#but now i know and even though i was already sad about asuma it's worse now :(

[panharmonium]

@dreamersscape​ - in response to your notes on that other post, oh my gosh, YES, i didn’t even write anything up about Guy, but he really was a HERO in these episodes.  You described it so well - his way of taking care of Kakashi is clumsy sometimes, but it’s in such a pure way that it doesn’t matter.  

I remember thinking something along the same lines after I finished Season 10, when I saw that episode where Kakashi is about to be named Hokage and Guy challenges him to a footrace - I loved that one so much, because it was right after Kakashi and the kids got back from that horrible confrontation with Sasuke, and I remember I felt terrible because Kakashi was coming back from a situation where he a) discovered the real history behind what happened with Itachi and the Uchiha clan, and b) thought he was going to have to kill his own kid, and then before he even has a chance to breathe, the village is like “someone needs to step in as hokage we’ve nominated you,” and he doesn’t even want that job; it’s the last thing he wants to do right now, but he feels like he has to do it, and I just wanted someone to ask him “hey uhh are you okay” - and then Guy showed up!

And like you said, he takes care of Kakashi in his own kind of clumsy, sometimes shortsighted way - he doesn’t understand what’s happened, and Kakashi doesn’t confide in him, either, but Guy still literally checks him all over from head to toe to make sure he’s not hurt, and then he challenges him to that stupid race, which turns out to be the best possible thing anyone could have done.  Kakashi has FUN; he’s LAUGHING; he tells Guy, “This was just what I needed.”  

Guy may not be the friend who always understands everything, or with whom Kakashi necessarily wants to have deep, spill-your-guts conversations about his innermost thoughts, but that’s not the only kind of friend a person needs!  Sometimes you need somebody who will just BE THERE, and who will work to cheer you up whether you talk about your problems or not.  Guy’s particular type of caring is perfect for Kakashi, who doesn’t necessarily open up to people and who would really be in trouble if “sharing your problems” were a prerequisite for people trying to help him - Guy is so determined and passionate about being a good friend that it doesn’t matter to him if Kakashi is as unreceptive as a rock; that just spurs him on to greater heights XD

Guy takes care of Kakashi like this, basically:

and Kakashi just has to deal with it.  It’s good for him.

[ahkaraii]

Rarepair generator: Hinata/Shino (1840 words)

Hinata’s stutter got worse when she was nervous, this Shino knew.

“It is all right,” he repeated. “Crying is a privilege not all shinobi have. Therefore, cherish it.”

Hinata’s stutter was so bad he couldn’t understand it. But Shino was a self-proclaimed expert in microexpressions: in the subtle twitch of a shoulder, a finger, a shift of the knee. Hinata was angry.

Shino went down to his knees. There was a flea dying in the grass, cast-off from Akamaru’s latest bath, and he gently gathered it onto his finger. “Chemicals in human skin are toxic to certain bugs,” he said, by rote. “They absorb everything without discrimination, to their detriment. Therefore, we Aburame are bred not to produce--"

“S-S-S-Shino-k-k-kun,” Hinata said. “S-St-t-top.”

The flea would die if he didn’t do something, but, then again, it would die even if he tried everything. It was all, in the end, quite useless.

Unfortunately, Aburame were physiologically incapable of tears. He leaked fruit flies, instead, their little proboscis seeking sugar to counteract the salt that Shino’s cell walls provided. To what end? Shino had asked his father, once, and his father had replied: To strike fear into the hearts of our opponents, even when we are at our most vulnerable.

“Hinata-chan, Shino-kun!”

It was Kurenai-sensei. She’d watched the tableaux of them unfold from afar, and had come to fix it up again.

“Did you make Hinata-chan cry, Shino?”

“N-N-N-o-”

“Yes,” Shino interrupted. “I believe I must have.”

“NO!” Hinata was crying again, but this time, Shino understood, it was from frustration. He believed he understood that chemical emotion, of being incapable of communication. The Aburame had different tells than normal humans, and human body language was Shino’s third or fourth language, if one did not count the flashing of fireflies or the tell-tale vibration of locusts. But how could he let her know?

“Hinata-chan,” Kurenai-sensei said. “Take a deep breath. In. Out. Good girl.”

Shino breathed in and out as well, diffusing oxygen into his blood and body cavity so that his hundred thousand selves could breathe, too. For a minute, everyone concentrated solely on gas exchange. Then, Kurenai-sensei nodded decisively.

“Do you feel better?” She said.

Hinata nodded, but chose not to speak. Her body language was small. All of her was small. Shino liked small things: he liked gently exploring the antennae of ants and the legs of crickets. They were both cute and functional, which made him happy. But Hinata was not feeling happy, he understood. Hinata was often sad, and angry, and frustrated, her body too small for the profundity of emotions that wrecked it from the inside, like Shino’s body had been too small for the hundred thousand insects that had colonized him as a boy, that he’d encouraged to grow, because he had felt so sad when they died, to the point where his father had had to come in and destroy half of them, destroy half of Shino’s happiness, to let him live.

“I apologize, Hinata-san,” Shino said, subdued. “For making you sad.”

“It wasn’t you,” Hinata said, very, very softly. “It was, um...something my father said.”

“Oh,” Shino said. “Then I am only sad that you are sad.”

Hinata huffed out an odd noise. He thought he was an expert in microexpressions, but this one was hard to parse, until he heard the melody of it, and he understood that Hinata was giggling. Shino leaked a couple of fruit flies before he got a hold of them again.

“Haha,” he said, instead.

Kurenai-sensei’s hand gently placed itself on his hair, unafraid of the myriad insects that immediately rushed to explore the foreign object that had invaded their nest. Shino was grateful she did not pat it, because it might harm his headlice, which he had very carefully cultivated off the skull of a dying shinobi, because they would have died without his interference, and death had always made him sad, to his detriment.

“Thank you, Shino-kun,” Hinata said, as quiet as two blades of grass. “I’m s-sorry I upset you.”

“I am not upset,” Shino said. “Why? Because it is not an emotion beneficial to shinobi.” Neither were cultivating harmless fruit flies, or secreting away useless headlice, but no one had to know.

Hinata bit her lip and looked away. Kurenai-sensei’s hand tensed in his hair.

“I lied,” Shino said abruptly. “I am upset.” He looked down into the grass, where Akamaru’s flea had died. “I am quite sad, I think.” Human words were difficult. He wished they could hear the shrill cries of the cicada, their lives as long as a day, living only to die. Maybe then they could understand each other.

“It’s okay to be sad,” Kurenai-sensei said. “It’s okay to be frustrated. Don’t deny your own feelings.” She sat down on the ground, and patted the grass, and they sat next to her, both he and Hinata, her toy soldiers with feelings too large for their bodies. “When I’m sad, I practice genjutsu. I can channel those emotions into something productive.”

Hinata wilted, and murmured something subvocally. 

“What if you are too sad to practice genjutsu?” Shino said, automatically giving her voice as he did for his insects.

“Well,” Kurenai-sensei said. “Then I talk to a, um--to someone.”

“Asuma-sensei?” Shino guessed. He had never spoken to the foul-smelling Sarutobi, all of him afraid of the man’s casual fire breathing, but if Kurenai-sensei meant him, then he would give it a try.

“No! I mean,” Kurenai-sensei hid her face in her hands. “Ach!” She composed herself and put her hands on her knees. “Right. I talk to someone like Asuma-san. A friend.”

Shino thought of talking to his cousin, Aburame Torune, but Torune-san had gone on a mission for Danzo-sama years ago and had never come back. He wondered if he could talk to the descendants of Torune-san’s nanoparticle-sized rinkaichu, the ones that he now housed near his eighth chakra gate, and the very last he’d ever use in a fight, if it came to it, because they were so precious to him. It was too risky to let them out, though, and not just because they devoured flesh nigh-indiscriminately. They simply had no ears to hear him.

“What if you have no friends?” Shino asked.

“Excuse me!” Kurenai-sensei said. “Am I not your friend, Shino-kun? Is Hinata-chan not your friend?”

“I believe you are my teammates,” Shino said.

“Y-you can t-talk to me, Shino-k-kun,” Hinata said. “U-um, if you d-d-don’t mind.”

Shino thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. “Then I extend the same courtesy to you, Hinata-san.” She was his friend, he thought, and the weevils that lived in his esophagus scurried up to his mouth, startled by the production of acid. He swallowed them reflexively.

“Wonderful!” Kurenai-sensei said. “Whenever you feel sad, I want you two to find each other, and talk about why you are sad.” She held Hinata’s hand in her right and Shino’s in her left. “Hinata, Shino. Listen to me very carefully. To be a shinobi is to endure, but endurance is not built through denial. Talking through your feelings is like flexing a muscle. Someday you’ll get strong enough that you won’t have to say anything, but, until then, I want you two to go through the motions, okay?”

“Understood,” Shino said.

“Okay,” Hinata said. “Um. W-why don’t you s-start? S-Shino-k-k-kun.”

Shino paused. Why was he sad? It was harder than he realized to pinpoint the origin. He was sad Akamaru’s bath had killed his fleas, the very same Shino had befriended only a day prior; that Kurenai-sensei had sat upon five ants that were still sending out pheromones of panic and pain; that his father and his father’s father and his father’s father’s father had chosen to sacrifice tear ducts for nesting grounds, because they were unnecessary to a shinobi; that all he had left of Torune was a square milimeter’s worth of inbred bugs that he could not communicate with, jailed away near his heart, that would only be released upon his death, to devour him, to devour everything, until they, too, died for lack of a heart to keep them.

“Use your words, Shino-kun,” Kurenai-sensei said gently, through the small mist of insects that flitted about in response to Shino’s upset.

“I am sad,” Shino said, “because everything is so large.”

“Very good, Shino-kun,” Kurenai-sensei said. “That’s a good start. I’m proud of you for admitting that.”

Hinata squeaked when Kurenai-sensei turned to her.

“U-uh-um,” Hinata said, bright red, already sweating. “I-I-I’m,” she bit her lip, and closed her eyes, and said, like it was being torn away from her, “I’m sad I am so small! And weak! And useless!” She gasped, and started crying.

“Shh, Hinata-chan, I’m proud of you for saying that, it’s okay...”

Shino stared at Hinata’s arched back, the way she was trying to disappear into her hands, as if by sheer will she could shove the tears back into her eyes.

“I can’t cry,” he said. “That makes me sad, too.”

Hinata wailed. Kurenai-sensei looked like she had bitten off more than she could chew.

“But,” Shino said louder. “I have fruit flies, instead.” They poured out from behind his sunglasses, buzzing insistently, drowning the cacophony of Hinata’s upset. “They’re small, and weak, and useless, and my father would tell me to get rid of them, if he knew, because they’re not functional. But! I find them really cute! I like them a lot!”

