#but DO ask me for more squadra dnd au facts

[bizarreplatinum]

imagine playing dnd with la squadra

> modern au(?), based on dungeons & dragons 5th edition

how it all started…

melone is the first one to ask, as he spots the player handbook on your desk. it was hidden under some paper — plus he’s not even allowed in your room! thank him for being nosy. 

he hasn’t played since he was a kid, he says, and begs you to set up a campaign. it took very little to convince you, things were kinda dragging on at la squadra headquarters.

you sigh dramatically. “alright, fine, just get me a party.”

the first one melone approaches is pesci! he is very interested in d&d but never had the opportunity to play so he is all in. 

somehow illuso and ghiaccio got roped into playing. you have no idea how melone got them, but they are welcome nonetheless.

this is the one time ghiaccio actually shuts up and listens, value the time.

formaggio walks in during the session zero (where you are explaining the mechanics of the game) and asks what’s up. gets interested and joins.

prosciutto just happens to be sitting in his arm chair when the first session starts. he listens to your story telling and is quite impressed. he’s a fan of the descriptions of the scenery and setting, so he happens to be in the living room for some of your game sessions.

on one of your session nights, things get a little rowdy. enough for risotto to hear halfway across hq.

risotto exits his office, expecting to break up another fight…

(“no, no, NO! THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN DO THAT!” ghiaccio screeches.)

…only to walk into the main room where six of his subordinates huddled on the floor around the coffee table. miniature figurines set up in the center, along with sheets of paper and colored die. they don’t seem to realize his presence yet.

“i’ll allow it.” you say, hiding your smug smile from behind a large red screen. “melone, roll.” the ruling makes ghiaccio put his head in his hands.

melone picks up a white and red twenty sided die and rolls. there’s a collective holding of breath until it clatters to a halt.

formaggio leans over melone’s shoulder and starts cackling. “it’s a nat 20!”

“i get up on that crate and face the goblins.” melone begins to go off in some whimsical, rousing speech about rising above tyranny and the value of their own life.

“your speech inspires the whole group and they unanimously agree to follow you.” you notice the capo and nod to him. “oh, hey.” 

the group turns to the leader with emotions ranging from surprise to embarrassment.

his silence and the slightest quirk of a brow conveys the question “what are you doing?”

“we’re, uh, playing dungeons and dragons.” pesci says. “melone just convinced the goblins to turn against the head goblin.”

risotto nods slowly — not unlike a father trying his best to get a grip of the interests of his children — and turns around.

(of course, nero’s no stranger to third edition… but he won’t say anything.)