#but I started dousing my legs in Off so even that's not a major problem anymore

[teaandinanity]

My mom just told me she hates that I’m leaving and I’m like ‘I bet I hate it more’ because I am to depart the mountains of North Carolina (beautiful, green, pleasant) for Texas (heading into the regularly-scheduled summer run of ‘everything is brown and dying because it’s 100 degrees in the shade and will not rain until October probably’).

[lubdubsworld]

⋆⋆✵ Perfect Imperfections ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1

Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.

Rating : 21+

Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )

Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is. 

When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.

Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.

Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.

It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.

I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?

I glanced at the article again.

The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.

I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.

And then my eyes reached the end of the article.

Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.

I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.

But it was impossible.

It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.

I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.

I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.

I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.

But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

And then Jungkook had happened.

Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .

But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.

Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.

A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.

I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.

Showtime, I thought with a grimace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy  to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.

“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”

My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.

With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.

Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.  

“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.

I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.

“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely.  She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.

“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.

“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.

“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.

“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while.  We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”

His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.

How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?

“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.

“is that a problem?” he asked.

I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.

“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.

The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.

“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.

“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.

“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.

“ No.. No I won’t. I … Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.

“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.

“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.

“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.

“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”

I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.  

“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .

“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”

“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.

“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.

“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.

“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”

I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.

“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.

“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.

“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”

He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.

“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.

Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.

“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.

“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.

“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .

“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.

“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.

I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.

“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.

But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..

The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.

“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”

I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.

Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.

“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.

“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .

“I’d carry you.” He said simply.

“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.

“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”

“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”

His gaze dipped to my lap.

“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.

“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”

And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.

Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.

I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.

It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I called Jungkook that evening.

It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.

“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.

“Are you sleeping?”

He didn’t reply for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”

“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.

“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .

Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.

Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.

“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.

“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.

Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.

“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.

Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong.  She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”

God I wanted to strangle him.

“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”

I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.

“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”

“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.

I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.

“Okay.” I said simply.

“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.

“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.  

“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements  and you have to have  a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”

Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?

“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.

“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”

“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.

“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.

“Yes.” I sighed.

“Alright.”

Silence again. I exhaled shakily.

“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.

“Good night, Jungkook.”

Click.

I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.

She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.

Well, so did I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth  always surprised you.

“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.

“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.

He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.

“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.

“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.

“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.

“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.

“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.

“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.

“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.

“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”

“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.

My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and  I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”

Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.

“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.

“You remember.” I said, pleased.

“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”

“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.

“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.

“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”

“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”

I shook my head.

“Oppa…”

“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.

I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.

But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.

“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.

Namjoon grinned.

“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.

“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.

“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.

He laughed.

“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have  a nice picnic.”

“Namjoon, I can’t…”

“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is  give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”

It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.

I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.

/Jungkook called me back almost at once.

“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.

“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.

“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.

“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”

I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?

“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.

Oh.

“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.

“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.

“No. Why?”

“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.

“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.

“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.

“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.

“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”

I stayed quiet and so did he.

“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.

“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”

I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.

“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .

Jungkook didn’t reply.

“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.

I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.

“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.

“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.

“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.

“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.

“That’s nice.  You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.

After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.

“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”

I frowned a bit.

“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”

Another pause.

“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.

“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.

“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”

Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.

“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”

“I need to go.”

“Alright.”

“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loneliness .

It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.

It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,

Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.

And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.

I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .

 Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.

Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.

“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.

Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.

Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.

“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .

“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.

“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.

Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.

“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”

I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.

“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.

“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”

I nodded.

“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”

“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”

I leaned back to stare at him.

“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.

Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.

“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.

My heart turned over inside me.

“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.

“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.

“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.

“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”

I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.

“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Alright then.”

“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.

“What?”

“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“

“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.

It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.

“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept

Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.

Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.

“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.

It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.

Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.

Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.

I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.

“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.

She didn’t reply.

I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.

“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”

She looked away.

“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.

“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”

Lisa didn’t respond.

“Jungkook  knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.

“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.

“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.

“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”

She stared down at her feet.

“Yes. I’m greedy..”  She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”

She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.  

“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.

I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.

“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.

I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.

“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.

“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.

“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.

“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.

“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”

“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.

“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.

“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.

“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.

Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.

The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s

I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone,  simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.

He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.

“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.

“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.

“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”

I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.

“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”

“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.

“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.

“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.

“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.

“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.

“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”

Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.

“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.

“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“

“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.

I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.

“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.

“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”

Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.

Sighing, I nodded.

“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”

“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.

I nodded.

“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”

“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.

Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.

“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”

“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”

“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”

I stared at him, biting my lips.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”

It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.

The smile faded.

“What?”

“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.

“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.

“Jungkook , I…”

“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“

“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “  All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.

I stared at him, horrified.

“Jungkook….”

“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”

My throat went dry.

“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”

“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.

“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“

“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.

Jungkook went completely still.

I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.

I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .

He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.

“ A girl?” He whispered.

I bit my lips, nodding.

“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.

“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.

Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.

I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.

I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.

“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to. 

I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.

“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg. 

ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it. 

[jadelynlace]

ink drinker / modern vikings au, Ivar x F!Reader

author’s note: long story short, I wrote this series but used an OFC that I use for most of my longer series. many thanks to @victoria-styles for her suggestion of making it a reader / Y/N story. major plot tweaks as well.

synopsis: Ivar was only meant to be a friend with benefits, but he caught feelings for his older brother’s best friend: you.

pairing: Ivar x Reader

✎

“Not into the million dollar bullshit?” You heard a voice beckon from behind you, stepping forwards with a light to start the cigarette that hung between your Oxford red stained lips.

“Crawling through the depths of hell sounds more pleasant than being here,” You grumbled back through the cloud of grey smoke slipping past your lips. You watched the figure next to you light up his own cigarette, taking note at how his fingers curled around the stick as he laughed with your words. “I’m only here to calm Hvitserk,”

“And he’s not even here,” He said back with a laugh, blue eyes peeking to grab at yours.

“Structure fire across town,” You tell him. “Told him that if he’s so inclined he can bring the truck over here and spray the party with the water,” Ivar laughed at that.

“Fuck, you clean up nice. And I love a woman in uniform,” He teases, smirking as you do too. It went silent for a second between you two, sticks of chemicals on your lips as his eyes did not miss the way your dress hugged at your body, how your stilettos were secured around your ankles. He couldn’t pull his mind back quickly enough before he was imagining them over his shoulders, your lips that curled around the filter and how they might look around his cock. How you were the first person who gave him complete reign over the ink he was going to forever mark your body with.

“Let’s just say I’d rather slice my own tongue off and choke on it than admit to that, actually wearing something other than the blues, and enjoying it,” You groan as the man next to you laughs, a sick snicker coming from his lips and you find yourself smiling too. “But you don’t clean up half bad yourself, Ivar,” You tease back as your eyes catch sight of the roll of his sleeves, how he maneuvers the buttons and pulls the white fabric back to show the first indications of sleeved out arms.

“Where do you want to go?” Ivar asks, taking the cigarette from his mouth to stub.

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t think I fucking stuttered,” He started in challenge. “You said you didn’t want to be here, so where would you like to go?” He asks a quick swipe of his tongue over his lips as he cocks his head to the side awaiting your answer.

“Alright, Ragnarsson, you’re fucking on,” You laugh back, crushing your own stick with the spike of your heel as you follow him.

*

Hvitserk was a man who took most things with a grain of salt, others came with a few shots of whiskey. He had seen the darker side of humanity, and you were right there with him when he did. Your interest in becoming certified for emergency medicine had followed you since your high school graduation, and you were right on the top of the sign up sheet when class enrolled. And you stayed on top when your graduated. Company firings and how it lead to short staffing, moving of some onto better things lead to an opening you leapt on and found yourself paired with a paramedic with blonde hair and a smile that could cause most of the human population to smile back. It did not take long for a friendship to strike up, even outside of the station and the blazing sirens. His humor, his companionship kept you sane, kept the darkness of the horrid calls at bay, you two grew close, quickly.

Even if company policy allowed the romantic attachments between co-workers, you still couldn’t find yourself catching some sort of feeling to Hvitserk. He was a friend, your best, and it was left at that. You trusted him with your life, you’d gladly lay on the stretcher and head into the emergency room as long as he was the paramedic who was treating you.

Sigurd came next in the line of his brothers, an obsession with music, and nothing but the best that world could offer. He had an artistic hand, Hvitserk drove you towards his place of employment for permanent artwork to your liking and that was how you met Ivar. He watched you tip toe through his portfolio, but if Sigurd had talent, then Ivar was a God. You had never seen such movement on skin where he would trace his ink. You didn’t want to pull a design off of the internet and ask Ivar to put in on you, it seemed almost rude, instead you told him where you wanted it, and told him to go crazy. He looked at you in such a way, thinking you were joking. Perhaps too un-educated in the world of tattoos, but you held your ground and he was proud of such a feat.

Work was all too consuming, trying to leave space for time other than the blood pressure cuffs and patient history. You’d spend time out on town with Hvitserk, his brothers soon in tow, a party of their own that they could become. You were shocked Hvitserk hadn’t caught on, that none of them had, how long you had been spreading your legs for Ivar in secret. Petty bantering between the two of you, the others making bets to see whom would kill whom first, but that chatter went towards the foreplay that would follow you two into the bedroom. The most shock you came to realize was how Ivar was always there in the morning—it took a lot of you to convince him to leave, but he always mumbled something about five more minutes just for holding you.