He plowed on like there was a gate open, and he couldn’t stop himself.

“They eat fruits by licking them with a really long tongue! It’s called a proboscis and I’ve bred mine to have really, really long ones, because it’s super cute! Everyone thinks they’re pests, even my own family, and that makes me really, really sad, because they’re not! They like bananas and beer and--and--” Shino hiccuped oddly and coughed out a whole rhino beetle, which fell flat on its back and started wiggling its little legs, incapable of turning upright on its own.

Shino stopped and stared at it, feeling abruptly quite tired.

To his surprise, Hinata reached out, and very gently, turned it around. It rushed back up his knees, up his shirt, and neck, meeting a dead end when Shino would not open his mouth, his lips a thin line of self-disappointment.

“U-Um,” Hinata said. “I-I think they’re cute, t-too.”

The beetle scurried into his open mouth and down his throat.

“You do?” He said, stunned.

“Yes,” Hinata said, and tried to wipe at the tears and snot that now made a mess of her face. “I-I used to w-watch them, in the garbage.”

“You two...” Kurenai-sensei placed her hand on both their heads, this time. “You two are the cutest students I’ve ever had, okay! I think you are both very adorable, and strong!”

Shino’s headlice ran to the base of his skull, afraid of the force of Kurenai-sensei’s hold. But Shino felt very happy. He had two new friends, now, and one of them even liked his fruit flies.

[kusunogatari]

                                                            [ @redlineoffate ]                                                                   𝕩     𝕩     𝕩                                                                   𝕩     𝕩     𝕩                                                                   𝕩     𝕩     𝕩  

“Remember everyone: this assignment will be due at the beginning of class Monday. I know it’s only been the first week, but there will be a quiz to follow.”

A quiet groan seems to come from most of the class, and the teacher perks a brow.

“It can always be worse - just get the sheet done, brush up a bit, and I’m sure you’ll all do just fine. Other than that, have a good weekend.”

“Yeah, good weekend with that hanging over our heads,” a boy behind Itachi mutters as the bell rings, releasing them from their final class of the day. “Like every other teacher hasn’t done the same thing ‘til we’re overloaded…”

Not having any comment, Itachi simply gathers up his supplies and heads out with the rest of the students. In truth, he’s been waiting for Friday just like the rest of them, but for another reason.

The club he’s been in for all of high school only meets on Friday, and he can finally get back to it: the chess club. Putting away his books into his locker, he makes his way down the hall to the classroom they’ve always used.

But, when he gets there...it’s locked. That’s odd. Carefully testing the knob and looking through the narrow window, he sees the lights off, blinds drawn.

“Ah, Itachi…”

Looking aside, he spies the teacher typically in charge of the club, Asuma Sarutobi, coming down the hall toward him, hands in his pockets. “Mr. Sarutobi...is there no club meeting today?”

“I’m afraid not.” A hint of a scowl colors his features. “I was hoping I’d get here before to explain, but...the club’s been shut down.”

“What?!” Though normally quiet and reserved, Itachi can’t help the outburst. “But...why?”

“There’s a few reasons. The way clubs are set up has changed with some new school rules, and there’s been a...redistribution of funds for after school activities. Sadly, the chess club was at the bottom of the list.”

“But...we don’t need any funding.” What could they be spending money on?

“Well, there’s the driver’s time and gas for any competitions we go to. And the supervisor has to be paid. I told them I’d go without, but it’s a requirement legally, apparently. Add in the ‘used power’ to keep the lights on -” Asuma practically growls at that “- and I guess we’re just not worth the cost.”

Itachi’s heart sinks. He’s been in this club all through high school, and was even in his junior high branch. “...can we raise the funds ourselves?”

“I asked, they didn’t really give me a straight answer. I talked to most of the students in the club previously at lunch, but...most didn’t seem that dedicated. They seemed fine just letting the club go.” Asuma claps a hand on Itachi’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Itachi. That’s just how it goes. It’s honestly a shame...given that most of the funding was rerouted into more legit clubs...in other words, all the sports teams for this season. They bring in more revenue for the school than a chess club.”

The Uchiha bows his head, expression somber. “...thank you for your dedication to the club, Mr. Sarutobi. I’m...sad to see it go, but some things we can’t change.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something else to do and enjoy after class, Itachi. Most should still be accepting members for another week or so, so you’ve got time to find something new.” Smiling grimly, Asuma then offers, “I’d best get going...see you around.”

“Goodbye.” Left standing in the hall, Itachi mulls the situation over for a time before sighing in resignation. About-facing, he instead heads to the large bulletin board near the main school entrance.

There, posters and sign up sheets abound for all of the other clubs still in operation. Most are sports, which Itachi has little interest in. While part of him thinks to simply go without a club activity this year, he knows it looks good on his college applications - the more activities, the better.

“...oh!”

Glancing over at a familiar voice, Itachi can’t help a slight perk in his expression. “Ryū,” he greets, seeing her approach, a poster in her hands. “...here to put something up?”

“Yes, actually.” She gives him a smile, and he can’t help a small flutter of butterflies in his stomach. Excusing herself past him, she fetches a few tacks and puts up her flyer.

It’s for...the theater club?

“Looking for more members?”

“Mhm. Ms. Yūhi was absent for the beginning of the week, so a poster didn’t get done until now. I worked on it during my art class, and thought I might as well put it up! No one will see it until Monday, but…” Her shoulders shrug. “I thought it couldn’t hurt.” It’s then she thinks to look to him curiously. “...doesn’t the chess club meet on Friday?”

Expression falling, Itachi hesitates a moment before explaining.

Looking surprised, Ryū then gives him a sympathetic look. “Oh...I’m sorry. I know you really liked that club.”

“I did, but...well, I can still play chess on my own time. It’s a shame, but -” he gestures to the board “- I’m glad there are still so many clubs up and going.”

“Were you...thinking of joining something else?”

“I was.”

“Well...you could always join the theater club!” Ryū brightens a bit, and her smile begets one of his own. “Even if you don’t want to perform, we could always use help in other ways! People help build sets, manage the lights and sound...it takes a lot more than just the actors to make a show!”

He...hadn’t really considered it that way before. “...I...suppose I could…?”

“Well, I don’t want to pressure you.” Her smile turns sheepish. “I mean...I’ve been in the club all through high school, so...I’m a little biased. But if you do decide to join, we’d love to have you!”

Itachi gives her a smile in turn. “I will think about it. There’s a number of options, after all.”

“That’s fine! We haven’t begun any rehearsals yet, so there’s plenty of time to mull it over.”

“How often do you meet?”

“Well, now that Ms. Yūhi is back, every Monday and Friday! Usually for an hour or two, it depends on everyone’s schedules. Most of the members are underclassmen, so they’re not as busy as us seniors.”

Two nights a week...surely he could handle that. Chess club took less time, and Itachi does typically have a mountain of homework from his upper level classes, but… “I believe I could handle that.”

“Okay! Well, you think it over, and I’ll check back with you on Monday. I guess, either way, I’ll see you then!”

Itachi nods, watching her go before directing his attention back to the bulletin board. The poster she made is quite nice. He doesn’t recognize any of the plays listed that they’ll be doing, but...then again, he’s not overly familiar with plays, anyway.

Already he’s fairly certain he’ll join. Working backstage doesn’t sound so bad, and it’s not too often, or for too long. He should be able to handle his class workload alongside it just fine.

And...there’s another reason.

Itachi has known Ryū since they were fairly young. Her father Jiraiya teaches the literature class in their high school, and Itachi’s father Fugaku - chief of their city’s police - has known him for quite some time. And it helps that their little brothers - Sasuke and Naruto (whom Jiraiya raises as his godson) - are so close.

And, well...over the years, Itachi’s become rather...fond of her. Maybe...more than fond. So, getting to spend a little extra time with her - especially given that so few of their classes overlap - would be...nice.

...that’s all.

With that settled, he retreats to his locker to retrieve his things, mind already buzzing with his weekend schedule...and looking forward to Monday.

Arriving home, he calls out a greeting into the house, prompting his mother to stick her head out of the living room curiously. “Shouldn’t you be in chess club?”

“No...it was cancelled.”

“...the meeting today? Or…?”

Itachi sighs. “The entire club.”

“Oh no...I’m sorry, dear.”

“It’s fine...I think I’ll join something else come Monday.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. The theater group.”

Mikoto blinks, clearly a bit surprised. “...oh! I...wasn’t expecting that,” she admits with a laugh. “What made you decide on that?”

“...there’s backstage work to be done. It would be a change of pace.”

As though sensing her son is leaving something out, Mikoto eyes him curiously. “...I see. Any friends in that club?”

“Just one. At least, that I know of.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.” A pause, but he can tell she’s awaiting a name. Sighing a bit (and going ever so slightly pink around the ears), Itachi admits, “Ryū Suigin has been part of it all through high school.”

At the girl’s name, Mikoto perks up, clearly elated. “Oh, I see!” She gives him a wry smile. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have fun! We’ll have to come watch the plays!”

“I won’t be in them…”

“But you’ll still be part of them! If we can go to your chess competitions, we can go to your plays,” she insists.

Amused, Itachi just gives her a smile before heading upstairs to his room, dodging Sasuke as he runs down the stairs. “Careful!”

“Sorry!” the younger brother calls.

“Be back before dinner!” Mikoto instructs, earning a ‘yes Mom’ in return as Sasuke flies out the front door.

“Heading to Naruto’s?” Itachi asks from the stairwell.

“Of course,” his mother replies. “Something about a new game? I’m not sure.”

Nodding, Itachi heads to his room, shutting his door and preparing for an evening of homework.

For once, the weekend seems to go slowly. Itachi decides to blame it on his eagerness for Monday to arrive. Not something most students do, admittedly. But when the day finally comes, the first thing he does this morning is seek out Ryū.

She’s easy enough to find, chatting with another student before looking over and spotting him. Excusing herself, she walks over to meet him, smiling. “So, going to join us?”

“I am,” he replies, unable to stop a smile in return.

“Oh, perfect!” Hands clap together excitedly. “I really hope you enjoy it! We always end up like a big family, working together so much on each play!”

“Even us in the background?”

“Of course! Every role in the production is important, not just the people who act.”

Before Ryū can explain more, the warning bell sounds before first class. “Well...I guess we can talk about it more after school - see you then!”

“Where do I go?”

“Oh, just up on the stage! We practice there with the curtain closed. We haven’t really started yet given our first meeting was Friday, so you haven’t missed much, don’t worry.”

Nodding, Itachi heads in one direction as Ryū takes another for their first classes of the day.

It’s rare that someone as eager to learn as Itachi looks forward to the school day ending, but...well, this is an exception. Once the final hour block is done, he navigates the hall to the door that leads to the stage. He’s never been up here before. Never had a reason to be. He’s never even gone to see any of the school plays. Something he feels a little bad about, given that Ryū has been in pretty much all of them. It’s just...never really occurred to him before.

