#but idk i'm also generally really drawn to characters who behave questionably but are immediately self critical

[formashimataichi]

Reading chihayafuru and why does taichi keep going on with "is this all i am" thoughts is beyond me, like bro is good in 10 other things school topper ig and Chihaya has been constantly working all the time since middle school ofcourse she will be better than him, arata has also been practicing crazy since he was a kid under a former meijin. I don't understand tchi arc sometimes like ofcourse everyone has expectations from parents, most asian households have that torture, to top this all off he's rich lmao. Like chihayas mom is literally scared her daughter will have unstable life because this field isn't like other sports..

Sometimes even comparing him to leero retro also don't seem to be fair, taichi is so good in short amount of time , why the narrative makes him seem like an underdog of sorts. He is kind and changed a lot since middle school is the model student but he can be self centred. There's a guy Going blind and karuta all he has in the series there are women who are juggling family and a queen title so the whole fandom coddling taichi with oh poor baby makes no sense.

that's why i really enjoy his interactions with suou the most, like the whole "you ignore what you're blessed with" shtick (apologies if i'm misremembering the exact wording of the line, i'm too lazy to go and check the translation). there is so much in taichi's life for him to appreciate and cherish but it always gets bogged down in his own insecurities and his belief that if he can't be great at this one thing he won't be able to actually maintain those connections that he desperately wants to keep. i don't think you can really view his insecurities as mutually exclusive of his desperation for companionship. he's always afraid he'll be left behind if he can't catch up and it takes him a while to realize that this is a community that will always have a place for him regardless of how he performs, bc they recognize that he has a passion akin to the rest of them. i'm not personally a fan of comparing taichi's problems to other characters' problems bc i think each person deals with their own slew of issues that is worthy in its own right. being pressured all your life by your parents to do well and being dismissed otherwise is something that can seriously mess with your head and debilitate your forays into passions thereafter. esp when that factors into the relationships you form with people bc you're constantly being forced to leave behind the endeavors that are meaningless, and thereby the friends who are attached to them. i don't think it's realistic to say that bc he's good at other things he should be content when it's clear karuta is the thing he specifically wants to be great at, esp bc it keeps him connected to his friends. but at the same time, i also love how the narrative addresses taichi's privilege and weaves it together with his tendency to be self-critical anyway. he knows he has to change and be better and question his priorities and that's what really draws me into his arc. he knows there are aspects of his attitude and behavior towards others that are unfair and borne of jealousy and he doesn't like that about himself, so he tries however incrementally he can to mold his perspective into something more constructive and less vindictive. his constant devotion to improvement is inspiring even if it's a slow work in progress, and i like that he has setbacks and doubts himself constantly. it's very realistic in its non-linear portrayal imo