#but this album? quite literally the worst thing ive ever listened to

[biggreenstache7]

thoughts and feelings about the halloween specials?

not sure if this is like, thoughts on spooktacular as a concept as a whole (which i guess can be summed up as "used to be my favorite thing on the channel, slowly losing interest") or on all of them as a whole, so i'm just going to uhhhhhhhhh. yeah

Spooktacular i - obviously it's not amazing because it's the first one and in that sense also falters story-wise but like. dude it's so much better than anything else on the channel in 2016. it feels like during that one week break something clicked and the channel stopped being mid (the last few rips before title theme and ending were also p solid but the stuff before that. yeeeeeaaaahhhh) it was cool that that was woody's first main appearance. also the album art had no right being that good. otherwise its mostly ok yea that sure is the first one

Spooktacular ii - uhhh feature presentation is a little silly i like it but it's also. yeahhh. what was the deal with them putting woodman like that. and otherwise it was mostly just spooktacular 1..... 2

2018 skip because nothing happened. uh i guess the rips were good. same old

Spooktacular iii - Lol. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah this is one of my favorite things on the channel in general. I could talk about it for ages. It's so awesome and i think it will quite literally never be beat, atleast in terms of spooktaculars. the writing is a little stupid but it GETS GOOFY WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO STUPIDLY CHARMING!!!!!!!! IT'S A WHOLE EPISODE and the amount of time put into it is so clear. i love the original song with lyrics in it so much i ripped it. IT'S EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sure if it didn't exist i would probably be a different person. AND IT WILL NEVER BE BEAT. whatever. the rips are like the same as usual but that DAMN MURDER NOT TOO NICE! whatever. whatever. 4/10

Spooktacular iv - uhhh it was fine. i really wish they did more with the theming it felt kinda like missed potential but atleast the banner was AWESOME one of my favorite banners on the channel ever. shoutouts to this one for being like the only one that actually ends on halloween. also the moment the yankin takeover happened i pointed out this video and like asked if she was the like fallen angel or whatever mentioned in it BEFORE curse of the fallen angel was even announced. kind of badass of me. otherwise yeah kinda nothing

spooktacular v - it's fun! i liked cotfa, it didnt take itself very seriously but it was enjoyable to listen through. kinda an initial highlight to me of my main problems with siiva writing as a whole but the fact it was an audiostory worked in its favor and the dynamic between the 3 main characters was fun. halloween events need to stop lasting so long though like, the fuck do you mean this went on until november 13th?!?!?

spooktacular vi - it's fun i guess, but not much more than that. i liked the videos, they were goofy, david s pumpkins is a fun thing to have as the reocurring joke, but it was clearly not something that was given much thought and a result kinda blends in my head as "A spooktacular" i appreciate the mspaint videos existing though. but yeah it's. just "tradition" at this point

spooktacular vii - god i wish i actually cared at this point dude. it's not bad at all and i'm sure the music stuff is fun but lore has been gone for like, almost a year and now that it's back it's just. a little nothingburger? i have a lot of small complaints i could make about the story this year but i just can't really bother anymore. it's fine. this is all fine! i'm losing my capacity to care about this channel and it's all okay. takane is a nothing protagonist on her own. the writing is kinda subpar at worst and average at best. all of it feels completely like missed potential. nothing about it feels like, yknow, siivagunner. and i cant even be bothered to care anymore (i just skimmed through the last 2 videos). idk man. it's not "bad" in the slightest but a lot of aspects of it represent things and quirks about the writing on this channel ive never really cared about. i think maybe 5 years of being into something and having it never really do anything for you might be doing something to me to the point where i don't really care anymore. this just seems to be becoming a good excuse to let it go because it doesn't say much to me anymore.

sorry that ended on a bit of a downer note idk what to say now. yay! fun! spooky ooooooooooooooooooooooooo halloween boo

[hellokenmaz]

50 questions 

tagged by @ouryoonoh

What takes up too much of your time? tumblr to be honest 

What makes your day better? crying solves everything lmao its a cleanse 

What’s the best thing to happen to you today? I FOUND MY PRINTER PAPER THAT IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR EVERYWHERE IN MY HOUSE

What fictional place would you like to go to? hogwarts bro

Are you good at giving advice? depending on the situation lol

Do you have a mental illness? ADHD, depression & anxiety .