The lights are on, which he takes as a good sign. The far wing is filled with old props and backdrops, but the actual stage is clear save for a gathering of folding chairs, and a piano. On this side, out of sight of the open curtain, looks to be all of the sound and lighting equipment. These he looks at curiously, as they’ll probably be what he works with the most.

Itachi’s also not the first to arrive.

Around a dozen other students - mostly underclassmen, from what he can tell - mingle around, talking quietly. His entrance draws a few glances, but they otherwise ignore him.

“Itachi!” Looking up from a stack of boxes, Ryū approaches.

“Hello.”

“Not everyone’s here yet, so we’ll wait a bit. You’ve probably never had Ms. Yūhi as a teacher, right…?”

“I have not.” As the art teacher, she’s not one Itachi’s ever had a class with.

“I’ll introduce you!”

Leafing through a play’s score, Kurenai looks up as the pair approach. “So, this is the young man you wrangled into joining us?” she asks, smiling wryly.

“I didn’t force him! I just...suggested it,” Ryū insists.

“Of course…” Holding out a hand, she lets him shake it. “Kurenai Yūhi.”

“Itachi Uchiha.”

“Miss Suigin’s been telling me all about you.”

Itachi gives her a curious glance, and Ryū’s cheeks go pink. “...has she, now?”

“She’s been very excited to have you join. Ryū is actually the only senior who’s returned this year...which makes you senior number two. I’m willing to bet she’ll end up being voted club president and make sure everything runs smoothly - she’s been very dedicated to the club since she joined. Maybe she’ll even get a lead role, hm?”

“Ms. Yūhi!” Ryū cuts in, looking embarrassed.

“I’m just glad we have someone who’s still passionate about the club,” the teacher replies with a smile. “We were in danger of being one of the after school activities shut down this year, but she fought against it with me.”

“...really?” Itachi asks. “She didn’t mention that.”

Ryū glances aside. “I...didn’t want to make you feel bad about the chess club…”

“Ah, yes...Asu-” Kurenai cuts off, coughs, and then amends, “...Mr. Sarutobi told me about that. A shame...but I guess that’s why you’re here instead, Itachi?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, it’s not chess, but I’m sure you’ll have fun. Ryū suggested you’d likely prefer a more behind-the-scenes role than one on the stage, correct?”

“Er, yes.” Itachi itches at his neck sheepishly. “...I’m not sure I’m acting material.”

“That’s just fine - we can always use more hands behind the curtain to make things run smoothly. Today we’re going to do introductions, and see who wants to do what. And there will be time to move people around as they try things out, and maybe change their minds.”

Nodding, Itachi follows Ryū to a few of the chairs, arranged in a ring. “We’ll all sit here and talk about roles! Friday was more of an introduction and explaining about the club, so...we’ll get into actual work today.”

“...should I introduce myself?”

“Sure! Once everyone’s here, we’ll let them know you joined!”

Ten more minutes pass before Kurenai calls the students together. “Welcome back, everyone. First, you may notice we’ve gained one more troupemate since Friday.”

Realizing that’s his cue, Itachi stands, offering, “I’m Itachi Uchiha, a senior. I...hope we���ll get along.”

Kurenai smiles at him, and a few people wave in greeting. “Now, today we’re going to start going over roles for the troupe. We, of course, have our acting cast...but also those who play more supportive roles. The people who handle the lights, the sound, build props and sets...and even handle the camera during the days we film for copies of the play to sell. Usually we figure out those roles first, and then move into who can play who in the play itself. First off, a show of hands of who would like to be part of the support cast?”

A few hands raise, including Itachi’s. Kurenai counts and jots them down. “All right...now, the most important roles there are the lights and sound, since those will be more permanent roles. We’ll need people fully dedicated to those positions. Our actors can also help with prop and sets when we’re not practicing scenes!”

The other students state their preferences, and Kurenai labels them all. “Itachi, any preference?”

A moment to think “...sound, I guess?” He’s worked with equipment like that briefly for presentations and the like. Lights...not so much. “I could also do the camera, if you’d like.”

“Perfect. Once we get all the other parts settled, I’ll walk you and the others through how to use all the equipment, which we’ll need to move back into the overhead room! We store some of it during the summer elsewhere, since it can get pretty hot up there.”

Then begins the casting. Explaining the necessary cast numbers, the group all read through the script before she offers, “Everyone ready for their auditions?”

Itachi blinks in surprise. They have to audition? Aren’t they already in the club? He and the other backstage members move to sit in some of the theater hall seats, watching as the students all give little recitals. Some sing, some dance, some give monologues.

And toward the end is Ryū.

Sitting up a bit as she goes on stage, Itachi listens as Ryū first gives an opening scene, clearly from another play. Then she sings a short song, moving along the stage as she does. It’s clear she’s done this before, a happy, excited expression on her face.

In the back of his mind, he feels a little worse for never having come watched one of her plays before.

A few more students then audition, and Kurenai declares the day almost over. “I’ll work on assigning the cast for this production over the week, and announce it Friday! For now, those of you going to work behind the scenes, follow me - we’ll move and go over the tech you’ll be using.”

They carry up some of the more sensitive equipment, and Kurenai is right - it is hot in the room that overlooks the theater. Heat rises, after all. Once everything is set back up, she walks them through what each device does, letting them test everything. A few students down on the stage try out the microphones, letting Itachi fiddle with sound levels, effects, and managing all of the channels. Lights are shone down on the floor, sliders at their front letting them change color, and both narrow and expand.

“So, think you guys can handle it?”

Everyone nods, and she excuses them for the day. Heading back down to the floor of the auditorium, Itachi finds Ryū still there, waiting for him. “I thought you would have gone home?”

“I wanted to make sure you got through everything okay! Think you’ll enjoy it?”

“I believe so. It will be...interesting to see how this all fits together.”

“It’ll be great!” Hands folding behind her back, Ryū muses, “I hope I get a decent part...especially since this is my last year.”

“Your audition was wonderful.”

“You think so?”

Itachi nods. “I’ve...never heard you sing before.”

At that, Ryū goes a light shade of pink, glancing aside. “...I love to do it. Though I wasn’t brave enough at first. The first two years, I only played little roles with hardly any talking. Then last year, I had a part where I sang with a group. This time, I want to have a solo!”

“I could never do that.”

“But you already do! When you do stuff like a presentation for a class, that’s something in front of a group, by yourself!”

“Yes, but I don’t have to sing it,” Itachi chuckles.

“Maybe they’d be more fun that way!”

They leave the theater hall behind, picking up their things from their lockers. “Do you have a ride home?”

“Oh, I took my bike!”

“Isn’t it a bit far?”

“Well, to be fair, I could use the exercise,” Ryū laughs. “Besides, I need to stop and pick up a few things before I head home.”

“I could take you - I drove.”

“But...my bike -?”

“I’m sure it would fit in the back.” Knowing he’d need to get himself home after the busses had left, Itachi brought his mother’s SUV, which is plenty big.

“...are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

Loading up her bike, Itachi then drives them both to the store she was planning to stop at. A glance shows her looking a bit sheepish in her seat. “...are you all right?”

“Y-yes! I just...feel bad -”

“Ryū, I offered,” Itachi cuts in gently with a smile. “It’s fine.” After a pause, he asks, “Why don’t I just take you home after practice every day?”

“But -?”

“I’ll have to take the car anyway. And I’d feel better knowing you don’t have to go home alone at this hour.”

Having no retort for that, Ryū seems to relax a bit, only moving when she hops out to fetch her few groceries. “I’ll be right back!”

“Want me to come with you?”

“Nope! I’ll just be a minute!”

True to her word, Ryū is in and out, back into the car in hardly any time. From there, Itachi takes her the rest of the way to her house. Once her bike and backpack are out, they stand awkwardly in the driveway for a moment.

“...thank you for taking me home,” Ryū eventually manages to offer, flashing a shy smile.

“Of course. I’ll take you again on Friday.” Another pause, and then, “...I hope you get the part you want.”

“Me too! And...I hope you enjoy being part of the crew. It’ll be...nice to see you a bit more often.”

“Yes...you too.”

The front door then opens, and both teens turn to see Jiraiya in the doorway. Spotting them, he gives a wry grin, leaning against the frame with folded arms.

Flushing even darker pink, Ryū stutters, “I-I better get in and, um...fix dinner! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Er, right - goodnight.”

“Night!” Scampering up the steps, she ducks sheepishly past her father with her things and heads into the house.

Glancing to Jiraiya, Itachi can’t help but feel a bit...awkward. He has an advanced literature class with him, after all…and he doesn’t want him to get the wrong impression. “I...didn’t want her riding home alone.”

The man just nods in thanks, watching Itachi get back into his mother’s car and head toward home. Once he gets there, he parks in the garage, heading in and leaning against the door with a sigh.

“So? How was your first practice?” Mikoto calls from the kitchen.

“We didn’t really do much yet. Things are still being...arranged.”

“Ohhh, I see...well, it’s time for dinner now! Call your brother down, will you? He never listens to me anymore.”

Laughing softly, Itachi puts away this things before fetching his brother.

Come Friday, Itachi finds himself nervous. Not for himself, but for his friend. Given Kurenai’s hinting, and how well Ryū did (at least, he thinks she did well), he has high hopes she’ll get a good part...but still can’t help but worry.

The troupe all sit in their chairs like last time, and Kurenai passes out copies of the playbooks. This time, however, they have names and roles written on the front, their lines highlighted. Sitting beside Itachi, he can see as Ryū’s hands curl and uncurl atop her lap in anxiousness.

Pausing as she reaches the seniors, Kurenai waits a moment before handing Ryū her book. “Congrats,” is all she offers.

Glancing over eagerly, Itachi sees her name, and under it, the character she’ll be playing.

The lead!

In spite of herself, Ryū lets out a squeal, and several of the underclassmen from the previous year whoop in celebration.

“Now, for today, we’re going to do another read through of the play, all with our proper lines. You can all work on things like voices and gestures as we go to get a feel for your new character! To those in the backstage crew...I guess you get seats to an early rendition.”

Itachi doesn’t mind at all he has nothing to read, simply watching the other students as they go through their lines. Already, Ryū starts setting up her character, working on a voice to suit her. Even if she’s just sitting and reading, he finds himself rather enraptured.

From there...practice really begins.

Night by night, they work on scenes, everyone memorizing their lines in their spare time. Itachi lends hands with making props and building the sets for the stage, as well as working on the soundtracks and sound effects he’ll be playing at the proper time for each scene. The actors speak, sing, dance, and pantomime as the weeks pass, the show date looming ever closer.

