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#but a pt’s grandma was so genuinely grateful for me taking the time to explain everything we were doing to help her grandson
bo0zey · 1 year
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i’m scFfredscsfed scatsdww scared
#i just wanna embrace my mania but i have work in 4hrs n i barely slept over the last 4 days n pulled an all-nighter last night#like ik it’s not smart to work a 12hr shift without sleep but Fuck i just wanna!! b awake!!#actually i’m lying down in the dark rn n it’s kinda making me sleepyish#but now i’m worried my body will want to catch up on +56hrs of zero sleep n i’ll sleep thru my alarm uvhhhh#i had work yesterday and did surprisingly well despite the all nighter i pulled ??#i got all my IV sticks!! n im getting better at burping the saline bags!!#my only issue is i’m kinda slow but idk i just get caught up talking w the patients or their families#like i like spending time w the kind ppl and joking with them and taking the time to help educate them abt their ailments#but i work i the ED so i gotta pick up the pace!! but also manic me loooooves chatting n that’s where i fell kinda short yesterday lol#but a pt’s grandma was so genuinely grateful for me taking the time to explain everything we were doing to help her grandson#she said ‘god bless you’ and her genuinity was real i felt she truly meant it#she even said ‘and god bless the woman who put you here on this earth’ n i was like#;-;tyvm i’m actually here doing this bc of my mom!! she passed away when i was 16 n the woman said a little prayer jsut basically telling#god to Reallh watch over me n im not religious at all and i hate god but my mom was v religious n i have no problem w others beliefs#but idk i was really touched i guess like wow maybe i’m not that annoying/horrible of a nurse bc i’m kinda unprofessional when i talk?#i just like to make light out of things to help pt’s feel heard and validity and i want them to know i care and want them to feel as safe#w me as possible during the#time they’re in my care#ik i probably just should’ve been a psych RN from the start but i rlly felt a calling to the ED??#also there’s a Lot of psych in our ED sooo 2 birds 1 stone !!#also the grandma told me she really appreciated how i spoke with them so openly and teach them things abt their loved ones condition#she said ‘never change that. your soul is beautiful and one of a kind’ or smthin like that n it was incredibly validating to me#cuz i felt like an idiot talking so much or maybe explaining things more than they wanted to know?? but the o grandma was soo appreciative??#i know i need to practice reigning myself in but with certain patients it’s just so easy to see them as another human being than a body#ok i’m kinda tired now but i’m fuxk dd bc if i fall asleep i’ll o my get 2.5hrs MAX n imsooo scared of not waking up on time!!#ok ok okimvinn finn big gonna go#ramblings
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The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 6
Hannibal sits in on a regular conversation between y/n and her family. Y/n insists it could have gone worse.
⚠️Bigass trigger warning⚠️: Verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, blood, mention of alcohol abuse and suicide
Anna lived her life believing that she was the main character, constantly denying personhood to everyone around her. She was the romantic hero, and everyone else existed to forward her plot.
This metaphor was imperfect, however, because in all the books you'd read, the main character must overcome some kind of challenge. Nobody ever said no to Anna. Nobody ever criticized Anna. Nobody but you. So you were pigeonholed into the role of antagonist for it. You had to give her credit; growing up on the receiving end of her and Theresa's torture was a compelling villain origin story.
It was obvious that she only wanted you at her wedding to present her with an obstacle. Heaven forbid her story progress without some semblance of petty drama out of her control. She'd cornered you into a painful catch-22; you wanted vengeance, but you couldn't give her the satisfaction of having her special day ruined. What was your play? Ruin it just a little? Walk away?
These thoughts passed through your mind as you sat through the boring ceremony. You wanted to lean over and whisper everything to Hannibal, but he seemed lost in his own thoughts. The vows seemed to drag on forever. Liam's English accent grated on your ears and you wished that he would just shut the hell up.
The ceremony concluded and you hoped to skip out on the reception with a purse full of mini cannolis, but fate had other plans. In a last-minute reach for some kind of scene, the blushing bride waved you over to the head table.
"[F/N]!" Anna shouted, with a big smile across her face. "Come on!"
You fought the urge to feel endeared by this. She looked too happy to be harmful. Your guard was all the way up as you and Hannibal approached the table.
Hannibal pulled a seat out for you while you studied Anna's expression. She fixed her doe eyes on Hannibal. You knew from experience that Anna had the same powerlust as grandma and Theresa. She was just better at keeping a lid on it.
"[F/N], you remember Liam?" Anna said, her voice brimming with excitement.
"Yeah." You nodded, scooting your chair up. "Nice to see you again, Liam."
"Good to see you again, too [F/N]."
"Liam is from Birmingham." She bragged, her smile somehow growing wider.
"Alabama?" You piped up before taking a drink from your water glass.
Every time you were forced to interact with Liam, she reminded you that the man with the strong and unmistakable English accent, was in fact from England. And every time, you slipped in the Alabama comment. It was never not funny.
"Liam, Anna," you said. "This is my fiance, Dr. Hannibal Lecter."
"Many congratulations to you two." Hannibal offered.
"Dr. Lecter, thank you so much for coming." Anna returned. "And thank you for taking such good care of our precious [F/N]. I hope she's not giving you too much trouble. She was quite a handful growing up, but we made it work."
