#btw I came up with those names on spot until now these are unnamed one appearance characters

[nonokoko13]

No matter how many times I see this panel their wording always irks me

"What you might call a hands-off parenting philosophy"

Helen from where I come from that is called child neglect, I don't know if you're intelligent enough to understand this concept but I'll leave it here in case you want to open your eyes. Otherwise look up to the sky, the sun may not blind you as much as you are right now

"Im so jealous!"

Of not being around your child? Would you rather follow their example and not be there at all? What a great way to come out as probably shitty mother Margaret

Anyway I'm not sure what type of person Melinda is yet but I sure hope Yor doesn't go to her and her friends for parenting advice. Lord helps Anya if she ever does listen to them

[melchixr]

Association to Get Georg Zirschnitz his First Kiss (and Help Out Melchior Along the Way)

if you're taking requests (((I always am btw))) well i found these two prompts for melchior and moritz (modern au): I suggested we play spin the bottle so i could kiss you, but now everyone else is kissing you except me - or - I meant to grab the popcorn, not your crotch, sorry

C u T E F I C. I wrote a fic like this for another fandom i was in a while ago but that never saw the light of day so here we go! Based off of my first shitty house party

Warning: Alcohol, smoking

Words:1754

The “Association to Get Georg Zirschnitz his First Kiss” began at the beginning of the year, when he got into Melitta’s car after the big homecoming game and refused to even make eye contact the whole way home.

It wasn’t that there was any lack of trying. Georg wanted that kiss more than he wanted most basic human needs. It was the lack of any skill when it came to getting that kiss.

And thus,  the Association to Get Georg Zirschnitz his First Kiss, or the A.G.G.Z.H.F.K., was formed. And with the glorious co-leadership of Melchior and Hanschen, they were still unsuccessful in their original mission seven months later.

With summer coming up, the group could practically taste senior year.  And taste the bitter bitter flavor of panic.

“Don’t you worry, cohort,” Hanschen assured the group chat that was similar to their other group chat except without Georg. “Wendla’s sister is having a party this weekend. It will happen then. Our boy’s getting his kiss before senior year.”

That weekend came, of course, and Georg still had no clue what the A.G.G.Z.H.F.K.’s plan was. But neither did the A.G.G.Z.H.F.K.

Wendla’s sister, who no one seemed to quite know the name of, graduated a year ago. But she was known for having killer parties and a boyfriend who was twenty-one. And a rumor floating around that she got pregnant with the pastor’s son. But that was neither confirmed nor denied.

They wound up in the unnamed sister’s basement that saturday with a small crowd of other people their age that Wendla’s sister let her invite. All the cool sorta adults were upstairs, drinking the good alcohol and listening to the good music. While the gross high schoolers were downstairs, passing around poorly rolled joints, drinking the remnants of Smirnoff and Fireball that they were given.

Ilse had made the mistake to bring a bottle of cheap wine that her cool hipster friends gave her when she moved out of her parents house. And the other mistake was to willingly give it to Hanschen, who had been drinking it straight from the whole bottle all night.

“Hey hey hey!” He announced in a booming voice. His hair was disheveled and his neck was covered in hickies from making out with Ernst in the corner of the room the whole night. Not to mention the denim jacket he came in was now stained with some sort of dark alcohol and hanging off of Ernst’s small frame. “I got a fucking plan! Who wants to play spin the fucking bottle?!”

The little groups of teens looked at him then muttered with one another. No one moved until Hanschen’s free hand swung out and caught Georg on the arm, who had shoved himself into the corner sipping on some generic mixed drink with otto. He was obviously the most sober one here by far. “Georg wants to do it! Don’t you, Gay-orgy?”

A few party-goers giggled at the shocked look on Georg’s face, but still didn’t move. Finally Melchior jumped to hit feet, up from where he sat on a couch between Thea and Melitta. “Hansi….” he hissed and tugged his ‘’’’best friend’’’’ aside.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m bringing to life the vision of the A.G.G.Z.H.F.K.” he announced with a never minor sur that made their official name sound like a sneezing sound. He saw the amber-eyed  glare looking down at him so he quickly whispered. “Listen. If you let me do this, we can get Stiefel involved.”

“Get me what now?”

Melchior turned on his heel to see, standing at the bottom of the basement stairs. He had a lit cigarette in one hand and his bomber jacket that Melchior wrote about in his diary thrown over his shoulder. The sight nearly made his little pretentious heart stop. “Moritz!” He stammered to the boy he had been having wet dreams about since he was in seventh grade. “I didn’t think you’d be there.”

“Ilse invited me,” He nodded and blew out a big puff of smoke that hurt Melchior’s lungs to look at but for some reasons made him want to breathe it in. “Now what did you want?”

“Mor-Mor! Love of my little life! I haven’t seen you since chemistry! You were the best lab partner I’ve ever had!” Hanschen, hammered, yelled to the disinterested boy. “ Do you wanna play spin the bottle with us?”

