#but they never said he had to be tall so we're gonna go for whichever has the actor has the chops

[derangedthots]

so i was thinking abt how harry said when he auditioned for jace that the other actors were taller+buffer than him and he thought he wasn't gonna get the role...imagine one of those actors ends up getting cast for cregan

[greenxprof]

Flashback + meeting Red

( memory archive... | accepting )

Pidgey sang their morning song once more, a beautiful day rising from the horizon. The sun rose slowly, rays of light breaking through the young child's window.

Voices were heard downstairs, before eyes could even open. Familiar, deep and old, the voice of a Grandfather who rarely spent the morning home to begin with.

Curiosity woke the child up, and lead it downstairs to peek at today's event. Maybe his grandfather would stay for the day, maybe they would visit the kid's mother once more?

But upon arriving down, faces the kid's never seen before. A young woman with hair like a tree bark, and a tall, strong man with a red cap resting his hand upon her shoulder.

The kid prepared to turn back, but something else showed up before they could leave.

A small boy, around the kid's age most likely. He clung to his mother's dress, droopy eyes avoiding the sight of adults, shy and retracted.

Both kids saw each other, and suddenly the world seemed a little less scary, a little less boring.

"Ah, you're awake." said the grandfather, turning to the child who just showed up. "This is ▊▊▊▊▊! She just turned five. Daisy's younger sister."

The two unknown adults giggled, and the woman gently pushed her son forward. They announced his name, Red.

Red shrunk further, too shy to approach this new kid he just met. The kid thought a boy should be more courageous, and so they stepped forward, thumb pointing at their own chest.

"Hey Red! From now on, you're gonna be my friend!" said the kid, leaving Red no choice.

The Grandfather seemed unhappy about the child's behavior, shaking his head apologetically at their brand new neighbors. They seemed amused, though, happy to see their introverted son had someone willing to befriend him.

The child approached, grabbing Red's hand without a care in the world. They had bright orange hair, tiny freckles around their face, and the eyes of someone who didn't want to hear no.

"Let's go play outside!"

And they did. The child cared not for Red's quietness, lack of words, shy movements, unsure eyes. He barely knew how to play properly, and the child thought this was odd.

Odd, so odd the child had no choice but teach Red how to play like a proper kid.

But, odd and shy, Red seemed like a good friend, the child thought. Not the kind of kid that would make fun of them, that would say bad things about the way they'd behave... Red looked like someone who would be willing to hear all about that they had to say.

When the sun hit the peak, Red's parents left the house, goodbye to Grandfather and Daisy. It's time to go, they said, but the child puffed their cheeks before pointing an inquisitive finger at their new friend:

"We're gonna play more tomorrow. I'll come get you after breakfast!"

It might have been the kid's imagination, but Red's lips tilted upwards in a shy smile of approval. Whichever's the case, Red played with them the next day. And the next, and the next...

[your-hotdog-husband]

3:45 am: I'm shopping the Safeway app for gluten free foods after taking my ambien. This is always the worst time for me to be on my phone. I heard recently that gorillas at the zoo get so fixated on people's smart phones that it's become disruptive to the whole... "gorilla experience." Signs have been put up in some cases, asking patrons to please leave their phones in their pockets. They should lend (well, rent, realistically) camera lens attachments that allow you to hide your phone while taking pictures. IDK how this idea really could be executed. This is the worst time of night for me to be on tumblr. What is likely to be even more disruptive for some folks is the metal detector being proposed for San Diego Zoo's Gorilla World exhibit.

