#but the idea that Adrien has any fault in that is bullshit and a dangerous message to send to kids in abusive relationships

[hanaasbananas]

let's get covered in flames and play some games with the smoke

@apopcornkernel made this post about enemies AND lovers a few months ago and it IMMEDIATELY gave me MANY ideas. And then what was supposed to be just Vibes ended up being over 8k and historical. Sorrynotsorry

AO3

He finds his soulmate on his birthday.

Having finished a disastrous family dinner, Adrien rises from the table, ignoring father yelling after him and escapes out into the pouring rain.

In seconds, he’s soaked to the bone, and he hesitates on the front steps, wondering if it’s worth going back for his jacket but then he hears the lock click into place and the decision is made for him. Father won’t let him back in until morning.

Not that he had any plans to come home before then anyway.

His hair is plastered to his forehead by the time he  reaches one of his regular haunts on the other side—the wrong side—of town, his teeth chattering in earnest, stopped only by something appearing in his mouth.

Swallowing in surprise, Adrien feels the item slide to the back of his tongue, almost going down his throat and choking him before he coughs, forcing it back up. A group of people skirt around him as they leave the bar, giving him bemused looks while he continues to cough, until he finally hacks out the item into his hand.

A pendant.

Eyes watering a little, he holds it up in front of his face, taking in the colour of the gemstone—the only clue he has to his soulmate's identity.

Not for the first time, he wonders at the practicality of soulmate jewelry appearing in one's mouth, but then, who is he to judge the universe?

The chain glints in the dim light before Adrien curls his fist around it and shoves his hand deep inside his pocket. He knows that shade of blue. He’d have known it was her even without the pendant burning his skin, telling him she’s near.

Lighting up a cigarette, Adrien leans back against the wall, scanning the room for her and finding her sitting at the bar. He’s never met her as a civilian before, though he certainly knows of her. But if she’s his soulmate, why hadn’t he received the jewelry when he’d first become Chat Noir and fought her?

Unless it isn’t Ladybug, but no—she turns to the side slightly and he’d recognise that profile anywhere.

Well. The universe works in mysterious ways. Adrien will certainly never claim to understand them. Taking a long drag from his cigarette, he stubs it out with a sigh before making his way across the room.

“Ladybug,” he greets, sliding onto the stool beside her.

Her shoulders stiffen, though her voice is sugary sweet as she flips her hair and turns to him. “I’m sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong— you !” A scowl twists her lips—coloured a shade of red almost as bright as her suit—and she drops the act.

“Me,” he confirms, bowing his head mockingly. She recognises him of course. He’d expected nothing less.

There isn’t a single girl in this city who hasn’t been warned to stay away from him—and with good reason. After all, Gabriel Agreste may be one of the biggest names in the alcohol trade—and he’s filthy rich to boot— but he’s still Hawkmoth, still has every cop around here on his payroll, can make people disappear with just a snap of his fingers.

Even the most opportunistic man thinks twice before dealing with the Agrestes. Not to mention the fact that everyone knows that one of his sons is Chat Noir, though nobody is quite sure who.

Adrien prefers it that way.

Nobody wants to get caught up in that bullshit. Nobody wants their daughters caught up in it either.

Least of all Tom Dupain—his father’s main competitor in the business. But Marinette Dupain is not the shrinking violet her father thinks she is. He’s seen her swear like a sailor whenever she arrives to fight an akuma, even teaching him a few new words. If they hadn’t been fighting at the time, he’d have proposed on the spot.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Adrien asks.

“What is this?” She's not defensive, but her eyes meet his calculatingly, darting past him to make sure that he’s alone, that she isn’t in any danger she can’t get out of, so he relaxes, feigns nonchalance, making himself as non threatening as possible.

Lifting his shoulder in a shrug, he says “it’s a peace offering, a show of good faith—whatever the hell you want to call it.” He flags down the bartender, raising a brow. “So? Whaddya say?”

He won’t tell her about the soulmate thing. Not yet. But none of their people are here—they’re practically anonymous, just two young people getting a drink together. It’s as close to neutral ground as they're ever gonna get and the night stretches out ahead of them, brimming with endless possibilities.

Eventually, she nods. “Make it a good one.”

***

Green eyes meet blue over the rim of the glass, an invisible tug of war going on between them as they drink from the same glass, lips touching where the others have been. Her presence is intoxicating, more so than the whiskey, and every time her fingers brush his, a thrill runs down his spine, electricity dancing along his nerve endings and he wonders why the bar hasn’t caught fire yet, wonders how the building is still standing around them, hasn’t been reduced to rubble at their feet.

Soon enough, it becomes too much to ignore, and he rises. He’s been to this speakeasy before, knows all about the rooms in the back, and it’s not long before he’s sliding a few notes across to the bartender who hands them a key.

The door barely shuts behind them and he’s already grabbing her dress, tugging at the hem and bunching it up around her thighs. Marinette pushes his suit jacket off his shoulders, fumbles with the buttons on his shirt before giving up and ripping the fabric instead, sending buttons skittering across the floor, deafening in the quiet room.

“That was an expensive shirt, doll,” he breathes over her neck and she laughs, throaty and dark, pinning him with her gaze.

“That’s too bad.”

He goes to kiss her then, to cup her face but she swats him away, taking his hands and planting them on her waist instead. “Keep your hands down here, mister,” her lips curve in a wicked smile “those lips too.”

Rising on her tiptoes, she presses a kiss to his jaw, continuing higher and higher, her breath tickling his skin as she whispers in his ear: “we wouldn’t want you getting any ideas about stealing my miraculous, now, would we?” She bites his earlobe gently, tugging at it with her teeth and dragging a groan out from the back of his throat before leaning back, regarding him with hazy, lust filled eyes.

“Of course not,” he says, tempering his disappointment.

Adrien’s never wanted something as much as he wants her lips right now. He wants to kiss the lipstick from her lips, taste her mouth and feel her tongue against his own, and she knows it. She can see what she’s doing to him, but he sees through her, sees that she wants it just as much and if she wants to play games, well...he’s never been one to turn down a challenge.

Instead, he dips his head, nipping and sucking at the column of her throat, tasting the salt on her skin, letting the scent of her perfume wash over him as he noses the strap of her dress down her shoulder.

Pressing kisses against the exposed flesh, he grins when she clutches at his shoulder, her legs wrapping around his waist, and he stumbles backwards towards the couch, Marinette’s gasps filling his ears like the best kind of music.

Afterwards, he watches her leave in her rumpled dress, gloves clutched in one hand, purse in the other. She pauses in the doorway, looking back at him.

“I’ll be seeing you again, Agreste,” she says, and it sounds like a promise.

He stays, long after she’s gone, pouring himself another glass of whiskey, examining the lipstick print she’d left on the rim of the glass, and he thinks:

Happy fucking birthday to me.

***

They do meet again.

He doesn’t seek her out, but they run in the same circles, frequent the same bars, and once he notices, it becomes impossible to ignore. They gravitate towards each other, neither able to stay away for long.

