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bad-draft-stuff · 5 years

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Fate Goes (to the drs on a full moon)

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Sheepy: Eiji:.... *he's just watching Lance get up. Something appears to be bothering him...* Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... aa? Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, uh... Sheepy: Eiji: I'm stuck. Arsé-kun: Lance: ooough... *he leans down and plucks Eiji off the ground, like a carrot. yoink.* Sheepy: Eiji:...! Oh, th-thank you... Arsé-kun: *And now, having someone that does Not need to be sitting in the snow in his hands, Lance opts to go back inside. Not because he wants to (or would later claim)* Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thank you...I was get...getting cold... Arsé-kun: *Lance just nods, deposits him on a couch, and steals several blankets and blanket-adjacents to give Eiji. He then fucks off to do what is known as "A Bedivere move", a la using all of the hot water for an hour straight in the shower. bastard* Sheepy: *Eiji meanwhile succumbs to the comfiness that is blankets and takes a nap* Arsé-kun: *A tiny flower in a pot is placed on a nearby table, rescued from the cold outside. Mr. Pointy and Mini Cu-chan are placed next to Eiji. Three more capes are added to the pile. warm* Sheepy: Eiji: *he's warm and comfy. happy* Sheepy: *Bedi is looking at the flower* Arsé-kun: *it is Very Small, and for once, not one of Merlin's.* Sheepy: Bedi: ...Did he grow this, I wonder... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can say with pride that he did! *he's keeping his voice down, but he's still happy about it* Sheepy: Bedi: *he's visibly pleased* That's wonderful...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It may be small, but it took a lot to do. But he did it at all- That's what matters. Sheepy: Bedi: It's a step towards progress. Sheepy: Bedi: It's unfortunate that there's little we can do to help...if I was there...I could've done something maybe. Arsé-kun: Merlin: If anyone had been, it would have gone differently. Even knowing it was going to happen, there was no changing it. Sheepy: Bedi: If only there was something we could do now... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then why wait? Making no action gets nothing done. Sheepy: Bedi: What can we do? Sheepy: Bedi: We can be supportive and continue to hope that Chaldea can help us.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why not get some exercise? Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, that's a good idea. Sheepy: Bedi: Being inside all the time is depressing... I'd actually enjoy having a spar but I asked Sir Tristan and...Hm? Ah, you meant Master Eiji... Yes, that's a good idea. It's very stuffy inside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I did mean Master, but for us would be fantastic as well. What I'm suggesting is we take a small Chaldea mission to get back into the swing of things! Sheepy: Bedi: ....! Oh! Let's do that. Sheepy: Bedi: Do we call the doctor? Arsé-kun: Merlin: May be wise, but he could also be busy. Sheepy: Bedi: Then should we stop by? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Let's go then. Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks towards Eiji, in 10000 blankets* Sheepy: Bedi: We could do something in the meantime. Sheepy: Tristan: *sad harp strum* For example, we can discuss my inability to get a date. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not here..! Sheepy: Tristan: What? Arsé-kun: *Merlin gestures to Eiji* Sheepy: Tristan:..... Sheepy: Tristan: I see. The reason against it is because.... Sheepy: Tristan: Someone in this household has a crush on me. *big smile* Arsé-kun: Merlin: What?? No, our Master is sleeping! Sheepy: Tristan: ....*sob* Arsé-kun: Merlin: If someone does, sure, but I just meant to move this elsewhere..! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh. Sure. Sheepy: *Tristan leaves...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... I regret speaking. Sheepy: Bedi: I understand how you feel. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... So let us move this elsewhere, yes? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, let's not disturb him. Arsé-kun: *they move it elsewhere* Sheepy: Bedi: Where were we... Arsé-kun: Merlin: So we visit the doctor, and then take a minor quest, yes? Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Sheepy: Bedi: Afterwards he could get a checkup... Have you had your medical exams? Make sure to take care of your health. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Actually, no... Maybe we should all go before a mission. Sheepy: Bedi: Good idea. I am recently summoned so I should get a check up... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And the two dogs may as well get one, too. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Great, so our plans are set! Sheepy: Bedi: Now we just need to contact the two Cu Chulainns and prepare. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How hard can that be? Sheepy: Bedi: Probably fairly easy.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Only one of them works, so at least one is easy to track down. Sheepy: Bedi: That's true. Arsé-kun: *they go to talk to CasCu and Acu* Sheepy: Cascu: Medical checkup? What for? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, you know, just in case and while we're there! Master needs it, so we may as well get it over with for the season! Sheepy: Cascu:....*thinking*..... Sheepy: Cascu: Eh, whatever. Let's do it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fantastic. So where would Alter be? Sheepy: Cascu: Oi, Alter, get out here! Arsé-kun: Acu: *he doesn't give a public appearance, but he speaks up* You're not dragging me into your nonsense. Count me out. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...how unfortunate... Sheepy: Bedi:....It truly is disappointing that you believe that... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Oh, you're in trouble, big boy. Sheepy: Cascu:....Oi, Alter, you might just wanna agree to it and sneak out later. Sheepy: Bedi: We'll leave you alone once you're done with your checkup. Sheepy: Bedi: We'll be bringing Mini Cu with us since he was injured recently so I hear. You can hear his results right from the doctor. Arsé-kun: *Alter Cu has no reply to this.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: And after that, we'll be doing combat if we're lucky! Don't you want to come fight? Sheepy: Bedi: We can "stretch our limbs" like that one torture devixe but figuratively. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ??!? *he casts Bedi a very questioning look. where the fuck did he get THAT line from?* Arsé-kun: Acu: .... .... I will consider it. Sheepy: Bedi: Hm? Grif said it...so I asked Angra about it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That explains a lot. Sheepy: Cascu: You mean...stretch our legs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you not use your arms at all? Sheepy: Cascu: Hm? The phrase is "stretch your legs"... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can't believe this man skips arm day Sheepy: Cascu: I use 'em for writing out spells. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can't believe th*its the same joke again* Sheepy: Cascu: Oi! It's not MY fault I wasn't summoned with a spear! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe not, but you can still pick one up and go at it! Sheepy: Cascu: As if. This is wear my talent is at. Arsé-kun: *Acu quietly laughs at this. He does not seem to agree* Arsé-kun: Acu: Your talents are getting drunk and being a freeloader. Sheepy: Cascu: Oi! Shaddup! So I enjoy life, is that a crime?! Arsé-kun: Acu: It is a crime, and you're a disaster. Sheepy: Cascu: What...? Arsé-kun: Acu: I thought I was a disaster, but then I met you. Sheepy: Cascu: Oi, that ain't right! I've got a job, I fit in with the modern world... Sheepy: Cascu: So I've got a few unhealthy hobbies, so I'm not as popular as Lancer me. But you gotta admit... Sheepy: Cascu: I really put off that "big brother" feel! Arsé-kun: Acu: You're a drunk freeloading hippie that makes me look bad. Sheepy: Cascu: I've got a job so how can I be freeloading? Sheepy: Bedi: The ones who call themselves "big brother" types don't quite realize how accurate that descriptor is...and not in a positive way... Arsé-kun: Merlin: :V Sheepy: Cascu: What's that supposed to mean? Sheepy: Bedi: Eh... Sheepy: Cascu: Hey, that doesn't answer my question at all... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm fairly certain we're being insulted! Sheepy: Cascu: Oi, you can't just insult me to my face and slip it by smoothly like that! Sheepy: Bedi: *sweet smile* I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi, babe, I'd love to side with you, but that hits me too! Sheepy: Bedi: But you're not really a big brother type... Sheepy: Bedi: You're more of a weird-uncle-obsessed-with-aliens type, according to Satoru... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, then! When have I ever said that...? Sheepy: Bedi: Although I don't quite understand what that means, I suppose I can see it somewhat... Sheepy: Bedi: I'm guessing that it's a longer version of "quirky, yet dependable". Sheepy: Bedi: I could be wrong. Sheepy: Bedi: Why would you want to be an older brother? To bully your sibling? Arsé-kun: Merlin: To be a dependable older figure you can look up to, and also be bullied by. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...so not Lucan. Sheepy: Bedi: Lucan uses it as an excuse to tell me lies. ... Did you know that horses can't read your mind? I always tried to give Biscuit positive messages in case he was reading my mind... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd count that under bullying. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... Sheepy: Cascu: Did you know that dogs can smell colors, making up for them being colorblind? Sheepy: Bedi: ...!? Wh-what...? Really? The thought hadn't occurred to me...but I suppose that does make sense... Arsé-kun: Acu: Oh my god, shut the hell up. Sheepy: Cascu: Your problem isn't a bully for a big brother at all - you're seriously too gullible! Arsé-kun: Merlin: On the other hand, his favorite creature is a Beast, his boyfriend is a space slut magician, and we unfortunately know Sir Griflet the "What the FUCK have you gotten into now?". Arsé-kun: Merlin: But both suffices! Sheepy: Cascu: Beast? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've already said too much~ Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet is my cousin, it's hard not to know him.. Sheepy: Bedi: When we were children he'd chase Lucan around...there was a strange sense of primal fear like we were being chased by some sort of monster. I suppose now we know why, but back then it was probably the wild look in his eyes and him being unnaturally fast despite being younger than us. Sheepy: Bedi: I think the scariest part was him always just barely letting Lucan get away. It seemed incredibly calculated like a predator toying with his prey and not quite wanting the fun to end. He was fine towards me, but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But you don't know fear until a dragon chases you through unknown territory! Okay, we've gone off topic! Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose that's what being chased by him is like, but he thankful doesn't have any physical dragon traits...Oh, right, we are. Sheepy: Bedi: Where were we? Arsé-kun: Merlin: So yes, thank you for your cooperation in coming with us. Caster, are you working tomorrow? Sheepy: Cascu: Nope. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fantastic. Lets get it over with tomorrow, so we do not need to repeat it until next year. Sheepy: Cascu: Sure, sounds good. Sheepy: Bedi: Get rest before hand so you can be tip top shape for tomorrow. Arsé-kun: Acu: I'll consider it. Sheepy: Bedi: It'd make me really happy if you did so. Arsé-kun: Acu: I already said I would consider it. Sheepy: Bedi: I hope you go through with your considerations, then. Sheepy: Cascu: You want to get wrecked? Sheepy: Cascu: Because he's probably considering beating you up. Arsé-kun: *Acu's hand slowly reaches out from under the bed and grabs Cascu's ankle* Sheepy: Cascu:?! *he yelps and jumps* Arsé-kun: Acu: I'll smack him with your corpse. You should feel honored. Sheepy: Cascu: Oi! I'm no Lancer! I've got no guts skill! Use the wizard, not me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've got no guts either, don't drag me into this! Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think I want to be smacked. Arsé-kun: Acu: Then how about you "consider" going on your merry way, and leaving me alone. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize for pressuring you. It wasn't my intent... Sheepy: Bedi: I'll leave you alone now. *Bedi looks like a kicked puppy...* Arsé-kun: *acu cannot see this, nor would he act on it. tough shit* Sheepy: *Bedi leaves!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin, of course, goes with him* Sheepy: *So does the incredibly sad harp music and crying.* Arsé-kun: *this, too, is normal* Arsé-kun: Acu: .... *he drags himself out from under the bed* Fuck that. Sheepy: Cascu: What? You're not gonna go? Arsé-kun: Acu: Do you think I want more "tests"? Sheepy: Cascu: Nope. Sheepy: Cascu: But Master can force you to go anyway, right? Although... I can't see him forcing anyone to do anything.. Sheepy: Cascu:...I don't really wanna go either....We should unionize! Arsé-kun: Acu: What is this, America circa 1774? You're too slow anyway. Sheepy: Cascu: Oi! I ain't slow! Arsé-kun: Acu: Oi, you're slower than Medb's carriage on the side of the road. Sheepy: Cascu: Oh, knock it off! This outfit isn't made for running! Arsé-kun: Acu: Sucks to be you. Sheepy: Cascu: But at least I have a nice face. Arsé-kun: Acu: You look like a serial pervert mixed with a hippie. Sheepy: Cascu: What?! Sheepy: Cascu: I don't look much different than Lancer! Sheepy: Cascu: Or you for that matter..! Sheepy: Cascu: Seriously, think before you insult all of us. Arsé-kun: Acu: Fine. You look like a hippie. Sheepy: Cascu: I'm not that either...I just thought the no ponytail look was nice... Sheepy: Cascu: You're really hurtful, you know! Arsé-kun: Acu: I exist to put pain onto others. You know this. Sheepy: Cascu: Into others! So why me?! Arsé-kun: Acu: Because you look like you have a mullet. At least push it to the side. Sheepy: Cascu: It's grown out enough not to be one! Arsé-kun: Acu: I can't allow a fellow Cu to have a mullet and still live. *he "threateningly" prods Cascu* Sheepy: Cascu: I'll grow it out more...! Then it won't be a mullet! Arsé-kun: Acu: Just do something with it, please, it's an embarrassment. Sheepy: Cascu: *he crosses his arms, considering this* ...... Arsé-kun: Acu: .... But at least you don't bark at the front door. Sheepy: Cascu: What, like Setanta? Arsé-kun: Acu: Exactly like Satanta. Arsé-kun: Acu: We weren't even that bad at that age, were we? Sheepy: Cascu: I think something went wrong with his summoning. Sheepy: Cascu: Or maybe Lobo is a bad influence! Arsé-kun: Acu: Both sounds decent. Sheepy: Cascu: Maybe we should mention it... Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Acu: ! *he whips around, making sure his tail doesn't slam into cascu* No one invited you, wolf king. Sheepy: Cascu: How'd you get in here...?! Sheepy: Lobo: *whine* Sheepy: *Lobo removes himself from their wall before entering through their open door Sheepy: Cascu: Lobo, are you a bad influence on Setanta? Sheepy: Lobo:...... Arsé-kun: Acu: ....... Sheepy: Lobo: *he begins sniffing around the room* Sheepy: Cascu: You are, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Acu: If he chews you up, it is entirely your problem. Sheepy: Cascu: What?! Sheepy: Cascu: You wouldn't help me? Arsé-kun: Acu: I'd think about it, but you've left me in his jaws before. Sheepy: Cascu: Cruel! Arsé-kun: Acu: Yes. Sheepy: Cascu: I trusted you...! Arsé-kun: Acu: A mistake you won't make again. Sheepy: Cascu: Terrible. Awful! Sheepy: Lobo: *he sniffs at Acu* Arsé-kun: *Acu glares at Lobo* Sheepy: Lobo:...?! Arsé-kun: Acu: .... This is so stupid. Sheepy: Cascu: What? Arsé-kun: Acu: You're asking a dog that cannot speak questions. As if that will answer anything. Sheepy: Cascu: I dunno, he can...nod or shake his head? Sheepy: Lobo: *he lies down next to Acu and lets out a big yawn* Arsé-kun: Acu: He's a dog. *he yawns in turn* Good luck with that. Arsé-kun: *OK MOVING ON* Arsé-kun: *Everyone is ready to visit Chaldea! Eiji is as ready as he's gonna get, Merlin and Bedivere are ready as well. Caster Cu and Mini Cu-chan are prepared! Alter Cu is still in bed in a different room because Fuck That* Sheepy: Bedi: Now we just need Alter Cu Chulainn. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, who volunteers to go fetch him? Sheepy: Bedi: I'll be right back. *he leaves to get Acu* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ah. That works too. Sheepy: *Bedi returns with Acu's tail wrapped around him, dragging Acu with him... He cares not for the difficulties he's facing. He's faced worse* Arsé-kun: *Acu is just face down on the floor, letting this happen. He stayed up all night and is apparently expected to be functional.* Sheepy: Bedi: We're ready now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I suppose so! Sheepy: Eiji: Um...wh-what about... *he looks to Acu* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, he's physically present. I think that's the best we're getting. Sheepy: Eiji:...Okay, th-that's fine... Sheepy: Eiji: L-let's go. Arsé-kun: *and they do, with much grumbling from Acu. He Can Suffer* Arsé-kun: *chaldea; is in Antartica. the floors; tile. the tile; cold as fuuuuck. Acu; on the floor. acu; cold as fuuuuck. Trying to sleep despite this and being physically dragged over tile in public? Absolutely* Sheepy: *Acu n o* Sheepy: *Bedi doesn't give up either!* Arsé-kun: *Bedi's only problem is dragging another man, and he's a servant with a magical arm. He's fine.* Sheepy: *Bedi is that powerful* Arsé-kun: *Yes. Stronks* Sheepy: Cascu: How close are we? Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're almost there. Sheepy: Cascu:....Sure do hope that those claw marks are people not wanting to leave instead of not wanting to go! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, you know, Nightengale is sometimes here, so it's completely understandable. Sheepy: Cascu:...Nightingale, eh...sounds scary.. Arsé-kun: *Bedi is abruptly stopped by Acu digging his own claws into the floor. Both sets.* Sheepy: Bedi: Alter Cu, once we get done with it it's done. Sheepy: Bedi: Like nasty medicine. Arsé-kun: Acu: That is not my immediate concern. Sheepy: Bedi: What is it? Arsé-kun: Acu: I have dealt with Her enough in my lifetime. I am not afraid of her, but I certainly refuse to deal with that hellion. Sheepy: Bedi: That's unfortunate. Sheepy: Bedi: It seems like we'll just stand here until she takes things into her own hands. Arsé-kun: Acu: Then it seems we have reached an impasse. Sheepy: Bedi: How unfortunate. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Master, how are you holding up? Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'm, uh...tired, but oth...-otherwise fine. Sheepy: Eiji: ...Wh-why do you dislike Night...Night...- Why do you d-dislike her? Sheepy: Eiji: She's...uh, she's really gen-gentle...and nice... Arsé-kun: Acu: ... Deja vu and her tendency to threaten amputation. Sheepy: Eiji:...Am....am...ampu- Um...? Arsé-kun: Nightengale: *from down the hall* Please remove your hands from the floor- It is not sanitary and they will be removed to maintain a quarantined environment. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, it's too late for you, it seems... Sheepy: Eiji: Huh....? Arsé-kun: Acu: I'd rather deal with the pink queen than this right now. Sheepy: Bedi: How unfortunate... Arsé-kun: Nighten: As for the rest of you, please enter the waiting room. If you are late, your turn may be skipped. Sheepy: Eiji: Th...thank you. Sheepy: Cascu: Does she even have a medical degree? Arsé-kun: Nighten: Of course. How else would I have become a nurse? Sheepy: Cascu: Threats? Sheepy: Cascu: Desperation? Arsé-kun: Nighten: I have been informed that in life, I was not as direct as I am now. While I cannot connect with that, I will accept it as truth. Sheepy: Cascu: But right now you're one scary lady. If you weren't in the position to amputate my limbs I'd find that hot but see, you have the right to amputate my limbs. Sheepy: Cascu:...I'd love to buy you coffee or something though. Arsé-kun: Nighten: Rejected and please leave. Sheepy: Cascu: Wh-what... Sheepy: Bedi: Don't worry, Caster Cu. I'm sure there's someone out there with no standards you'll fall for! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Ooooooohhh, Aniki's a loooooserrrr! Sheepy: Cascu: Why do you look like you think that will actually make me feel better?! Sheepy: Cascu: And you- I'm no loser! Arsé-kun: Merlin: :3c Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: *he turns around in Eiji's arms and slaps his ass before sticking his tongue out at CasCu. He is in the Safe Zone and cannot be touched.* Sheepy: Cascu: You lil punk! Face me one on one! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Nyyyeeehhhhh!!! *pbbbbbtttt!!!* Sheepy: Cascu: Oi, Master, hand me that toy! Sheepy: Eiji:...Um... Sheepy: Eiji: But... Arsé-kun: Nighten: If you are going to fight, I will have to ask you to leave the premises. Sheepy: Cascu: How about I give you a real patient, huh?! Arsé-kun: Nighten: ...? Sheepy: *Cascu grabs Mini Cu out of Eiji's hands and punts Mini Cu!* Sheepy: Eiji: D-don't do that! Arsé-kun: Nighten: I see. You are volunteering yourself to go first. Sheepy: Cascu: What? No. Arsé-kun: Nighten: Come along. *she grabs CasCu by the hood* We shall start with you. Sheepy: Cascu: Nonono! Sheepy: Cascu: Why don't you give me whatever treatment it is that makes Master completely unaware of your terrors, huh?! Arsé-kun: Nighten: So you will volunteer for chronic pain treatment testing? How kind of you. Sheepy: Cascu: Huh? Arsé-kun: *and Nightengale drags CasCu off to the waiting room. Rest in many pieces, Caster Cu, you might be missed.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: And that's that! Sheepy: Bedi: How unfortunate...poor Caster Cu... Sheepy: Eiji: Why do you fear Nightingale? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Because she threatens to remove limbs and will absolutely act on it. Sheepy: Eiji: ...She's never d-done that to...to me... Sheepy: Eiji:...al...although...sh-she did say one thing th...that con-concerned- concerned me... Sheepy: Eiji: B-but otherwise she's nice. Sheepy: Bedi: I think the best term is a "necessary evil". Sheepy: Eiji:...it's no different th-than a wis...wisdom tooth ex- ex- ...removal. Sheepy: Eiji: Th-they tell you s...scary things...but it's fair...fairly minor... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Master, with all respect, changing your spine and both sets of circuits is significantly more dangerous as well as stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: What are "wisdom teeth"? Sheepy: Eiji: Y...yes, that's what concerned me... Sheepy: Bedi: Are they teeth in your brain? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... No, Bedi. Sheepy: Bedi:....Are they teeth replacements that make you smarter? Like smart dentures. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The teeth in the way back of your mouth. Some people get them removed because their mouth can't actually fit them in. Human anatomy is strange and confusing, and very inconvenient. Sheepy: Bedi: Really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, really. Sheepy: Bedi: I didn't have any problem with that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Many do not! It's a very inconsistent trait. Sheepy: Bedi: How do you remove them? How are they smarter than other teeth? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Painfully, I hear, and no. Sheepy: Eiji: It's...uh...not fun... Sheepy: Eiji:....th-they kind of just- uh- it's not fun. Sheepy: Eiji: ....I'd never w-want to go...go through it again. Sheepy: Bedi: Why can't you just tell them not to come in? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why can't you just tell your arm to grow back? Same deal. Sheepy: Bedi: But my arm is just an arm, not a wisdom arm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's just a name, babe, it's not literal. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...I see... *he looks at the floor, visibly embarrassed* Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...if it helps any, there's some body parts y-you can rem...remove...but have them grow b-back... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And that sure isn't one of them! Sheepy: Eiji: L-like...tonsils...I-I know... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait, I'm getting a vision of what you should do! *he's being dramatic, he isn't actually.* You should ask Kay about it. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, alright. Sheepy: Bedi: I see...! Kay is a dentist! Sheepy: Bedi: He knows things about teeth! Sheepy: Bedi: My friend is incredibly smart...! Arsé-kun: Kay: No, fuck no, absolutely not! *he's holding Grif back from escaping the waiting room* That was a hell experience and by YOUR missing hand I would rather not! Sheepy: Bedi: Kay, what are wisdom teeth? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell teeth that bash the others out of the way and hurt more than this berserker punching your jaw. Sheepy: Grif: No, no, no! I don't want to go! *he hisses at Kay and tries to get out of his grip* I've been good! No!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: If we get it done today, we won't have to come back for another year! Sheepy: Grif: No! I missed an apple one day and now I have to see her?! Sheepy: Eiji:? Sheepy: Bedi: I see, they're like Sir Tristan... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sassy today, aren't we?? Sheepy: Bedi: There's no other way to mentally prepare myself for Nightingale trying to amputate my other arm Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's fair, I accept this. Sheepy: Bedi: But tomorrow I'll be back to normal...but would Santa hate me for this? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I doubt it. Sheepy: Grif: *he looks at Kay's arm* Sheepy: Bedi: I hope not. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you even think about amputating my arm I will shove it so far up your ass that my unattached fingers will clog your throat. Sheepy: Grif: *he slowly opens his mouth* Sheepy: Bedi: That sounds difficult. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't even think about it. Sheepy: *Grif attempts to bite Kay's arm!* Arsé-kun: *Grif succeeds. Kay curses and lets go of Grif* Sheepy: *Grif makes a mad dash towards the exit!* Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *Griflet escapes! For now.* Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Sheepy: Bedi:...I suppose that- um... Sheepy: Bedi:...we now know teeth worse than wisdom teeth? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm going to punch you in the throat Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize...it seemed too relevant... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... It's fine, that was actually kinda funny. *he's miffed, and sits down in a shitty plastic seat.* Sheepy: Bedi: I could try to bring him back. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't bother. He'll be back eventually. Sheepy: *Bedi joins Kay* Arsé-kun: *And Acu continues to be on the floor. He is DETERMINED to stay down there.* Sheepy: *Bayard is chewing on Acu's cape* Arsé-kun: *Acu ignores this* Sheepy: Bedi: How long have you been waiting for? Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh, like 15 minutes? Sheepy: Bedi: Alone, that isn't too bad... Sheepy: Bedi: But with Grif... Arsé-kun: Kay: It was a long 15 minutes. Sheepy: Bedi: I feel bad for you. Arsé-kun: Kay: I feel bad for me, too. Arsé-kun: *Our favorite roasted marshmallow man Dr. Romani steps into the waiting room to check who is next to be seen. Mini Cu is under his arm eating fruit gummies. I do not know how Mini Cu beat them there. By all accounts, it doesn't make any sense.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, doctor, it's good to see you again! Arsé-kun: Romani: Oh, hello, Sir Bedivere! *he puts Mini Cu down on the counter. Mini Cu grabs like three lollipops* I hope everyone hasn't been waiting too long? Sheepy: Bedi: We haven't. Arsé-kun: Kay: Me neither, but Grif escaped again. Sheepy: Bedi:...Although Kay now has teeth marks in his arm... Arsé-kun: Kay: And by his missing hand I'm going to throttle Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: Try me, I'll tear you to shreds! *he's...hiding behind the exit...