#but likeu cant say

[stil-yr-sand]

and this is stuff thag u cant mention at all

^i dont thjnk ud be wble to talk ab the holocaust anyway bc of all the other dmn and blackist stuff 😭

[xxbl00ds0akeds3raxx]

Hang in there girl, don't let him get to you. You're way stronger than you give yourself credit for, and you have always, always deserved much better than what life handed you... He isn't worth it. He will never see you as the full person you are. He wants you to be a perfect doll, and that is not a role you can ever pigeonhole yourself into, with all your strengths and flaws... you're a wonderful, kind, opinionated and strong person. Don't let him break you

-Camille M.

tysm camilee <3 sorry 4 not replying sooner i wasan't sure what to say;;

i am hanging in there!!! ^^ life is crazy lolz. i hate it. m so tired. i literally wish i didn't exist i think things wld be so much better im so sick of stressing every1 out w stupid decisions i make :((((( like im not evn trying 2 be emo~~ woaawww edgelord dont cut urself on that edge X_X!!

its just ever since my conception my existence has just been. a bother,,. i ruined my mum's life n i cant stop thinking abt what it cld've been like if i just. hhhh. didn't. happen. :)

i wish i knew her.

i wish she wld reach out 2 me and contact me likeu do w ur daughter,,,

ifeel like shes the only 1 who wld undrstand what im worried abt rn. but maybe thats just delusional thinking bc. i nvr rlly knew her so,,, lol. who evn knows what she understands.

ur rlly too sweet to me!!1. "wonderful, kind, opinionated and strong" is so much,,,, im not stronger than i give myself credit 4 i know my limits very well. & kylar, imean if he wants a perfect doll he literally has 1 of me . fkn life sized perfect replica w my measurements shes so perfect & if h e wants me to be her so bad icant fucking do it xDD i'll never b herrrrrr 〒▽〒

thank u again. its rlly nice to hear from u and i appreciate everything u say evn if it feels wrong :(

[parhelionwave]

17

-started okay. Sleepkver I thought one for the better one for the worst. But not really bar just I guess compatible si cheap and no too unhealthy. Muy body is lime a trapbox that limits my inner self forma being fully but Also oh im affraid of the things in my brain so look at what ice done. Cant Hear the ñame of a disease ir ill feel something Weiss like Almost real that im feeling it, called hypochodriasis? Ir i thankful it through it was since last Hear it changed me, not only the pressure of being out, (Also a constant fear of dying young of knowing everytime the re out the y could die and i picture the next res days. But anyways it wasever since i got that horrible infection and wAs pre convulsión cant ever write that calmly, and Also the eh said like reuma of what ever and this like is not greát i altas think what id it happened to me. Not only wicha Tefa but merely close people. Why tho? Also cant finish projects if si called becase well still figuring this out but perhaps if i dont i cant fail of i cant be exoected to or cant screw up so sometimes uni seems senseless Also cause i do like things form it but others aré really shit and i really hope i couldve been from that other uvg. But whats the plan ?? Maybe masster plus work héroe while after that there musa be dr or master outside everything you do must strive towards it, how can a quitter be better? Guess moré motivation to be since it didnt work out i just figured it was work out somehow and okay and not perfect was okay but Numbers aré shit but counts what you do with them. Then Also i guess im ver y insecure, no yes, be acertive, i am insecure, starting with my fragile vulnerable weak earthly body. It se perfect cause it work but i dont like what my brain and feelings and the undealing of stuff has shaped it once more, guess i lied Shenny i liked it but overall is ok is just when you. Look at details that all is shit. But that not the origin is It? Whereeee well dunno pi was prettier young but still comp,exes sometimes fundsmented, like other times bro told me like unformed an nonose and other said sAggy and food and others said corn which i agree but of ocurre this not Who i am as a person. Except what am i really? Im really fucked up as it seems well at least it has been the most revealing couple of years of me what has Benín better? Not beso not fa the Maybe the s word tho not entirely, i admití have. Trouboe in. Rlationships invilvijg male, cause havent really been nesr them like healthy ones. Ive probs tresspass my resentment towards closest men to humEn an men of course, like not everything is destinen to fail but i Also have friends accordingly we dont really talk or i a out families or future or more deep intome stuff. Maybe my bonos are glass? But how wouldnt you just love that yeh? Even the comedy i like. Also ive never felt more close to a definition that not knowing one,is an excuse obvi. When it comes it will Riight? But afterwArds what ever you say sounds resentment like i just said im boring but really i mean i dont have enough confidencer or knowledge or criteria or e en interest like i lose attention quick cause dont really care just is smalltalk and se i forget i was going with this yes it was i don think i can ha de it becase of my self and i relationshio and dont really know what i want if im atteacted to people like my on close males im screwed and thinking of the other sido disgusts me mostly. Im projecting my feelings in Heras and she doesnt deserte that. It Also applies but honestly how can you not be find of him i just cant be intimate dis made me leaks like wiki. There s al was somethn innit. I gajes profesional sucesos Nd trying to be a parent but how can we fiñx it after all this time, leaks again with marshmellow colored buttons of letters whatever they be called. Dont think ive ever told him lik M like im weak or love u or scared i always guess dont i but, My heavy heart is made of stone but not really it ismt. Ever my pet is lovehTe shit Who would u love him? Cause you know is unreachable meaning want like you mesning on his feet and smarter mesning das not wati want but it kinda is tho, dreamed of telling him hey i like you not in that way but so i admiee u and example and likeu tho ive drawn you hehe. Want a ask someone but the. Comes compromise right and dunno disapp guess stop guessing tho, how can i know what i want? Disgrsce welcome to the human race. Try cause stillll die. Forgive, leadme to yogur love, dont les the esrthly stuff sbsorb me, when i was up al one but Also lonely thought almost due date but way should i need that ? I need you forevver snd always this is for you, i want you, feel giod for the right reas. Its whats missing but still dunno what i avoid seenit? Cause failue surely. Sorry and thanks are powerful.