Then, before they know it, it’s the Friday before the shows: twice a day, on both Saturday and Sunday. Itachi and another student will be trading turns to work the sound, and on his turn off, Itachi will be managing the camera to film the last show for all of the parents and students to buy. That and the ticket sales should help cover all they spent on costumes and supplies.

“All right, everyone...tomorrow’s the big day,” Kurenai announces, a sparkle in her eye. “You’ve all been doing fantastic - I’m sure this show is going to be a huge success!”

Everyone claps, and with their two hours of practice over, begin to disperse. Going to his locker to grab his things, Itachi then realizes he forgot to grab his thumb drive with his copy of the music and sounds!

Taking the stairs back up to the overhead room, he pauses as the piano on the stage starts to play. Odd...he thought everyone left? Looking out the front, he spots Kurenai at the keys.

And in the middle of the stage is Ryū. Seems she wants to practice one more thing before they go.

Hands clasped, she waits for the proper bar before looking up, a forlorn expression on her face. It’s one of the pivotal songs of the show: where the main character tries to make a big decision before the climax.

Funny...he’s heard her sing this many times before now, but...this time, it seems...different. Maybe because she doesn’t know anyone is watching...or because, with him being the only one, it’s like she’s singing just for him.

Either way, it brings a strange calm over him, unable to look away.

On and on she croons, gesturing as she interacts with the set. And all the while, Itachi watches closely, feeling the echo of his heart in his chest slowly get louder.

It’s so beautiful…

Then, the last note lingers out over the auditorium...before silence rings. Down below, Ryū relaxes as she drops out of character, talking with Kurenai. From here, without mics, he can’t hear what they’re saying. But then he remembers, he has to drive her home! She’ll be looking for him once she finishes.

Racing back down the stairs, he jogs up to the door where she emerges, coming up short at his hurried pace. “Oh!”

“Sorry, I had to run and grab some things. Ready to go?”

“Yeah, I think so. Just...wanted to get one last round of practice in. I’ll probably be up all night singing...”

“Do be careful not to wear out your voice.”

“I won’t!”

To Ryū’s house they go first, Itachi dropping her off with a wish of good luck.

“No no! In acting, you say, ‘break a leg’!”

That takes him aback. “...why?”

“Because of an old superstition that saying ‘good luck’ for a performer is actually bad luck,” she explains with a smile. “So instead, you wish them the opposite, which...I guess is usually break a leg!”

“...this is why I’m not an actor,” Itachi replies, earning a loud laugh and having to fight a smile.

“Well...see you tomorrow,” Ryū manages once her mirth calms.

Itachi nods. “Get some rest.”

“You too.”

When he arrives home, Itachi has to stave off questions about the last practice from his mother. “It was just...practice.”

“Think you’re ready?”

“As best I can be.”

“What about everyone else?”

“Well, the final run-through went very well.”

“Anyone stand out…?”

Itachi gives his mother a pleading, deadpanned look.

“What? It’s an honest question!”

Rolling his eyes and fighting back a smile, he counters, “I guess you’ll just have to see tomorrow. Is Sasuke coming?”

“I believe so. Naruto said he was going to go to support his sister, so I’d be willing to bet he’ll tag along to do the same!”

Itachi almost retorts - he’s not in the play, after all - but by now he just lets their enthusiasm go unfettered. At least they’ll be there to watch the show.

Saturday morning, he heads into the school early for one last check of his equipment for the sound. All over backstage are the acting students. Most are already in their costumes for the opening scene, going over lines and singing vocal warm-ups. It takes him a few minutes, but eventually he finds Ryū. She’s oddly still and quiet, looking a bit zoned out as she slowly curls a paper playbill in her hands.

“...Ryū?”

“...oh!” Smiling sheepishly, she gives a hello. “I’m...a little nervous.”

“It’s going to be great. And you’ll be great.”

Her head ducks shyly, smiling with a hint of a blush. “...I’ll try my best.”

As the time draws near, Itachi has to retreat to the overhead room, doing his final adjustments as people begin to find their seats. Playing soft music in the meantime, he watches, spotting both his family and Ryū’s as they sit.

Then Kurenai steps on stage, Itachi fading the music as she introduces the play...and they begin.

With his lamp, Itachi carefully watches both the play and his copy of the script, playing all the right songs and effects at the correct times. And every time Ryū comes on stage, he pays extra close attention.

Then, it’s time for her solo.

Alone on the stage, the spotlight is put on her, taking the same pose as the day before in her practice with Kurenai. Itachi starts the music, watching.

Come on…

Then...she sings.

Just like yesterday, he can’t tear his eyes away. And neither can the audience, watching in hushed anticipation as she goes. By the time the song ends, the silence rings out for several seconds before people start to clap.

Pride fills Itachi’s chest. She did so well!

The rest of the play seems to coast downhill with the big song over, and soon enough...it’s done. The theater hall fills with applause, Itachi setting the last music to play before heading down as Kurenai told him to. He and the other backstage help are meant to join in the last bow. Waiting in one of the stage wings, he and the others behind the scenes take their bow before the whole cast steps up to give the last.

Everyone waves, the curtain slowly lowering until the audience is out of sight. Most people quickly scatter to begin getting ready to mingle afterward. Taking a steadying breath, Itachi glances over to look for Ryū...only for her to find him first.

Clearly still excited, she latches onto him in a tight hug, laughing. “We did it!” Once she lets go, she looks at him with a look so full of pride and happiness, he just...can’t help himself.

Before he stops to think, Itachi just...kisses her.

For a moment she goes stock still, stiff with surprise. But once that fades, she softens, shyly kissing him in return. Slowly they part, looking to each other cautiously.

“...I...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -”

“I-it’s fine,” Ryū cuts in, flushing pink. “I...I’ve been waiting for you to do that.”

After a pause, they both give nervous smiles and sheepish laughs.

“...so, should we...go out and see everyone?”

“Yeah...I guess we should.” Beaming again, Ryū takes his hand, and they leave the stage behind.

                                                          .oOo.

     Woo, day four! Today we’ve got @redlineoffate‘s Itachi, and of course Ryū, in a modern high school setting!      I’m not the best at writing modern universes - I tend to prefer fantasy or mythological ones. But I gave it my best try xD Hopefully it’s still fun to read!      Mitsuki, I love our ship so much! I hope you enjoyed reading this, and just know that I love writing with you n_n Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans and building such awesome bonds between our muses~ <3      Anyway, that’s the entry for today! Time to go work on tomorrow’s, lol

[nikkicross22]

The Lives Worth Saving

Present Day

Several hours after apologizing to Shikamaru (Chapter 6)

“If you didn’t show up at four in the goddamn morning my seals wouldn’t have burned you in the first place!” Haruki accused the cowering jounin. “Seals are for protection, and if you didn’t want to get hurt, you could have waited at least until ‘slightly before it’s socially acceptable to knock.’ What did you think would happen when you tried to sneak in through my window like a less than incompetent academy student?”

Cradling his admittedly not very injured hand to his chest, Kakashi over dramatically whined, “Haruki, you said the seals would only activate if I came with the intent to harm. I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t been kidnapped in your sleep.”

“Kidnapped in my-” the angry jounin cut himself off. “Didn’t you have the Yondaime as your sensei? He’s a sealing master! How on Earth would you not know to never mess with seals?” Haruki accused. “Also, I said the seals I put on Naruto’s door would hurt people with the intent to harm; I never said a thing about my own. What self respecting jounin wouldn’t have their windows trapped? Honestly, you’re impossible.”

Spinning on his heel, Haruki turned back to the direction of the bedroom and began to abandon Kakashi in the front room.

“Where are you going?” Kakashi questioned.

“Back to bed.”

Not that he had been sleeping before that anyway. Haruki knew that as soon as he fell asleep, all that would greet him would be Shikamaru. His Shikamaru. Organs spilled on the ground, half his face missing. Ready to greet death with a smile. And blood. So much blood. Too much. His life fading rapidly and red painting every available surface around him. There was no point in trying to save him, he was already too far gone.

They all were. Everyone was gone. Gone, and they had left him behind alone. So alone. They were never coming back; not Sasuke, nor Shikamaru, or Sakura. Kakashi, too. All of them were gone, and none of this was real. It didn’t belong to him and it never would. Haruki was going to disappear and he was never going to come back. He would be gone, too. He could go back, and see his friends again. He wouldn’t have to hurt anymore, wouldn’t have to see them all massacred and eviscerated in his mind every time Haruki closed his eyes.

He was so close. Just a little more. Just one more push and then-

Stop.

“Feel free to see yourself out. They won’t hurt you from the inside,” Haruki tossed over his shoulder feeling decidedly empty inside. 

“Ma, Haruki. Don’t you have training Asuma in a little while?” Kakashi asked. “It would be rude to show up late.”

Freezing in place, Haruki felt something sharp rise up inside of him. God, he knew Kakashi wasn’t here for whatever stupid reason he had dropped. It irritated Haruki to no end thinking about the Kakashi in his past (future?) that he had known so well. He may had been damaged, but at least he respected his friends enough not to bullshit them. The jounin wasn’t quite sure if it was directed at himself or at the stupid front Kakashi always had up, but the sheer amount of hatred made him nearly snarl at the person behind him.

“What do you want, Kakashi? What could have possibly driven your lazy ass to to break into my apartment in the middle of the night when you could very well be at home avoiding your issues with your disgusting excuse for a novel?” Haruki slowly turned around and regarded the other jounin with fire in his eyes.

Well, he’d accomplished it. Kakashi’s mask fell and shattered into a million pieces.

“That expression you made when you saw Shikamaru earlier; that wasn’t normal,” the silver haired shinobi said with a blank expression. “You looked like you were about to vomit or worse, and I couldn’t get it out of my head that I might have to walk in and find you just like my father. You claim to know everything, so you should know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s why this is so frustrating. Tell me; why should I have to be so fixated on a shinobi I just met? Why should it matter what you do with yourself? Why should I care?”

Kakashi finished his small tirade with slightly trembling hands before he curled them into fists to avoid giving himself away. Haruki felt unnerved at the uncharacteristic display of emotion from the other man. He may have gone a little too far. Kakashi had dropped his aloof front, but his eyes were still unreadable, and the red head knew this situation had quickly elevated to something somewhat uncontrollable. 

Kakashi was scared for him, which only meant one thing; he was attached. 

“For what it’s worth, I have no plans to kill myself,” The paradox would take care of it anyway. “To answer your question though, you shouldn’t. I’m nearly a perfect stranger, and for all you know, I could just be out to hurt you and your students. So why should you care? You shouldn’t.” 

Haruki inwardly winced as realized he probably just made the situation worse.