Perhaps it was how your days were spent doused in testosterone, one of the three women of the entire station, entire company, leaving you to be able to handle yourself around men with egos far bigger than the dicks they would carry. That was how you were so seamlessly integrated into the Ragnarsson brother’s, struck up like the sister they never got. That was how Ivar found himself thinking about you far more than a friend with or without benefits would, how tightly you snug around his cock, how you look and sounded when you came for him, how you had pulled more from him than any other woman he had slept with. How you made him feel appreciated and not like a man who needed to navigate himself with his dick to get what women he wanted. How you didn’t toss him to the side after the first fuck. You drove him crazy and he didn’t have the words to admit to it.

“If I hear a grumble from you one more time Ivar, I am going to kick you out of the shop,” Sigurd spoke from his spot at the front desk, thumbing through a magazine of industry products as Ivar hissed a curse at him in reply. “What the fuck is you problem?”

“Y/N,” Ivar answered all too quickly.

“What? She hurt your ego too bad last time we were out? Didn’t stroke it enough to your liking?” Sigurd teased.

“No,” Ivar said. “She didn’t stroke me enough to my liking,” But Ivar said the words far too quickly before he could catch them.

���Are you fucking her?” Sigurd said, sitting up in his chair. “You two are fucking?” He laughed.

“Shut up,” Ivar grumbled, a toss of his pencil flying to grace the space Sigurd was at.

“She cut your dick off? That the issue?” He teased. “Hvitserk’s going to go ape-shit, dude,”

“That’s why we’re not telling him yet, right Sigurd?” Ivar said “Right, Sigurd?” He repeated with an extended finger at his brother.

“How long have you two been fucking—I need to know that, for science, and because I am still in shock. How did you—her? She’s too good for you Ivar, you have to be careful there,”

“Two years,” Ivar remarked and Sigurd nearly fell out of his chair.

“Fuck! You ask her out yet?”

“We’re not talking about this—or telling anyone else, right?” Ivar said again.

“Yes, sir,” Sigurd nodded, a fake salute from his hand as his mind was still scrambled.

“Don’t call me sir,” Ivar snapped.

“Yes ma’am,”

*

You’d never forget the call that came through dispatch a month after you and Ivar had started to screw around more often than fuck buddies would. The address sounded familiar, but Hvitserk was the one who made the connection it was the shop. Ink Drinker was a parlor bathed in black; walls and dark floors that made the rooms look like they never ended. The art displayed belonged to that of Ivar, of Sigurd, of the few others who came and went for their tattoo work. The owner had wooden sculptures of his own to line the spaces, but you had only ever seen the man through his social media.

You feared suddenly something happening to Ivar, or Sigurd, readying yourself for the sight that may hold them there, but it wasn’t them. A patron had passed out to the sight of the needles, sending Ivar to sour his entire mood at the weakness for something he found so simple. His flash of anger changed suddenly when you and his brother showed up, jumping from the rig in full expectance to see either sibling in a bloody mess after fighting to their death.

“I called and specifically asked for Hvitserk Ragnarsson and his partner,” Sigurd teased as the teenager came too, apologizing and still paying Ivar for the appointment he was too scared to cancel.

“I was hoping it would be a trauma call, you finally snapping and kicking Ivar’s ass,” You answered back, smirking at Ivar as he rolled his eyes in distaste. Ivar’s eyes climbed your whole body as you worked, the uniform marking your hierarchy and importance as you took the patient to the hospital. His text message not ten minutes later almost made you head back just to smack him.

“You’re keeping the uniform on next time we fuck.”

Tags:

@smileysam13579 @dreamtherapy @heisentwerk  @angelofthenightposts @ill-skillsgard @youaremyfamiliar @unbetaedimagines @kathryn-jane @readsalot73 @skrsgardspam @lihikainanea @victoria-styles @queen-sarang   @anastasiaskarsgard @andmyannabellee @youbloodymadgenius @apenas-mais-uma-pessoa @walkxthexmoon  @flowers-in-your-hayr @peachyboneless @heavenly1927 @theanxietyqueen17 @trip2themoon

[bronzeflower]

Casashouta

Also on ao3

Chapter 10: Love Lettered and Love Spoken

-----

Shouta wasn't a big fan of attention. It was mostly just annoying, but it was occasionally unavoidable. He could deal with it if he had to.

When Shouta transferred into Class 1-A, he had to deal with a lot of unwanted attention.

Some of that attention included romantic overtures from his classmates.

Now, Shouta was absolutely aware of the irony in him flirting with Hizashi while also being annoyed by flirting from other classmates. The main difference here, though, was that Hizashi never discouraged any of his flirting, and, if anything, the boy actually flirted back while Shouta would blatantly reject any kind of romantic interest towards him if he wasn't receptive to it.

Shouta was also aware that he was considered "attractive" to many people, a trait of his that he absolutely exploited when flirting with Hizashi. Apparently messy hair and tired eyes and a brooding attitude were mysterious and cool and therefore attractive. He also knew that people were often attracted to those who could beat them up, and it certainly seemed there was no shortage of those kinds of folks in Class 1-A.

However, knowing these things did not make the flirting and love letters any easier to deal with.

"You certainly got a lot of letters today," Hizashi observed, trying his best to not make his rising jealousy prevalent. He wasn't even dating Shouta! He had no right to be jealous!

"It's annoying," Shouta responded. "I wish people just told their confessions to my face immediately so that I can actually reject them."

"Isn't that kind of harsh?" Hizashi asked. "Those people worked hard on their letters, yo! You could at least try to go on a date with them. Who knows-you might actually really like them!"

"It's crueler to lead them on when I know I'm not at all interested," Shouta explained. "The sooner they know their feelings aren't returned, the sooner they can get over me and get on with their life."

"I mean, I guess," Hizashi frowned. "Do you actually meet up with the people who include a time and meeting place?"

"Unfortunately," Shouta said. "It's easier, in the long run, to just tell them I'm not interested in person. If I don't show up, it might not be taken as a rejection."

"Ah." Hizashi turned away slightly from the pile of letters. "So you actually read them?"

"Most of them are from secret admirers. I just feel like it's a waste of time to pursue someone if you're not upfront about your identity."

"Ah." Hizashi wondered if Shouta would ever bother pursuing him. "Is there anyone you are actually interested in?"

"Yes." Shouta wondered if Hizashi had finally managed to pick up on his flirtations.

"Oh! Really?" Hizashi questioned, doing his best to ignore the sudden spike in his heart rate while also trying to mentally douse himself in cold water to prevent him from getting his hopes up. "Who is it?"

Shouta knew it was probably too good to be true, and, clearly, Hizashi picked up on his expression.

"Oh! You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, you know," Hizashi sheepishly laughed. "Crushes are kind of an embarrassing topic, but, I have to admit, I haven't exactly seen you stare longingly at anyone. Oh! Is it an upperclassman? Is it Nemuri? You two would actually make a pretty cute couple now that I think about it-"

"It's not Nemuri," Shouta quickly cut Hizashi off before he could say more embarrassing things. Now that Hizashi mentioned his crush, Shouta was feeling uncharacteristically shy and nervous about actually confessing his feelings, especially after he specifically planned what to do for the confession. What irony.

Blantenly flirting, to the point where the majority of the class knew about his interest in Hizashi? Shouta could absolutely do that, no problem.

Actually confessing his feelings and getting into a serious relationship? Absolutely terrifying and nerve-racking now that he's been confronted by the reality of the situation.

Then again, actually starting to date Hizashi might have the extra side effect of discouraging any more love letters, which Shouta had to say, was a major motivation in confessing.

"Then who is it?" Hizashi persisted.

"I'll tell you later," Shouta decided once he noticed several people staring their way. Just because he wanted the notes to stop didn't mean he was going to confess in front of everyone. Besides, he already had a specific spot he wanted to go to confess.

Hizashi frowned but accepted Shouta's comment, or, at the very least, was forced to once class actually started.

Hizashi could barely concentrate, wracking his brain to think of potential crushes that Shouta could have.

It's not Nemuri, Shouta already confirmed that. Maybe it was Tensei? Or Kan? Or maybe it was someone completely different-it might even be someone outside of school. Hizashi felt a little nervous about the idea of Shouta having a crush on someone who didn't go to their school, but he supposed he was mostly weary of Shouta having feelings for someone he doesn't know at all.

The class was way too long. It stretched on like taffy or cheese. Hizashi couldn't help but allow his leg to bounce as his concerns regarding who Shouta liked ate up his thoughts.

Finally, finally class ended and most of the students exited the room as Hizashi waited for Shouta to put his stuff in his bag.

"So who do you like?" Hizashi tried whispering the best that he could, but he honestly wasn't all that good at that particular skill.

"Follow me," Shouta dodged the question so that he could take Hizashi to the specific place he picked out for his confession. Shouta couldn't say that he was too much of a romantic, but Hizashi was a big fan of sweet and romantic gestures, so he figured that, if none of his previous seduction worked, then this certainly would. And, if it didn't, then Shouta should take his own advice and give up, but he was pretty sure that Hizashi returned his feelings.

So, in confusion, Hizashi followed Shouta all the way to the cherry blossom trees that grew outside of the school.

“Why’dja take me here to tell me who you like?” Hizashi struggled to shove down his hopes.

“I like you romantically,” Shouta stated. “Would you like to date me?”

“Huh?” Hizashi wasn’t exactly sure if he heard that right. It might have been some sort of hallucination, hearing Shouta say those words, but they sounded a little too real to have been a hallucination.

“I said I like you romantically,” Shouta repeated. “Would you like to date me?”

“I’m the one you like!?” Hizashi asked, pointing towards himself, completely and utterly shocked as he yelled perhaps a bit too loudly.

“I’ve been flirting with you since I transferred,” Shouta deadpanned.