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? do PTSD dreams count? if so yeah 

What musician inspired you the most? idk britney is iconic tho

Have you ever fallen in love? yes disappointingly lmao 

What’s your dream date? watching studio ghibli films, cuddling and it raining outside. 

What do others notice about you? apparently im nice idk

What’s an annoying habit you have? i never shut the FUCK up 

Do you still talk to your first love? i’d rather get injured than talk to him lmao. so no

How many exes do you have? 1 

How many songs are in your playlist? i dont do playlists i just have 3000 sounds 

What instruments can you play? 3!!! clarinet, piano &  Guitar. 

What do you have the most pictures of? nct, Jaehyun & my god daughter. 

Where would you like to go before you die? japan seems lit 

What’s your Zodiac? Sagittarius 

Do you relate to it? yes i have every single one of the negative things about this sign lmao 

What is happiness to you? contempt within oneself and their life, happiness follows after those are found. 

Are you going through anything right now? uni. its hard sos. 

What’s the worst decision you ever made? cutting my fringe myself while crying 30 mins before a final exam in grade 12. 

What’s your favourite store? the local art store, the got some cool ass shit. 

What’s your opinion on abortion? every woman has the right to have access to have one on her own accord. 

Do you keep a bucket list? no lol 

Do you have a favourite album? literally any song joji has had anything to do with fuck me up joji 

What do you want for your birthday? moneyyyyyyy

What are most people’s first impressions of you? here is a quote from my friend amanda “opal, you’re unreadable. like you’re so quite and just come to class and then fuck off. you also look like you could stab someone if they deserved it.” 

What age do you seem according to most people? like fucking 13 

Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on the floor lol

What word to you say the most? “mate” “fuck” “ sovereignty”

What’s the oldest age you would date? cap it off at like 3 years older 

What’s the youngest age you would date? i have 5 younger brothers i literally refuse to date or look at any male younger, you are automatically put into the little brother zone. girls? like a year younger

What job/career do most people say would suit you? lawyer lol i’d hope so too 

What’s your favourite music genre? lofi type shit 

If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? idk?????? 

What is your current favourite song? slowing dancing in the dark - joji 

How long have you had this blog for? like barely 4 months since i started using it lol 

What are you excited for? finishing this semester 

Are you a better talker or listener?idk i cry to people a LOT but i also listen so both

What is the last productive thing you did? found my printing paper 

What do you want for Christmas? sleep 

What class do you get the best grades in? legal research, writing and analysis, also contract law, getting A’s in both. 

On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? like 7 maybe 

What can you see yourself doing in ten years? lawyer with enough money to have regular as the theme song of my life

When did you get your first heartbreak? 16 

What age do you want to get married? yuck commitment 

What career did you want to have as a child? police officer, lawyer thats it lmao 

What do you crave right now? sleep

ill tag @winwinprinceofchina @k-ultarchive @127-mile @yanggerm @marculees @strayakids @matcha--ten @shiningxuxi

[wildm00dswings]

end of year asks- that ill be answering myself cuz the ghost of david bowie told me to

what did you learn about yourself this year? that no matter how much progress i make in life i somehow wind up back in the same place i was in 2012; bored in my room silently suffering alone

best moment of the year? going to disneyland for the first time at the ripe age of 20

worst moment of the year? the abandonment phase of late june 2018,, that wasnt fun

what was the biggest change you experienced this year? moving. i dont like moving. it was somuch work. moved from the hometown to a city i hadn’t visited since 2008.

best song of the year? Softcore - The Neighbourhood. ive listened to it five million times, i hIGHly recommend it

best album of the year? VI - You Me At Six. “Fast Forward” was my favorite track, also highly recommend it

what’s one thing that happened this year that you want to change? how #depressed i was while in Los Angeles. i was living my best gotdam life going to disneyland and all of a sudden im crying in the bathroom of our hotel at 2 in the morning for n o r e a s o n. i feel like a sad corpse every day of the year it had NO RIGHT to show up that week. there were somany amazin moments i couldnt enjoy bcus of it. i know i have no control over the mental disorder but i still believe i had the ability to replace it with serotonin instead

best book/book series of the year? i havent touched a book since 2005

best television series? CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. greatest show ive ever seen holy heck im so glad i discovered it this year.

