#but the episode tag has sort of become my dumping ground for Bad Finale Feelings Venting :'D

[mittensmorgul]

Some ppl are again talking about how Dean's anger at Jack in season 15 wasn't justified or it was ooc, and I'm just so tired. Like... Can you imagine if your child lost their soul? And then killed your mother? And then that child was a potentially unstoppable danger to the world you worked so hard to save? And then you find out that the entirety of your free will was a lie? And then imagine that you have a history with struggling to controlling your anger? Idk. I think anyone with empathy should be able to take all those things, and rationally add them up to Dean's reaction 🤦 Sorry, I'm just seeing this drama for this first time since the episode aired, and it's just as annoying as the first time.

Yeah... that's just one more resolution Dean was denied in canon. It's like Dean's arc was just... plonked down on a receipt spike and written off as unnecessary in favor of basically memory wiping him and giving him a personality transplant so that Sam could wear a bad wig and have a blurry wife and we were supposed to feel bad for his son who was a Replacement Dean who was on screen for less than three minutes instead of caring about Actual Dean... Wild...

But okay, finale wank aside... This really was something I assumed would be resolved in the finale, or at least in 15.19. Like Dean would get to have that conversation with Jack and actually apologize and tell him he was their family and he mattered. It's literally the only way Dean's entire arc would've made sense. But Dean was denied ANY resolution. For anything at all. For Cas, for Jack, or even with Sam.

DEAN WAS READY TO SHOOT *SAM* OUT OF DESPERATION. He had to be PUSHED to that point by Chuck's manipulations. Just like he had to be pushed to be willing to sacrifice Jack. He HAD to rationalize his relationship to Jack as being "not family" to even be able to justify his own actions to himself. Because that's just how desperate Dean was, and the lengths he'd been driven to.

I mean think of Dean as a character going all the way back to s1. What is the ONE thing he never doubted? HIS OWN IDENTITY. His free will. His choices. Sometimes they were good, sometimes awful, but he'd always believed they were HIS.

And then 14.20 and Chuck's revelation to him made him doubt even that. How could he trust that anything was real? Even his own identity? HORRIFYING.

I would invite anyone who has never experienced a psychotic break to step the fuck down on this one and shut the fuck up about how this was so ooc. This was literally the confluence of events for Dean that finally broke him completely, and the narrative decided that was how best to abandon him at the end of the story.

I'd also like to remind people that generally Dean's anger is how he reacts to fear. Fear is a useless emotion, but anger is fire under his feet. So when Dean is angriest, it's also usually because he's most afraid. He's not always rational in that anger, but that's sort of how anger works...

gah, mostly I just ignore folks who don't get this. I'm personally happier for it.

and lol, I've got 6.09 on the tnt loop, and Sam and Dean are having the conversation about how having a soul equals suffering, and I feel that a lot right at this moment :'D

[ness-writes]

Runaway, Chapter 1

First part of my foster kid Keith AU. Posted on AO3 here. All chapters will be tagged Runaway for easy navigation

When Keith didn't show up for school on Monday, nobody gave it a second thought. The table wasn't any quieter, his absence wasn't catastrophic—Keith didn't talk enough to be missed in conversation, and a passive comment from Hunk about their friend probably being sick was all they needed to settle the debate. Keith missing a day of class was nothing out of the ordinary. 

When Thursday rolled around and the fourth chair remained empty at their lunch table and all of their text messages were going ignored, however, they began to wonder. Even Lance had been expecting, hoping to see the dark hair and red jacket that was Keith's trademark look.

When he really began to think about it, their table felt strangely empty with the absence of Keith’s presence. Lance hated to admit it, but even quiet and brooding, Keith was an essential part of their group, and without him, things just felt wrong.

It was the tail end of their junior year, and with only a few weeks until their summer break began, things were looking up. AP tests had just come to a close, Pidge had won first place in their robotics competition, Hunk had been invited to be the student aide in Culinary for the coming year, and Lance's season of baseball had just come to a close including a regional game.

The tension was palpable at their table as the three friends sat in silence, Pidge scribbling in their notebook, Hunk eating, and Lance pushing food from one side of his tray to the other. The air was heavy and awkward, filled with unspoken questions, and Lance set down his fork with an audible sigh.

To Lance, the entire situation was getting frustrating. All of this fuss just because Keith had missed a few days of school? It was beginning to tug at his nerves. It wasn't like he was dead. It just pissed off Lance that he'd been ignoring them all the entire time. If Keith knew Hunk and Pidge would worry, why would he continue to stay silent? It was all a big mess, and the longer it went on, the angrier Lance was getting. He really, really wanted Keith to show back up, if only so he could punch him in the face.

