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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

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11/14/2020 DAB Transcript

Ezekiel 29:1-30:26, Hebrews 11:32-12:13, Psalms 112:1-10, Proverbs 27:17

Today is the 14th day of November welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we continue our journey forward. I guess we’re…we’re approaching the middle of the 11th month now. We’re gonna cross through the middle of this month before the weekend is over. So, a month and a half left in this year and we have already discerned…we've already determined to finish strong and well. And, so, let's dive in. We are reading from the God's Word Translation this week, which is today. Ezekiel chapters 29 and 30.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for another week in Your word. And it really is true, we’re looking at the weeks that remain versus the weeks that we have already moved through and we see that there’s just a handful weeks left in this year. That seems strange but it is the reality. And ,so, as we as we look at that, we also take the time as we've done so many times this year to look back and see the way that You have them imprinted Your word on our heart and that it has spoken to us in profound and meaningful ways impacting our lives, impacting the ways that we've lived our lives this year and we’ve needed it more than ever because it's been one of the strangest years ever. And, so, we are grateful, and we turn our face forward with tremendous anticipation for all that You have yet to say to us this very year. So, come Holy Spirit, plant the words that were spoken today in the soil of our lives. May we cultivate them, may we care for them and may they sprout, and may they yield the harvest of the fruit of the Spirit within us we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it is the websites, it’s where you find out what’s going on around here. And You can also find out what's going on around here if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible after pretty much the same fashion by pressing the Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner of the app screen. So, stay tuned, stay connected.

Stay connected to the Prayer Wall. That's in the Community section of the website. And that is one of the most beautiful resources that we have, prayer - prayer for one another in a number of different ways. So, be aware of the Prayer Wall in the Community section.

We’ve been talking the last few days about the Global Campfire initiative that is occurring right now. We have…well we’ve gone a bit old-school and…which is new school now and pressed up some vinyl, a deluxe, beautiful, really beautiful vinyl addition of the Heart guided prayer album that we released in July of this year at…during the long walk. And it is gorgeous and…yeah…something to hold onto, a memento of 2020, a positive memento of 2020. And, so, we have it available and what we’re doing is saying, hey, anybody who can contribute a hundred dollars or more to this initiative we are continuing to pour into developing home base, which is the app and the technologies that will continue to connect us as we take the journey through the Scriptures. And anyone willing to contribute a hundred dollars or more to this initiative, we want to send you this vinyl addition of the Heart album. So, we had 500 of these pressed up and when they're gone, they're gone and at that point they become…well they become impossible to find. So, they’re something to hold onto. And I thank you profoundly for all of you who have already gotten on board with this. This directly affects how…what we’re doing in developing the app. Our next release will…well should conclude the Badges initiative that we had earlier this year and just being able to look at a glance and see where you are in the Bible from a number of different perspectives. But there is so much more on the docket as we continue to move forward and continue to make this home. And, so, if…if you can get involved, if you feel lead in that direction then thank you so very much.

If you have a prayer request or encouragement, then you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the red button up at the top of the app screen or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

This is Candace from Oregon I just want to touch base with Rebecca from Michigan. I hope your birthday was really special and look forward to hearing about it. And I just felt that the Lord wanted me to say to you, he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. And I would like to say a prayer over you. Lord, bless Rebecca from Michigan and thank you so much for her life, for all that you’ve done, and I pray that you will just pour a blessing on her. I pray Lord that she will find a true, true friend and life partner. I pray that her immediate problems with technology will straighten out, that she will solve that if she hasn’t already and be able to hear DAB every day without any problems. And I ask these things in Jesus’ name and for Jesus sake because I know that you Lord Jesus love her so dearly and gave your life for her. Thank you, Lord for everything that you’re doing, everything you already have done in her and all that is to come in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family this is Becky and Orlando it’s been a crazy year for all of us. I know 2020 is one year that just I’d like to not have happened. But anyway, I haven’t called in very much this year, but I’ve been listening and right now I’m a little bit behind. I’ve really enjoyed hearing all the new voices and being able to hear some of the old voices like Annette Allison and Shante. I’m so happy to hear from you again in Detroit and hearing that you’re going to come down to Florida. But I have an urgent prayer request for you. My mom is an atheist up in Massachusetts and things are pretty dire right now. Her husband has Parkinson’s disease and she’s now decided that she’s not gonna treat a UTI that he has and she just wants to speed up his progression and now he hasn’t woken up since Thursday and today’s Monday and he hasn’t had any food or drink. She’s not waking him up to feed him or anything or give him antibiotics. And, so, I’m just praying, praying, praying for his soul because as far as I know he is not a believer. And, so, I’m praying that he somehow in the state that he’s in surrenders to Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and am praying for my mom’s soul also. And if you guys can join me in prayer for that I would love it. So, I thank you guys and I look forward to checking back in again soon. All right. Bye.