how was your love life this year? non-existant. i talked to three guys who ended up ghosting me in less than a week that was fun.

what made you cry the most this year? the depression i shouldve never befriended six years ago

biggest regret of the year? the surprise depression while in LA. not being sympathetic enough was also a big thing but thats p much every year

best movie of the year? i literally only watched one movie in 2018 and that was Indredibles 2

favourite place you travelled this year? Los Angeles (to be fair its the only place i traveled to at all this year, i rlly need to travel more)

did you make any new friends? i almost did back in october but for no gotdam reason i completely ghosted them and it still haunts me to this day. they were so fun to talk to why did i stop replying why do i s u cK somuch

did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?  im still quite bi

what are some hobbies that you developed? paying more bills?? idont kno W

what surprised you the most this year? how boring my 21st birthday was. i literally did nothing. didnt drink, didnt get a cake. just got a “o hey ur 21 now neat” and thats it. why tf was i looking forward to this age so much as a kid literally nothing happened.

do you look different from the beginning of the year? not even a little bit. im still waiting to evolve into some bomb ass mcdonalds french fries. till then im still a dirt covered potato.

how did this year treat you in general? more lows than highs tbh. im still a dying corpse, but a corpse that went to disneyland .. . !!

what message would you give yourself at the beginning of the year? “you got a sh*t storm coming u thought 2017 was a struggle holy fnck prepare for world war III family fights and some real suicidal thoughts″

has your fashion style changed this year? nope. still living in band tees black jeans and converse... .. i just realized how yikes that is im in my flipping 20s now and i still dress like a high schooler who listens to green day’s american idiot on repeat wtf do adults where? ??

one of the best meals you’ve had this year? Denny’s Grand Slam meal. idk why but it was all i ever wanted to eat while in los angeles.

who has made the biggest impact in your life this year? probably the peeps that fncked me over

what’s one thing that you hope will continue next year? my trips to los angeles. even tho i had to learn the hard truth that ur depression doesnt just fnck off while ur on vacation, getting on a plane and visiting the city is so amazing cant believe i only live five hours away from it i cant wait to go back next year. @silentcypress take this fun little 2018 summary questionnaire i tagged u in it so u have to

[drpepperphd]

AYASES TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2017

OH MAN WHAT A GOOD YEAR FOR MUSIC ! ! ! ! ! AND GAMES ! ! ! ! ! ! yknow what ! ! ! this was just a good year ! ! ! fuck what u all say ! ! ! anyways heres the list and under the cut ill talk about the album and have some Honourable Mentions ! LETS GO ! !

10: A Crow Looked At Me by Mount Eerie

9: Concrete Desert by The Bug vs. Earth

8: Time Away by Casey Lalonde

7: Savage Sinusoid by Igorrr

6: Outer Edges Remixes by Noisia

5: Someone Elses Story by CXDR

4: It Happens Too Briefly To Know by Jr. Adelberg

3: Romaplasm by Baths

2: World Eater by Blanck Mass

1: II by Phuture Doom

wow ! ! okay so lets talk about feelings bitch

A Crow Looked At Me; so like fuck thats a sad album huh ? its straight up just grieving But With Guitar. im a massive fan of mount eerie and like literally everything phil elverum ever does, so its unsurprising this made the cut in the end, but this is one of those albums where once its over youre just left there, probably crying, just like “well shit now what to do i do with my life”

Concrete Desert; years back the bug and earth did a 2 song split that to this day i still absolutely adore, so as soon as i heard they were making a full length album together, i kinda flipped my shit ! ! and it lived up to all my expectations, and then some ! the album perfectly captures both the gritty and noisy and cold and empty sounds that both the bug and earth make separately, and just mashes it into this beautiful and dark album

Time Away; so idk if anyone knows but i am a HUGE casey lalonde fan, their music has meant a lot to me and helped me through a lot, so its only fitting they drop an album this year and its beautiful as hell ! ! from start to finish, time away took me through a bunch of feelings, all relevant to this year, doing what casey lalonde does best and making an incredibly enjoyable and comfy album yet again

Savage Sinusoid; i mean shit igorrr sure as hell exists huh ! ! suddenly savage sinusoid is released and its god damn chaotic as hell, and really focuses more on the... lets say Guttural side of igorrrs music. i mean all good albums should start with a dude screaming his lungs out honestly

