#but i truly cannot be fucked to say anything when i still haven't reported that other actually bullshit driver yet oops

[thatqueerbat]

✨ok bus drivers✨

when did walkers count as wheelchairs

and why do they take priority in the only wheelchair space

when there is Plenty of space on the bus for this person to sit (/stand as they currently are) with their walker next to them

without being in the damn Wheelchair Space

yknow, the space theres only one of, and this meaning i have to get out, squish my chair, wheel it on and hope it doesn't get entirely bashed around

instead of. maybe. asking the person to move to another space. instead of telling me its already occupied. and failing a very basic priority

but that's likely asking too much, for basic access to a necessary service

[sincelastsession]

I got a 52.14 on the test. I'm upset.

Can we do the test in session together?

Should I do it again another day at a different time?

It was incredibly hard and there were several questions that like I answered but I experience those things differently but im not sure if that means the same thing.

I see that it says "Very high scores do not necessarily mean a more severe dissociative disorder is present, this is because the scale measures both normal and pathological dissociation"

It scares me because I don't want to be treated differently or like I'm a crazy person. Like had too many diagnosis that I don't even have my autism on my chart because my psych knew I'd get treated like a looney tune in the south because of the propensity of southerners to just well I'm sure you know that history.

Like it makes me sick that mentally ill people don't get treated like they need from the people who are supposed to love them. Why have kids if you only want to see them as an extension of yourself? They're little souls little individuals and people crush that and I hate it so much. It's like a family tree of rot when this continues from generation to generation.

Also my neighbors woke me up and I reported it and I'm super pissed off still but luckily Matt was up and I decided to smoke to get sleepy and he admitted to be drinking but we had the most lovely conversation and then got very cringe stupid cute and spent like 30 minutes going back and forth. I really just haven't had a connection like I do with my partner. The long distance doesn't matter to me. We're both getting things out if this and it's sorta terrifying. Yeah sometimes I'm a mess and he's a mess but I'm happy. I'm scared it will fall apart though. I'm scared it's not real but everything is there. It's real. He doesn't care that I'm big he says, he likes big women he says...I hate how society and beauty standards fuck with my head. I love that I think he truly means it though not as a fetish but as just me. If I have another partner they will have to be like him or better and respect my relationship. I'd love to fit my ex in the puzzle here. I don't think it's ever going to be possible though. I'd also like to date Ashley but he's not poly and I'm not wanting to be an asshole and push him because being monogamous is fine too. I'm ambiamorous myself so I get it.

I mean I know I'm stoned but my heart us full and it's not like I wouldn't feel differently sober. My inhibitions are just at what I should be normally minus the "high" This happens when I have drunks too. I feel like I'm free from brain jail. I really wish I was on a "no fucks to give about things I cannot control dose of my anxiety med. I fuckin miss that. I wish just for a month my psych would up my dose at least 1mg. I feel it would help. The medical board is a joke imo. Some people need meds that are unconventional to prescribe. Actually 10yrs ago it wouldn't be a big deal. Now everything us and people are dying more because they're using street drugs because doctors can't monitor them and prescribe them anything to help because there's just not enough mental Healthcare like that that's affordable and don'tget me started on pharmaceutical companies. It's just bullshit.