"Don't flatter yourself, you're only four years older than me." You hide your passive-aggressive jab beneath a smile. "You can't take credit for a job you didn't do."
Grandma always thought Anna's protective, borderline maternal behavior towards you was adorable. Of course, it disgusted you. You were little more than an accessory to her. A baby doll she could simulate motherhood with. But, in fairness to her, that was all you were to the adult in the house too. Monkey see, monkey do.
"So have you two set a date yet?" Grandma interrupted your thoughts, just trying to keep the tension down.
"Goodness, no." Hannibal answered. "Ours is a long-term engagement."
"Yeah." You added. "Not until I finish school."
"Well, it's not my fault you aren't expected to graduate on time." Grandma said into her wine.
You tightened your grip on your water glass. "Well, changing your major halfway through will do that."
"I'm just saying," Grandma continued. Whenever she was 'just saying' anything, you knew she was raring to stir things up. "If you had just stayed the engineering track, you wouldn't have to keep Hannibal waiting."
"Well!" Anna cut in, offended that the attention was off her for more than a minute. "Liam and I waited until after college."
"Yes, Anna," Grandma said dismissively, before turning back to you. "Y'know, Dr. Lecter here could probably tell you that psychologically speaking, women are more likely to drop out of college and become strippers when they change their majors?"
Now it was Hannibal's turn to down his entire glass of wine. "Ms. [L/N], where did you get that information?"
"Oh, it was an article I found on Facebook." Grandma answered. "I'll have [F/N] send you a link."
"Ms. [L/N]," Hannibal cleared his throat. "Are you familiar with the concept of misinformation?"
"Of course." She looked offended at the implication that she could possibly not know something.
"See, social media websites like Facebook are inundated with misinformation campaigns." Hannibal explained. "Your claim is not rooted in any psychological fact."
"Yeah, also," You cut in. You scanned the area for escape routes if your attempt to change the subject went awry. "There's a wonderful documentary about how Facebook misinformation campaigns targeted rural counties in England leading up to the Brexit vote."
"Oh, we have a funny story about Brexit." Anna interrupted, taking the bait, hook line and sinker.
Before she could recount the same boring anecdote about being at some regional chain restaurant when the vote was cast, Theresa and her husband joined the table.
"Sorry we're late," Theresa sat down. "Damage control is a twenty-four hour job. What were we talking about?"
"Misinformation." Liam said.
"Perfect timing." You muttered.
"Finally, all three of my girls are together again." Grandma threw her head back and rejoiced. "When was the last time we all got together? Just us four girls, huh?"
"Remember the day before prom, we all went out go get manicures?" Anna reminisced. "And we took pictures of us all dressed up?"
"Oh I remember." You scanned the area for any alcohol to ingest.
"Oh, this is so funny." Grandma laughed hysterically. "Dr. Lecter, did you hear this story? [F/N] went to the prom with a boy who had all along been using her to get close to Theresa! They got together that night! Dated for two whole years after that."
"I've heard an iteration of it." He said, looking over his shoulder. He flagged down a waiter who was holding a bottle of champagne. "Leave the bottle, please."
"Don't drink too much, [F/N]." Anna scolded. "Save some alcohol for the rest of us."
You made sure to maintain eye contact with her as you filled your flute to capacity. "Grandma's paying, isn't she?"
"Anna, baby," Grandma said, rubbing her temples. "It's fine. Let [F/N] drink herself silly. It's a party, right?"
"Wow," Theresa sneered. You knew exactly what she was going to say next. "Like mother, like daughter."
Everyone at the table had enough decorum to recognize that Theresa went too far. You crushed the champagne flute in your grip, letting shards of glass dig into your skin. You glared at Theresa, blood oozing from your palm and dripping onto the white tablecloth.
Wordlessly, Hannibal removed the offending glass from your hand and swaddled the affected area in a napkin. He put pressure on the cut, letting the blood absorb into the cloth.
"Is this the famed '[L/N] woman telepathy'?" Liam whispered to Anna.
"No, [F/N] is just mad because her mother was a drunk who killed herself." Anna thought she was being inconspicuous.
"This has been fun." You stand up from the table. "Really. Great way to spend a Saturday."
"[F/N], sit down..." Grandma ordered, sounding exhausted. "You know Theresa didn't mean that."
"No." You said, each syllable out of her mouth pushing you a step closer to your breaking point. "Y'know what? No. I don't have to put up with this anymore. Anna, congratulations. I hope you and Liam have many long years together."
You turned around to exit as quietly as you could, Hannibal at your side. Your grandmother, who somehow hadn't hit her daily allotted dose of confrontation, wouldn't have it.
"Dr. Lecter, tell [F/N] she's being unreasonable." Grandma pleaded.
Hannibal raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise. In his long-spanning career, he'd never once met a person as tone-deaf as Beatrice [L/N]. He kept his quiet composure as he slowly approached the table.
"Beatrice," he said, beckoning her to lean in. He whispered something into her ear that left her stunned and quaking.
You could hear your grandmother's hysterical sobs growing softer as Hannibal hurried you out.
"Keep pressure on that cut, love." He instructed, talking over the increasingly loud shouts of agony from the head table. "You'll need a few stitches."
Once you were far enough from the venue, you had to ask. "What on earth did you say to her?"
"Nothing that you don't already know." He answered, facing forward.
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