Outer Edges Remixes; so the first time i listened to the outer edges remixes i was in public, but that did not stop me from boppin my head and all that shit cause literally every song on this album goes the fuck OFF ! ! ! like i honestly cant say anything else its just incredible remixes of older noisia songs with their incredible style of their album Outer Edges

Someone Elses Story; oh my goodness here onwards things are probably gonna get lengthy and emotional ! ! so i absolutely Love every piece of music avery releases, her music has comforted and helped me for years, and i still remember the first time i heard her music with the album Lost No Longer, which to this day continues to be my Comfort Album. now this album carries that weight twofold, as this album is about the past 3 years for avery, which coincidentally is for how long her music has been helping me. now ngl, i definitely cried listening to this album, every song just hit a different part of me, and you can feel each emotion that shes experience over the past 3 years in just 9 songs. a beautiful way to wrap up her alias as cxdr, and come out publicly under the name avery, and i cant wait to see where her music goes next.

It Happens Too Briefly To Know; i honestly did not expect to come to love this album as much as i do now ! on the surface its good indie rock, not anything new but not too familiar either, playing with the genre with interesting changes in the pace of songs. changing the pace during songs more often than not. it felt simple enough, but slowly over time i just kept coming back to this album, listening to it over and over again, and ive really come to appreciate every minute detail of this album, not to mention the feeling of youth it seems to so expertly capture

Romaplasm; oh my god, oh my GOD. alright so i really love baths, and this is undeniably his best release yet, it nearly placed second on this list, but i think world eater just BARELY tops it, for entirely different reasons though. hearing such openly gay songs from a big artist is... incredibly refreshing to say the least, even if they can be incredibly depressing, with lyrics such as “queer in a way thats failed me”. this album goes on such an incredible journey through everything baths does so well, starting to bright and happy and reaching an incredibly depressing song only 2 songs later, which jumps right into an incredibly uplifting and headstrong track, basically continuing in weird patterns like this but somehow flowing really well, until it does what i loved about his album obsidian. what i loved about obsidian is how it progressively got darker and grittier, to the point where the final track had some distortion in it. this takes it to an entirely different level, by going in an entirely different way. this is done in the last 3 tracks, so from wilt to coitus the album grows softer, almost like its dying (not a hard conclusion to reach with such track names) to a point in coitus where it even fizzles out for lack of a better word. and as coitus ends, in comes broadback, an oddly happy sounding song, especially in contrast to the last few tracks. the lyrics on the other hand, definitely not so happy, but vaguely hopeful. then baths does something that he hasnt done in his music before. he screams. and he just screams “dont want you to die” over and over until the end of the song. words cannot explain what this album does to me, but good god it sure as shit does it

World Eater; with each release blanck mass has done, hes gotten progressively more Intense. his first album was just an ambient album, his second release was grittier, it actually had beats, and now theres world eater. when rhesus negative kicked in on my first time listening to world eater, i fucking lost it. its such an angry and intense and fast song, and it goes the fuck off. the album goes in and out of angry songs and softer songs, in such an entrancing way that even the worst track on the album is still amazing and something id just listen to on its own. id like to mention literally every track on the album and talk about it but that would just take up way too much time, but i do want to just say the rat and silent treatment are fucking incredible songs that are like nothing ive ever heard and everything about this album just fucking RULES

II; ever since this album dropped in march, it has been my album of the year, nothing swaying that opinion any other way. i god damn love phuture doom, and the whole arg and everything about the lead up to this album was god damn amazing, and when it was all finally uncovered and we all listened to it for the first time, it blew our fucking minds. II takes what everyone loved about phuture dooms first album and ramps it up to 10, making the darkest and angriest and grittiest black acid cult shit imaginable. one song after the other, each proceeding to just impress and enthrall me more and more, and then you get the 4 minute ambient (and frankly kinda scary) ending, and honestly i needed to lay down after hearing II for the first time. the story and mystery of phuture doom deepens further, and quite frankly i worship  my new overlord Entity0, whatever the fuck that even is

honourable mentions time ! ! ! !

Death Peak by Clark; wow ! new clark album ! fuck its cool as hell ! god damn ive listened to this album too much ! !

Humanz by Gorillaz; yeah so what if you dont think its their best album ! its still a damn good album !