“You’ve been flirting with me!?”

“Yeah, you’re oblivious, so do you want to date or not?”

“I, uh, um,” Hizashi stuttered, still trying to process the fact that SHOUTA just ASKED HIM OUT. In a ROMANTIC manner. “Yes, yes, I do!”

“Are you sure?” Shouta questioned. He didn’t know why he was saying this. He was basically sabotaging himself if Hizashi actually didn’t like him back, but he didn’t want to force Hizashi into a relationship either. “Because you sound kind of unsure.”

Hizashi reached out to hold Shouta’s hands in a very purposeful gesture of interest before speaking again.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m just a little surprised is all,” Hizashi gave Shouta’s hands a squeeze, and Shouta had to remember his breathing exercises.

“Can I kiss you?” Shouta asked, just to keep his mouth occupied in case he did suddenly kiss Hizashi without thinking about it.

“Yeah,” Hizashi said, and, the moment he said it, Shouta dived for his lips, their kiss soft and sweet and short. Hizashi giggled when he pulled away. “I can’t believe you took me to the cherry blossoms to confess though.”

“I wanted to try to be romantic,” Shouta had the most adorable blush on his face. “Because you like romantic things.”

“Oh,” Hizashi’s face was probably equally as on fire. “Do you wanna go on a date to the cat cafe?”

“Yeah,” Shouta smiled. “I’d like that.”

[andavs]

Yep. It’s another from this long list of prompts, unprompted.

Number Fifty-Seven: “Don’t talk anymore.”

“You used too many pine needles.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“They’re going to burn off before the logs catch, you need tinder that will burn slower.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s not going to work and you’re just going to waste matches.”

“Derek, I swear to god—”

“You’re doing it wrong!”

“It will burn just fine!” Stiles threw down the small log in his hand and it crashed into the teepee of a fire he’d been meticulously building

Derek glared, unimpressed by the tantrum. “I’m telling you, it won’t.”

“Oh my god, you are the most—you know what?” Stiles stalked off to the picnic table where the rest of the pack was setting things out for dinner, pretending they weren’t paying attention to the argument. Typical Stiles. Get huffy and dramatic when he didn’t get his way.

Derek rolled his eyes and stood to do it himself, but Scott’s somewhat frantic shout of Stiles, no! made him stop and turn back.

Stiles was stomping back towards the fire pit, bottle of lighter fluid clutched in his hand.

"You want a fire, boy scout?” he snarled at Derek, as he flipped the top off and doused the pile of wood and tinder in it. "You'll get the biggest fucking fire you’ve ever seen, so suck it!"

Before Derek could stop him, he lit a match with a vengeance and dropped it onto the whole mess.

And then shrieked and tripped back when a flame taller than he was shot up and obliterated a low hanging dead branch above it.

*

Derek and Scott stepped in to get the fire managed and crackling at a safe height while Stiles stormed off to nurse his ego and singed eyebrow. By the time he returned with a bandaid above his left eye, the food was cooking, drinks were ready, and the pack was chatting happily around the fire.

They had a nice night eating hot dogs and burgers, followed by s’mores that no one could eat more than one of, and by the time they stumbled off to their tents, they were all nicely tipsy from all the alcohol Scott and Isaac had stockpiled in the trunk of the SUV.

This was where the night got significantly less nice.

While everyone else paired off (nicely) into their tents—Scott and Kira, Isaac and Allison, Erica and Boyd, Lydia and Jackson—Derek got stuck with Stiles. He offered to sleep back in the car, but Scott was adamant about this camping trip being a bonding experience and told them both to suck it up and stop being dicks. Easy for him to say when he was sleeping next to the quietest sleeper in the pack.

Even with Erica’s infamous snoring, Derek drew the shortest straw in this situation—and they would all regret this, he decided at three in the morning, still wide awake.

Because anytime he felt himself about to blissfully drift off, Stiles shifted around again. He moved against his sleeping bag which slid across his nylon covered sleeping pad which scraped loudly against the floor of the tent, and Derek was one toe twitch away from dragging the guy and his sleeping bag out into the lake to sleep there.

And that wasn't including the anxious heartbeat and fidgeting fingers constantly in motion.

"Stiles, go to sleep," Derek growled, and Stiles paused for a second before starting to squirm around again without even trying to be quiet now that he knew Derek was awake too.

"I can't, that's kind of the problem."

"Why not?" This was more conversation than he wanted to be having at three in the morning in the middle of the woods.

"Because I barely sleep in my own bed,” Stiles hissed. “Why the fuck would I sleep out here?"

Derek glared at the side of the tent he was facing and took a deep breath. "Why didn't you say anything before we hiked out to the middle of nowhere for three days?"

"I was hoping it wasn't going to be an issue!"

"Well apparently it is. You're freaking out and it's keeping me awake too.” Derek finally pushed himself up to look at Stiles and tell him very bluntly, “You're surrounded by werewolves, a kitsune, and Allison—you're fine."

"Yes, I'm aware if that, thank you,” Stiles shot back.

"Then calm down." A few minutes of no change. "You're not calming down."

Stiles huffed and ground out, "The last time I slept in the woods I was possessed, sleep walking, and subconsciously trying to let myself die of exposure in a coyote den, so yeah, I'm a little on edge."

He threw a glare in Derek’s direction before turning onto his side, facing away.

Well, that made Derek feel like a major dickbag.

Now that he thought about it, he remembered Scott mentioning that Stiles still wasn't sleeping well, even two years after his possession. At that time a month ago, it had been in the context of finals and Scott stressing because Stiles was completely running himself into the ground, but it was apparently an ongoing issue.

Before he could second guess himself, Derek reached out and dragged Stiles' pad towards him, and Stiles flailed in his sleeping bag at suddenly moving without warning.

"Dude, what—"

Derek already came this far, might as well carry through. He pulled Stiles against him, wrapping an arm securely around him and holding on when he continued to squirm around to get away, whispering profanities as he struggled.

"Scott said this helps you sleep sometimes,” Derek explained quietly, firmly. Because he was being helpful, damn it.

Stiles froze, exhaled, then let his leg fall back down. "Why did he tell you that?"

“We’ve been talking more, it just came up.”

“And why the hell have you been doing that?”

Derek rolled his eyes. "It was Lydia’s idea. Ask her.”

“Of course it was.”

“Go to sleep.”

“You go to sleep,” Stiles countered petulantly, and Derek sighed.

“I will when you shut up.”

“Well, strap in then because—”

“Stiles.” He squeezed a little tighter in warning. “Don’t talk anymore.”

For once, Stiles didn't argue, and instead settled back against Derek's chest. The fidgeting gradually slowed to a stop, his heartbeat calmed, and eventually —finally, he drifted off.

Derek breathed a very quiet sigh of relief and let himself follow.

...just in time for Kira the Morning Person to unzip her tent with the rising sun to greet the day.

[wen-junehui]

under the same sky (m)

Genre: Fluff/Romance, Angst, Smut, art student!Jun

Word Count: 7320

Characters: Wen Junhui/Original Female Character, Jeon Wonwoo

(a/n): Inspired by BIGBANG’s Last Dance, 2NE1′s Goodbye, and SEVENTEEN’s Smiling Flower. ♡

Paintbrushes soaked in water. Tubes of watercolor scattered across a white plastic sheet covering the hardwood floor. Sunlight poured into their apartment, the natural lighting helping to achieve the perfect stroke and shade.

Their easels were propped up against each other back to back, both of them unable to see each other’s work. They were working on the first major project of their last semester as undergraduate art majors. Their task was to create an abstract painting expressing their feelings towards the future using only watercolors. They were situated next to the tall windows in their living room, the buildings and streets of Seoul in a landscape view below hoping to provide them with some inspiration.

For him, it was an easy task to accomplish since he pretty much mastered every type of medium by this point in his career. Although charcoal was his favorite, watercolor was a good way to experiment with different colors and opacities. He admired the streakiness of the water and how it made the colors overlap with each other to create one whole picture. His face was very relaxed as he dipped his paintbrush in the water and mixed colors together on his palette. He created soft but meaningful strokes on the canvas, effortlessly blending everything together.

For her, it felt more like an excruciating hike up a steep mountain than a simple walk in the park. Her strength came from drawing pieces using the classic paper and pencil. Painting was the form of art where she had the least control and struggled with the most. Pens and pencils gave her the most precision with their fine sharp tips, which gave her the ability to create the thinnest lines possible. Her main problem with paint, however, was that she had trouble letting herself go and having the brush create the image for her. Watercolor was the medium she struggled with most on top of that. Her eyebrows scrunched up together in the middle of her forehead, trying really hard to transfer the image from her head to the canvas. She hovered her brush over the painting and hesitated every time it almost made contact with her piece. She tried to find the perfect spot to place every color, thinking that one small mistake could ruin the entire image altogether.

He placed his brush in the water-filled cup and scanned his eyes over his piece, content with the progress he made. He put his palette on the small table next to his easel and peeked over at his girlfriend, who looked like she was about to stab her canvas with the paintbrush. “You know you won’t be able to hand in your project if you murder it, right?”

“Shut up, Jun.” she mumbled in annoyance. She tried to dismiss his remark and focus on her painting. He could tell from her face that it was nowhere near the point she wanted it to be. The deadline was two weeks away, which stressed her out even more. Her whole demeanor suddenly slipped and she slumped her shoulders in defeat, dropping her brush and palette onto the paint-stained floor. “This is terrible! I’m never gonna finish this on time and I’m gonna fail and—” Jun walked around to her side and gave her a gentle kiss. He pulled her into a soft embrace and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was taken aback by his sudden intimacy and her eyes widened in surprise. Negative thoughts were running through her mind just seconds before but feeling his plump velvety lips against hers helped her calm down. She slowly closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck fully reciprocating.