Soon enough, it’s not enough to spend a single night here and there whenever their orbits happen to collide, but consciously making plans to see each other. It’s lying sated in bed together, limbs draped over each other as they share a cigarette instead of hastily getting dressed and leaving with her scent still clinging to his hair, her lipstick marking his skin.

He learns the planes of her body, memorises the taste of her skin and what makes her come undone beneath his fingers. Still, Marinette never lets him kiss her. He hasn’t tried again since that first time, though the craving for it keeps him awake at night, a sweet ache deep in his bones that never goes away; a thirst he cannot quench no matter what he tries.

He learns the planes of her body, but does not yet know the taste of her lips.

***

“Where’s this one from?”

Propped up on one elbow, Adrien gently traces one of the scars on Marinette’s exposed back, feeling the raised skin underneath his fingertips.

“No idea,” lying on her stomach beside him, Marinette watches him lazily. “I stopped counting after that first week of akuma battles. Does it matter?”

“I thought the cure—” he breaks off, suddenly distracted when Marinette sits up, the sheets pooling around her waist.

Rolling her eyes, she reaches out to grab his chin between her fingers, pulling his attention away from her breasts. “Doesn’t work on me,” she shrugs, “it never has.”

He’d thought the miraculous cure only left him scarred as punishment, reminding him that he was doing the wrong thing. His scars are well deserved, but Marinette’s are not

Is this his fault too? Adrien thinks of the soulmate necklace that he always keeps in his trouser pocket, holding onto it like a talisman whenever Marinette isn’t near.

He still hasn’t told her, but now he wonders. If someone else was her soulmate, would her skin be unblemished, all damage reversed at the end of each battle? Is it her connection to him that gives her these scars?

Adrien doesn’t have an answer.

Maybe it's selfish—who is he kidding, it’s definitely selfish—but as he pushes Marinette back down onto the mattress; as he explores her body, kissing her scars and committing each one to memory, he can't help but be glad that they match.

***

In the meantime, they still fight as though nothing has changed. And nothing has, not really.

Father still sends out akumas, Adrien is still his fathers lackey, and Marinette still comes to fight them both.

If there’s a new synchronicity to their movements, a new, more intimate knowledge of how the other moves, they don’t mention it. And if he’s more careful about where he lets his staff land, about the power behind his blows, he doesn’t mention that either.

Nothing has changed. And yet nothing will ever be the same again.

***

Marinette doesn’t figure it out for another month, but when she does, she’s spitting mad-angrier than he’s ever seen her.

She collides with him as soon as he enters the bar, before he can so much as shrug off his jacket, grabbing his hand and dragging him into the back room. The door only just shuts behind them and she’s whirling on him, eyes blazing.

“Why are you going easy on me?” She hisses, poking him in the chest “I haven’t been injured in weeks.”

He raises a brow “and that’s a bad thing now?”

“Yes!”

“Well I’m sorry, but I prefer when a fight is evenly matched.”

That, and every time she stands against him in that red suit, radiating power, seeming for all the world to be invincible...all he can think about is what lies beneath. Of her skin, pliant and soft beneath his fingertips, of the scars that litter her body.

He knows them all now. Knows which ones took the longest to heal and which still hurt her sometimes. What he doesn’t know—what keeps him awake at night, guilt gnawing away at his stomach—is which ones he gave her.

So many years. So many battles. How many of those injuries were inflicted by him?

Adrien will not be the one to add to them, lengthening his list of crimes. He won’t stop the akumas from hurting her—father would get suspicious after all—but that doesn’t mean he has to take part.

And there are other things that distract him

“ Evenly ma—” Marinette almost shrieks in outrage, stamping her foot. “ They always have been!”

“They were,” he corrects her. “Not anymore though.” Stepping forward, he leans in close to whisper in her ear, his breath ghosting along her skin, “it’s not a fair fight when I’m distracted. When all I can think about is your legs around me.” Marinette’s breath hitches and he grins, circling her “when the entire time I’m imagining what your lips might taste like, and all I want to do is stop fighting so that I may kiss you instead.”

Marinette’s cheeks are flushed, her breathing unsteady when he pulls back, but she’s quick to recover and meets his gaze defiantly. “Then kiss me.”

Adrien blinks, his turn now to be taken aback. “What?”

She shrugs, examining her nails nonchalantly. “Kiss me then. Or was that all talk?”

He doesn’t have to be told again.

Surging forward, Adrien cups her face for the first time but he doesn’t take the time to savour it, his fingers already sliding to the back of her head, burying in her hair as her hands fly to his shoulders and capturing her lips with his own.

Kissing Marinette is nothing like he imagined. It’s better.

As her lips move against his, Adrien thinks in a distant part of his mind that it was probably a good thing they waited this long to kiss, because already he is addicted to the taste of her. His tongue swipes against hers and her arms circle his neck, pulling him even closer. Her mouth is intoxicating and he could get drunk off the taste of it, like caramel, like expensive chocolate and strawberries—a forbidden fruit, acquired at last.

***

“You know, I wouldn’t have to keep doing this if-sit still” —Adrien presses down on her hips, holding her in place as he makes the final stitch through her skin and cuts the thread, reaching for a clean rag— “if you didn’t keep taking hits that aren’t meant for you in the first place.”

Marinette rolls her eyes, leveraging herself into a sitting position so that he can bandage her wound more easily. They’d struck an agreement, Adrien promising not to hold back during akuma battles as long as she meets with him afterwards to get patched up. So far, it’s been working a great deal better than doing it herself , especially on days like today.

This injury had been one of the more nasty ones—the akuma’s blade slicing through her side. The only reason it hadn’t gone straight through her belly was because she’d been pushing a civilian out of the way and it had caught her side instead, but the jagged blade had still done a fair amount of damage.

“I’m Ladybug , that’s kind of my whole job. Now if your father’s akumas would stop sending those hits…” Marinette trails off, staring down at him with an arched brow, though the effect is diminished by the hiss of pain that escapes her as he wraps the bandage tightly around her torso.

Adrien’s grin is sharp when he looks up at her through his eyelashes, and once again, she is taken aback by just how beautiful this man is—the sharp angles of his face, his thick messy hair, and piercing green eyes. Beautiful, yes—and dangerous.

He winks at her then, teeth glinting in the low light of the hotel room, “now where’s the fun in that?”

***

Adrien isn’t sure when it shifts.

He’s noticed the change of course. Noticed how they laugh between kisses more often than not, how their interactions are gentler—a fire simmering under the surface instead of consuming them whole.

It’s dangerous, what they’re doing, and yet they can’t seem to kick the habit. What started out as strictly physical, as a way to blow off steam is turning into something else, something he can’t—or won’t —put a name to.

***

There’s no akuma tonight, and Adrien is enjoying the rare moment of peace. In the distance, someone is having a party, the music spilling out onto the street and he finds himself nodding along to the tune when a flash of red—Ladybug—crosses his eye.

Curious, he follows her from a distance, watching as she stops at the docks. His eyebrows rise. The only thing people come here for is alcohol shipments. Carefully, she sets down a large crate atop a pile that was already there.