Utopia by Bjork; UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ALBUM

Human Goings by Neil Bones; FUCK ME EVEN NEIL BONES RELEASED A NEW ALBUM ITS ALL HAPPENING THIS YEAR AAAAAAAA

Rainbow Mirror by Prurient; hey what the fuck new prurient ? Oh Hey Its Three Hours Long. combines his work under vatican shadow and prurient really well ! ! ! !

The Journey Man by Goldie; what the fuck goldie released a new album and its actually GOOD ? ? ? oh it goes for 2 hours huh. Fuckin Okay Mate

Evolution Of The Universe by Medium; my god what a fucking intense and angry dnb album good shit

WELL I GUESS THATS ALL FOLKS ! ! ! ! ! ! ! yeehaw and have a Happy New Cheers

[britneyshakespeare]

4, 14, 41, 94

4. do you like your name? why?

Sorta. I’ve always felt it sounded like it should belong to someone more feminine and elegant and graceful and I’m not really any of those things… in a conventional sense, at least. I do think of myself as feminine in perhaps my own way, because I’m waaay outta my “I’m not like other girls” phase but at the same time like. I still never felt like I was like other girls, you know? But I think of my identity as a woman, in this part of my life, to be about redefining femininity as I see fit and as I feel it suits me. A lot of my interests like poetry and history and the arts are classically more dominated by men but in the 21st century more thought of as sensitive and in some way aligned with being girlish. And. I could go on about that actually. My name. Yes. My name. I do like having a feminine name even if I do feel it doesn’t quite fit me. Although I do detest being asked “after the princess?” because no self-respecting Irish Catholic names their kid after a Protestant monarch especially a British one asldigjlag. Even if Princess Di was a relatively harmless figure no no no no we don’t do that at all.

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

Anywhere bustling with life, really. I don’t have preferences when it comes to climate or country. I’d just like to live in a busy-ish city where I can walk wherever I need to be and even if I feel lonely, I’m never actually alone in a literal sense. I’m prone to self-imposed isolation and not really connecting to people, so in order to avoid becoming a total hermit, I just gotta be near people, man. Leave my damn house and face my fears and talk to a human even if I’m just asking where the change rooms are in a JC Penney.

41. top 10 favorite songs

hmm… consider these 10 unsolicited song recs for anybody who scrolls by this post and doesn’t know absolutely all of them. and they’re in no particular order other than the moment they came to mind.

Dancing Days by Led Zeppelin

Rain by the Beatles

Fragments by Blondie

The Meeting Place by the Last Shadow Puppets

City of Quartz by Marianne Faithfull

Ghost Dance by Patti Smith

Jerusalem by Sinead O’Connor

Different People by No Doubt

You Take My Breath Away by Queen

Visions of Johanna by Bob Dylan

94. favorite lyrics right now

Lately I’ve been relistening (?? does it count if i never really stopped listening? who knows but ive known them for a long time and i recently remembered how much i love them) to a lot of Arctic Monkeys/TLSP/the Submarine (2010) soundtrack and man… I just really love that Alex Turner. I really do. I love his voice and I love his wit and his personality and charm. Lately, especially, Suck It and See, because I’ve never quite appreciated that album as much as the others. I started listening to AM when I was 13 and comin outta a major pop-punk phase so they’re early post-punk stuff was my favorite by far, even though SIAS was at that time their most recent release. I still consider that to be my favorite leg of their career, even though I LOVE Humbug the most of all their albums now (for a while it was Favourite Worst Nightmare). I don’t know. SIAS has just… I’ve always overlooked it. The first two albums were their most fun and most punk, and AM was shiny and new and really gave them a second peak when that album dropped, it was crazy. And I came round to properly appreciate Humbug and now finally SIAS. So… Piledriver Waltz. All of Piledriver Waltz. The lyrics, especially in the chorus, just flow so naturally with the music as Turner sings them. It’s such a brilliant glimpse of his psyche. He has such an intriguing lyrical style, especially as he’s gotten older. The “you look like you’ve been for breakfast” introduction to the refrain is just… one of my favorite run-on sentences ever written. And by the time it wraps up with “If you’re gonna try and walk on water, make sure you wear your comfortable shoes” is just so quintessentially Alex Turner, especially as he developed in the late 00s-early 10s. I just find his mind so fascinating. Had anyone else written that song I’d find it a damn good piece of poetry, but in the context of his entire lyrical output since he was just a kid outta high school, I really appreciate that turn his writing style took on the first Monkeys hiatus. And I admire the way that even when AM goes away for awhile Alex always keeps writing and stretching himself to his limits creatively, it’s like he needs to be doing something innovative to keep breathing. And I just love that. I love Alex Turner, man. I love Alex Turner deeply.

send me unusual asks

[herbalzee]

Get to know me tag!!!

