#but I’m also afraid that there’s gonna be something wrong with me that’s unficable and then it’ll be
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I need to go to the doctors soon
#there’s a few issues with that because#nvm#I’m trying to sleep but I’m in so much pain#I’ve realized how much pain I’m truly in at all times#or I’ve realIed that I’m not supposed to be in pain all the time#either or#but yeah#I know it’s gonna get worse as I get older#I don’t want to spend my twenties in bed#but I’m also afraid that there’s gonna be something wrong with me that’s unficable and then it’ll be#like a timer#but I don’t wanna be in pain anymore#but I also don’t want to die#I’m just double afraid that they’ll ignore my pain esp since I’ve gained weight again#but like. can’t diet withoult relapsing. n standing/sitting/laying down already hurts like hell so like#what’s the solution?? if i could work out without pain I would#esp if I had a reduction??? because it’s so hard to exist with h cups 😭#they hurt alll the time which probably isn’t normal and I’m still bleeding#I hope I don’t have a blood clot because my sister did from her bc and it nearly killed her#it’s complicated I’m suicidal but I don’t wanna die I just want a differnt life#but I also know that I’d go thru all this horrible shit again as long as I could spend this time I have with chevy#so I guess I don’t want a different want. just a better one#but I don’t think it can get better. I’m so tired#breathing is getting hard again. not like wheezing more like. not enough air in general#idk what’s wrong
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