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sarazanmai · 5 years

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Stuff I loved in 2018.

Its that time again. The end of a year and a look back on all the stuff I enjoyed. Honestly I almost wasn’t going to write this because I feel these posts are a lot of effort with very little reward, but there was a lot I experienced this year that I think was interesting and worth sharing. So let’s go.

Roger Ebert once said “artistry can redeem any subject matter”. While I’m not sure any subject matter can be salvaged through an artistic eye, it can certainly help. If someone approaches a certain material with a clear vision and purpose to what they do they can create something truly fascinating. The Monogatari series is a very strange one. Its told in a non chronological order, there’s characters who say they’re one thing and reveal themselves to be something else, there’s a lot of references to other anime, the visual style changes sometimes radically, its incredibly meta, some moments of fanservice have a deeper meaning to them while others not so much. Me personally I think the series goes through periods of being brilliant as well as periods where it just is not up to the same standard as before. That said I kind of like that, I like that you go through so many different moods and style shifts. Not everyone will like that, some will get frustrated with the weaker seasons, but for me I think it all comes together and really made for something I won’t forget. I watched the entire series within a week and then later in the year I rewatched it all barring “Koyomimonogatari” which is one of those weaker seasons in my opinion. Despite its bulk, despite its tendencies, the Monogatari series just kept me hooked.

There comes a time where we all must accept certain truths. One of them is a lot of you don’t really understand mecha. I still see all of these reviews and comments claiming that mecha before “Evangelion” were all just light fluffy Saturday morning cartoon fare with little substance. This could not be further from the truth. The Gundam franchise from the very beginning was serving what I am going to refer to as a human element. It was not this soulless creation who’s only goal was to sell model kits. Whether it was Amuro’s PTSD from piloting the Gundam or Kamille and his tragic romance with Four or Char’s true motives during the original series there was always more going on than just giant robots shooting things. This isn’t even taking into consideration other installments like “War in the Pocket” where its a story of war from the point of view of a child and soldier. I have not watched every Gundam anime, I am sure there are some that were just there to exist as another installment in the franchise and didn’t necessarily push the franchise or genre into new areas. But what I have seen in “Mobile Suit Gundam”, “Zeta Gundam” “War in the Pocket”, “Unicorn”, “Iron Blooded Orphans”, and even the polarizing “ZZ Gundam” which I admittedly dropped were all very interesting and very unique experiences. Tomino really hit on something when he created the series and now we’ve come so far that we have a franchise so massive and large it needs an entire wikipedia article devoted to its cultural impact.

Once again, mecha that came before “Evangelion” were still displaying that human element many critics are convinced wasn’t there. In “Macross” its very prominent to the point where it feels like a driving force to the entire show as well as its film “Do You Remember Love”. We spend as much time with the characters and their developing relationships as we do with the mecha battles. The emphasis on music and culture as something that can create a change in the world is one of the themes synonymous with the franchise. While there certainly were times in the show where it leaned a bit into a comical area, I didn’t mind this. It was a show aimed at a younger audience and was trying to communicate these themes on their level so at times things can be a bit silly, but I appreciate what is being said so much that it does not feel like an issue. The heart is still there, the human element is still there. And more complex and serious sub plots are there too. Regardless when it comes to the film “Do You Remember Love” and the OVA “Macross Plus” things were certainly approached with a more mature voice, bringing the franchise to new places. I watched this prior to any Gundam anime in an attempt to get a better feel for the mecha genre. I wanted to expand my tastes and I’m very happy I did because not only did I love this I also want to really explore the genre now more than ever.

With the release of “Lupin III Part 5″ this year I was really turned onto that franchise. I ended up getting this massive itch to explore it when that anime wrapped and while not everything I found was a masterpiece it was a worthwhile endeavor. There’s something to Lupin the character and the series at large that manages to be both fun while also evoking a sense of coolness in spite of his goofiness. It was interesting to go through the various TV series and the movies and some specials and get a sense for how its evolved through time. Rewatching “The Castle of Cagliostro” I really enjoyed it a lot and other installments like “The Fuma Conspiracy” and “The Hemingway Paper Mystery” were hugely entertaining. I really liked “Lupin III part 4″ and “The Woman Called Fujiko Mine” too and the original “Lupin III” anime. I can still hear that voice singing “Lupin...he’s a nice man...but he’s cool...”. And objectively speaking green jacket is best jacket. I feel like this is a series that has undergone so much evolution through the various people that came in to work on it that there’s bound to be something that appeals to somebody. You just have to find it.

I spent a lot of time ignoring “Gintama” and its a bit of a shame that I did because this is a really fun series. Despite how long it is I really didn’t feel like it took me a terribly long time to finish it. And even though its goal is more on the comedic side of things, the series surprised me with how strong of an emotional punch it can provide. The cast of characters is one of the most likeable and fun that I’ve seen in a while and the seiyuu cast was very impressive. Everyone plays their character well and I get the sense they really enjoy working on it. Akira Ishida in particular seemed to really get a kick out of playing someone as ridiculous as Katsura when so many of his other roles lean more serious. And of coarse everyone loves Tomokazu Sugita as Gin. His voice just feels so right for a character like this and it was great having him for something this big when in other anime I’ve seen him in he’s only around for so long. I’ve also got to give the series credit for its female characters. There’s a really sturdy amount and they’re all occupying their own place in this world with distinct identities. This is something that makes this world feel more alive and expansive. Kagura is a character I need to applaud for the fact that she wasn’t there for some sort of lolicon fanservice or to have a really awkward crush on Gin or Shinpachi. No she just cares about food and her dog. What a queen. Speaking of Shinpachi he was the MVP of this series, good boy. And there’s our Shinsengumi boys and of coarse Gin himself, so many great characters. I am sure a lot of people look at how much there is to “Gintama” and get nervous at the size of it, but there’s really no need to. When it clicks with you then there’s no putting it down.

“Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju” might be one of the greatest anime in recent years. It takes you through so many periods in this man’s life and the people around him and manages to hold you the entire way. Once again Akira Ishida is someone I need to give major credit to. He’s a very talented seiyuu and in this anime his performance was so impressive I was almost beside myself. Given the performance style the series is built around the cast all needed to be really great at reciting these stories and articulating them. And for the scenes where the characters are not on stage, when the interpersonal drama comes out, everything just hits in such a powerful way. I can’t remember how often I cried during this anime, but it never felt like I was being manipulated. It all felt as if it came through organically and easily. Even more subtle scenes like a character finding out he’s having a child hit on just the right emotions. If you are in the mood for a fantastic character driven drama this is absolutely one I’d recommend.

Speaking of character driven drama “Sangatsu no Lion” is another one to tune into. It initially presents itself as a very intense and dark story, but as the viewer stays involved you find that this is not about wallowing in self loathing but healing. The family that has taken this very troubled young man in and helped him navigate through his mental illness is so likeable and endearing. You find yourself wanting to see him get better and hope that these girls, as well as the other shogi players, find happiness for themselves too. Its not always simple though. There are ups and downs to the characters and their arcs, but it never feels bitter or angry. It feels like reality. Over the coarse of its two seasons it manages to do what so many other shows about a character with depression fail to do. It never feels exploitative or like it has no sense of how to handle such a topic nor does it feel hopeless. As difficult as things in Rei’s life can become you know deep down this isn’t the end of the line, things can get better. It also does a very good job at holding your attention whether you understand the intricacies of shogi or not. You’re told what feels like the essential basic rules to the game and you aren’t thrown into a state of culture shock if you’ve never looked into the game before. I feel like what we have here is a modern masterpiece and more people have been watching it and celebrating it as a great achievement and that makes me so happy.