There was an awkward pause before Moritz shrugged and threw his jacket onto the couch where Martha and Ilse were sitting. “Sure. Why not?”

With a loud cheer, Hanschen tossed a very horrified looking Ernst the bottle, with the last few drops putting another stain on the jacket. “Ladies and gents, Let’s get CRAY-ZAY!”

The others wandered towards the center of the room cautiously, still worried to look uncool in the crowd of the uncoolest kids in the school. Melchior seized Hanschen’s arm before he could join the forming circle on the ground. “What the hell is your plan.”

“Simple,” he said a bit too loudly. “Get Georg that first kiss and then you can get those sweet sweet Moritz lips.”

“There’s like ten people in here. What’s the chances that’s gonna happen?”

Hanschen scoffed and sat in the circle of buzzed teens, pulling Melchior to the empty spot beside him. “Then we go until we do! Now who’s ready to get this party started! Ilse, Ernst, Melchi, Anna, I assume you’re all ok with kissing the same gender. Moritz I’m getting the vibes from the nail polish that you are too. Everyone else, you’re drunk enough to right? Right!”

It was calm at first. With the casual jeering from Hanschen, it was in a calm order. Hanschen to Martha. Ilse to Anna. Martha to Ernst. Then the cycle finally arrived to Moritz, who had the most mischievous smirk.

‘Please land on me, please land on me, please land on-’

Hanschen.

“Oh lucky day!” Hanschen squealed and leaned over, hardcore tongue kissing Moritz in the center of the circle.

It continued a bit longer. Thea to Otto. Otto to Ernst. When it landed on Georg, a very sweaty hand span the bottle. Frightened eyes watched as it slowly pointed to Melitta.

“Hmm!” the girl cooed and patted down her mane of fluffy curls. Her cheeks were a light shade of pink as she shyly leaned over. “Wish me luck…”

Georg looked like he was going to respond but his statement was cut off by Melitta’s lips on his. A very content sound came from him, muffled by the overjoyed cheers of the A.G.G.Z.H.F.K.

“Good one, dude!” Otto cried out and patted his best friend’s back as he was still mid kiss.

‘Good one,’ Melchior thought to himself. ‘Now let’s get to what really matters.’

After the groundbreaking smooch, Georg and Melitta both took a step back to go out to the back porch to ‘talk’ and the game continued. Wendla to Thea. Anna to Martha. Finally Melchior got to spin with hope in his heart.

‘Please land on him, please land on him, please land on-”

Thea.

God fucking damnit.

The game was dull when it wasn’t on either of them.

Hanschen span, landing on Ernst which was not fair. Also not fair for everyone who watches them mouth fuck on a daily basis.

Ilse to Moritz. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. Moritz. Moritz. Moritz Moritz.

Moritz landed on Wendla.

This game was fucking rigged.  Totally rigged. Beyond rigged. Five cycles in, Melchior had kissed Otto, Hanschen, Anna, Martha, Thea twice, and Ernst three times. Still no Moritz.

And Moritz had kissed literally every person in the fucking circle besides Melchior. “Jesus Christ,” He hissed after a Moritz kissed Otto for the second time. “This is so ridiculous.”

“What is?” Wendla asked in the sweetest voice possible. “Is something wrong Melchi?”

Melchior just stood, finally drunk enough to loudly state. “I’ve been sitting here all night trying to put my tongue in the mouth of the one person who I can’t make out with!”

For a second the room was quiet, everyone uncomfortably shifting eyes and muttering to one another that “Gabor is hammered”. This continued through a few seconds before Moritz sighed slowly and stood up.

“Well, this is embarrassing,” Moritz chuckled and approached the other young boy. “I thought your goal was just to get Georg his first kiss.”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?!” Hanschen shouted before Thea shushed him and went back to watching the soap opera that was going on above him.

Moritz shrugged as if it wasn’t anything. “Literally everyone knows.”

“This isn’t my first kiss, Moritz.”

Laughing, Moritz realized that they had been creeping ever closer this whole time and he could smell the alcohol on Melchior’s face. “How drunk are you right now?”

“Very. But I’m gonna remember this,” He whispered and only hesitated for a moment more before planting a head on either side of Moritz’s head and yanking him into a kiss.

It was sloppy and passionate and Moritz’s nose was bumping into Melchior’s and Melchior’s hand was blindly grasping at Moritz’s hip but goddamnit if it wasn’t the most wonderful thing to happen in that tiny basement.

A few of their classmates cheered at the sight while the two men exchanged saliva in the center of the circle. Hanschen was literally shrieking at the top of his lungs and rolling on the ground. Ilse had reached up and patted Melchior’s ass in a “there there” sort of way.

Finally, Moritz broke apart from the kiss to breathe heavily. His snow white face cracked a smile and looked around at the group staring up at them with wonder to see what happens next.

“How drunk are you right now?” Melchior muttered and wiped the spit off of his face. Yet he couldn’t wipe away the dumb grin and vibrant pink blush.

Moritz’s hands stayed planted on Melchior’s chest. “I’m not at all. You’re gonna text me right?”