"This is getting ridiculous." Pidge said suddenly, dropping their notebook on the table with a dull thud. "Are we going to talk about this or not? Keith disappeared, nobody knows where he is or why-" 

"Keith is fine." Lance cut Pidge off, immediately, shoving his untouched tray away in favor if kicking his feet up on the table, tapping his fingers impatiently on his crossed arms. "If something was so wrong, we would've heard about it already." Lance glared up at the ceiling, fidgety and frustrated. "He didn't disappear, he just stopped coming to class. He's probably just in one of his moods."

"You mean depressive episodes, Lance? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Pidge asked, their glare just as intense. "Shiro said-" 

"Yeah, I know what Shiro said." Lance snapped. "But we'd know by now. Someone would have told us. He's just being an asshole and playing hooky and ignoring everyone." Looking even more defensive than he had before, Lance’s shoulders were hitched up to his ears,

"I mean, we might have heard, but-" Hunk began to speak, trying his best to keep his friends anger at bay, but he couldn’t help but look relieved when Pidge took over for him.

"But it isn't like he talks to his family about us." Pidge finished, adjusting their glasses and crossing their arms as they sunk back in their chair. "Can you honestly imagine Keith telling his parents about us? They wouldn't know who to tell if something happened." They grumbled, glaring at the table. 

"Look, it hasn't even been a week. He'll probably show up on Monday and pretend like nothing happened. I'm not about to waste my time worrying about it, that's just letting him win." 

“This isn’t some kind of game, Lance-” Pidge accused, the irritation plain on their face. “You need to grow up, this is more than just your petty issues!”

"Lance, you know that isn't how he is." Hunk countered, frowning. "If you think he's doing this to get under your skin, you're denser than I thought. We're worried about him, man, we just want to know he's okay." 

"Can we just drop it?" Lance asked, pushing his feet off of the table and standing, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. "He's fucking fine, he's just being an asshole, like always, and he'll be back soon. Even if something was wrong, it's not like we could do anything about it." 

"We could call Shiro." Pidge interjected, narrowing his eyes when Lance shot him a glare. "Don't give me that look. If anybody knows anything, it's him." 

"Yeah, well—" after a long pause, Lance ran an antsy hand up and through his hair. His eyes met Pidge’s for half a second, and he immediately broke the contact, glaring at the floor. "If he doesn't show tomorrow, I'll call Shiro, okay? Forget about it, I'm going to class, I'll see you guys later." Without any other warning, he grabbed his untouched tray from the table and dumped it in the trash, stalking out of the cafeteria with his hands shoved into his pockets.

Pidge mumbled something that sounded like an insult under their breath, glaring as their friend walked off. 

"He's worried too." Hunk said, giving Pidge a sympathetic look. "Cut him some slack. You know how he gets." 

"Still not an excuse for being an asshole. This whole 'in denial' thing Lance has going on needs to stop. He needs to get over himself and deal with his damn emotions. Something is up, Keith wouldn't just disappear and ignore everyone if something wasn't up. I know he can be sort of... Distant, but-" 