“Why, Ladybug,” he drawls, stepping out from the shadows. “I didn’t take you for a bootlegger. What will the papers say? Aren’t you supposed to be a model citizen?”

She snorts. “Model citizens can still drink .” Gesturing over her shoulder at the crates, she shrugs. “Papa asked me to drop these wine bricks off during the day and then I forgot. Now’s as good a time as any.”

“Under cover of darkness?”

“ Obviously . Ladybug might drink, but I’d rather not find out what would happen if people saw her contributing to the trade of alcohol.” She reaches behind one of the crates and pulls out a bottle of wine “want some?”

“Drinking debauches mankind, you know,” he remarks and she wrinkles her nose, popping the cork and taking a swig. “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Well then it’s a good thing I’m a woman isn’t it?” She smiles coyly darting out of his reach when he tries to grab the bottle. Taking to the rooftops with him hot on her trail, her laughter echoes around them, a happy joyful thing that makes his heart sing.

Ah, he thinks, catching her round the waist and holding her close. So this is love.

***

Some nights, she’ll sneak Adrien into her bedroom instead of getting a hotel room. It’s a thrill, having to keep quiet, especially when Adrien takes great pleasure in drawing noise from her lips, forcing her to bite her tongue until she tastes blood, lest her papa come investigating.

Marinette is fairly certain maman knows what she’s up to, but she turns a blind eye and Adrien is usually out just as the first rays of sunlight bleed across the sky, his hair like molten gold.

Not this time though.

This time, she wakes to his arm lying heavy across her middle, his head buried into the crook of her neck but it is not a slow awakening.

“Marinette?” Papa knocks loudly on her bedroom door and she jerks up, heart pounding wildly in her chest as she scrambles to put on her nightgown.

“I’m up, papa!”

“Shitshitshit —” Adrien is still only half awake but there’s no time—she shoves him onto the floor. Casting her eyes desperately around for his clothes, she pushes them into his hands and shoos him under the bed before practically launching herself across the room to her vanity, grabbing her hairbrush just as papa walks in.

“Good morning, pumpkin!” papa booms, crossing the room and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I just wanted to see you before I go.”

“Go…?”

Papa nods. “We’re running a raid on one of Agreste’s warehouses and I’ll be on the floor with my men when it happens.”

“Oh,” Marinette’s voice is faint as he continues to talk about the raid. She forces a bland smile, acutely aware of Adrien underneath her bed, listening to their conversation.

After what seems like an eternity, papa leaves, ruffling her hair as he goes, laughing at her attempts to swat him away.

“Goodbye, papa! Good luck!”

Hardly daring to breathe, she listens carefully, waiting for papas footsteps to recede, going further and further down the hall until she hears the low murmur of conversation between her parents in the kitchen.

Only then does she relax, dropping her hairbrush onto the floor with a thunk. “You can come out now.”

Adrien emerges from beneath her bed, but she can’t meet his eyes and he doesn’t say anything either. Still, he pecks her briefly before leaving, fingers brushing against her jaw and she leans into the touch, pretending that she does not see the conflict brewing in his green eyes.

Not for the first time, she wonders what she is doing with her enemy. Wonders at the risk she is taking, not just with her own life, but her papas as well, and all those in the city who she protects.

She’s playing with fire as if she’ll never get burnt, but even if she did, she thinks she’d probably dust herself off and jump right back into the flames, as long as Adrien was there to greet her.

***

Adrien mulls over the information on his way home, trying to decide what to do. Is it not his duty to protect the business he will one day inherit? It’s in the family's best interest. It’s in his best interest.

He could tell father. He should do it.

But he won’t.

***

The raid goes off without a hitch. Her papa is unharmed—though bewildered at her sudden affection, but it is Adrien who receives the majority of it after a week of staying away from him, too worried about the raid to do anything but stay home all week.

“You didn’t tell your father,” she says afterwards, pouring out their drinks and passing him a glass. They’re naked, the sheets tangled around them and her mouth is red and swollen from his kisses, but the way his fingers close over hers, lingering for a second before drawing away seems somehow more intimate, and she feels a flush rising on her cheeks, looking away and throwing back her drink in one gulp. “About the raid. Why?”

Adrien shrugs. “I could hardly warn them about something I’d never heard about,” his voice is laced with nonchalance and she rests her head on his shoulder, letting him toy with her hair as he speaks. “I wasn’t there now, was I?”

He doesn’t elaborate, but there’s no need to. The implication is clear and Marinette feels the last of her doubts slip away. He will not betray her.

It is this thought, the absolute certainty with which she believes it that brings the  final defences around her heart crashing down, and finally, finally , she lets herself define what it is that makes her heart beat faster whenever Adrien is near, that has her laughing so hard at his stupid jokes that she snorts wine out of her nose. that has her searching a room for him as soon as she steps through the door, restless until she finds him.

She laughs then, twisting around to kiss him full on the lips, burying her hands in his hair and pressing herself closer to him, so close she can almost feel his quickening heartbeat underneath his chest

Love, she thinks. It’s love.

***

“What would you do,” Marinette asks conversationally, drawing circles round and round on Adriens chest. Though she feigns nonchalance, there’s a slight tremble to her voice that she hopes he doesn’t notice. “What would you do if I said I love you right now?”

Adrien stills.

“Are you saying that now?”

She avoids his eyes “maybe.” She’s wanted to say it for a while now, the words simmering below the surface, always on the tip of her tongue whenever she sees him,  but she can’t help but be afraid. Afraid of what might come after.

“Well,” Adrien sounds amused, putting a finger gently under her chin and tilting her face up to meet his. “I’d say I love you too.”

***

“Keep your eyes closed,” Adrien says, one hand on the small of her back, leading her up the final flight of stairs.

There’s only one door on the landing—precisely why he chose this place—and he fumbles in his pocket for the key, almost dropping it in the dark.

“Adrien,” she whines, stomping her foot adorably and he laughs under his breath, pressing a quick kiss to her brow before unlocking the door.

“C’mon doll, just through here,” he guides her to the middle of the room, moving to stand in front of her, “go on then, you can look now.”

Marinette opens her eyes slowly, hand flying to her mouth as she turns on her heel, taking in the apartment they’re standing in.

“Adrien…” she meets his gaze, eyes wide “what is this place?”

“It’s ours,” he says, taking her hand. “I uh...I bought this place for us. No more hotel rooms.”

It’s small. A little cramped too, and the wallpaper is too dark, which they’ll have to change, but moonlight filters in through the large window and she looks at him like he’s bought her a mansion, like it’s the most beautiful place she’s ever seen.

“No more hotel rooms,” she repeats, a smile playing about her lips. “I like that.”

***

In the weeks that follow, they practically move in together. Instead of frequenting the bars in the city, and partying all night, she’ll make her way to the apartment where more often than not, Adrien is waiting for her.

They start to bring things in, a few books here, some records there. One night, rather than tumbling into bed, they get drunk and rip off all the hideous wallpaper. The next night, Adrien brings paint with him and they make the place their own.