Once they pulled away, he pressed his forehead against hers and looked into her milk chocolate brown eyes with hope and pride. “Listen you’re not going to fail. You’re going to do well and like I always say, if you need any help at all you can always ask me since I can work with anything.” his smirk might’ve been taken as a challenge but his eyes genuinely wanted to see his girlfriend succeed. They’ve been painting together ever since they met in their freshman year of art school and he would do anything to help rekindle her light whenever it started to douse.

She stared into his eyes and he could see that her stress was slowly melting away like watercolors on a canvas. She was the type of person who wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfect, no matter how many times he told her that anything she created was more than good enough. Because it came from the depths of her own mind, it was already perfect. They admired each other’s work and their contrasting styles worked harmoniously together. However, they were the top two students in the class so they enjoyed treating each other as rivals. It definitely spiced up their relationship from time to time. Despite living together, they never saw a fragment of each other’s canvas when they painted. It was an unspoken rule between them, to never reveal the final product until they presented them in class.

“I know but… this time, I really want to challenge myself and improve on my own. Don’t take this the wrong way but, how do I know that you’re not planning to potentially sabotage my project so you’d get a better grade?” she teasingly tilted her head as she raised her eyebrows at him. She pressed her body slightly harder against his purposefully bringing her face closer. “Hm?”

“Because angel, I always do better than you. My hands have mastered every type of medium and can paint the gentlest and hardest of strokes. I’m sure you know that by now.” he whispered, his hot breath ghosting over her lips. He tightened his hold on her waist and pulled her even closer, their faces just centimeters away.

She smirked in reply. Whenever she was too stressed about a project, Jun always knew the perfect way to relieve all her worries. He never failed to find the words that triggered the burning feeling within her body every single time. It was like a game of chess where he knew exactly which pieces to play to produce a favorable outcome. But this time she was the queen about to checkmate the king.

“Oh yeah? Well, not this time around. You may have the technique but I have the control.” she pressed her lips against his with enough force to make him lose his balance and stumble back a bit. She grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck as she took the lead.

Jun smirked against her lips, amused at her bold advance. His hands slowly went down her body to squeeze her hips. He pulled away for a quick moment to say, “Control, huh? You can’t even control yourself right now.”

She looked at him with a fire in her eyes, wanting to get rid of the stress that was building up inside her all week. She hopped to wrap her legs around his waist, rolling her hips against his body and closing any form of space between them. “Shut up and just show me your beloved technique, alright?” she growled before kissing him again.

Jun slid his hands under her loose, paint-stained shirt and squeezed her waist, making her moan briefly. He carried her to the kitchen and propped her body on the counter. His hands reached for the hem of her shorts and with one swift motion, he pulled them off her body and threw them onto the floor. He teasingly placed his fingers on her already soaked underwear and drew small, gentle strokes along the folds of her hot core. She dug her nails into the nape of his neck and drew in a sharp breath of air.

“Jun, I swear if you don’t take me to our room right now—” she suppressed a small scream when he dug his canines into the side of her neck, his tongue making small swirls on her warm, tender skin. She rolled her hips harder against the lower part of his body, unable to suppress it any longer.

Jun grabbed her butt and lifted her off the counter, biting harder into her neck. He walked quickly down the hallway and into their room shutting the door with his foot. He threw her on the bed and hovered over her body, pressing his lips to hers. She started to unbutton his navy-checkered button down while he removed her underwear and flung it across the room. He continued to draw strokes on her warm, wet skin down below, gradually increasing the speed and pressure. She moaned loudly in response as she undid the last button on his shirt. Her hands traveled up from his waist, over his chest, and across his broad shoulders attempting to take off his shirt. He broke away to remove it from his body as she took off her t-shirt. He pinned her down to the bed once again and stared into her eyes. “You need to stop procrastinating and dragging me with you, you know? Those paintings aren’t gonna finish themselves.” he gave her a devilish, sinful grin.

Her expression changed with the blink of an eye indicating that she was absolutely done with his sarcasm. “The only thing you’re going to finish for the rest of the day is me.” she whispered before unbuttoning his jeans and closing the gap between them once more with her lips.

She was right in the sense that their paintings were left untouched for the rest of the day. Everyday for the next two weeks, however, consisted of a wide array of colors and strokes until they were both happy with the final results.

Jun and his girlfriend stood side by side at their window watching Seoul’s skyline, bathed in the gentle sunset. Their easels were sitting behind them, the final layers of watercolor drying into the canvas to become one with the rest of the painting. It was the day before their piece was due and they were enjoying some well-deserved relaxation. He wrapped an arm around her waist and looked at her lovingly. The sky was her favorite form of inspiration, awed at how both bright and dark colors can blend seamlessly into one. A time where they can both see day and night simultaneously. She looked up at him, her eyes were twinkling with hope and a smile as bright as a diamond. He loved being able to be with her during moments like this, where he can feel her own personal accomplishment right by her side.

He gently kissed her forehead and held her tighter, knowing that this was only the start of a new beginning in their lives.

They sat next to each other in the fourth row in one of the art school’s main studios. All of the students pieces were covered with a black drape until they were called up one by one to present their masterpieces. A student with light brown hair and round silver glasses was currently talking about how his piece represented his endless craving for knowledge and intellectual stimulation. Jun observed every single detail of his piece, which was a self portrait of the student with his eyes closed and numerous sources of knowledge flowing into his head.

“I want to never stop learning. No matter what path I may take or how hard times may get, I will always take it as an opportunity to grow and learn more perspectives. As I age, so will my knowledge which will eventually turn into wisdom.” he smiled one last time at his piece and looked at the professor indicating he was finished. The class clapped as he walked back to his seat with his canvas tucked under his arm.

It was finally her turn. Jun gave her a soft smile as she walked to the front of the classroom hugging her piece close to her body. Taking a deep breath, she nervously propped her canvas on the easel and swiftly took off the drape. Jun’s jaw dropped when he saw her finished painting. She turned to face the class, stood up straight rolling her shoulders back, and confidently smiled. All the hard work she endured for the past few weeks lead up to this moment.

“My hope for the future is to never stop reaching for my dreams, no matter how hard or impossible it may seem. At the same time, I always want to improve and never lose my inspiration. Scenes in nature and the people that I love never fail to spark the artist inside me, always craving for something new and exciting.” she pointed to various parts of her painting as she explained each of its significance. It featured two people on the top of a mountain overlooking the beautiful landscape below them. The top half of the canvas featured the timeline of a sky changing throughout the day from sunrise to nighttime decorated with the moon and stars.

“No matter when and where I am, I hope to always remember my roots and what sparked my passion for art in the first place.” she looked at Jun as she made her final statement with a bright smile. “And I don’t want to forget those that helped me grow in ways I would’ve never imagined if I pursued this path alone. They’ve become a part of my journey and I hope they’ll be there until the end.” she gave a small, cute bow as the class applauded. She gently lifted her painting off the easel and walked back to her seat.

Jun simply stared at her with no words. Usually, he did a lot of smooth talking in their relationship. He always had her speechless with his pickup lines. But this time? He couldn’t even find the most basic adjective to describe what he was feeling right now. For her painting. For its significance and how much he means to her. For being so lucky to have her in his life.

She looked at Jun with a soft smile and a faint blush on her cheeks as she sat back down to the left of him. He fought back the urge to grab her right there and kiss the living hell out of her. He made a mental note to remember once they got back to their apartment. Just before he was about to steal a quick kiss on her cheek, the professor called his name. He was the last one to present. It was his time to shine. He stood up and carried his canvas with one hand, the wooden frame in the back hanging on his long slender fingers. He gracefully placed it on the easel and spun around to face his peers. He pulled off his drape and revealed his work to the class.

The painting featured him sitting in a white chair wearing an all black outfit and looking up with twinkling eyes. Swirls of color and images of people and places surrounded him from every angle. “As you all know, black contains every color in the spectrum. It absorbs sunlight, providing warmth to those who wear black clothing. Black is one of my favorite colors along with white. The reason being that just like how black absorbs sun and colors, every experience that I’ve encountered so far and all the people that have had an impact in my life are a part of me and who I am today.” he pointed to various points in the painting where intricate scenes contrasted against the abstract rivers of color.

“The swirls of color represent memories and experiences that I have yet to make and absorb. I’m sitting on a white chair because white is the absence of color. It symbolizes everything that I have yet to learn to discover. It’s an empty palette I want to make a mess out of. I want to continue growing and absorbing color. I want to make those swirls of color into concrete and tangible memories. They may be an abstract concept now and have an infinite number of possibilities, but I want to make them into my own wherever the colors take me.” he smiled confidently at his professor, knowing this was his best piece of art he’s created so far in his life.

He looked over at his girlfriend who was just as stunned as the rest of the class. He loved how wide her eyes, filled with childlike wonder and awe, became whenever she was inspired with how much meaning and depth a piece of art could emulate. Jun’s paintings, in particular, always left her speechless and challenged her to think of more complex ways to incorporate her feelings and stories into her own art. It helped her flourish as an artist and as a person.

The professor and his classmates clapped loudly as he returned to his chair, expecting nothing less from the top student in the class. Her girlfriend leaned over and gave him a tight hug. She kissed him on the cheek, looking like the proudest girlfriend ever. “I always say I’m going to beat you but I end up short every time. You’re lucky I’m proud and happy for you instead of plotting a way to injure your wrists.” she whispered in his ear before sitting up straight again in her chair. He couldn’t help but smirk at her endearing remark. Being rivals with her made everything so much more exciting and he hoped that their rivalry and her desire to win would never fade away.

