#but grooming is absolutely rampant in fandom and we need to talk about it

[longing-for-rain]

I’m genuinely so depressed at the state of online safety for teenagers. It’s considered normal or even expected in some circles to have massive lists of personal information including things that trigger you.

Why would you give total strangers that information??? Not to sound like a boomer but if you’re a teenager you shouldn’t advertise your age or even the fact that you’re a minor. And certainly not a list of things that are personally triggering for you! Do you know how vulnerable that combination makes you?

Not to mention that especially in fandom culture, there is this whole rhetoric of “having adult friends is normal and healthy :^)” and “don’t judge people for being into something that makes you uncomfortable :^)” like do you even realizing how conducive this combination of things is to grooming? Do you realize how dangerous it is to encourage kids to talk to adult strangers while shaming them for being uncomfortable? Do you not realize how easy it is for predators to identify victims and manipulate them with the combination of exposed personal information and this culture?

It’s so frustrating because it happened to me and I see it happen again and again, so many times, and nobody talks about it. And when someone does try and talk about it, people generally seem more eager to defend this toxic culture than think critically about how it can contribute to widespread sexual grooming. Do better.

[ellsss]

Toxicity in fandom.

DISCLAIMER: This is a personal post but feel free to reblog. I WILL NOT HESITATE TO BLOCK THOSE COMMENTING ON THIS POST WITH HOSTILITY. IF YOU HAVE FEEDBACK COME CORRECT

I have honestly had it up to HEREEEEEE!

I’m absolutely through with the rampant harassment, accusations and bullying I see online these days. I thought leaving fandom twitter was a solution to this, and that I would finally stop seeing people be harassed, shamed, and called horrible names for things that shouldn’t be as big of an issue as people make them out to be, but in actual fact, I’ve come to realise that being on tumblr, TikTok and Instagram is just the same.

I’ve noticed people actively talk and seek out things that make them uncomfortable, and instead of curating their own online experience and talking to close mutuals about it or dm’ing the person they have an issue with in a calm manner, they make call out posts, harass others, let other people harass them, tell everyone to block them. And I am SICK. OF. IT!

This has become a normal thing on socials and it’s absolutely not normal.

It’s quite frankly, incredibly disturbing that it’s become so common and people actually get praised for “holding people accountable” or “calling it out” which really means punishment and condemnation. Personal arguments or criticisms (even valid ones) shouldn’t be done with an audience. I understand that some things do need to be condemned, but publicly shaming and letting everyone know what they did is so psychologically damaging and it only makes things worse.

Some things, if it truly puts people in danger, do need to be posted about, especially in regards to security, hate crimes (although there tends to be exaggeration with this sometimes), grooming and lying about yourself online. But in most cases, it’s about people’s feelings and not about whether it could really harm people. Feelings are important, and if something has made you uncomfortable and has upset you, that’s valid, and you can express it. But the way to do it is NOT by hurting someone else.

Something that’s been annoying me in the atla/tlok fandom is how so many people generalise people to make them the scapegoat for the toxicity, especially when someone has done something in regards to race. I’ve noticed the constant influx of “white/cis people are the reason why POC(or even people in general) are leaving the fandom”. And to me, these posts do NOT solve the issue. They actually alienate and make ALL people of that community feel guilty for things they cannot change.

No one should feel guilty or wrong for just existing. That’s the point of solving the worlds ills isn’t it? That people feel and are treated as if they matter.

As a black person, I get the criticisms of some racism that goes on in this fandom in particular. Some of them are valid, however, some of them aren’t and are honestly just used to start shit. I’ve noticed that a lot of the time it’s the latter, and not actual cases of racism.

I agree that sometimes, there are white people that speak over POC in the fandom, and it is frustrating, especially when what’s being spoken about isn’t offensive. I also agree that sometimes, the claims of racist behaviour do need to be spoken about. But they need to be spoken about in the right way. Not in witch hunts and callouts.

If we are going to hold people to account, we need to hold ourselves to account as well. Self accountability is key.

If you have a criticism of what someone is doing you talk to them as if they have freaking feelings. You don’t chastise them and say “this is racist take this down or else” or “this is so unacceptable you are a horrible person”. Firstly, the first thing is a threat. Saying “or else” means you’ll do something if they don’t do what you want. And secondly, the second thing is a massive attack on someone’s character. Whether you think they are bad or not, you don’t respond to negativity with more negativity.

You also don’t resort to gate keeping either by saying “white people shouldn’t write fanfic for something that isn’t about them” or “you can’t draw this”. All of the things mentioned are things I’ve seen people say. That IS NOT the way to go about this. Also, just because something has minorities in it doesn’t mean that those who aren’t minorities can’t enjoy that thing, or that they can’t relate to characters. There’s more to these characters than their race and ethnicity (although representation is important).

Another thing that’s been really frustrating in fandoms in general is the way people react to the smallest things in fandoms. Especially within the resident evil fan base. Bekka Prewitt, the voice actress for Bela Dimitrescu was harassed for days on end because she missed a comment on a livestream saying “say gay rights”. They used that to say she’s homophobic.