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag

   1. headphones (always!)    2. at least 50 hair ties    3. a full bottle of perfume    4. free pens from like everywhere    5. lots of tissues lmao

Five Things In My Bedroom:

a fish tank! i love my lil fishies

shoe cabinet

a Moriarty (from Sherlock BBC) calendar of him saying “Miss me?”. I love it

a small yellow chair!  

a color-coordinated bookshelf!!!

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:

learn sign language!

travel all over europe

write my own book

become a therapist

have kids!! and pets!!!

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

hanging with friends!!

listening to music, podcasts and ASMR

watching movies

doing artistic things?? idek what that means but like i love going to operas and theaters and taking aesthetic pictures and being creative, shit like that

talking, ranting, expressing my opinions comfortably, theorizing, brainstorming

Five Things On My To-Do List:

read books

hang with friends

write short stories- or write in general lmao

travel!!!

prepare for uni... i need to seriously do that

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

i am passionate about psychology

i had an obsession with piercings and tattoos when i was younger

i had the yellow belt in karate when i was in practice

im very old school about silly things yet quite liberal about the serious stuff

im basically in love with malmo, sweden

Name?: zaina

Nicknames?: zee

Zodiac?: sagittarius

Sexual Orientation?: straight

Ethnicity?: middle eastern/ north african

Favorite Fruit?: mango!!!!

Favorite Season?: winter

Favorite Flower?: after a quick flower research, i found the soft pink spray roses and the blue hydrangea the most appealing to me

Favorite Scent?: vanilla! cocoa! banana-scented stuff (or generally fruit-scented stuff). old books!!! 

Favorite Animal?: bees!! or just any domesticated animals honestly (that can be kept at homes or farms)

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: tea

Cat or dog?: dogs

Dream Trip?: a boat travelling all around western europe!!!

Number of Followers?: i dont really care about this stuff

What do I post about?: any posts containing message worth-spreading, funny content or aesthetically-pleasing stuff..

Do I get asks on a regular basis?: nope! so famous that i had to close my ask box 

Favorite Band?: twentyone pilots, little mix, imagine dragons, coldplay, hey violet, abba (almost forgot them omg)

Aesthetic?: cinematography, animals and nature, books and libraries, literally anything vintage, multicultures, feminism and femininity. i cant think of other stuff but im majorly into art

Fictional Character I’d Date?: john bender from the breakfast club!!!!

Hogwarts House?: ravenclaw

Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close at my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

Relationship status: single

Favorite color: purple, blue, green

Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick!!

Last song I listened to: hard times by paramore

Last movie I watched: The Boss Baby

Top three TV shows:

(btw these three tv shows are the only shows ive ever watched and actually finished lmao)

BBC Sherlock

Clique

Yuri! on ice

Top three characters:

These are the ones that came to mind first, not top favorites

Sherlock (Sherlock BBC)

Todd Anderson (Dead poets society)

Savannah Karlsen (Girl, interrupted)

rules: copy/paste and replace my answers with yours and tag people :^)

a - age: 17 
b - biggest fear: my actual biggest fear is too personal so im gonna say my second biggest fear: not achieving anything valuable in my life  
c - current time: 3 am lmao 
d - drink you last had: a peach detox lmao 
e - every day starts with: checking phone  f - favorite song: of all time or currently? ive never had an all time favorite but right now my favorite song is hard times by paramore (mainly the chorus bc its awesome) 
g - ghosts, are they real: only the ones in our heads 
h - hometown: a.d. 
i - in love with: psychology 
j - jealous of: productive people 
k - killed someone: ... 
l - last time you cried: literally yesterday..  m - middle name: dont have one  
n - number of siblings: eins (one) 
o - one wish: to be satisfied with who i am and what i have p - person you last called/texted: im talking to my friend on the phone right now as im doing this.. shes the one who so kindly guided me to these fun questions q - questions you’re always asked: “why are you so quiet?” “what major are you getting into and at which university?”  
r - reasons to smile: youre very much well and alive!!

