#but also…..regardless of sexuality; does touch repulsion need to be fixed? if someone’s fine with it? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rebeccagomez026 · 5 years

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Impulsive/es - Weekly Reflections / Report of the Productivity of Our Group - Week 5

Something that I took from class this week was mostly from what I was feeling when we had our discussion on Tuesday.

I came in with the idea that it was only going to be a “discussion” [addressing people that do not show up (on time)] and how we can fix that. What I did not expect was a discussion on how to fix our classmates.

Before I realized this, I was thinking, ‘Well, as long as people have legitimate suggestions about how to improve the class, then I suppose I will go along with it.’ But, then it just was… not that.

I appreciate something that Destinee said in particular: ‘My problems with this class are personal.’ And, I feel that this should have been the distinction between what was a personal problem and a general suggestion to the entire class structure. As I was listening to people, I felt increasingly gross inside—shocked and, even, in disbelief.

In total, I only felt that there were about three suggestions actually made that I could see being applied to the class’s structure:

• 1 & 2— A mixture of what Daniel & Jacqueline said: There are times where class just seems too long, and there are times where it feels too short. How do we accomplish stretching out what is necessary in such a long time period? Maybe we have accomplished what we needed in thirty minutes, but next time we will need the full class time. -Can this even be resolved?

• 3 — Listening before asking

Everything else felt like personal jabs at other people. And, I know this because those particular people either: (1) gesticulated towards a certain group of people or (2) have told me themselves something that they were upset about in regards to [one] specific person.

Maybe that changed to multiple people. Whichever the case, I did not feel it was a problem affecting the whole class.

So, when I see these same people laud the honest and truthful words by G, explaining that what you are looking for is for us to at least try, I wonder why those people did not apply that same logic to their own problems with other people. I know one of the problems was that people did not seem to be “fully committed,” which is something I understand that you also seem to believe, but I disagree wholeheartedly. Just because you assume others to not be “trying” as hard (as others) does not mean that they are not. Maybe they personally feel as invested as they can be, even if they do not want to be; it is not something they can help and force themselves out of, but they are definitely trying in their own way. Not only that, maybe they are giving it everything they have, but you think they are not because you have your own standard of someone that is “fully committed.”

I agree with Josh when he says that everybody is so talented in their own way—every single one of them. I mean, how else would he and I be able to see that talent if those very same classmates are supposedly “not as committed”?

I believe this is why I was so repulsed and upset by this conversation, which is why when I spoke I felt the need to specifically say, ‘…what everyone else is saying is understood…and that these are problems to them---for them…’ Adding on, why I felt the need to remind ourselves about why we were supposedly coming together for this conversation, ‘…To me, it’s already expected. I’m used to it. If they’re gone, then how are they going to be accountable (—be adults), and how we’re still going to work with them [regardless].’ I meant it because I feel that we should all realize dancers are going to be gone and that we need to adapt to these circumstances, no matter what. Those that are gone should always be held accountable for being absent and understand they need to adapt once they return, just as we—who are not absent—have to adapt to that situation. Even though we are always apart, we are somehow, always, in communication through understanding this one, simple fact.

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As for the back-to-back warm-up that we do, I forgot to mention this before, but: I find myself unprepared each time.

In DNCE 188, I made this distinction with my cohort and taisha then because I knew what was going to be in my dance, but I think it is important to also put it here: There is a difference between consenting to touch and consenting to intimate and/ or sexual touch in dance. I am usually okay with both if I have stated that I am and [know for a fact that that is what I can expect from the activity], but when we do this warm-up, I never expect it to take that turn. I completely understand that some people are extremely invested in the activity, let me say that first. This is mostly something that I noticed about myself. For the first time we did the activity, I felt someone insistently pushing against my ‘private’ region, forcing me to move because I am surprised and did not know how to respond other than the automatic ‘I need to get away from this unwanted contact.’ Unfortunately, something similar happened on Tuesday where I was climbed on top of and (unknowingly?) rubbed against. If it was not clear, this was different from being rolled on or over by another person and/ or swaying against another before creating different movement from the contact. Needless to say, I was frozen in shock and wanted to leave immediately but did not know how to. This reminded me of something you said after the first time we did that activity where “it seemed like everybody was okay with being touched”, but all I could think of was that I was not okay with it and sometimes people are just really good at not showing surprise when they are in “performance mode;” or, it just so happened that you were focused elsewhere when someone was clearly not okay with being touched, and it was bad timing that you did not notice in the time that it happened.

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Group Report:

I feel that we make good progress. Although, I will say that there have been bumps in the road as it seems when one person is stressed and pushing an idea because they themselves need it that specific way, we strayed away from the idea. It is difficult to work with someone when you know you cannot reach them in that state. Though, by adapting to that situation, I can hope it will be fine.

#Civility #Consent #Dance as Political Activation

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