"We're still his friends." Hunk agreed, nodding. "I know, it's not like him. We'll get to the bottom of it." Heaving a tired sigh, Hunk pressed a hand to his temples. "For now, though, Calculus. See you after class, Pidge.”

~~~~~

Lance met Keith the summer after his freshman year.

Just a couple of years prior, Lance had befriended Shiro, a friendly tutor at his middle school, and what started out as a childish crush had turned into some strange, brotherly relationship that Lance wouldn’t trade for anything. After that, Shiro had met Pidge and Hunk (who Lance had known since Kindergarten) and the four of them had grown close.

It was the Saturday after school had ended, and Lance had ridden his bike to Shiro’s house for movie night. Dropping his bike on the ground out front, he knocked briefly on the door before walking right in, something he’d practiced since they’d become friends. He was only somewhat taken aback by the foreign face sitting incredibly close to Shiro, their dark eyes, one rimmed in a dark, yellowing bruise, flickering up to meet Lance’s gaze before quickly moving back to watching whatever was on the television.

Shiro perked up, smiling at Lance before standing up and making his way over to his friend. “This is Keith, a friend of mine from when we were kids. He’s going to be a sophomore, and he’s transferring to your school this coming year. He’s staying with me for a couple of weeks until his parents get their new place sorted out.” He said, in means of explanation. “I wanted to introduce you all so that he would have some familiar faces when the summer ends.”

Nodding, Lance flashed Shiro a quick smile. “Cool, cool. Hunk and Pidge won’t be here for another half hour or so.” He said simply, kicking off his shoes and going to drop down on the opposite end of the couch.

After a moment’s hesitation, Lance stuck a hand out, Keith glancing at him like he was from another planet. “I’m Lance, it’s nice to meet you.”

Finally, the boy moved to take his hand, shaking halfheartedly. “Keith. My, ah--My family is moving here from Washington. Shiro and I met when we were kids.” Despite his words, Keith’s gaze was far away, and from this close, it wasn’t hard for Lance to notice the various bruises, especially the dark circle around his left eye, and the still healing split in his lip.

When Lance came to realize that Keith was probably nervous, he whistled low and long, doing his best to relieve the tension. “Washington, wow. No wonder you’re so pale.” He cracked a smile. “That’s a long way away. What brought you to Pennsylvania?”

“Just needed a change of pace.” Keith said. The answer was vague enough that Lance immediately knew he didn’t want to talk about it, and he wasn’t about to push. Not when the kid guarded himself like a wounded animal.  

“Fair enough. Well, it’s nice to meet you. Pidge and Hunk will be here later, but they’re both pretty chill. Hopefully it’ll be the change of pace you need.”

After that, Keith was around a lot. He didn’t seem thrilled about it at first--Shiro was often the one instigating events, and it seemed like the leather jacket clad teen was always near him. In another lifetime, they could have been related, with the sharp features and dark hair. Shiro’s explanation never went further than “We used to live near each other,” and Keith barely spoke to anyone, so after a while, they just got used to it.

Keith opened up eventually, and the rest of the group took him in. Pidge liked his quiet study company, Hunk liked his bad attempts at jokes, and Lance--well, Lance liked just him. He didn’t know why. Keith could be insufferable, rude, standoffish and frustrating, but Lance knew he’d been dealt a crummy card, and his defensiveness could be attributed to several supposedly shitty situations. Keith had become a constant in his life, one that left him feeling stupidly empty when he wasn’t there.

~~~~~

Lance wasn’t sure what made him madder. The fact that Keith had disappeared without a word, or the fact that he was so bothered by it.

Going to class was practically useless, and by the end of the day, his notebook had only dates and times, the writing section completely empty. He’d spent the entirety of his classes in thought, trying to come to terms with exactly what he was feeling. How was he supposed to focus in class when there was so much going on?

Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he had no idea what he was feeling. He had no idea, and his emotions were too out of check to figure it out. 

Thank god the crack of the bat making contact with the baseball was loud enough to drown out his inner turmoil. 

It was overly warm outside, humid with the beginnings of summer, and sunny. He hadn’t bothered changing into his uniform or anything, but he was beginning to regret it. He could feel the sweat slide down his back, and his jeans made his movements awkward and restricted. 

Mumbling a curse under his breath, he tugged his damp shirt away from his skin, wrinkling his nose. Adjusting his grip on the bat, he wiped his palm on his jeans, gripping the handle as the batting machine whirred back to life with another shot. 

The ball whizzed forward and Lance pulled back, hitting the ball at such an awkward stance that it left his shoulder aching. Groaning audibly, Lance threw his bat into the dirt, rolling his shoulder. “This is so stupid!” He shouted, kicking his bat away and stepping to the side just as another baseball whirred past and slammed into the cage with a dull thud. 

Turning around, Lance ran his hands up and though his hair, gripping hard and pulling. What the hell was wrong with him? It’d only been a few days, Keith was probably fine, and yet- 

Depressive episodes.

Stupid Pidge making him stupidly paranoid. Keith was probably fine.

Resting his hands, he took a slow, deep breath and walked over to the machine, turning it off before he could get rammed with another baseball. 

Dropping to the dirt, Lance put his head between his knees and exhaled slowly. It was way too hot, there was too much going on, and now even baseball wasn’t helping. 

Glancing over to his backpack, he gave a long, tired sigh. His shoulder was sore in a way that he knew would leave him feeling sore in the morning, and he was somewhat relieved that he no longer had to worry about injuries for the season.

Dragging his backpack over, he unzipped the front pocket and pulled out his phone, opening it up and scrolling through his messages. One from his mom, a couple of notifications, and a simple ‘You okay, man?’ from Hunk. Lance felt his heart sink when he realized that none of them were from Keith. Without meaning to, his finger strayed to their text conversation, clicking on it involuntarily and scrolling up. There were a handful of messages from his side, all spread across the past few days. The most recent message, which was dated from that morning, was the final message in the line of blue.  