It’s almost enough to make her forget everything. Almost, but not quite. After all, they never meet out in the open-the risk of either of their father’s men seeing is too great-can never be seen together

There are nights when she will stay up, running her fingers through Adrien’s hair as he sleeps beside her, and wishes that they could run away. When she sees the dark circles under his eyes, and he tells her of his father’s latest cruelty, of his frustration at being run ragged every day, she worries that their story will not have a happy ending.

Sometimes, she looks at her friends, at Alya and Nino—the open affection they share—and feels jealousy rise up inside of her like a raging monster crying out that it’s not fair!

On those nights, when she feels with such certainty that they will not have a happy ending, she settles for holding him tightly; for loving him in these secret moments in the darkness, and hopes that it will be enough.

***

Adrien gets the stone from the soulmate necklace set into a platinum band, gets their initials engraved on the inside.

He gives it to her on the anniversary of that first night, so long ago—almost a lifetime—finally letting go of his secret, and anxiety churns in his gut as he leads Marinette over to the mirror in their bedroom.

Standing behind her, he wraps his arms around her waist, burying his face in her neck. Marinette giggles, reaching back to tangle her fingers in his hair. “We didn’t have to come all the way over here to cuddle you know.”

“No, I—” Adrien swallows, his mouth suddenly dry. “I wanted to show you something.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out the small box, noticing distantly that his fingers are trembling as he opens it, showing her the ring inside.

“Is that…”

“Look,” he turns her to face the mirror again, holding the box up next to her eyes. “It matches. I didn’t tell you before, but…”

“We’re soulmates,” Marinette breathes, eyes sparkling brightly. Carefully, he slides the ring onto her finger and watches as she admires it, turning her hand this way and that, watching the stone catch the light.

He still can’t quite believe that she’d accepted it so readily. After the way he’d agonised all week, with the ring weighing heavy in his pocket with every day that passed, the sheer joy on Marinette’s face makes the breath catch in his throat.

To keep that look on her face, he’d do anything. He’d throw a lasso around the moon and pull it down for her, if only she’d ask.

She’s his soulmate . Adrien’s lived with the knowledge for a year now, but he still struggles to comprehend it sometimes. That she is his, that the universe chose them for each other.

It’s far more than he deserves, and he has to resist the urge to kiss her, to sweep her off her feet, hold her in his arms and never let go.

Marinette has no such reservations however, and she throws her arms around him, kissing him, slow and deep. “Let’s go away,” she says. “Just for a weekend. Somewhere that nobody knows us.”

How could he say no?

***

It’s exhilarating, being out in broad daylight.

She’s used to spending her nights with Adrien. Meeting him in dingy bars and dark alleys, hotel rooms with the curtains pulled closed, and though she’s seen him in the early mornings, when the sunrise spills through the window and tells them that their time together has finished, but it is an entirely different thing to see him outside.

Outside, where the sun glints off his blonde hair, transforming it into spun gold; where she discovers new shades of green in his eyes and is blinded by his smile, cheerful and bright in the daylight.

He’s never been more beautiful to her than he is now.

Adrien seems to be similarly affected, if the way he looks at her is any indication, and Marinette feels as though she is glowing from the inside out, basking in the heat of his attention.

In two days, they do everything that they couldn’t do in a year. They go to the park, and to the beach, holding hands—the action feeling somehow more scandalous than any of the other things they’ve done together—without fear of being seen.

She wears the ring he gave her and they pretend to be newlyweds and go to the fanciest restaurant in town. They go to a dance hall and dance the night away, then stumble back to their hotel in the early hours of the morning, hands fumbling with each other’s clothing, as he captures her mouth with his, their kiss a hurried clash of lips and tongues and teeth as they tumble into bed together and he makes her come undone beneath his fingers.

It’s the lightest she’s ever felt, and Marinette knows that she will cherish these two days forever—the glimpse that she got into the life of normality they might lead, if only things were different.

She never wants it to end.

But it does end, and thing’s aren’t different. In fact, things are worse.

Because when they return, the city is on fire.

***

It’s easy to follow the trail of destruction behind the akuma. Easier still to get the corrupted object and purify it, but as the miraculous cure sweeps over the city, putting out flames, restoring levelled buildings and knitting everything back together, Marinette feels the weight of her responsibility settle on her shoulders.

She’d felt so much lighter with Adrien, when they were away, but that could never last. Not when she has a duty to the people, when she is the only person who can set things to rights.

As she looks out over the healed city, Marinette turns away, frustrated tears slipping down her cheeks.

She can never leave again.

***

“And where have you been?”

Adrien pauses in the entryway, meeting father’s thunderous gaze. Félix stands beside him, though for once his brother doesn’t look smug at Adrien being in trouble.

And he’s definitely in trouble.

Father could hardly care less about one of his akumas nearly burning the city to the ground, but he does care about what his sons are doing. Or not doing, in this case.

That’s what he doesn’t yet understand. Father has a pattern and he sticks to it, never once deviating, no matter what. It was why Adrien had chosen this particular weekend to go away, knowing there was no possibility of an akuma attack, knowing that he would not be missed.

Squaring his shoulders, Adrien drops his bag by his feet. “Out.”

In three quick steps, father strides across the hall, his hand cracking across Adrien’s face, making black spots dance across his vision. “Did you have permission?”

Adrien remains silent.

“Answer me!”

“No,” he bites out. “I did not.” His cheek stings, but he resists the urge to touch it, clenching his hands into fists.

Abruptly, father’s expression clears, and he turns on his heel, motioning for Adrien to follow behind him. Silently, he does, ignoring the spike of worry in his gut in response to the troubled look Félix sends him.

Once they get to his office, father settles behind his desk, lighting a cigarette for himself before speaking again.

“Did you know,” he starts, almost conversationally “that Tom Dupain has a daughter? She’s around your age, I’d say.” Father pauses, shaking his head with a smile and the sight makes Adrien’s skin crawl. “Oh, what am I saying—of course you know her. Quite well too, from what I’ve heard.”

Adrien’s blood runs cold.

“I didn’t want to believe it of course,” he continues “but I did a little digging, and you know what I found?”

Numbly, Adrien shakes his head.

Opening his desk drawer, father pulls out an envelope, shaking out the photographs inside. They spill out across the desk, incriminating him. Incriminating Marinette.

Hadn’t they been so careful about being seen? Taken every precaution they could? But no, Adrien realises. Once he’d gotten the apartment, they’d grown lax. He’d gotten cocky, thinking that nobody would see them there.

Except someone had.

The photographs are of the two of them, exiting the apartment building. Marinette’s head is tilted up to meet his and he is cupping her cheek in his palm. In any other circumstances, he’d think it was a beautiful photo, but all he feels right now is horror, churning away in his stomach and robbing his ability to speak.

“You thought you were being very clever weren’t you? With that little apartment you got together.” Father is watching him carefully as he speaks, and Adrien struggles to school his expression, to seem unaffected. From the slight tilt of fathers lips, he is unsuccessful.