My wife is snoring like a... hound with allergies and sleep apnea. So... I'm gonna raid the kitchen. I left a slice of gluten free pizza in the toaster this morning. The crust was too soggy, even though I baked it almost perfectly. I'll either check the instructions or try using a grate or whatever on top of the bacon sheet. I know I said bacon. We rarely rarely eat bacon. We don't keep any in the fridge. We'd end up finishing it before the week is over. But now I'm thinking about a bacon sheet. We'd cook our six slices in the morning for breakfast or brunch, and then use the grease for baking something. How about... quesadillas? Pizza. Grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, chicken! Right? Add it when grilling some lean hamburger patties. See, this is what happens. Around 2:30 am, an app should lock up my phone until I've had at least 7 hours total of solid, real sleep. Or it's 9am, whichever comes second. I really shouldn't be on my phone at this hour. I really am liable to say anything. Well, I've never turned nazi, and I've done this quite a lot over the last couple years. I wonder how many people fancy themselves having absolutely no nazi qualities, but once you pump them with ambien (zolpidem, generic), they throw around racist epithets, talk about elective enthnic cleansing for parents-to-be. Neuro-conforming, blond haired, blue eyed babies, tall and muscular, smart but not too smart. Well, I'm talking about it. I don't like it. I'm against it. I'm only bringing it up to illustrate how creepy it is. See, if you make your white clone army too smart, they might overcome their nazi indoctrination. Especially the women. I'm not being sexist. I'm a man, and most of my best friends are men. See, I'm mentioning sexism only in context of not engaging in it. See, there are inherent differences in humans due to differences in testosterone levels. It's not so much that testosterone makes us stupider, it just makes us more suggestable when we are amorous and after experiencing sexual pleasure, and for much of the time in between, as long as one isn't amorous for too many hours, in which case we become too irritable and distractable to influence. We're more likely to fumble about and break things in a desperate attempt to do something productive in the garage, kitchen, or office. Or we'll be in the bathroom with the door closed for a while, trying to remember the hair and style of a classmate in 12th grade, along with any of their unusual facial expressions, particularly involving their lips and closed eyes. Oh, don't forget the tongue. She (or he) always let their innocent facade slip. But only to be funny, but then again not that funny. The humorous delivery was just an excuse for an awkward double-entendre, still out of character with her good girl style. I wonder what kinds of guys she hooked up with at City College. I hope they weren't all douchy. Maybe she stuck to good Christian boys at campus fellowship, or from Bible camp. Did they make out in the boating shack? Go to third base or 3½ in the back room of the nature center?

I'm quite peckish after looking at sausages and many other foods on my phone. My wife's done snoring, bad timing as always. I hope the one sad little slice of pizza does the trick. I'm out of lunch meat.

[liljungie]

Pawn To Rescue | 2

Science Student Jungkook

Word count: 2k

*Italic is jungkook's thoughts*

Part one is [here]

Warnings: blood and a few swear words.

× I'm gonna make a tag list let me know if you want to be added so you're notified whenever I post PTR parts :)

Masterlist

A/N: I don't like to describe body shapes in my stories because I don't know what the reader is imagining so I'm sorry if it bothers you, you and your body are beautiful and loved❤. But this is just to paint a picture that the girl is extremely mistreated by umbrella. Enjoy reading.

×

After he safely got the girl inside he felt less paranoid. He took a deep breath after the door was closed shut and locked. Usually he would just turn the lock once. But he locked it twice then turned to her. She was looking around the place.

Thankfully Jungkook wasn't a messy guy. He liked his surroundings to be clean although his desk will always be messy. And that just goes back to this weird thing about him where if his desk is clean he can't study. Other than that the dorm was clean and inviting.

"Don't worry I live alone" he walks towards his bedroom to grab his phone. He quickly typed something on it and sent it in the group chat before he tossed the phone and jogged back to her. Smiling softly at her. he figured she must be thirsty so he made his way towards the kitchen and filled up a cup of water then walked towards her handing her the cup.

The way she looked at it was like how a man looked at a treasure. Which made Jungkook wonder, so not only they starve them they also leave them to dry? because he swore that he only blinked then the water was gone completely from the glass cup.

He giggles and takes the cup from her trembling hands. "Let me fill it for you again...or would you prefer juice?" He asked softly. He knew she doesn't talk. Probably doesn't know how to. Or did umbrella cut off their tounges too? So they couldn't scream if they were tortured. Whichever way he still wanted to talk to her even if she doesn't reply. It makes things less...awkward.