“Galaxy Express 999″, pronounced “three nine” because why not, is quite the space opera. I watched every episode of the original TV series as well as the two films directed by Rintaro and while they have some flaws or areas that did not age well, they’ve remained famous for a reason. The TV series did a really great job at pulling at your emotions and showing you different worlds. Some felt similar to others, but then there’s so much creativity in other areas. The concept of a space train was inspired by the popular Japanese children’s book “Night on the Galactic Railroad”, which would receive its own anime adaptation, and what Leiji Matsumoto did with this inspiration ended up taking on an identity all its own. You really feel for this bond between Tetsuro and Maetel. You spend so much time wondering just who Maetel is and what her goal in all of this could be. She’s kept just vague enough where I feel we were told all that we needed to. Tetsuro is someone I’ve seen reviewers describe as a little frustrating due to his naivete, but he’s a child. It makes complete sense for him to place his trust in the wrong person or make a mistake like he does. Masako Nozawa, the future voice of Goku and all his male relatives barring Raditz, voiced Tetsuro and I think she really brought a strong likeability to the character. We feel for him and also have a lot of fun seeing him travel through space. Its hard to say what version is stronger, I’d argue the show but know its not easy to recommend something that hefty. Whether someone watches the films or the show or both I think they’re still getting something great out of it.

And they say you can’t sum up a show in one image. So “Madoka Magica” what are we to do about you? Its kind of hard to explain, but I rather purposefully chose not to watch it for this long. Mostly because I was tired of the hype and the fandom basically pulling an “Evangelion” and acting like no magical girl anime or manga prior to this served emotions. But its presence never really died, this anime is almost a decade old now and people still care. And while I don’t regret not tuning in while it was running, I am very happy to have experienced it on my own terms. It gave me one of my new favorite characters with Homura, its visually stunning and marvelously directed. the music is so enchanting, and the story really is good. I think the show from start to end was a great watch and really kept me going and the bittersweet nature of it did work for me. As far as the movies go I did watch “Rebellion” and while I think its good it does complicate what the message to the series is in my opinion. Either way its just the same as “End of Evangelion” where I don’t see it as canon. I think the big question a lot of people have is if this lives up to the hype and I’m not totally sure how to answer that, but it is an anime worth your time all the same.

This will be easy. I have a review already written out for “Slam Dunk” so if you want my more expanded thoughts there you go. This really is a fantastic anime.

Last year I watched the movie “A Silent Voice”, but failed to put it in my year end review out of pure laziness. I am not making that same mistake again. “In This Corner of the World” is a film I am very grateful to have seen. Its a very interesting take on a WWII story. Not that we haven’t had movies about the war from the perspective of a civilian before, but there is something to the way its approached through our protagonist that feels especially powerful. She experiences so much during those years and tries her best to keep living with keeping her family alive as her main motivation and eventually is met with tragedy. Its produced by a studio called Mappa who’ve gained a lot of attention for “Yuri on Ice” and this year’s “Banana Fish. I did not like those anime very much, but I really loved this film and have to applaud them for trying different types of stories. I hope the projects they have lined up for 2019 are as enjoyable as this. I’ve heard the director has an interest in releasing an extended cut and if that happens I’ll be very interesting in seeing what it offers.

Again I will not make the same mistake twice. “A Silent Voice” was directed by a woman named Naoko Yamada. She also directed “K-On” and “Tamako Market”, two series that made it on my post for last year. She has an incredible talent and in my opinion is the director in anime to watch. After the success of “A Silent Voice” a lot of people wanted to see where she would go and what she gave us is nothing short of amazing. “Liz and the Blue Bird” is a film more people need to pay attention to. Those who’ve seen it adore it, fans have given it very high scores and glowing reviews. But I think this movie needs even more attention beyond that because compared to movies like “Doukyuusei” this feels like it made a smaller splash in the community. Yamada’s approach to love and drama is so effective without being forceful, you really feel for these girls and the longing between them. Yamada is a director who cares deeply for respecting the emotions of her characters which is why she has successfully created so many famous emotional scenes without them feeling melodramatic or feeling staged. This is especially clear with this film where she manages to communicate everything we need to know, but in very few spoken words. And the animation as one expects from a Kyoani project is just lovely. It also manages to work very strongly with its blue toned color palette. So many people make these blue toned movies look dreary, but not here. Things still have a brightness to them and even a warmth. I feel very lucky I was able to see this movie this year when so many anime films take so long to be made available elsewhere. When it reaches the US on bluray I am definitely buying it.

When it comes to the seasonal TV anime for the year, this was my favorite.”Sora yori mo Tooi Basho“ or “A Place Further than the Universe” is a very interesting installment in the “cute girls do blank” genre of anime. Here its cute girls go to the arctic. It sounds like a weird premise to a show, but when you see it put into practice its impressive how much you feel invested in these girls and what they’re doing. Its directed by a woman named Atsuko Ishizuka who was once identified as one of the great talents at the famed studio Madhouse. I think, like Yamada, she manages to work within these character heavy stories while avoiding any unnecessary melodrama. A lesser director would have made some scenes so cheesy or so over the top sad and that can take you right out of the experience. At first I was unsure of how big of a hit this anime would be given how many huge shows came out this year, but its managed to top the bluray sales in Japan for quite a while now. I feel really happy it became such a success. People say the cute girl sub genre is played out and that if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all, that is not true. Sometimes you need a talented director, an off the cuff premise, and you can get something fresh out of a genre that sometimes over saturates the market.

“Pop Team Epic” is an anime the like of which we’ve never seen before. And we will never get it again. A lot of people have said that in order to understand or get the jokes you have to know what it is they’re parodying and that really is not true. This isn’t referential humor like in “Gintama” where the impact of the joke relies on you knowing that material. If you don’t know "Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” you won’t get it when Gin references Joseph and Caesar’s training with Lisa Lisa. Here the approach to the comedy is so surreal that if you don’t know the reference it just registers as a bizarre thing they did. Sure I know they referenced things like “Hikaru no Go”, but someone who doesn’t would just think its “Pop Team Epic” being weird again. And if you do know what they’re referencing then you know the layers to the joke. The anime is also in a lot of ways very visually strong to the point of being almost avant-garde. It was expensive and time consuming to make even if people don’t realize it. All of these different animation styles, the mixed media approach to certain scenes. They even brought in Miyo Sato, the woman who does the paint on glass animation for “Mob Psycho 100″, to work on the show for a few segments. To a lot of people this show was a meme, but in a lot of ways I think it was doing more than that. We’re not going to get another season or anything out of it, but I’m happy something this strange was able to exist and grab hold of such a large scale audience.

I have an in depth analytical review out for "Berserk”, if you would like to read such a thing there it is. However it does contain spoilers. My unspoiled and condensed opinions are that its fantastic, with gorgeous art, well developed and amazing characters, and tons of soul. Its very intense and not exactly for everyone, but its definitely a masterpiece. Unfortunately it also has a very foul fandom which turned me off reading it for years. I genuinely expected my review to garner a lot of negative feedback given how this fandom is, to my surprise this never happened though. If you can remove the toxic fandom from the equation, which is surprisingly easy to do, then you’re golden. Also this is a romantic manga and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise because they’re cowards.