‘It isn’t fucking funny. Pidge and Hunk are freaking out. Get your shit together and get back here.’

Exhaling slowly, he glanced at Keith’s last message, dated for a week ago, a simple goodnight text that made his heart spike with anxiety.

‘Go to bed, Lance. See you tomorrow.’

Stomach turning, Lance shit off his phone and shoved it to the side, his eyes stinging. Why would Keith say he’d see him tomorrow if he’d been planning on skipping? Or if he’d been feeling sick? Keith was planning to go to school, so why hadn’t he ever showed up?

Head snapping up, Lance registered the noise of someone new coming to the batting cages, and suddenly he resigned himself to moping somewhere else. Casting a glare toward the person waiting at the entrance, Lance stood quickly. He gathered his things, dragging his sweat dampened shirt away from his back and slinging his bag over his shoulder. Pushing past the person waiting, a teammate he could barely tolerate, Lance stalked his way out toward the parking lot.

Lance shoved his phone in his pocket, though not before lingering over Shiro’s contact information. Tomorrow. If nothing happened by tomorrow, he’d call Shiro. 

If anything, he wasn’t about to give Pidge the satisfaction.

[drink-n-watch]

Bungo Stray Dogs Season 3 is now over. As much as I miss it, I do like the freedom of not having to go home on Friday evenings to watch anime and write a review for the next day. It really does tie up my going out time. Ever since I started doing episodic reviews I keep telling myself never to do next day reviews…. So OF COURSE, I pick 3 shows for my Saturday post that all air on Fridays… Brilliant!

GRANBELM (Under a Blood Red Moon)

What I knew/thought before seeing the show: I knew next to nothing about the series literally only the title and the Crunchyroll thumbnail. My reasoning for picking it was “I like pink haired heroines”

What the first episode was about: A pink-haired heroine named Mangetsu goes out one evening and gets stuck in a virtual world where magical girls fight with mechas because reasons. She’s very energetic and optimistic about it.

Characters so far: We didn’t get much development since the episode was very action heavy. So far they are pretty shallow but not unpleasant. The two main characters are Mangetsu which is a genki girl archetype and Shingetsu which is a mysterious stoic archetype. I actually liked Mangetsu’s sister the most be we only see her in one scene at the beginning of the episode.

Technical aspects: The designs are cute and I enjoyed the art style. The limited palette establishes a visual identity pretty quickly. I immediately understood something ominous was going on from the colours alone. I was reminded of Yuki Yuna for a while. The voice acting is ok so far and the animation is good but a little jumpy. It comes in spurts.

First Impression: I had a good enough time watching this episode. I enjoyed the first half more than the second but I would continue watching this series based on the first episode. I really don’t have that much to say either way.

Hopes and Fears: I’m enjoying the Magical Girl/Mecha mashup, it’s an interesting genre. The world building has potential and there is a lot of room for this series to grow. I have been lucky with oddball cute girl shows. There is a potential for this show to be very messy though. The first episode did not do a very good job at establishing its world, laws or motivations and my pessimistic side is telling me there’s a big chance everything remains mostly superficial. The fight scenes were a little still and for some reason, I thought this was another mobile game promotion (doesn’t seem to be). Finally, Mangetsu is really striking me as a Mary Sue so far. Let’s see what happens in episode 2!

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FIRE FORCE (Playing With Fire)

What I knew/thought before seeing the show: Oh cool! An anime about firemen. Interesting. They’re athletic, maybe it’ll be a little like a sports! anime. Or a work based Slice of Life…

What the first episode was about: A young man named Shira finally accomplishes his dream to become a fireman (superpowered individuals who fight infernals). Some years ago, people started suffering from spontaneous combustion and becoming infernals, something like fire demons. Those who survived gained pyrokinetic powers which get stronger as they are passed along down generations. As a 3rd gen pyrokinetic, Shinra is particularly powerful but has also been seen as a monster and blamed for tragedies. He now wants to prove he’s a hero instead.

Characters so far: Ok, so this is not a sports! anime by any means but the characters could come from one! We only really get to know Shira but he already has a complex back story and clearly established personality, even a fun quirk of smiling manically when he’s nervous. That’s pretty decent development for one episode. I have high hopes for the rest. Sadly, aside from a few flashbacks to Shinra’s mom, both female characters have been used mostly as fanservice charas so far, which is a little disappointing.