Hi this is Christina I’m a child of God calling for prayer for my family. This Friday when…well…today is the eighth or the ninth, I’m not even sure but this past Friday when Brian…after Brian read about Ezekiel chapter 16 __ of God how He feels about Jerusalem and the betrayal I found out that my husband’s cheating on me. And it’s been a very tough weekend but God has given me a lot of peace and if it wasn’t for my faith in God and my…the Bible studies and this Daily Audio Bible that I’m so much in the word that I can be strengthened with His power to get through it but my son and my daughter are not believers and neither is he of course. Anyways, but could you please look them up in prayer. They are in a lot of pain. My daughter especially is devastated because she had her dad in very high regard. My daughter’s daughters name is Phoebe and my son’s name is Eric my husband is Humberto. He’s agreeing to go to a counselor to counselling or a therapist with me and he’s admitted to the affair. And, so, if you’d please keep me in prayer. Thank you.

Hey guys Eyes of a Dove here and much like Radiant Rachel and Big-Hearted Ben I’ve been compelled to involve my kids in the Daily Audio Bible prayer time. So, I’d like to introduce Ryland and Braden and we’re gonna pray for a couple people. I would like to pray for Joe. This is Ryland. Yeah. I would like to pray for Joe, yes Lord, and that his wife and his daughter turn to God so he doesn’t have to have a lot of stress and anxiety and they stop like hurting…and they’re just causing him a lot of hurt. Yes. And not judge him all the time. Yes, Lord we just pray that the mom and the daughter are saved, and Joe just feel strengthened and we hope to hear from Joe again. And here’s Braden. Hi, thank you guys for praying for me and helping me through my tough times and hopefully God can help some of you in the ways that He helped me. Yeah. Yeah thank you so much you guys and…for lifting up our…our other family member Izzy and how much Braden has felt the impact of your guy’s prayers. And that he can just be a leader to the other broken kids. And we’re praying for all the broken kids out there that are hurting just like Braden’s gone through and what Izzy’s going through and God we just lift and touch them. We just thank you so much Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Good morning my son is…is diagnosed with autism and he’s getting a little older now. And, so, he is dealing with meltdowns. And anybody that has autism…a kid with autism knows that they…a lot of them deal with meltdowns and his are now starting…they went from having one once every week may be every two weeks now he’s having them, three or four of them a day. And, so, he’s only 10, he’s getting bigger and he’s strong. And, so, he’s getting violent and it’s…he’s just such a sweet kid. And, so, it hurts me, and his mother’s feelings and it hurts our hearts to see him act out like that. We know that’s not what he wants to do but he can’t help it. And, so, we’re just praying…we still…just we still believe God’s gonna heal him completely from autism but we’re believing God to…to…to stop these meltdowns. They’re…they’ve gotten a little bit much, overbearing for both of us. So, we just ask you guys to pray and remember him. His name is Michael. Thank you, guys.

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amberlovesanimation · 7 years

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Open Me Carefully

I recently finished reading the book Open Me Carefully, which is a collection of letters, poems, and letter-poems Emily Dickinson sent to her close friend and sister-in-law, Susan Huntington Dickinson.

I decided to buy it after seeing Emily in a list of historical LGBT+ figures; although we’ll never know if their relationship was romantic or sexual in any way, it is clear from these letters that their connection was very deep on an intellectual and spiritual level.