“Golden Kamuy” is fantastic as a manga. I watched the anime too, but I feel like that works best treated like a companion piece to the manga. I’ve best described the plot as “One Piece” meets “Silence of the Lambs”. This is also something that probably comes closest to evoking the same kind of strangeness that “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” has. The best way I can put it is that characters will say things that are weird, but nobody acts like they’re weird. There is also a lot of information fed to the reader about aspects of the Ainu culture and hunting and weaponry. At first it feels as if you’re being given a lot of information on topics that aren’t going to be important, but they end up having more significance than you realize. The same applies to the characters. I was surprised at how many characters I expected to be left behind were made relevant later on. And they’re memorable. Sugimoto, Asirpa, Shiraishi, Ogata, Tsurumi, Tanigaki, even that little girl Osoma was memorable. One thing the story really excels at is how you have a large amount of characters chasing the same prize, but with their own reasons. Nobody loses sight of their own motivation, some we still haven’t learned their true gain in all of this, and we see how this effects the flow of the plot. For such a large cast this would under a different writer feel very cluttered, but not here. And visually the manga looks amazing. Noda’s art is a little odd at first, but when you really look at it he’s got a lot of talent. Everyone looks distinct, the backgrounds look great, the animals look good (we’re not gonna discuss the anime’s CGI). If I had to recommend just one I’d say the manga as the anime does skip material, some due to networks being incapable of showing such things others honestly feel skipped because they wanted to streamline the plot at the expense of characterization and world building. I do still recommend taking in both as this sort of bundle deal though because the anime really is entertaining and has such a strong seiyuu cast it would be a shame to pass it by completely.

Takehiko Inoue is an absolute master at this stage in his career. In an interview with Akira Toriyama he was called someone with a real sense for manga and its amazing to see how he went from “Slam Dunk,” where he had not yet drawn a bare foot, to something like “Vagabond”. The art in this manga is deserving of all the praise it gets, its so detailed that it just leaves you stunned. The story also shows just how on point he is as a writer. I’m sure through the many movies and shows about Musashi Miyamoto a lot of Japanese audiences have a certain way they tend to view him and then here comes Inoue offering a different approach to the man. One where he is still working towards an enlightened state and trying to reign in an animalistic rage. Working in themes of being the strongest under the sun, what it means to live for the sword, how these choices effect the people left behind, its really fascinating stuff. There’s even an entire long stretch of chapters where we break away entirely from Musashi to focus on a young Kojiro and his adoptive father, its a very sudden break away yet it doesn’t feel random or jarring. I think because Inoue knows how to craft compelling characters so effortlessly it made that shift in focus work as well as it did. Its one of the most successful manga in terms of sales and with good reason, its a masterpiece. This is one of those manga that currently is on an indefinite hiatus and I can only hope Inoue is able to finish it. And if for whatever reason he can’t then at least we can say we got what we got.

Behold your new shonen king! Not Izuku, not Hinata. Open your arms for the next great shonen! “Dr. Stone” is a manga that at the moment doesn’t have the largest of audiences, but everyone I know who’s read it absolutely loves it. And with the anime being released next year I can only hope that will be the push that people need to experience it. The story is focused very heavily on innovation and discovery which feels so fresh compared to a lot of things Weekly Shonen Jump has been producing as of late. And the level to which things have been thought out really impresses me. In recent chapters it was revealed that in that period of time humanity was petrified the terrain has changed drastically and the maps from the past are now worthless. So that means finding a way to survey the land and get a better sense of the world. Its so exciting to read this sort of thing. And the characters are so fun. Senku is a very interesting character to place at the center of this story. He’s a genius and approaches things as logically as possible, sometimes he can be a jerk and self serving, but he’s always going to do what he can to further civilization because he just loves science that much. Chrome is a really funny character to bounce off of him. We recently were introduced to a new member of the cast that has great potential. I like Asagiri. Its written by the same mangaka behind “Eyeshield 21″ and while I have not read that I can say through this manga that he’s really got a great sense of story telling. I also really like Boichi’s art, he pulls out some hilarious extreme faces and also some really dynamic scenes. Next summer can’t come fast enough because I am so hyped and ready for this anime to start.

“Kimetsu no Yaiba” is another manga that will be getting an anime next year and I am extremely excited. If I had to compare it to anything I would honestly say its like if “Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood” and “Hunter x Hunter” got crossbred. Its mangaka Koyoharu Gotouge really feels very influenced by Yoshihiro Togashi in both her writing as well as some of her character designs. Togashi actually said this manga along with “Dr. Stone” is one of the ones in recent years to read which I’m sure made her thrilled to hear. I feel like this is something that does a lot of the things people generally want to see in anime and manga. You have a strong sibling dynamic at the center of the story (and it isn’t one of those relationships), there’s female characters that are involved with the action and its treated like a real fight, there’s themes of family that are always really endearing, aesthetically its very beautiful while still being able to pull off a more intense body horror style moment, fanservice aside from a couple moments is at a minimum, and it is also very funny. There’s a lot of personality to our main characters as well as the Pillars that we have gotten to know and it doesn’t feel crowded. She knows when to use a character and when to keep them out of a certain arc. She also has a lot of respect towards Nezuko who I feel another writer would have shoved aside in favor of her brother. But Nezuko is shown to still retain her autonomy in spite of her predicament, she fights and is sometimes vital to defeating a demon, and the more recent events in the story show a lot of potential for furthering her as a character. The anime is to be released for the spring and its made by Ufotable, based on the PV we have at the moment this show will definitely be gorgeous. I am very excited for what they’ve done with this material and I can only hope other people will be watching too because I do not want this to be a series people sleep on.

“Revolutionary Girl Utena” is a masterpiece. I have frankly a really complicated opinion of Kunihiko Ikuhara. A lot of people think he can do no wrong, I am not one of them. There’s things that happened with “Sailor Moon” that I know weren’t his fault, but there’s also things that happened during S where he had the most control over the project that still bother me. I can never know for sure if these were his ideas or things Toei forced onto him as he did leave the show because of a lack of freedom to do what he wanted, but that said when he really commits to a project he can produce something amazing. He has said many things over the years regarding Utena and a big takeaway from them is that he does not want to tell us what to feel, he wants us to decide for ourselves. I think what Utena fundamentally is about is deconstructing romantic tropes, analyzing chivalry, and the lies men tell women. The series gets more complex and symbolic as it progresses until we get to the movie “Adolescence of Utena” where its refusing to hold your hand any step of the way. Unlike with “End of Evangelion” or “Madoka Rebellion” the “Adolescence” movie is not an attempt at a different ending, but more of an alternative retelling of the story. Its a pure visual masterpiece and a movie that I honestly think deserves to be seen with or without the TV show. That said I would strongly recommend both of them as not only is it one of the greatest shojo ever, it is also Ikuhara at his finest. Moo.

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instantdeerlover · 4 years

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The LA (Takeout) Dinner & A Movie Guide added to Google Docs

The LA (Takeout) Dinner & A Movie Guide

Dinner and a movie is a timeless combination. And while you can’t exactly head to a theater, you don’t really have to - there’s plenty to watch at home, and even more to order for delivery or takeout (how’s that for optimism?). So we’re here to make sure you’re doing dinner and a movie right. Below, you’ll find our picks for great delivery, and which classic movie you should pair it with. We’ll be updating regularly, but for now, here are 30 combinations to keep your quarantine nights feeling fun, and hopefully, just a bit more normal.

Oh, and hey, we went ahead and started a Letterboxd account (tbh, we’re not really sure what to do with it). But if you’d like to see what we’ve been watching lately, give us a follow!