* Arsé-kun: Romani: You can come inside, Berserker- You won't be seeing Nightengale today. Sheepy: Grif: That's not my name! *he huffs but does come inside* Arsé-kun: Romani: You and Kay will be seeing Chiron, is that okay with you? Sheepy: Grif: Fine! Arsé-kun: Romani: Great. The remaining Cu can be seen by Asclepius, leaving... *he glances down at Acu before looking towards Eiji* I'll be taking you in next, followed by Bedivere. Sheepy: Eiji: Th-that's fine... Sheepy: Bedi: What about Merlin? Arsé-kun: Romani: Who? *he's kidding, of course, but he's smiling a bit much as he makes notes on the sign-in sheet* He'll be seen too. Sheepy: *Grif rejoins Kay but looms by him ominously as he gets more and more frustrated as he can't figure out how to sit next to him* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, excellent! Sheepy: Grif: No! Bad! Terrible! Arsé-kun: Kay: No, you lost your sit-next-to-Kay rights when you put your mouth on my arm. You can stand and wait, you bully. Sheepy: Grif: No! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's quietly observing something, most likely elsewhere. Whatever it is, he approves* Sheepy: Grif: I don't care. You deserved it! Arsé-kun: Kay: So you'll deserve not getting any lolli's? Okay, that's fine. Sheepy: Grif: I'll make a better friend to sit with. Sheepy: Bedi: He's not even hiding you two being friends anymore... Sheepy: Grif: Here's a better friend. *he pats Bayard* Sheepy: Bayard: ...... Arsé-kun: *incredible speech, bayard, thank you for ur words of wisdom* Sheepy: Grif: See. He is nicer than you, Kay. You heard him. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's a low bar. Sheepy: Grif: He is a better friend. Sheepy: Bayard: *he sniffs at Grif before chewing on Acu's cape again* Sheepy: Grif: You should act nicer. Sheepy: Grif: If you do you'll be a better friend. Arsé-kun: Kay: You've replaced me with a horse. Sheepy: Grif: It wasn't difficult. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm almost offended. Sheepy: Grif: Good! Sheepy: Grif: You took away my rights to sit next to you so I'll take away your rights to be my friend. There! Arsé-kun: Kay: What a nightmare. Sheepy: *Grif huffs and crosses his arms, turning away from Kay. he occasionally glances back at Kay. Grif, you're terrible at this* Arsé-kun: *Kay can't see it, because of his eyepatch, but he's confident enough to know that Grif won't do anything stupid* Sheepy: Grif:.....*huff* Sheepy: Bedi: Grif, you can be my friend. Sheepy: Grif: What? You aren't my friend already? Terrible. I hate you. Sheepy: Bedi: Th-thanks. Arsé-kun: *Kay picks up a magazine, rolls it up, and lightly bonks Grif with it* Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Be nice. Sheepy: Grif: Fine! Sheepy: Grif: You drag me to the doctor's office and then you restrain me. Terrible. Now you're ordering me around. Arsé-kun: Kay: Someone has to. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because Kiddo's still in the back? Sheepy: Grif: I don't need to be ordered around. Sheepy: Grif: You're just ordering me around because you're bored. Arsé-kun: Kay: Dammit, it's like I'm transparent. Sheepy: Grif: No, you're Kay! Arsé-kun: Kay: Gee, thanks! Sheepy: Grif: Which stands for... Sheepy: Grif: Kevin! Sheepy: Bedi: I-it does?! Arsé-kun: Kay: grif wtf Arsé-kun: Romani: *he re-enters scene, and wisely decides to not interrupt this* Sheepy: Bedi: I didn't realize Kay was a nickname...for such a terrible...I mean...such a name. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's not. Sheepy: Bedi: What? Sheepy: Grif: Kay is not a name. Sheepy: Grif: Kay is a letter! Arsé-kun: Kay: Not this shit again! Arsé-kun: Romani: .... Eiji, I'll be taking you now. Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thank you... *he joins Romani with some difficulty* Arsé-kun: *there is now an open seat* Sheepy: Grif: *he looks to the open seat and huffs* Sheepy: Grif: *he lifts it up* Sheepy: Bedi: No, no, no, Grif, put that down! Sheepy: Grif: *glare* Sheepy: *Grif puts it on Bedi and sits on it!* Sheepy: Bedi: Grif!! Sheepy: Grif: *huff* Arsé-kun: Kay: why are you this way Sheepy: Grif: I need to rest up and instead you drag me here. And then you won't let me leave. But I'm better than to truly run away. Sheepy: Grif: Terrible. Now you've taken away my rights. Sheepy: Grif: But it is fine. I care not. Arsé-kun: *And where's Merlin, you might ask? He peered into the office hallway and was taken by a woman in red. What a tragedy.* Sheepy: Bedi: I have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen to Merlin. Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Bayard: ... Sheepy: Grif: Fine. I’m sorry. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Okay, but get off of Bedivere. Sheepy: *Grif gets off of Bedi* Arsé-kun: Kay: Now I forgive you. Sheepy: Grif: Good! Sheepy: Bedi: Why is this horse in the waiting room anyway? Sheepy: Grif: Where else should he wait for his doctor's appointment? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Horse for the horse doctor! Sheepy: Bedi:...But Chiron isn't really a horse, is he? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Horse for the horse butt man! Sheepy: Bedi: Being a centaur must be difficult... Sheepy: Bedi: You walk around without pants all the time because no pants fit you since you have four legs. Sheepy: Grif: Hah. Pants are a human construct. Sheepy: Grif:....However, pants are a human construct that they require. ... Perhaps they aren't that bad of an invention in the winter. ... Arsé-kun: Kay: griflet you are wearing pants under that armor i saw you not change out of your sweatpants Sheepy: Grif: What, do you think of me as some uncouth beast? Sheepy: Grif: Sir Lancelot wears pants. Why wouldn't I? Arsé-kun: Kay: If Sir Lancelot jumped off a bridge, would you?? Sheepy: Grif: ..... Sheepy: Grif:...Just because they haven't grown in yet doesn't mean I shouldn't practice... Arsé-kun: Kay: Break anything and you'll have to come back here. Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: Then they just have to grow in soon...! Maybe I'll ask that pink-haired girl. Sheepy: Bedi: Your adult teeth will help you survive jumping off a bridge? Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fresh hell are you on, chapter one while we're on book two chapter seven? Sheepy: Bedi: What else grows in? Sheepy: Bedi: Hair? Arsé-kun: Kay: This being Griflet? I don't know and it worries me. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: No! Sheepy: Grif: It's obvious, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Kay: It is, but I'm dreading it. Sheepy: Grif: I've been self conscious about it since forever...and yet. Sheepy: Grif: Nobody has noticed it? Sheepy: Bedi: What is "it"??? Arsé-kun: Kay: You have very rarely mentioned it and it'll probably be next ascension! Sheepy: Grif: Even that pink haired girl already has them... Sheepy: Grif: ..And her horns, too... They're still stumps...terrible. Awful. Arsé-kun: Kay: Won't those get in the way of doing your hair? Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif:...I suppose. Sheepy: Bedi: Uh, what're still stumps? Sheepy: Grif: I just told you. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a surprise that'll be seen later. Sheepy: Grif: ...Maybe it's my diet... Maybe I should add something I don't already have... Or perhaps I should ascend... Arsé-kun: Kay: At least let me ascend first! I haven't at all yet! Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: Bedi: Have you had no luck getting the items you need? You could ask Santa... Sheepy: Grif: No! I can't ask Santa! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sucks to be you, because I sure can! Sheepy: Grif: I'm reindeelf. I can't just ask for things. Sheepy: Bedi: But you should be paid, right? Paid for your services... Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: I've said that every year. He says "I'm paid in quest rewards". Sheepy: Grif: Exactly. I can't ask Santa to give me things. Sheepy: Grif: ...And anyway. Sheepy: Grif: She has a familiar presence... Sheepy: Grif: ...But I can't quite put my finger on it. Sheepy: Grif: But such a presence...all I can do is bow my head and follow her orders. That must be her Santa magic at work. Sheepy: Grif:...Although...if I'll be getting a break this Christmas, maybe I could ask... Arsé-kun: Kay: For the five billionth time, Santa is just the altered version of our king. Sheepy: Grif: No, Kay, that's not possible. Sheepy: Grif: Our king has blue eyes. Santa doesn't. Sheepy: Grif: Although I met a faker Bedivere the other day who couldn't even get his eye color right... Arsé-kun: Kay: Altered servants have gold eyes, you twat. Sheepy: Grif: It turns out that dismembered arms can be dismembered again... Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fuck did you do?! Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, I couldn't defeat the faker because he fled. Sheepy: Bedi: That, um, that wasn't a faker... Sheepy: Grif: Ah. He had some shadow arm instead of an actual arm but my sword worked just the same. That's what I did. Arsé-kun: Acu: Saying that wasn't a Bedivere is like saying I'm not Cu Chulainn. *he picks his head up to look at Grif* Stupid. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: There are multiple Bediveres? Sheepy: Grif: Is it a popular name? Arsé-kun: Acu: Two. He, and Alter. Now shut up. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Like Alter-nate universe, huh... Arsé-kun: Acu: No, and we won't speak of that. Sheepy: Grif: Like the king. Sheepy: Grif: Mysterious Heroine X.... Arsé-kun: Acu: what the fuck did i just say. Sheepy: Grif: I skipped your dialogue. Arsé-kun: *Grif gets smacked by Acu's tail. No impalement, thankfully.* Sheepy: Grif: Ugh! Arsé-kun: Acu: Skip that. Sheepy: Grif: *he hisses* I'll tear you to shreds! Sheepy: *Grif picks up his chair* Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Nooooo fighting! I'll kill you! *he throws his little spear at Grif. 0 damage* Sheepy: Grif: No! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Put up your dukes! *he gets into a fighting stance* I'll break your kneecaps! Sheepy: Grif: I don't care about you! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm gonna get you! *and he pauses to gauge the distance to the floor. It's far.* Stop being so far away, I'll punish you! Sheepy: Grif: You really are clumsy with your tail. If you keep it up you'll end up losing it. Arsé-kun: Acu: Not my fault you were standing there. Sheepy: *Grif huffs and throws the chair aside* Arsé-kun: Kay: *he sighs. look grif you've given him anxiety and the desire to drink* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu jumps off the counter and lands perfectly on one of Acu's tail spikes. He has ARRIVED.* Sheepy: Bedi: Mini Cu, did your appointment go well? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Yeah. There were some pointy things, but I got three lollipops for it! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, that's great! Sheepy: Grif: When are we going back? When? Arsé-kun: Kay: After we're all done. Sheepy: Grif: Ugh! Sheepy: Grif: I'm tired and upset. I want to go home. Sheepy: Grif: But I can't. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I know, but we also have to wait for Kiddo. Sheepy: Grif: He can walk home. I want to sleep. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then take a nap, I can't stop you! Sheepy: Grif:...?! Sheepy: Grif: I can...take a nap? Where? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Yes. Sheepy: *Grif lies down on the floor* Arsé-kun: *Berserkers just love heated floors. That's a known fact. Obviously.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin returns from the back offices, and seats himself on Bedi. He's got his robes under his arm and a new bruise on his cheek. The lesson of "Don't flirt with Nightengale" has not been learnt still.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Merlin, you're back! How did it-....how did you get that bruise? Sheepy: *Grif is already asleep...* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah..I know. You must have gottem your wisdom teeth removed. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I made a mistake. Sheepy: Bedi: A mistake? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gale still hates my guts. Sheepy: Bedi: Why? Sheepy: Bedi: How could anyone hate you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Very easily. He never shuts up. Sheepy: Bedi: I never really noticed... Sheepy: Bedi: Sometimes I have a nagging feeling that I'm being talked to... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But I don't mind. Sometimes I say things to say them. Sheepy: Bedi: Do you? I never really noticed... Sheepy: Bedi: Why does she hate you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm pretty sure I'm up to saying "And we should jump over a shark pit" at least six times in a discussion now. Also, unapologetic flirting. Sheepy: Bedi: Ahaha...I'm not intentionally ignoring you, my mind just wanders... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then keep it on a shorter leash! Sheepy: Bedi: How do I do that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Figurative, Bedi. Sheepy: Bedi:...Right... Arsé-kun: *Merlin briefly pauses and glances towards the floor. No fanfare or announcement? An actual vision. Mac loading cursor.* Sheepy: *Bedi follows his glance* Arsé-kun: *the floor is made out of floor* Sheepy: Bedi: ...? *he looks back to Merlin* Sheepy: Bedi: *he watches Merlin for a bit before...giving him a quick peck on the cheek. he seems a little proud of himself...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin doesn't react Immediately, as he's still in Vision Viewing Mode. Please hold.* Sheepy: Bedi:?? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... ...... ? *He blinks and tears his gaze away from the floor, registering the previous three minutes* Sheepy: Bedi: Did I interrupt? I apologize... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not at all.... I see, the tables have turned. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, the turntables! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, how they table. Arsé-kun: *Kay briefly wonders if he is having a stroke as the pair continue to butcher a simple saying* Sheepy: Grif: Kay, did you know? Arsé-kun: Kay: Know what? Sheepy: Grif: That humans taste emotions through their lips. Sheepy: Grif: I am very knowledgeable about humans. Arsé-kun: Kay: what the fresh hell are you talking about. Sheepy: Grif: They call it "Kis-sing"... And yet, they never sing. Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck were you married with a kid? How? Sheepy: Grif: Ah, my wife told me of this child summoning ritual. Sheepy: Grif: I succeeded in this child summoning ritual. Sheepy: Grif: Meanwhile... Arsé-kun: Kay: How long did it take? Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: Kay: How long did this take in total? Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Grif: Very long, but I did my best... Arsé-kun: Kay: *smugly* Nine months, aye? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: However, I accomplished it. I summoned a child. Arsé-kun: *In the background, Nightengale being held back by several others to stop her from giving The Talk right then and there. Dantes is there. He has a black eye.* Sheepy: Grif: Ah, as for how I got married, I was so lucky, yes, so lucky. I love my wife. She was so strong. Her knights tried to kill me in my sleep. So attractive. She yelled at me too for sleeping in her garden as her knights tried to restrain me... I suppose this is what those knight stories meant when they spoke of "love at first sight"...Hm? Sheepy: Grif: What is that? Sheepy: Grif: I know not of such words. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... ..... Arsé-kun: *Acu slowly gets up and goes to help Nightengale. oh no* Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I love my wife. She was really pretty. She loved birds, especially Elyan. Sheepy: Grif:.............. Sheepy: Grif:................... Sheepy: Grif: I miss my wife... Sheepy: Grif: I suppose that love at first sight is only special because it happens once... Arsé-kun: *Asclepius tries to bypass this entire thing to bring out Kidd. It is not ideal.* Sheepy: *Kidd looks tired and bored* Arsé-kun: *The chaos briefly stops to let the child pass* Sheepy: *Kidd joins Kay* Arsé-kun: Kay: How'd it go, kiddo? Sheepy: Kidd: It went fine. Have you been back yet? Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither of us have been. It might be a bit longer. Sheepy: Kidd: Oh, that's too bad... Arsé-kun: *Poor Asclepius gets dragged into the nonsense over there, so Romani breaks off of talking to Eiji to bring the next one in. Aka Grif.* Sheepy: Grif: I miss my wife........ Arsé-kun: Romani: That's understandable. Would you like to talk about it? Sheepy: Grif: I always want to talk about my wife. I love my wife. Arsé-kun: Romani: Then sure, I won't stop you. Lets get your height and weight checked. Sheepy: Grif: What? Maybe I've grown. Arsé-kun: Romani: We won't know until we check! Sheepy: Grif: Maybe if I'm still growing I can finally get my wings in... Sheepy: Grif:...Then I can't be judged anymore... Arsé-kun: *Kay gives Grif a little shoulder push. Gooo!* Sheepy: Grif:?........... *he follows Dr. Roman* Arsé-kun: *the chaos soon breaks up, partially because Grif aka the prime target is gone, and partially bc Nightengale gave Dantes another injury. poor guy* Sheepy: Bedi: Why are they fighting? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Beats me, I wasn't looking. Arsé-kun: Romani: Eiji, you don't mind me speaking to you while I check someone else's statistics, right? *he then realizes he said statistics. oops!* Sheepy: Eiji: N-no, that's fine. Arsé-kun: Romani: All right. Griflet, please stand against the wall so I can measure. Sheepy: Grif: *he does so* Sheepy: Grif: My height stat is high. Arsé-kun: Romani: *he measures and takes note* No change there, but uh. Sure! Sheepy: Grif: Kay's is stronger. So strong. Arsé-kun: Romani: No doubt. All right, scale next. Sheepy: Grif: *he gets on the scale* Arsé-kun: Romani: And Eiji, I'm not quite sure where to go from here. We're still working on perfecting the programs needed to make such a large change. The most I can do for you right now is make small suggestions. Sheepy: Grif: My muscle stat is high. Arsé-kun: Romani: Not moving can result in muscle atrophy, so at least some exercise is recommended- Yes, thank you. Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...that's a good idea. Arsé-kun: Romani: Thank you, Griflet, you can get off. Sheepy: Grif: I'm sure your INT stat is higher than mine...you can be my mage next time, Dr. Roman. Sheepy: *Grif gets off* Arsé-kun: Romani: Wh-what? Sheepy: Grif: INT stat. Arsé-kun: Romani: N-no, the part after that! *he has become Flustered* Sheepy: Grif: ? You can be my mage next time, Dr. Roman... Sheepy: Grif:...Ah, Lucan's INT stat is very high...perhaps he chose the wrong class...Maybe I'll make him my mage... Sheepy: Grif: But you would work too. Arsé-kun: Romani: O-oh, you mean for a party! N-no, I'm no good for combat! Sheepy: Grif: What else would I mean? Arsé-kun: Romani: Well, uh, I mean... You kind of left that ambiguous! Sheepy: Grif:?..... I didn't leave anything... Arsé-kun: Romani: ... You weren't clear in your meaning. Arsé-kun: Romani: But okay! Griflet, please go down the hall and wait in the first open room on the left. *he gestures ahead* Chiron will be with you shortly. Arsé-kun: *and he turns back to Eiji* Arsé-kun: Romani: I CAN order a cane for you to use, though, if that will help you. Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thank you.... Sheepy: Grif: Mr. Horse? ...Mr. Sheepy: Grif: Horse, I get to see Mr. Horse? ... *he rushes over to where he was told to wait* Sheepy: Eiji: It, uh, it would. Arsé-kun: Romani: Then I'll put the order in as soon as I can! Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, thank you. Sheepy: Eiji: I really, uh- I really appreciate it. Arsé-kun: Romani: *he appreciates being appreciated! especially to his face, it usually is not* Sheepy: Eiji: I...uh- I h-had a question. ...N-not about me, but, um... Arsé-kun: Romani: ... Huh? Uh, sure, go ahead. Sheepy: Eiji: How much, uh, damage can a p-piece of the grail cause...cause someone if it's inside th-their body? Arsé-kun: *Romani blinks and takes a moment to process this question* Arsé-kun: Romani: That... What? To a Servant, none, but do you mean that or to an actual person? Sheepy: Eiji: Uh... Sheepy: Eiji: Um... he's - uh... Sheepy: Eiji: A person- a child. Arsé-kun: Romani: ... ... Ah. This isn't great hallway chatter, but I'll try to be blunt-- It varies from person to person. *he frowns* It would probably be best to have him checked on. Has he had a physical at all? Sheepy: Eiji: I d-don't think so. Sheepy: Eiji: He doesn't...uh...go out much...so... Arsé-kun: Romani: That's not good to hear. I'd really suggest bringing him in. Bring his servants, too, most of them don't have much on file here. Sheepy: Eiji: I'll try. Sheepy: Eiji: It's just, uh... Sheepy: Eiji: He dislikes me. Arsé-kun: Romani: Hmmm. That does make things difficult! I'll tell you what, I'll send in a heavyweight to take care of it. Sheepy: Eiji: H-heavy...heavyweight? Arsé-kun: Romani: How do I say... Someone who can absolutely manage it. Arsé-kun: *Romani is, in fact, bluffing. Getting help, in this economy??* Sheepy: Eiji: I can, uh...I can tell you wh-what he likes, that might help. Sheepy: Eiji:...first of all, not me... Sheepy: Eiji: Uh...evil Servants. Arsé-kun: *Romani glances off to the side. Dantes flips him off* Sheepy: Eiji: H-he mentioned, um... Sheepy: Eiji: Liking a "Mr. Cu-Cuddle-Cuddledud" recently... who...who else... Sheepy: Eiji:...."Hobo Dad"? Sheepy: Eiji:...I don't, uh, I don't know who they are....Sorry. Sheepy: Eiji: He just tells me th-things occasion...occasionally. Arsé-kun: *Dantes goes to exit scene, very hastily. This being Dantes, that would be a tremendously high speed, except a door was closed as he went to leave. Eat shit mr cuddledud* Arsé-kun: Romani: That would be Mr. Cuddledud. *he has to keep himself from laughing, or Dantes will blow up the hallway* Sheepy: Eiji: ...? Sheepy: Eiji:...H-he looks...less cuddly than I was imagining... Arsé-kun: Dantes: I'm not! I am the spirit of vengeance, the original Avenger, and this is how I'm referred to?! Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'm sorry...! Arsé-kun: Dantes: Do not apologize. You are not the one who created that insult. Sheepy: Eiji: If it helps any, ummm... Sheepy: Eiji: He has worse names for other people. Sheepy: Eiji: Like "Hobo Dad".... Arsé-kun: Merlin: He means Lancer Vlad. *hello, Merlin, you are not supposed to be here* Sheepy: Eiji: But he has a home... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But Berserker Vlad is "Dad", so Lancer is "Scruffy Dad". Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, I see. Arsé-kun: Romani: I- Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shhhhhush, I'll email you the next season in advance. Arsé-kun: *Romani shuts up* Sheepy: Eiji: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Personal dealings. Anyway, I very personally think the good doctor should suggest it himself- Satoru liked you, Doc. Arsé-kun: Romani: ! Sheepy: Eiji: Is th-that who "Dr. Marshmallow" is...??? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Corrrrect! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...he was talking about wanting to come back to, uh, see you. Arsé-kun: Romani: Oh, that certainly makes things far easier, then! Sheepy: Eiji:...but wh-when I said that I'd bring him, he just went quiet... Sheepy: Eiji:...S-so maybe you'd be, um, be better off asking... Arsé-kun: Romani: Ah, well, he has a comm. I can send a fast message when I have the time. Sheepy: Eiji: R-right. Sheepy: Eiji: Good idea. Sheepy: Eiji: Thanks. Sheepy: Eiji: Um....I uh...I actually also, um.... Sheepy: Eiji: wanted...t-to take a miss...mission. Arsé-kun: Romani: That would be sufficient exercise, but will your circuits hold up? Sheepy: Eiji: I don't know. Arsé-kun: Romani: ... Oh, well! You have Merlin, it'll probably be fine. Sheepy: Eiji: Right. Sheepy: Eiji:...Is it okay? Arsé-kun: Romani: It is. I will allow it, but if you begin getting tired, try to stop. Sheepy: Eiji: I will. Arsé-kun: Romani: All right, good luck. You can go once your servants are done being checked on. Sheepy: Eiji: *he nods* Thank you. Arsé-kun: Romani: You're welcome. Do you need assistance getting back to the waiting room? Sheepy: Eiji: Um...I th-think I'm fine. Arsé-kun: Romani: All right! Sheepy: *Eiji heads back to the waiting room* Arsé-kun: *Romani calls for Bedi next* Sheepy: *Bedi joins Dr. Roman* Sheepy: Bedi: Good to see you again. Sheepy: Bedi: How have you been doing? Arsé-kun: Romani: I've been okay! It's been a bit of a holiday rush, so we're all preparing for the inevitable event... Sheepy: Bedi: Inevitable...event? Arsé-kun: Romani: Something has happened every single year on Christmas. We've gotten used to it. *he shrugs* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...I suppose I should know that. ...I apologize. I am a newly summoned Servant, so my knowledge on Chaldea is limited. Arsé-kun: Romani: ....? No? You were summoned quite a few years ago? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... that doesn't seem right... Arsé-kun: Romani: ... Were you recently resummoned? That would cause a breach in memory. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Romani: Ouch. I won't ask why, but we'll deal with that after I do your physical. Sheepy: Bedi: It's not very interesting. I had a hole put in my chest by an old man I helped... Sheepy: Bedi:...So I grasp from the situation. Arsé-kun: Romani: That's unfortunate, I'm sorry. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose I should be more careful about old men suddenly murdering me without any reason in the future. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you'll fix it? Thank you. Arsé-kun: Romani: We'll certainly try. I'm informed it is a thing that can be done. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe it would improve my memory in general. Sheepy: Bedi:...I hope. Arsé-kun: Romani: Maybe! It's been used a few times, but I've never witnessed it. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm willing to try it. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, right, the physical... Arsé-kun: *so they go do that. bedi's reflexes are functional, too, but he sure doesn't feel the vibe check reflex hammer* Sheepy: Bedi:....I have a feeling that I will never get used to that... suddenly, my knee has a mind of its own...I assume I should feel that hammer hitting my knee but I don't. Arsé-kun: Romani: You should. I'm not sure if it's your own nerves having issues, or if it's connected to Eiji's having issues... Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Sheepy: Bedi: I wasn't able to feel physical pain before I finally passed. I hadn't been able to for a few decades. It could be that. Sheepy: Bedi: A Servant is summoned in their prime, and I assume my prime was when I was finally capable of taking on my fears. Sheepy: Bedi:...That's right, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Romani: Normally, yes, but it tends to mix time periods when need be. Sheepy: Bedi: So it could be completely unrelated to me but rather be Master Eiji's nerves... I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Although... Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose I should keep that to myself, considering how Tristan was trying to figure out how numb to pain I truly was...I would not want him doing the same to Master Eiji... Arsé-kun: Romani: As a doctor, I wouldn't abuse that knowledge. ... Though now I am curious as to how? Sheepy: Bedi: It mostly consisted of stepping on strange things he found around the house. Like let-goes and bio-narcles. Sheepy: Bedi: Apparently, they are incredibly painful to step on. I did not feel anything... Arsé-kun: *Romani visibly flinches. Ouch!!* Sheepy: Bedi:...But Satoru seemed to want them back to keep building bio-narcle takeover of his let-go city. Arsé-kun: Romani: I can see why.. Sheepy: Bedi: He didn't seem pleased by what Sir Tristan was using them for. Actually, Sir Tristan later found them in his shoes a bit too late... Arsé-kun: Romani: Goodbye, Sir Tristan, may he rested in pieces. Sheepy: Bedi:...Based on his reaction, I suppose they're fairly effective...Oh, I apologize, I'm rambling. Arsé-kun: Romani: No, no, I don't mind at all! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, I'm glad. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, right. What can I do about nightmares that wake me up at night? Arsé-kun: Romani: I'd have to send you to the therapist for that, officially, but do forward any answers you get. Sheepy: Bedi: ?...Alright. Sheepy: Bedi: I will. Arsé-kun: Romani: Thank you. Okay, lets finish up here and then see how "It" goes. Arsé-kun: *aaand we move back to the waiting room for the time being* Sheepy: Kidd: ...So you're here to fight a dragon? I can think of one, but... Sheepy: Georgios: I can sense a new, unfamiliar dragon! ...Ah, but perhaps I should have brought my friend Siegfried... Arsé-kun: Kay: I can confirm the dragon part, but I'd like to leave with him alive. Sheepy: Georgios: However. I must fight any dragon. Sheepy: Kidd: Uh, why? Sheepy: Georgios: Because they are sinful beasts. Sheepy: Kidd: ...Yeah, I suppose that's an accurate descriptor... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Choose carefully, Saint. This is not the time nor place for combat. Arsé-kun: *mini cu is trying to chew on st. georgios' boot. it is completely ineffective.* Sheepy: Georgios: I suppose so. Sheepy: Georgios: Right now, this is a place for people to await judgement. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, for the Hell Nurse. "Angel", hah. Sheepy: Georgios: How fearful......... Sheepy: Georgios: The true dragon...is her. Sheepy: Georgios: ...I should not badmouth anyone behind their back. It's sinful. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then allow me! What a stubborn, non-listening, aggressive, overreacting, Sheepy: Georgios: Oh, dear- what language... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, you know what they say about gingers. Soulless! *he completely ignores that one of his sleeves was nearly lit on fire* Sheepy: Kidd: I've never heard that before. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Huh. It used to be said twenty years ago, so I guess that's fair. Sheepy: Kidd: I wasn't alive twenty years ago. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's why it's fair. Sheepy: Georgios: Soulless? But everyone has a soul... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Joke, noun. Sheepy: Georgios: ...Except dragons. Sheepy: Kidd: Dragons are just lizards but magical. Sheepy: Kidd: Do you hate lizards? Sheepy: Georgios: They do not choose to do evil. They simply do. But dragons are intelligent enough to do good and often decide to do evil instead. Sheepy: Georgios: Unfortunately, this usually ends up with a princess or two being eaten... Sheepy: Kidd: But knights don't eat princesses so he's fine. Arsé-kun: *Merlin just smirks. Merlin. Merlin no.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Perhaps not like *that* they don't. *he wiggles his eyebrows and keeps smirking* Sheepy: Georgios:...! Sheepy: Georgios: I see now! Thou art a dragon, a sinful beast! Sheepy: *Georgios lifts up his sword.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll take that as a stroooong compliment! *he stands up and holds up his staff* Let us take this outside, dear Saint! Sheepy: *Georgios goes outside.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin, still grinning like the bastard he is, gives Eiji a thumbs up and heads out. He is raring to go! Finally, some goddamn combat in this shithole!* Sheepy: Eiji: Uh...um...but...he has the type...type ad-advantage.... oh no.... Sheepy: Kidd: I somehow doubt that that dragon-obsessed man is truly that powerful.. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm sorta glad Grif missed this. Sheepy: Kidd: I'd have to stop him from "tearing that man to shreds". Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, we sure would! Sheepy: Eiji: Th-there will come a ti...time you'll give up...uh...um...con-con-controlling that one servant. Sheepy: Eiji:...for me it's Merlin... Sheepy: Eiji:...that's what Bed-Bedi is there for... Arsé-kun: Kay: And were I not down here at level 40, I'd pummel him completely for free. But here we are. Sheepy: Eiji: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Merlin would push me over and I'd probably get ko'd. Sheepy: Eiji: Yes, h-he's level 90. Arsé-kun: Kay: Disgusting. He'd kill me without even trying. Sheepy: Eiji: Bedi is level 70...y-you might have.....have a chance with him... Arsé-kun: Kay: I haven't been ascended once yet. The sentiment I appreciate, but nah, I'd get fucked. Sheepy: Eiji: What? Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: Really. Rare material hellzone. Sheepy: Kidd: Grif looked for it the other day.... Arsé-kun: Kay: No luck, yeah? Sheepy: Kidd:...But he came back with strange things instead. Arsé-kun: Kay: This surprises you, Kiddo? Sheepy: Eiji: What...what do you need? Arsé-kun: Kay: Rare divine wine, or whatever. Sheepy: Kidd: Not snake eyes after how many Grif brought home. Sheepy: Eiji: Oh...I have...have it, but, um, none of my Ssser...servants use it... Sheepy: Eiji:..I didn't r-really get its purpose because, uh...I didn't intend on get-getting any Servants past Merlin. Sheepy: Eiji: Uh, it's not really old, I had summoned Bedi by then. He didn't want it... Sheepy: Eiji:....so I still have it.... Arsé-kun: *Kay looks like a child on Christmas morning that just ran down the stairs and found a Nintendo 64 under the tree, (*0*)* Sheepy: Eiji: D-did you want it? I don't have a purpose for it. Sheepy: Eiji:...I have two. Arsé-kun: Kay: I certainly do! Please! *he falls forward off his chair and onto his knees* It's early Christmas!! Sheepy: *Eiji pulls them out of his Inventory and gives them to Kay* Arsé-kun: *Kay gleefully accepts the materials! He takes a few steps back, as to not blind anyone, and then ascends right there, right now.* Sheepy: Kidd:?! Your ascension is becoming the sun itself?! Sheepy: Eiji: Servants do that wh-when they ascend... Arsé-kun: *Once that light dies down, Kay has... Not changed much. His armor has, yes- It looks more like ARMOR now- and his eyepatch has gotten more elaborate. But it's only first asc., nothing wild yet!* Sheepy: Kidd: I dislike it. Sheepy: Eiji: So cruel... Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh-what?? I finally get real armor and you hurt me like this?? Sheepy: Kidd: You've had the same look for years and now it's different. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's not like I can't just wear that!! Sheepy: Kidd: It's so mildly different that it's like an itch you just can't scratch, unlike Grif who completely changed...What? You can do that? Go ahead. Arsé-kun: *Kay takes off his chestplate. His normal shirt is under it.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Shocker, ain't it? Sheepy: Kidd: I just assumed that knights wore nothing under their armor. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... .... *he busts out laughing* Arsé-kun: *Acu finally drags himself back into the waiting room. He, impressively, is more tired now than he was going in.* Sheepy: Eiji: H-how are you feel...feeling? Arsé-kun: Acu: ..... *he grunts and collapses onto two chairs. Tired.* ...'mind me to kill the nurse later. Arsé-kun: *Acu grumbles under his breath and takes his second nap today. It isn't even noon yet.* Sheepy: Kidd: Actually, you look familiar... Sheepy: Eiji:...? Sheepy: Kidd: *squint* ...........No, unless you just aged forty years I've never met you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't mind if I steal that line to insult someone! *he plops down next to Kidd* Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'm not that old...! I-I'm actually fair...fairly young...ish...! I'm just pre...prematurely gray... Sheepy: Kidd: Doesn't he seem familiar? Sheepy: Kidd: Have you been twelve before? Sheepy: Eiji: I was at one time in my life...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Kiddo, what kind of goddamn question was that? Sheepy: Kidd: You never know after knowing Grif. Arsé-kun: Kay: Y'know what, fine. But of course he looks familiar, he's Satoru's pop. You never asked! Sheepy: Kidd: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't make shit up! Sheepy: Kidd: I doubt that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Kiddo, I would personally fight you if that was remotely fair. Sheepy: Kidd: I'd lose because you're older than me. Arsé-kun: Kay: You'd lose because you're a half-pint. Sheepy: Kidd: What's the difference? Arsé-kun: Kay: You can be a very old midget. Sheepy: Kidd: But I'm not green nor do I speak with poor grammar... Arsé-kun: Kay: What's stopping you!? Sheepy: Kidd: The fact that I'm not green, nor do I want to be. Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunnnooo, you've seemed pretty green before...! *he's teasing* Sheepy: Kidd: Well, I didn't want to be! Arsé-kun: Kay: Nobody asked yoda if he wanted to be green either! Sheepy: Kidd: Yoda wasn't born green? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell if I know. Sheepy: Kidd: I always imagined him being a turtle without his shell. Sheepy: Kidd:...With ears. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm disgusted, I'm revolted, Sheepy: Eiji:?..... Sheepy: Kidd: But would you really be stronger than Yoda? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd punt the old coot like a football. Sheepy: Grif: Good! Arsé-kun: Kay: Griflet, Griflet, look! *he puts his chestplate back on and holds his arms out* It's finally happened!! Sheepy: Grif: I knew you seemed different. Good. Excellent! Now I don't have to worry constantly about you. Sheepy: Grif:......... Arsé-kun: Kay: ........... Sheepy: Grif:.........Uh. Good! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Er. Isn't it?! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You worried about me? *he puts his arms down* Sheepy: Grif: Uh, all the time. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ah. Uh. Erm. *for once, Kay does not have a comeback* Sheepy: Grif: Is that not normal? Arsé-kun: Kay: It is! It's just, uh. Do you think ascension materials can get you drunk? *he is deflecting the subject entirely. He is also completely sober* Sheepy: Grif: No. I am too powerful to fall under the effects of alcohol. Arsé-kun: Kay: I gave you one glass of wine and you were shitfaced. Sheepy: Grif: I try my hardest. Arsé-kun: Kay: I know, and I appreciate it. Sheepy: Grif: Uh.... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Hm. Sheepy: Grif:....Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: Like you said, all the time. Sheepy: Grif:....Good! No one does usually. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, now lets resume being at each others throats with vigor! ... Figuratively, this got weird. Sheepy: Grif: Fine! Arsé-kun: *Luckily for them, only like three people heard that entire exchange* Sheepy: *Kidd is visibly confused...* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Yeah, me too, Kiddo! I don't know where half of that came from! What the fuck, is that normal?? Sheepy: Kidd: I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Grif: Humans don’t protect each other? Terrible. Awful. Arsé-kun: Kay: That wasn't what I was referring to.. Sheepy: Grif: What, then? Sheepy: Grif: You confuse me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can confirm it as normal! *he re-enters scene, having clearly been beat up. He's still got a few scales here and there.* Servants tend to get emotional upon ascension. It's free food for me, and it helps make you feel better! Sheepy: Grif: ....! Sheepy: Grif: Oh... Sheepy: Grif:...Even Merlin got them in before me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: What's up, you meme-loving fucks? I just got pummeled by a Saint- No, no, I did this intentionally. Sheepy: Grif: Uh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: But yours are coming, I will confirm that for you! Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: I see...no longer will I not fit in... Sheepy: Grif: Now both humans and dragons have to accept me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And if they don't, rip them to shreds! Sheepy: Grif: Yeah! Yeah!!!!!! Arsé-kun: *Merlin sits down and starts working on cleaning himself up and clearing up the remaining dragon traits. He got hit with Ascalon a LOT.* Sheepy: Eiji: Was...was it worth it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: For me, yes! ... *a look of worry crosses his face* I didn't drain from you too much, did I? Sheepy: Eiji: No. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's good. I only went because I was sure I could avoid doing that! Sheepy: Eiji: You were right. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fantastic!~ Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, Merlin! *he arrives! he can barely contain his excitement!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: -Ah! *he drops his staff and looks up. He had JUST been about to start weaving magic.* Yes, yes, how did it go? Sheepy: Bedi: My memory has greatly improved. I have remembered things I had previously forgotten...such as! Arsé-kun: *Merlin has a sudden feeling of "I'm about to be publicly embarrassed"* Sheepy: Bedi: The time you tried kickflipping and fell on your face instead. Ah, and the time Sir Tristan tried making a snow angel and got stuck in the snow. ...Oh, or how Fou looked before....or when Gawain smashed broccoli and tried to say that was cooking. Sheepy: Bedi: The time you tried kickflipping and fell on your face instead. Ah, and the time Sir Tristan tried making a snow angel and got stuck in the snow. ...Oh, or how Fou looked before....or when Gawain smashed broccoli and tried to say that was cooking. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've learned since then..!! *he is lying. this is obvious.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also, what was that third one? Sheepy: Bedi: Is...is this a test question? Sheepy: Bedi:...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I want to clarify. Sheepy: *Bedi is visibly struggling* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Take your time. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... ... how Fou looked before? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You got it! So is he still cute? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grea---- whhhhh Sheepy: Bedi: He's so cute... Sheepy: Kidd: What is a Fou? Arsé-kun: *Both Merlin and Kay are staring at Bedi. They seem to disagree* Sheepy: Grif: Someone I will tear to shreds for you. Sheepy: Kidd: Uh? Sheepy: Grif: Foe...enemy. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fouuuuu?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. F-o-e. Foe. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Fou! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ew, disgusting, it's the monstrosity itself. Sheepy: Eiji: ....? Sheepy: Eiji: Is Fou bad...other- other than tor...tor...bullying M-Merlin? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou? *he tilts his head (cute) and is visibly confused (Cute). Look how tiny he is! (Cute!!)* Sheepy: Bedi: Aren't you so cute, Fou? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fouuu! *he hops onto Bedi's shoulder and nuzzles his face. babey* Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes. That "thing" is the Cath Palug. Sheepy: Bedi: *he gently pets Fou. he's beaming!* Arsé-kun: *Fou is BABEY* Sheepy: Eiji: I assumed Fou was a weird fox thing... Arsé-kun: Kay: Like this, sure. But when he hogs an entire river himself and eats passerby, I don't wanna hear it. Sheepy: Eiji: ...but S-Satoru likes him...maybe I should be care...careful.... Sheepy: Eiji:.....He won't eat children, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: You never know with this beast. Arsé-kun: *Fou looks Offended* Sheepy: Bedi: He's so sweet...and cute. Arsé-kun: *Fou is no longer offended.* Sheepy: Grif: I see, so Fou is like Dad. Sheepy: Grif: He takes over a river and eats passerbys as a hobby. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Exactly. Sheepy: Grif: Fou...must be fought and defeated. Arsé-kun: Kay: I knew you'd understand! Sheepy: Grif: I fought Dad for the same thing. Sheepy: Grif: How kind of him to return me to my home before going back to terrorizing the countryside. Sheepy: Grif:...Although, the water didn't seem quite right that day. How mysterious... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Unsolved mystery. You'll find out one day. Sheepy: Kidd: Maybe it was a dream. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: I had a dream once. Sheepy: Grif: I ate an apple. Sheepy: Grif: It was a good dream. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .. Master, are we still waiting on Caster Cu? Sheepy: Eiji: Ah.... Sheepy: Eiji: Uh...I th-think he re...returned to ssspirit form. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... ... *he looks towards the floor* .... Ah... I see. You're right. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then that's all situations tied up, and we're free to move on. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin? *squint* ...Oh, I know. You did something with your hair. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That too! *he sighs, shakes his head, and finally gets to fix himself up* Sheepy: Bedi: You look better now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thank you. I was fighting a Saint to pass the time. Sheepy: Grif: You should go for the Elyan look. Sheepy: Grif: On the outside, he is armor. Sheepy: Grif: On the inside, he is also armor. That is all. Sheepy: Grif: It's a good look for knights. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why, so I can look like the Headless Rider in the saber class? Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Sheepy: Grif: I forgot about him. Sheepy: Bedi: You weren't hurt, were you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now please stop mashing the A button at me, before I start giving you npc dialogue-- Hm? No, of course not. Sheepy: Grif:...But... Sheepy: Grif: ....I want your BOND POINTS. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now is not the time nor place for that! Sheepy: Grif: How unfortunate...I must have used up my BOND EVENT on Kay... Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: what is this man saying? ??? Sheepy: Kidd: We just don't know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And now, baring that! We are free to leave! Sheepy: Grif: Please tell me when I can get BOND POINTS from you. Sheepy: Grif: I want to improve my bonds. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure, I'll text you when the next BOND EVENT is on. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: I will bring gifts for extra BOND POINTS. Arsé-kun: *Merlin liked that!* Sheepy: Bedi: Where are we going now? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Training grounds! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, okay. Sheepy: Eiji: ? Sheepy: Eiji: I-is that my mission...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe! Check the Master Missions board and decide for yourself, Boss! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...okay. Sheepy: Bedi: Why the Training Grounds? To stretch our lim... ... ... Legs? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It would be a good start, yes. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. Arsé-kun: Acu: Are we finally moving? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Acu: Finally. Sheepy: Bedi: I am glad you are happy about it. Arsé-kun: *bippity boppity move on finally* Sheepy: Ozy: Hah! Why would you tear me away from my great works simply to make me wipe away your 10 AP nobodies? Sheepy: Eiji:...you were first on my support for riders. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's quick, it's easy, and it's free! Mats for your new master, as well! Sheepy: Ozy: Hmhm... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And it's better than pouring river water into your socks! Sheepy: Ozy:...Hm? Foolishness. This is no Master and Servant relationship. Sheepy: Ozy: I am the king and she is my...Hm. Well... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Your what? Please go on, Pharaoh! Sheepy: Ozy: I cannot say servant...because she listens not to what I say. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe the word you are looking for is "friend". Sheepy: Ozy: Hah! Traitor knight, you have no need to finish my sentences. Sheepy: Ozy: You should value the time you spend wondering what glorious thing will come out of my mouth next. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe I should, because it's better than hearing it. Arsé-kun: *Merlin snorts oh-so eloquently* Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahahaha! Yes, you understand! Truly, the hype will always be greater than the end product! Sheepy: Eiji: Can...um... Sheepy: Ozy: Yes, yes, come out with it, what do you request of the great King of Kings? Sheepy: Eiji: C-can you go home? You're too loud. Sheepy: Ozy: Hah! What a joker you are! Arsé-kun: *Merlin has to stifle a second, louder snort. What an elegant Caster he is* Sheepy: Ozy: Now then. Show me these 10-piece mcnobodies! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wave three, coming right up! Sheepy: Ozy: *he summons sun lasers to attack the enemies!* Arsé-kun: *the simulation gilles lasts exactly 10 seconds. nobody wanted to see you anyway. disgusting* Sheepy: *nobody can see after that anyway. jk jk* Sheepy: Eiji: Um...um...I'd ...uh...r-rather different support... Arsé-kun: Merlin: On it, Master! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he turns to Ozy* If you want a challenge, Cu Alter has gone ahead to the 30 ap grounds. Why not join him? Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahaha! Good idea. I am off! I believe in all of you to accomplish great things in the stead of the Sun King! Arsé-kun: Merlin: They will be, I can assure! Sheepy: *Ozy proudly walks off, smugly laughing* Arsé-kun: Merlin: The situation is solved, Master. Shall we check the support listings for friends again, or would you like to go further? Sheepy: Eiji: Uh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he strolls over and gently takes Eiji's wrist to poke his comm.- A slightly dusty old watch- and bring up the display* You know! Sheepy: Eiji: Wh-what do you me...mean, go further? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, see if anyone nearby is offering support. *He scrolls the displayed list down with his staff* Oh, right, that was update 15.06. We were active back on... 14.02? Sheepy: Eiji: Let's try that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Let's see! We've got... ... Ah. The support is full of newbies who can't place correct ces for their lives. It is one of THOSE days, or an event is coming soon. Arsé-kun: Merlin: There's also a support listing with only a single Avenger listed. Surprisingly, it is not Satoru. Sheepy: Eiji:...? Who...who is it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That would be the Avenger of Monte Cristo. Sheepy: Eiji: He seems strong. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He is, but if you sent away the Pharaoh for being loud... Sheepy: Eiji:...that's true. Arsé-kun: *Distant laughter as some low-level spellbooks get bombed. Servants are loud.* Sheepy: Eiji: oh... Sheepy: Eiji:...B...but I did e-embarrass him earlier... uh....maybe this...this would make it up to him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's plausible! Sheepy: Eiji: We should choose him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Any input, Bedi? Sheepy: Bedi: He seems reliable. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thank you, Bedi. Sheepy: Bedi: Was that a good or bad answer? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A good answer! Sheepy: Bedi: I see. I was concerned that was sarcasm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: This time it was not, but the concern is warranted! *because he's an asshole* Okay, lets summon our support! Sheepy: Bedi: I will be ready to silence him if necessary. Sheepy: Eiji: dont do that Arsé-kun: *Dantes is literally right there. He's right behind them. And please do not do that, Bedivere, it is not fun to be silenced. Okay, anyway, composure, composure... Laugh (quietly).* Sheepy: *Bedi, understandably, panics upon hearing a laugh behind him and swings his right arm [Airgetlam] at Dantes. Eiji jumps because of Bedi's reaction* Arsé-kun: *Dantes ducks, successfully evading the oncoming threat. His hat gets le epic owned. Bedi has slapped a hat. It floats to the ground, as hats do.* Arsé-kun: Dantes: I certainly deserved that. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...I apologize. Sheepy: Eiji: Oh...we were...were j-just about to...uh...um... Sheepy: Eiji:....you know, sum...summon you. Arsé-kun: Dantes: So I have heard. Find relief in the fact that I will temporarily aid you! Sheepy: Eiji: um...um... Sheepy: Eiji:....to be honest, I-I actually- Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you for your assistance. Sheepy: Bedi: Master Eiji thanks you as well. Sheepy: Eiji: We were...um...g-going to uh... Sheepy: Eiji: fight...things. Sheepy: Eiji:...I'm s-sorry, I haven't uh...been active with Cha...Chaldea for a while. ...so I'm rusty. Sheepy: Eiji:....sorry. Arsé-kun: Dantes: *he's scrutinizing Eiji. He has a powerful resting bitch face.* ... Yes, I believe I remember you. It has been quite a long time since... *he trails off and glares at Merlin. Merlin grins* ... Since the mage would regularly brag. Sheepy: Eiji:...I...um... Sheepy: Eiji:.....got, uh... Sheepy: Eiji: attac- ....uh, a son...and old. Sheepy: Bedi: I now fight in his stead. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Did you believe that knowledge had not spread upon it happening? *he looks over Bedi* A fine choice. Sheepy: Eiji: Uh...Y-you know? Sheepy: Eiji: Oh.... Arsé-kun: Dantes: *He promptly does not answer this question* Were you to desire vengeance, I would not mind giving assistance. Sheepy: Eiji: Um...I....uh... Sheepy: Eiji:...H-he was my friend at one point...so... Sheepy: Eiji: I can't hurt...hurt him. Arsé-kun: Dantes: *internally* (pathetic. understandable, but pathetic.) Arsé-kun: Dantes: Understandable, if this changes, let me know. Sheepy: Eiji:...it might. Sheepy: Eiji: B-but only in self...self defense. Sheepy: Eiji: Um...have y-you been doing well in that time? Arsé-kun: Dantes: *oh god. normal small talk. oh god. dont be an edgelord dont be an edgelord d* If that is what one calls it. *goddammit* Sheepy: Eiji: oh...okay. Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu has been sllllllowly dragging a dead lamia in their direction for the entirety of this scene. He is very small and it is big. He will get there one day. We believe in you* Sheepy: *I believe in you mini cu* Sheepy: Eiji: But...um, I wanted to train. ...I h-hope I can be of help...I hope. .... Arsé-kun: Dantes: You sound awfully unconfident for a seasoned Master. Sheepy: Eiji:...sorry. Sheepy: Eiji: M-my circuits were badly damaged. Arsé-kun: Dantes: So what? That will not stop you from crushing your enemies when necessary! *quiet 'kuahaha!'. Not as fitting as he'd hoped it'd be.* Sheepy: Eiji: How? How can I now? Tell me. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Continue out of spite! Destroy those who say you are unable! Cripple those who try to stop you with claw and fang, make them regret ever toying with you! Sheepy: Eiji: I r-really don't get what you want me to do... Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... ... I said get revenge on those who wronged you, obliterate them. Sheepy: Eiji: I can't. Arsé-kun: Dantes: You can support the Magus of Flowers without breaking a sweat, and have brought the so-called "Most Average Knight" to top form. There is no rule stating you must act on your own. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... ... So kill them. Sheepy: Eiji: *he's starting to sound annoyed...* S-some mornings the pain is so bad I can't get up, I even con...contemplate if I want to. My body's a mess, no matter how hard I try my circuits barely work if they even do at all...I try! *his voice has turned to anger...* Nobody gets that! They just laugh it off and suggest the impossible! Arsé-kun: Dantes: You misunderstand. *he's been trying to stay EDGY CHUN, but he drops it for a moment.* You may physically be unable to act- I can very personally relate to the feeling- But you are not at all alone. Do you not have others to support you? Sheepy: Eiji: I do. Arsé-kun: Dantes: And they are supported by you in return. You are not useless, no matter how your mortal coil may fare. Arsé-kun: *Merlin takes a few steps back, nudges Bedi, and gestures down to the grass around their feet that isn't taken over by his flowers. He's smiling. Look.* Sheepy: Bedi: *he looks down. oh! the grass has grown!!* Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu has made Progress™ and even he has noticed the suddenly-overgrown grass. He wonders how to navigate it when he gets that far* Sheepy: *I believe in you mini cu* Arsé-kun: *me too* Sheepy: Eiji: What, with mor...moral s-support? Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... Even that is something. But I see you are still capable of magecraft, and I will respectfully step down. *he gestures down to the grass and takes a step back* Sheepy: Eiji:...? Sheepy: Eiji: *he looks down* ...I...I didn't try to do that...it w-wasn't intentional. Arsé-kun: Dantes: It does not matter. You were still capable. Sheepy: Eiji: I don't know how I did... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Reporting heightened aggression! Possibly linked to activation of weaker circuits, I will report again once I am certain! Sheepy: Eiji: I'm sorry, I d-didn't try to get angry... Arsé-kun: *Dantes looks Smug. bastard.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: All right, that's enough of this. Our team consists of a fantastic Master, the best knight, the most helpful Avenger, *dantes looks salty*, and an immoral fuck gremlin that could proooobably be the antichrist if I really gave it my all! Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thank you. Sheepy: Bedi: B...best? *he appears flustered...* Arsé-kun: Dantes: *Call him helpful again and he'll be helpful in wringing an incubi's neck* Arsé-kun: Merlin: And I cannot skip the upcoming, the loved! The smallest Cu you've ever goddamn seen! *he gestures to Mini Cu, who is treating the heightened grass like a legitimate obstacle. Help him, Merlin will not* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...he's cute...! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Don't just stare at me, I'll bite your ankles to shreds!! Sheepy: Bedi:...Did I feed Squash today? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You did. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, good. Sheepy: Bedi:...Then what am I forgetting? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I will remove your legs and sell them for the highest bidder, Sheepy: Bedi: I need those. Sheepy: Bedi:...Oh, did I feed Carrot? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Good. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Take this overgrown alligator bag of stuff before I stab you through the heart!! Sheepy: *Eiji helps Mini Cu with some difficulty* Arsé-kun: *at some point along the journey, Mini Cu reduced his delivery size by half, now only holding the lower half, the snake half, the important part, the... part full of loot like an illegal purse in a casino* Sheepy: Eiji: ...uh. Sheepy: Eiji: ......... Sheepy: Eiji: ...thanks? Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, this must be what Alter Cu collected. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you, Mini Cu. The meat was not edible anyway. Sheepy: Eiji: ...meat? Sheepy: Bedi: Of the Lamia. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: *he makes a face, reaches into his mouth, and pulls out a few stands of hair* It wasn't? Then why was it made of meat? Sheepy: Bedi: Some meat can't be eaten by humans. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Like ornaments! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Exactly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Please don't eat ornaments. *he picks up Mini Cu by the scruff* Shall we head off? Sheepy: Eiji: I'd like that... Arsé-kun: *They get to training! ... Ozy is STILL audible off in the distance. No one is surprised by this.* Sheepy: *Eiji at least tries to work hard at moral support.* Arsé-kun: *He's doing a great job and we all believe in him!* Sheepy: *yes!* Arsé-kun: *He might not be able to actively use Magecraft, but he's still supporting his Servants just fine! Merlin hasn't needed to step in at all!* Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...you're v-very strong. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... Thank you for noticing! *he pauses* Of course, it is not a surprise considering that I am the top Avenger! *laughter break* The most well-known, and certainly the most effective! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah.... Sheepy: Eiji: I um...know other Av...Avengers. Sheepy: Eiji: One is um... Sheepy: Eiji:...a dog? Arsé-kun: Dantes: Shinjuku Avenger. The hatred of humanity is present, but not throughout the unit. Sheepy: Eiji: And th-the other is a mostly...mostly naked man wearing a b-bathrobe. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... ... So you've met the... Original Avenger. He who all Avengers should look up to, and yet. Sheepy: Eiji: He's um...my s-son's Servant. Sheepy: Eiji: He was forced to summon that Avenger. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... Ah. Sheepy: Eiji: I don't know h-how to feel about Avengers because...uh, um- I w-watched Shin...Shinjuku Avenger get s-scared by, um... Sheepy: Eiji:...a vacuum cleaner. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Kuahaha! How pathetic! What an Avenger they are! Sheepy: Eiji:...They? Sheepy: Eiji: Th-there's the dog... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just Lobo, not the entire unit! Though I will say, I once witnessed Satoru try to vacuum up Rider because he saw it in a video game. Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, poor Rider. Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu is riding on and pulling on a wild spellbook like a bull. fantastic stuff but not the focus* Sheepy: *thank you mini cu* Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets momentarily distracted by lamia titties while Bedi is punching books. Dantes solves this by launching past Merlin and 1shotting the snake woman. why does she even have tits, shes a LIZARD, LIZARDS DONT NEED* Sheepy: Bedi: *he looks over. that distracted him* Arsé-kun: *the book heals itself for like 2k hp and disengages. this affects nothing, it is still a book* Sheepy: Bedi:...*he blankly looks at the book. sir do you mind* Arsé-kun: *it minds very much living is nice* Sheepy: Bedi:...*he crosses his arms*... I need to know. Sheepy: Bedi: What do you say inside of you? Arsé-kun: *the book has an existential crisis and flips open. it's a spell book, i dont know what was expected. doujins?* Sheepy: Bedi: You have spells inside of you... Sheepy: Bedi: I always wanted to try magic but I am not very good at it, considering that I am inexperienced... Sheepy: Bedi: How did you learn magic? By watching it? Arsé-kun: *Bedi continues giving a book a Crisis™. Merlin is viewing the book with some small binoculars and scribbling down the contents. free magic* Sheepy: *Eiji wonders if he should stop Bedi.* Arsé-kun: *Dantes stops because it is the last enemy, and Bedi is Negotiating. Why is beyond him.* Sheepy: Bedi: Do you want to be friends? We do not have to fight. Arsé-kun: *The book is unsure of it's purpose if not for fighting everything in sight and providing magic. At least it does not explode. Do not ask why it would. It is a spellbook, it is a simple being. It do the magic* Sheepy: Bedi: You can find new things that might make you happy if you see more of the world. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not to stop you, but that is a book. It has less sentience than Lumi. Sheepy: Bedi: Really? It seems to understand somewhat. It seems nice. Sheepy: Bedi: We should bring it along so nobody kills it. At least give it a chance. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I am not stopping you, but that is the last enemy. Please make a decision soon. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize. Sheepy: Bedi: *he gently takes the book* Arsé-kun: *The book does not understand this gesture. Bedi takes some damage.* Sheepy: Bedi: Ugh! Sheepy: Bedi: Nono, I'm not trying to hurt you. If you stay here someone will. Arsé-kun: *The book doesn't do anything. It takes time to recharge* Sheepy: Bedi: You're safe with me. *he puts his hands out* Arsé-kun: *Bedi befriends a book while, elsewhere, Acu does no such thing. He is loaded with pages holy shit* Sheepy: *acu the book murderer...* Sheepy: Bedi: I am ready now. Sheepy: Eiji: Good. Arsé-kun: *They move on and resume farming. Gain an entire book as loot. Good luck sneaking THAT past security* Sheepy: *I believe in them* Arsé-kun: *The farmi-I mean, the training goes on to the 30 ap node, then the 40. I don't know what AP is in this case. Probably a limiter so Masters dont burn out. whatever. ozy laughter increases in volume. plz. why* Sheepy: *no ozy no* Sheepy: *Eiji seems to start wearing out by the end of the 40 AP.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he hesitates* Master, do you want to get some blows in yourself before we call it a day? Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'd like that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is settled! *he turns around, and pompously trots to Eiji's side* All present, behold your Master! *he taps Eiji with his wand knife. his knife wand. his knife knife. Hero creation EX, set! Dreamlike Charisma, set!* Go get 'em, Master! Sheepy: *Eiji goes and punches the Naga!* Arsé-kun: *The naga promptly explodes- with no fanfare or warning- Into flowers. The most violent magician's trick. The naga is also in several pieces and very dead. It Was Amazing, and Merlin is cheering* Sheepy: Eiji:?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You did it, Master!! You've still got it! *he's replaced his staff with two pompoms. merlin plz* You one shot that scaley bitch! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...I did...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You! Are! So strong! Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thank you...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he throws the pom poms, they explode like little fireworks* I can't wait to break down the command room door and brag again! Bedi, did you see that?! Did you?? *he's very happy about this development* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, I did! How wonderful! Arsé-kun: *Dantes continues to Smug. he was right. he can now legally say "I told you so"* Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: *he dives into the flowers and throws some into the air* These were someone's organs! Sheepy: Eiji: Um... Sheepy: Eiji:...really? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I don't know!! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah... Sheepy: Eiji: I think I-I'm done for to...today. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, of course. Would you prefer assistance? Sheepy: Eiji: N-no, I think I'm...I'm fine. Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thank you for your help. Sheepy: Eiji: Um...Count. Arsé-kun: Dantes: You need to thank me? How much did I do, truly? Sheepy: Eiji: Well, um, you showed...showed up. Sheepy: Eiji: And the things you said, um... Sheepy: Eiji: They're helpful. Arsé-kun: *Dantes just tilts his head back, like he's going to laugh, but does not. Smug intensifies* Sheepy: *Eiji hesitantly also looks up...* Arsé-kun: *Nothing unusual here, folks!* Sheepy: Eiji: ...Um? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's radiating smug bastard energy! I should know, I'm a smug bastard! Sheepy: Eiji: O-oh... I know, the bird must've al-already left, huh? Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu gets unceremoniously tossed up into the air. Now that's a bird™* Sheepy: Eiji: ?! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm a bird! Sheepy: Eiji: Wh-what!? Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu, as all things do, comes back down and lands on his butt.* Sheepy: *Eiji goes and scoops him up* Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu Likes This* Sheepy: Eiji: Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm okay! Sheepy: Eiji: Good, good.. Arsé-kun: *Acu, despite his bulk and large tail, has been hidden and watching all of this for a while. He's... Actually kind of impressed, not that he'll ever admit it* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...Count. So let's say he wants to get vengeance. How would he contact you? Arsé-kun: Dantes: Just make the wizard do it. Sheepy: Bedi: Why? Arsé-kun: Dantes: No sense going on a goose chase when he already knows how. Sheepy: Bedi: You're right here. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... What are you getting at? Sheepy: Bedi: I can ask you rather than asking him. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... That is not how I meant it. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize. I do not understand the purpose of asking him. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I was referring to how he is able to locate one faster than others. If I am not physically present, he is fastest. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...I see. Sheepy: Bedi: But... Sheepy: Bedi: Don't you think some way to contact you would be helpful? Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... If you just want a phone number, just say so. Sheepy: Bedi: Can I really just ask for someone's phone number, Merlin? Just like that? Isn't that how you make people hate you? Sheepy: Bedi:.....?! Sheepy: Bedi: The Count has a phone...? Arsé-kun: Dantes: I did not say "My" number. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...I see! You'll be giving us a fake phone number to reject us without saying so! Sheepy: Bedi: I hear from Yan Qing that he has this problem regularly. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah? Wait, the Count...doesn't have a phone? I see.. This confirms my suspicions. Arsé-kun: *Dantes decides to stop correcting him. It's more amusing this way* Sheepy: Bedi: The Count...is a vampire, like on Sesame Street. Sheepy: Bedi: Of course he would know many phone numbers. The Count likes to count. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I am going to take revenge on you for the innocent brain cells you've slaughtered to make that sentence. Sheepy: Bedi: Hm? Sheepy: Bedi: How do we call you then, now that I think of it? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah. I know. Master Eiji does not have an Avenger yet. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... .... Pardon? Sheepy: Bedi: Master Eiji does not have an Avenger yet. Arsé-kun: *Dantes does not have an answer to this* Sheepy: Bedi: And if Master Eiji chooses not to get revenge, well... Sheepy: Bedi: There is someone who lives with us who reminds me of you. Sheepy: Bedi: Actually, he has the same sort of smell (feel) as Merlin. Sheepy: Eiji: S-so he used Fe...Febreeze on himself? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I only did that once! Sheepy: Bedi: But he has the same dodgy attitude that you do. Arsé-kun: Dantes: .... ..... *he appears thoughtful* Arsé-kun: Dantes: You refer to the detective, yes? He is even shadier than I am at times. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Interesting. Sheepy: Bedi: Occasionally another Avenger visits too. Sheepy: Bedi: A premature gray man! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...th-that's me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Master, you're not an Avenger! Sheepy: Eiji: Oh? Oh..n-no, I thought...nevermind. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And you might be a bit gray, but I'm stark white! Sheepy: Eiji:...B-but...how do I...how do I put this... Sheepy: Eiji: you...aged r-really well. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I got that from my dad! Sheepy: Eiji: Yes... Sheepy: Bedi: I might not look it but physically I am in my thirties or forties. *pride* Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm baby! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Arsé-kun: *Acu goes to get out of hiding, and promptly gets his foot caught in some weeds. Goodbye, Alter Cu, have a nice fall. Don't forget to be loud on landing* Sheepy: Bedi:?! *he draws his sword and turns to Acu* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...you scared me. Arsé-kun: Acu: Just you? Disappointing. Sheepy: Eiji: *he goes to help Acu up* Sheepy: Eiji: Are you alright? Arsé-kun: Acu: Unfortunately, I'll live through it. *he isn't happy about it, but he accepts the help up* The pharaoh already left. Had he still been here, I'd have strangled him. Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...thank you. ... I mean... Sheepy: Eiji:....um... Sheepy: Eiji: H-he's...my wife's Servant...so, uh...be gentle... Arsé-kun: Acu: Absolutely not. Sheepy: Eiji: Please? Arsé-kun: Acu: I'll think about it. Sheepy: Eiji: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Dantes, meanwhile, is still considering Bedi's offer. He's looking to Eiji for confirmation, but playing it off all cool.* Sheepy: Bedi: So? What do you think? Arsé-kun: Dantes: I think a decision such as this is best made by the Master in question. Sheepy: Eiji: Ah?...um, If y-you'd like to join...um...I'd like, like to have you. Sheepy: Eiji:...B-but you (hopefully) have a life here. Sheepy: Eiji: So I won't make you. Arsé-kun: *Acu is glaring at Dantes. Mini Cu is far less intimidating. Caster isn't even here.* Sheepy: Eiji: So...? Arsé-kun: Dantes: In all honesty? Most of those I associated with have already left. There isn't much here for me. Sheepy: Eiji: I see... Sheepy: Eiji: So you can join us. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I suppose I could. Just don't drag me into anything too absurd. Sheepy: Eiji: D-don't worry, I won't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No guarantees here though! Sheepy: Bedi: So you're only particular about where you're dragged? Not how? So even by the collar? Arsé-kun: Dantes: That is not nearly the worst way to be dragged. Sheepy: Bedi: That is true. Sheepy: Eiji: B-but just a warning...um... Sheepy: Eiji: My, uh, s-son- he, uh, is very quick to try, try to be...befriend Servants. P-please don't mind him. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... The bad nicknames child? I suppose I will survive. Sheepy: Eiji: Yes. Sheepy: Eiji: It's normal. H-he does it to everyone....except me.... Arsé-kun: *skiiiip bc im bad at writing in-betweens* Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. You’re back. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We are! Have I ever told you Eiji can punch out a naga?? He can! *BRAGGING* Sheepy: Satoru: That’s great. Sheepy: Satoru: ...... Sheepy: Satoru: I don’t know what that is. Sheepy: Satoru: But I’m sure it’s great, so I will clap. *clap. clap. clap.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here, I'll show you! *and he turns himself into a naga, just for a moment. It's an illusion but shush* Sheepy: Satoru: Aaaaaa. A snake. Scary. Arsé-kun: Acu: Not really. *and he just dumps the naga remain on the entrance mat . It's someone else's problem now* Sheepy: Satoru: ..... Sheepy: Satoru: *he begins to approach it* Sheepy: Eiji: nononono Sheepy: Satoru: *he’s gonna touch it* Arsé-kun: *background medusa looking moderately offended by this display* Sheepy: *Bedi enters and looks down just as he trips and falls over the dead Naga* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you okay?? Sheepy: Satoru: Welcome home. We added new furniture. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... I’m fine, I didn’t feel it. Sheepy: Satoru: We got a new lamp. Sheepy: Satoru: Don’t mind it. It’s shy. Sheepy: Satoru: We also got a new welcome mat. Sheepy: Satoru: Don’t mind it. It’s friendly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No one wants this here. *he prods it towards the door with his staff* It was filthy. Sheepy: Satoru: Filthy? Sheepy: Satoru: All the more reason to touch it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just not the inside. It had organs at one point. Sheepy: Satoru: You had organs at one point too. Are you filthy? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I wasn't torn in half! Sheepy: Satoru: Really... Sheepy: Satoru: *he goes to touch it. Bedi scoops him up. no* Arsé-kun: *Dantes finally moves into the light, just to take the snake by the tail and throw it outside. Disgusting.* Sheepy: Satoru: Our lamp moved. Sheepy: Eiji: S-Satoru, that’s, um... Sheepy: Satoru: You seem familiar. Have I seen you around the house? Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... Once. You referred to me with an insulting name. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sorry. Sheepy: Satoru: It’s nice to meet you again, Mr. Uninsulting name. Arsé-kun: Dantes: *why* Sheepy: Satoru: That’s too long. Sheepy: Satoru: I’ll call you... Sheepy: Eiji: by his name? Sheepy: Satoru: He has one of those? Sheepy: Satoru: What’s your name? Arsé-kun: Dantes: The Count of Monte Cristo. Sheepy: Satoru: .... Sheepy: Satoru: *stare* Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Monty. Sheepy: Eiji: Y-you can call him Count... Sheepy: Satoru: ... Sheepy: Satoru: Why? Sheepy: Satoru: Are his counting skills so great that he must brag of them? Sheepy: Satoru: He’d like Grandpa. Sheepy: Satoru: You were an early consideration of mine because poisoning Masanori seemed like a potential solution. Sheepy: Satoru: ...But I went with Dad because his methods seemed more...unlikely to fail. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Can you say that in baby words? Sheepy: Satoru: Why? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm baby. Sheepy: Satoru: Vampires solve problems fast. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Oh okay! Arsé-kun: Dantes: *that was incredibly ominous and he approves entirely* Sheepy: Eiji: P-please don't poi...poison people you don't like. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Reserve that for those who truly deserve it. Sheepy: Bedi: The only time it's socially acceptable is when you accidentally undercook your turkey for Christmas dinner. Arsé-kun: Merlin: dont remind me Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize. Somehow I did not become sick from it. Sheepy: Bedi:...I find it funny in retrospect because of that. Sheepy: Satoru: Who truly deserves it? Arsé-kun: Dantes: Those who completely and intentionally ruin the lives of others. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Let's poison Masanori. Sheepy: Eiji: S-Satoru, no! Sheepy: Satoru: You won't let me touch dead bodies or make people I dislike disappear. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh? You can make people disappear? How talented! Just like a magician! Sheepy: Satoru: *he gently pats Bedi's face* Alakazam. Now you've disappeared. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah! Incredible! Sheepy: Satoru: Where did you go? I can't see you anymore. Sheepy: Bedi: Wow, incredible! Sheepy: Satoru: Lobo is magical too. He can make your food disappear the second your back turns. Sheepy: Satoru: Can you do anything like that, Count? Arsé-kun: Dantes: Perhaps! Sheepy: Satoru: So vague. I don't know your capabilities so your possibilities are truly endless. Sheepy: Satoru: My name is Satoru. Sheepy: Satoru: This is Uncle Bedi. He's a knight of the round table. Arsé-kun: Dantes: So I have heard. Sheepy: Satoru: Sometimes when I can't sleep I come downstairs and find him weeping as quietly as he can. So don't come downstairs at night. Sheepy: Bedi: Thanks, Satoru. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: You'll bother him. Crying is a natural process, I hear. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can confirm this. Sheepy: Satoru: It's supposed to make you feel better. Sheepy: Satoru: I wouldn't know. I've never cried. Sheepy: Satoru: By the way, don't leave the trash out. Sheepy: Satoru: I adopted what I thought to be a raccoon but was actually a grungy man with a violence streak eating out of our trash. Sheepy: Satoru: That's all you need to know to live here. Sheepy: Satoru: If you really want to deal with trash without worrying about Lobo you can feed it to our table. Sheepy: Bedi: I think that's enough introduction for now, Satoru... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, about that. Why do you have a mimic to begin with? Sheepy: Satoru: What? A mimic? Sheepy: Satoru: What's a mimic? Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, I guess I should answee your question. Sheepy: Satoru: Our table knocked on the door and I invited it in. Sheepy: Satoru: I told it that we needed a table because our last one broke thanks to Kintoki. Sheepy: Satoru: Now it lives here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's fair enough. *it's not, and he's visibly surprised* Sheepy: Satoru: Kintoki worries it'll eat us without a tablecloth but it actually prefers leftovers. Sheepy: Satoru: It doesn't talk very much. But that's okay. I understand without it needing to speak. A contract between a table and a human transcends language. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Very interesting. Thank you for sharing. Sheepy: Satoru: You're welcome. Sheepy: Satoru: So what's a mimic? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Exactly what it sounds like. A creature that mimics everyday objects. Sheepy: Satoru: He was imitating a lamp. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he just sighs and lets it go* Sheepy: *Lobo is watching Dantes* Arsé-kun: *Dantes is wary- What is the wolf king going to do?* Sheepy: Lobo: *he comes over and sniffs at Dantes* Arsé-kun: Dantes: .... *he stays still and lets this happen* Sheepy: *Lobo decides that Dantes is acceptable and sits down* Arsé-kun: Dantes: *he's still wary. He can't just get vengeance on a wolf if it does anything- That classifies as Animal Abuse, according to the good doctor* Sheepy: Satoru: That's Lobo. Sheepy: Satoru: He eats people sometimes. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I see... Sheepy: Satoru: He's an Avenger so he hates many people. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Then we shall get along swimmingly. Sheepy: Satoru: That's nice. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Now, then. Where is the Detective? I have... Statements, to deliver. Sheepy: Satoru: Holmes? Sheepy: Satoru: Probably with Grandpa if he isn't alone. Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Holmes smells like a pipe usually so if you have a super strong sense of smell you can find him. Sheepy: Bedi:...Or ask Lobo. Arsé-kun: Dantes: *he looks up to Lobo* Wolf King, will you be of assistance? Sheepy: Lobo: *he turns, sniffs around, and then starts slowly walking away. upon entering the doorway he stops to look at Dantes. seems like that's a yes* Arsé-kun: Dantes: Fantastic. Let us go, fellow Avenger! Sheepy: *Lobo leads Dantes to Holmes* Arsé-kun: *Dantes pets Lobo. Thank You Wolf King* Sheepy: *Lobo is pleased!* Arsé-kun: *Dantes strolls in, with full intentions to do a Frighten* Sheepy: Holmes: *he doesn't turn to face Dantes* Ah, my friend. Come in. One moment. *he puts some documents away and faces Dantes* Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... You bastard. I'll get you one of these days. *he doesn't really look frustrated, though* Sheepy: Holmes: I'd like to see that. Arsé-kun: Dantes: As would I, but it hasn't seemed to happen yet. Sheepy: Holmes: It's good to see you again. Sheepy: *Lobo is glaring at Holmes from the doorway* Arsé-kun: *One of Holmes' magnifiers waves to Lobo* Sheepy: Holmes: How are you? Arsé-kun: Dantes: Wiped, but otherwise surviving. Sheepy: Holmes: Understandable. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Spent the day in Caster farming, and had to deal with Her. Kicked my ass. Sheepy: Holmes: What brings you here? Arsé-kun: Dantes: How about you tell me? Sheepy: Holmes: Trying to get away from her? Arsé-kun: Dantes: That's a given, but there is more to it. Sheepy: Holmes: Hm... Sheepy: Holmes: Unfortunately, I've been holed up in my room all day so the goings-on outside of my room are hazy at best. Sheepy: Holmes:...But I assume you made a contract with someone within the household. Specifically Eiji. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Why him, may I ask? Sheepy: Holmes: Minako would have probably barged in and told me. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... My not knowing who that is confirms it. Sheepy: Holmes: Satoru seems to have lost interest in summoning new family members. Sheepy: Holmes: Sakura has no interest in summoning Servants, it seems. So that leaves Eiji. Arsé-kun: Dantes: And you would be correct. Sheepy: Holmes: Well! Isn't that great! Arsé-kun: Dantes: Horrible, I know. You'll have to deal with me in the morning. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I WILL laugh in your room if you don't get up. Sheepy: Holmes: Terrible. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Thank you for noticing. Sheepy: Holmes: I work late into the night and this is the thanks I get? Arsé-kun: Dantes: If it keeps me awake, I WILL retaliate. Sheepy: Holmes: Unless we're roommates it shouldn't. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I wouldn't want to step on evidence and get hell for it. Sheepy: Holmes: Hmm...well, the offer still stands if you don't find a room you want. Arsé-kun: Dantes: How oddly kind of you, Detective. Sheepy: Holmes: You'll be safe of Lobo trying to sleep near you in here. Everywhere else, however ... Sheepy: *Lobo is still glaring from the doorway* Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... He did lead me to you, so I cannot condemn him entirely. Sheepy: Holmes: He can go through walls and become invisible. Arsé-kun: Dantes: That's much more concerning. And where is the rest of him? Sheepy: Holmes: I haven't a clue. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Horrible. I shall have to guard my neck. Sheepy: Holmes: Hopefully not. They're fairly relaxed here. But this room is one he won't enter so it's guaranteed restful. Sheepy: Lobo: *glaaaaaare....* Arsé-kun: Dantes: I certainly wonder why. Sheepy: Holmes: He hates me. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I see this. You are human, after all. Or there is more, of course, but that is not my business. Sheepy: Holmes: Hm. I don't know what it is. I don't understand animals very well. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Fine. But expect me to have figured it out by the new year. Sheepy: Holmes: I won't be surprised! Sheepy: Holmes: Good luck. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Thank you. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, right. A few people cook. Sheepy: Holmes: Stay nice to them. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... I will remember that. Sheepy: Holmes: It’s important. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Well, do me a favor and- *he takes off and flings his cape at Holmes, before setting his hat down*- Wake me up when dinner is being served. Fail to and I'll dump you into a well. Arsé-kun: *And, because he is still totally wiped, Dantes decides to inflict an unusual punishment- He's going to sleep on your goddamn bed and you cannot stop him.* Arsé-kun: *ok its not really a punishment bc holmes didnt do anything wrong but* Arsé-kun: *listen shut up* Sheepy: *Holmes doesn't use his bed very often anyway!* Arsé-kun: *Unfortunately, it does not last as long as Dantes had hoped. He gets woken up by a various cacophony of Berserker screams, Avenger shouts, Lobo howling and snarling, and Merlin yelling. He is... Disoriented, to say the least.* Arsé-kun: Mozart: ---To get Lobo's bear traps off. We warned them about this! Sheepy: Lobo: *whiiiine, snarl* Sheepy: Holmes: They could not have put him to sleep or something...? Arsé-kun: Mozart: That's what Vlad said, but nope! Arsé-kun: *Dantes is staying very still. Whether it's because he's being "stealthy", unable to do anything, or just not ready to move yet is unknown. I say this because I haven't decided either* Sheepy: Holmes: He probably wouldn't accept any shots or anything like it, however, so that wouldn't work. Sheepy: Holmes: Maybe command seal use. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Can wolves drink alcohol? Sheepy: Holmes: I don't know. Sheepy: Holmes: Maybe? Sheepy: Holmes: But a command spell is guarantee to work maybe... Sheepy: Holmes:...maybe. Arsé-kun: Mozart: And that requires Satoru to use one actively. Sheepy: Holmes: Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: *If Dantes moves slowly enough, no one will noticeeeee* Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, you're up. Arsé-kun: Dantes: *SHOOT* ... Unfortunately, yes.... What on Earth is happening down there? A murder? Sheepy: Holmes: Lobo is upset. Sorry that he woke you. Sheepy: Holmes: They're trying to remove his bear traps. Sheepy: Holmes: Animals don't always understand that so he only recognizes that they're presently hurting him, not that it'll help him later. Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... That makes sense... They cannot muzzle the beast? Sheepy: Holmes: I don't think they've thought of it. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Damn them.. Sheepy: Holmes: Perhaps they could? Arsé-kun: Mozart: Far too late now! They'd be a pile of shit and death by the time Lobo's done with them! Sheepy: Holmes: Too bad. Arsé-kun: *it's just a lot of screaming downstairs. not a big shocker* Sheepy: Holmes: Should we do something? Arsé-kun: Mozart: I would like to, but the noise is too much! Sheepy: Holmes: Hmmm... Sheepy: Holmes: I'm mor of an armchair detective. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Then hit them with the armchair? Sheepy: Holmes:...And anyway I'm weak to Avengers. Arsé-kun: Dantes: .... Sucks to suck, doesn't it? Sheepy: Holmes: Hmhm... Sheepy: Holmes: How unfortunate. It seems you have to do my dirty work for me. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Oh, bugger. Sheepy: Holmes: Good luck. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Just wait and hope I come back alive. Sheepy: Holmes: I will. Arsé-kun: *And so, Dantes very unenthusiastically goes to see what the hell is all that mess. He doesn't want to, but his friend asked, and now he has to!* Sheepy: *Lobo is throwing a fit and snapping at anyone who comes close to him!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin, having gotten bloodied, has wisely stepped out of this and Lancelot, being the dumb twink himbo-adjacent that he is, did not and is questionably dead on the floor. Angra is also questionably dead with an empty peanut butter jar.* Arsé-kun: Dantes: .... *he observes. His go-to strat is not to brazenly intervene, but at this rate he might have to.* Sheepy: Lobo: *whine* Arsé-kun: *Dantes breaks into a laugh to introduce his presence. Kuhahaha, the edgiest is here!* Arsé-kun: Dantes: Shinjuku Avenger, I was under the impression you were better than this. Is the sin of Wrath what you yourself embody? Or are you just afraid? Sheepy: Lobo: *he glares and backs up a bit, trembling while trying to make himself look bigger than he actually is* Arsé-kun: Dantes: You shake as if you have done something wrong to me. You are an Avenger, and they are only humanoids who ignored your warning! You did as your nature dictates! Sheepy: Lobo:.....! Sheepy: Lobo:....... Arsé-kun: Dantes: ......... Sheepy: Lobo: *he stops shaking but remains in a defensive position* Sheepy: *Lobo hesitantly sits down, eyeing Dantes carefully* Arsé-kun: *Dantes pulls up a chair, completely ignoring Merlin- Hitting the wizard with the chair on the way- and seating himself. See? Nothing.* Sheepy: Lobo:...... Sheepy: Satoru: I understand why he's upset. Arsé-kun: Dantes: It's quite obvious. His will and personal space were both violated, despite the warning. Sheepy: Satoru: His mistakes became his identity. Trying to strip him of that is wrong. Arsé-kun: Dantes: And his retaliation was as swift and brutal as it needed to be. Sheepy: Satoru: Because until he makes a new identity for himself, what is he?...And also it's probably painful to have those pulled on. Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Dantes: It certainly is, I can assure you from first-hand experience. Having his fur caught in such a way would only enhance the pain. Sheepy: Satoru: One time I got my finger caught in the fridge door. I imagine it being like that but pointy and constant. Arsé-kun: Dantes: That certainly is a way to put it. Sheepy: Satoru: I didn't cry. Arsé-kun: Dantes: You are certainly brave for a boy so young. You have the bravery of a man many times your age, and I applaud that. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm twelve. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm older than the average child. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The average child is nine. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm 3 years older than the average child. Sheepy: Satoru: Lobo might be older than the average child. He doesn't know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What an advanced child you are. *he seats himself among all the blood on the floor. Nothing unusual for an incubus, really* Perhaps he is. Sheepy: *Lobo looks over. he was mentioned? does weird mostly hairless puppy need him?* Sheepy: Satoru: Were you ever nine? Arsé-kun: Merlin: At some point! I don't really remember much from back then, but I must have been! Sheepy: Satoru: Did you have white hair then too? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yep! I had to keep it covered because it was "Weird" but I showed them! By taking off my hood anyway. Sheepy: Satoru: You had old man hair at age nine.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I must have been old at birth! Sheepy: Satoru: it's like premature graying out of the womb. Arsé-kun: *Dantes staring at them with his own head of white hair* Sheepy: Satoru: Were you born old too, Count? Arsé-kun: Dantes: As the Count, yes. Sheepy: Satoru: Wow. Sheepy: Satoru: Make sure to remember your birthday. Sheepy: Satoru: It'd be awkward to become a baby during a meeting. Arsé-kun: Dantes: For what? What does a reminder of one's mortality serve-- Ah. Sheepy: Satoru: Like Benjamin Button. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Curious man, that was! Did you know some myths say I was like him! I think that's cool. Sheepy: Satoru: How would anyone take care of a baby the size of an adult? Sheepy: Satoru: He can't go to kindergarten. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Carefully. Sheepy: Satoru: He'll be made fun of. Sheepy: Satoru: But maybe... Sheepy: Satoru: Maybe the Count is like that gray man. He's not actually old, just stressed. Arsé-kun: *Dantes pointedly stares at the hallway. He will not give his input.* Sheepy: Satoru: You should meet the gray man. He's nice. Arsé-kun: Dantes: We have met numerous times before. Sheepy: Satoru: Sometimes he tries to kill Uncle Mozzy. Sheepy: Satoru: Everyone's flawed, I suppose. Arsé-kun: Dantes: That is simply how he is. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Sheepy: Lobo: *he seems to be relaxing...* Sheepy: Satoru: You seem nice. I like you. Arsé-kun: *Dantes just smirks. He knows that is bullshit, he is not nice,* Sheepy: Satoru: Is that funny? Is it a joke? Sheepy: Satoru:.............. Sheepy: Satoru: Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Dantes: I am an Avenger. What may seem nice to you may only be restraint. Sheepy: Satoru: It's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I don't mind why you're nice. Sheepy: Satoru: I like it when people are nice to me. It can be because you want to backstab me. It won't bother me too much. I'm used to betrayal. Arsé-kun: Angra: gosh what a goddamn mood Sheepy: Satoru: What is a "mood"? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can relate. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I'll be nice to you more often then. Sheepy: Satoru: *he puts his arms out* Arsé-kun: *Angra drags himself up, abuses spirit form to clean off all the blood, and goes in for the Free Hug!* Sheepy: *Satoru gives Angra a hug!* Arsé-kun: *Angra likes this!! He never gets this!* Sheepy: Satoru: Are you feeling better? I can't heal you from your injuries because I don't know how to yet but hopefully this helps. Arsé-kun: Angra: I've been emotionally healed, Master, thank you! Sheepy: Satoru: That's good. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you know? Feeling sad will make you feel sick. Arsé-kun: Angra: That's not good for you, Master! I don't recommend it! It feels terribly bad, even if it's free food for me! Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. I was going to recommend the same to you. Sheepy: Satoru: Do you want one too, Count? Arsé-kun: Dantes: What use would I have for a mere gesture? *yes he does* It would only immobilize me for the time being. *he won't admit it* Sheepy: Satoru:..... Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Angra: Fuck that! Here, I'll help you! *he lunches at Dantes, and gets flicked away. Nope* Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, you're flying. So talented. Sheepy: Satoru: Then do you want one, Uncle Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Always!! *he pulls off his bloody cape and throws it aside. No need to spread that around!* Sheepy: Satoru: *he hugs Merlin* Arsé-kun: *Merlin has been fed for the next week, like an emotion snake. Feels good man* Sheepy: Lobo: *snore* Arsé-kun: *Merlin considers trying again, but he wants to be in the future where he's alive* Sheepy: Satoru: Sometimes when I'm tired I lie on the floor facedown and go to sleep. Sheepy: Satoru: Lobo must be having one of those days too. Arsé-kun: Angra: I, too, appreciate an escape from pain the moment it's available! Sheepy: Satoru: Do you use an airplane? By foot? A car? Arsé-kun: Angra: Those too! Sheepy: Satoru: How else do you escape Spain? Arsé-kun: Angra: Pain! I said pain! Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Sheepy: Satoru: Where is Pain? Sheepy: Satoru: Is it in France? Arsé-kun: Angra: Here it is! *he pinches Satoru's cheek* There it is! Sheepy: Satoru: Those are my cheeks. Sheepy: Satoru: I have two of them. Arsé-kun: Angra: If only I could ignore pain like that, goddamn. Sheepy: Satoru: It's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I've felt worse. Sheepy: Satoru: When it's bad enough I just go to sleep on the floor. Arsé-kun: Angra: Yeah, so have we Avengers, and then we kill them for it! Hey Master, lets commit a murder! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Where do we get them? Arsé-kun: Angra: In the weapon section of your regular supermarket~ Sheepy: Satoru:...They- They stock crows in the weapon section of our regular supermarket? Sheepy: Satoru:...I see... Arsé-kun: Angra: What, they don't do that anymore?? Sheepy: Satoru: ..I am that close to owning a crow. Sheepy: Satoru:...Ah, but going out is terrible... Sheepy: Satoru: I'd rather stay home and lead a sad, crowless life. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you know that crows can imitate words? Arsé-kun: Angra: No! That's fantastic. Sheepy: Satoru: They can say more human words than Lobo. Arsé-kun: *Vlad is peering in. It's obviously breakfast for him, but he won't interrupt. He will Patiently Wait out Here* Sheepy: Satoru: Dad? Do you want a hug? Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... Well, I will not deny you. Sheepy: Satoru: *he goes and hugs Vlad* Sheepy: Satoru: Were you woken up by Lobo? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Yes. What was that about? Sheepy: Satoru: They tried to remove his bear traps. Arsé-kun: Vlad: Ah. Understandable, but I do hope someone is willing to clean it up. Sheepy: Satoru: Me too. Sheepy: Satoru: It's dirty. Arsé-kun: Angra: It's atmospheric! Ah, the smell of murder in the evening! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: It's stinky. Arsé-kun: Angra: You do you! Sheepy: Satoru: I'm not stinky. Arsé-kun: Angra: Not what I was saying, but okay! Arsé-kun: Angra: It's my blood, partially, I'll sponge it up with my pants as punishment! Sheepy: Satoru:.... Sheepy: Satoru: *squint* Arsé-kun: Angra: What? Is there somethin' on my face? Sheepy: Satoru: Like, like a flat water slide? Sheepy: Satoru: You're going to slide across your own blood on your butt? Or on your stomach? Either one works for a slip n' slide. Arsé-kun: Angra: That sounds a lot more fun! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Have fun. Sheepy: Guin: *she walks in without looking around* Lance have you- *...only to notice the mess...*.... Arsé-kun: Angra: Hello, we're very bad at listening to instructions! Sheepy: Guin: What happened? Arsé-kun: Angra: We tried to pry off a bear trap. I thought he could make it act like a chain chomp, but apparently it doesn't work that way! Who knew? Sheepy: Satoru: We're going to use it as a slip n slide. Arsé-kun: Angra: Hell yeah we are! Sheepy: Guin: No, no you aren't! Arsé-kun: Angra: I'm already three bad decisions deep! Sheepy: Guin: Is the third one leaving Lance dead on the floor? Arsé-kun: Angra: Surprisingly, no! That one was a request! Sheepy: Guin: What? Why? Arsé-kun: Angra: Fuck if I know! Arsé-kun: *Angra goes to rockstar slide across the floor, and barely passes Dantes- Who grabs the back of his head and flips him onto his back. No. Denied.* Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, that's a new one. Arsé-kun: Lance: ....? *new fone who dis? He's seen them maybe once?* Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Lance is returning to the land of the living. Arsé-kun: Lance: Ssss... Sadlyyy, yes. Sheepy: Satoru: It makes me happy. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Oookay, that'ssss twooo... Sheepy: Satoru: Two what? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Don'worry about it.. Sheepy: Satoru: That's what people say when I should worry. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... .... I guessss. Sheepy: Guin: Lance, are you alright? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... *he gestures silently for a moment and 'hmmm's* Brain work like small potato. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, we can go get a new one for you. Sheepy: Satoru: Take out the old, put in the new. Sheepy: Satoru: Victor Frankenstein didn't need a medical license to replace a man's brain and nor do I. Arsé-kun: Lance: Concern! Sheepy: Satoru: Not for long. Sheepy: Satoru:...... Sheepy: Satoru: Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Lance: P-Pourquooiii?? Sheepy: Satoru: It's a joke. Sheepy: Satoru: Is it funny? Arsé-kun: *There's a solid nine seconds of silence before Dantes busts out laughing.* Sheepy: Satoru: .... Sheepy: Satoru: Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Angra: Boss, you sound like a sci-fi original series robot from a 1970's flick! Sheepy: Satoru:... Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Angra: Okay! I think it's neat. Sheepy: Satoru: I tried... Arsé-kun: Dantes: The best you can is certainly enough, do not let others tell you otherwise! Destroy them! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I'll keep trying. Sheepy: Satoru: One day it'll sound legitimate. Sheepy: Satoru: When that day comes it'll come from my heart. Not from my brain. But when that day comes I'll have to go to the doctor because my heart is laughing. Okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hopefully it'll come from your vocal cords! Sheepy: Satoru: It already does and it doesn't sound right. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he CONSIDERS stepping in, but quickly reconsiders* You'll get there! Sheepy: *Guin has begun cleaning up* Arsé-kun: *Lance drags himself up to help her. Angra cleans off one spot of the floor with his bandanna and puts it back on. classy* Sheepy: Satoru: When? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can't say, that's a spoiler! Sheepy: Satoru: A spoiler, huh? Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Spoil me at your own risk. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely not! Sheepy: Satoru: If you do I'll get angry. I'll try, I'll really try. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Iiiiiis that a promise? Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It'll happen some time in the future. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Now look at me and consider me angry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oooooo, I'm very afraid! What will Angry Satoru do? Sheepy: *Satoru is completely unchanged from his usual expressionless self...* Sheepy: Satoru: An evil mastermind doesn't reveal his hand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm in suspense! Sheepy: *Satoru sits on Merlin...* Sheepy: Satoru: I'll use you as a chair. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Welp, I'm now trapped! Sheepy: Satoru: Because I'm angry. Arsé-kun: Angra: No talk, me angy Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sorry. Arsé-kun: Angra: No, not... Awh, forget it! Sheepy: Satoru: That's what adults say when I'm incapable of understanding them. Sheepy: Satoru: Their words are an enigma, an insolvable puzzle. ...And yet. Arsé-kun: Angra: It was just a meme, sheesh. Sheepy: Satoru: What's a meme? Arsé-kun: *Merlin and Angra exchange a look of glee before Merlin takes out his phone. oh no. we learnin' about memes tonight kid* Sheepy: Satoru: Ah. I stepped into your trap. I am a fool. Arsé-kun: Angra: You've activated my trap card! Now we gotta explain memes! Sheepy: Satoru: Terrible, terrible. Arsé-kun: *And so, Angra cheerfully explains a few child-friendly memes while Merlin provides images. Everyone else cleans up. Except Lobo. Of course.* Sheepy: Satoru: I see... Sheepy: Satoru:...so... Sheepy: Satoru: A "boomer" is someone like Gil. An insult. Arsé-kun: Angra: I think You-Know-Who is a bit closer to that age, but sure! See how Gil reacts to that! Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Arsé-kun: Angra: Do you think anything I say is a good idea? Sheepy: Satoru: I trust you. Arsé-kun: Angra: Terrible idea, zero out of ten, I am a dumbass and a scoundrel! Sheepy: Satoru: You're nice so you wouldn't make me do something bad out of your own amusement. Arsé-kun: Angra: I.... .... Damn gen Z'ers! Sheepy: Satoru: What? Arsé-kun: *Angra now has to explain the concept of naming generations* Sheepy: Satoru: You're smart. Sheepy: Satoru: How did you learn so much? Arsé-kun: Angra: By reading memes when I'm not busy, which is most of the time!! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Is that how you learned them too, Uncle Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Some of it! I gotta keep up for my show! Sheepy: Satoru: Show? Sheepy: Satoru:....Ah... Sheepy: Satoru:...House of Mouse. Arsé-kun: *Angra snorts, loudly.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not quite, but that show was a banger! Sheepy: Satoru: No, no. Sheepy: Satoru: You hang clothes on bangers. Sheepy: Satoru:.....*thinking*.... Sheepy: Satoru:...No, those are hangers... Sheepy: Satoru: Then what is your show? Sheepy: Satoru: Is it like Gil's? Sheepy: Satoru: Will you be nice to me for publicity? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, it is sort of like Gil's, except less games and more work. Sheepy: Satoru: Wow. Sheepy: Satoru: Have you considered dinosaurs? I know so many dinosaurs. Sheepy: Satoru: If you talk about dinosaurs you'll be popular. Sheepy: Satoru: I talked about dinosaurs and made one friend. Sheepy: Satoru: He never came back though. That's okay. I hope he learned a lot about dinosaurs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He'll probably be back for the holidays, don't worry. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: You won't reject me because I'm not interesting enough, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Of course not. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. That's good. Arsé-kun: *Vlad has taken to staring at Guin. She heard that too, right? He didn't mishear that??* Sheepy: *Guin looks back to Vlad. She's incredibly happy!* Sheepy: Satoru: I could make up facts that sound cool but that's called lying. Unless it's science fiction. Sheepy: Satoru: Then it's called psuedoscience. Arsé-kun: Angra: what if they had hair and we didn't know Sheepy: Satoru: They wouldn't know either. Sheepy: Satoru: They wouldn't recognize it. Sheepy: Satoru: It's okay. Arsé-kun: Dantes: *This is an atmosphere of Some Kind. Less chaotic than Chaldea, but not entirely domestic either. Huh. Interesting. He continues to Observe.* Sheepy: Satoru: You know some dinosaurs had multiple brains. Sheepy: Satoru: They'd bash the brains out of other dinosaurs with their brains. Arsé-kun: Angra: That's so sexy of them Sheepy: Satoru: Although recently they decided that these dinosaurs only have one. Sheepy: Satoru:.... Sheepy: Satoru:...So they're reverse Victor Frankensteins... Sheepy: Satoru: They take a preexisting thing and steal its brain. Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Merlin would know the truth. He's old enough to have seen dinosaurs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: My father certainly was, I can say that much! Sheepy: Satoru: Your dad... Sheepy: Satoru:... Sheepy: Satoru:...was a dinosaur? Sheepy: Satoru: Ah... Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Merlin really is the coolest... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Was old enough to see them!!! Sheepy: Satoru: He's half wizard, half dinosaur. Sheepy: Satoru: I knew you were cool, but not this cool. Incredible. Sheepy: Satoru: Did Uncle Bedi see the dinosaurs too? Sheepy: Satoru: He must be older than your dad. Sheepy: Satoru: He's the Single Father. This means that he was the original dad. Because he's the only dad in the whole wide world. Sheepy: Satoru: The single one. Arsé-kun: *Angra breaks down into hysterical laughter and Merlin just looks bewildered. He did not see THAT coming* Sheepy: Satoru: You look afraid. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you know that about him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I am unable to give you a good response to that. How do I?! Sheepy: Satoru: Perhaps...Uncle Merlin isn't as knowledgeable as I thought. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Because I don't know one thing?? Sheepy: Satoru:...Or maybe Uncle Bedi is a cryptid that Uncle Merlin has yet to understand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: If anything, I'd be the cryptid! Sheepy: Satoru: The Single Father versus the Legendary Wizard. Sheepy: Satoru: Who will win this battle of wits? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, my father's been dead for hundreds of years, so it's not really fair. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: That's understandable. Sheepy: Satoru: You can ask Uncle Bedi. I tried and he just looked horrified. To the point of silence. Sheepy: Satoru: But you..you can convince him to divulge his secrets. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How about I just use my clairvoyance and look back for myself? Sheepy: Satoru: Have you no shame? You just cheat? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely none, except when I do! Sheepy: Satoru: Maybe my ideal fiction relies on the lack of facts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I reject your reality in favor of my own! Sheepy: Satoru: what's yours? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The same except I'm going to check without being shamed! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Have fun. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I will!! *he turns his head to gaze at the floor. He Is Going To Check* Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: *Satoru waits.* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 5 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 12 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun: *Merlin distracts himself briefly, and has to start over. A pity. He does find exactly what he was looking for by forcing a look into the past, but he grows curious and continues back further. He sees his father's ancestors, and their ancestors, and their ancestors, and their mother Queen of the Monsters, and her brother, and his-TOO FAR, TOO FAR! He forcefully quits the vision with a short spell, but he did it faaaar too late and now his eyes feel like burning. Gee whiz.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can- ow- report that I have an answer--oww! *he rubs an eye* My father had ancestors, and they had ancestors, and they did too! He was not the Single Father! Sheepy: Satoru: He lied to me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He probably did not know! Sheepy: Satoru: He said he was a single father. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not what that means! That means Bedi just raised kids without a mother! Sheepy: Satoru: He got them from a stork? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's what he said too!! But a succu-bus is a bit of a more accurate answer!~ Sheepy: Satoru: You're a liar. Sheepy: Satoru: Buses didn't exist back then. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It was a pun!!!! Sheepy: Satoru:..... Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But that's your answer. He had kids brought to him and he raised them without the mom. I was raised without a dad. Common thing back then! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lancelot was raised by a single mom, too! Except she's a watery twat, and- *Lancelot throws a paper towel tube at Merlin. Merlin does not see it coming. Bonk. 2 damage.* -Ouch! It's true, you know! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Don't use so much water next time then. Arsé-kun: *Merlin exhales hard and tries not to laugh.* Sheepy: Satoru: I have a mom and two dads. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Only one mom? Sheepy: Satoru: The other one never really interacts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then go interact! Sheepy: Satoru: She sleeps in her coffin most of the day. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And Vlad doesn't? Sheepy: Satoru: He does. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, he's up, so maybe she is too. Sheepy: Satoru: It's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm 12. Sheepy: Satoru: If you want me to leave just say so. It's a pain trying to figure out what people want when they just dance around it. Sheepy: *Satoru gets off of Merlin's lap* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Perceptive boy! Not that I want you to, but I need to tell Bedi something without you hearing it. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. It's adult talk. I understand. Sheepy: Satoru: Have fun. Sheepy: Satoru: *he leaves* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Bedivere? Sheepy: Guin: I really don't see the similarities between Sir Bedivere and Lance... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... .... He's not here? Sheepy: Guin: He left while mumbling to himself about something. I think he headed towards the kitchen. Hold on. Sheepy: *Guin leaves briefly before returning with Bedi* Arsé-kun: Lance: Aah. Sheepy: Bedi: What is the purpose of those "kiss the cook" aprons? I do not want to be kissed purely because I cooked... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why not? Also, Bedi, I've made a mistake. Sheepy: Bedi: It just makes the food sit around longer, waiting to become cold...Ah? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I may have accidentally blinded myself forcing a look back, and faaar too back! I've made an incubus' mistake of not quitting while he's ahead. Sheepy: Bedi: Queen Guinevere? What day is it? Sheepy: Guin:...Friday? Arsé-kun: Merlin: am i about to get rekt? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah! It is a day that ends in y! Of course Merlin is making terrible mistakes! Sheepy: Guin: You look and sound so happy when you say it...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Holy shit! You fuckin' killed me, babe! Sheepy: Bedi: But what do you mean? I am afraid I do not understand... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean I blinded myself and was asking for your help, you big bully! Sheepy: Bedi: When I look too far back my neck just hurts...hm? Sheepy: Bedi: Y-you blinded yourself? This IS a problem...! Sheepy: Bedi: What can I do to help?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Help me get out of here without slipping on blood and breaking my skull on the floor, killing my temporary body instantly! ... Also, the idea of stairs without sight is still frightening. Sheepy: *Bedi picks Merlin up gently* Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 5 Sheepy: *Bedi proceeds to slip on the blood.* Arsé-kun: *Bedi is only stopped from landing in a puddle of blood by someone grabbing the back of his collar. He's saved from bloodass syndrome, where you have blood, on your ass* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you...! Arsé-kun: Dantes: Don't mention it. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes...I suppose working together like this is now our job! Sheepy: *Bedi heads upstairs!* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes...I suppose working together like this is now our job! Arsé-kun: Dantes: *gross. kindness. disgusting.* Sheepy: *Bedi heads upstairs!* Sheepy: Bedi: Where did you want to go...? How can we fix your eyes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Our room would be nice... I probably just need to stop using them for a bit like usual! Sheepy: Bedi: Right, good idea. *he brings Merlin to their room* Sheepy: Bedi: You can relax and I will stay with you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sounds wonderful, but were you doing something before? Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, I was cooking. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And you just... Left it? Unprotected? With the garbage man in this house? Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, not unprotected. Sheepy: Bedi: Emiya is finishing it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's quite a relief!! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, he was teaching me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, go finish your lesson first! I'll wait! Sheepy: Bedi: No, no, you come first. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can't argue, can I? Sheepy: Bedi: You can try. Sheepy: Bedi: Do you need anything? Sheepy: Bedi:I can get whatever it is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: More! Blankets! Sheepy: Bedi: One moment. Sheepy: *Bedi gets more blankets for Merlin!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin cheers and buries himself under them. Protection from the World EX* Sheepy: Bedi: Is that all? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Love, affection, and some of those gummi bears we have in the pantry. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...I think I know of those. Sheepy: Bedi: *he leaves briefly before returning with gummi bears. he gives them to Merlin* Arsé-kun: *Merlin finds them based on sound of landing on 1000 blankets, and sticks a hand out to snatch them* Sheepy: *Merlin receives gummi bears!* Arsé-kun: *yaaaaaaaaaay* Sheepy: Bedi: Did you know? Sheepy: Bedi: Potatoes can be used in many things other than mashed potatoes... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Unless your name is Gawain! Sheepy: Bedi: I should tell Gawain about it. Sheepy: Bedi: Although maybe I should learn to make something sweet and junky instead of a nutritious meal... Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, my cooking knowledge only goes so far as living off the land, with no technology in sight... Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's why you learn! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: That is why I have you. Sheepy: Bedi: To taste test. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And the only options are "I don't die" or "I die"! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Or the rare third option! "I actually taste this so it would kill a mortal man!" Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm...? Is my cooking truly that terrible at times? Sheepy: Bedi: Or perhaps...people are just picky... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I didn't say option three was a bad thing! Sheepy: Bedi: There is little that I have compared to the other knights of the round table that makes me stand out. Other than my sense of direction, all I have is the capability to tell what is poisonous and what is not. Sheepy: Bedi: So all of my food is trustworthy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But not being poison doesn't always mean anything else~ Sheepy: Bedi:.... Sheepy: Bedi:....? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Might be sour, or bitter! We wouldn't know! Sheepy: Bedi: I am afraid I do not understand... Those are normal flavors... Sheepy: Bedi: They are not problematic in any way. Sheepy: Bedi:....Ah, but Sir Gawain is fully capable of taking edible ingredients and creating an inedible product. What a genius he is! Arsé-kun: Merlin: if I can taste, it might be too much. Sheepy: Bedi: Mashing chicken...Who would have thought of it other than Sir Gawain?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely nobody. Sheepy: Bedi:... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Sheepy: Bedi:...I truly wish to forget it.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lets forget Thanksgiving Dinner by Gawain. Sheepy: Bedi: Mistakes must be done to learn from them. Sheepy: Bedi:...But I would have liked to have stayed blissfully stupid and naive... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm so glad I didn't partake in that! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...it was terrible. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I am aware. Sheepy: Bedi: My stomach hurt afterwards... Sheepy: Bedi: I could not waste food in front of the king. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...was there not something else you wanted...? Sheepy: Bedi: It slipped my mind. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, I sure got the attention half of it! Sheepy: Bedi: What was the other half? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not as important! Go finish your lesson! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...alright. Try to rest. *Bedi leaves* Sheepy: *meanwhile...there is a knock at the door!* Arsé-kun: *Jekyll gets it, as the only person present with any goddamn manners (that isn't busy)* Sheepy: Definitely not Juve: H-hey- *throat clear* I have a Christmas tree that is definitely something Mr. Sherlock Holmes bought. Definitely. Please believe me. Sheepy: Definitely not Juve: (Nailed it.) Arsé-kun: Jekyll: .... I don't mean to be rude, but Juve, it is painfully obvious that it's you. Sheepy: Surprisingly Juve: Ugh?! But the hat, the uniform...! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: You did well until "Definitely" was uttered. But no matter, you still brought what was ordered. Sheepy: Juve: He definitely ordered this! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: If you'd like to speak with him, ah... I believe he is busy? Sheepy: Juve: Oh, alright. What about Watson? Arsé-kun: Minako: *absolutely lurking behind Jekyll* chrimbo tree Arsé-kun: Jekyll: If we had the man, I would tell you. Unless you mean the Avenger..? Sheepy: Juve: Watson is an Avenger?! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: That was not who I was referring to, my mistake. If you'd like someone he has called Watson, there is an Avenger and an Archer. Sheepy: Juve: Archer seems more promising.... Sheepy: Juve: Can I meet this Archer? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I see no reason why not. Come in, and place the tree on the side. A Berserker will handle the rest. Sheepy: *Juve does so before entering* Sheepy: Juve: Where is this Archer? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: He should be nearby. Here, I'll bring you to him. Sheepy: Juve: Oh, good! Sheepy: *Juve enters the room with Mori* Arsé-kun: *Mori barely glances up at him. He is Busy* Arsé-kun: Mori: Certainly not, but Someone tends to make that mistake enough that I'm already tired of it. What do you want? Sheepy: Juve: Oh, I had information on the case. Sheepy: Juve: Eeh..that's kinda vague, I guess... Sheepy: Juve:...... Sheepy: Juve: But if you're Holmes's assistant, you should know what I'm talking about! Right? Sheepy: Juve: Although he has a tendency to just avoid me when it isn't business related...maybe he never tells you anything about his life either... Arsé-kun: Mori: Enough of an idea to go off of, yes. Sheepy: Juve: Oh, really? Arsé-kun: Mori: I live with the bastard. Go on. Sheepy: Juve: Oh, good, good, uhh... Sheepy: Juve: So you know that Masato guy? Sheepy: Juve: He smells funny. Uh, what I mean to say is... Arsé-kun: *Hans peers out of the cupboard. Attention gained* Sheepy: Juve: He's got traces of Fantomas all over him. Arsé-kun: Mori: Disgusting. What a pain of a human to deal with. Sheepy: Juve: I guess because Fantomas has no actual identity himself it'd be easier to manifest in the body of someone else...? Sheepy: Juve:....But, uh... Arsé-kun: Mori: *he looks to Holmes, lurking in a corner* I can see you, git. Sheepy: Juve: Well, the reason why Masanori didn't really even exist until recently is because, uh... Sheepy: Holmes: You can be my eyes just fine, right? That is your talent as an assistant. I'll simply loom here. Arsé-kun: Mori: I wear glasses. I absolutely cannot. Sheepy: Holmes: How unfortunate. Sheepy: Holmes: Go on, detective. Sheepy: Juve: Oh, wow, me, a detective? In the eyes of the great Sherlock Holmes!? Wow! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Please go on, Juve. Sheepy: Juve: I looked myself up on Wikipedia and people say - oh? Oh! Sheepy: Juve: Well, he's not real! Sheepy: Juve:...Maybe? Arsé-kun: Mori: So about as real as one Mr. Edward Hyde on a good day. Sheepy: Juve: Fantomas steals the identity of people he targets, but he needs to be able to catch hold before killing them. So starting off as a new identity might be simpler. Sheepy: Juve:...Or something. Sheepy: Juve: Like a parasite!...Or something. Arsé-kun: Mori: No, no, that's right. Sheepy: Juve: But I guess if you remove him out of the picture, uh, that other guy will go back to being his fairly forgettable self. Sheepy: Juve:....Maybe. Sheepy: Juve: Or maybe he's dead already. Arsé-kun: Mori: That is still fantastic information. In lieu of Holmes being an antisocial prick, I thank you- Pardon? Sheepy: Juve: Huh? Oh, is that a surprise? As I said, he kills the people he steals the identities of. Sheepy: Juve: If he's latched onto this guy, why would it be any different? Sheepy: Juve: Oh, you know, Wikipedia said that Fantomas is theorized to just be all a part of my imagination, an amalgamation of all of the criminals I've faced! Arsé-kun: Jekyll: *he opts to ignore this* So it is entirely possible to, perhaps, remove him before that? .. Assuming the original man is not dead.. Sheepy: Juve: Yeah, he's scary until you figure out whose face he's wearing. Sheepy: Juve:...Oh, afterwards he's scary and slippery. Sheepy: Juve: Like an eel. Sheepy: Juve: Hmm...a parasitic eel. Arsé-kun: Hyde: So just stab him a bunch and hold the knives! No one's slippery with a bunch of grabable lacerations! Arsé-kun: *oh no.* Sheepy: Juve:.... Sheepy: Juve: *he puts his hands on Hyde's face and starts tugging* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Hey, you knock that off! I'll make your face into a scooby doo villain mask! Sheepy: Juve: B-but I'm no villain! Sheepy: Juve: That other guy, though, he just seems like your typical bad person. Arsé-kun: Hyde: I was given permission to be here! Lemme go! Sheepy: Juve: Well, I have a feeling he's who got them both involved - *he lets go* - in this whole mess to begin with. Arsé-kun: Mori: By "other guy", you mean...? Sheepy: Juve:...But take this with a grain of salt, uh... Sheepy: Juve: Because some bird broke into my home and suddenly that thought occurred to me. Sheepy: Juve: Arryn? Arsé-kun: Mori: That's what I thought. Arsé-kun: Mori: And by happenstance, white peacock? Sheepy: Juve: Very rude one... Arsé-kun: Andersen: Elyannn. *he groans* Idiot bird bastard can't be assed to tell us himself. Sheepy: Juve:....H-he can talk? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Halloween. Bridge monster. Knight. That was him. Sheepy: Juve: He ate my food, knocked my things on the floor... Sheepy: Juve: Wh-what? Arsé-kun: Mori: Holmes, control your bird contact. Sheepy: Holmes: I have little to do with him past him being a friend of a friend. Arsé-kun: Mori: How many times has that bird come up to your window while we're discussing cases? Unlikely. Sheepy: Holmes: He's a friend of a friend. Sheepy: Holmes: You've met both. You can see the similarities. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... I see what you're getting at. Fine, I will allow that to slide. Sheepy: Juve: How can a bird shapeshift? Arsé-kun: Mori: Magic, obviously. Sheepy: Holmes: Well, you know. Sheepy: Juve: So a water monster ate my chicken cheerio soup...well. pecked at it before knocking it on the ground... before honking at me and leaving? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Sounds right. Sheepy: Juve: Oh...my poor pillow too... he dragged it all over... Sheepy: Holmes: your what soup Arsé-kun: Mori: I was hoping to ignore that detail. Sheepy: Juve: Terrible....how did he get in? Arsé-kun: Andersen: With an entrance. Sheepy: Juve: But they were locked....Ah! Sheepy: Juve: I get it! From my closet! Arsé-kun: Andersen: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Juve: Scary...maybe I can sleep here for tonight... Sheepy: Holmes: No. Sheepy: Juve: Wow! The great Sherlock Holmes thinks so quickly! Incredible! Sheepy: Juve: Maybe, just maybe, one day...I will reach such levels. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh. I sure hope so. Sheepy: Juve: How encouraging! Arsé-kun: Hyde: You'd need a brain for that! Don't go stealing them! Sheepy: Juve: Stealing? Brains? Sheepy: Juve:.... Sheepy: Juve: Oh! Haha! Like Fantomas! I get it! Arsé-kun: Hyde: .... You're fuckin' stupid, ain'tcha. Arsé-kun: Hyde: No wonder Henry let me take the wheel. I'm being driven to drink. Sheepy: Juve: Actually, maybe I'm in danger. Sheepy: Juve: Because maybe he'll target me if he finds out about me. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Then don't be goddamn stupid, how hard is that?! Sheepy: Juve:...But of course! Sheepy: Juve: He won't find out about me. Sheepy: Juve: I'm not Juve! I'm Christmas Tree Delivery Man. Bringing Christmas cheer to your home! Arsé-kun: Hyde: ... If I murdered this man and opened his skull, would there be a brain? Can I find out? Sheepy: Holmes: You'll ruin our flooring. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Okay, so outsiiiiiide! Sheepy: Juve:....Eh? Sheepy: Juve: H-hold on. Sheepy: Juve:....B-but... What ever came of "don't kill the messenger"?! Sheepy: Juve: I know I'm dumb and all but killing me seems a little too serious! Sheepy: Juve: A-and besides....You learned something, right? Sheepy: Holmes: We're working on a limited time schedule, right? And we have to figure out how to remove him. Arsé-kun: Mori: I'll work with you on this- I have reason to be interested. Sheepy: Juve: Theoretically there's many ways to do that. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Violence! Sheepy: Juve: Eh? Wouldn't that kill the host if you got forceful enough? Arsé-kun: Hyde: So what? Sheepy: Juve: Is the host not important? Arsé-kun: *Andersen has stopped listening- He's been struck by AN IDEA™ and he has to write it RIGHT NOW* Sheepy: Juve: I got the feeling he was. Sheepy: Juve:....Eh, but...You couuuuld, uh... Arsé-kun: Hyde: You could lure the bitch to Henry and I'll kill him myself! Easy! Sheepy: Juve: Oh, really? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Fuck if I know! But I'll take a chance to end a bitch! Sheepy: Juve: ....?! Oh, oh, I get it. Arsé-kun: Mori: *expects a dumb* Sheepy: Juve: You'll play Hyde and Go Seek with him. Sheepy: Juve: *grin* Arsé-kun: Hyde: .... Can I chase him off the property with the threat of violence?? *he's also grinning, because he can feel every fiber of Jekyll's being HATING THAT PUN* Sheepy: Holmes: I want to help. Sheepy: Juve: Oh, I'll help too! Sheepy: Juve:...But... Arsé-kun: Hyde: Great! You have three seconds to run. Sheepy: Juve: Just don't let him- What? Sheepy: Juve: What kind of seconds are we talking here? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Two. One. Sheepy: Juve: Are we talking "1 Mississipi" or just a simple quick countdown? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Makin' werewolf food tonight, boys! *he whips out the knives* Sheepy: Juve: ...?! Sheepy: Juve:....I can't fight... Sheepy: Juve: That's not a capability I have... Arsé-kun: Hyde: Then better get runnin' 'fore I do worse to you than kill ya! Sheepy: Juve:...B-but.... Sheepy: Juve: I come in here to help..and you threaten me? Arsé-kun: Hyde: Eyyyyyup! Henry says "oh be nice and let him gooo" but peh! Where's the fun in that? Sheepy: Juve: For one, I'm level 1. I also, uh... Sheepy: Juve:.... Arsé-kun: Hyde: That's like killing a baby. Sheepy: Juve: Yes! Arsé-kun: Hyde: Great thing that hasn't stopped me before! Sheepy: Juve: No, no, no! Sheepy: Juve: You can't kill me! Sheepy: Juve: 'Cause if you do.. Arsé-kun: Hyde: .... I've lost the mood. Henry can deal with this crap. *he pulls out a flask and takes a swig from it* His problem now. Sheepy: Juve:...Well, I told you your enemy and you're just going to get rid of the only tool to truly deal with him... Sheepy: Juve:...maybe? Sheepy: Juve: Oh, you won't kill me? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: Apparently not. *he fixes his glasses* So did that delivery come with any bills, or are you loitering? Sheepy: Juve: Delivery? Bills? Sheepy: Juve: Oh, oh, that? Sheepy: Juve: I don't know where thst Christmas Tree was meant to go. Sheepy: Holmes: Are you implying you stole a Christmas tree and dumped ot in front of our house? Sheepy: Juve: That's a rude way to put it. Yes. Arsé-kun: *Jekyll sighs* Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I'll put a call in and deal with it. Sheepy: Juve: Anyway! Be careful, alright? He's dangerous. Oh, if he finds me can you protect me? Arsé-kun: Mori: No. Sheepy: Juve: Eh...but...imagine if he grabbed a hold of me... Arsé-kun: Mori: Please leave. Sheepy: Juve: It's like a rat coming to employ rat poison for its own use... Sheepy: Juve:...Uh, alright ...man, I give tips and everyone shoos me away... *Juve mopes but leaves* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... So the butler is not even real? How interesting. Sheepy: Holmes: Seems so. Sheepy: Holmes: I had suspicions something wasn't right. Arsé-kun: Mori: Not that you'll share. Sheepy: Holmes: Elyan woukd ramble on with great length about Arryn. As he does with any human...especially those he fixates on. But there was little to mention of Masanori. Sheepy: Holmes: So, of course, I came to the conclusion, especially with his great fascination of Sir Lucan, that it must be a situation where something wasn't quite right. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, the explanation would bore you. Arsé-kun: Mori: You've yet to bore me. Sheepy: Holmes: What's important is that now that we have answers we can come up with a plan. Arsé-kun: Mori: Ousting a pseudo servant may not be simple. You're prepared, yes? Sheepy: Holmes: I believe so. Arsé-kun: Dantes: With what has been learned- *He comes out from behind Holmes.*- is my class permitted to perform its role? Sheepy: Holmes: Yes. Arsé-kun: Dantes: Oh, how eagerly I look forward for the chance to ruin them! *he exits scene, cackling. oh no* Arsé-kun: Mori: Well, now of Chaldea will know something is happening. Sheepy: Holmes: Hm? Sheepy: Holmes: .... Sheepy: Holmes: That would be...problematic, to say the least. Arsé-kun: Dantes: *absolutely not from the hallway right outside the room* I'm malicious, not stupid. Sheepy: Holmes: Malicious, hm... Sheepy: Satoru: *stare* Sheepy: Satoru: So now we know our enemy. Arsé-kun: Mori: Better than before, certainly. Do you have anything to add? Sheepy: Satoru: No. Sheepy: Satoru: What do we do? Sheepy: Satoru: We can't just expel him, right? Arsé-kun: Mori: Most likely not, no. Sheepy: Satoru: Then what? Arsé-kun: Mori: When we find out, we will tell you. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. I can help. Sheepy: Holmes: A Servant's job is to deal with your enemies and not let you come into danger. Arsé-kun: Mori: Holmes, with how affected he is by this, I'd give him the right to land at least one blow on the bastard. Sheepy: Holmes: You're his caretaker. I won't step in your way even if I think what you're doing is a bad idea. Arsé-kun: Mori: And he would do it even without permission. Sheepy: Holmes: That's true. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm rebellious. When I turn 13 it'll be considered acceptable and normal behavior. Sheepy: Satoru: That's how I'll become an evil mastermind. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah-ah. Evil masterminds don't put themselves in harm's way, you know. That's the job of their minions. Arsé-kun: Mori: This is true, certainly. Sheepy: Satoru: Give one example of this being a successful strategy that kept the evil mastermind out of danger. Sheepy: Holmes:....*he puts his pipe in his mouth*..... Arsé-kun: Mori: When we don't go check the heroes suffering ourselves. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: If I ignore Holmes I won't get thrown off a waterfall. Sheepy: Holmes: You phrase that like I had anything to do with it... Sheepy: Satoru: You pushed him off a waterfall and had nothing to do with it? How? Arsé-kun: Mori: Yes, please, elaborate. Sheepy: Holmes: Hmhm....well, for one, Professor, I did not cause you to turn to a life of crime to begin with. Sheepy: Holmes:.....*he's fidgeting with his pipe*.... Sheepy: Holmes:.......... Sheepy: Holmes: The truth is... Sheepy: Holmes:....*incoherent mumbling* Sheepy: Holmes:....And that's why I had little to do with it. Sheepy: Satoru:...What? Arsé-kun: Mori: Can you repeat that please? Admit to your mistakes? Sheepy: Holmes: Hah! Well, it would've been one of us at the rate we were going. And besides, you wouldn't be angry if it were the other way around. Sheepy: Holmes:..... Sheepy: Holmes: I slipped. Sheepy: Holmes: You just so happened to be in my way. I must thank you for cushioning my fall, Professor. Very nice of you. Arsé-kun: Mori: You're still the reason for my terrible back, and you will never live it down. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahaha! How is it in de-Nile river, Professor? Don't blame me for passing years. Arsé-kun: Mori: You landed on me! That has nothing to do with age! Sheepy: Holmes: Your mind ages like fine wine, but your body simply ages... Sheepy: Holmes: Old men have creaky bones and poor hips. Sheepy: Holmes: Just think of it as a favor - I helped you get a lovable Papa persona! *he's laughing. terrible* Arsé-kun: Mori: Satoru, in times like this, where is it I tell you to punch the hero? Sheepy: Satoru: Ah. To get a critical hit. Arsé-kun: Mori: Correct! *and he swings his coffin straight at the critical hit spot* Sheepy: Holmes: U-ugh?! Sheepy: Holmes: Horrible! P-Professor! I took you as a man with some semblance of dignity! Arsé-kun: Mori: You thought wrong!! Sheepy: Holmes: Ugh...! Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa is strong. Arsé-kun: Mori: You damn well know why I appear this way. I won't hear otherwise. Sheepy: Holmes: Because you improved even unto your final moments. Arsé-kun: Mori: As I had a man's ass planted into my back, killing me instantly. Sheepy: Holmes: You have the option to do the same to me. Arsé-kun: Mori: Great. Perish. Sheepy: Holmes:....? Arsé-kun: Mori: You jump off the roof, then I'll slam down upon you and hopefully you'll die slowly. Sheepy: Holmes: That's not what I said at all! Arsé-kun: Mori: But have you considered dying for me? Sheepy: Holmes: You lull me into a sense of security, like potentially you could be my friend... Sheepy: Holmes: Then you threaten to murder me... Arsé-kun: Mori: You come in here, knowing who I am, and ask me to remind you to eat. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, but who will if not you? Arsé-kun: Mori: Literally anyone else. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh...how unfortunate. Sheepy: Holmes: I was hoping you would come to enjoy my company. Ah, I suppose it took Watson a while too. Sheepy: Holmes: Give it the old college try. You might end up liking me. Arsé-kun: Mori: Horrible. Disgusting. Sheepy: Holmes: Why? Arsé-kun: Mori: Why? ... Why are you taking this so seriously? Sheepy: Holmes: Were you not? Sheepy: Holmes: We're allies. As enjoyable as it is to poke fun at you, we should still make an effort to befriend each other. Arsé-kun: Mori: For a questionable amount of time. Until you laughed at my expense, you can perish for that posthaste! Sheepy: Holmes: Well, the opportunity presented itself. Sheepy: Holmes: You must see some humor in your current state, can't you? Arsé-kun: Mori: No. It is miserable. Even having fully ascended it still acts up. Sheepy: Holmes: Well, if not that... Sheepy: Holmes: Before you were the Napoleon of Crime, loveless, cruel. So I saw you as, anyway. Sheepy: Holmes: Now you're just Crime Papa. Sheepy: Holmes: I find it hilarious at least! Sheepy: Holmes: In its own way, however...it's very good character development. Incredible! Arsé-kun: Mori: So I've grown more than you. How good to know. Arsé-kun: Mori: At least I have grown, while you've stayed as a slob. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahaha! See, there is a positive side! Sheepy: Holmes: Everyone has character flaws, of course. Mine are minimal and easy for others to deal with. Sheepy: Holmes: Reminding me to do necessary things to stay alive is easy enough, yes? My slob nature is just an offshoot of it. When I get home I want to sleep. My coat can stay on the sofa. Sheepy: Holmes: When I awake I wish to work. My coat can stay on the sofa. Sheepy: Holmes: When I go out, because I am a clean slob, I change. My clothes can stay on the floor. I know where they are. Sheepy: Holmes: It's a waste or my time to clean up after myself. Fortunately, much like when I was alive, this place has roomkeeping too. Unfortunately, the roomkeeper is much less charismatic here than at the Baker's Street address, but I'll learn to live with his regular complaining and guilting me when I don't eat his cooking because I simply forget. Sheepy: Holmes: His cooking is incredible, but I'd much rather he bring it up than dragging me out of my room and away from my work simply because he expects eating to be a social exercise. Hah! Of course, in my free time I love to visit restaurants with my good friend, but that is my free time. Sheepy: Satoru: In a way, he's kind of like a child who never grew up...letting others decide his schedule for eating and what he'll eat... having others do what he needs to stay alive... Arsé-kun: Mori: Oh, you're entirely correct, but the word you may want is "Toddler". While he may have half an excuse in "I'm sharing a Saint Graph with the Lord of Sleeping 24/7", he would be contradicting his own statements. Arsé-kun: Mori: I get more and more embarrassed about having lost to this... Disaster, every time this comes up. I was beaten by an adult toddler. Sheepy: Holmes: Contradicting...what? Arsé-kun: Mori: You've mentioned Watson having to babysit you as well, so you can't use your... Friend, as an excuse. Sheepy: Holmes: Hm... I fail to understand how it makes me a child. Sheepy: Holmes: I'm very capable of doing these things. I make an active choice not to in favor of focusing on actually important things. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Now I am curious. How did you actually die, Holmes? Sheepy: Holmes: Happy and fulfilled I suppose. Sheepy: Holmes: I assume you meant rhe manner in which I died... which would be... Sheepy: Holmes: I guess my body just failed me one day from lack of care. Sheepy: Holmes: I do wonder though...did anyone take care of my bees in my stead? Sheepy: Holmes: Perhaps Watson did. Arsé-kun: Mori: Or they died the same way you did: Without constant supervision. Sheepy: Holmes: Of course. I gave them constant supervision. Sheepy: Holmes: The doctor was kind enough to visit me in my last day or two. Sheepy: Holmes: So perhaps he brought them with him upon my passing... Sheepy: Satoru: So if Grandpa had waited a little while longer to face off with you you would have died from starvation and Reichenbach wouldn’t have happened? Arsé-kun: Mori: I much prefer that version of events! How much do you think I need to pay to have a work like that written? Sheepy: Holmes: I left my job because I realized that you were in a once in a lifetime type of rival... whom I merely threw away. Let slip through my grasp. Sheepy: Holmes:...Apologies, no pun intended. Arsé-kun: Mori: Offense taken. Sheepy: Holmes: Simply, I found myself constantly disappointed by my cases after that. Sheepy: Holmes: So... Much like you, I would have preferred if you hadn’t fallen either. But you don’t realize what you’re losing until you’ve lost it. Sheepy: Holmes: Lupin is a once in a lifetime type of man, too. How lucky am I to have met both you and Lupin! Sheepy: Satoru: I like Lupin. Sheepy: *There’s a loud crash! Lobo begins snarling and barking loudly...* Sheepy: Satoru: The mailman is here. Sheepy: Satoru: I hope my package is here. Arsé-kun: Mori: I... Heavily doubt it, but let us see. Sheepy: *Grif enters the room, holding Lupin* Sheepy: Satoru: That’s not my package. Sheepy: Satoru: Can you bring my package next time please? Arsé-kun: *Lupin has 110% given up on escaping and is just being dragged along like a heavy sack of potatoes and trying to text. He's so done. So completely and understandably done.* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... And please use the door on your way out, good sir. Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I have created a new one. Sheepy: Satoru: I didn’t order a door. Arsé-kun: *Background Avenger and Clown laughter. Being Emiya is suffering.* Sheepy: Grif: How unfortunate for you. Sheepy: Grif: Now then. Sheepy: Holmes: ...Lupin? Sheepy: Grif: No! Griflet. Arsé-kun: Lupin: Bonjour. Sheepy: Grif: You’ll get it right next time. I believe in you. Or else. Sheepy: *Holmes checks his phone* Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Holmes] Help I've been dragged around all evening and I don't want to go on a foggy abandoned hospital adventure but "Non" is not an answer he accepts. Sheepy: Holmes: [text: to Lupin] Have you tried bribing him? Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Holmes] Kay already gave him an apple. I can't top that, apparently. Sheepy: Holmes: [text: to Lupin] Gibe him two apples. Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Holmes] Ah yes let me pull apples out of my ass Sheepy: Holmes: [text: to Lupin] How talented you are! Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Holmes] Ah yes everyone knows me as the ass apple shooter. I shoot apples out of my ass. Sometimes they're pre sliced, it's up to the will of god and apparently my ass. Arsé-kun: *Lupin looks, somehow, even more completely finished with this situation* Sheepy: Holmes: [text: to Lupin] Incredible! I never knew! Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Arsé-kun: Mori: Yes, hello, why are you here? Sheepy: Grif: Is it not obvious? Sheepy: Grif: Too bad. Arsé-kun: Mori: You're going to tell me anyway. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Well. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: *he awkwardly breaks eye contact* ....... Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Sheepy: Grif: Well. You know. Arsé-kun: *Lupin replaces himself with a couch cushion in the background* Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST 325: FANTO-MAST YOU BE SUCH A BUTT(LER)?] [RECEIVED FROM: ELYAN] [Details: "Masanori" has been revealed ro be Fantomas all along. Action should be taken soon. Contact JAMES MORIARTY to learn more.] Sheepy: Grif: The reward is particularly important for my hoard. Please understand. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... ... This is not the strangest thing I've seen in my lifetime. Arsé-kun: Mori: But yes, that is correct information. We're unsure of how to continue as well. It would require splitting the Saint Graph off the human it is merged with, but that isn't something that's just... Done. Sheepy: Grif: I see. I am good at splitting things. Arsé-kun: Mori: Without killing the human. We can't question him if he is dead. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I am good at this. I leave them split. Yet alive. It is merciful. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... I suppose limbs are not counted as "required". Arsé-kun: Mori: We need more information than we have. We don't even know what class Fantomas is. Sheepy: Grif:...Are there mission requirements? Sheepy: Holmes: Berserkers work well until the enemy is a Foreigner. Sheepy: Holmes:...Unfortunately, there are only four Foreigners that I can think of... Sheepy: Grif: I do not understand the relevance of this. We can threaten Arryn until we get answers. Arsé-kun: Mori: That man has at least one Servant. It may not be worth the risk. Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Lupin. Tell us your secrets. Arsé-kun: Lupin: Wh-why me?! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: *Lupin is across the room.* Sheepy: Grif: You say you are Kidd's dad. Arryn is clearly related to Kidd. So you must have possessed him like Fantomas. Sheepy: Grif: So wouldn't you know how to get Fantomas out? Arsé-kun: Lupin: For all of an hour! And I left willingly- I wouldn't know how to force it! Sheepy: Grif: ...!? Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: I should have tried to understand better... Even Sir Bedivere did better than me...they just appeared on his doorstep, no ritual or anything... Sheepy: Grif:...But how did you possess Arryn? Anything can help.* Arsé-kun: Lupin: ..... ...... *he pauses and just thinks* Arsé-kun: Lupin: I only recall being temporarily summoned in a human body, aka Arryn's, but the process is well beyond me at the moment. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? You weren't with your son when he was born either? Sheepy: Satoru: You have great potential to be friends with Eiji. Sheepy: Holmes: He neved said he was desummoned entirely after that... Arsé-kun: Lupin: .... *he narrows his eyes at Satoru* I was present, thank you. Just not inside of a living human. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. You're a good dad then. Sheepy: Satoru: Hopefully his mom was present too. It was the day of my birth. Both of my parents failed to show up. Arsé-kun: Lupin: All right, settle down, Doofenshmitz Jr. Sheepy: Satoru: All of the evil masterminds have parent issues. Arsé-kun: Lupin: ... I don't know, Darth Vader wasn't too bad off at first. Sheepy: Satoru: I know who that is. Sheepy: Satoru: He's the roboman. Arsé-kun: Lupin: ... *he sighs and looks to Griflet* Sir Griflet. I have an optional side-quest for you. Sheepy: Grif: >YES Arsé-kun: *Lupin nabs a piece of paper and writes something down before handing it over* Sheepy: Grif:....! Sheepy: Grif:?!?!?!?! Arsé-kun: Lupin: The reward will not change based on your time. Godspeed. Sheepy: Grif: B-but... My wife said... Sheepy: Grif:...But...the reward... Sheepy: Grif:..........Wife.....apple.... Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif: >YES Arsé-kun: Lupin: It will not change what was said by her, either. It is more an explanation. But thank you for accepting. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST 326: AW BABY THAT'S A LOT OF APPLES!] recorded. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Lupin: Please stop naming quests like that. Sheepy: Grif: I did not name it. Arsé-kun: *Very distant mystery kouhai laughter. The quest log is laughing. Lovely. And it's a cute girl!* Sheepy: Satoru: Is there something funny? Should I laugh too? Sheepy: Satoru: But Lupin is here. I can't seem robotic to Lupin. He's cool. Sheepy: Holmes: That train has probably come and passed... Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Do you hate me then, Lupin? I was going to name you Uncle Lupin but if you hate me I won't bother you with that. Arsé-kun: Lupin: I haven't even said anything of the sort. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay Sheepy: Satoru: So that's what I'll call you. Okay? Arsé-kun: Lupin: That's fine with me. Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Holmes] Is there anywhere in this building I can stop existing for a couple of hours? It's been A Day Of Some Kind. Before I start a lovely imitation of Sir Kay that I like to call "I was going to drown my sorrows, but they swim better than I do". Sheepy: Holmes: [text: to Lupin] My rooom. Lobo won't enter it. Satoru might but he's easy to get rid of. Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Holmes] <3 Arsé-kun: *Lupin exits scene before Grif can re-recruit him for quests* Sheepy: Satoru:...Oh... Arsé-kun: Mori: ... And when you leave, Sir Knight, please do not make another new door. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: Why not? Arsé-kun: Mori: Because we have to prevent the one who fixes it from trying to kill you. Sheepy: Grif: I see Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Mori: Of course. Good luck on your missions. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. *he leaves* Arsé-kun: Lupin: ..... *he re-enters scene once Griflet is gone* ... I was going to speak up, but. Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Holmes] I have been banned from verbally mentioning the Avenger cleaning your room. Sheepy: Holmes: [text: to Lupin] I'll thank him later. Thanks. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Can your son come back? I like him. He's my friend. Sheepy: Satoru: He listened to me talk about dinosaurs. Arsé-kun: Lupin: I can arrange for that, yes. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. That's good. Sheepy: Satoru: I don't remember his name. But that's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I'll call him Lupin III II. Sheepy: Satoru: Unless you know his name. Arsé-kun: Lupin: I'm... Sure he would rather be called James than anything else. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: But... Sheepy: Satoru: *he looks at Mori* ..... Sheepy: Satoru: He doesn't look like Grandpa... Sheepy: Satoru:...so how can he be a James...? Arsé-kun: Mori: Because that's the name he was given. Simple as that. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Sheepy: Satoru: So our first birthday gift is our name? Arsé-kun: Mori: Technically, second. The first is living. Sheepy: Satoru: Wow. Sheepy: Satoru: So James's parents only gave him a five letter name for his birthday.. Sheepy: Satoru:....but I suppose it's more economical than going all out, such as getting a Ferrari. Sheepy: Satoru: Babies can't drive so that truly would be the epitome of careless spending. Arsé-kun: *In a different room, Angra is trying to fill the Grif-made hole with packing peanuts and glue. It's not going well, but he is Trying.* Sheepy: Emiya: ....... Sheepy: Emiya: That's making things worse. Arsé-kun: Angra: Ah. Yes. So it is! What did you expect from me? Sheepy: Emiya: Move. I’ll deal with it. Arsé-kun: *Angra pouts and moves, now he has no use for all these packing peanuts.* Sheepy: *Emiya begins fixing the hole* Arsé-kun: *Proto joins Angra to investigate the stuff Emiya was working on beforehand. It's all swords. What a nerd Emiya is. Angra makes sure to put his grubby little gremlin hands on all of them, while Proto seems to be looking for something. Proto is then disappointed.* Arsé-kun: *Proto tries to steal the chain from Moriarty's coffin. He has to activate Protection from Arrows to survive and ends up back at square one. Suffer* Arsé-kun: *Proto continues to get into shenanigans of some sort, with an unspecified goal in mind. The pupper is up to SOMETHING.* Arsé-kun: *The smallest pupper, Mini Cu, is also up to Shenangigans. These are called "Annoy Eiji in Small Amounts" and he keeps stealing paintbrushes. They are not weapons of mass destruction.* Sheepy: Eiji: D-did you want to paint? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I saw a pretty lady at Chaldea who fought with! *he swings a brush* Big paintybrush! I'm gonna draw a dinosaur. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm the dinosaur. Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, alright. I-I'd like to see it when...when you're done. Sheepy: Eiji: Um... Sheepy: Eiji:.... Sheepy: Eiji: B-but usually, um...paint, paint...paintbrushes aren't used f-for hurting people. Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu sets off to work with a canvas easily three times his size and some kids' watercolors. He already tripped on the canvas* Sheepy: Eiji: D-do you need help...? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: No! ... I need Assistance! Sheepy: Eiji: Okay. H-how can I assist you? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I need an... Easter! ... Eiffel. .... I need a dictionary. Sheepy: Eiji: Easel? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: That's the thing! Arsé-kun: *Once the canvas is upright, Mini Cu makes "Art"! He paints an unspecified type of black dinosaur (helpfully labeled "Me!") screaming into the void. There is a corner sun and it is frowning.* Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: And the sun is afraid of me! Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, wonderful! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Oh, I gotta sign it! *He carefully considers where he can sign it, before just chomping on the side of the canvas, leaving a little cookie cutter bite mark* Authentic Mini Crunch! Sheepy: Eiji: Oh! That's a-an important step! Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I did an art! Sheepy: Eiji: Y-yes, you did! It's great! Sheepy: Eiji: D-did you want to paint anything else? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I can do another?? Sheepy: Eiji: Yes. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: :O Sheepy: *Eiji gives him another piece of paper or whatever one paints on to paint on* Sheepy: Tristan: I too paint on occasion. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...but not with paint. Sheepy: Tristan: With my words. A picture paints a thousand words, and a thousand words paint a picture. Such is life. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: If you cry on my watercolor paint, will it make it better? Sheepy: Tristan: No. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: weh Sheepy: Tristan: However. Sheepy: Tristan: I can teach you how to cry. Be the change you wish to see. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I know how to cry! Just have onions thrown at your face until you want to punch a baby! Sheepy: Tristan: Hm?.... Sheepy: Tristan: Onions? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: It probably hurts! And I'm baby. Sheepy: Tristan: Where I might find these onions? Sheepy: Tristan: It is important. Sheepy: Tristan: Crying is the first step to feeling better. Sheepy: Tristan: So, I will put these onions in my good friend's face to make him cry. Then he will feel better. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Onwards! *he holds the paintbrush up like a sword (again) and leads Tristan to the fridge* Open it, big man! Sheepy: *Tristan opens the fridge* Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu climbs in and digs around for the onions. He ends up half stuck in a vegetable drawer but he has the onion!!* Sheepy: *Tristan takes Mini Cu out of the fridge* Sheepy: Tristan: This onion. It feels like a plush toy. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm holding it! You're holding me! Sheepy: Tristan: I see. May have this onion? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: You may have the onion! Sheepy: *Tristan takes the onion and puts Mini Cu down* Sheepy: Tristan:...Now then. Sheepy: Tristan: Behold. Sheepy: Tristan: *he clears his throat* Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, how sad! How sad! Truly, this is the worst! If only my friend, Sir Lancelot, were here! Arsé-kun: *Lance "OUGHHHHHH"s from somewhere. Well, he's in the building!* Sheepy: Tristan: Ah, how sad! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, oh! How sad! Sheepy: Tristan:.... Sheepy: *Tristan uses Failnaught to cut the onion. He puts the onion stuff on his hands before using Failnaught to track down Lance* Arsé-kun: *Mini Cu steals some onion chunk. For what, I don't know.* Sheepy: *scary* Arsé-kun: *Lance is cleaning weapons on the floor of his room. He hears Tristan enter, and tilts his head.* Arsé-kun: Lance: Ah? Sheepy: Tristan: Ahh...my friend, how sad this is! *he rushes to Lance and dramatically attempts to fall into his arms* Arsé-kun: *Lance has to very quickly push a sword off his lap so Tristan isn't impaled on landing. Landing on armor still hurts though* Sheepy: Tristan: Ah, how sad! Sheepy: *Tristan...is crying from the impact...* Sheepy: Tristan: *he gently places his hand on lancelot’s face* Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... Whhhhy? Sheepy: Tristan: I am very sad, you see. Sheepy: Tristan: I am much happier being here. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... *he rubs an eye. Pauses. Rubs it again.* Sheepy: Tristan: .... Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... *and the scent has finally hit.* ... Whhhhyyy?? Sheepy: Tristan: You see... Sheepy: Tristan: ...I was cutting an onion. Sheepy: Tristan: ...And got it in my eye. Arsé-kun: Lance: Aughhhh. *he takes a clean rag and rubs his eye again* Annndd... You sprrrread it?? Sheepy: Tristan: I must have forgotten to wash my hands when I was considering who I wished to see in my final moments. Sheepy: Tristan: ...Ahaha, you see... Sheepy: Tristan: ... Really, in actuality, I was hoping to make you cry so you would let your feelings out and be happy once more. Sheepy: Tristan: However, I am willing to put onion in my eyes for you! Arsé-kun: Lance: *he squeezes the affected eye shut and glares at Tristan* It burrrr-rrrns, Trristan! Sheepy: Tristan: If you cry you’ll feel better. Sheepy: Tristan: ... However, I am willing to put it in my own eyes as punishment for my wicked deeds. Arsé-kun: Lance: Ngh... *he shoves Tristan off and Honestly Considers pinning Tristan's hands to the floor so he can't do anything stupid* Sheepy: Tristan: Ohh... how sad, how sad! My best friend has rejected me, tossed me aside! Sheepy: Tristan: And so... I know what I must do! Arsé-kun: *Lance is trying not to cry out of Pure Spite. He is incredibly bitter and his eye burns, a lot.* Sheepy: Tristan: Once more I must blind myself to the beauties of the world! That is the only punishment I am deserving of! Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... *he picks up a flail and takes the spiky ball off, before smacking Tristan with the chain.* Punishment givennnnnn. Shhhhhut up. Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, how sad! Sheepy: Tristan: I think hard to figure out how to make my friend feel better... Hm? Hm... Sheepy: Tristan: Saber you seems sad as well... Perhaps this onion effect on my hands will last long enough for me to... Sheepy: Tristan: Hmhm... Arsé-kun: Lance: Shhhhhhhhhhut uppp. Sheepy: Tristan: Do you hate me now? Arsé-kun: Lance: Nnnnn.... Huurrrrrts! Sheepy: Tristan: Cry and you will feel better. Sheepy: Tristan: ....Unless... I must take out my big guns... Sheepy: Tristan: ... Sheepy: Tristan: You push my hand, my friend. Sheepy: Tristan: If, if it will make you feel better... For one day... I will... Sheepy: Tristan: Disappear! An incredibly sad magic trick. Yes, many will miss my beautiful face, but I must bother you often. How sad! Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Teach me firrrst. Sheepy: Tristan: What? Arsé-kun: Lance: How do I? Disappear me firssst! Sheepy: Tristan: Ah... Sheepy: Tristan: No... Sheepy: Tristan: I cannot. Sheepy: Tristan: I apologize, but... you see... Sheepy: Tristan: I would simply run away from home, as I always do. Sheepy: Tristan: Of course, with no comments not insults about the king’s heart this time. Sheepy: Tristan: .... Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Wanna.... Uh. Blow stand, get air? Sheepy: Tristan: Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: How are your eyes? Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Wash your hands. Sheepy: Tristan: Hmm...But... Sheepy: Tristan: Before I do....I must... Sheepy: Tristan: *he begins to put his hands up to his eyes* Arsé-kun: *Lance slaps his hands down and bearhugs him. no. banned. forever.* Sheepy: Tristan:?!?! Arsé-kun: Lance: We're going. *and he just. gets up with Tristan and fully intends to drag him into the nearest room with a sink* Sheepy: *Tristan is visibly pleased!* Arsé-kun: *THAT is a christmas miracle in itself* Arsé-kun: *in the bg, Proto fleeing from Medusa with her chain dagger things. This pupper has learned Crime* Sheepy: Lobo: *he's following Proto, carrying a squeaky toy in his mouth* Arsé-kun: *Proto has an Epiphany and changes his course. Down the stairs, around, back upstairs, gotta get back to the starting point and then some.* Sheepy: *Lobo follows him.* Arsé-kun: Proto: Hero Gilgamesh, I require your chains! *he ain't too proud to suck up. It doesn't feel good, but when it's required...* So we do not have a repeat of the last time a wolf decided a king WAS fit for a meal! Arsé-kun: Proto: And I don't mean the Wolf King! Sheepy: Gil: Fine, fine! Sheepy: Gil: I see your logic. Sheepy: Lobo: *squeak squeak* Sheepy: Gil: I will assist you just this once. Sheepy: Gil: Come up with an idea that doesn't involve me in the future. Arsé-kun: Proto: Y-yes sir, sorry sir, it was a last resort! Sheepy: Gil: Hah. Do better next time, Mutt! But for now, be grateful I help you! Sheepy: Lobo: *squeak* Sheepy: *Gil gives Proto Cu a chain.* Sheepy: Gil: Is that all? Arsé-kun: Proto: Yessir, I'll leave you right alone now! Arsé-kun: *Proto leaves. He makes a few gagging noises after he gets out of earshot to get rid of the taste of sucking dICK* Arsé-kun: Angra: ---And the Berserker went out, so look at this giant knife I found! *he's got Lancelot's sword* How many loaves of bread could this baby cut at once?? Sheepy: Satoru: It depends. If you stack them you'll cut more. Sheepy: Satoru: Like a bread tower. Sheepy: Emiya: Don't use that for bread. Arsé-kun: Angra: So use it for watermelon, got it! Sheepy: Emiya: Don't waste food. Sheepy: Satoru: If I could have any food... Sheepy: Satoru: No. It must stay a secret. No one will ever know. Sheepy: Emiya: I can cook it for you most likely. Sheepy: Satoru: Incredible. Momiya can read minds... Sheepy: Emiya: Knock that off. Who taught you that name? Sheepy: Satoru: No one will ever know. Arsé-kun: Andersen: *he opens and sticks his head out of a cabinet* if you're cooking, make me a grilled cheese, thanks Archer-mom *and he closes the cabinet again. classy* Sheepy: Emiya: *he huffs* I wasn't... Arsé-kun: Andersen: *he reappears* then skip the grilling Sheepy: Emiya: Fine. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Thanks, I'll write you as a protagonist in the next novel, I'm 30 chapters deep into this tale and I am not stopping now Sheepy: Satoru: Have you ever been a protagonist, Andersen? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Hell no. I'm the antagonist if anything. Arsé-kun: *Making food has been discussed, summoning Minako from wherever she was. Probably not far. Andersen retreats into the cabinet to avoid speaking more.* Arsé-kun: *Mink just fingerguns while sock-sliding in. The food hole is here.* Arsé-kun: Minako: Archer, you see the dog anywhere? *She is... Actually not here for food. Shocker!!* He's gotta go out for the night! Sheepy: Emiya: No. Arsé-kun: Minako: That's not great, hoooo-boy. *She notices the swords* Are any of these silvered? You know why. Sheepy: Emiya: Let me check. Arsé-kun: Angra: *he puts the sword he was dicking around with back on the table* What we need silver for? Fairies? We gonna punch a man-eating fairy? Sheepy: Emiya: Werewolves. Arsé-kun: Angra: Sick! Lets punch a furry convention! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't know. Sometimes the woods. Sometimes the plains. Arsé-kun: Minako: Satoru, you know about it! I'm just not being direct because I was asked not to, in case Caster or Alter pups hear. Arsé-kun: Minako: ... Arsé-kun: Minako: ... Yeah I have no idea where Proto is, and it's hella late. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Werewolves don't like... Sheepy: Satoru:...No, no one will ever know. Sheepy: Satoru: It's a secret because Lobo is shy about it. Arsé-kun: Angra: Y'all've lost me. We have a furry? Or are you just sayin' that to be funny-- *he stops short and perks up* Ooooh-hoo, someone's suffering real damn bad! You're not joking, huh?? Arsé-kun: Minako: No, not at all! Can you at least tell me wh- Arsé-kun: *From the deepest bowels of the building, an agonized scream rings out. It is not a Berserker. It is not Lobo, despite the similarity. The howling that comes after is also not Lobo. The werewolf is out-- And it's inside the house.* Arsé-kun: Minako: NEVER MIND, THAT'S A PROBLEM! Sheepy: Satoru: Awuuu. Sheepy: Emiya: We don't have anywhere to hide. Arsé-kun: Minako: We REALLY don't! Take Satoru to the other side, tell them to barricade! I'll get Herc! Sheepy: Emiya: Right. Sheepy: Satoru: I see. Emiya is an Assassin. He's going to take me out to the other side. Okay. Make it swift and painless. Arsé-kun: Angra: Me next, me next! Sheepy: *Emiya ignores this and picks Satoru up. He heads for the other side!* Arsé-kun: Angra: uh. wait, are we serious? *He thinks about this situation* Wait, I can't fight another servant! Wait for me!! *he runs off after Emiya* Sheepy: Emiya: Hello? Sheepy: Satoru: If a werewolf bites a dog, does it become a werehuman? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Down here! *the basement is Open and all of it's lights are on for once* Chat after! Sheepy: *Emiya goes down to the basement with Satoru* Sheepy: Satoru: Will Lobo become half wolf half man? Arsé-kun: Angra: Human Lobo would hate his existence! Sheepy: Satoru: I would feel bad for him. Arsé-kun: *And crowded in the basement is, well, everybody that's home. Speed meeting.* Sheepy: Emiya: We need to barricade the area. Arsé-kun: Acu: For what...? *he was woken up for this shit* A dog? Just shoot it out back. Sheepy: Emiya: Werewolf. Sheepy: Satoru: Like old yeller? Arsé-kun: Acu: All this for one werewolf..? Stupid. Sheepy: Emiya: You can feel that way as you please. I don't care. Sheepy: Emiya: Master is getting Berserker. Who are we missing? Arsé-kun: Saku: Ozymandias is still in his room, but he's in his sarcophagus. Tristan went out with Lancelot half an hour ago. Sheepy: Emiya: Good. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Caster Cu is at work tonight, luckily. He wouldn't like this much. Sheepy: Emiya: Right. Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Merlin is okay again. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Depends on the definition of "okay"! Sheepy: Satoru: Dracula can control wolves so maybe Dad could control a werewolf. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Vlad: I highly doubt it. With the concept of vampires and werewolves being enemies, one of us would get steamrolled. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I like vampires more because of you. Arsé-kun: Angra: So lemme get this straight! Or gay, whatever, doesn't matter! Puppy lancer is a no-bullshit werewolf?? And nobody thought "Hey, that's important information!" Sheepy: Yan: Yeah. Guess so. Arsé-kun: Acu: he what Sheepy: Yan: You were talking trash and you didn't even know? Amazing. Arsé-kun: Angra: I didn't know it was LITERAL! I thought all the wolf comments were just because he's the guard dog! Sheepy: Yan: Didn't mean you, but alright. Sheepy: Satoru: Lobo is a guard dog too. Arsé-kun: *Alter Cu is making complex abstractions* Arsé-kun: Angra: I meant... Aw, forget it! If I knew this info before, I sure as hell forgot! Arsé-kun: Mori: May I interrupt? What, exactly, are we barricading with that a berserk lycanthrope can't break through? Sheepy: Emiya: I was told to tell you this information. No how to accomplish it. Sheepy: Emiya: I can strengthen materials as needed. Sheepy: Satoru: Vacuum cleaners. Sheepy: Bedi: If worst comes to worst, what matters most is for us to protect our Masters. So if need be, we will be the barricade. Sheepy: Yan: Hmhm...barricade of meat shields? Oh, we could use bait! Who here is faster than a werewolf? Not it! Arsé-kun: Angra: I can be faster! But only for about fifteen seconds, and then I'll be dead on the side of the road! Arsé-kun: Vlad: I would rather suggest those of us able to fight for longer periods of time. Battle continuation and whatnot. Sheepy: Cu: That means me, other me... Sheepy: Cu:... Sheepy: Cu:....That it? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Myself. Sheepy: Satoru: But... Arsé-kun: Vlad: I, at least, will certainly survive. Worst comes to worst, I grab a rat from the raccoon man's grunge and use it as a capri-sun. Sheepy: Izou: Eh? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Oh, have you accepted that as a valid name, Okada? I'll keep that in mind. Sheepy: Izou: What? Sheepy: Izou: That ain't it! It's 'cause people keep callin' me that! Arsé-kun: Angra: I kinda have a continuation? But I'm gonna off myself anyway, so what good is it?? Sheepy: Satoru: Umm... Sheepy: Satoru: If he's stuck in the house, we could just leave. Arsé-kun: Mori: You bring up a valid point, but we'd prefer to not sit outside for several hours, mid-winter. Sheepy: Satoru: That's what hotels are for. Sheepy: Satoru: If we're lucky we can recreate Hotel Transylvania and solve things through dancing. I haven't watched it but that's the vibe I get. Sheepy: Satoru: We already have one of the four vital Universal monsters to recreate the movie. Proto can fill in for the wolfman. We now just need a Frankenstein's monstsr and a mummy to complete the Hotel Transylvania cast. I think. Sheepy: Satoru: Nothing could possibly go wrong at a hotel. Motels are another story. Just don't use the shower and avoid anyone named Bates. Sheepy: Izou: Oi, you tell me to shower and now you tell me not to? What a pain! Figure out what you want from me! Arsé-kun: Mori: He was not being literal. Sheepy: Izou: What?! Use littler words so I know what yer talkin' about, alright? You smart people and your literals and figure-ateives! Arsé-kun: Mori: It wasn't a serious statement. Sheepy: Izou: Oh, yeah, use bigger words, huh! At least they're ones I know this time. Hah! Arsé-kun: Mephi: Was joke! That simple enough? Sheepy: Izou: I got it before you simplified it! Arsé-kun: Mephi: Good to know! Sheepy: Izou: Yeah, I bet it is! Hahahaha! Sheepy: Satoru:......?....... Sheepy: Satoru: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha? Sheepy: Satoru:...There is much to learn about humor... Arsé-kun: Mephi: Hey, how do you get to psycho's front door? *he's grinning. oh no. he doesn't wait for an answer* Through the Bates~ Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *The Clown experiences Disappointment* Sheepy: Satoru: Where is the gate so I can go to your front door? Arsé-kun: Mephi: !! *he rolls over to face Satoru* That's a fantastic question, actually! Sheepy: Satoru: Have you not decided yet? Arsé-kun: Mephi: Wait, you've been to my old house! It used to have a gate, but not anymore I guess! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... *he just sighs and starts to leave. Standing here is Not Making Progress* Sheepy: Satoru: If we work hard we can build a new one. But only after the puppy is gone. Okay? Arsé-kun: Mephi: Only if the old man will allow me on the property! Sheepy: Satoru: You darned kid. Sheepy: Satoru: Get off of my lawn. Arsé-kun: Acu: ... I'm going. Either to commit a murder or solve a problem. I'll decide on the way there. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Have fun. Don't fall in. Arsé-kun: *Acu just squints before leaving* Sheepy: Satoru: He's very brave. Arsé-kun: *the door opens a second time, and a whole bunch of nobody comes in. spooky! hi Jack.* Arsé-kun: Jack: Can you asshats bring out maybe more than just the spiked dinosaur looking bastard?? I got a status report because Lobo can't and Rider doesn't say shit! Arsé-kun: *less spooky.* Arsé-kun: Jack: The author's dead on the floor, Berserker's died twice! *he is, understandably, peeved. this is a severe understatement.* The Sun King is a useless bastard, and I damn well know there's more people upstairs that aren't doing fuck all! Sheepy: Satoru: How is Minako? Arsé-kun: Jack: Only alive due to Lobo understanding the events and keeping close to her. I wasn't in the mood to clean young woman remains this evening anyway! Sheepy: Satoru: Good. Sheepy: Satoru: I'll give him a treat later. Arsé-kun: Liz: Hey, doggie! *she latches onto Cu's arm. Gross. How unfortunate.* C'mon, c'mon, lets go! Sheepy: Cu: What? Ugh! Fine! Arsé-kun: Vlad: Now... Does anyone else have a way to survive, or shall it just be us? Sheepy: Bedi: I have defensive skills. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I would normally be of use, but I would likely end up targeting the wrong servant. Sheepy: Bedi: It is important that one of us stays with Master Eiji. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll stay put. You're a Saber, so you should be fine. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Sheepy: Guin: I can help. Arsé-kun: Vlad: That would be appreciated. It's been a while since you've seen real combat, after all. Sheepy: Guin: Right. Sheepy: Guin:...Unfortunately, my skills seem to be oriented towards...well... Arsé-kun: Vlad: Tell me about it. Sheepy: Guin: Making others die in my place? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Then simply don't use them. Sheepy: Guin: Right. Sheepy: Bedi: Of course I wouldn't mind you using it on me if need be. Sheepy: Yan: Eheh, you're using my meat shield idea, huh? Aren't you funny! Arsé-kun: Angra: I'll volunteer to be a meat shield! It won't do much! Sheepy: Bedi:...Although I suppose Merlin would not be too happy with this... Sheepy: Bedi:...Oh, but Angra...do you have any means of protection? Arsé-kun: Angra: I've got one debuff and one guts! Sheepy: Bedi: Good. Sheepy: Cu: Like he'd accept 'em. Sheepy: Satoru: But you did when I gave one to you. You ate it. Your expression was indescribable. Sheepy: Cu: Oi! It ain't like I want to- *he inhales sharply* Only dogs like those treats, Master. That's why they're called DOG treats! So don't give 'em to people! Sheepy: Satoru: *stare* Sheepy: Izou: Those bone like things I found? I ate a few before that big dog attacked me. Arsé-kun: Vlad: Please do not eat Lobo's bones. Now, may we please go on? Sheepy: Cu: Right, right. Sheepy: Izou: Those are his real bones?! That explains the taste! Arsé-kun: Vlad: .... Forget it. Sheepy: Satoru: I believe in all of you to make it back alive. Except Cu. Okay? Sheepy: Cu: OI! THAT'S CRUEL! Arsé-kun: *Team Battle Continuation heads out to Suppress the Threat* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... ... So y'know how human babies can't hold their heads up, but colts can run hours after birth? Do you think centaur babies flop around like a fish? Sheepy: Satoru: No. No. Sheepy: Satoru: Centaurs aren't born. Sheepy: Satoru: They're made. Sheepy: Satoru: They're like Frankenstein's monster. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is he really a monster, though? Sheepy: Satoru: Monster's man. Arsé-kun: Mozart: and it was the monster's mash, Sheepy: Satoru: Like Hotel Transylvania. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Which was a graveyard smash! Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Sheepy: Satoru: I never watched it. Arsé-kun: Mozart: It was a nice film. Perhaps we can watch it tomorrow evening. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...Hm? Sheepy: Satoru: If you were to fly through the air would your flowers grow in the air or on the ground directly under your feet? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fantastic question! Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: So? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If I'm only a few inches off the ground, they'll be on the ground. Otherwise? There'll just be a rain of flowers from above! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: When I get married you can be my levitating priest. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But can I show up ominously T-posing and floating through the air with absolutely no explanation? Sheepy: Satoru: So then you could spread flowers everywhere. Then my spouse can be allergic to pollen and I collect on life insurance. I saw such things on a show once. Sheepy: Satoru: You can do that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Pollen usually isn't lethal, you'd probably want the Hanging Gardens for th-- Wait, that's still murder! Sheepy: Satoru: Life insurance is when you insure your life. So when you sneeze from a pollen allergy you can collect on life insurance. Sheepy: Satoru: Because now your life is hard, just briefly. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: If it worked that way, they'd be out of business. Sheepy: Satoru: What? Sheepy: Satoru: Then what is life insurance for? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: When you stop having life. Sheepy: Satoru: I see...When will I get my life insurance? Arsé-kun: Mori: When you can do your own taxes. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Arsé-kun: Mori: Would I lie to you? Sheepy: Satoru: But I have no life outside of the home. So I should be able to collect on life insurance. Arsé-kun: Mori: That, too, is not how it works. If you die at a job, surviving family is given money. No, it does not apply to servants. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Sheepy: Satoru: So then... Sheepy: Satoru:....I see... Arsé-kun: Mori: You need to know the law before you can work around it, Mastermind jr. Sheepy: Satoru: They didn't get a pollen allergy...Uncle Bedi lied to me... Sheepy: Satoru: The man murdered his spouse for life insurance... Sheepy: Satoru:...Is that why he turned the tv off, I wonder.. Arsé-kun: Mori: Oh, most likely. Arsé-kun: *You might be wondering, meanwhile, why Proto Werewolf requires so many servants to fight. The answer is because he is now classified as a Boss. Have you SEEN fgo boss hp?!* Sheepy: Satoru:...I was wondering how someone could get a pollen allergy from peanuts. Sheepy: Satoru: They grow from trees. Sheepy: Eiji: T-trees can have p...pollen. And flowers... Sheepy: Satoru: Merlin is part tree? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hell no. That did almost happen once! ... *he thinks about this* So anyway, someone absolutely just died upstairs! Sheepy: Satoru: Whom? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, just the angry mango. That won't be the only time, I bet. Sheepy: Satoru: That's okay. Sheepy: Satoru: He's working hard. Arsé-kun: Merlin: On the plus side, Vlad won't need to go out for dinner for a week straight. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Cons, they're gonna need mad cleaning. Sheepy: Emiya: I suppose I constitute for that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, no, you do so much already. They can do it themselves. Sheepy: Emiya: Hmm...I like the sound of that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And now, an update from upstairs, due to my clairvoyance working better than my actual eyes! ... Four deaths, one excluded due to Heracles being... Heracles. No spirit origin damage. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru:... Sheepy: Satoru: What's a Spirit Origin? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: What keeps we servants alive. It's located in our heads, and our hearts. I can't speak for Merlin, but the rest of us have them. Sheepy: Satoru:...... Sheepy: Satoru:.......... Sheepy: Satoru: Eh, but... Sheepy: Satoru: Rider... Arsé-kun: Jekyll: He is a very strange case. He may be connected to Lobo's origin directly. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... "Strange case", ey, Dr. Jekyll? Arsé-kun: Jekyll: ... ... *he frowns* You stop that. Sheepy: Satoru: Was it a joke? Sheepy: Satoru: I understand. Sheepy: Satoru:......... Sheepy: Satoru: Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: I realize in hindsight how ironic it is for me of all people to say it. *he seems embarrassed* Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I understand the irony. I don't know how I'm supposed to react to it. Arsé-kun: Jekyll: How you did was presumably fine? Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Important update: Five deaths. It's not going so hot up there. Sheepy: Satoru: What can we do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Send backup? But that can go a number of wa-Oh, six. One of the Cus just went down. It is going in A Way. Sheepy: Satoru: We get rid of the moon. Then we won't have a werewolf. Arsé-kun: Mori: There is an entire movie dedicated to why that is a bad idea. Arsé-kun: Merlin: More than half of our side has gone down. I heavily advise we get involved and soon! Sheepy: Satoru: How? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, that certainly depends! What would we like to do? Sheepy: Satoru: Umm.. Sheepy: Satoru: Am I being graded on this? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a bit too important to bother on something like that. Sheepy: Satoru: *he looks to Mori* Sheepy: Satoru: Grades matter not in this world. Arsé-kun: Mori: Is this truly the time for that? Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Uh. We take a sun related Servant to counter a werewolf. Summon the sun. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So fetch Ozymandias from his sarcophagus? That may work. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Ah, but he may crash his pyramids straight into us. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Arsé-kun: *Dantes enters scene, trailing a bit of blood (that isn't his) behind him and making the stairs #VampireAesthetic. He had zero issues passing through the battlefield, apparently.* Arsé-kun: Dantes: So this is where you're all waiting? Arsé-kun: *Dantes hums and places a sheathed knife at Eiji's feet. He will not address this.* Arsé-kun: Dantes: The beast has killed one of your servants, and has set sights on a second. And you will allow this to pass? Sheepy: Eiji:! No! Arsé-kun: Dantes: Get vengeance! Sheepy: Eiji:....*he looks to the knife* Ah- this is... Arsé-kun: Dantes: Silver. You understand! Sheepy: Eiji:...*he picks it up!* Arsé-kun: Dantes: The rest of us may have to wait and hope, but you do not! Sheepy: Eiji: *..and rushes out!* Arsé-kun: *Dantes smugly smugs a smug smirk. Smuggu. He's gonna go watch his created nuke.* Sheepy: *Eiji is coming for you, Proto! You've done it now! You've unlocked Angry Eiji!* Arsé-kun: *Proto hears angry footsteps, but is too occupied with trying to damage Heracles. God Hand OP, plz nerf* Sheepy: *Eiji attempts to backstab Proto with the silver knife!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 15 Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 8 Arsé-kun: *Proto becomes aware of his presence JUST in time, and gets the hell out of the way before snarling angrily and trying to ram Eiji. He only misses because Dantes pulls Eiji out of the way.* Sheepy: *Eiji doesn't seem to care too much about this! Because he's mad. Local man doesn't think when he gets mad.* Arsé-kun: *Vlad sees this, and is just now awkwardly watching while using Angra as a free bloodbag. He wisely gets out of the way.* Sheepy: *Something smacks the back of Proto's head!* Arsé-kun: *Proto whips around, still snarling, whO DARES, HE'LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS-* Sheepy: *...It's a really big plant! Eiji uses this window of opportunity to attempt another backstab!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 16 Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 12 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Arsé-kun: *Eiji misses again, but that's nothing compared to Dantes slipping on all the goddamn blood and landing on his ass. Do not address this, he WILL maim you.* Sheepy: Eiji: *That's too bad! What if he just acted out of pure aggression and attempted again?* Arsé-kun: *It goes about as well as you expect. Proto is going to rip his arm off at this rate. Please don't miss again.* Sheepy: *...Once more with feeling!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 6 Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 10 Sheepy: *Eiji finally manages to slash Proto with the silver knife!* Arsé-kun: *Proto SCREAMS and backs off, flinging the closest thing at Eiji- It's Hans. Proto misses entirely. Hans does not look impressed.- and fleeing the scene entirely.* Arsé-kun: *You drove it away! Good job, Eiji!!!* Sheepy: Eiji:... ... ?! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...I-I didn't hit it well, well enough. Arsé-kun: Minako: *she peeks out from behind Lobo* You made him retreat..? Sheepy: Eiji:....Uh...but... ... Sheepy: Eiji: Wh-what if it...comes, comes back? Arsé-kun: Minako: Just hope he doesn't! Sheepy: Lobo: *he examines Minako. everything ok?* Arsé-kun: Minako: I'm okay, thank you Lobo!! I'm gonna buy you so many steaks for christmas! Sheepy: Lobo:?! Sheepy: *Lobo looks excited! Arsé-kun: Vlad: That was certainly impressive, I will admit. Sheepy: Eiji: Ah, I... uh... Sheepy: Eiji: Y-you..."loosened it...it up for me"? Sheepy: *Lobo turns his attention to Dantes and licks him.* Arsé-kun: *Dantes looks disgusted. Oh god. Oh lord oh heaven. Disgusting. Wolf spit. (Contrary to popular belief, he is not actually disgusted.) He is revolted h* Sheepy: Lobo:? Arsé-kun: Vlad: If that is what you want to call it, I won't stop you. Sheepy: Eiji: B-but what's important is that we, um... Sheepy: Eiji:....revive everyone... Arsé-kun: Vlad: I am inclined to agree, despite my instincts saying otherwise. *he hasn't let go of Angra yet. poor dumbass* Perhaps before anyone else sees. Sheepy: Eiji: R-right...I can go get Merlin... Sheepy: Eiji: ...uh, the B-Berserker comes back...so he doesn't throw a fit. Arsé-kun: *Dantes is already gone. He is the Speed.* Arsé-kun: Minako: That is... A really good point, shit. Sheepy: Eiji: Oh....The Count left. Sheepy: Eiji: What do we do? Arsé-kun: Vlad: Get a mop, for starters. Sheepy: Lobo: *he scratches himself. that's not his job* Sheepy: Eiji: Right... Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'm sorry..Where are the mops? Sheepy: Eiji: I'll...I'll help... Arsé-kun: *Lumiere appears with two mops! Thank you Lumi!* Sheepy: Eiji: Oh...L...Lumi... Sheepy: Eiji: Thanks Sheepy: Lobo: *he sniffs at Lumi* Arsé-kun: *Lumi squeaks and pats Lobo's nose* Sheepy: Lobo: *he seems pleased!* Sheepy: *Eiji begins mopping.* Sheepy: Eiji: There's, there's two mops...so...s-someone else...could help me... Arsé-kun: Vlad: I happen to be standing, so I will. Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thank you. Arsé-kun: *Vlad joins Eiji. Both of Satoru's dads are now Cleaning. Angra is dumped on the floor like the trash man he is.* Sheepy: Lobo: *he lifts up Angra by his singular piece of clothing and attempts to throw him onto his back.* Sheepy: *...But instead throws him over his back and into a wall.* Sheepy: Lobo: *...and gets startled upon hearing the result of his inaccurate toss, jumping a bit. Elegant Avenger* Sheepy: Eiji: L-Lobo, no... Sheepy: Lobo: *snarl* Arsé-kun: Vlad: Oh, shush. Sheepy: Lobo: *whine* Arsé-kun: Vlad: Don't sass me, mister. Sheepy: Lobo: *bark, bark* Sheepy: *Tristan suddenly skates through on the blood, beautifully, elegantly, untouched by its crimson red* Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... ... We're too late. Sheepy: Tristan: Hello, everyone. Kind of you to create an ice skating rink so I may show off my beauty. Arsé-kun: Vlad: I am glad you are blind for this one, single occasion. Sheepy: Tristan: However, I am more interested in sleeping. How sad for you, but this must wait. Arsé-kun: Vlad: It would be most wise if you did. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes. Good night. My friend isn't as skilled as I am so please help him across if he needs help. Arsé-kun: Vlad: Yes, of course.. Sheepy: *Tristan goes to bed.* Sheepy: Eiji: Umm.. Arsé-kun: Vlad: We are absolutely and positively, pardon my language, fucked. Sheepy: Eiji: What if w-we distract him before he can reach it? Arsé-kun: Minako: I can give it a shot if I find him in time! C'mon, Lobo, lets go play fetch with Lancelot! Arsé-kun: *Minako runs after him. She can't keep up, but she can damn try!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets run over by a speeding wolf because he didn't look both ways before crossing the hall. Maybe he should have actually tried to restore his vision BEFORE going upstairs.* Arsé-kun: *He does eventually make it to the Blood Room, thankfully.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sheesh, I could smell this mess from the hall! How many are dead? Does it matter? Arsé-kun: *Merlin still casts his NP! It does nothing for the blood everywhere. A few flowers are growing in it. Gross.* Sheepy: Eiji: Oh... M-Merlin, you're here! Sheepy: Cu: Doesn't really. You've got an AOE heal anyway! Sheepy: Cu: Alter me, Avenger, Guinevere, eh... Sheepy: Cu: That Saber looks like he might as well be. Or wants to be. Sheepy: Cu: Hans was dead, I think. Berserker died twice. That make 6? Or 3? Sheepy: Eiji: Th-the beast is gone for now... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he frowns* That is a lot. I should have come and helped anyway. Sheepy: Cu: Yeah! Where were you, huh? Arsé-kun: *Merlin, for once, looks genuinely guilty. This is the legendarily rare event that comes once a year.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was downstairs. I did not think I could be of help if I was blind. Sheepy: Cu: That's your excuse, huh? ...Eh, whatever. What's done is done. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he glares in Cu's general direction* Sheepy: Cu: What? Sheepy: Cu: I accepted it. Isn't that enough? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Would you like to try and run support, blinded? I can help you. Sheepy: Cu: I'm more of a combat guy myself. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then please shut your trap. Good job on surviving, though. Sheepy: Cu: Hah. Arsé-kun: Vlad: for once Sheepy: Cu: Oi! Shaddup! Arsé-kun: Vlad: You'll have to make me, pup. Sheepy: Cu: I'LL TAKE YOUR HEART FOR MY OWN, OLD MAN!! Arsé-kun: Vlad: We can settle that outside once we have cleaned up. If you can find my heart, I'll be surprised. Sheepy: Cu: 'Course I can. Sheepy: Cu: So hurry up and get cleaning. Sheepy: Cu:...Now what, anyway? Arsé-kun: Vlad: We track down where that mutt went. We don't need this a second time. Sheepy: Cu: Right. We take him out, or what? Arsé-kun: Vlad: It would be wise. Sheepy: Cu: Let’s get going then! Arsé-kun: *Vlad stares at Cu for a moment, before wordlessly putting the mop down. He would much rather go werewolf hunting than clean.* Sheepy: Eiji: Th-the dagger could help... But it’s the Count's, not mine... Arsé-kun: Vlad: Given that it will be used for the intended purpose, I cannot see there being a problem with it. Arsé-kun: *Vlad retrieves the silver knife and takes Cu with him for some wolf hunting.* Sheepy: Eiji: *He continues mopping...* Arsé-kun: *With little to no witnesses, Dantes re-enters to assist.* Sheepy: Satoru: ...Poke. Poke. Poke. *he's poking a dead body...* Sheepy: Satoru: Don't nap on the floor. You're in the way. *poke, poke, poke* Sheepy: Eiji: Th-thanks for the help... Sheepy: Gil: ....*He groans* Enkidu...it's not...a school day-...?! Sheepy: Gil: *He smacks Satoru's hand away* Stop touching me with your grubby child fingers, Pup! Who knows where those things have been! Arsé-kun: Dantes: Good evening, King of Heroes. If you can spare the breath to speak, you can spare the breath to get out of the way. Sheepy: Gil: Hah! *He gets up* You dare tell me to move! Sheepy: Satoru: *he starts poking Gil again* Sheepy: Gil: What did I just say, Pup?! Sheepy: Gil: How dare you! Sheepy: Gil: How dare both of you...! Arsé-kun: Dantes: You rather lay in your own blood? I can arrange for it to be more permanent! Sheepy: Gil: Wuhahahaha! You make me laugh! You think you could even harm me? Sheepy: Satoru: I see...it was a joke. Sheepy: Satoru:..... Sheepy: Satoru: Ha. Ha. Ha. Sheepy: Gil: Try once more but put your heart and soul into it, Pup! That way, when the time comes, you will be prepared to laugh at my King of Heroes jokes! Sheepy: Satoru: No. Sheepy: Gil: Anyway, you make me laugh, Count! Arsé-kun: Dantes: It would be an insult if I repeated that statement in return. You have not earned that just yet. Sheepy: Gil: What?! How dare you...! Sheepy: Gil: I am leagues above you, mongrel! Sheepy: Satoru: No. Count is taller. Sheepy: Gil: Wh-what?! Shut your mouth, Pup! That's not what I was saying at all! How dare you twist the King of Heroes' words! Arsé-kun: Dantes: Kuahahahaha! I see, even the innocent are capable of committing a murder by words! Sheepy: Gil: No! Arsé-kun: Dantes: I understand now, it's true! What the rich may have in material wealth, they lack in comprehension and common sense! Sheepy: Satoru: But...you're rich... Arsé-kun: Dantes: Did I stutter? Sheepy: Satoru: That's Dad's job. Sheepy: Satoru:........ Arsé-kun: Dantes: That brings the total to two murders. Absolutely incredible. I am almost impressed with how easily you destroy men. Sheepy: Satoru: What? Who died? Arsé-kun: Dantes: ... ... Arsé-kun: Dantes: Well, these servants, for starters. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Mr. Plant killed them. Arsé-kun: Andersen: That's a weird name for a werewolf. Sheepy: Satoru: No. No. Look. Sheepy: *Satoru points to the plant* Sheepy: Satoru: It grew from their deaths. It's the mastermind behind the operation. Like brain fungus. Sheepy: Satoru: But Proto isn't an ant. Sheepy: Satoru: Hmm...maybe it's coincidental... Arsé-kun: *MERLIN'S BRAGGING MODE HAS BEEN ACTIVATED* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aaaaaaaaaactuallly, that's your Dad's magic at work! Talented, isn't he?? I never taught him that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Those with plant affinities grow together, and boy howdy do they persist! Sheepy: Satoru: What do you mean, grow together? Sheepy: Satoru: ...Ah, I get it...so Eiji is as old as you... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was trying to make a good-sounding metaphor. It didn't come out as well in English as I'd hoped... Wait, no! Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: I don't have any magic past the two things you've taught me. I never experimented. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Once my vision has returned, I'll gladly give you a new lesson. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Bedi can join too. He expressed interest but commented that he "has little talent with such things". Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wonderful and certainly! So could you ask one of the science geeks if they have any newt extract for me? That will speed things along. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru:.... Sheepy: Satoru:.........?! Sheepy: Satoru: I haven't seen any newts. Who has a newt? I want to touch it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I said--- Actually, I can't say that no one does. I don't know what we have. Sheepy: Satoru: You're like a dad. Sheepy: Satoru: You don't know where anything is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I cannot see. Sheepy: Satoru: Well, you see. Sheepy: Satoru: Dads in old television shows are very dumb. They always ask their wives where everything is. Sheepy: Satoru: They don't know where anything is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I don't see, I'm currently blind from seeing the face of God. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. That sounds like a you problem. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Correct!! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay.

#19 #fate goes au

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