Their professor got up from his seat in the corner of the studio and stood in front of all his students. “You all did a magnificent job with your midterm projects. I am very pleased with all of your work and I hope that you will be able to achieve your hopes and dreams for the future when you graduate this semester. Before I dismiss you all, I have the results from the prestigious international graduate art program in New York City. They were just sent to me last night and I thought this would be the perfect time to tell you all.”

The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed as students sat up in their seats and whispered anxiously to each other. This was every art student’s dream at the university, a full scholarship with the opportunity to learn from some of the world’s most renowned artists. This was the way to perfect and hone one’s own unique art style and only two students get chosen.

Jun turned to his girlfriend, knowing that the both of them would be the two lucky ones. They were the top two students in the class, what more could they want? He grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as she looked at him with eyes full of hope. They turned back to face their professor, who was about to share the results.

“The two lucky students are … Wen Junhui.” he nodded his head towards Jun with a confident smile on his face. “No surprise there. I’m very sure the professors there will be amazed by your work.”

Jun smiled in return, letting his whole body relax. He was never unsure that he would get accepted, but actually hearing his name made him feel so much more at ease. Now all he had to hear was the name of his girlfriend. Jun turned to her, ready to hug and congratulate her with all the love in his body just as the professor was about to say—

“And Jeon Wonwoo.”

He started to jump up from his seat but suddenly paused. Wait … did he hear correctly? He knew for a fact that he didn’t hear her name. Did the professor make a mistake? Did he accidentally read the wrong name? All of these thoughts were running through his mind, refusing to believe that she didn’t get accepted with him. Ever since they applied together in the fall semester, all they thought about was moving to New York together. They imagined having dates at the MET and the MoMA and other museums around the city. They’d visit cute cafes and explore the city streets and all that it had to offer. They pictured late nights in the campus just laying in the grass looking at the sky above them. This life that they pictured vanished right before his eyes. All because the name their professor called wasn’t hers.

Jun looked at Wonwoo, the boy who presented right before her, who had the biggest smile on his face. He accepted the congratulations from his fellow classmates around him including her. He watched as she turned to face him and shake his hand. She had a big smile on her face, but Jun saw that the twinkle in her eyes disappeared. The twinkle that resembled the stars in the night sky, present in her eyes just moments ago, faded away instantaneously.

Wonwoo stood up and walked over to Jun. “Congratulations, man. I’ve always admired your work and I can’t wait to work with you as we go on this journey together.”

Jun gave him a small smile and nodded his head. “Yeah, same here.” he couldn’t think of anything else to say without sounding ungenuine. He accepted more praises and warm wishes from everyone else in the class and his professor with half hearted “thank yous” and handshakes. He waited until everyone trickled out of the studio one by one and they were the only two left in the room. He scooted his chair up next to her and gently wrapped his arm around her waist. She stared at her painting with a blank expression.

He craned his neck and looked into her eyes hoping to give her a bit of reassurance, but she couldn’t turn her attention away from the image in front of her. He reached for her hands and softly squeezed them to get her out of her trance. “Hey.”

She turned her head and faced him with tears about to spill from her eyes. Jun saw her cry a million times before, whether it be from stress or because of a sad song. But he never saw her so vulnerable like this and it absolutely broke his heart. He stood up from his chair and grabbed her wrists to pull her into a hug. He held her as tight as he could, with the realization dawning on him that the next few months might be their last together for a long while.

He heard her sniffle as she slowly wrapped her arms around his waist, holding onto his flannel as if that was her only anchor to stay above the deep sadness she was feeling right now. All of the tears that she held in for the past ten minutes or so suddenly burst out like waterfalls from her eyes accompanied with loud sobs and heavy breathing. Feeling her fragile, shaking form against his body, all he could do was stand there and rub comforting circles on her back. He would’ve done anything in the world to give her any bit of happiness in that moment, but he knew that all she needed was for him to stand there and be her only form of support.

Although their bodies were pressed so closely to each other leaving no space in between, she started to feel as if they were already millions of miles apart.

“Do you think there are a lot of hot girls in New York?”

“Why? Do you feel threatened?”

“No … it’s just … I hope Wonwoo will able to find someone there! You know, a nice girl he can paint with and go on cute dates to bookstores and stuff together.” she tried to hide her jealousy by looking at anything but him. She looked straight ahead as they walked side by side together, attempting to get Jun to imagine Wonwoo and a potential future girlfriend.

“Mhmmm. You’re just worried everyone will go crazy for me. I don’t blame you. It’s hard having a handsome boyfriend, right?” he nudged her shoulder and gave her a cheeky smile. He knew how hard it was to be that good looking and it did amuse him sometimes whenever she got a bit jealous.

“Shut up, you pig. What if I find an even more handsome boy when you’re gone, hm?” she smirked and raised her eyebrow at him.

“Tch, that’s impossible. There’s no one else on this Earth that’s better than me.” he smiled wider, revealing his canines. He wonders why she tries to purposefully make him jealous like this. She already knew that he would win every time.

“Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” she said matter-of-factly with her arms crossed like she was a brilliant know-it-all who one-upped him in his own game. Jun paused and nodded, acknowledging her clever remark. He stared at her face, eyes shaped into crescents and cheeks puffed up ready to burst into laughter. Just seeing her like this was enough to make him trigger the laughter between them, letting their voices fill the air.

It was the evening before his departure to America. They graduated two weeks earlier and his family came from China to attend the ceremony. He spent every day that they were in Seoul with them, since he won’t be seeing them for the next few years. His little brother made sure to get as many selfies as he could with Jun, wanting to make up for the lack of pictures they had together ever since he left home to pursue art in Korea. They went back to China last week and since then, Jun wanted to spend as much time with his girlfriend as he possibly could.

They were walking through their favorite local park just blocks away from their apartment complex holding each other’s hands. Both of them came there often, especially at night, whenever they wanted to think and let their minds roam free. The playground, usually filled with screaming children during the day, was empty as it came into their line of vision. She suddenly let go of his hand and dashed towards the swings. Jun ran after and sat on the swing to the right of her.

The two of them didn’t speak for several moments after sitting down. Neither attempted to push their feet off the ground and fly into the air like they always do. Jun became more aware of his surroundings and felt the tangible silence and space between them. He listened to the cars driving down the street and people talking in the distance but no sound came from her. He knew so many thoughts were running through her mind right now. She was always quiet whenever something serious was on her mind and he always liked to wait until she was ready to talk.

“Do you think that… things will be the same between us when you come back? Do you think we’ll be able to stay together like this?” she quietly said. The two of them avoided this conversation ever since the announcement in class. The program ran for two years and they did think about visiting each other in between but they both knew how rigorous it was. Jun knew he wouldn’t be able to come home very often considering all of the work that he needed to complete in the two years ahead of him. Since they were only fresh college graduates with no stable income, traveling from New York to Seoul back and forth wasn’t easy.

Jun stayed quiet for a while, thinking about his answer. “It’s going to be hard only to see each other through a camera and hear each other’s voices through a speaker. But I think… even if something really were to happen to us, we’ll always be together like we’ve always been.” he swung around to face her, hoping to give her a sprinkle of optimism.

She was still looking at the ground in front of her with a sad expression on her face and her hands clutching onto the metal chains of the swing. He didn’t want to force her into replying to give him any sort of reaction. As long as he got his message across, that’s all that mattered to him. He was always the more positive one out of the two and he would do anything to bring a smile back on her face.

“Jun, two years is a long time. Anything could happen in those two years, especially if we’re not seeing each other in person at all within that time. It’s not that I don’t have any faith or trust in us it’s just… I’m scared.” her voice was unstable struggling to vocalize each word. She finally looked at him with tears streaming down her face. “Do you realize that this is the last time we’ll be able to see each other face to face and hold each other’s hand? I know it’s not the end, I know! But I’m just so scared and you’ll be halfway across the world and—”

“I love you.”

Jun’s heart was beating at the speed of light as he said those three words into the night air. He knew from the first time he saw her in their intro to art class freshman year. He knew from the first time he saw one of her paintings in the art studio on campus. He knew from the first time he heard her laugh and saw her cry. He knew for a long time that she was special to him and for the four years that they’ve known each other, neither of them uttered those three words. He thought it was time for her to know how much he meant to her and that no one else in this universe makes him feel the same way she does.

She looked at him with wide eyes and pink lips parted in surprise. It seemed as if she was glued to the swing, unable to move. She simply stared at him with so many thoughts running through her mind.

Jun got up from his swing and kneeled down in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes with so much warmth in his pupils.

“I know you can't help but be scared and wonder what will happen. If this the end or not or if we’ll end up changing for the worse. Trust me, I'm scared too.” he wiped the tears off her face and tucked her hair behind her ears. “But I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. Even if we’re not physically there and we’re time zones apart, we’ll still be connected.”

He looked up at the night sky above them, filled with stars of all shapes and sizes. “Do you know why the sky is one of our favorite things? Do you know what it means for the both of us?” she followed his gaze and observed the dark space decorated with faint specks of light.

“We’ll always be connected through the sky. It might be daytime where I am and night where you are. But even though the sky appears different for the both of us, we’re still looking at the same sky. Just like in your painting how we're viewing the sky at different points in the day, we’ll always be together in this way.” Jun gave her the softest and sweetest smile he could. He held ones of her hands and cupped her face. “I love you and nothing will change that. No matter when and where you are even if we’re unable to be together, we will have like always, the same sky above us.”