Featured In The LA Socially Distant Summer Guide Everything you need to enjoy some semblance of summer. THE SPOTS Jakob Layman The Old Place $ $ $ $ American , Steaks in Malibu $$$$ 29983 Mulholland Hwy

Movie Pairing: The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (HBO Max)

“What kind of restaurant pairs best with a two-hour-and-forty-minute, semi-transcendental art-house Western starring Brad Pitt? The Old Place, of course - mainly because this sepia-toned saloon and steakhouse up in the Santa Monica Mountains feels like the kind of place where you’d find Jesse James drinking at the bar. During the late 1800s (when James was still alive and kicking), it was a general store and post office. In the 1970s (when Pitt was a teenager), it became a hangout for outlaw actors like Steve McQueen. And now, after a lengthy closure during the pandemic, it’s open for outdoor dining and takeout, too. Not only are their huge, oak-grilled steaks fantastic, but the drive up to Cornell is as breathtaking as the cinematography in the film - shout out to Roger Deakins - and, on occasion, it can also take two hours and forty minutes to get there.” - JM

Kuya Lord $ $ $ $ Filipino in La Canada Flintridge $$$$ 4526 La Granada Way

Movie Pairing: The Cabin In The Woods (Hulu)

“I want to say that Cabin In The Woods is one of the most underrated horror movies of the last decade, but that wouldn’t be fair - it’s not really a horror movie. It’s a horror-comedy-sci-fi-camp-thriller-think-piece and a true roller coaster of emotions from start to finish. And the only way you’re going to get through it is with some comfort food - the kind you can only get at Kuya Lord. The Filipino pop-up is run by a former Bestia sous-chef out of his house in La Canada-Flintridge, with a rotating menu that includes everything from blue prawns to Filipino-style BBQ chicken to the best pancit we’ve ever eaten in LA. Trust us, you’ll need all three when the giant hand comes out of the ground at the end. Sh*t, did I give too much away?” - BC

Holly Liss Button Mash $ $ $ $ Bar Food , Fusion in Echo Park $$$$ 1391 W Sunset Blvd

Movie Pairing: The King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters (Prime)

“The best documentaries are the ones that turn an extremely specific subject - like gamers questing after a high score - into a story about human nature. That’s exactly why I love King Of Kong, a 2007 doc about two gamers obsessed with Donkey Kong. To go with this strange and incredible film, you’re going to want takeout from Button Mash, which is food meant to be eaten while watching people set high scores in their Echo Park arcade. Trust us when we say their fried tofu balls, tangy chicken wings, and dan dan noodles taste just as good at home as they do next to a pinball machine.” - BK

Gold Land BBQ $ $ $ $ BBQ in Culver City $$$$ 12430 Washington Blvd.

Movie Pairing: Miss Juneteenth (Prime)

“Nothing moves me to instant, body-wracking tears quite like seeing a mother/daughter relationship on screen. And while there are plenty of reasons why that might be, this is neither the time, nor place to unpack that (it’s Tuesdays at 7pm). So let’s just stick to Miss Juneteenth. Part coming-of-age story, half slice-of-life drama, this tender film explores the intersections of motherhood, poverty, and the all-too-real “This is your dream, not mine” movie trope. Plus, the lead character works in a BBQ restaurant, so in addition to becoming painfully aware of how long it’s been since you’ve talked to your mom, you’ll also be pretty hungry. Place an order at Gold Land and get The Rambler - this giant sampler of house-smoked tri-tip, roasted chicken, sliced linguica, and Southern sides is so hearty and comforting, it’s essentially the food version of a maternal embrace. Oh, and call your mom back.” -KH

Tacos 1986 $ $ $ $ Tacos in Downtown LA $$$$ 609 S. Spring St.

Movie Pairing: Have A Good Trip: Adventures In Psychedelics (Netflix)

“This new Netflix sorta-doc is basically just Party Legends with a bigger budget, as a bunch of celebs (Sarah Silverman, A$AP Rocky, Sting, etc.) narrate animated versions of their greatest psychedelic experiences. Is it good? Not really, though if you enjoy the occasional spontaneous flashback, I can’t recommend it enough. And since a whole lot of the film deals with mushrooms, do yourself a favor and order Tacos 1986’s hongos tacos. Served on a handmade corn tortilla, the mushrooms are perfectly sauteed and seasoned, then doused in a tangy salsa ranchera I’d chug a gallon of. Are they psychedelic? No, but they are available for takeout and delivery, the latter of which might come in handy if the thought of leaving your couch terrifies you.” - JM

Brent's Deli $ $ $ $ American , Deli , Eastern European in Northridge $$$$ 19565 Parthenia St

Movie Pairing: Italianamerican (The Criterion Collection)

“Whenever I need a quick, easy, straight-to-the-system jolt of comfort, I turn to two things: Italianamerican and Brent’s Deli. The first follows a (then) 32-year-old Martin Scorsese as he interviews his parents about everything from post-war Italy to the family’s famous meatball recipe. And while it’s fun to see his childhood home (and to watch him squirm while his mother chastises him), what’s really great is his parents’ banter - relentless, borderline-mocking, and always full of love, it’s obvious that these two have spent a very full life together. Pair this with the pastrami Reuben sandwich from Brent’s Deli (which is served on rye and can be made with curly fries), and you’ve got a one-way-ticket to serotonin town. Both their Westlake and Northridge locations are available for takeout and delivery, call (805) 557-1882 or (818) 886-5679, or find them on various delivery platforms.” -KH

Casa Vega $ $ $ $ Mexican in Sherman Oaks $$$$ 13301 Ventura Blvd

Movie Pairing: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (Starz)

“Two iconic LA Mexican restaurants are featured heavily in the last act of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. El Coyote, the spot on Beverly where Sharon Tate had her last meal, and Casa Vega, where Rick Dalton and Cliff Booth (Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt) have a meal the same night. One where they get absolutely hammered. So I suggest ordering an enchilada house platter to go along with the half-gallon margarita you order. It’s $30, which is roughly eight servings. I’d also suggest sharing if you want to remember the ending of the movie, which you certainly do.” - BK

APL $ $ $ $ Steaks in Hollywood $$$$ 1680 Vine St

Movie Pairing: There Will Be Blood (Netflix)

“There’s no better main course for a true Daniel Plainview-style dinner than a big piece of beef from APL. This Hollywood steakhouse is certainly fancy enough for any self-respecting oil man, and they’ve got NY strip steaks and BBQ platters for takeout - not to mention brisket, fried chicken, and Cornish game hen. Whether you choose to eat them with a napkin draped over your head is entirely up to you.” - JM

Cassell's Hamburgers $ $ $ $ American , Burgers in Koreatown $$$$ 3600 W 6th St

Movie Pairing: Camp (Prime)

“If you grew up going to theater camp like I did, Camp was a cultural tentpole and ‘Here’s Where I Stand’ is still a song you scream-sing regularly in the shower. If you weren’t a theater kid, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. Either way, this is a movie you need to be watching. For one, it boasts a 16-year-old Anna Kendrick literally poisoning another girl to get the lead role in the musical, but most importantly, it’s the perfect excuse to order Cassell’s. The classic Koreatown diner serves some of our favorite burgers and shakes in town, and that’s exactly what you should be eating while soaking in the simple, childhood nostalgia of summer camp.” - BC

Say Cheese $$$$ 2800 Hyperion Ave

Movie Pairing: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (Prime)