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t entirely convinced that this wasn’t something simply...carnal. Something I could turn a blind eye to. Until this past weekend.”

Bile rises in his throat as suddenly, Adrien understands. The akuma attack hadn’t been a spur of the moment thing. It was a test. A test that he had failed.

“She’s distracting you. From your duties to this family, to our cause .” Reaching for the nearest photograph, father looks him directly in the eye, stubbing out his cigarette on Marinette’s face, the paper smouldering and blackening underneath the cigarette.

“Break her heart,” he says “or you’ll be picking up the pieces of her broken body instead.”

***

Adrien kisses her as soon as she arrives, his hands warming her face, drawing her closer and deepening the kiss. Giggling against his mouth, Marinette wraps her arms around his neck, pressing herself flush against him.

“Hello to you too,” Marinette murmurs, pulling away slightly. Her brow furrows when she sees the expression on his face, her smile dropping. “Adrien…?”

His face is shuttered, the shadow of a bruise on his cheek but when she lifts a hand, reaches up to touch it, he flinches away from her. “Adrien?” she asks again, swallowing down her unease “are you alright?”

“I am now that I have these.” Avoiding her gaze, he steps out of her embrace, holding up a hand and opening it to reveal something small in his palm.

Marinette blinks.

Something round. Two somethings—a pair— round and dark.

Something familiar .

Hands flying to her ears to confirm what she already knows, she laughs shakily. “Very funny, Adrien. Give them back.”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“N —” her voice rises with panic “Adrien this isn’t a game!”

“It is, actually,” she stands, frozen to the spot as he circles her, his lip curling with contempt. “Did you really think that I meant any of this?” He laughs mockingly, leaning in to whisper in her ear “it was all just a game , so that I could get these silly little earrings from you.”

“No…No you’re lying.” Marinette stammers, even as her heart sinks, as she feels it crack in her chest. And still, she doesn’t want to believe it, can’t believe it. “Adrien, stop this, it isn’t funny anymore.”

He doesn’t respond, simply shakes his head and clicks his tongue in disapproval, walking slowly past her to the door.

Marinette doesn’t think, just acts, launching herself at his back and wrestling the earrings from his grasp. She doesn’t notice how easily he relinquishes them, aware only of the blood rushing in her ears, adrenaline coursing through her veins and she runs .

She doesn’t look back, doesn’t stop, not until she gets home, locking herself inside her room. Hands shaking uncontrollably, she struggles to put the earrings back on before giving up, throwing them across the room with a frustrated yell.

Stupidstupid she’d been so stupid to let herself fall for his tricks so easily. Had he laughed at her? When she had swooned into her pillow, recounting his affections, his words, had he gone home and mocked her with his father and brother, laughing at how quickly she had fallen into his lap?

The shattered pieces of her heart cut and slice at her insides until she can hardly breathe, agony unlike anything she’s ever felt before spiking through her; and as tears blur her vision, falling faster than she can wipe them away, Marinette half expects her eyes to be leaking blood.

***

He doesn’t see her for an entire month.

Adrien doesn’t particularly remember that first week after he breaks Marinette’s heart, the days blurring together in a constant haze of drunkenness and grief, but he does remember that he never saw her, even from a distance.

It’s better this way, he knows. Now Marinette is safe and at least father doesn’t know she is Ladybug, but he cannot forget the betrayal in her eyes, how he saw her heart shatter as he destroyed them in the worst possible way.

And yet, he can’t stay away.

“You’re not wearing your ring.”

It’s the first thing he notices, his eyes alighting on her hand as she exits the bar. The second thing he notices is how tired she looks. Her eyes are ringed with dark circles and her mouth a scarlet slash standing out in stark relief against her sallow cheeks.

And still she is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Marinette falters at the sight of him and then she freezes, squaring her shoulders and levelling him with a glare. “Why would I wear it?”

“Look, I just—” he doesn’t know what to say, and he watches helplessly, unable to reach out to her, acutely aware of the people father has watching him, following his every move.

“Save it,” she snarls, “I don’t believe a single word out of your mouth anyway.”

He sighs. “I deserve that.”

“You deserve worse.” Marinette starts off down the street, barely sparing him a second glance as she passes by him, her arm brushing against his slightly, sending a frisson of electricity running down his spine. “Actually, no—” she spins on her heel, eyes blazing. “I need to know—why did you do it?”

“I loved you. So so much,” her voice breaks and he yearns to reach out to her, to pull her into his embrace, hold her close and never let go. “With all my heart.” Marinette continues “and you...did you never love me at all?”

If I answer that question, then your love will pale in comparison , Adrien wants to say. He opens his mouth to speak, to say yes! Yes I loved you! I still do, but no words come out.

Marinette’s eyes fill with tears. “I guess that’s my answer then.”

This time when she leaves, she doesn’t look back.

***

Breathing heavily, Marinette spins her yo-yo as a shield, ducking out of the way of the akuma’s fist and circling around him. Stepping back slightly, she watches him warily, waiting for her next opening.

A quick movement catches her eye, a dark blur just behind the akuma and she struggles to maintain her focus, keeping the yo-yo aloft.

The fight has been going on for over three hours now, and her strength is flagging, the sight of Chat Noir enough to sap the last of her energy. She can’t fight him as well. Not now.

Maybe she could face Adrien—in fact, it would be preferable—but ever since that night, his brother had taken over Chat Noir’s duties, and Marinette doesn’t know his movements, his fighting style like she does Adriens.

She doesn’t have time to learn either. Not when the akuma—a butcher with an unlimited arsenal of deadly tools at his disposal—throws several sharp knives one after another in her direction.

Cursing Hawkmoth under her breath, she dodges the knives, leaping backwards and propelling herself onto the closest rooftop, narrowly avoiding the baton Adrien’s brother swings at her as she passes by him.

Struggling to catch her breath, she wipes the blood from her forehead, crawling over to the edge of the roof and surveying the street below. They’ve  emptied now, most people having retreated into their homes after the first few injuries. Some still linger, accidentally wandering into the battlefield and she has to keep an eye out, making sure to shepherd them away quickly before they get hurt.

She’s never seen so many civilian casualties in an attack before, and as she watches the akuma throw a giant cleaver, she is suddenly fiercely glad for her miraculous cure, even though she can feel her ribs throbbing in pain, knows that she will be bruised black and blue later.

Unbidden, Marinette remembers the reverent way that Adrien would trace her scars, would kiss them and ask about each one and she bites back a sob at the memory. She has new scars now—ones he can’t see, ones his brother gave her, and he will never know about them.

Part of her is glad. But every time she bandages herself after a fight, when she lies awake at night, in too much pain to sleep, she finds herself pretending-just for a moment-that it was real, that Adrien had meant it all, that the warmth he had provided her with-the safety- wasn’t just a farce.

She cries herself to sleep those nights.

Shaking her head, Marinette brings her attention back to the street below, her mind racing as she tries to figure out a plan of attack. Her thoughts are too jumbled though, and below her, the akuma roars once more, growing more agitated by the second.