But a soft spoken question made his pupils dilate "juice?" She asks staring at him with a questionable look. He laughs and lets out a sigh of relief. She talks! His research is going to be so much easier now.

"Y-Y-You...You're..t-talking!" The cup dropped from his hands shattering into pieces. Jungkook and the girl flinched from the sound of it falling but he is far more interested in the fact that she talks.

He places his arms tightly on her upper arms."You can speak!" She stared at him and nodded her head quickly. Jungkook looks between her eyes. Back and fourth. He let's go of her when he sees that she's a bit scared of him now. She must be thinking 'What he never saw a girl talk?' When he steps away from her the glass breaks beneath his feet and he realizes he should clean it up. He squats down and begins to collect the pieces.

Just now he noticed that she was barefoot and the glass was digging in her skin. Horrified at the scene. He pushes her lightly backwards away from the bigger, sharper pieces. Even though it was too late."the glass is cutting you! You didn't feel that?" He shouted-ask. She frowns and stares at her feet then back up at his face "i-it didn't hurt" she whispers. Jungkook clinches his jaw. it was going to drop. How can she not feel the pain? Although that made him confused he was far more concerned about her bleeding foot. So he collected the bigger pieces as quickly as he could then he turns to her and picks her up.

She let's out a yelp of surprise and continues to stare at him. Confused of course.He places her on the bathroom counter turning her feet towards the sink. He turns on the faucets and looks at his side. Where she sat biting her nails and staring at him. "I'm going to take them out of your feet..tell me when it hurts okay?" He firmly spoke to her. Concentrating on the task at hand.

She nodded and he turned his sight back to her feet. Which were so muddy and scratched. just in terrible shape. Did she crawl out of hell? He looks at her then pulls out the biggest piece of the three. The wound started to bleed so he places a cloth to stop the bleeding. Then pulls the other two. They didn't bleed as much as the first.

He noticed how her eyes flinched when he took the pieces out. He tended her wounds and wrapped up her foot in a bandage. "All done!..you didn't even flinch good girl!" He praises then turns to her she looks up from her hands that were on her knees and for the first time she smiles back. "T-Thank you" she softly tells him then he picks her up again.

Jungkook only smiles and places her on the couch "there's still glass on the floor that I have to clean up so don't put your feet on the floor just yet okay?" He tells her. already gone to look for the vacuum.

.                                         .                                       .

Jungkook lays down on the couch next to her and let's out a sigh. He ended up vacuuming the living room and his room because he hadn't vacuumed in awhile. His neat freak instincts were turned on as soon as the vacuum cleaner sound buzzed.

Then he hears a stomach gurgling.It wasn't his. He turned to her. Her eyes were too focused on the screen rather than her stomach. He got up and headed to the kitchen. He eyed the ingredients in his fridge. She'd probably eat anything. He's sure she doesn't have favorites.

He still wanted her to eat something that tastes good and something that'll fill up her stomach. He went for peanut butter sandwiches. Then walked towards her. She was still looking at the damn screen he was a bit annoyed at her so he turned it off. When he switched off the TV she looked at him. Finally! "I made food" he mentions for her to follow him and she does.

"These are called sandwiches.." He tells her then slides the plate towards where she's sitting on the kitchen island. "And juice is any type of fruit that is umm.. squeezed" he cringed at his explanation but he hopes to God she understood him and knows what 'fruits' are even though she stopped paying attention when he slid her the plate and she began to devour it.

She started coughing but continued to eat. Which made jungkook's eyebrows furrow "hey hey- slow down! the sandwich is not going to fly!" he scoffs then pushed the banana juice towards her "wash it down with this" she took the bottle and chugged it down. Never in his life he saw someone eat the way she just did.

What the hell was umbrella doing to these patients? He understood why she was eating the way she did. The girl barely has weight on. When he carried her. She was so light and her bones felt like they'd snap between his hands. Her face however looked healthy. Besides the few cuts she gotten from the Bush earlier. But other than that she is beautiful...wait...am I really observing her...like that. He shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts. He'll take her back to umbrella as soon as his research is over.