Eyes now blazing, Kakashi aggressively rebuked, “If there is one thing I have learned about you in all the times we have interacted, it’s that you would rather die than watch any harm come to those students. Not only that, you have the explicit trust of the Hokage himself, and the only other person I’ve ever seen him trust so much to was Minato himself. You’re not going to hurt the village, and you’re not going to hurt me,” Kakashi snarled. “I know that, but what I still don’t understand is why you refuse to acknowledge that there are people out there that want to help you. People care about you, and somehow, you managed to rope me into that as well, so you better make damn sure to take responsibility for doing this. You talk like you dying wouldn’t affect anyone. You may not say it, but I can hear it, and I don’t want to have to be the one to help you with your inferiority complex. 

“There is more to being a shinobi than just fulfilling orders and carrying out a mission. Isn’t that what you helped teach my students? What do you think it would do to Naruto? To Sasuke? Our team would be in shambles if it wasn’t for you, so for the love of God take a moment and remember that you’re not on some infiltration mission any more. You’re home, and you don’t have to worry about being attached anymore. It’s okay to have friends. It’s okay to have a family again.”

Kakashi seemed to suddenly realize that he had been carrying on, and quickly proceeded to shut himself up. Really this was unlike him, but he could see so many parallels between himself an Minato right now it was terrifying. Raising his eyes up to look at the other man, the silver haired jounin felt like he’d been stabbed at the look that was being leveled his way. Kakashi had seen glimpses of the depression that seemed to hang around the weary shinobi, but he had never seen something like this before. Haruki’s brilliant blue eyes were acting like windows to his soul, and Kakashi witnessed something he could never wish on anyone; not even on the people who had killed Obito.

Oh, he’d fucked up.

The sheer amount of devastating sadness, self hatred, and all consuming depression was on clear display at that moment, and despite Kakashi only knowing Haruki for a short while, all he wanted to do was help the man in any way he could, no matter what it would take. Kakashi had promised himself to do better after Sarutobi had pulled him out of his suicidal Anbu missions, swearing to fix the holes he had left with his friends. And he’d mostly accomplished it too, now able to freely converse and work with all the jounin he worked with on multiple occasions, and he even indulged Gai on occasion. Sure, he had been angry at Haruki’s cold display and seemingly careless disregard for his life, but the sliver haired man had never wanted to cause the man this much pain. He was trying to emulate what Minato would say, not destroy the man. Kakashi had been told before that he was sometimes a little too callus and intense when it came to looking underneath the underneath, but he never imagined it could have this kind of impact on someone.

“Go home, Kakashi,” Haruki whispered in a broken voice. “Just go home. There’s nothing more for you to do here.”

Turning once again, Haruki slowly started to walk back towards his bedroom, not even realizing that his whole body was shaking. He had pushed far too hard, and now he would suffer for it.

Kakashi’s eyes widened and he instantly called after the red head. “No, wait! I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that,” he took a step forward. “Haruki please, I’m sorry.”

Reaching for him, Kakashi clamped his hand around Haruki’s bicep and felt his entire body go rock stiff. He’d messed up. Again.

“Kakashi,” Haruki said without and inflection. “Let go of me. Now.”

Dropping him like he was on fire, the silver haired shinobi immediately froze, before carefully relaxing himself.

“Haruki?” he whispered. “Please turn around.”

The mentioned shinobi full body shuddered before slowly facing the man behind him. Taking a second, Haruki slowly raised his eyes up to meet Kakashi’s, and was enveloped in deep charcoal full of regret and terror, presumably at his own actions. Haruki sighed, taking a moment to reflect on the fact that Kakashi was still horribly emotionally stunted and probably had no idea how to deal with the situation he had created.

There’s no way Kakashi could know. He couldn’t understand just how bad the words had affected the red head. And that was okay, Haruki didn’t want him to. It was just, Kakashi had read the situation perfectly, lack of social grace or not, and he had voiced the worst of Haruki’s demons. He didn’t have a home, not any longer. That was the truth of the matter; he was just an outside force giving interference on the natural course of this world, and no matter what he did, what connections he made or deeds he carried out, he would still disappear within the year. 

But still, he couldn’t just leave Kakashi like this. The man would never forgive himself for destroying yet another bond, and Haruki knew Kakashi didn’t need any more emotional scarring. Hesitating, the red head took half a step forward, directly into the other shinobi’s space, before allowing his forehead to drop onto Kakashi’s shoulder. God, he hoped this wouldn’t scare him off. Haruki felt him stiffen underneath his head before relaxing. Kakashi moved an uncertain hand towards the younger shinobi’s head before aborting the motion halfway and dropping it back down to his side.

It was something Minato used to do, but Kakashi had no idea whether or not it would be appropriate at a time like this. All the Copy-nin knew was that Haruki needed some sort of reassurance after being so brutally called out on his insecurities, but the man himself beat Kakashi to it.

“It’s okay. I pushed you too far. I know you didn’t mean it to be harmful, I just don’t know what to do with that information. I forgive you. Please don’t beat yourself up over it,” Haruki breathed against his shoulder.

What the hell was wrong with him? Kakashi had just torn the other shinobi apart and he was just standing here listening to Haruki reassure him? 

Once again, the silver haired man brought his hand up towards the other man’s head, and this time successfully buried his hand in it, gently petting Haruki’s scalp. Kakashi felt him shudder slightly, but this time he could tell it was not from revulsion. He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, calmly basking in each others’ presence while attempting to heal old scars, but the next time Kakashi opened his eyes, it was beginning to become light outside and he could sense people starting to wake up around the complex.

Haruki stepped backwards out of the hold and Kakashi’s hand fell from his head leaving the red head startlingly cold. That was okay though; he had taken advantage of the Copy-nin’s awkward kindness for far too long. 

Shooting Kakashi a said smile, he gently spoke. “You should get going. You’re not going to have any time to procrastinate and make the team wait at this rate.”

The silver haired man cleared his throat and shifted before pulling out his trusted Icha Icha. If there was one way to get back in character after such a heart wrenching experience, it was with his usual cover. 

“Ma, you’re right Haruki-san,” he drawled slightly uncertainly. “Miki-chan and I didn’t get to see each other all night. I should really go catch up.”

Haruki let out a startled chuckle before waving him away. Maybe he could catch an hour of sleep before he had to meet up with team ten. Haruki watched as Kakashi excused himself and began walking towards the door.

Just as he the older jounin touched the doorknob, Haruki grabbed his attention once more.

“Oh and Kakashi?” he asked. “Drop the ‘san.’ It makes me feel old.”

Kakashi genuinely smiled under his mask before quietly replying, “Sure thing, jiji.”

Then he was gone.

Oof. That one hurt. Anyway, this one absolutely wasn’t cannon for the story. This is just the way I would have done it had I been in charge of that chapter, and good practice for me in learning how I want to make both of them react to different situations. Also, they don’t quite get each other as well as they think, so I thought I would explore it a little bit. Haruki is a very damaged person, but he really does want to understand Kakashi. He’s had a lot of time with his former sensei in the reality he comes from, and he’s using that to his advantage right now. They’re closer than Haruki is comfortable with, and even with his best intentions in mind, Haruki is never going to be able to break that bond.

Also, sorry for any spelling errors. I really only glanced over it as I was writing it.

Anyways, if you haven’t checked it out already, go ahead and give “The Lives Worth Saving” over on Ao3 a glance!

[twinkletoes-rp]

Naruto AU “Surface Breaker” Ch. 2 - The Right Decisions

(Can also read on FFN | AO3 | Previous | Next )

---

“Sasuke went to Orochimaru of his own free will. No matter what you do, he will not change…”

“B-but I…” Naruto murmurs in his sleep.

“Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you can bring him back. You can’t. It’s hopeless. It’s a fool’s errand…”

His fingers curl in the sheets. “I’m not a…”

“Idiot! Take a good look at the condition you’re in, and he’s the one who did it to you! Was that the work of a friend?!”

His grip loosens and fingers twitch in response to the pain pulsing through him. “Y-you’re right…b-but…”

“What happened was destined to happen…”

“I…” there’s great difficulty in getting this out, something he hasn’t wanted to admit even to himself, “…I know, but…”

“To be a shinobi, you need more than strength and jutsu. You must acquire the judgment to make the right decisions. You must become smarter…”

“But…what is right…?” A tear leaves his eye. “P-please, I don’t…”

“You can’t help him, so you should forget about him. Dismiss him from your mind, and move on…”

Naruto’s eyes flutter open as another tear falls and Jiraiya’s last words echo in his mind. It takes him a good few seconds to even register that he’s awake. But there’s warmth at his elbow again, closer this time than when he woke up yesterday, it moves closer still, and then Shikamaru leans into his line of sight. He looks concerned. “Hey…you all right?”

Blue eyes drift to him, and Naruto slowly reaches up to wipe at his eyes and face. It takes him a moment to remember his dream, why it made him cry in his sleep, but once he does…he can’t decide if he’s happy or sad. Maybe it’s something in between. He’s sure it shows on his face, too, because he can feel Shikamaru’s patient, yet worried and discerning gaze gaining intensity.

“Just a dream…” he finally answers, voice slightly raspy from sleep and his frankly confusing mood. Opening his eyes again, he looks up at Shikamaru. He knows he’ll understand this, too, and he takes a moment to thank everything for him, offering a minuscule, reopened-wound smile. “It was just…something Pervy Sage told me…a long time ago…”

Shikamaru’s eyes don’t leave him right away, waiting for him to elaborate if he wants or needs to talk, but when Naruto seems intent on sticking to his ‘figure this out myself’ guns from last night, he doesn’t push him. Leaning back so as not to crowd him, he gives an acknowledging, future-encouraging hum. “Well, in any case, good morning.”

Stretching a bit, he yawns, and Naruto, returning the greeting, worries that and Shikamaru being awake before him means he woke him up again. He hopes not. He tunes back in when the older boy grabs a small bed-tray of hospital food from the nightstand and positions it for him on his lap. Shikamaru smiles gently, but it’s firm, too, almost like a mom’s would be. Not that Naruto would know what that’s like, of course, but it’s just what he’s always imagined a morning-mom’s to look like. “You haven’t eaten since you woke up yesterday evening. You should try to get something down, at least, even if it’s not much.”

Naruto peers down at the small plate of fruit, vegetables, and bread, and he feels his stomach go to war with itself, too. He wants to eat it, but…with everything weighing on his mind… “I’m…not really hungry…”

There’s a moment of silence, and then, “You know, when I’m upset, I can’t eat either. I get it.” Asuma’s death was his most extreme example of that. Naruto’s gaze snaps back to him, surprise, relief, and empathy (because of course he read between the lines) in equal parts playing on his face. “I certainly won’t force you. I’m not your—” he winces, catching himself too late; damn it, Shikamaru, bad choice of words – but luckily, when he looks over, Naruto doesn’t seem to have taken any offense, thank goodness, “—w-well, you know. But I’m just saying,” he offers a kind smile, “no matter how upset I am, once I do eventually eat something? I always feel better, and I can think more clearly.“ He taps his temple. "Your brain can’t figure out its half of this on an empty stomach, you know?”