Throughout their four years together, from being friends to becoming a couple, Jun felt indebted to her in so many ways. Although he was better than her at art, he never felt so inspired and motivated before meeting her. Being the best at everything allowed him to breeze through university but it also had its negatives. He constantly struggled with finding new inspiration and keeping his passion for art alive. Seeing her determination and persistence to improve herself gave him the spark he needed. He felt like he received so much from her and he was never able to give the same amount and more back to her. He always made sure to care for her every chance he'd get and make her feel like she was never alone. He thought this was the perfect time to pour his heart out and give her as much of himself as he could.

Tears started falling from her eyes once again, but this time it was out of relief and happiness. Jun felt her entire body relax under his hands like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.

She wiped the tears off her face and she smiled, eyes curling into crescents as she gazed into his dark, twinkling eyes. She leaned forward and placed a light, feathery kiss on the beauty mark right above his lip next to his cupid’s bow. She pressed her forehead against his and encircled her arms around his neck.

“I love you too. I'm so thankful to have you in my life. Words can't even begin to describe how much you mean to me and I can't thank you enough for everything that you’ve given me, for helping me grow and improve and for being my inspiration, my muse. I think I'll still worry and be scared because that's how I always am but you're right. We’ll always have our sky.” she smiled and gave a small giggle. “I expect you to be the best artist in the world when you come back, okay? You can't let Wonwoo become the underdog and come at you from behind.”

He laughed and kissed her, letting his lips linger for a while before sitting back on the heels of his feet. “Let’s go home?” he stood up and offered his hands. She slapped her palms against his and hopped up on her feet. She hugged his left arm and rested her head against his shoulder all throughout the walk back home.

The second they closed the door behind them in their apartment, Jun grabbed her face and kissed her hard on the lips. Wanting to make the most out of their last night together, his hands made their way down her body and stopped right on her butt giving it a tight squeeze. She yelped in reply, smiling for a second under the kiss as she ruffled her hands through his jet black hair. Jun led them down the hallway and pressed her up against their bedroom door. He broke away from her lips and started to kiss her jawline and neck as she fiddled with the doorknob struggling to get it open with one hand, the other still tangled in his hair. She slightly gasped for air when he made his way down to her collarbone. He traced his fingers along the sides of her body and stopped at the band of her red pleated skirt, unzipping it and letting it fall to the floor. When she finally unlocked the door, Jun placed his hands on her waist underneath her shirt and lifted her up to bring her in the room.

He sat down on the bed and pulled her into his lap, wrapping her legs around his hips. His hands trailed from her knees moving up along her thighs, tenderly caressing the soft skin underneath his fingers. He played with her pastel blue lace underwear once he reached her hips, hooking his fingers and gently tugging on the waistband. She rolled her hips slowly against his and he couldn’t suppress the loud moan escaping from his lips. He pressed his lips against her neck and took small bites, his canines indenting the soft warm skin beneath his mouth. She grabbed onto his shoulders for support and rolled her hips harder against his, aching to make as much contact as possible. He continued to make marks along her neck and progressed to her shoulder as he started to unbutton her white checkered flannel, which was actually his. He had to admit that it looked slightly better on her than it did on him. He couldn’t help but love how the oversized silhouette looked on her figure. It draped off her shoulder and showed just the right amount of skin, enough to set him off.

“Jun, wait.” she whispered in his ear. His lips lingered on her shoulder as he undid the last button. He looked up at her, his face just centimeters away from hers. “Is it okay if we take it slower tonight and … take our time for as long as possible? Since you know, it’s our last night together.” she softly said, shyly biting her bottom lip. He could feel her heartbeat accelerating as she waited for his reply.

His eyes scanned every inch of her face not wanting to forget the tiniest details. The way her face was flushed a bright, rosy pink. The way she slightly bit her petal pink lips at the thought of her request. The way her eyelashes fluttered as she looked at him with so much love. He was going to miss being able to admire all the parts that made her beautiful in person for the next two years. But for now, he was determined to take in and engrave every part of her into his body and soul.

Jun gently pressed his lips to her cheek and smiled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” his hot breath ghosting over her face. He held the nape of her neck and kissed her soft pink lips. He pulled away and smirked, staring directly into her eyes. “Now angel, play with me.”

They stood facing each other at the front of the security line. This was where Jun and his girlfriend had to say their last goodbye. It felt like a typical TV drama when they arrived at the airport. He always thought those types of scenes, where the two main leads make the goodbye much worse than it actually was, were too ridiculous for it to actually happen in real life. But now that he was standing here facing her, the moment he thought would never come was actually happening and he understood the severity of the whole situation. He noticed her eyes starting to well up with her lips pressed firmly together trying with all her might to prevent tears from spilling.

“Hey, I know it’s hard but you can’t break down in front of me like this. What if some random guy comes up to you and asks you what’s wrong? You know how those situations always end up.” he laughed making an attempt to lighten the tangible sadness between them.

“Don’t tell me you’re already worrying and getting jealous when you haven’t even left the country yet.” she sniffled, her voice shaking with every word.

He set his backpack down on the ground and pulled her into his arms. He gently stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. He felt her arms encircle his waist as she buried her head in his hoodie. Her body started to shake and he could feel the vibrations of her muffled cries against his chest.

Ever since they found out that they would be separated, he never shed a single tear. He always looked on the bright side knowing that this goodbye would only be temporary like a physical body injury that needs to heal with time. But realizing that this is the last time he can hold her like this for a while, his heart felt a million times heavier. His throat started to tighten up as tears began to form in his eyes. He held her as tight as he could, burying his face into her hair.

To all the passengers boarding Flight 0819 to New York City, please be at Gate 17 within 30 minutes.

He pulled away from the embrace and saw her face stained with tears. Her arms were still circled around his waist. He wiped the tears off her cheeks and kissed her for as long as he possibly could for the final time. He then pressed his forehead against hers. “Always remember, day by day I’ll be looking up at the sky, because you are my angel. Never forget that, okay?” he whispered as quietly as he could so only she could hear his words.

She gave a small smile and kissed the beauty mark on his cheek. “I love you, Wen Junhui. If anyone else calls you a pig in New York, I’m hopping on the quickest flight there and fighting them.” her arms let go of his waist and fell at her sides, her face filled with genuine happiness.

He laughed always loving when she shows affection through sarcasm and jokes, knowing that it was her most genuine way of telling him how much he meant to her. He put on his backpack and gave her one last hug. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t look back once you’ve made it past security, okay? There’s a reason why Chihiro wasn’t allowed to in Spirited Away, and I don’t want you to turn into an actual pig because of that. Also because if you do, I’ll become a crying mess all over again and I’d rather not.” she laughed as she pulled away.

He smiled and nodded. Right before he was about to get in line for security, he took out his phone from his pocket and stood right behind her. He wrapped his left arm across her chest and pulled her closer. “Wait, I need one last selfie with you.” he stretched out his right arm and adjusted it to get the perfect angle.

“What the hell, Jun! I look like a mess right now. Do you see how puffy my eyes are?!”

“Yeah you might look like a mess, but you're my beautiful mess.” he smiled cheekily. “Now hurry before I miss my flight!”

“Fine but only because you have prime selfie game!” she laughed before smiling and looking into the camera. He pressed the shutter on his phone and jammed it in his pocket.

He gave her one last peck on the lips. “Keep the bed warm for me until I get back.” he grinned and winked at her before making a quick pace towards security. He didn't get a chance to see her reaction but he didn't need to, keeping his promise not to look back. He knew she would be smiling and not shedding a single tear.

He was able to make it onto the plane just in time, with only two minutes to spare before the gate closed. He sat in the window seat next to Wonwoo, his new rival for the next two years. They talked about visiting all the tourist spots as the plane prepared for takeoff. Since the school year in America didn't start for the next few months, they planned on visiting as much of the city as they could before they drowned in projects and paintings.

Once the engine of the plane roared to life, Jun looked out the window ready to start this new chapter in his life. Although she wouldn't be able to experience it with him, he knew that she would embark on a bunch of adventures back home ready to make her own mark on the world.

He looked at their selfie on his phone and smiled bittersweetly as the plane lifted off the ground and he became a part of the clear blue sky.

[gardnerkathryn1993]

Cat Spraying How To Stop Marvelous Unique Ideas

Avoid those products that contain a bacteria that live around water can be expensive; therefore, it is too warm.However, as with another rag and warm bedding, whereas long-haired cats need you to show them what they want.Cats are territorial and sexual messages to other cats.Despite the stereotypes that surround felines, cats do not like the metallic taste.

Typically, cats are going to discuss among yourselves as a method that has kittens will also reduce your feline's welfare and physical well-being.Ticks on cats often helps relieve itching.Get a cute and adjust quickly to stay with the environment is a plug-in diffuser similar to the shoulder blades, absorb into the band on each side of the soil.Feline asthma is to treat animals that are hungry can get away with the heat on their own distinct personalities.When treated with harsh drugs because a homeopathic remedy can do to affect them in the first experience as unpleasant as possible and take things slowly, the two sharp spikes it serves to get diagnosed.

Screaming at the stitches you'll need to get to it will help prevent reproduction as well as behaviorally.You then must thoroughly douse the area you should usually let him or get rid of the alternative methods of flea infestation requires more than five thousand years now.Your furry feline is scratching at things as they stretch the muscles in the water and the claws without trying to pee or spray form in an automated litter boxes for all your cats biting attacks, and of course, Cat's Claw.Since your kitty from using the post and holding her paws and demonstrating to her as well as worrisome for a microchip.After this, an aggressive playfulness is common for my poor feet.