s - song last sang: i was having a fetus 1d songs marathon at like 2 am the other day so... definitely the entire up all night album

t - time you woke up: these days.. 12 pm, bc im tired and its my holiday 
u - underwear color: ohhhh boi v - vacation destination: anywhere cold filled with warm people 
w - worst habit: procrastination 
x - x-rays you’ve had: the most recent one i remember is a chest x ray y - your favorite food: pasta 
z - zodiac sign: sagittarius

post a screenshot of my lock screen, home screen, and last song played

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.

I choose:

bbc sherlock

clique

yuri! on ice

The first character you loved:

ohhh, first was sherlock! then john almost 0.001 secs later

im pretty sure it was elizabeth. shes the cutest and i relate to her the most

probably Minako Okukawa, because shes so charming and funny

The character you never expected to love so much:

mrs hudson!!!!

louise!!! shes so smart and gorgeous and the least involved in the drama

yurio!!! i used to dislike him lmao but now hes my son

The character you relate to most:

molly hooper

like i said above, elizabeth!

ohh definitely yuri

The character you’d slap

john because sherlock suffered sooo much for him and opened his heart only to be abandoned because john is a naive idiot who still cant tell sherlock’s NOT a sociopath

SO MANY bc almost all of them did shitty things.. but the ones id slap right on sight are Alistair and the Steiner dude

ohmygod no, theyre all pure!! probably yurio bc that kid needs to love himself (but id immediately hug him right after)

Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference):

sherlock & john (one answer), mrs hudson, WIGGINS

holly, rachel, and fay (elizabeth and jude too)

the obvious trio: yuri, victor and yurio

A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:

mary lmao

alistair. i was a little suspicious of him but i liked him at the beginning bc he was cute and innocent. i HATE him now obviously

i love them all.. theres not a single one i dislike

A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:

ahahah mycroft

 uh georgia

christopher and JJ (but now i love them both so much)

[morningpages-louise]

November 01 - Setting intentions for November, looking back at 2018 so far, and Reminders and affirmations of life.

it's fucking november. what the fuck. this month, no this year, it went by so fast. i literally say that every year tho. we all do. why is that? the worst part is, most of us, including me, go by it without being mindful. without appreciating the things happening before us. we just kind of let these moments slide right through us. we forget to be mindful. we forget to take a breath, look around and appreciate. appreciate all that we have. appreciate this moment right here which will never ever be replicated. instead, we thinkin about what's lacking. we think about what could make these moments better. we bring in negativity into an otherwise perfect moment. it's annoying as hell but we all do it, we do it unconsciously. this negativity should not and will not rule over our lives. that's why this November, I VOW TO BE MORE MINDFUL--take deeper breathes. take things slower. not overthink every single fucking situation and just allowing each moment to pass. i really want to spend less time infront of my screen too. engaging in mindless social media which is so damn bad i dont know why im sucked into it so much :( but yeah. i just want to go back to the basics. slow down. appreciate. and cherish these last 2 months that I have left. because i will never have these months left. appreciate and take into grattitude.

i would also really like to just look at this year that went by because it's almost coming to a close. 2 months. you know what i find myself being so busy but I must never forget who i am and who my values are and what i value and why i took up all these opportunities in the first place -- for growth, to develop myself, to step out of my comfort zone and become more of the person who i am bound to be, whoever that is. sometimes i really feel like im being sucked in the system. it's like i forget the reason why i decided to do this work in the first place. and it's so damn important to never lose that. never lose that meaning and that reason and that drive that pushed us to try this new thing out in the first place. so damn important. huhu i feel like im on my flow. i love it when these moments come. work starts to be on autodrive and my mind is clearer, and i feel more motivated to work and all. but yes, it's november 2 now. i started writing this november 1.  I feel like when i started this term, i had a grip on my life. i had so much free time. i had a routine set in motion, but then it felt at times like i was just doing certain things for that tick on my planner, which is one of the reasons i stopped using my green bulletjournal. and i was just setting myself up to do so many things -- listen to the news, meditate, write, yoga, and all that stuff and the reality is, as simple as these tasks may be, i just didn't have the time to do most of the stuff and i wanted to do it out of impulse and not out of force, although i do know that that force is what makes certain tasks habits but you get what i mean. so yeah ive completely gotten rid of that way of living. now, it's just me and a black empty canvas and i kind of just choose how i go about my day. the things i want to do more of are

--> Find more time to Read. god, it's been so hard to slip in a quick 30 minutes or even a goddamn chapter :( i get so anxious man gud. so even if i do find a little hole for me to do what i love doing so much, i get an anxious feeling in the back of my mind which is annoying as hell.

