, your eyes still focusing on the ceilings, but now taking turns through the frescoes and chandeliers.

You were relieved to know that the room they were in was the same room you sat with his mother in, finally in a room again that was familiar to you. It was oddly refreshing, you felt like a complete tourist in this house. You had to be careful or they would’ve thought you’d never seen a house before in your life.

His mother noticed your presence and smile beautifully at you, it was no wonder Hoseok’s face was so incredibly sculpted, he appeared to have acquired the genes of none less than a goddess. It was strange that you were only nothing this about her now, but maybe you were just getting familiar with her as well.

The man in the chair across from her huffed, a cigar in hand and a glass of brandy on the table next to him.

“This is who he brought? I’m not sure I could’ve expected any less. Can’t you see? He brought home one of them! They’re all over the papers… she’s obviously no good!” He waved the hand holding the cigar about in the air, talking about you as if your presence was not so near. You knew of course in your mind that people would say such things, after all you did have the hair and spent a lengthy amount of time in bars and out in the night. He wasn’t wrong.

But perhaps its too difficult to say really to what extent the adult world has come to think of girls like you, and guys like Hoseok. Unless one was to experience such a drastic contrast such as this, one would understand. The generation before this was much more quiet and did not feel the need to express themselves— especially the women. But girls of your age realized what that meant— it meant losing out on all the fun, staying in every night and acting as someone you really weren’t, craving the liberation that bobbed hair and short dresses gave you. Thats all it was really about. But blown up on a larger scale, and something that would change time forever.

It wasn’t the boys who were even looked upon poorly, it was just the girls. And if Hoseok was to be seen with you no one would think any less of him or find it to be strange, but you they could immediately draw judgment upon. So even though your cheeks were burning underneath an invisible slap that was placed upon your whole character by his father, you had to let the handprint subside and play the part you were given.

You could still be a well mannered and responsible girl. You were not innately bad.

“Hush! My darling,” she waved her arm in hopes that you would sit next to her on the small sofa. “Hoseok has good taste, I trust in that. After all, I did teach him all he knows.”

It was only truly expected that a family of such wealth and status would hold onto such Victorian values. Those were things that were hard to give up, the full household, built on good manners and stable family roles that were rarely challenged or discussed. Every issue seemed to be ignored or faced head on and ended as abruptly as they came.

“It’s almost time for dinner… poor Hoseokie, I wonder if he will even be able to eat. I could excuse it this time. He has many a good reason to skip a meal.” She looked at the floor in front of her, tugging at the small lace trimmed handkerchief in her hands.

“M’am, I could go check on him, I’m worried as well.” You offered, catching his father shaking his head out the corner of your eye. His mother shot him a nasty look, into which his expression changed to almost the complete opposite.

“That would be wonderful. Come back here after you’re finished, and we will have dinner.”

In managing to escape, even if it was for a few minutes, you made your way up the grand staircase, locating Hoseok’s door as quickly as you could, and leaving a light rasp on the thick wooden panels. There must be dozens and dozens of rooms within this mansion, but you learned that the bedrooms all had similar doors.

“Hoseokie…” You murmured into the wood, hoping that at hearing your voice he would open the door. You leaned with your head up against the door frame, waiting for some type of response, hoping that it just wasn’t the silence you heard now.

The door opened quickly, and he pulled you inside by your arm unexpectedly. Your body was pushed lightly against the door causing it to close behind you, as a pair of hands tangled in the back of your bobbed hair. His nose pressed against yours, eyes closed knowing that you would see something in them, however his expression gave it all away. He grimaced in the dim lighting of his bedroom, the light playing off every wrinkle caused by his distress. He was somehow no less beautiful than normal, despite his reddened face and slightly puffy eyes.

He pulled away with a sniffle, realizing that he should probably start acting like himself, strict poker face and emotions on a rain check. You knew that if he wanted to talk he would, he wouldn’t hesitate and he wouldn’t hide. He was perfectly good about being straightforward, but today in particular has been strange for everyone and everything. It was the right time of day for you to just accept this slight change in the weather of this house, of your relationship with Hoseok. Clouds and rain and all. The storm was yet to come.

He sat down on his bed slowly, elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward, head cocked to the side ready to speak. You waited, back against the door, hands intertwined and placed flat against the wooden panels, close enough to the outside world to keep you grounded right here in this moment and not on a completely other universe.

“Who did you see?” He asked finally, his eyes now were calmer, like a gentle tide that settled right after a rough wave. The question was not only surprising, but somehow even inappropriate. It was a type of boundary he knew never to cross at all, but it seemed that those boundaries now were burned, leaving a line of ash that was easily blown apart by the wind letting things like this slip in.

