#but at the same time I’ve been very melancholic lately bc going through the holidays was hard
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*remembers that I have WIPs that I inadvertently failed to update over break*
*realizes I start back to uni for the spring semester in two days*
*resists the instinctual urge to hate myself for lack of creativity and motivation on the writing front*
#I know I could have put in more effort to sit down and pick my way through some pieces#but at the same time I’ve been very melancholic lately bc going through the holidays was hard#I have to remind myself that three of my ‘college years’ got stolen by Covid and that it’s okay to slow down a little#but it’s this constant internal debate of not being productive enough versus trying to rest#*sighs*#I want to write so bad but it’s become so hard for me lately sometimes#it’s all in my head begging to come out but when I actually sit down to do it I can’t focus#drives me crazy#then when I do it doesn’t feel like it’s enough#or that it’s any good#I know that’s my inner critic and she’s a bitch but I digress#just feeling a little down this evening guys#I know my worth isn’t defined by what and how often I post#but it sure does make me feel good#so lacking that little dopamine rush gets to me I guess#I’ll hush I need to try to sleep#good night for those who bothered to read all this :)
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