In addition to this, there’s been a sudden backlash on a cosplayer, because she said she headcanons Lady Dimitrescu as straight. People piled onto her and said she was erasing her queerness, despite the fact that there was no confirmation of Lady Dimitrescu’s sexuality. I know people have said that because Maggie headcanons her as LGBT, that’s confirmation, but I just don’t see it that way.

To me, something is only canonised by the creators, so that would mean CAPCOM and the team. If there isn’t an official statement or a character profile by CAPCOM saying that she’s LGBT, in my books, people’s imaginations can go where they want with these characters.

It’s as if people are gatekeeping how others view characters now because they want representation so much. I love Lady D, and I personally HC her as a lesbian, but if someone doesn’t think that way I don’t feel hurt by that because I recognise that not everyone sees characters the same ways I do. And im saying this as a member of the LGBT community.

What annoyed me the most, is that when the cosplayer put out a statement apologising, people accused her of gaslighting because she said she wasn’t trying to hurt anybody and because she cried.

In fandoms, the usage of buzzwords like “gaslighting”, “manipulation”, “toxic”, “fascist” etc, are constantly weaponised by people doing the exact thing that they are accusing the other person of. One of the things I’ve noticed is that people who make these accusatory statements are THE most manipulative and toxic people, and THEY gaslight others without even realising it. This is the type of impulsivity and lapse in judgment that is ruining fandoms.

It’s as if people have turned fandom into activism.

For me, and probably many others, fandom is supposed to be an escapism from the horrors, the ills and the constant displays activism in the world. While activism is a good thing when done right, it shouldn’t be constantly displayed through something that’s supposed to help us forget. I get that in fandoms, especially in tv shows and movies created these days, it discusses important themes relevant to what’s going on in the world and in the fictional world explored.

But just because that’s the case, does not mean that projecting every current issue onto people’s opinions in fandom is a healthy way of dealing with that. It’s got to the point where people are full blown drown off of platforms and doxed because they don’t have the same ship, or the same opinions about well received characters, or about the themes in general because they’ve attached current issues onto these things too much.

What’s sad is that because of all of the things I’ve stated, whenever there is an issue that should be talked about posted by anyone, either mutuals or activism pages, I either roll my eyes or I literally feel nothing, because in my experience it’s all been performative and it’s only popular human rights issues that are being talked about. I want to care again. But, because of everything I’ve observed and gone through it’s hard for me now.

I didn’t come into fandom to be afraid of losing my livelihood, my sanity, and even friends that I have grown to love. All of these things I have observed haven’t made me feel safe. It’s made me stop trusting people, it’s made me more cautious, it’s even made me less tolerant somewhat.

I don’t want anyone else in fandom feeling this way, I think we need to do better in approaching issues in fandoms, and we need to recognise when there’s no issue at all, so people can enjoy content however they wish.

[grand-romantic]

I’ve been ignoring this whole thing because I don’t need to justify lies made by racists and incest shippers with a response, but some of these lies are really just getting out of hand. If you look at the actual “call out” in no way did we harass anyone. No where did we suicide bait anyone and in no where did we dox any one. There was a blog that was spamming me and other members of the server with asks. It was impersonating Simone’s blog so one of us looked up the IP address to see which repeat offender it was. That isn’t doxxing. It scared them enough to make them stop spamming and delete the fake blog. 

If you look at the call out there is no proof of any one dying. No one will show me proof of someones death and no one will show me proof of me harassing anyone. I have never sent a death threat, and I know for a fact no one in that server has either, so if someone did actually die because someone said racism is bad or a ship is nasty, then that’s their business, and if I was them I would feel pretty bummed that my friends are using my death to justify their gross ships anyway. None of the people bothering me seem like they’re in anyway grieving the loss of a dear friend of 5 years. Also they claim the impersonator was 12 not the person who supposedly died, and now everyone is all confused. Do you know why you’re all getting your info mixed up? It’s hard to keep a lie straight when it’s passed through so many people.

People seem to think this is about shipping drama? When in actuality it was about racism and transphobia and the rampant justification of child grooming incest and abuse that this fandom loves so much. If all those things sound like your ship then :/ that sounds like a you problem.

Nothing actually happened. It’s a post full of inside jokes and conversations taken out of context, but I thought I should address some of the bullshit. Once again, absolutely no one was driven to suicide by my or my friends comments. No ones address was publicly posted by my friends or myself. And no one was harassed by my friends or myself. Well, they did bother ashes a lot and while I think that person is gross I did constantly tell them to lay off. But that isn’t provided in the call out now is it ;P Btw I won’t link the callout because a lot of the people reblogging it ae MAPS and literal Pedophiles that follow the people who made it and GOD I will not be touching that.

Anyway, ladies. Take a deep breath and calm down. Everything is fine and this is the last I’ll personally be talking about it.