#but Edwin’s too damn obsessed with Charles to let me write that

[sthilarions]

After their latest case, the three central members of the Dead Boy Detective Agency have been sitting in their office for an hour when Charles excuses himself for a minute. It’s while he’s gone that Crystal snaps. “Will you just tell me how I fucked up, Edwin? It’s not like you to miss an opportunity to,” she almost yells.

Edwin blinks at her in confusion. “Why would you think you had - messed up?”

“Don’t play coy. You always shake my hand after cases. And you didn’t this time. Because you think I fucked this up.”

“Oh.” Edwin’s eyes are ever so slightly widened, and he leans forward. “No, Crystal, I - it wasn’t you. You… your performance was satisfactory. I shake your hand after successful cases, and… this time, I messed up. Not you. So the case was not successful.”

Crystal is silent for several moments. “What? What did you do?”

“I was too slow with the spell, and Charles was nearly injured.”

Crystal shakes her head vehemently. “No offense to Charles, but he was nearly injured because he ran in too early. That’s not on you.”

Edwin crosses his arms firmly over his chest and turns away from her, towards the wall, the wall through which Charles had disappeared minutes earlier. “It is my role to prevent this sort of failure. I should have predicted his response and been prepared for it.”

Crystal slumps back, her mouth slightly open. “Oh my god, you two are idiots.”

Edwin twitches.

“Charles,” Crystal half-yells over Edwin’s shoulder, “get back through that wall and deal with your idiot.”

Charles sheepishly appears through the wall. “I wasn’t listening, I swear.”

“Edwin didn’t shake my hand because he’s an idiot and you two have your co-dependent little mutual protection thing,” Crystal fails to explain, “so I’m gonna go, I dunno, take a nap, and neither of you is going to have a weird guilt complex when I get back. Got it?”

Charles blinks at her.

“Great. Night.”

Crystal retreats, through the door like a civilized person, and as she leaves sees Charles gently tugging one of Edwin’s arms out of its cross. Edwin’s pointedly not looking at him, but doesn’t resist the tug.

Crystal rolls her eyes.

Idiots.