#but it's a little too obvious Cassian's got plot armor

[bethagain]

Ok but, I mean, does anyone else think Cassian Andor's kind of a Mary Sue?

[sarkastically]

(The thing that no one ever asked for but that I wanted to do anyway)

the headcanon challenge:

Who hogs the duvet?

Chirrut. Not just the duvet but the whole entire bed. Baze got used to sleeping up against the wall back when they were young because Chirrut was always crawling into his bed for warmth/because he had a bad dream/because Baze had a bad dream/because neither one of them could sleep. Chirrut is a restless sleeper and just takes all the space he can get, kicks, flails, rolls while Baze, when he can sleep, is pretty solid so it just made sense for him to make himself as small as possible and take up the least amount of space. He doesn't mind even when he gets an arm to the face in the middle of the night. Though he definitely just, like, locks an arm around Chirrut some night to hold him close for a few hours. And Baze runs hot anyway so he doesn't mind when Chirrut steals the blankets except that sometimes Chirrut makes himself into a blanket burrito and then rolls off the bed and the resulting cursing will wake Baze.

Who texts/rings to check how their day is going?

Baze. Worrywart Baze on his phone ALL. DAY. LONG. "Why haven't you messaged me back?" "What are you doing?" "Chirrut." "Where are you?" Also Baze uses full sentences with proper punctuation and very little shortened. Chirrut's responses however are fucking ridiculous. "i am 1 w the Force & the Force is w me. ;)" "....Chirrut, no."

Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts?

Oh man. Chirrut probably. In that Baze's gifts are very obviously gifts and are normally romantic even if they don't look like it to an outsider. Baze crafts a new lightbow for Chirrut. This is 10/10 on the gift scale for Chirrut but someone who doesn't know them wouldn't know that. By the same dent, Baze loves finding books that someone made their way out of the temple, buying them off the black market and bringing them home to read to Chirrut. And then they're love poems because of course they are. And Baze keeps at least two of the pockets of his flightsuit full of things that Chirrut just LIKES so he can hand them over when Chirrut is restless or sad.

Chirrut's gifts are harder to see because a lot of time they inlcude making Baze laugh. Or putting him into ridiculous situations that he can scoff at because Baze secretly loves that. Like getting them locked up in an Imperarial prison for the night where they have to break themselves out. Baze is going to raise holy hell about Chirrut doing this, but he is also going to love every minute of it. Chirrut is not about material gifts for the most part because what in the universe could possibly be good enough for Baze plus Baze doesn't actually need things to be happy whereas Baze just LOVES finding things to make Chirrut happy. So together they manage to collect junk constantly and then have to purge and start all over again, which is also part of the fun.

Who gets up first in the morning?

Chirrut sleeps better and is likely to wake up first if Baze is asleep. If Baze is not asleep then he has probably been up most of the night and is not happy about it in the least.

Who suggests new things in bed?

Chirrut. Hands down.

Who cries at movies?

Baze. Baze is the giant teddy bear. We all know this already. Not that they watch a lot of movies, but when they do it's Baze who gets emotional about them while Chirrut is salty about bad plotting.

Who gives unprompted massages?

Chirrut. Chirrut is always, constantly, forever touching Baze and always has. Plus he knows that Baze carries all of his goddamn worry and stress in his body so it's imperative to work those kinks out.

Who gets jealous easiest?

I think Baze used to get hurt jealous and insecure jealous in that he didn't think he was good enough for Chirrut, but that's pretty much gone. At this point they both enjoy watching other people get flustered when Chirrut flirts with everything around them but, of course, Chirrut will only ever go home with Baze because Baze is home for him.

Who collects something unusual?

Baze collects shit for the both of them, but none of it is really all that unusual. Chirrut has a small cache of items from their boyhood that he retains, though almost all of it are things that used to be Baze's when he was a Guardian so it's a handful of beads and shells and bells that he used to braid into Baze's hair. Again. None of what they keep is unusual. Some of it is impractical but it makes sense.

Who gets most excited about the holidays?

Chirrut. Chirrut remembers every single holy day and wants to celebrate all of them. (If those celebrations constantly turn into things that would not be considered temple appropriate, it's not his fault that Baze is so handsome and desirable that he can't control himself.) Baze is grumbly about holidays after the temple fall and can be a mocking shit while Chirrut practices, but he still loves them because Chirrut loves them.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

Chirrut, as mentioned above, is everywhere on the bed at all times so it's not uncommon for him to wrap his entire body around Baze or just sleep on top of him. But a lot of the time they start out with Chirrut as the little spoon. If Baze is having a particularly bad day/night, he will concede to being the little spoon. They switch back and forth a lot just depending on circumstances and space.

Who starts the most arguments?

This one is easy because Chirrut is a menace. But also a lot of their arguments aren't really arguments because Baze thinks Chirrut being a menace is hilarious. Actual fights are rare and far between and normally boil down to who put themselves in the line of trouble first so it flipflops because they're both idiots.

Who suggests that they buy a pet?

No one SUGGESTS a pet, but Baze keeps bringing strays home. Cats, dogs, humans, random weird insects that Chirrut doesn't like to touch. Baze is a softie and cannot stand the idea of things wandering around without homes. Chirrut, however, feels very badly about the situation other people and creatures are in but also knows that they have to have priorities.  

What couple traditions do they have?

Afternoon tea

Baze touching their foreheads together before they separate, which is a rare occurrence but sometimes necessary

Chirrut "blessing" all of Baze's armor and artillery by brushing his fingers over it each morning

"Honey, hold my flower" while the other fights until it becomes obvious that assistance is needed

Pretending that they are not ride or die 

Bickering in front of new people to throw them off and make it harder for them to suss out their weak points because people can get uncomfortable in front of married banter

What other couple do they hang out with?

Baze prefer not to, thank you. Also the only other couples he really knows all consist of at least one of their adopted children, and he does not want to think about them doing couple things together. So they do not do couple hangouts. It's more like parents hanging out with their fifteen hundred Rebel children.

Who brings flowers home?

BAZE! Chirrut brings home weapons.I mean, Baze also brings home weapons, but he's the only one who brings home flower. Chirrut does then put said flowers in Baze's hair and beard because his hair is too short, but Baze is not allowed to grumble because he brought the flowers, after all.

Who does Baze talk to about relationship issues?

Baze is only really emotionally open with Chirrut. The trouble is that he will hold onto them for a bit until Chirrut prods them tf out of him. It might be better if he had someone else he could talk to about them. Sometimes he and Jyn will work out various emotional frustrations through non-emotional weapon practice together, which is sort of the same thing.

And who does Chirrut talk to?

Anyone who will listen? But the thing is that Chirrut is talking about made up ridiculous relationship issues because he has, by this point, come to realize that the thing that makes the most sense is if he just comes out and tells Baze what's wrong. Baze will either laugh and fix it or be sad and fix it or they will get into a bantering match with each other and fix it. They haven't had a really large relationship issue since Baze left, and Chirrut swore to himself to make changes in their communication after that and has been pretty good at keeping to them. But he especially likes to bother Cassian with his pretend issues because the captain just oozes discomfort and "please stop" but is too polite to say it.

How do they make up after an argument?

Either in the sweetest, most teeth decaying way ever or by slinging more of those mock insults at each other until they're both laughing too hard to continue and then the kissing starts. Or with an endless amount of comfort because Chirrut always knows what Baze needs.