#but that is the delulu speaking and so i keep that in mental italics and parentheses

[xcziel]

a lot of people talking about jk's lack of credits on his album and it made me think

like if it's true he was being - not necessarily pressured but let's say encouraged - to make an album suitable for winning over western audiences, then it's likely he knew the songs would need a high amount of english lyrics. and it does seem as though making waves in the western market is a goal he has had in mind, not just one imposed on him by bh

but as someone who has tried learning language later in life - it's NOT easy for some. and especially if you're used to a high level of proficiency with your language use, it is really hard to have to face an inability to say exactly what you mean, the way you want to say it, in another tongue.

plus, some of us with adhd (and i know speculative diagnoses are sus but just *look* at jk ok? come on) have a hard time prioritizing tasks that don't see immediate reward or that are discouraging because we can't do them as well or as easily as we'd prefer right away

so what i speculate is that possibly one reason for jk dragging his feet on preparing his album was that his english wasn't up to his standards (because being a member of bts means that you set and are also expected to achieve very high standards indeed) for lyric writing

and obviously he could ask for help - but normally the people (person) he'd ask would be his member(s) and it's supposed to be a 'solo' project so i feel like his pride could have kicked in - he recorded other projects just fine, with enough time he surely could swing the english on his own, right? - and then it would be entirely his songs: he'd be expressing himself directly, on topics that were personal to him, and not relying on someone else to paraphrase his thoughts into english. think about how many people he'd have to run the lyrics by to make sure they really conveyed what he meant to say, not what the translator *thought* he wanted to say. and then making sure it scanned/rhymed/was in meter - it's HARD to do in another language (rm does not get enough credit)

so here he is, faced with a time limit "suddenly" (the way every deadline "suddenly" happens for those of us with the time-blindness that lets us say "i'll get to it" until eternity lol) to produce an album if he's going to - everybody else has done their chapter 2 bit, tae has been showing him his music, talking about promo, etc. - but his writing english isn't where he hoped it would be. he has music but it's hard to latch a hook on a song with no lyrics and on top of that he's mainly a singer: words and vocals are his entry point for relating to a song

for all we know he tried switching a composition of his own to english lyrics and it didn't work out to his satisfaction, who knows?

and if he did write the music, would he be comfortable just handing it over to someone else to throw words on top of? i mean, maybe if it was someone he trusted ... maybe.

but then scoot biscuit and bang pd are like here are some ready-made songs, we're sure they'll be hits - you can tweak them but you don't have to really do anything else other than perform them and you can get practice on all the other things you're worried about - planning your own choreo and styling, doing shows solo, western interviews in english, western audiences - without feeling the emotional vulnerability of having your own art and inner thoughts just out there to be judged.

and he looked at his options, and at how all the other members were accomplishing things etc and said ok. ok that's something i can try. and i can't really blame him, even if the results are not to my taste.

also i personally think, just going from subtle things in his conduct, that maybe there was an expectation that this was a way to ensure he *not* sing about things maybe that could put him under more scrutiny industry-wise. like if the songs he would write might be uhhh imprecise with the pronouns (or even scarier very precise in the 'wrong' way) leaving the meanings up to audience interpretation, sending a message that might be taken in a non-company/industry-approved way that kind of thing. that wouldn't happen with a selection of predetermined songs and collaborators that management had more control over and thus wouldn't need to worry about jk accidently (or not) scuttling the big western takeover plans.

and i don't think this is any kind of full explanation, obviously, but more just an idea of one tiny piece of something that might have affected the decisions made, something happening in the background

think about oh for example jm's letter - if jk wanted to write something like that, have something similar as part of his introduction as 'big western pop star' how nerve-wracking would it be, how careful would he have to be? to trust that what he wanted to say was actually being said? to sit on sets with clueless western show hosts and somehow discuss it in the english he does command? to listen to bh tweak and massage public perception so that no one in the western press 'gets the wrong idea'?

soo yeah, that he said ok i'm gonna do the sexy popstar thing, don't shoot the messenger lol none of this is coming from my heart except my love of performing for the fans and as bonus i'm screwing around with my innocent baby bunny image, i think that's fair