There’s no time for a plan. Not if she wants to end this fast.

Swallowing hard, she gathers her courage and jumps down from the roof.

***

Adrien watches, his heart in his throat as Marinette narrowly avoids being thrown backwards like a ragdoll, getting out of the way just in time to only be knocked off her feet instead.

She stands, wobbling slightly and he knows it is only a matter of time until she is completely unable to fight. Not that it is much of a fight anyway-it’s been going terribly almost from the get go.

Father certainly knows what he’s doing. For the past week, each akuma has been more deadly than the last, and Adrien has watched from the sidelines as Marinette fights on two fronts—the akuma, and Félix.

He thinks of her scars, of how the cure cannot save her, how she is so close to losing now, growing weaker by the second. She won’t be healed, she can’t come back from this, I have to —

His brother vaults past where Adrien is standing. “Félix!” he hisses, reaching out and yanking on his baton.

Félix jerks back with a glare, his voice irritable. “What?”

“Give me the ring. We need to swap.”

“Are you mad?” Félix snorts. “Father’s angry at you. I’m not letting you get me in trouble too.”

“To hell with what father thinks!” Adrien yells “give it to me!”

Félix hesitates, sensing the seriousness of Adrien’s demand. Behind them, a sharp cry rings out and his head snaps back, seeing a young woman fallen on the street, her leg twisted at a sharp angle, clearly broken. Marinette’s seen her too. So has the akuma, reaching into it’s arsenal of weapons ready to take advantage of her distraction. Nonono —

Whipping back around, Adrien glares at his brother.

“Now!”

***

Looking around wildly, Marinette pulls the civilian's arm over her shoulder, half dragging, half carrying her off the street, searching for a safe place to leave her.

“Ladybug! Over here!” A voice calls out and she sees someone step out from the building in front of her, taking the young woman from her arms and hurrying back to safety.

Turning back around, she misses the look of horror that crosses his face.

And then she sees it.

Hurtling towards her—so fast that she can hear it whistling shrilly—is a giant honing steel moving so fast that she knows, even as she ducks, that it will hit her.

The whistling grows louder, a deafening scream filling her ears and she squeezes her eyes shut, bracing for the impact.

It never comes.

Instead, there is a sickening squelch , a muffled grunt turning into a guttural, pained yell. Opening her eyes,  she stares up at Chat Noir—not Félix but Adrien —standing with his back to her.

Standing impaled on the honing steel in front of her. Protecting her.

Scrabbling backwards, she watches as he falls—almost in slow motion—to his knees, a shocked gasp escaping from his lips when she reaches for him, lowering him carefully onto the ground.

Green eyes meet blue and a relieved smile breaks out across Adrien’s face, transforming his pained grimace.

“A -Adrien —” she stammers, clutching at him, careful not to jostle the steel embedded in his gut. “Why—what—”

“You deserve worse,” her own words echo in her mind, taunting her, and she lets out a sob, almost a scream, “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t—I didn’t mean—” She can’t hear anything over the blood thundering in her ears, isn’t aware of the battle raging around her as the entire world fades away to nothing, narrowing down until they are the only two people left.

“I know,” Adrien says, as if reading her mind. “It’s okay, I know. But know that...” He coughs, ignoring the blood that splatters his chin “that I didn’t mean it either. What I did.”

Marinette’s breath freezes in her lungs. “You—”

“Lied,” he nods, but the movement causes him to hiss in pain. “Sorry...I’m so sorry,” he wheezes, “I had to protect you. From my father. I had to—I had—”

“Shh, Adrien, no it’s okay,” she shushes him, falling silent as he grasps her hand, moving it so that it lays flat over his heart, where she can feel the faltering thump of it beneath her palm.

“ I love you,” he breathes, “I always have. I didn’t say it enough, but...” his fingers tighten almost painfully around hers, voice turning plaintive “you do believe me?”

“Yesyesyes—” Marinette nods madly, and with a flash she drops her transformation, uncaring of who might see her, desperate only for him to hold on, to show him—

Her fingers are slick with his blood, and it takes her several tries before she successfully pulls the chain out from under her dress, yanking it over her head. “See?” she shows him the ring, threaded through the chain “I never stopped wearing it, see?”

“I’m...I’m glad. Keep it for me, won’t you?”

The gemstone glints in the dying sunlight before dimming suddenly and she stifles a sob, knowing what comes next.

“Hey...hey—” breathing heavily, he moves with great difficulty, lifting his hand to cup her face “come here, doll,” she lets him guide her down until their faces are barely an inch apart. For a long moment, he simply stares at her, his green eyes roving over her face as though trying to memorise it.

Impulsively, she moves to kiss him then, one last time. It is meant to be a chaste kiss, but Adrien’s lips move against hers with a fervour that surprises her, his fingers tightening in her hair and she clutches at him, desperate to imprint every sensation of this last kiss into memory.

Pulling away, she sees the ghost of his signature smirk tugging at his lips, even as his breathing becomes more laboured “a kiss to remember me by, eh?”

Surprised, she laughs through her tears, stilling as carefully, he wipes them away, his thumb stroking her cheek. “No more tears, okay? No more tears.”

Pressing her lips together, Marinette nods jerkily, laying beside him and resting her head on his chest. With great effort, Adrien brings his arm around her shoulder, holding her close as he is able to and she closes her eyes, imagining they are back in their apartment, lying together in bed, the sheets tangled around their waists, the sun creeping along the floor through a crack in the curtains.

Marinette doesn’t hear the battle end. She doesn’t see his transformation fall, or his kwami drift to sit beside his head. She sees nothing, hears nothing as her tears mingle with his blood and she lies still, counting every last beat of his heart until finally, there is nothing left to count.

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (April 11th-16th)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After the Truth episode occurs, Luka will either not appear nor be talked about(not even by Marinette, Juleka, Sass, or Anarka) at all, or, if he does appear, he'll avoid Marinette like the Black Plague. Guess who's fault it'll be(Kagami will still appear and be on good terms with Adrien, though, since anything that makes Marinette happy needs to be either ruined or gotten rid of, while anything that makes her miserable needs to stay around just to be rubbed into her face.).

I s2g if they have Adrien and Kagami patch things up immediately just to make Marinette feel awkward--

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The idea that Nino's hat is a keepsake from his late brother comes up during an episode where it inevitably gets damaged and/or destroyed. Marinette is somehow responsible/blamed for this, and/or is forced to try and repair it regardless of feasibility, while being guilt-tripped/ridden every inch of the way. Bonus points for Adrien making some clueless comment about buying a replacement and STILL being treated as more empathetic to Nino's feelings even while ignoring them.

“Bonus” if everyone pressures her over the hat, which eventually leads to Marinette realizes that it can’t be fixed to be the exact same way, so she hides it and lies about it, leading to the episode blaming her for hiding things from her “totally understanding friends” (who are suddenly “totally understanding” and are only upset that she lied to them/”thought so lowly of them”) instead of her friends for making her feel like she had to be perfect.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: A Sleeping Beauty-inspired akuma will ensnare Ladybug, 'forcing' Chat Noir to kiss her awake. While Adrien/Chat naturally claims that he would 'never take advantage of his lady', he is openly gleeful at the prospect and taunts her afterwards, complete with a call back to Oblivio as he tells her to 'check the LadyBlog' to find out what happened. Her dismay over this is played entirely for laughs.