Naruto, seeing the sense in his logic – because of course he does, of course it makes perfect sense and is brilliant, this is Shikamaru – looks back down at the plate and slowly picks up the small piece of bread. Once he does, he notices that it’s already been buttered just the way he likes it. He blinks. How did Shikamaru know that? Taking a half-bite, he glances up when Shikamaru stands to walk over to the open window. Scribbling a note, he whistles, high and clear, and a messenger hawk flies over a second later to land on the sill. Naruto figures it must have been waiting for him to get here so quickly, but he can’t imagine why. Slipping his message into its container, Shikamaru releases the bird with a “Go!” and watches it fly toward the Hokage’s office.

Satisfied, he turns back around to find Naruto halfway through his bread and staring at him with a half-raised eyebrow. Calmly walking back to his seat, the brunet says, “Explanation one, for the bread: we may not have gone on too many missions together, but the ones we have, I noticed that whenever you ran out of ramen, you always ate your bread like this.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but…to Naruto, it is. He’s not surprised that Shikamaru paid attention, obviously. He’s always been crazy observant. He’s just surprised Shikamaru chose to pay attention to him.

“Explanation two, for the message: I promised Lady Tsunade I’d alert her the second you woke up.” He winks. “Technically, I probably should have told her last night,” he puts a secretive finger in front of his lips, “but I didn’t want to overwhelm you when you first woke up. I wanted to make sure you had some breathing space first.” Warm affection spreads through Naruto’s chest. Shikamaru really is the best… “Hopefully, she won’t find out. Otherwise…” he grimaces just thinking about it, the blond doing the same, “…she’ll totally kick my ass and maybe even deny me my request, never mind that it was already put through… That really would be a drag…”

Naruto swallows his bite of food. “D-don’t worry, I won’t tell her, promise. My lips are sealed.” Remembering the tail end of what Shikamaru said, though, he tilts his head and asks curiously, “Oh, but wait, what request? Like, for time off or something?” Eyes widening, he sits up straighter and a small gasp leaves him. “H-hold on, you’re not sick or anything, are you? Is that why you’re so tired and pale and have those dark bags under your eyes?”

Shikamaru blinks wide eyes a few times, bewildered, but then he remembers who he’s talking to. Softening, he waves calming hands in front of himself sheepishly. He probably should have worded that differently… “No, no, nothing like that. It’s nothing for you to worry about, really.” Naruto’s worried stare only strengthens, however, and he melts a little more. “I’m serious, Naruto. I’m just tired. If it makes you feel better, I can ask Lady Tsunade to check me over so you can see for yourself.”

A few seconds more, and Naruto shakes his head, a small, relieved smile on his face. “You don’t have to do that, but thanks. I trust you, I swear. I was just worried, that’s all.” He moves to link his hands behind his head like he usually does, but he forgot his other hand isn’t working yet. He probably looks silly like this. Oh, well. He grins brightly. “Well, whatever you asked the time off for, even if it’s just a whole week of cloud-watching, I hope you have fun! You work hard, and you deserve a break!” He gives him a thumbs up. “So enjoy it, okay?”

Shikamaru can’t help falling tender. This knucklehead has no idea about the reason behind his request, does he? He supposes it’s just as well. “I will, thanks. Don’t worry. I have a feeling this particular reprieve will be just what I need to get my energy back.” (Or deplete it a few more times, but who’s keeping score, really?)

Naruto grins, and he pops the last of his bread in his mouth. Silence settles as he takes advantage of this time to really think through his dilemma, eating what he can of the rest of the food on autopilot. Shikamaru lets him be, reading over mission reports he brought to keep himself occupied until Naruto decides he’s ready to talk.

Naruto wants and needs to figure this out on his own, sure, but that doesn’t mean he has to be or feel alone while he does it.

There’s a big difference.

—

Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha…

Naruto never thought this day would come, when he’d have to really think about what they are to each other, but…then again, when he was younger, he never thought he’d have friends or anyone who cared about him at all, so…

When they were kids, he was jealous of Sasuke, but he wanted to be like him, too. He also felt a camaraderie with him because they were the orphans without anyone to care for them. They both knew what that gaping, aching loneliness was like. At least…that’s how he felt.

But Sasuke…

Now that he really, honestly, truly thinks about it…all Sasuke ever did was belittle him, push him away, always treat him like…well, like he was more than a bother, more than the worst Academy student, like…

Dirt is the only word that comes to mind. Maybe less and worse than that.

Really, Sasuke was…the worst to him out of everyone. At the time, Naruto had thought it was just Sasuke being too proud to admit he actually gave a damn about anyone or anything except himself and his revenge…but thinking back on it now…

Did Sasuke ever talk to him civilly? Did he ever say good morning or goodnight? Did he ever say hi or see you later? Those are small things, he knows, tiny, insignificant things that almost no one else would give a single damn about, but to Naruto…to Naruto, they’re everything. And Sasuke should have known that – hell, did, he had to have, he’d seen Naruto light up every single time any of the others would say them to him – and yet…and yet…

Did he ever even say happy birthday to him? He never expected a present, of course, he wasn’t that delusional, but he didn’t think a happy birthday from his own teammate was too much to ask (especially when all the others had said it, something that had put Naruto over the moon – no one had ever said it to him before!). Naruto had wished him a happy birthday, had secretly slipped a present in his room (without Sasuke even noticing, which Naruto had counted as a personal win at the time). He’d never even gotten a ‘thank you,’ not that that was the point. It was just…the principle of the thing. And again, Sasuke had to have known how important that was to him…

And more than that, than all of that…when Sasuke left the village, made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want him around, to follow him, to save him, Naruto just thought it was the Curse Mark’s influence. But still, even with that excuse…Sasuke tried to kill him. You can dress it up any way you want – call it a friendly spat, an argument gone wrong, a battle of wills, whatever – but…at the end of the day, Sasuke’s intent was to murder him in cold blood, just for the sake of furthering his revenge. Naruto was on the brink of death when Kakashi-sensei found him. He completely wrecked his entire body. Even with his advanced healing, it took him half a week to recover.

Pervy Sage had warned him. What he’d said in his dream… It was the same speech he’d given him the day after everything. He told Naruto that Sasuke left of his own free will, that he was beyond saving, that a friend would never do this to him…but Naruto thought he knew better. Up until this point, he still did.

He just…he really thought, if he just trained hard and got strong enough, Sasuke would finally treat him like an equal, like someone worth his time and attention, and maybe…if he was really, insanely lucky, he could even persuade him to try coming back to the village. When he did, he’d see that Naruto was right all along – that revenge wasn’t worth trading every good thing in his life, that hatred would only taint and twist his soul until there was nothing left for him in the world at all.

That…that they could be friends…

Because, he’s just now realizing…they never really were.

A few tears fall, staining the sheets and the bandages on his hand, a shaking, white-knuckled fist curled in the cloth. He has to purse his lips as more rush to join them.

Maybe…he should have taken their entire lives growing up together as a hint. Maybe he shouldn’t have assumed they were one and the same and hid their pain behind the masks they showed the world. Maybe he should have known when they were teammates in life or death situations and he still didn’t care (that one time with Haku doesn’t count; Sasuke even said his body moved on its own). Maybe he shouldn’t have given him the benefit of the doubt so many times and actually started taking his words and actions at face value.

Maybe, if he did, then…he wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

Maybe he wouldn’t be in so much pain, physical and emotional.

Maybe he would have realized sooner that…to Sasuke, he’s just a means to an end. That’s all he’s even been, really. A goal to reach and then grind into dust in his climb to the top.

And now that he knows all this, now that he knows where they stand…

He remembers hearing something once: love yourself enough to let them go. He didn’t understand it then, never thought he would because he could never imagine letting one of his friends go anywhere he couldn’t (wouldn’t) follow.

But now…he thinks he gets it now. So much more intimately than he ever, ever wanted to.

Pervy Sage’s words echo in his mind again. “To be a shinobi, you need more than strength and jutsu. You must acquire the judgment to make the right decisions…”

So, this is how it feels, then…? To make the ‘right decisions’…?

His shoulders quake with suppressed sobs as tears rain down, and he swears he’ll always be grateful for the way Shikamaru just reaches over and holds him through it.

This has been a long time coming.

—

Hours later, Shikamaru takes back the soaked washcloth he’d had Naruto hold under his eyes, silently noting that the blond already looks like he’s feeling better. He’s glad. “Where’d you learn a trick like that, Shikamaru?” Naruto asks curiously, raising an eyebrow.

The genius shrugs, laying that cloth out to dry while he hands Naruto a dry one. “Just something Ino taught me when we were kids.” He snickers. “Something about ‘don’t let the boys who reject you know you’ve been crying’ or some crap like that? Hell if I know, really.” He lays that cloth out to dry, too. “But what do you know? Turns out, it came in handy for somethin’. Guess I’ll have to thank her when I see her next.”

Naruto chuckles, and he opens his mouth to say something when muffled yelling in the hallway catches their ears. There’s a rush of footsteps getting closer in the next second. Both boys glance at each other, not sure what to expect. From the sound of it, it’s most likely either Sakura or Lady Tsunade.

The door slides open, and a bright, toothy beam leaps onto Naruto’s face. “Granny Tsunade! It’s you!” He laughs, rubbing the back of his head. “You sure made a commotion out there!”

When she doesn’t reply, just takes in every inch of him without a word, face crumpling more and more until she has to bite her trembling lower lip, his smile falls. Tears start in her eyes, and her hands ball into fists. “H-hey, Granny…are you okay?” he asks carefully.

A heartbeat, he blinks, and the next thing he knows, she’s throwing her arms around him in one fell swoop. She hugs him as tightly as she dares, one hand curling in his hospital gown and the other cradling the back of his head. His shoulder’s already wet with her tears, but he doesn’t mind. “You idiot…”

Naruto relaxes in her warm, protective hold, wrapping his good arm around her and burying his face in her shoulder with a smile. “I’m okay, Granny… I’ll…” he swallows, remembering his dream and the decision he came to, “…I’ll be okay…”

She holds him closer, so much that it kind of hurts, actually, but he’s guessing that’s on purpose because in the next moment, she’s pulling back and wiping at her eyes and face and poking him in the forehead hard. “I’ll be the judge of that!” He lets her check him over with her medical ninjutsu, used to it by now, and when she’s done, she sighs in relief and smiles. “Well, while your recovery is still going to take a while, I’m happy to report that you are healing nicely.”