“While the ’80s had The Blues Brothers and the ’90s had Wayne’s World, my generation’s troupe of Lorne Michaels-affiliated white boys is The Lonely Island. And although their careers are filled with important, hyperintellectual work like ‘J*zz In My Pants’ and ‘Threw It On The Ground,’ my favorite is Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, a 2016 mockumentary starring Andy Samberg as an annoying, slightly jacked ‘Justin Bieber type.’ It’s both completely stupid and Mensa-level genius, and when I want to experience that same high-low combination, I turn to my ‘college special’ - freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano over Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli. For the cheese, my go-to spot is Say Cheese in Silver Lake, because of their friendly, non-pretentious staff, and their wide selection of specialty cheeses (which they will let you sample). For the can of le chef, I just go to the grocery store.” - KH

Melrose Umbrella Co $ $ $ $ West Hollywood $$$$ 7465 Melrose Ave

Movie Pairing: Punch-Drunk Love (Hulu)

“Before Uncut Gems, there was Punch-Drunk Love, the excellent Paul Thomas Anderson movie that showed what Adam Sandler was capable of when he decided to, you know, act. It’s only 95 minutes long, but filled with relentless, slowly ratcheting tension (plus romance and the occasional physical altercation). So to-go cocktails from Melrose Umbrella Co. are the ideal accompaniment. My favorites are their traditional mai tai, or the Ring Of Fire - a perfect balance of mezcal, aged cachaca, Aperol, lime, habañero, and ginger. Like Sandler’s character, these tiki-style drinks are sweet, boozy, and likely to knock me out.” - BK

Papa Cristo's Catering & Greek Taverna $ $ $ $ Greek in Koreatown , Westlake $$$$ 2771 W Pico Blvd

Movie Pairing: Mamma Mia! (Hulu)

“Is this pairing a bit on-the-nose? Of course it is. But I also watched Mamma Mia! four times in a row on a turbulence-filled flight to Asia last year, and I regret absolutely nothing. Besides, now you have the perfect excuse to call up Papa Cristo’s. The classic Greek deli/market on Pico makes my favorite Greek food in LA, and their entire menu (plus some meal kits) are available for delivery. I love their saganaki, spanakopita, and Greek yogurt and honey, but frankly, you can’t go wrong with anything. So just do what I do and over-order - you’ll need the leftovers for your fourth viewing anyway.” - BC

Lu Din Gee (Duck House) $$$$ 501 S Atlantic Blvd

Movie Pairing: The Last Black Man in San Francisco (Prime)

“There are so many reasons to love The Last Black Man in San Francisco - the incredible cinematography, the ways it weaves in complex issues like gentrification and displacement without being heavy-handed, Danny Glover. Plus, it’s a two-hour love-letter to the San Francisco I know and love. One of my favorite memories from when I lived there was when I’d walk to Irving St. with my boyfriend at the time, and we’d order all the char siu, bao, and duck we could carry, then pick it all apart with our hands while watching French bulldogs celebrate their birthday in Golden Gate Park (this absolutely a real anecdote). And while we can’t do that anymore, you can still order whole Peking ducks from Lu Din Gee, a Taiwanese restaurant in Monterey Park that specializes in Beijing-style birds, inexplicably. Call (626) 284-3227 to set up a delivery or takeout.” - KH

Spoon & Pork $ $ $ $ Filipino in Silver Lake $$$$ 3131 Sunset Blvd

Movie Pairing: At Eternity’s Gate (Hulu)

“Artists tend to be a bit obsessive - we’ve learned that in a lot of movies, but especially in At Eternity’s Gate, a beautiful film about the end of Vincent Van Gogh’s life. Willem Dafoe plays Van Gogh in an appropriately strange, perfectionistic way. Watching his performance, I was reminded of Spoon & Pork’s tremendous Filipino food - they’re obsessive when it comes to perfecting pork. That’s clearest when I eat the patita, their slow-cooked, deep-fried pork shank that’s doused in chili garlic, and is equal parts crispy, salty, and moist every time. There’s something beautiful about perfection - and you’ll know it when you taste that patita.” - BK

Masa of Echo Park Bakery & Cafe $ $ $ $ Pizza , Italian in Echo Park $$$$ 1800 W Sunset Blvd

Movie Pairing: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (Netflix)

“As a Chicagoland native, I know that few movies are dearer to the people of The Windy City than Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. So lean into that fact and order delivery from Masa while you watch. The family-owned restaurant in Echo Park is run by Illinois natives and their buttery, perfectly constructed deep-dish pizza is proof. I tend to go for The Traditional (sweet sausage and mushroom), because that’s what I grew up eating, but you can’t really go wrong with any of the pies. Just be sure to throw in a manchego salad and bread pudding as well. Then sit back, embrace your food coma, and gaze in stunned amazement at how well this film holds up.” - BC

Destroyer $ $ $ $ American in Culver City $$$$ 3578 Hayden Ave

Movie Pairing: Blade Runner (Netflix)

“Despite the fact that Blade Runner is set in ‘Los Angeles, November 2019,’ we still don’t have flying cars or replicants (unless you count the Kardashians). And while you could mourn society’s decided lack of technological progress, I’ve got a better idea: An order from Destroyer, the futuristic Culver City spot that actually feels like it could be in Ridley Scott’s film. They’re open for outdoor dining, delivery, and pick-up from 9am-5pm (and have an online marketplace of goods and sundries, too), which means you can enjoy dishes like raw oatmeal with a vanilla disk or rice porridge with chicken while you attempt to figure out if Deckard was a robot or not.” - JM

Clark Street Bread $ $ $ $ Cafe/Bakery in Downtown LA $$$$ 317 S Broadway

Movie Paring: Portrait Of A Lady On Fire (Hulu)

“Portrait Of A Lady On Fire is a cinematic masterpiece. I cried while watching it the first time in theaters (remember when we could do that?), and I cried again while watching it the other night, all alone in my apartment. I also found myself wondering, ‘Why was that scene of her eating the bread so damn satisfying?’ The closest I’ve gotten to experiencing that uncomplicated bliss is at Clark Street Bakery. Their takeaway counter is open for pick-up and delivery, and has everything you need for watching a French love story, like buttery kouign-amann pastries, rows of crusty bread loaves, and most importantly, their Nordic breakfast plate - a massive platter that comes with a sourdough roll, Comté cheese, ham, butter, jam, and a hardboiled egg.” - KH

Marvin $ $ $ $ American in Beverly Grove $$$$ 8114 Beverly Blvd

Movie Pairing: The Favourite (Hulu)

“The Favourite is all about satisfying appetites. The ones in the movie are a bit more illicit than truffles and butter (although Olivia Colman’s Queen Anne does have a soft spot for rich desserts), but Marvin’s fantastic French-ish food makes me feel like an indulgent 18th century royal. Their delivery dinners have recently included fettucini with black truffles, beef bourguignon pot pie, and rigatoni Bolognese. Be sure to order a few bottles of Burgundy, so you can get appropriately as drunk as the three fantastic leads in the film. For menus and ordering info, check out their Instagram.” - BK

Wally's Beverly Hills $ $ $ $ Wine Bar in Beverly Hills $$$$ 447 N. Canon Drive

Movie Pairing: The First Wives Club (Netflix)

“Don’t fact-check me on this, but I’m pretty sure there’s a law saying you can’t watch The First Wives Club without drinking your weight in wine in the process. So, make sure you secure a delivery from Wally’s. The Beverly Hills wine bar has one of the largest (and best) wine stocks in the city, plus solid snacks like flatbreads, truffle popcorn, and charcuterie boards to keep from getting too drunk. Not that Goldie, Bette, and Diane would judge you for it - I just want to make sure you make it to the end for the dance number.” - BC