“It’s not time for show and tell Hoseok.” You kept your eyes away from him. Looking at him sometimes made your answers hard to manage. He had a way of working things out of people with a single look, and you were no different under some circumstances. This was one of those times, and on this day you were both fragile in your own ways, shaken ever so violently under your skin.

“I’ll show, you can tell. I think I have a right to know.”

You stared right into the blazing fireplace across from you as he spoke, not wanting to answer at all. Unfamiliar territory, a place where you didn’t want to be as if your life depended on you staying away from it.

“I’ll think about it. Your family is waiting on me, its time for dinner. I need to make a good impression. Will you be coming?”

“Don’t place any bets on me, doll. George will bring me something.” He laid back on his bed, grabbing a book off the nightstand and opening it up to a page you swore was unmarked. How he always knew where to go was a mystery to you.

“I’ll be back after.” You opened the door and escaped the stiff air of his room, forcing yourself now to enjoy a dinner alone with his family.

“I just thought I saw someone I knew.” You had broken the silence clouding Hoseok’s bedroom, after a stalemate of a staring contest. You wanted to tell him, but at the same time you didn’t want him to know a single thing about it.

He looked at you questioningly, his eyes pushing you to keep going.

“Someone I knew from home. I’m not from there, you know that. I think its strange they would be so close. I don’t know why they were there. I don’t look the same as I did then. I’m not sure how they would know how to find me at all. It just kind of… made me feel weird. Thats’s all.” You looked at the floor, almost embarrassed to even talk about it.

“Are they dangerous?” His voice was way more sincere than usual.

“No. I’m just unsure of how they find me and that worries me. As far as I know, I’m dead to everyone in my past. I want to keep it that way.”

“I suppose it’s mine turn now isn’t it?” He said looking down at the floor, taking note that you didn’t want to speak anymore.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, its fine. I’m not expecting anything. You were right anyways, I should tell you about things that may involve both of us like that.”

“This involves both of us too.” He insisted, brows furrowed as he spoke.

“I’m just here because you brought me, don’t mistake that for anything else, or more.”

He looked hurt, as if he expected a different answer, or no answer at all. Either one would’ve been better to him.

“I need to say it. I want this to be fair.” He began, his voice fast and unsure. “She put off telling me. I don’t even want to hear her reason why. I’m angry about it, it was selfish. He was the only person I could really trust to be a real person with me and not hide. He wasn’t about his wealth, he was a good person. He raised my mother to be a good person too, theres things I like about her believe it or not. I know its those parts she got from him. A sharp, bright mind. This is something I can’t figure out, its something I want to mess with and get an answer to the most, but I can’t. For the first time, I’m going to lose. I need to know the answer to this. I can’t go on not knowing. I feel something I can’t explain.”

The room was silent except for the crackling of the fire across from you still. You held your place by the door as if your legs had forgotten how to move, or maybe the air in here was too thick they couldn’t move, it felt suffocating, like you could barely get any of it into your lungs. Something was changing, the air, the feeling, the atmosphere as a whole. It was a different world alone with him now, you knew it but didn’t want to accept that things were going to change, he was going to change, and there was no going back now. You both had shared more in the last ten minutes than you had almost the whole year you’ve known each other.

“Can you stay?” He broke the silence with a question you never thought you would hear, followed by him rising from the bed to walk towards you, shirt half buttoned and half untucked, the sight that many girls probably would wish for.

“In here? You know I can’t.”

His acceptance of what he already knew was in the form of him wrapping his arms around you and holding you tightly against his own body. It was strange, it never happened in private, only in public when he felt he needed to make it more apparent you are together. He had very specific and calculated reasons for all affection he gave you, even if something inside him had wanted more of you, he probably would never allow it.

So that left you being unsure of what to do with you own arms, frozen in place and unable to reciprocate the same type of affection. As much as you knew he probably needed it, the attention, the affection, any small gesture that would let him know that it was okay he was sad and confused. But that just wasn’t part of this.

Placing his head against yours and burying his face into your neck, trying to mesh his body with yours was a step too far. It felt as if it was definite proof that he wanted something more, or needed something more, and it was unlike him. Completely and utterly unlike him. He never quite needed anything. Not to say he had never wanted more from you, you both had a very subtle intimacy but it wasn’t private and it was by no means yours. For it all to belong to you both would a massive change, and seemed more than frightening to you. It wasn��t anything you had even really thought about before, but has he?