Technical aspects: I actually really like this one so far. It’s probably my favourite style of the three I saw. It has a modern anime look with slightly more reasonable proportions and a variety of silhouettes. In a way, it may be the most realistic looking which is hilarious. The colours are similarly rich but grounded. On the other hand, animation is impressive and fluid. On top of that, the director used a few interesting visual tricks, successive jump-cut transitions in the firehouse, use of different art styles for certain scenes, flashback specific colour palettes… It’s a stylish looking show and I am enthusiastic to see more of it.

First Impression: So this turned out to be a fighting Shonen, complete with an optimistic and determined protagonist who has vowed to be a hero and has a tragic past to conquer. It’s not exactly special, but I really liked it. The universe is quite unusual and the characters have a lot of potential. I’m excited for next week and I’m not surprised this first episode is doing so well.

Hopes and Fears: I was impressed by how well the first episode established everything without it feeling like one huge exposition dump. It even left plenty of time for eye candy fights. They keep praying to an unknown god which I found quite intriguing. It sets up a potential sect or religious/political intrigue. Like I mentioned, two main female characters have some type of suggestive scene whenever they are onscreen unless they’re actively being saved by Shines. To be honest I didn’t mind much but it’s the most basic part of the narrative so far. There is a chance that this will turn into a one-man show/monster of the week type series and Shines doesn’t strike me as charming enough to carry the whole thing. There are some MHA parallels. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing but there you go!

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Dr. STONE (I’ve loved you over 1000 years)

What I knew/thought before seeing the show: Crunchyroll had been advertising this one pretty heavily and it kept calling it a Shonen. So I thought it might be a JoJo like series or perhaps just a classic Dragon Ball for a new generation. Leth told me it was “insane”.

What the first episode was about: It was “insane’! Taijo is a nice guy who goes to high school, is friends with the eccentric haired Senku (who reminded me of Dexter from Dexter’s lab) and in love with Yuzuriha. On the day he finally chooses to confess, a mysterious event turns all humans into sentient stone statues and they remain that way for 3700 years. When Taiju miraculously revives, the world is a very different place. He finds that Senku has also broken free and together they have to figure out how the restart humanity. My alternative titles for this episode review were “Adam and Steve” but they kind of made the joke in the show so it took all the fun away from it, or “Adventures in Wild Science”.

Characters so far: This one is impressive. Taiju and Senku both have clearly established personalities. Not too deep yet but with some variability. Senku is particularly fun to me as I enjoy a slightly morally compromised protagonist but Taiju manages to play the clear-eyed golden boy without being annoying. Even Yuzuriha has an actual character despite being only given a few minutes on screen and I understand exactly why Taiju would fall for her. The premise and setting give motivation and meaning to all the characters actions. To get this much development and plot in a single episode is quite special. I want t know both these guys better and I want to meet more people as well.

Technical aspects: There’s a sort of classic feel to the character design. I’m not saying it looks old but more like timeless. The very angular lines and hatched shadowing creates a nostalgic look for long time anime fans. The animation seems good although it wasn’t on display so much. Compared to Fire Force, Dr. Stne is much more straightforward in both visuals and direction. I do like that the setting gives us so many lush green panoramas to enjoy. The voice acting was probably the best in this series.

First Impression: They distilled booze. In the first episode!!! I really liked this one. It’s a mix of comedy, mystery, survival and actual science which is right up my alley. A very strong first episode that left me wanting to see the next one right away. I took a note that said only “YAY! Chemistry!” which should probably tell you all you need to know about me.

Hopes and Fears: As you may have noticed,  don’t have anything even mildly negative to say about the first episode of Dr. Stone. As far as I’m concerned, if it continues in exactly this way, I will be thrilled. Congratulations Crunchyroll,  you picked a good one this time!

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Oddly enough, all three shows I picked had all the same general tags apply to them. I would say I enjoy the technical aspect of Fire Force more than the other two shows, but the narrative and premise of Dr. Stone most! Poor Granbelm is the clear loser of these three, coming in last on every aspect but I still enjoyed it.

I’m going to keep watching all three shows but I haven’t decided if I’m going to keep reviewing them yet. Also, what do you think about this format? Should I split it up into three short posts? I know that would get more view but it seems more annoying for the readers. Then again if you’re only interested in one show you may not want to scroll through all the other stuff. Very few people ever comment on my episode reviews so I’m not expecting much feedback here. However, if you do leave some, thank you in advance!

Friday Night Sampler: Granbelm – Fire Force – Dr. Stone Episodes 1 Bungo Stray Dogs Season 3 is now over. As much as I miss it, I do like the freedom of not having to go home on Friday evenings to watch anime and write a review for the next day.