Of course, as a bisexual female myself, I love to interpret them in a gay way, and below are some extracts that I particularly liked. (alongside my own little commentary now and then, sorry!)

(For some context, both women were born in December 1830)

“I wept a tear here, Susie - on purpose for you - because this “sweet silver moon” smiles in on me and Vinnie, and then it goes so far before it gets to you - and then you never told me if there was any moon in Baltimore - and how do I know Susie - that you see her sweet face at all? She looks like a fairy tonight, sailing around the sky in a little silver gondola with stars for gondoliers. I asked her to let me ride a little while ago - and told her I would get out when she got as far as Baltimore, but she only smiled to herself and went sailing on. I think she was quite ungenerous - but I have learned the lesson and shant ever ask her again.” - October 9, 1851

I LOVE how she describes Nyx the moon in this letter!!

“Will you let me come dear Susie - looking just as I do, my dress soiled and worn, my grand old apron, and my hair - Oh Susie, time would fail me to enumerate my appearance, yet I love you just as dearly as if I was e’er so fine, so you wont care, will you? I am so glad dear Susie - that our hearts are always clean, and always neat and lovely, so not to be ashamed. I have been hard at work this morning, and I ought to be working now - but I cannot deny myself the luxury of a minute or two with you. The dishes may wait dear Susie - and the uncleared table stand, them I have always with me, but you, I have “not always,” why Susie, Christ hath saints manie - and I have few, but thee - the angels shant have Susie - no - no no! [...] Oh my darling one, how long you wander from me, how weary I grow of waiting and looking, and calling for you; sometimes I shut my eyes, and shut my heart towards you, and try hard to forget you because you grieve me so, but you’ll never go away, Oh you never will - say, Susie, promise me again, and I will smile faintly - and take up my little cross again of sad - sad separation. How vain it seems to write, when one knows how to feel - how much more near and dear to sit beside you, talk with you, hear the tones of your voice - so hard to “deny thyself, and take up thy cross, and follow me -” give me strength, Susie, write me of hope and love, and of hearts that endured. [...] Only want to write me, only sometimes sigh that you are far from me, and that will do, Susie! Dont you think we are good and patient, to let you go so long; and dont we think you’re a darling, a real beautiful hero, to toil for people, and teach them, and leave your own dear home? [...] I must leave you now - “one little hour of Heaven,” thank who did give it me, and will he also grant me one longer and more when it shall please his love - bring Susie home, ie! Love always, and ever, and true!” - February 1852

Susan’s daughter Martha said “Her [Emily’s] devotion to those she loved was that of a knight for his lady.”

“Oh Susie, I would nestle close to your warm heart, and never hear the wind blow, or the storm beat, again. Is there any room there for me, or shall I wander away all homeless and alone? Thank you for loving me, darling, and will you “love me more if ever you come home”! it is enough, dear Susie, I know I shall be satisfied. But what can I do towards you? - dearer you cannot be, for I love you so already, that it almost breaks my heart - perhaps I can love you anew, every day of my life, every morning and evening - Oh if you will let me, how happy I shall be! [...] pretty soon I waked up saying “Precious treasure, thou art mine,” and there you were all right, my Susie, and I hardly dared to sleep lest some one steal you away. Never mind the letter, Susie; you have so much to do; just write me every weeks one line, and let it be, “Emily, I love you,” and I will be satisfied!” - February 1852

“dont you go Susie, not to their meeting, but come with me this morning to the church within our hearts, where the bells are always ringing, and the preacher whose name is Love - shall intercede there for us!” - February 1852

“And I do love to run fast - and hide away from them all; here in dear Susie’s bosom, I know is love and rest, and I never would go away, did not the big world call me, and beat me for not working. [...] When you come home, darling, I shant have your letters, shall I, but I shall have yourself, which is more - Oh more, and better, than I can even think! [...] Tis only a few days, Susie, it will soon go away, yet I say, go now, this very moment, for I need her - I must have her, Oh give her to me! [...] he [God] is very kind to let me write to you, and to give me your sweet letters, but my heart wants more.” - April 5, 1852