He is not allowed to get attached or feel any type of way towards her! She's his patient now. And when he's done figuring out why umbrella wants her back so bad he will personally drive her to umbrella's headquarters. Where she belongs.

"I just realized...we don't know each other's names" he laughs scratching the back of his neck "do you even have one?" He asks. she looks at him and nods with her eyes. She finished eating minutes ago. "Well...mine is Jungkook...and yours is?" He raises one of his eyebrows questionly she swallowed then spoke "Z" he repeats it "Zee?" She shakes her head no repeatedly pointing to the tag attched to her lab gown "Z" then it hits him. "just one letter?" He asks She nods "hmmm definitely unique" he murmurs under his breath.

"So tell me Z why didn't you talk from the beginning?" He scoots closer to where she was seating "I was afraid that you wouldn't feed me...because if we talk they don't feed us" she slowly answers. Making his curiosity grow bigger. "Who's they?". "The Titan and sometimes doctor X and his nurses" his eyes grow wide. 'Did she just say titan?' "Who is the titan?" He asks confused and a bit scared. "He's big and... tall and- and he is programmed to guard us" she mutters.

Programmed? Hmm. "Us? You mean there's another girl like you?" She nods her head "no we're 15" 15 patients?! Who were her age mayhaps younger. why did umbrella keep them hidden? And on top of that guard by a titan! Normal security guards couldn't do the job?. He scoffs.

Should he be worried about Z now? He's starting to doubt the idea of keeping her here. She could be dangerous. And from what he just heard. Guard by a Titan! She must be or have something that is out of this world.

"Tell me about the other 15 patients...are they like you? You're all girls?" She looks away from him "no we're all very different. No one is like me and I'm not like them." She stops and takes a deep breath and continues "there used to be more of us...but the doctors- they- they killed them...and no, not all of them are girls" she spoke trembling "please don't let me go back there...they'll inject me with it-" then she broke down crying. They'll inject her?

Jungkook started to panic. The last time a girl cried in front of him was lucy..his first and last girlfriend. he took her on the ferriswheel and after they came down she puked and apparently she had a phobia of vomiting and then she started crying and kept crying until jungkook's brother came and drove them home. The very next day she broke up with him. said she was too embarrassed to be with him after what happened. Guess girls hate ferriswheel.

Z wasn't hysterically crying but she was crying nonetheless. He didn't know what to do. He felt so helpless. He awkwardly tapped her shoulder "I'm not going to take you back" 'not anytime soon at least' he thought to himself. "I'm sorry Z...don't cry please..." he cringed at his lack of manhandling the poor girl then an idea popped up in his head. She really liked the TV.  "let's go watch TV instead...is that alright?" He said cheerfully taking her by her hands.

She stopped crying. And followed him closely towards the living room. the sound of the doorbell made the both of them jump. Both of their hearts stopped. Her words were swirling like a tornado in his head.

'Titian, Titian, Titian he is the one who is ringing the doorbell.. he is here to take you' jungkook quickly snapped out of it and pushed Z aside. "I'll go check who it is and I'll be back yeah?" He reassured her then tiptoed towards the door he glanced from the peephole to see three figures outsides and from the way they stood he knew...

They were his dorky friends. Did he really forget that he texted them to come over as soon as he brought Z inside?

He let out a shaky breath of relief. He walked towards her "they're just my friends okay? I invited them" he tells her Turing back to open the door for them.

"What took you so long?! were you masturba-" yugyeom words were cut short and stopped dead in his tracks along with the other two stunned boys when their eyes landed on Z. Who stood like a deer caught in headlights in the living room when she saw them walk in. When umbrella's logo on her gown twinkled in the light. It was like as if they saw a banshee.

"fucking hell jungkook! she's one of umbrella's children!" Yeonjun shouts with a terrified expression.

_______________________________________________

/for those who don't know/

-Banshee is a female spirit whose wailing warns of a death in a house.

-Titan is an extremely large and powerful person.