“All right!” Naruto cheers, beaming and throwing his good arm in the air. Pain flashes through him, and he hisses and curses himself for forgetting that would hurt, instinctively pressing a hand to his chest where the pain is. When he doesn’t feel the cool edges of his crystal, be blinks and looks down. His eyes widen. He’s…not wearing his necklace… Thinking back, he doesn’t remember hearing the familiar clink! of his and Tsunade’s crystals colliding during their hug either. He pales drastically, a look of dawning horror on his face. “Oh, no! It’s gone!” He starts looking around frantically, lifting his pillow and the sheets, feeling around everywhere. “W-where’d it go?! I-It’s gotta be here somewhere!”

Tsunade and Shikamaru are thrown. “Whoa, what? What’s missing?” the Nara boy asks, looking around on the floor in case whatever it is just fell.

“Naruto, what’s gotten into you?” Tsunade demands.

“My necklace! The one you gave me, Granny! I gotta find it!” All of a sudden, he freezes as a terrible thought occurs to him. He pales even more. “W-what if I lost it in the fight?” Burying his fingers in his hair, he tugs at it in panicked frustration. “Oh, no! If it fell in the river or in the forest somewhere, I might never find it!” He turns to Shikamaru quickly. “S-Shikamaru, you said an ANBU team was dispatched there, right? Do you know if they found it?” He holds his fingers about two inches apart. “It’s a black cord with a sea-green crystal on it that’s about this long, two little metal ball things on either side! It’s my most prized possession!”

Shikamaru’s still bewildered, but now that he thinks about it, he remembers that necklace. He’s seen Naruto wearing it. Hell, the guy never takes it off. It’s practically a part of him. Frowning, he shakes his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I haven’t heard anything. I can go over the reports again, though, if you want.”

Naruto deflates and sniffs, looking so much like a kicked puppy that Shikamaru feels his heart squeeze. “No, that’s okay. With your crazy memory, you’d remember something like that, I’m sure. Thanks, though.”

A throat clears, and Naruto’s gaze snaps to Tsunade. Around her neck, he finds both necklaces, hers and his, and he brightens, pointing with a gasp. “There it is! Why didn’t you tell me you were wearing it, Granny?”

Tsunade smiles gently and reaches up to close her hand around the crystal, shaking her head. “Sorry, but…you can’t have this back. For the moment, it’s no longer yours.”

His smile immediately falls like a stone, his heart with it. Confusion and anxiety immediately crowd his chest, he pales even more than before, and his heartbeat accelerates as a few terrible explanations come to mind. He thinks he might be sick.

“Wait, Granny, you’re…” he hates the way his voice trembles and cracks, lowered finger shaking, “…you’re not…I mean…you wouldn’t…—?”

His vision blurs, but he isn’t sure if it’s because of tears or he’s about to pass out until a few droplets fall and burn down his cheeks. There’s a painful lump in his throat that’s too big to swallow, and his heart feels like it’s constricting in his chest.

Tsunande catches on almost immediately, and she can’t help the way her her heart breaks, horrified expression following. “Oh, Naruto…” Reaching out slowly, she freezes when Naruto flinches, half-raises his arm to shield his face like he’s expecting to be hit as he’s pushed away, cast out – an age-old, hard-learned defense mechanism if she’s ever seen one – and that’s it. Her heart shatters.

“No, Naruto,” she says, almost hisses, practically snarls, but there’s something so protective and fierce and maternal in it that, this time, Naruto isn’t afraid of it for a second. He lets her take him into her arms and wrap them around him as far as they’ll go. Propriety and favoritism and all that crap be damned. This child is hers, damn it! “Don’t you dare think that, not for a second. That will never happen, you hear me?” There’s a strangled something like a sob that slips from Naruto’s throat, and it hurts, but it’s relieved and happy and thank-God, too, and Shikamaru swears it’s the only thing that makes this even remotely okay. Having also understood what Naruto meant, better than Tsunade ever could, he’d barely kept himself from diving in first, grip on his knees so tight his fingers went white. Naruto nods, burying his face farther in Tsunade’s shoulder, and she curls her fingers in his hair, stroking rhythmically. “Your place in this village, your place with me, is not and never will be in question. You’re one of us, you always will be, and you know how I feel about you.”

The last bit is a statement, not a question, and Naruto lets out a shaky breath as he nods again, a small, happy smile painting his lips. Thank goodness…

Pulling away slowly, she dries his tears as she explains, “I only took the necklace off because I needed to get past it to save your life. I didn’t want to risk it getting lost or damaged, so in the heat of the moment, I put it on. Force of habit, I guess.” She shrugs and softens. “I can’t give it back yet because it’ll get in the way when your nurses change your bandages, but as soon as you’re well enough, it’ll go right back where it belongs. I promise.”

Naruto hums in acknowledgement. “I get it now. Thanks, Granny. That means a lot to me.”

—

They talk for a while about what’s happened since Naruto’s been out, and then, once that topic dwindles, Tsunade fixes Naruto with a knowing stare. Something’s been off with him all day. “Naruto…how are you feeling?” Before he can answer incorrectly, she clarifies, “And I don’t just mean physically.”

He closes his mouth, and somehow, seeing his bright blue eyes go dark and dull and fall victim to the devastation he’s feeling hurts more than just about anything. Shikamaru watches him closely, but it’s never overbearing. Just concerned and protective, steady and warm. “Granny…” Naruto’s voice is like it was last night, almost devoid of emotion, and yet it’s different, too, so full and resigned at the same time, “…can I ask you something? It’s really personal, and it might hurt…and I don’t want that, but…” he glares downward, curling a fist in the sheets, “…I need to know…”

Her gaze never leaves him, and after a moment or two, she nods. “All right. What is it, Naruto?”

He hesitates for a moment before turning back to her, looking her right in the eyes. “How…how did you let go of Orochimaru? How did you deal with it?”

Tsunade’s eyes blow open wide, her face loses all color, and she squeezes her hands white in an attempt to keep her temper in check. She looks like she’s doing her damndest to glare a hole in the wall. “Why the hell are you asking about that all of a sudden?”

“Because…” He falters, gaze falling and expression with it. Maybe…maybe he shouldn’t… He doesn’t want to reopen this wound for her. It’s…if it’s this painful for him and he’s just starting…

“I dismissed him from my mind and moved on.” Naruto snaps up, eyes wide. Those are…! “Jiraiya’s words, yes. When Orochimaru abandoned us and the village, I was angry and hurt, and I wanted to give up, but something in me held out the smallest bit of hope. Jiraiya was different. He was the ‘you’ of our team, let’s say. He wanted to fully believe in the friend we’d grown up with, always had every hope that he could convince him to come back to us. He tried time and time again to bring Orochimaru back, gave years of his life to that cause, and he had to learn the hard way that that just wasn’t going to happen. He was lucky to escape with his life.” She sighs. This is hard to talk about. She hasn’t in a long, long time for just that reason. “In the end…he was the one who finally got me to snuff out that last bit of hope before it dragged me under completely. That was the advice he gave me, and…it did the trick. It didn’t make it magically easier to get up every day and face the world head-on, but…it helped. It’s what’s gotten me to where I am now.”

A heartbeat, and then, “Now, are you going to tell me what this is all about?”

His heart shudders at the idea of actually saying it out loud, but…it’s only fair. He has to be strong, for himself and his friends’ sakes. “I’m…” she looks back at him at the tremor in his voice, not missing the way his good hand trembles; Shikamaru listens like his life depends on it, “…it’s…it’s time that I…” his fist curls so tightly, his knuckles crack; he knew this would be hard to say, but he didn’t think it would be this difficult, “…I give up on Sauske…”

The next several moments are so tense, they could be cut with a knife.

“Naruto…what are you talking about?” Tsunade asks carefully, eyes narrowing. “Where is this coming from?”

“I had a nightmare about Sasuke last night. A bad one. Shikamaru can tell you.” He nods toward the older boy, and the brunet nods solemnly when Tsunade looks at him to confirm. “After that, this morning, I dreamed about…about Pervy Sage,” she winces at the nickname, eyes falling and biting her lip, “about what he said to me after the first time Sasuke did this to me.” He lifts his busted hand for emphasis, a bitter smile playing. “And I’ve been thinking on it a lot, hours and hours, and…I think I finally understand.”

“Understand what?” Shikamaru asks softly, patient and calm despite his own surprise. With Naruto’s nightmare, how he’s acted about Sasuke since he woke up, and especially after his breakdown earlier, the strategist figured his decision would be something like this. But anticipating something and hearing it in reality are two very different things.

“Sasuke’s…never cared about me. All he’s ever cared about is getting revenge on Itachi, and I’ve only ever been in the way of that. And even now that he’s gotten it, he’s still…” He’s pretty sure this is the hardest thing he’s ever had to say in his life. The words are lodging in his throat, threatening to choke him. He does his best to breathe through it. He doesn’t want them to burst out in an ugly rush. “I can’t…keep giving all of myself to someone who can’t be saved.” He breathes a laugh, but it’s mirthless and sad and so damn hurt, and that and the way his eyes swim make his friends’ hearts twist painfully. “He’s a lost cause, a-and I—I know that now. Hell, look at me…” The smile on his face is as broken as his laugh, and he’s not surprised when a few tears start down his cheeks. He sniffs. “Pervy Sage tried to tell me the first time, you know? He tried to save me from any future pain. But I…I didn’t listen…” he barely bites back a sob, “…and I can’t even tell him that hindsight’s a bitch and I know he’s right now because…” He has to close his eyes and purse his lips tightly as more tears sting and fall.

His shoulders quake. “I was alone for so long…but I’m not anymore. I have so many people in this village…and even in the Sand…I’m lucky enough to call my friends. They support and love me, no matter what…even when I screw up. They’re precious to me. I…I want to protect them…and show them the same care and love they’ve shown me…more than anything else in the world…” A few sobs escape he can’t hope to keep back. He’s never told anyone this next part before. “They…they saved me…”

Shikamaru’s heart beats like a drum in his chest. He always knew they were important to Naruto. He’d be the biggest idiot on the face of the planet if he didn’t know that. But somehow, hearing how deep that gratitude and devotion go (and knowing why)…it hurts and heals at once. It’s the same for all of us, Naruto, he swears. We love you, too.

He swallows thickly, working to rein himself in. “I-I want…to focus on them, on the ones who love me for me and would never hurt me like he has…on—on loving myself enough to let him go and move on.” Wiping his eyes and face, he looks at them again. They burn with blue fire, and the smile he gives them is strong and hopeful and never-say-die. “I know I deserve that much, at least. I deserve something, damn it.”

No, Naruto… they can’t help but think. You deserve everything.

“And if I can have you and all of them?” he closes softly. “Then I have everything I’ll ever need,” he pats his heart, “right here.”

A heartbeat, two, three, and then Tsunade smiles, wiping her own eyes. “Like master, like student, I see.” She reaches forward to ruffle his hair feather-lightly, not wanting to hurt him. He laughs and leans into her touch anyway, pain be damned. “I’m so proud of you, Naruto.”