Fish King Seafood $ $ $ $ Japanese , Seafood , Hawaiian in Glendale $$$$ 722 N Glendale Ave

Movie Pairing: Moana (Disney+)

“I’ve been feeling increasingly like Moana lately, trapped on an island (my house), not allowed to leave. Unlike this Disney heroine, I’m not going to get in a boat to find Dwayne Johnson and defeat an angry Polynesian god. But like her - I assume, since she was on a boat for a while - I want to eat some extremely fresh fish during this movie. Fish King, the Hawaiian-ish spot in Glendale, is the ideal place for it. In addition to serving Hawaiian-style poke, they’ve also got a great fried fish sandwich, grilled fish plates involving everything from bonito to mahi mahi, and clam chowder, all available for takeout and delivery. For more info, call (818) 244-2161.” - BK

Steep $$$$ 970 N Broadway

Movie Pairing: Get Out (Prime)

“Yes, the takeaway from Get Out is that being a person of color in America oftentimes feels like being in a horror movie. I get that. I think it’s genius. I would have given Jordan Peele the Best Original Screenplay Oscar a second time if I could. So when Catherine Keener sends Daniel Kaluuya to the Sunken Place with a cup of tea, the correct response probably isn’t “When was the last time I had a good cup?” But if you’re like me, place an order at Steep. This modern tea house in Chinatown serves a variety of loose-leaf teas like green tangerine pu-erh, shan lin xi oolong, and spring snail green tea, as well as pre-made versions of their blacks, greens, and oolongs for those who don’t have a strainer. If you’re hungry, they also have Taiwanese dishes to go, like braised pork rice with a marinated egg and pork butter with beef broth. Order directly from their website for takeout.” - KH

All Time $ $ $ $ American in Los Feliz $$$$ 2040 Hillhurst Ave

Movie Pairing: Midsommar (Prime)

“It might not include any psychedelic mushrooms, and it definitely doesn’t include a bear, but if you’re looking to recreate the bacchanal brutality of Midsommar, a Market Box from All Time is the way to go. The contents change often, but you can expect bright and bountiful amounts of fresh fruits and veggies, all of which would look great in your May Queen crown. They’ve also got baked goods (perfect for you to hide a pubic hair in, thus completing your love spell) and deluxe 12-bottle wine kits, which cost $1,500. And while that might seem like a lot, remember, your village only celebrates this festival once every 90 years.” - JM

MiniBar $ $ $ $ Hollywood $$$$ 6141 Franklin Ave

Movie Pairing: A Simple Favor (Hulu)

“If the original trailer featuring seven different scenes involving martinis wasn’t a big enough hint for you, I’ll spell it out - A Simple Favor is essentially a community PSA for the iconic cocktail, and as viewers, it’s imperative we play our part. Sure, you could attempt to make a bad version at home, but what fun is that when MiniBar’s “Rolling Booze Mobile” can bring one to you? The answer is no fun, especially considering the tiny bar in Franklin Village makes one of our favorite versions in town. Check their Instagram for their latest location.” - BC

Broad Street Oyster Co. $ $ $ $ American , Seafood in Malibu $$$$ 23359 Pacific Coast Hwy

Movie Pairing: Moonrise Kingdom (Prime)

“I grew up in a coastal New England town that looks suspiciously like the one in Moonrise Kingdom, and eating at Broad Street Oyster feels a bit like going home for me. The hot lobster roll should be your order here, along with some fantastic popcorn shrimp, oysters, and the Beach Burger. Plus, I’m pretty sure the restaurant was decorated with discarded set pieces from the movie. Broad Street is available for pick-up and delivery. Check out their Instagram for more information.” - BK

Azay $ $ $ $ Japanese , French in Little Tokyo $$$$ 226 E 1st St

Movie Pairing: Tampopo (iTunes)

“Heartwarming, absurdist, and filled with food shots that rival Chef’s Table, Tampopo just might be one of the greatest films ever made about food. And while it would have been easy to pick any one of LA’s great ramen spots to pair with a viewing, I’d choose to watch it while eating one of the many home-style Japanese dishes from Azay, like a breakfast set made with broiled fish, bowls of unagi, or their daily bento box. Or try the omurice, a simple staple that’s featured in one of my favorite scenes, where a gooey, runny omelet is folded over a bed of fried rice then drizzled in ketchup - which, surprisingly, is only the second-best scene in this movie that involves an egg. Check their Instagram, call (213) 628-3431, or email [email protected] to place a takeout order.” - KH

Osteria La Buca $ $ $ $ Italian in Hancock Park , Hollywood , Larchmont $$$$ 5210 Melrose Ave

Movie Pairing: Goodfellas (Netflix)

“Interested in constantly reminding your younger brother to ‘Keep an eye on the sauce’ while you alternately attempt to unload some unlicensed handguns, snort drugs, and dodge a DEA helicopter? Osteria La Buca’s new All Day Menu is for you. They’ve got family-style portions of spaghetti pomodoro, rigatoni Bolognese, and chicken parm that’ll feed up to six, plus house sauces and pastas, all available for takeout or delivery. Even if you don’t have an evening of illegal activities planned, an order from Osteria is still a great idea - and if you blast Harry Nilsson’s ‘Jump Into The Fire’ while you’re picking up your food, you’ll literally be a Goodfella.” - JM

Birdie G’s $ $ $ $ American in Santa Monica $$$$ 2421 Michigan Ave

Movie Pairing: Christmas Vacation (Hulu)

“A Christmas movie? In the spring? Welcome to life in the quarantine, baby. Though the original Vacation is probably the best of the series, Christmas Vacation boasts a cornucopia of iconic moments that defined my childhood: A cat getting electrocuted, a rabid squirrel terrorizing the house, and Cousin Eddie kindly telling the neighbors that ‘The sh*tter’s full.’ And there isn’t a better way to watch this masterpiece than with a holiday meal of your own from Birdie G’s. The Santa Monica comfort food spot has a delivery menu filled with everything from matzo ball soup to noodle kugel to whole chicken in a tropical sauce - the latter of which pairs poetically with the Griswold’s incinerated turkey.” - BC

Highland Park Brewery $ $ $ $ Highland Park $$$$ 5127 York Blvd

Movie Pairing: The World’s End (Prime)

“Every time I see this movie about a fantastically epic pub crawl, it makes me want to crack a beer. Or, as the plot gets crazier and crazier, like 17 of them. Fortunately, Highland Park Brewery has their beer pick-up system down pat, and even delivers to most areas of the Eastside - check out their Instagram for more details. So I highly recommend stocking up on some insanely fresh beer (I went last week and got some four-packs that had literally been canned that day) - go for the Hello, LA (a clear, pine-forward West Coast IPA) and the America’s Preference, a crisp, dry, extremely drinkable pils.” - BK

Gigi's Bakery & Cafe $ $ $ $ Cafe/Bakery , Cuban in Historic Filipinotown $$$$ 2200 W Temple St

Movie Pairing: The Devil Wears Prada (Prime)

“Maybe it’s the excessively appetizing frying sounds the foley artist scrounged up, or the ‘$8 worth of Jarlsberg’ he claims it contains, but when Andy’s ‘chef’ boyfriend (I use quotations here because he has an awful lot of free time at night for someone who claims to be in the restaurant industry) whips up a grilled cheese for her in their New York apartment, two things become abundantly clear: I’ve never made a grilled cheese like that in my entire life, and I need to be eating one, like, right now. But Gigi’s can actually do you one better - not only does this Cuban bakery sell one of the most perfectly pressed Cubanos known to man, but they also serve a variety of pastries like pastelitos de guayaba queso (guava cheese strudels) and their famous potato ball - all of which are still available to-go. Find more info on their website.” - KH