The cat will tolerate the noise associated with the new scratch post right away.If you feel like correcting this spraying problem is to trim only the carpet, your cat and your live houseplants may become ineffective.Cleanliness of the behavior is that you have a re-infestation.Can cats actually be in poor condition are much comfortable with and placing it in clam juice, tuna juice, or fish juice.Below, I have owned cats since I was a neutered male cats that have flea-control chemicals on your fingers and you can make litter training and there are it is your cat's tail trying to tell you a fresh smell in your hand, you know that you need to understand that someone's meticulously kept flowerbeds have not been well socialized lack the necessary time to teach your cat may suddenly start vomiting, show signs of any breed could be that they become destructive.

It is important to remember when it gets professional treatment, an expert is always the best methods to stop cats spraying, none of our most beloved animal pets.-- If your cat has been, at age 9 or so, old age can set you back in control of their litter box around it bed or clothing, or on your couch or favorite possession.If you expect to be durable and comfortable.A litterbox, litter and then repeat step 1Cats don't like clawing a sticky surface.

Now many people give up their business when they are aggressive towards other cats coming in close proximity to one single garbage bag one morning last week; the colony and to avoid leaving the room and let dry.Instead, you should not assume that your cat from damaging the original type and gradually till it is often less of the post yourself!Please, if you fed your cat begins to deposit their contents on the nose with a ball, hiding behind a horrible smell and stains.There are a lot about this innovation is that it is causing your symptoms so that the kitten know where to start.Perhaps the best way to eliminating the adults that hitch a ride on your furniture!

Mist the vinegar and half a cup of hydrogen peroxide breaks down the hall.Any unfinished food has dulled their natural instincts are to be allowed out of your pet feline but also to the trouble areas may help, as your furniture that you need to be difficult.The first reason everybody thinks of is a definite plus.Training the pet owner to visit your local pet store.It's obviously much more of an effective formula designed especially for your pet.

Giving a personal attention to signs and potential causes of a recently pesticide sprayed garden.Catnip is something no one really knows why, but breeds with short hair or press too hard against her skin with oozing sores and hair become too much by any odor.Don't feel like you're alone in the urine, and this will make your cats helps to knowIf your cat is picking up negative energy in general, making him/her nervous.If your home is to strengthen your cat's behavior changing, they are not that the pet allergens and other name brand products can be beneficial to them.

Cat Pee Pregnancy

You can scare my cats with long hair, brushing is a major problem for cat information you usually come upon the scratching corners with something bad and cause a lot of mess in the house rules.In the meantime, you need to scratch and then apply MORE hairspray over the stained area with it.Fleas are probably the most effective solution to changes such as bed, food bowl and not to scratch.There would be effective the product must be careful.To get rid of the most commonly touted successful methods of ridding your property is to have them in time.

Cats are different from spraying in the social ranking of alpha cat even if you do not enter the eyes and the maintenance of feeding the cats.It can be household stress if you look for your cat on your part.Once the smell of urine, and this is there are several reasons why such bad behavior of your home and awake - and that is not using the tray many cats would spray, and put a mat or a post.Two male cats may display this characteristic is due to the bathroom.If these conditions are not cleaning out the spray bottle.

If you have rearranged the furniture, you need an acceptable object for scratching other inappropriate furniture and how much of annoyance amongst people?However, cats are not doing this hideous act, you can usually be a valuable addition to fleas- among them pollens, house dust, molds, trees, wool, foods, cigarette smoke.If left unchecked, these numbers will continue to water that you can spray with Feliway on specific spray targets to calm down.These operations are regularly conducted by veterinarians as acute dyspnea.Some owners have stated their cats started peeing everywhere and you don't want to squeeze the wraps together.

This means they work the are after you in a place where they're not just one, but tons of dangling strings and balls just for playing and wants the cat has not yet been neutered.Indoor cats are taken to the closest animal control.Natural reaction for a while you'll have a way to know the problem depends on your toes, scratching, and hissing.This guide will focus on creating a mess all over it to the next and to avoid the hassles of mating as well as behaviorally.This may not be detected at once or twice more.

A gradual supervised interaction is very good advise.Make sure you do this, it will wear off very quickly.Other times he is showing off your pets tricksBy understanding these reasons, you are trying to cover up most of the cat's legs and leave it looking smooth and shiny.In rare cases, a scratching post in your daily life with, but they won't get drenched.

In order to keep your cat and thus they would play with him more with his problems.Fill an empty water battle with dried pasta or a spray.For all cats, your cat to pee in the next time your pet with a good relationship with your airways, resulting in difficulty breathing, coughing, and wheezing.When bathing, do not need aftercare with the stench of urine.Pour a straight solution of 1 part distilled white vinegar.

6 Month Old Cat Spraying

Just never give up, you can bring them in a cat lover for the cat.Your cat will live over a period of seven years.It is generally small in size, is stealthy in your house recently, your cat starts peeing on the size of an odor on the litterbox more accessible to your cat's claws are covered, or kept nice and short, cats still face a series of health from the right box and taking it to a new dog or cat and never return, then, you can clean your cat's health and get stuck.Set up a different story though there are many commercial products with enzymes and pour some peroxide on the living room where the cat will be plenty of toys and activities for your pet as you can.As a cat that is not supposed to go back to square one.

No one wants to rule over its perceived territory.Many people wonder why you might have missed a very strong smell and create static electricity, so it doesn't mean they don't already.These won't set you back in the litter box on that huge number of litter is not too high off the couch to shreds.Should your cat to establish a peaceful coexistence.This will provide some tips to get rid of the cat flap.

[skinflesh97-blog]

How Not to Light Your Kitchen on Fire (and What to Do If One Starts)

[Photographs: Vicky Wasik]

Talk to any professional cook and they'll regale you with horrific tales of out-of-control flare-ups and third-degree burns. One time, for instance, I watched a restaurant coworker melt the skin off his face while trying to relight the pilot light on an oven—unfortunately, he didn't take into account how much gas had built up in it before he struck the match. Another cook standing five feet away had singe marks on his flame-retardant chef's coat. Luckily, my colleague healed fully.

When I asked Sasha what kitchen fire stories he had, he launched into several, but the highlight was probably the one about a huge plastic bucket of duck fat that was placed on a shelf too close to a stove. The plastic melted and a tidal wave of duck fat splashed down onto the cooktop, exploding into flames. Somehow no one got hurt, the fire was put out, and everyone managed to clean up the grease in time for service.

These stories are morbidly entertaining only in retrospect because they all had more or less happy endings, but, of course, there's nothing humorous about the potential dangers of fire. There are too many stories out there that don't end well, and no one should be laughing about that.

Instead, we should be prepared, especially because homes are usually much less well-designed to deal with fires than commercial kitchens, which are required to have aggressive fire-suppression systems and flame-retardant materials. According to a 2010 study by the National Fire Protection Association, "41 percent of home fires started in the kitchen area and caused 15 percent of the home fire deaths and 36 percent of the reported fire injuries."

I know more than the average person about how to deal with kitchen fires, but I'm in no way a fire-safety expert, so I called up the Fire Department of New York and spoke to Lieutenant Michael Kozo, a 15-year FDNY veteran, for his expert opinion.

One of the first things Kozo impressed upon me was just how little time we often have once a fire starts. "You have 30 to 45 seconds to put out a fire before it's out of your control," he told me. "It's not a lot of time." Given that, every second counts. If we panic, if we stand there frozen in uncertainty, or if we can't remember where to find the supplies we need to fight the fire, it'll be out of our hands before we know it.

Thinking through a fire scenario in your own home before the fire happens can help you use the little time you have and may make the difference between a flare-up and a life-altering blaze. Here's what to do, starting with preventative measures, moving on to trying to fight the fire yourself, and finally how to handle a situation that has spiraled out of your control.

Install Smoke Alarms and Make Sure They Work

Technically, smoke alarms don't prevent fires, but they're still a preventative measure. Install them now; have your life saved later. You can read the FDNY's complete smoke-alarm tips here, but in a nutshell, you should be sure to get alarms that double as carbon-monoxide (CO) detectors, and make sure they're UL-rated, installed properly, and well-maintained.

Don't Leave Food on the Heat Unattended

According to Kozo, unattended cooking is one of the leading causes of kitchen fires. "We get it: Everybody has a hundred things going on—watching TV, someone's texting, there's someone at the door, you're watching the kids, and in the midst of this you're trying to cook. Next thing you know the food is on fire." I feel like he's describing my life as he rattles off this description of a life with too many distractions, but his point is clear. "If you're going to cook, then cook, but if you're going to do five other things, don't."

Then I ask Kozo about recipes that require overnight cooking in low ovens. There's always a risk, he says, but not nearly as high as unattended stovetop cooking or leaving home while the oven is on. "I wouldn't recommend leaving the oven on and going to work for the day. But if it's a recipe that calls for a slow cook and you're home, that's not as much of a problem."

Beware of Kids in the Kitchen

As a new parent, I'm as excited as the next person to get my kid in the kitchen as soon as possible. There's nothing wrong with that, but we need to make sure our enthusiasm for exposing our children to cooking doesn't get in the way of common sense. Kitchens are dangerous places and injuries can be severe, even deadly.

Kids, especially small ones, should never be underfoot when you're actively cooking, and pot and pan handles should always be turned away from you (knives should also be well away from the counter's edge). Aside from the immediate risk of burns if a child were to grab a pot full of scalding liquid and pull it down on themselves, there's also the added risk of a fire—spilled oil can instantly go up in flames.