“I have thought of it all day, Susie, and I fear of but little else, and when I was gone to meeting it filled my mind so full, I could not find a chink to put the worthy pastor; when he said “Our Heavenly Father,” I said “Oh Darling Sue”; when he read the 100th Psalm, I kept saying your precious letter all over to myself, and Susie, when they sang - it would have made you laugh to hear one little voice, piping to the departed. I made up words and kept singing how I loved you, and you had gone, while all the rest of the choir were singing Hallelujahs. I presume nobody heard me, because I sang so small, but it was a kind of comfort to think I might put them out, singing of you. I a’nt there this afternoon, tho’, because I am here, writing a little letter to my dear Sue, and I am very happy. I think of ten weeks - Dear One, and I think of love, and you, and my heart grows full and warm, and my breath stands still. The sun does’nt shine at all, but I can feel a sunshine stealing into my soul and making it all summer, and every thorn, a rose. And I pray that such summer’s sun shine on my Absent One, and cause her bird to sing!” - Late April 1852

I joked on twitter about the gay agenda being to sing about missing your girlfriend when everyone else in church is singing hymns. Because of course they talked face-to-face whenever they were together, a lot of the letters were sent when Susan was away, so they’re filled with Emily’s pining for and missing of her. Later in this same letter she describes how she gathered flowers and an acorn and a snail shell to give to Sue once she returned which is absolutely adorable. She continues to gift her flowers throughout her life and in her poems compares both of them to flowers.

“Our last words were of you, and as we said Dear Susie, the sunshine grew so warm, and out peeped prisoned leaves, and the Robins answered Susie, and the big hills left their work, and echoed Susie, and from the smiling fields, and from the fragrant meadows came troops of fairy Susies, and asked “Is it me”? No, Little One, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor can the heart conceive” my Susie, whom I love.” - May 1852

I love how Extra™ Emily is with her romantic analogies in these early letters lmao

“And now how soon I shall have you, shall hold you in my arms; you will forgive the tears, Susie, they are so glad to come that it is not in my heart to reprove them and send them home. I dont know why it is - but there’s something in your name, now you are taken from me, which fills my heart so full, and my eye, too. It is not that the mention grieves me, no, Susie, but I think of each “sunnyside” where we have sat together, and lest there be no more, I guess is what makes the tears come. [...] we shall not be separated, neither death, nor the grave can part us, so that we only love!” - June 1852

“I have but one thought, Susie, this afternoon of June, and that of you, and I have one prayer, only; dear Susie, that is for you. [...] and when I look around me and find myself alone, I sigh for you again; little sigh, and vain sigh, which will not bring you home. I need you more and more, and the great world grows wider, and dear ones fewer and fewer, every day that you stay away - I miss my biggest heart; my own goes wandering round, and calls for Susie [...] Susie, forgive me Darling, for every word I say - my heart is full of you, none other than you in my thoughts, yet when I seek to say to you something not for the world, words fail me; If you were here, and Oh that you were, my Susie, we need not talk at all, our eyes would whisper for us, and your hand fast in mine, we would not ask for language - I try to bring you nearer, I chase the weeks away till they are quite departed, and fancy you have come, and I am on my way through the green lane to meet you, and my heart goes scampering so, that I have much ado to bring it back again, and learn it to be patient, till that dear Susie comes. [...] I add a kiss, shyly, lest there is somebody there!! Dont let them see, will you Susie?” - June 11, 1852

“And very, very often when I have waked from sleep, not quite waked, I have been sure I saw you, and your dark eye beamed on me with such a look of tenderness that I could only weep, and bless God for you. Susie, will you indeed come home next Saturday, and be my own again, and kiss me as you used to? [...] I hope for you so much, and feel so eager for you, feel that I cannot wait, feel that now I must have you - that the expectation once more to see your face again, makes me feel hot and feverish, and my heart beats so fast [...] Why, Susie, it seems to me as if my absent Lover was coming home so soon - and my heart must be so busy, making ready for him. While the minister this morning was giving an account of the Roman Catholic system, and announcing several facts which were usually startling, I was trying to make up my mind w’h of the two was prettiest to go and welcome you in, my fawn colored dress, or my blue dress.” - June 27, 1852