Naruto beams toothily. “Thanks, Granny!”

Shikamaru, for his part, takes a deep breath and sighs like it’s something he’s been keeping inside for years (and he has), his whole body sagging with the force of his relief. Looking back at Naruto, there’s a gentle smile on his face. “You know the rest of us wanted to take out Sasuke ourselves a long time ago. Sakura aside, we hold no love for the guy,” he clenches a fist lightly, fighting the urge to grit his teeth, “especially after everything he’s done to you. That said,” he sighs again, shorter and lighter this time, smile growing, “I’m really proud of you, too, and I’m happy for you.” He softens. “You deserve to be happy, Naruto, and I think this is the best way to start.”

Naruto’s beam blinds. “Thanks, Shikamaru! You’re the best!”

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S18

“I put the entire burden on you Naruto” The Entire Burden is a nickname for Sasuke and I love it

Team 7 protecting each other while still making time to flirt is my aesthetic

In terms of actually using all three members in a cohesive unit Team 10 has by far the best teamwork in their year

Episodes since Tenzo has been missing: 117!!!! FREE HIM

Sakura doesn’t trust Sasuke and that’s good because she has no reason to do so

“I’m over it” said Kakashi for the first time in his life ever

Poor Minato he is being traumatized even in the afterlife 

“That was anticlimactic” amazing that even in times of war Sasuke still finds time to be a bitch

What is this out of continuity Frankenstein episode

I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND OROCHIMARU BUILT A FAKE SASUKE

Sasuke walks away from the village just like he walks away from his emotional issues

I can already tell this two episode arc is going to be very stupid but I love it because I miss Tenzo and Neji 

This doesn’t make any sense because Asuma died while Naruto was training to learn the Rasenshuriken so Ino, Choji and Shikamaru should living their most tragic lives atm

I liked it better when Orochimaru was making a fake Sasuke 

Naruto’s two dramatic dads coming to the rescue 

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. This is where Kakashi and I used to come to make out,” said the Gay Subtext 

I can’t believe they’re taking Akamaru but not Kiba kgjhkjdfhgdkfjhgkh KAKASHI HAS EIGHT DOGS OF HIS OWN

So Kiba is coming though this party seems a little large for this kind of mission lmao

I’m not sure what’s funnier that Kakashi is still reading Makeout Paradise or that he has finally stuffed his team members inside a box for their own protection

Me @ those horrified Hokage faces: ....Same

“Wait, who’s holding the front? No one’s theeeeere” KAKASHI PLS

If the Gaara handshake and Kakashi piggyback are the best two minutes of anime I’ve ever seen then this was definitely the worst two minutes the rainbow vomit and Neji’s fall from the sky I will never recover

Naruto’s heart eyes @ Gaara: SAME X2

I guess even Gaara is vulnerable to his Fifteen Year Old Boy Pride

“He was with me earlier but he ditched me” Orochimaru sounds like Sasuke’s bitter girlfriend

REVERSE SNAKE DIGESTION AND OROCHIMARU’S GIGGLE I HAVE NO WORDS

ITACHI PLEASE why would you be so highkey about protecting your brother literally his forehead said “Itachi” I’m livid and yet I’m also living 

Gaara the Hidden Leaf is burning to the ground what kinda priorities 

Filler Sakura is much more into Naruto than Canon Tragic Trashbag-Loving Sakura

I never thought I’d be eager to get back to tragedy and yet here we are

“That Sasuke... he’s bright” Sasuke gets the dad approval and Itachi gave Naruto the older brother approval so I’m not saying you’re supposed to get married but that’s exactly what I’m saying  

Well that’s gross Obito

“Time for my Raijin Flash Super Circle Dance Howl Stage 3″ WHO LETS MINATO NAME THINGS

QUIT TRYING TO SEVER THE PAST SASUKE ALL TEAM 7 WANTS TO DO IS LOVE YOU

“He’s just like a snake” Well this is a perfect time for Sasuke Uchiha, Snake Expert

Yikes @ Minato watching Obito being swallowed by his flesh prison

For about ten seconds I was rooting for Obito to live for Minato and Kakashi’s sake but surprise surprise he continues to be the wooooOooOrst

Every time Sasuke wraps Naruto protectively in his Susano my heart swells three sizes 

“Here, you can have this back” bless you Tobirama

Temari is so supportive she is Team Shikamaru all the way

“Smiling? Both of them?” Sakura is shocked to hear Sasuke remembers how to smile

Tobirama is increasingly embarrassed by the Namikaze clan nerds

Minato is taking the blame onto himself for all that became of his comrades just as Kakashi does, like sensei like student

KURAMA GIVING MINATO INSPIRATIONAL SPEECHES FROM WITHIN IS MY AESTHETIC

Tomorrow is Naruto’s birthday and also his parents’ deathday what a yikes life

Minato has saved everyone in the world even after his own death my Namikaze boys I love them so much

“What kind of child-rearing led to this?” Kakashi and Iruka’s lmao

This outro is literally Naruto and Sasuke running to each other on a beach at sunset bless this homoerotic animation studio

“I know you’re not an idiot” do u know that Tobirama 

The real question is who is worse at dealing with emotional intimacy Sasuke or Kurama

Are you honestly still bitter about Naruto’s success Sasuke come on dude learn to adjust

381 Episodes into the series and the Sage of Six Paths gets a name 

At this point there are going to be like 100 Shinobi left in the whole world

Shikamaru doesn’t deserve this 

Can I just say I’m glad Kakashi is in the intro? Because it gives me hope that he will not be Tenzo’d in this arc

“He seems to be in a foul mood” when is Sasuke not in a foul mood

IS EVERYONE ON THE BATTLEFIELD GOING TO EXPERIENCE NARUTO’S LOVE FOR SASUKE I’M SCREAMING

This is a pretty shitty way for Hiruzen to find out his son died

Everyone is pissed off and inspired by all the pain that Naruto has been through

Current list of Sasuke’s titles: Bitch, snake expert and Smart Boi

Fhfkgjhsjghsdkjgh Hashirama is the most beautiful person dead or alive:

Tobirama: We’ll assign the Tailed Beasts based on power balance but you’re required to pay

Hashirama: [whispers loudly] They’re not free?

Tobirama: Shut it!

“A Shinobi’s Dream” is 10/10, inspirational and beautiful episode I love it

“There’s no one more qualified than me to be Naruto’s advisor” I mean that was very poetic Shikamaru but Kakashi is at least equally adept if not more so

KAKASHI JUST SUTURED HIS OWN STAB WOUND THIS MAN IS TRULY MY DREAM

Hiruzen bossing Orochimaru around makes me happy in a weird way

My girl Sakura protecting the whole Shinobi world with her sensei 

KAKASHI COME SAVE YOUR CHILDREN THIS IS YOUR BAT SIGNAL

Sasuke keeps encouraging Naruto to keep fighting and coming back to his side it’s adorable

Kakashi’s babies are back together and he’s getting the live feed god bless

Obito’s dream of just being a ninja in the Leaf was very depressing

This must be Kakashi and Minato’s dream I’ve never seen so much teamwork at once

Kakashi and Obito with Team 7 vkcjbhkjvhbjk oh my goodness my feelings

Tiny heartthrob Kakashi is adorable and I love him

So the reason Kakashi got placed on Team Minato is because he couldn’t play well with others oh my rude little boy

Obito’s struggles being late to everything are #relatable

This is so funny though because when Kakashi’s babies went to the Chunin exam he literally brought Sasuke in like hours late

“A guy’s gotta have a scar or two get some cred” but how many scars must Kakashi’s heart endure Obito

Lmao @ Tsunade calling “hold” for Team Minato to deal with their Emotional Issues

In all fairness to Kakashi, Minato, he did his fair share of lecturing before you arrived

What is it with these boys and sitting atop each other for minutes at a time while reliving their memories together

“I’ve thought that this world is hell too” Minato gets to hear about the burden Kakashi has been carrying for twenty years

“So that’s where Madara is” you’d think the giant wooden dragon would also be a give-away

I’m very concerned about Gaara but I’m proud of him for making peace with Shukaku

I don't know if Hinata's voice actor changed or if she forgot how to do young Hinata or if I forgot how she sounds but something seems odd

My boy Neji!!! I miss him so much

Why are the Hyuga like this I need reformation #JusticeForNeji

Hanabi discovers that her sister is a peeping tom at the age of 5

The fact that sunset on the beach ending is accompanied by the lyrics “I shouldn't love you, no, no, no” as Naruto and Sasuke meet this is truly the Gay Agenda

So many Naruto episodes are just retelling Part 1 events through different perspectives lmao 

Hanabi WHY ARE YOU HAVING A FLASHBACK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TEN SECONDS AGO

I have so many feelings about Neji and Hinata like he is her Excessively Pretentious Older Brother why is his life so sad!!!! Revive him and let him uncle her babies 

“I want to choose my own path without being influenced by anyone else” all of your memories are about how Hinata was being influenced by Naruto Hanabi but I understand your sentiment 

I know this is supposed to be a recounting of a very serious moment but I can't stop laughing about Kakashi's five hour straddle of Obito like sensei like student

“You just lie there, okay?” Kakashi is so gentle with the friend he was just trying to murder  

“What's that?” Hashirama should really be more fazed about being a face titty on his bff

Black Zetsu is such a dick Kakashi and Minato don't deserve this 

Madara: Family reunion?

Sasuke: How about I kill you instead

Madara: Why does everyone I invite keep saying this 

Real talk how does Madara even know what Sasuke's eyes look like if he HAS NO EYES CURRENTLY

This episode is called "The Hidden Heart" and I hope it's a joke about Madara's heart being hidden under his Hashirama face titty

In a way the Tailed Beasts are all like bickering siblings

Nothing livens up a party like auto-cannibalism

Kakashi, three seconds after declaring possible victory: I failed

Gaara and Shukaku's friendship means the world to me we've come so far my tiny murder child

FLY SAND BOY FLY LIKE THE WIND

Hashirama, after witnessing Madara kill literally thousands of people: Madara is fundamentally kind

Tobirama is already pinned down Madara now you're just being mean

“To be honest, I've been wanting to do this to you for a very long time now” Kinkshame Madara Uchiha

Tenzo's jutsu is strong enough to hold off the five Kage and I'm very emo about it

“He's using wood style... who is he?” I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE OF THE THE TWO WOOD STYLE USERS TO EVER EXIST IN THE UNIVERSE ONE OF WHOM IS DEAD

“I asked you what does it feel like to poo” Swirly still asking the tough questions over 17 years later

God bless Sakura shouting words of encouragement as she heals Naruto

Naruto and Sasuke vowed to die together and they are so hardcore committed both of their hearts stopped at the same time