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anon-confesses · 2 years

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I'm not sure if it's possible for me to go to college. All of my life college was a huge thing for me (along with graduating highschool and being able to give a speech) and not due to family/peer pressure. It was something I genuinely wanted, and still want.

The problem is that I live with abusive parents. They're really horrible and if I had to stay one more year I would be committed to the psych ward again for trying to kill them... again. So you can imagine that the plan is to get the fuck out of here and that a college far away would help right? Unfortunately, as it stands now thats incorrect.

1. I'm going to move out with my older sibling, who still also lives at home (they are not doing college either but they are saving up). We really need each other and I don't want to do it on my own.

2. I failed my freshman year of highschool. It really was a smack in the face and put it in stone I'd never be able to give a speech at my graduation and hell, I might not be able to even go to my graduation.

3. Because I'm a very burnt-out gifted kid I can't study, its impossible for me and so getting into a college I could probably do but staying in is a different story

4. I'm moving overseas when I turn 19. I can't keep living with the paranoia of my mother stalking either my sibling or I.

5. Visas overseas, it could be possible to get sponsored by a college but I want to go into business and I don't know how possible that is. So I'd probably have to be sponsored by a job before I get a citizenship and by then... well I don't know.

It all just feels very sad and maybe I'm saying I'm defeated too early but I can't find a way to make it work. So I guess I also want to ask- if anyone has anything to help with this whether its a "how to study guide" or "how to get citizenship in other countries" or hell even a few kind words I would really, really appreciate it. Thank you.

#when you live with abusive parents your number 1 priority is getting out of there (with your sibling(s) if you can)#and then you can work from there!! with that stress of coming home to an abusive hellhole every day the world can and will look #just a little bit brighter #so admittedly i don't know a lot about gifted kid burnout syndrome (i just know it's very common!)#but it seems like something you could work on? eventuallly? and then perhaps a few years down the line you'll be able to think about #college again #but also! college and education are not the be all end all of human achievement and do not determine your worth #like that belief is fed to school age kids real hard but there's so much more to life. it takes all kinds!#good luck anon i hope you can get out of there and begin to plan for a brighter future for yourself <3 #secret #anonymous #confession #studying abroad #former gifted kid #gifted kid burnout #also idk if i should have called it a syndrome? feels weird. my bad

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