“And now, my absent One, I am hoping the days away, till I shall see you home - am sewing as fast as I can, I am training the stems to my flowers, I am working with all my might, so as to pause and love you, as soon as you get home.” - February 24, 1853

“Why dont you write me, Darling? Did I in that quick letter say anything which grieved you, or made it hard for you to take your usual pen and trace affection for your bad, sad Emilie? Then Susie, you must forgive me before you sleep tonight, for I will not shut my eyes until you have kissed my cheek, and told me you would love me. [...] I dont know which it is - I only know that when you shall come back again, the Earth will seem more beautiful, and bigger than it does now, and the blue sky from the window will be all dotted with gold - though it may not be evening, or time for the stars to come.” - March 5, 1853

“Will you write to me - why hav’nt you before? I feel so tired looking for you, and still you do not come. And you love me, come soon - this is not forever, you know, this mortal life of our’s. [...] I’m loving you at home - I’m coming every hour to your chamber door. I’m thinking when awake, how sweet if you were with me, and to talk with you as I fall asleep, would be sweeter still.” - February 28, 1855

“Her breast is fit for pearls, But I was not a “Diver” - Her brow is fit for thrones But I have not a crest, Her heart is fit for home - I - a Sparrow - build there Sweet of twigs and twine My perennial nest.” - 1850s

There’s also a poem that begins “Your - Riches - taught me - poverty!” which is pretty gay too so look that up if you want (it’s too long to type on here).

“for the Woman whom I prefer, Here is Festival - When my Hands are Cut, Her fingers will be found inside - [...] Take the key to the Lily, now, and I will lock the Rose” - 1864

“You must let me go first, Sue, because I live in the Sea always and know the Road - I would have drowned twice to save you sinking, dear, If I could only have covered your Eyes so you would’nt have seen the Water” - 1860s

Then there’s a letter-poem that begins “To miss you, Sue, is power” but again it’s too long so look it up!

“I would have liked to be beautiful and tidy when you came - You will excuse me, wont you, I felt so sick. How it would please me if you would come once more, when I was palatable.” - 1870s

“Susan knows she is a Siren - and that at a word from her, Emily would forfeit Righteousness” - 1876 or later

I love how she compares Susan to a siren, whom we all know is the gayest mythological creature.

“To own a Susan of my own Is of itself a Bliss - Whatever Realm I forfeit, Lord, Continue me in this!” - late 1870s

“Sue - to be lovely as you is a touching Contest, though like the Siege of Eden, impracticable, Eden never capitulates” - 1876 or later

“Susan- I dreamed of you, last night, and send a Carnation to indorse it - Sister of Ophir - Ah Peru - Subtle the Sum That purchase you” - 1876 or later

apparently at this time Emily’s handwriting made her “Y”s look like an “S” so the “you”s in this poem look like “Sou”, or Sue :D

“That Susan lives - is a Universe which neither going nor coming could displace” - spring 1880

“It was like a breath from Gibraltar to hear your voice again, Sue - Your impregnable syllables need no prop, to stand” - early 1880s

“With the Exception of Shakespeare, you have told me of more knowledge than any one living - To say that sincerely is strange praise” - early 1880s

Comparing her to Shakespeare!? Holy shit what a compliment !!

“Perhaps the dear, grieved Heart would open to a flower, which blesses unre- quested, and serves without a Sound.” - early October 1883

Emily sent this to Susan after her seven-year-old son had just died. I think it’s very touching how she tries to cheer her up a bit with a simple flower, as apparently Susan shut herself away for about a year after the death, so clearly words weren’t the biggest comfort to her.

“One of the sweetest Messages I ever received, was, “Mrs Dickinson sent you this Cardinal Flower, and told me to tell you she thought of you.” Except for usurping your Copyright - I should regive the Message, but each Voice is it’s own” - 1880s

“The tie between us is very fine, but a Hair never dissolves. Lovingly” - late 1885

Emily had fallen ill around this time so I think the tie being fine is because of the possibility of death, which she believed could not take away their love.

#and that's just a few extracts #Emily Dickinson #LGBT+#wlw #poetry #history

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palteringcecutiency · 8 years

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>Psii: Be honest with your brother.