Dudley Market $ $ $ $ American , Seafood in Venice $$$$ 9 Dudley Ave

Movie Pairing: The Lighthouse (iTunes)

“If you’ve got a roommate, chances are, you’re already feeling like Robert Pattinson in The Lighthouse, so you might as well lean into it and order dinner from Dudley Market in Venice. Open for outdoor dining and pick-up, they put their fishing boat to good use, and every day they’re offering fresh-caught fish, not to mention favorites like their pork and clam toast and The Dudley Burger. Unfortunately, Dudley doesn’t sell lobster, which means no one will get to shout ‘You’re fond of me lobster!’ before invoking Neptune’s fury.” - JM

via The Infatuation Feed https://www.theinfatuation.com/los-angeles/guides/dinner-and-a-movie-delivery-la Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://trello.com/userhuongsen

Created August 28, 2020 at 12:42AM /huong sen View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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May I Just Say…Your Horoscope is Here!!!

http://fashion-trendin.com/may-i-just-sayyour-horoscope-is-here/

May I Just Say…Your Horoscope is Here!!!

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej.

The letter “O” on my home laptop’s keyboard broke, so yesterday morning, I had to write this story without the “o’s,” then go back and copy and paste an “o” from an old story in all the proper holes. And when I needed a capital “o,” I had to google “prah Winfrey” so that Oprah’s name would auto-complete and I could snag her “O.”

It was annoying, to say the least, so I thought to myself, There needs to be a place where all of the letters of the alphabet, capital and lowercase, and numbers, and symbols, can exist in one space in case someone breaks a keyboard letter. So in true entrepreneurial spirit, I’ve done just that — plus I removed the middleman (Google):

Aa Bb Cc Dd Ee Ff Gg Hh Ii Jj Kk Ll Mm Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz 1234567890!@#$%^&*() -_=+[]|:;”‘<,>.?/

That’s not all I’ve done for you today though! I also finally did your May Horoscope. Per usual, all credit to Susan Miller of Astrology Zone, who guides my words like a North Star.

Ready, set, SING!

Taurus

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US CELESTIAL SKY COWS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!

I know it’s cool to hate “the birthday song” at restaurants but I kind of love it. When else — besides at the Hard Rock Cafe, where I spent my 16th birthday and stood on top of a table to dance after too much sugar — is it acceptable to burst spontaneously into song and essentially light things on fire and cause a scene (all without getting thrown out)?

Speaking of causing a scene! This just in from Susan: “This will be a major month for you, dear Taurus, for Uranus, the planet of change, individuality, creativity, rebellion, disruption, and innovation, will move into Taurus for the first time since 1934 for a very long visit. This means this influence will be new for you.”

How ironic, or how perfect: All I do in these horoscope recaps is shit-talk the planet of butts, and yet here it is, coming into our sign — a less than once in a lifetime opportunity because it doesn’t necessarily happen to everyone — to make our lives better/more interesting/more creative. Uranus is going to open up a lot of doors that we didn’t even know existed.

Shorter term, the new moon of the 15th will affect us positively too (we’ll exit toxic situations) and then Mars in Aquarius will breathe new life into our careers (but we can’t just sit there! Get after it, as that annoying guy you know says). It’s a great month for love, and to be betrothed. Don’t forget you can marry yourself! That way you can merge your bday cake and your wedding cake into one!

Gemini

SNAP INTO A SLIM-GEM! I just thought of that, you can thank me or reprimand me later. That wasn’t meant to sound so kinky but choose your own adventure, I suppose.

Speaking of kink! Uranus is going to enter everyone’s life in a major way this month, and Uranus, as you know, is full of “sudden surprises and impulsive actions and unexpected news,” so if you’ve been feeling like everything has been the same for so long, GET READY TO FEEL OTHERWISE, CHRISTIAN GREY.

If you’re writing a book or a play (or you want to) the new moon on the 15th will fuel your creativity. Everything is going to look like copy to you, or like a song, or like a movie. Please don’t miss your stop on the subway because of this, but if you do, anyone who’s accidentally gone to Queens instead of Wall Street knows that this adventure can be a total delight AND further fuel your writing. Unless you’re late for a meeting in which case, I feel you and that’s stressful. I’m projecting though because Susan said nothing about being late! But she did say May will be a romantic month, especially if you want to go to Wyoming and meet a hot cowperson and be around horses. Swear to god she said that, in more words or less.

Cancer

If April felt like it sucked (it kinda…did…didn’t it??) MAY WILL BE THE OPPOSITE! Take THAT, calendar makers who always make April something adorable, like baby ducks in yellow rain boots, versus May, which always features like, a tree. Not that trees aren’t cool but it’s hard to compare, calendar-wise, a tree to a chick in wellies.

May’s going to be super romantic for you, especially this coming weekend. Unrelated to romance — or very related, depending on what you’re into — Uranus is “showering” you with “sparkling aspects” that Susan calls “deliciously social.”

Life will really feel like it’s taking on a new tune for you (in a great way) around May 15th. There’s a new moon when Uranus kicks into high gear. Two bad it’s not a full moon, otherwise I could have a made a two-butts-for-the-price-of-one joke.

I think you’re going to get rich on the 29th!

Leo

Kittens! Inspired by kittens!

You know what’s messed up? The way my “CYCLE” runs, I get fork-stabby-in-my-ovary-cramps every single time I write horoscopes, depending on how late in the month we’re running, and I have them terribly while writing yours. That should make this an adventure! It’s like EXTREME WRITING. It’s like Gordon Ramsey for periods and horoscopes! What would that show even be called? Taking suggestions in the comments below.

SUSAN THINKS you might be moving!!! Good thing Haley — fellow Leo — found all those decorating tips for you.

You’ll feel extra creative this month, and you’ll get famous as a result on the 15th (even if it’s just office famous, or your-boss-loves-you famous — either way you’ll feel like a real Molly Shannon superstar). On the 25th you might even sell some of your work.

The 29th is your day for love, although considering that we’re heading into summer, I’d say you’ve got a whole season of makeouts and whatnots ahead of you. You know my favorite life motto: Have fun, be safe! And don’t forget that whoever you bump lion butts with should treat you like the king/queen/and all sorts of royalty in-between of the jungle that you are!

Virgo

Full disclosure, I date a Virgo, so your ‘scopes are definitely now swayed in a way that some might consider unethical in the world of journalism, but with Susan and the stars as my main source, how can I go wrong, really?

May will be an exceptionally romantic month (!) where you and you and your main squeeze are likely to get away from the 25th to the 27th. DO NOT FORGET that “main squeeze” can also mean your bff or your favorite book.

Bffs rule, especially when you forget a song and hate using Google so you call them instead, but if you’re looking for love — or perhaps a simple summer fling? I can’t believe I forgot to announce the official commencement of uncuffing-season: a super fun time of year, except for the Virgo I date, I suppose — then take joy in knowing you’ll find it and you won’t even have to look under any wormy rocks! (No offense, February, but don’t think I don’t remember that shit.) And I’m just going to add this casual line in here there from Susan: “devote yourself to love sweet love.” Take it or leave it. I’m going to Target!

You’ll feel particularly intellectual on the 15th, and everyone important to your career will love you. Your career is on a skyrocket whiz-bam-boom UP into the ether! Avoid signing agreements on the 13th, but otherwise, sounds like a party month to me!