His body seemed to move without his permission at all, pulling away and releasing you slightly but just moving only so you were face to face, only a couple inches separating you. A type of look was there, in his tired and reddened eyes, it made the whole room feel like a different world, like you were in another universe where he wasn’t just a friend or a partner but someone who depended on you for anything and everything and needed you when things got rough, someone who wanted to hug you, someone who didn’t just look like they wanted to kiss you, but actually sealed the deal.

It felt like hours the way he looked at you, immense tension between both of you. It seemed never ending, it seemed torturous, it was all just confusing and thick. You hated looking shaken, as if he didn’t hug you but instead murdered someone in cold blood right in front of your eyes. Your look must’ve been enough, because he let you go and whispered a very silent and broken ‘Goodnight’, allowing you to leave and go to bed yourself.

When you reached your bedroom and changed into your nightgown in a daze, you still felt as if you were in a completely other place, as if everything was just one big confusing dream with no dialogue and no context, nothing to pull clues from. It was a rollercoaster of every emotion, every move, every sound, they all somehow blended together yet stood out completely all at the same time.

You just wanted to lay down and sleep and wake up to everything being the same, back to the way it was before.

You could hear, despite the fact you were completely out of it all. Your body was so tired you couldn’t be bothered one bit with rolling over and facing the door to your bedroom in Hoseok’s house, the day had felt like a whole week happening at once and you desperately wanted to escape it for anytime at all. Hoseok could break the rules of his own household all he wanted, of society if he wanted, but you wouldn’t. The air in here only faltered slightly and you knew he was here, settling onto the small sofa in the room.

Your mind was clouded with fatigue, too tired, too unwilling to think it through, to determine why exactly he was seeking this type of companionship from you.

You awoke in the morning with the faint idea of something that had happened, but with yesterday’s blur of events and the deep sleep you were in over the night it was hard to decipher what had happened and what was a dream. All you could think was that Hoseok came in your room, but that could’ve happened at any point of the night or early morning, and from looking around the room with sleepy eyes you concluded that he wasn’t here now at all.

Either he never came in and it really was a dream, or he had sought your company after turning him down and came in your room on his own, and left sometime before you woke. Knowing both of you, it would have to be a dream, never would he bother you like that, never has he truly needed your company for personal and emotional reasons. However, from the recent events that took place and the fact that he had asked you to stay with him despite that being against a part of your nonexistent but well thought out friend-relationship contract, he may have came in and left.

You dragged yourself out of bed, all but willingly, and made your way to the bathroom to wash your face and try to do something about your hair before getting dressed in a casual yet appropriate dress for whatever events will take place today.

Your mind wasn’t in any place in particular, you felt as if you had lost a weeks worth of sleep and was only able to make up for an hour of it. Maybe facing Hoseok’s lively family would wake you up a bit and force you to be on top of your game, force you to be a brighter and more sophisticated self than how you were really feeling today.

When you reached the small dining area by following George, you were almost alarmed to notice Hoseok’s slender fingers hooked into the small handle of a teacup, his dark brown eyes looking up at you in the archway as he took a sip. His demeanor was changed completely. It was almost strange to see him today, after the strangely intimate encounters you had had the night before where you tried to keep your distance but he kept stepping over each and every barrier in his way to get to you, to reach out to you. Today was almost the polar opposite, he was back to his normal self, and he gave you no attention other than the look when you came in.

You took your seat on a sofa next to the chair he was in, and George poured you a cup of tea. Hoseok’s mother also welcomed you but you barely registered any of it, you were too tired, too confused. It was too hard for you to seek for answers to this other than to confront him but unless he was going to retreat back into yesterday’s mood, it seemed impossible. Yesterday’s Hoseok was that person you could ask questions to that involved relationships and emotions, not today’s.

It seemed easy for him to move on and to forget, and although your thoughts were cloudy and unwilling, you could still see various things that stood out from the previous day in your mind. Watching Hoseok’s fingers pick up a croissant your mind flashed back to yesterday, his hands tangling in the back of your hair as he pushed you against the door. His lips as they closed around the bread as he took a bite, and your mind to when his face as right in front of yours, desperate to place his lips on yours in seek of a more safe and loving feeling. His tone of voice when he answered his mother’s requests, and thinking back to when he was voicing his concerns to you. He seemed normal, but nothing between you could return to that now.

Everything has changed now.

#hoseok fic #j hope fic #j hope scenarios #jhope imagine #bts fic #hobi fic #hoseok day #btsxyou x masterlist

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