-- martyrsLegacy [ML] has begun trolling palteringCecutiency [PC] --

ML: How is your evening going? PC: Rather well. PC: And how is yours? ML: I'm enjoying it! We're having cupcakes, I shant ask if you want any. ML: I do have a question, and I wont pretend I didnt message you to ask it

PC: Your restraint is appreciated, I'm. PC: Regardless. PC: Ask freely, I could never turn you away. ML: Caesurae recently showed me a conversation you had had with him where you became very angry suddenly and told him that he'd not been your friend on Beforus (which is understandable), but aside from a poorly phrased comment about not wishing to short his own pan I cannot see what caused the sudden shift, and I was wondering if you recalled? PC: http://caepaecaesurae.tumblr.com/post/156832275980/574rc45m-caepaecaesurae-entirely-fair-it ML: Ah. ML: I feel as if I should let you know that he has some sort of learning and processing disorder and does not always make the correct or any connections between different events and emotional responses. ML: I spend a great deal of time explaining what he has done wrong extensively in small language he can easily grasp PC: Then he'd best give up on our friendship. PC: Not that he had any problems on Beforus, but whatever his excuse is, he can have it. ML: This is not something he has told me to tell you, Psii, and I don't expect you to suddenly coddle him ML: Only to know he sometimes is that 'stupid'. PC: Of course not. PC: Then why tell me at all? PC: What purpose does it serve other to get me to change my behavior and my thoughts? ML: Occasionally it is a comfort to know these things when someone has somewhat baffling behavior. ML: I will explain to him what he did wrong. PC: I regret to inform you that this hardly explains anything. PC: /Possibly/ some of his most recent shit. PC: /Perhaps/. PC: But that is all. ML: I'm not speaking of the more distant past PC: And I'm only speaking of the past week. ML: Hm. I assure you that there are a great many things it affects, but I do not care to make this an argument of any sort. PC: ...I am hardly eager as well, today has been PC: tiring. ML: I'm sorry to hear ):B PC: Mm. PC: It is not like every night can be a good one. PC: I am fine, I just PC: I am not eager to push things into squabbling if it can be helped. ML: I certainly do not want to fight, so we're in accorance. PC: Then I suppose you can continue, if you wish, with what you were saying. ML: I do not recall, honestly. Thank you for showing me what I need to lecture him about. PC: Ah. PC: You're welcome, then. ML: Is there anything else I should know about? PC: ...that's a rather broad and loaded question. ML: Goodness is it? ML: Is there anything else you would like to bring to my attention DAoG: PC: ...I don't know. PC: ...all of our conversations are at knife point, and you'd both say that was my fault. PC: He's wishy washy and toys with me, but that didn't matter before, so why would it now? PC: He does his best to keep me on my toes, but why wouldn't he want me off my guard. PC: He insists on wanting to be friends but runs every chance he gets and breaks it off on a whim and blames me. PC: I don't know what you want me to tell you, or why. ML: I don't believe hes been showing me all the logs ):B How is he toying with you and keeping you on your toes? -- palteringCecutiency [PC] sent file logs.zip! -- PC: See for yourself, not that I think you'll believe me. -- martersLegacy [ML] has accepted file logs.zip -- ML: Pardon there are quite a few of them and they are all long. ML: You think he is trying to get rid of you? PC: ...fuck. ML: ):B PC: ...I don't think so. PC: ...I know so. ML: How do you know? PC: How can I not know, Kankri. The signs are everywhere. PC: Either you're blinded to them or you don't care, and I already know that. ML: I must be blind then ):B PC: ...knew that too, regardless. PC: You're too smitten not to be. ML: Whatever else you might think, I won't allow you to be taken from me again. PC: I so dearly wish that was true. PC: But I know better. PC: Things can get easily twisted until you drop such a thought. PC: And I know you side with him. ML: I do not call you brother lightly, Psii ML: And the night we found each other again was one of the most joyous in my existance. ML: Caesurae and I may eventually part ways as we drift apart ML: But I'm afraid you're stuck with me. PC: I PC: I missed you, so much. When we were apart. And I was so happy that you found me in the bubbles. PC: But PC: here PC: is different. PC: ...so different. PC: ...I find myself wishing for Alternia once more, as stupid as that is. ML: Would you like me close tonight? PC: I PC: I don't know. PC: I want you close always PC: but I am at Horuss's. ML: Oh, dear ):B ML: I am glad that you and he are enjoying each other so much PC: I'm sorry. ML: There isn't anything to be sorry about, I'm glad you have another person now PC: I would rather have you back. :c ML: ):B I don't want to ask you to leave him, and I'm not comfortable enough with him yet. PC: ...I was speaking more in general. ML: I don't understand? PC: You PC: You're quite PC: ...you have a life, now. PC: With friends and quadrants and clade and a business. PC: And so does Mother, and Meulin. ML: Oh no ):B ML: I thought you wanted more independence ML: You know I can always bring hive inventory work, or have you over at the shop? PC: ...I do want more independence. PC: Because all of you have adjusted and moved on PC: and I have to live with that now. ML: I want you to be a part of my life, Psii PC: Your life does not have room for me aside from an occasional mention. PC: And even if it did, you do not need another burden. PC: You have too many already. ML: That sounds as if you have decided for me PC: No, I just counted the days you did not come hive, for so many reasons. ML: ):B PC: It's been a cycle, Kankri. PC: I'm used to it. PC: I don't expect anything anymore, you are your own troll and always have been, and if that is where you want to go, I have no place to object. ML: You are still my family. PC: And he is your quadrant. ML: Did you feel this way about Meulin? PC: ...yes. PC: But she has her own life as well, and quadrants, and I don't fit into it either. PC: The same with Mother. ML: Her 'life' is running around in the woods because she is too restless to stay with us, we're too boring. ML: ..pardon for that PC: ...regardless. ML: I haven't gone anywhere, I'm right here. PC: ...I know. PC: ...that makes it worse. ML: ):B ML: I want you close to me PC: ...I do too. PC: So fucking much. PC: I want to rip you away and steal you and hiss at anyone who tries to take you from me again. PC: But you /picked him/. PC: And you /love him/. PC: And I fucking /promised/ I wouldn't fucking do that, like some fucking wide eyed idiot who thinks things work the fuck out ever. PC: fuck. ML: Psii, start coming to work with me PC: yes PC: of course PC: the solution to this is to wedge me into a building with cronus and the demoness every night PC: brilliant as ever ML: ):B ML: Will you not even try? PC: kankri i can barely stand myself every night PC: how am i supposed to put up with /him/ PC: and youd get mad if i got blood on everything ML: I have faith in you, and also a nice back room where someone can take breaks when they need to PC: you have faith in everyone PC: i just PC: where are you ML: Hive, now. PC: coming ML: I'll get us a thick warm blanket PC: love you ML: I love you as well

