#conversation

[huariqueje]

Street scene with conversing couple in the dark - Harald Engmann , 1930.

Danish, 1903-1968

Oil on canvas,  40 x 31 cm. 15.7 x 12.2 in.

[cugzarui]

hey hey you should read sorry but im not into yuri

I enjoy dumping a bunch of rb of "im sorry but im not yuri" onto people and just watching as half my following start melting and deperately going to read the entire manga

[akwardsilince]

Person A: "I could give you the world!"

Person B: "The fuck do I do with that."

[p-assionateheart]

[readtrovert]

"I realise I believe in magic."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it's the perfect explanation for why my stomach flip flops, my heart wants to come out of my chest, my face grows into a grin and my cheek turns as red as a tomato whenever I see him. It's obvious that I am under a spell, specifically under his spell."

[the-flesh-vessels-ghost]

If I had money to blaze this, I would. Holy shit. I have never seen this sentiment put into better words. Anyone up for a good-faith duliscussion in the comments?

[synticity]

if you feel like you're always getting talked over, or if you feel like you're always accidentally interrupting people, you should consider looking into some of the linguistics research about conversation style and turn-taking. lingthusiasm podcast has a great episode called "how to rebalance a lopsided conversation" that goes over some of this research in a really accessible way; Deborah Tannen's book You just don't understand is an early book¹ that's aimed at general audiences on the same topic.

the thing is, when there's conflict in how a conversation flows, often what's going on is a mismatch in norms or expectations -- not that one person is necessarily acting "wrong" and the other person is "right." the mismatches in norms/expectations can and do align with existing power structures in society, but being more aware of them can really help you as an individual trying to navigate them.

you can train your brain for more linguistic awareness! start listening for pauses, intakes of breath, or back-channeling that's meant to support, not interrupt. try it out!

¹ I am linking to the wikipedia page for the book rather than a link to buy the book because it's kind of outdated and the criticism section on the wiki page is pretty reasonable. If you do read this book, be prepared for uhhhh period-typical gender essentialism that, to my knowledge, Tannen has not particularly updated her views on in the intervening time. But it is an influential and important book, just read it skeptically imo

[rapplesart]

Jason : Dick, I need your help.

Dick : Oh my god it's finally happening my little brother needs help!

Jason : Dick listen-

Dick : Alright so you know how to bury a body and make it disappear. You're good at cooking and stuff so no household help. You definetly don't need a pickup after drinking...... So what kind of emotional mess are We in?

Jason : First of all, rude!

Dick : You'd hang up on me after said "I need", I am nothing but polite here!

Jason : Well you're not wrong.

Dick : See?!? So, emotional mess?

Jason : Yeah OK listen, I did a Bruce.

Dick : You did a what now?

Jason : A Bruce. There's a kid sleeping on my couch and -

Dick: Oh my god. Are they an orphan?

Jason : Yes? No? I don't know.

Dick : Black hair, blue eyes?

Jason :..... Yes

Dick:..... Well,.... Are you gonna let them fight crime after they discovered your secret identity and/or force their way into your nightlife by being a sidekick you never asked for but can't get rid off any more?

Jason : OK Listen, he came like that!

Dick, whispering: Oh my god, you did a Bruce.

[museify]

[yeesiine]

The intimacy of deep conversation.

[balkanparamo]

The Art of Conversation: René Magritte

[facts-i-just-made-up]

could i get some facts about me to recite when new people ask me to tell them something about myself and my mind goes immediately blank

This is a problem that happens to many people with much on their mind. Here is a set of things you can tell people, no matter what the occasion:

I am not made solely of pine-wood or pine-derivative plastics.

I have between zero and four thousand limbs, inclusive.

I contain several liters of my people's water.

My name is comprised mostly of real letters (Musks may differ).

I am unaware of the contents of soil on most exoplanets.

My spleen is smaller than the Chicago metropolitan area.

I am not, have never been, and may never be you.

Telling people these facts will always put them at ease and quell any concerns they have about your normality.

[deloveusion]

sex after tough conversations >>>>

[agirlwithglam]

Ok guys so I no longer preach being only interestED in conversations. Hear me out because if you find that you’re still not able to hold a conversation, like me- this is what was most likely holding you back.

THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION

(and it’s not asking questions!!!!)

Okay so listen up. I know many people tell you that all you need to do is keep asking questions about the other person and keep them talking the entire time. Once upon a time, I thought this too. Then I tried it out. I kept asking others questions and being interested in them but I just couldn’t understand why they still didn’t seem so eager. But then I looked at other people and the way they had conversations and I realised… they tell stories too.

And that’s what keeps a conversation going. Tell stories about your own life. Talk about yourself as well! I say ‘as well’ because you need the right amount of talking and listening as well.

People want to listen to you too, they want to listen about your interesting life! When talk to them about something you’re passionate about or something that happened to you that relates to the conversation, they’re actually interested guys!!

Stop thinking that you have nothing interesting to say because people do find you interesting. A lot of them DO want to listen to you talk.

When you tell others about something in your life, they will want to learn more, they will be curious. Sometimes because they’re actually interested, or because they’re like you and they want to make you happy and keep the conversation going.

But what I’m NOT saying is to talk about yourself all the time. If you yap about yourself the entire time, others will start to get bored. Listen, people do want to learn more about you, but they also love to talk about themselves.

Make it a conversation where you’re both chipping in and also giving others space, time and your attention while they talk.

Remember: you are interesting, you are worthy of attention and being listened to. Once you understand this, conversations will come easily to you!!

[incognitopolls]

Anon is around age 15–16 with a friend who is 17. They've known each other for a few years and make harmless NSFW jokes with each other often, but anon is worried about whether it's okay to continue after their friend turns 18 in a few months.

Pollmonger comment: anon, you do not need to be worried about (this specific situation) at all.

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