(Search for resident evil mr X to get a clearer picture)

[fangirlxwritesx67]

Dancing Queen (Sam x Reader fluff)

For @awesomesusiebstuff . Hope you feel better soon hon! Sorry not sorry for 1000 words of fluffy crack

Today was a good day for spring cleaning. It wasn't often that you had a day off with the house to yourself in the middle of the week. When you did have such an unlikely occurrence, it wasn't usual that you would be motivated to clean. But today, you were. Maybe it was the rising spring weather giving you energy. Maybe it was the fact that you had one -okay, two- bloody marys for brunch at 1pm and now had a generally carefree and happy outlook on life. Maybe it was the soundtrack to Mamma Mia blasting through your record player, making you dance through your chores.

Whatever the reason, when the doorbell rang, you were actually almost disappointed to be pulled away. You were less disappointed when you opened the door to find two of the most beautiful men you had ever seen on your doorstep, dressed like- male strippers?! Both of them wore the unlikely combination of clerical collars and sleeveless shirts. Your mind instantly wandered to some of your favorite fantasies.

Both men were tall and handsome. The slightly less tall one (no one could call him short) was a classic American male pin-up, with a built body and chiseled face. The even taller one had a leaner build but was even more eye-catching. His oversized features and bright hazel eyes, topped with a mop of dark hair, made him almost beautiful.

"Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying it," you announced before they could get a word in. "And whatever religion you have, I don't want to join." Although that was not entirely true. If the taller, hotter one was taking confession... Your mind snapped back to the moment at hand.

"Oh, no," answered the less tall one with a sexy chuckle. "We're not selling anything. We're Dean and Sam, and we're Chippendales dancers. We just moved in- we are your new neighbors. "

He pouted his lips adorably. The taller one shook his head, tossing his dark hair, but a slow smile spread across his face. Dimples popped below his high cheekbones.

You heard the opening notes of "Super Trouper" start in the living room behind you. Whatever these adorable fools were up to, you didn't have time for it. You and your mop had a dance routine for this song.

"Sorry guys, I'm busy." The men nodded and turned to go. You closed the door, although not before letting your eyes linger on the view. Broad shoulders, narrow waists and nice butts, both of them- although you liked the taller one's lanky walk better.

Spring cleaning, at least for you, usually led to spring repainting. The next warm Saturday found you out front in your most ragged, paint-stained clothes, covering the front door in a coat of shiny dark green paint. You had the Mamma Mia soundtrack on again and were dancing a little while you worked.

You noticed but didn't really register movement on the sidewalk until one of your new neighbors strolled up. It was the taller one.

"Hi," he said simply, his hands tucked in his jean pockets in an easy gesture.

"Hi," you answered, "Sam or Dean, whichever one you are."

He grinned and pushed his floppy hair back from his face with one big hand.

"I'm Sam. Dean is my brother."

You looked at him skeptically.

"And you're male strippers, and that's how you decided to introduce yourself to your neighbors?"

Sam laughed, a laugh that started as almost a giggle and quickly turned to full body, gasping amusement.

"Wow," he said, "So sassy! Really, we're FBI agents but that was the field cover they sent us in with."

That story was as believable as the last one, and you just shook your head.

"Hey," said Sam. He took a step closer to you. A mischievous twinkle shone in his deep hazel eyes. "I could pass as a dancer. Look."

The unmistakable starting notes of "Dancing Queen" were drifting out your front door. Sam began to move his body in a rolling rythmn and lifted the hem of his thin grey t-shirt, flashing you a glimpse of tanned, toned abs. With a saucy glance, he pivoted on one heel to face away from you. He rocked from side to side, letting his hips and long legs carry him. His high, round ass gyrated enticingly, and you felt yourself flush. He was the best show you had seen in a long time!

You watched for far too long, enjoying his sexy movements too much to care who might see.

"That's enough!" You gasped finally, "Sam, or whoever you are. What do you want?!"

Sam turned towards you, an irresistible smile lighting his beautiful face. He had deep dimples under his high cheekbones. The sun lit up flecks of gold in his blue-green eyes.