-- palteringCecutiency [PC] gave up trolling martyrsLegacy [ML] --

PC: [[ Psii at one point got very somber over a while of messages back and forth with Kankri, then kind of miserable, and then eventually said he had to go find his brother and apologized for leaving him ]]

methodicalauxilium: [[ Dl tries to help psii Not get super duper depressed, but he doesn't really know if he should get involved between him and Kankri, so he just mostly does it with snugs. When Mituna says he needs to leave, darkleer just says it's perfectly alright for him to do whatever he needs, and that there will be more time later. ]]

PC: > Go attach yourself to your brother and fail not to start crying the moment you're bundled up with him. > Being miserable is hard, it's hard and nobody understands.

ML: >Shh shh shh hes here, he has you.

PC: > Congratulations Kankri, he has acquired a sniveling mess of a brother who very obviously loves him to death but has so many issues getting in the way. > One that isn't going to be easily pried off until at least the morning.

ML: >He is fine with this, perhaps he should take a day off of work and spend it with Psii.

PC: > You'll feel remarkably guilty about that, and try to get him to go anyway (you're fine, damn it) but your missing him is too much for you to win against his stubbornness.

#posted ooc #martyrslegacy #Honorable Mention:#methodicalauxilium #caepaecaesurae #the zip file link is technically only supposed to be Psii's messenger logs with Cae #but fuck if I'm going to link all of them on their own so that's what's closest

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