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#but like genuinely the longer it goes since i finished that godforsaken anime the more it matters to me?
hella1975
·
2 years
Text
my friend watched banana fish and im actually.... kinda annoyed about it
#this is SO DUMB
#but basically i did all the 'guys omg NEVER watch this show' with my mates when i finished bf
#while secretly hoping one of them would watch it so we could talk about it
#but like genuinely the longer it goes since i finished that godforsaken anime the more it matters to me?
#like 'matters to me' is a bad way of wording it bc it makes it sound like a GOOD THING
#and i mean it matters to me because it is so incredibly harmful to me individually
#like i really fucking projected some serious trauma in my life into that show partially bc of the time i watched banana fish
#and also just bc i see a lot of myself in ash which was something i realised in episode 1
#which meant i watched the ENTIRE thing aware of this just to have THAT ending happen. it was really devastating
#but at the same time im aware that 80% of the reason banana fish was so sad for me
#is bc of my own personal lens i watched it through
#the other 20% is just the fact it's an actual sad anime
#so now my friend has watched it and she's doing all the 'oh that was so sad! let's talk about it!'
#and im like idk how to tell you this but i CANNOT talk about it with you like i literally cant
#and for the past few months my whole 'omg NEVER watch this show' has actually been 100% serious
#like i do not want my friends touching this show it's MY thing it's very personal
#which is why this is such a dumb post like im literally trying to claim this anime
#but it's just actually kinda invalidating to have my close irls watch it in a very casual way
#it's one of those things where it's fine on tumblr bc tumblrinas GET IT bc NONE OF US are normal about our shows
#but people irl are so determined to consume media in a very normal way lmao
#and basically my friend is going to start making out i overreacted i just know she is
#and i cannot STAND even an insinuation that im being a baby about something but i also will prove her point
#if i go off on one about WHY bf is such a big deal bc i'll just look defensive
#does any of this make sense
#tldr: sharing media that's important to you is nice but also it's Bad and i want to Gatekeep
#banana fish
#probably
#delete later
#bc this is pathetic LMAO
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