Libra

Libra Libra bo bibra banana nana no nibra me mi mo meebra, libra! I forget how to do that song but hi how are you how’s your day going let’s talk horoscope and for heaven’s sake maybe I won’t make the next seven so damn long!

I know you want to travel and you’re feeling itchy to get away. You will in June, for now, enjoy the time at home to regroup for summer and watch as the CA$H FLOW STARTS POURING IN. Per Susan, the money influx is looking as though you might suddenly find out you’re the Princess of Genovia, minus the antiquated-beauty-standards makeover montage (although I do love a makeover montage so have one at your leisure that feels good for you).

Mars in Aquarius on the 16th means an influx of fun and friends and dancing and laughing. If you’re finding yourself arguing a bit with your S.O., Susan Miller suggests couples therapy, and so does MR contributor Meghan Nesmith. In fact, she loves it.

Venus will enter your “professional reputation sector” on May 19th, so that sounds to me like an office party (to celebrate all your achievements, obviously!) if I’ve ever seen one. Can’t wait to see all that you achieve, honey bee. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Scorpio

Sting Butt! Let me start off this spring ‘scope with the kind of Susan Miller quote that people probably expect to read when they take the time to check out what the stars have in store for them, rather than my old blatherings:

“As a Scorpio, you tend to like to do things by yourself and not involve others. You like having full control, but sometimes, like this month, you might want to consider teaming up with a person that can add a needed element of expertise to your life. This may be for business, but you also will have the urge to merge in love – by getting engaged or married.”

Okay! Back to the blatherings! Except this is all kind of related: On the 15th, you’ll grow closer to a partner (professional or bed-wise). It also seems you’re about to partake in moving season: Mars will help you, but because it goes retrograde in June (the 26th through August 27th) try if you can to wrap your shit up now.

Finally, May 25th is an ideal day for love. To find it, nourish it, cherish it, roll around in it. Eyes open and arms out wide. I’m hungry! Are you??

Sagittarius

Hello divine equines! Don’t forget to polish your hooves so that they’re shiny for summer’s arrival. In other non-horse related news (why, though) embrace the fact that the start of the month, you’re going to feel nest-y and like you’d rather keep to yourself than be social. This is totally okay, and also a great time because I feel like there’s good stuff out on Netflix right now to catch up on. (This will also be a good time to save up some money if you feel like you’ve been especially spend-y.)

I have to pee.

You, meanwhile, will feel ESPECIALLY creative this year, and you can thank Jupiter and Neptune getting along nicely for that!

On the 15th (a new moon, tell your friends), will bring “news of a new assignment,” which sounds annoying because everyone’s to-do list might as well be called a Too-Long-To-Do-List, Thanks, but it’s not because this new assignment will mean a lot of money. Hurray! Oh but please do read the fine print slowly and carefully.

Travel, travel, travel (Susan is always trying to get people out of town, no matter the sign. I swear she’s a rogue house party thrower or something), and on May 19th — ooo! Love’s on the horizon: Venus will “glide through your seventh house of commitment from the start of the month until May 19th.” How’s that for a fantastic lube PSA?

Capricorn

Hey Caprese-salad-corns! Susan Thriller says you’ve got the spotlight on you this month. She also says that the world may feel like it’s turning too quickly right now. She promises you can handle this, even if that Simon & Garfunkel song “Feeling Groovy” just told you to slow down because you move too fast.

I had to sing that song in some chorus I was in forever ago and it gets stuck in my brain all the time.

Susan also says that life has felt a little rocky and serious lately. Well MAY (my birthday month, FYI) will bring you — or hopefully already is bringing you — “lots of reasons to enjoy life.”

May 15th will be a hyper-romantic day, whether you’re single as an errant chin hair or as wrapped up in another human as an ingrown.

The rest of May stays romantic, especially the 25th when Jupiter and Neptune hook up. It might be a nice time to travel but also, to paint those nudes you’ve been meaning to do.

^As for those nudes, you can thank Uranus moving into Taurus (we in the Taurian committee are very thrilled and honored to host) for upping your creativity. Can’t wait to see what you paint, literally AND metaphorically!

Aquarius

Hello you beautiful celestial swimming pools of brilliance! (Feel free to use that description in your Instagram or Tinder bio.) Your focus this month will center around the home, so maybe you’re moving. Do tell all the details.

Uranus’s move to Taurus will influence all the signs in a major way. For you, this may involve some kind of move. Try to be flexible because this Uranus situation is a good thing. Remember, the Planet of Butts is also the planet of surprises!

This month is a good time to be productive (sorry if that’s boring) because the summer’s going to get a little sticky what with the planets going on various vacations and everyone being too hot (not that I’m complaining after our long and longer winter). Some things to keep you motivated: Your career is excelling and you as a professional human are sitting astride a shooting star.

And after that, honestly, Susan just repeated more of the same thing! Oh but try to throw a party or take a vacation at the end of May! Yay!

Pisces

Hi sweetie sweet sweet goldfish! Uranus, who “played havoc with your finances for seven years” (when butt stuff goes awry), is finally OUT of your sign. You will feel instant relief, per Susan Thriller. And I get it. You must have felt financially constipated given all of the clues I’m drawing from Suz!

Well. Get ready for your money to steady, if not rise, and get even MORE ready for your creativity and communication skills to shoot up so high that the moon’s like, “Hey watch it down there!” But then the moon will smile in a good-natured manner because honestly, she gets it. (That said, this is why we don’t play with rubber bands indoors or near eyes, okay?)

May 15th might be a good time to seek a scholarship for continued education or something in line with that theme. (You know all of these horoscopes are amenable to your reality.)

Now here’s something I am really excited to talk about even though I just weirdly put an apple I wasn’t done eating in my mug of coffee (to hold it) but turns out I still had coffee in there — way to kill two birds you very much wanted alive with one stone, Amelia: The weekend of the 25th to the 28th is an excellent time for LOVE!!!!!!!!! Love in the romantic sense, and love in the creative sense, plus, Susan Miller gives you free rein to go shopping thanks to Venus!

Bartender! Please! Three cheers, three beers, and a Fuzzy Nipple while you’re at it!

Aries

I’ll tell you what I just saw, Aries: two pigeons engaging in the act of foreplay. It was troublesome, even though I know all things deserve to have and make love, so please just know that I will be working through that while I type this out. I also really, really need to Google “how do birds have sex” and “bird penis,” which I have done before! I just can’t keep it in my mind apparently (there’s probably a protective psychological reason for that?) but, big caveat, I’m borrowing Elizabeth Tamkin’s computer because I needed to work remotely and my work computer is a desktop and if you read the intro then you know that the “O” key of my home computer doesn’t work!!! But anyway I can’t just go searching for bird peens on a colleague’s computer.

So here we are: THIS MAY, your finances are on the rise, but (!), the “heavy emphasis on your career will become less important to you once you reach May 15th. “You’ll turn your focus to friendship, largely.” Interesting. Sounds like a work-life balance situation to me. (But also if you’re like whoa whoa hey hey I need to focus on my career, Susan later brings up networking, so maybe you’re focused on your career still, but you’re re-centering your focus on networking so that you can make your next move — make sense? Does anything I ever write in these horoscopes make sense? I have to wash my hair or else!)

The rest of May, especially the 23rd, will be a great time to travel. Going anywhere special for Memorial Day? Do tell me about it. As for love, you know how people get when the temperature rises: all dough-y eyed and looking for someone to makeout with. They don’t call it Spring Fever for nothing!

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