*flashbacks to the “jokes” in “Prime Queen”*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Just like in countless Salt Fics, Alya will get upset at Ladybug for claiming that it's 'too dangerous' for her to be Rena Rouge anymore after Miracle Queen. Regardless of what she does/how she lashes out, Marinette will be held 100% responsible for the fallout, with Su-Han criticizing her for selecting Alya/the others in the first place AND for 'allowing' their identities to be exposed.

That’s what you get for trusting people, Marinette (apparently).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will expose more Miraculous-related secrets on the LadyBlog, such as posting the identities of the heroes who were 'already outed' by Miracle Queen. Marinette will be blamed for this, with Su-Han reading her the riot act for every single choice she's made.

And also, Alya will get no flack for this because “she’s a journalist!! she’s just doing what she’s supposed to do!”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After spending most of the season taking the piss out of Marinette at every available opportunity, Su-Han will start warming up to her just in time to be taken out of the equation by something like Alya posting another 'big scoop' on her blog revealing his existence to the villains. Marinette will be left with even less support and all of the guilt, while Alya learns absolutely nothing from the experience because why would she?

Considering “Truth,” I just automatically presume that characters who support Marinette lovingly/unconditionally will either be abused or kicked to the curb.

Anonymous said:

Don't need Burrow: "Queen Banana" will be like typical episode with Chloe akumatization. 90% Chloe drama and angst, 10% akumatized Chloe (and probably 0% sense)

Show, I’m begging you, just let this character’s focus die already. We are SO tired...

Anonymous said:

didnt need burrow: the show ends with hawkmoth (now shadowmoth i guess) being defeated, heavy implications that the LS will be canon, but no solid proof, any other plot holes disappear in the cheery end music and all fans are left annoyed at the open ending filled with plot holes (bonus: That Guy says smin like "you would know if you watched carefully" to anyone that asks wtf happened)

Fun for us love square salters at least so there’s that? :P

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Trixx wants to return to Alya despite the danger/her past exposure, and ignores Marinette's concerns, leaving/reuniting with Alya over her protests. This is either played as 'It's fine, and Marinette should have trusted Alya more' or 'It's not fine, and it's all Marinette's fault for trusting Alya in the first place and letting Trixx get so attached'. Or both.

Astruc would totally use the opportunity to brag about the whole, “She’s already taken!” line in “Truth” being foreshadowing.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Bunnix reveals that there is an alternate, 'better' future in which Lila never worked with Hawkmoth and became a heroine instead. The turning point was, naturally, that Ladybug never called her out for lying/stealing from Adrien. (Possibly because Adrien never snooped in the safe in this timeline, yet it's still depicted as Marinette's fault.) May couple with confirming she's the future Hawkmoth and that it's all Mari's fault the heroes are still fighting her years later.

Which means that Chat makes the “reversible” mistakes (i.e: Cataclysming Bunnyx’s miraculous) while Ladybug makes the “permanent” ones.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette/Ladybug will get accused of being a selfish glory hound who needs to learn how to share the credit and 'be a team player'... after Adrien/Chat slacks off during a fight and refuses to help. Bonus points if this is tied into the exposed heroes' predicament somehow, implying that the REAL reason she won't give them 'their' Miraculi back is that she's selfish/short-sighted/not good at working with others/insert other bullshit excuse here.

T_T

I’m so tired.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will do something unbelievably selfless and self-sacrificing, only to promptly be slammed by the narrative and treated as though her decision was incredibly selfish.

Honestly you could just ad lib that.

“Marinette will do [something positive], only to promptly be slammed by the narrative and treated as though her decision was [negative].”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will pressure, belittle and berate Marinette until she breaks and agrees to give up being Ladybug/the Guardian. This is naturally treated as the worst thing she could possibly do, with everyone (including Su-Han) ripping into her for it. There is no equivalent of Plagg's 'I've had many holders, but nobody can replace you, Adrien' shilling, beyond Marinette being informed that she MUST continue and deal with her many inadequacies by becoming BETTER. She has no choice.

“You’re the worst Ladybug!”

“Okay I’ll stop being Ladybug.”

“HOW DARE YOU”

“?!?!?!”

Anonymous said:

Don’t need Burrow to know that the writers will retcon Marinette allowing Adrien to BORROW her lucky charm so that Marinette actually GAVE it to him instead.

Bonus: of course, the birthday scarf issue/secret is never addressed. RIP in piece, Marinette gift number xxx0

Technically, this has already happened even back in “Befana,” so I don’t count it. Adrien has said that Marinette gave him that lucky charm forever.

Definitely adding that scarf one though.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get Love Square scenes (shipping fuel) in the next episode (even though Maribug and Adrichat just broke up with Luka and Kagami).

I mean, we got love square shipping fuel in the Adrimi and Lukanette episodes, so :|

I’ve just come to expect inappropriate timing at this point.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a future episode Chat Noir will be even worse than he was in Lies and still be portrayed sympathetically. I don't know how you can get that low, but I have faith that the writers will be able to pull it off and that's not a good thing

“I don't know how you can get that low“

they’ll find a way, I’m sure

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Kagami will become an antagonist/team up with Shadow Moth post-Adrimi breakup for the plot twist "the main villain has been in the show all along." ((This is based on the end card for Lies. I really hope they don't do this because Kagami is one of the only reasons I'm still watching the show.))

I’d only be here for that if her endgoal is getting Luka and Marinette as far away from the plot as possible.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We STILL don't know how the Peacock Miraculous got damaged and how Emilie Agreste fell sick. Bonus points, we find out in the season/series finale or on social media.

Double bonus if Astruc claims that the decision is good and they did it on purpose (probably to keep people talking).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe debuts as the new Bee holder on the same episode Chloé is akumatized.

I’m 100% expecting Chloe to be salty at all the adoration that Zoe gets.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: if Adrien is ever in the wrong about something, it will only be for about five minutes and it will ultimately be blamed on Marinette.

Marinette: *breathes*

writers: Yes! Something we can blame on her!

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: The relationship between the Couffaines and Jagged will not be explored. They might perform a song together and that's all, Luka forgives Jagged for abandoning him (his daddy issues just magically disappear so he doesn't bring it up anymore) while Juleka doesn't interact with Jagged at all

I’m torn between, “Luka will basically never appear again,” and, “Luka will suddenly appear much more often now that he’s no longer a ‘threat’ to the love square (Marinette didn’t break up with him because of Adrien but sure).”