"I saw you painting," he said. "It looked like you could use company."

You hesitated, unsure what ulterior motives your new neighbor may have.

"Look," said Sam after a moment, "It's simple. I can reach the high parts, and we can talk while we paint."

You and Sam spent the afternoon painting in the new and hopeful spring sun. You talked and laughed, and at some point as he reached for a high corner, his arm curled around your shoulder. You would never admit it, but you leaned into him just a bit. His body was warm and firm against yours.

More sounds of Mamma Mia played from inside the house.

"If you change your mind I'm the first in line

Honey I'm still free, Take a chance on me

If you need me let me know, Gonna be around..."

You turned to face Sam and saw that he was mouthing the words as he painted, his hips rocking along in time to the music. You threw your arms around his broad shoulders and ran your hands up through his long dark hair. He slipped strong arms around your waist and together, you danced.

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Hey Nancy: how's all the prep going? Rio: Oh my God Rio: it feels good to talk to someone over the age of 12, put it that way Rio: its getting there but I might not 🤪🥴😵 Nancy: same cos Buster's acting like a 5 year old rn Nancy: I wish I was there helping Rio: Travelling brings out the worst in 'em Rio: if I have to see an airport with mine this year, too soon 😬❌ Rio: we could use your 👀 Rio: I'm sure there will still be shit to do when you all get here Nancy: Did your dad convince your mum about a honeymoon though? Nancy: Asking cos I wanna steal you away for a while Nancy: When I get there I'm gonna have so many 📷 to set up and take but I'll definitely make time for any finishing touches there are Rio: 😘😘😘 Rio: s'more convincing nan and granddad that your parents and the rest will help out controlling the masses whilst they're off 🎔☽ Rio: a reason we can NEVER find a babysitter 🙄 Nancy: Oh come on! If my mum gets involved they'll be perfect 😇s Rio: 😂 Rio: I'd be happy to test the theory Rio: going to be so good to see you again! Nancy: Me too if it'd get her off my back 🙄 Nancy: I've missed you so much! Rio: Uh-oh, what's the latest crusade with her? Rio: Girl, same! So much catching up Nancy: Who can keep track? This week it's something about how I spend too much time in my room Nancy: Like doesn't she realise I don't sleep in a cell? I have everything I need Rio: Right? Rio: At least we're past grounding, was such a laughable punishment when its not the 50s or something, please Nancy: malted milkshakes and jukeboxes yes, the rest of the 50s, no Rio: But you'd look so fetching in a circle skirt 😉 Rio: what are you wearing though Rio: I've been so busy making sure the kids are actually clothed that I'm not remotely ready, ugh Nancy: Also less likely to be hatecrimed when it's just gals being pals 😉 Nancy: [a pic of her outfit cos we don't have one yet gang] Nancy: oh my god if you're not joking dad better start speeding! You really need my help ASAP Rio: Don't rub it in, or I'll be at the back of the bus heckling you Rio: me and all MY #sistas Rio: 😍 you look so good, I'll ignore your white feminism if you tell him to step on it Nancy: 😳 x 10000 like Nancy: But I'll demand it Rio: 🧡 Rio: Its a mood, catch me stealthing down the aisle at the back, please, steal the show, kids Nancy: 💚 Nancy: Honestly I feel nervous & I don't have to do the walk/nobody's gonna be looking at me Rio: Awh, don't be Rio: Honestly, everything is so extra, no one will know where to look Rio: you know them Nancy: I was safe to assume that Junie isn't answering me cos he's 😳 x 10000000 then, yeah? Rio: No doubt Rio: I can't even find him to tell him to reply Rio: if I spot him Nancy: It's fine I'll see him soon anyway Rio: God bless him Nancy: I need out of this car now & away from all of them Rio: I can feel the tension from here, babe Nancy: If he spends another sec on speaker talking to his friends about last night's party I will have to throw his phone out of the window Rio: Eww Rio: your brother is 1000% gonna be THAT businessman on the train that wants everyone to hear his convo Nancy: I know Rio: then pops a few blood vessels when someone tells him otherwise Rio: you poor thing, forreal Nancy: He got into a fight at the party over some girl 🙄 But of course the other lad was the only one hurt Nancy: How am I related to this idiot? Rio: How have your parents not turned the car around or at least threatened to Nancy: He doesn't wanna come which means he is, no matter what Nancy: Even if he was 🤕 Rio: Also do you live in Chelsea or a bad American teen drama Rio: the dramatics 😂 Nancy: Right? But it's me getting lectured by my mother regularly Nancy: your favouritism is showing again Rio: We all like you better, don't worry babe Nancy: thanks Nancy: if your parents wanna adopt me, now is good Rio: What's one more is pratically the family motto so why not Rio: you'll have to miss all the WILD parties and the even wilder bants Rio: reckon you'll survive? Nancy: just about Rio: Be honest Rio: if I go to town right now, what are the odds of the kids staying semi-presentable? Nancy: It'd be single figures Nancy: like 5% maybe Rio: Yeah Rio: but even less chance of me getting something wearable if I ask my boy to bring something with him, right? Nancy: Unless he's very fashion forward Nancy: You could tell him to go to ours and raid my wardrobe? Rio: Such a humblebrag, Nancy McKenna 😏 Nancy: If you don't want my advice or designer labels, don't ask, like Rio: 😂 Rio: how is it possible I have nothing suitable in my whole ass wardrobe Nancy: This family has had a surprisingly few weddings in our lifetime Nancy: & there's no chance of you re-purposing what you wore to my parents' big day all those years ago so Nancy: I'll make a detour and pick something up for you Nancy: if you trust me Rio: The amount of sin is truly unholy Rio: my grandma be 😠 at all these heathens Rio: and that feels like forever ago Rio: dread to think what I was rocking but at least I was cute Nancy: So 😢 I couldn't bring a date to meet your grandma she sounds lovely Nancy: [finds a pic of the baze wedding like] Nancy: you were the cutest! Look! Rio: Love the sinner, hate the sin, sweetie 😘 Rio: Oh lord Nancy: Says you but what happened to ME? Nancy: I'm like a different person rn and it's not a glow up Rio: Shh, you look beautiful, are you kidding Nancy: I look like my parents are into medieval torture & put me on a rack Nancy: not cute Rio: Oh 'cos being tall is so unappealing Rio: all those leggy supermodels, YUCK Nancy: 😂 Rio: Anyone saying different is obviously jealous Nancy: How very teen drama Nancy: the girl who hates me really loves me 💋 Rio: better start loudly talking about that Rio: your 'rents will be so proud Nancy: They aren't likely to hear me over Buster's dramatic playlist 🎶 Rio: Now you're just making shit up 😂 Nancy: [records him as proof hey boy hey looking like a moody fuckboy snack over there no doubt] Rio: He really did just look at the window like a music video, huh Rio: also praying you make it here unmurdered now, girl 🙏🤞 Nancy: He wouldn't dare start a fight with us in our finery 👗👠 mum & dad would kill him Nancy: or I could with the 👠 Rio: Gotta stay favourite, yeah Nancy: definitely Rio: catch me being no ones 'cos I'm not coming Rio: see you tomorrow, like 👋 Nancy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo Nancy: you have to Nancy: don't leave me with my evil twin Rio: 😩 but Rio: so over this before its begun Nancy: please Ri Nancy: I'll make it fun somehow Rio: There's no escape anyhow Rio: so many people here already just 👀 @ me Rio: I'm not putting on a fucking poofy dress I'm sorry Nancy: you don't have to Nancy: bridesmaid but keep it fashion Rio: I tried on some actual bridesmaid dresses but I felt so stupid Rio: why is it all floor-length and fucking Rio: the excess material Rio: I don't wanna drown in tulle, I'm not 5 Nancy: gross Nancy: I promise to never get married first of all Nancy: second of all I'm gonna make sure you look 🔥 today so Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: I've got to start on the drinks now though, sorry Nancy: show me what's in your wardrobe & I'll try & remember what's in mine Rio: I love you but you remember what I said about floor-length? Nancy: okay okay just yours then Nancy: come on, I can do this Rio: [does] Rio: but honestly, fuck it Nancy: there's so much I could make work Nancy: & no reason for us both to hate our outfits Rio: I won't hate it, I'll just be hated Rio: mainly by my grandma 💁 Nancy: as soon as Buster arrives his attitude will pull focus Nancy: plenty to keep your grandma busy in this car Rio: He'd never be that nice to me Rio: even unintentionally Nancy: I will then Nancy: thinking of a scene to cause as we speak Rio: 😏 Rio: such a shame there'll be no hot girls there you aren't related to 💔 Nancy: if only hitchhikers were still a thing Rio: So predatory for a 13 year old Rio: flip that script honey Nancy: it's the lesbian way Nancy: ask every girl at my school Rio: Ugh, turning their backs in the changing room is it? Rio: like half of 'em have got anything to hide, people are ridiculous Nancy: Yeah Rio: Its more than that then Nancy: It's not a story for today Rio: Later Rio: when you've caught up Nancy: when I've taken my make up off maybe Nancy: it took a really long time Rio: it looks 🔥 Nancy: it's not too much, right? You'd tell me Rio: Of course Rio: but it so isn't, its great Nancy: thanks Nancy: a benefit of doing it in February, our faces won't melt off & I'm not sunburnt Rio: They've thought of you at least Rio: love that Nancy: I'll try & remember to thank them too, like Rio: Thank whichever God made you gay too Rio: boys are such dicks Nancy: I got stuck with a brother so I'd still suffer Nancy: probably won't 🙏 Rio: Well you can ignore him Rio: sure you both prefer it that way Nancy: You can ignore any boys you want Nancy: or don't want Rio: Nah Rio: not when I'm this hard to ignore yeah Nancy: all the more reason Nancy: when you look like you look you can take your pick Rio: I already have, that's what I'm saying Nancy: & they're still dicks? Rio: He is Nancy: So dump him Nancy: there must be some boys in existence who aren't Rio: Eh Rio: None as cute Nancy: Gross Rio: Shut up 🙄 Nancy: if you wanna talk about boys you've come to the wrong place Rio: excuse me Rio: you've literally talked about your hitchhiker fantasy so you can deal with it Nancy: I don't have a fantasy I was trying to think of a diversion to horrify your grandma Rio: Sure Nancy: It's a shame Buster would never swap outfits with me Nancy: a move like that really would pull focus from what you're wearing Rio: I hate to break it to you but not really Rio: already got so many chicks in suits Rio: you know this is MY parents wedding, not yours Nancy: but how many boys in dresses do you have? Rio: I'll check Rio: my parents have weird friends, babe Rio: and have you met my siblings like Rio: your the normie branch of the fam, no amount of lesbian angst is changing that for you, I'm so sorry Nancy: at least they have friends, mine have co-dependence Nancy: and yeah, I'm trying to get adopted in, remember? Rio: 😍 romantic Rio: we'll swap Rio: I need the break Nancy: you and Buster would kill each other in seconds Nancy: but if you can survive long enough to end him I support it Rio: Duh Nancy: I've heard 'you should see the other guy' enough to be sure it's bullshit Nancy: you can take him Rio: I know Rio: trust me Nancy: he hasn't lost a 🥊 for ages it's way past due Rio: Weddings always end in a scrap Rio: may as well take it for the team honestly Nancy: fights & drunken displays happen whenever this family gets together Nancy: again, take your pick Rio: I'm not drunk but tah for the faith, babe Nancy: it's early still Rio: 😒 Nancy: they are all driving me to drink & I don't even Rio: Slainte Nancy: exactly Rio: Fuck it, I'm going town Nancy: do you have time? Rio: Sure Nancy: Then yeah go Rio: ✌ see you when you get here Nancy: I'll find you as soon as we show up Rio: Do Rio: I'll be the bombshell Nancy: I'll be the awkward ginger Nancy: 💚💋 Rio: 🧡💋