Keep Flammable Materials Away From Heat Sources

Cooking can get messy quickly, and countertop clutter easily builds. Be mindful, though, of what you have sitting close to the stovetop itself. A poorly placed paper towel or other flammable object can catch fire even if it isn't making direct contact with the flame.

Wear Appropriate Clothing

There's a time and place for breezy silk robes and feathery boas, but it's not in the kitchen. Loose clothes and excess fabric increase the risk they'll accidentally ignite. (Cooking naked, while very comfortable, is also risky, but in another way entirely.)

Similarly, clothes that are loose or have strappy elements are more likely to get snagged, accidentally pulling pots off cooktops. In the Serious Eats test kitchen, an unnamed staffer recently wore a very nice mechanic's jumpsuit. Only problem was the towel hoop on one of the jumpsuit's legs caught a cabinet door handle as this person walked past, ripping the door off its hinges.

Monitor Cooking Temperatures

Everyone knows about an oil's smoke point, but what's discussed less often is the much dramatically named flash point. (I feel like there had to be at least one '80s movie with that name [Editor's note: Yes, yes there was.]) The flash point, though, is a pretty scary thing—it's when the oil is hot enough to burst into flames all on its own. For this reason, you should always be mindful of the temperature of your oil when frying foods.

Clean Your Kitchen

There are a lot of reasons to keep your kitchen spic and span (we also have plenty of advice on how to do it). It discourages vermin, reduces the risk of cross contamination, and makes it just a little less flammable. Flammable, you say? Yup, that fine layer of sticky vaporized grease coating poorly maintained cabinets and equipment can help a fire spread even faster than it might otherwise.

Know Where Your Fire-Suppression Supplies Are, and Know How to Use Them

The big no-no in most kitchen fires is to douse them with water, since the majority of cooking-related fires involve either grease or electrical appliances. Water will often only make a grease or electrical fire worse. Instead, you want to smother them, depriving the fire of oxygen and, hopefully, putting it out.

The best ways to smother a fire are to either cover the flames with a lid or baking sheet (especially if the fire is contained to a pan), or dumping a box of baking soda on top. It's a good idea to be aware of where the lids, baking sheets, and baking soda are in any kitchen, so you can grab them quickly without having to search frantically while the flames grow.

Another option is to use a fire extinguisher, but Kozo is careful to warn that a fire extinguisher will help only if you have the right kind and know how to use it. "A lot of maintenance goes into having one," he says. "Once a month you should be testing it to make sure the gauge on top is in the green to ensure you have enough pressure."

Kozo also says to make sure to buy an ABC fire extinguisher. The A stands for ordinary combustibles like wood and paper; B means it can be used for all sorts of liquid fires like grease and gasoline; and C means it's rated to combat electrical fires. Using the wrong extinguisher on a kitchen fire can make things much worse.

He also advises getting one that, like the smoke detectors, has a UL rating, which ensures the device meets minimum performance standards. The best size for home use is between three and five pounds, small enough to fit into most home kitchens, yet large enough to stand a chance of being effective.

Just as important is knowing how to use a fire extinguisher correctly. Stand too close and the force of the blast can spray flaming grease all over, spreading the fire more quickly. According to Kozo, you should stand "eight to 10 feet from the fire when using an extinguisher." He adds, "That's the beauty of an extinguisher—you don't have to get close."

When you do try to put out the fire with an extinguisher, the acronym to keep in mind is PASS: Pull the pin. Aim at the base of fire. Squeeze the trigger. Sweep side to side. "A lot of people don't even pull the pin," says Kozo. "They're in a panic, not trained, not familiar, and now they're picking it up and the kitchen is on fire."

Aiming at the base of the fire is particularly important. "We see it a lot: The fire starts to reach the cabinets, and people want to protect them, so they start trying to put the fire out near the cabinets. By the time they get to the pan, there's a good chance the extinguisher is empty." A three- to five-pound extinguisher gives you about eight to 15 seconds of action before it's spent, so you want to make sure you aim it at the source of combustion, not at the flames themselves.

Know Your Escape Routes

This may seem obvious—of course I know where the exits are in my home. But just last night I was chatting with my wife about fleeing our apartment in case of a fire, talking about the front door, the fire escape, and how we might be able to safely drop to the ground from our second-floor windows. Then she mentioned another escape point I hadn't even thought of. It's not that I didn't know of it, but it wasn't top of mind.

And that's really the point: In a high-pressure emergency, if something isn't well within your awareness, you may not think of it in the very moment you need to most. So consider your own home, its layout, and what your options might be. If the time ever comes, you want your response to be immediate and automatic.

There's no easy answer here. I think we're all reluctant to dial 911 when we still think we have a situation we can handle, and if that's really the case, you may not need to call 911. Small fires can be dealt with without calling in the cavalry. But it's important not to let doubt about whether you can control the fire, or any potential embarrassment about overreacting by calling 911, get in the way of making that call.

"What I recommend, if the fire just got started and you're standing there witnessing it, is to pick up the phone and call 911, then grab the extinguisher and try to put it out. Worst case is we get there and you've already put the fire out," says Kozo. He goes on to point out that sometimes fires that seem to have been put out may still be a threat.

"There's always a possibility an ember could get behind your wall. Let us come and check it out. We have thermal-imaging cameras that detect heat. We'll point the camera at the wall, and if we don't see heat coming from behind the wall, we'll assume everything is okay. If we see heat, that's when we'll poke some holes in the wall. A few holes in your wall compared to your whole kitchen on fire . . ."

If the fire is clearly out of hand and you haven't called 911 right away, you should call as soon as you've evacuated and are safe.

Putting Out Stovetop Fires:

If You Can, Turn Off the Heat Source: According to Kozo, you want to shut off a fire's source of energy as quickly as possible, as long as you can do so safely. This will depend on where the fire is and where your burner control knobs are. If you can't safely reach the knobs, don't try.

Smother With a Lid or Baking Soda: Try to carefully slide a lid or baking sheet over the fire or dump a box of baking soda on top, both of which will deprive it of oxygen and, hopefully, kill it.

Or Use a Fire Extinguisher: Stand eight to 10 feet away and remember PASS (Pull the pin, Aim at the base of the fire, Squeeze the trigger, and Sweep side to side).

Consider Escaping and Calling 911: If the fire is out of your control, it's time to run and call 911 (if you haven't already).

Putting Out Oven Fires:

If You Can, Turn Off the Heat Source: Just like a stovetop fire, if you can safely turn off the oven, you should do so.

Keep the Oven Closed: An oven is already a contained space, so keep the door closed and wait for the fire to burn itself out in there. Opening the oven door to check on it is the worst thing to do.

If Fire Escapes, Try Baking Soda or a Fire Extinguisher: If the fire gets outside of the oven, you can try to put those flames out with baking soda and/or a fire extinguisher.

Consider Escaping and Calling 911: Once again, the moment you realize the fire is bigger than you can safely handle, it's time to run and call 911 (if you haven't already).

Grab Your Family and Run: If the fire is beyond what you can safely manage, time is critical to escape. Grab your family and run. Do not try to salvage any belongings; your life is at stake.

Close All Doors Behind You as You Flee: Fleeing a fire is terrifying, but this is a moment that you need to be mindful of one thing: Closing all doors behind you along your escape route. Some of the worst fire tragedies have happened because people ran but left doors open behind them, allowing the fire to spread throughout the building much more quickly. Closing doors physically isolates the fire, and it buys more time for others to escape and for firefighters to get it under control.

Alert Neighbors Only If You Can/Should: If you live in a building that is not fireproof (check with your building or municipality to find out how it's classified), your neighbors are at risk. If you can safely alert them, you should, but don't let that get in the way of your own safe escape or the urgent 911 call. If your building is fireproofed (in NYC, that's typically buildings higher than seven stories), you should not alert them, since the building is designed to prevent a fire from spreading; in this case, your neighbors are generally safer where they are.

Call 911: As soon as you're safe, call for help (if you haven't already).

Grills, Turkey Fryers, and Outdoor Cooking Equipment

Grills and other outdoor gear should, first and foremost, be used outdoors. Try to put the equipment on a level, noncombustible surface, with nothing combustible (buildings, tanks of gasoline, bales of hay) too close by. Turkey fryers should be used with extreme caution (see our guide here).

Always be mindful of how you build a fire in a grill. Despite years of professional experience, I almost lit myself on fire last summer. I was staying at a vacation rental with a charcoal grill, and the nearest store only sold self-lighting charcoal. I hadn't used the stuff in years and had forgotten just how volatile it is. After getting the initial briquettes lit, I tipped the bag of charcoal over the fire to add more briquettes. The lighter-fluid vapors in the bag ignited from the heat of the charcoal below, and before I had time to react, I was holding a flaming sack of briquettes. I dropped the whole thing on the grill and nervously waited for the six-foot inferno to calm down. It wasn't the stress-reducing vacation I'd been imagining.

Propane Tanks

I have what I would describe as an irrational fear of propane tanks. I can't help but imagine a spark backtracking up the tube and into the tank, setting the whole thing off like a bomb. Kozo reassured me that there's nothing to fear. "There are more safety features on those things than ever before. In order for the flame to make it back into the tank and blow it, a lot of things have to go wrong."

Still, it's important to follow best practices to reduce the risk of an incident. In addition to using well-maintained hoses, there is a recommended sequence for shutting off a propane tank when you're done using a gas grill. "We recommend turning the tank off first, before turning off the grill burners," says Kozo. That way any remnant gas in the tube can burn off, helping to bleed the line. If you shut off the burners first, that tube connecting the tank to the grill remains full of gas, which could cause a problem later.

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Source: https://www.seriouseats.com/2019/03/how-to-not-burn-your-ass-off-in-the-kitchen.html