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: "Gabriel Agreste" will be all about how he's not really evil just misunderstood. He had a lonely childhood or some garbage and we should feel totally sad for him you guys.

wow i hate it

[bananasmiles2952]

I'm aboutta post about the miraculous fandom again, but I'll hide it because it's gonna be a rant and that shit gets long sometimes <3

So, new episodes, new problems. I really love the way the show shows these ineffective methods of problem resolution and avoidance, and effective methods as well. You see, I am just going insane, frothing at the mouth if you may, at this whole "Alya knows who Ladybug is but Chat Noir feels betrayed because he is her partner first and ooops now he gets less action in akuma fights and he thinks Ladybug doesn't really need him anymore but actually she's just a scared little girl and adults are terrible" thing. Oh geez I'm gonna have to itemize all my points, here we go:

1. Alya knowing Marinette's identity is a good thing. It's a really good thing. I have mentioned in a previous post that these teenage superheroes are in a really bad position of extreme parentification and being forced to grow up too fast. Ladybug has seen her partner literally die several times!! She has seen entire sections of her city, sections she knew had people, leveled and flooded and burning and crushed to the ground, no sign of the life that was once inside them. She has had to lie pretty much every second of every day for more than a year, with the old guardian saying she should lie more and her kwami suggesting she lie less (about things that aren't about her identity) and it gets so confusing that now everything is a secret for Ladybug, because no one can know what's the truth about what she says and what's a lie, because if they know, then they'll know who Ladybug is and the world as she knows it will end. Now, that last take was irrational, but for a child with the weight of the world on their shoulders and that weight getting heavier and heavier every day? That's what she thinks she has to think, because any complacency would cost lives.

Alya knowing means less she has to think about, less she has to plan completely alone, and more confidence that she can handle this insane responsibility. Alya knowing means she can go back to being Marinette just a little bit more, and know that she doesn't have to be Ladybug all the time. Every aspect of her life has been taken over by this bullshit and that is traumatizing and exhausting, and she just went from zero support system to having her best friend back.

2. Chat Noir doesn't have to know who she is, and he is alright with being upset about it, but the right thing to do in that situation is talk to the person who is upsetting you and letting them know how you feel. Now, Chat Noir is an abused child. He has never been allowed to tell his father that his behavior was upsetting him (think internalizing reasons like, "he works so hard, he's probably too busy, and if I say something, then he'll just be stressed and busy"). It makes sense that he would transfer this thinking over to Ladybug, another authority figure in his life, not over him, but someone he knows to have a lot of responsibility. In his mind, if he tells her he's upset, it will only cause her stress and make her job harder because she has more important problems. But the thing about being an adult?? Just because you're busy and you're stressed and you're dealing with the weight of the world doesn't mean you are allowed to upset the people around you, even unintentionally. A healthy family for Adrien would have allowed communication, for his father to listen to him, even though he's busy, and to let him know that he understands and it's alright for him to be upset about something like that. And if he was using this framework for handling conflict, he would know that even though Ladybug has big responsibilities, they can talk to each other about their issues and reach an understanding. BUT let's move past his childhood trauma, there's more to talk about in this point.

Chat Noir is allowed to be upset, but internalizing it is bad, very, very bad, especially because he's a superhero. Gotta practice that healthy mindset when you need all your focus to defeat butterfly man. If he bottles it up and hides it from the world, his pain will grow and morph into something dangerous as it turns from sadness to anger. We've seen him lash out at a chimney, which shows just how much pain he's been hiding, since he's never been a person to lash out, especially not with violence. That scene was meant to make it obvious he's getting close to a point of no return, that he is so upset at the world that his method of holding it in is cracking and his anger is breaking loose. And from the new episode, we can see that he's now losing control of his ability to hide it, and Ladybug keeps seeing and keeps asking if something is wrong. And this is supposed to be a relief for him!! He's supposed to see her reaching out to see what's wrong and know that she cares and that he should tell her, because she'll want to fix it with him!! But his dad is shitty, so instead of seeing how much she cares, he only sees a warning that his mask is slipping, and he hurries to right it before running off.

The adult thing to do is talk about your feelings and problems, but they're kids, and for him at least, abused kids at that.

3. (told you this would be long) Chat Noir and Ladybug knowing who they are is different from Alya and Nino knowing who they are, by a lot. Alya and Nino are supporting superheroes, which doesn't mean they aren't as important as Ladybug and Chat Noir, but you literally can't get things done if you don't have a Ladybug. If Alya and Nino knowing who they are compromises them, there is so much less to lose. Hawkmoth getting their miraculouses means he gets more powerful, yes, but it doesn't mean the fight is over. Ladybug and Chat Noir would still be in the game, and they could still fix it. If Ladybug and Chat Noir knowing who the other is compromises them, there are 4 things at risk:

1. The miraculouses and the balance of the friggin' universe

2. The holders for their miraculouses would have to be replaced if they avoided capture

3. Now that Marinette is guardian, her memory and the safety of the miraculous box would be at risk.

4. Marinette would have to replace Chat Noir, and I don't think she can ever do that

If Shadowmoth could use their identities against them, there is so much more to lose. And Alya and Nino don't have the same weight on their shoulders that Adrien and Marinette have. I get why Chat Noir is upset they know each other, but the rules are different because the risks are different. And the pain this causes them is yet another reason this is parentification and abuse!!! Fuck Fu, you don't do this to children!!!!

4. Chat Blanc is some serious fucking trauma my dudes. Like, oh my god, Marinette touched her catacyslmed body aND WATCHED AT IT DISINTIGRATED BEFORE HER VERY EYES. She saw miles and miles and miles of what was a vibrant city under a sea of water, not a single living person to be seen. The fucking moon had a hole in it. And she saw the one person she trusts the most, the one person who know just what they are going through because they're going through it together, vulnerable, angry, and ready to destroy the world. And he said it was their fault, but we know Ladybug only heard that it was her fault. That if she hadn't slipped up and let him know her identity by leaving her name on a present, she could have prevented the loss of life of millions, potentially billions, and she could have prevented whatever pain caused her kitty to lose control and end the world.

It makes sense that she doesn't want anyone to know. It was her slip-up, after all, that caused the chain of events leading to Chat Blanc, the lucky charm proved as much with that eraser. And if she doesn't say anything about it, she can lie to herself and say it didn't effect her, because none of what she saw ever actually happened. But we know Chat Blanc haunts her nightmares, we knew that even before we saw her nightmare in Sentibubbler, and if she doesn't say anything about it, if she doesn't talk to a fucking therapist, she will break apart everything she is desperately trying to hold together. It would be easier for her to know that she is hurting people if they would tell her, like with Chat Noir refusing to talk about his need to be needed, but she doesn't know. And I think she wants, more than anything, to make sure it doesn't happen ever again by defeating Shadowmoth as soon as possible. If he's gone, there will be no one to turn her kitty into a monster, and she will have saved him and herself. If he's gone, she can finally let down all the walls. You can see her desperation to end everything by her crazy ladybug towel getup mad scientist lab experiment, and her desperate ranting and hurried rush for ideas, and her sadness at how close she got to getting rid of him in Sentibubbler as she watched him get away. She wants her kitty to know, and she wants him to be safe, but he never can be with Shadowmoth around.