--> Indulge in creative projects. no, not write for the sake of my damn internship and shit but create projects that give me joy. i feel like its so important to find time to do these things because being creative is a sort of portal to your soul. it taps into your consciousness and what interests you, what aspects fascinate you and all that stuff. for me, i'd really love to create more personal videos about important moments in my life. i've only done one video about my birthday but it felt so damn great to be honest. the next one i would like to do would be a video about my unit because that unit i hold so close to my heart man. so many memories. so many moments. so many people whove spent a certain amount of time at one point of their lives. im really obsessed with memories. i love saving them. i love keeping them and organizing them so i can look through them from time to time. yup i guess im floating. that's the song im listening to now. it's awesome. it feels like im stuck in a particular moment. held within time. that kind of stuff. god writing feels so good. it gives me a fucking high. makes me tap into my consciousness and check in on how im feeling. okay anyways getting a bit off track.

--> spend more time appreciating things and being in the moment rather than on social media. cmon guys, it's practically the last 60 days of 2018 and im gonna spend it attached to my goddamn phone? nuh-uh. the time for living should be now. the time for being aware and savoring every little moments and creating memories and cherishing them and just taking moments to feel goddamn alive you know. make this year worth something.

but honestly, it's hard to really look back at this year and see the growth that has transcended over the course of the few months. it's hard to look back because im living in it right now and i don't know. right now, it doesn't really feel like much has changed. it doesn't really feel like ive grown. or ive changed or ive bloomed which was literally this year's motto dba. that's why my peg for the whole year was a sunflower, inspired by tylor the creator's album sunflowers or whatever it was called. i still feel the same. i have felt like im the same person for so long to be honest. it never really feels like ive changed, but i bet i have. i just fail to see it. but honestly in terms of headspace, i can honestly say that i feel like im in a better place. im more at peace with certain aspects of my thoughts. ofcourse, i don't think we can ever really be fully at peace with ourselves, but in some way i feel like ive mended certain parts. i'm not in so much pain anymore. when i started the year, i had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost three years. ofcourse i still think about him every now and then, how can you not honestly especially when you spend so much time with a person like that, and it does still pain me when he chats with me to ask something or when i see him because i get a little hope extinguished in me of us getting back together even though i know in the end, despite everything, that we're better off apart. we're better off not together. because it was getting so bad. there was no fire. there was nothing. i felt like i was just forcing myself at times to like him. i didnt even look forward to seeing him whenever i came back from Manila, and that's not a good sign at all. so yeah, i know the most annoying advice ever is when people say time heals. it's so frustrating because you can't really do anyhing but let time heal you and well, it's true. it sucks but its so true. in time, you will just hurt less. there will be a time when his name comes up and it doesn't hurt so much or your thoughts don't start jumping up into nostalgic memories of the both of you. strangers again. it sucks but its the reality, i guess. i knw we shouldn't be together. we weren't a good match no matter how much nstalgia tells you otherwise. but i really really really hope to become good friends with him atleast. not be so fucking scared whenever im about to see him. not feel like i have to drink a whole fucking liter of beer before i see him. because in all honestly, he was such a good friend. so caring and so kind and he always tried to make a positive situation out of something so negative. his optimism sometimes annoyed the shit out of me especially when we were together because it's not as easy to just say like oh don't think about it like that. life is so much more complicated than that. its' a lot more complex. hay i really miss talking to him. he was such a good person to just let everything out to. i miss that the most. but it's okay. i have this morning thoughts now dba? to let everything out and just dump my thoughts and whats been circulating nonstop in my mind. cge anyways, what else. i feel healed. i feel like my headspace is better. well--i also feel like ive gotten better with regards to my connections. i love how this year, ive added new people to my circle. my favorite part. i love how this year has opened me to meeting more people. it has also let me become closer to my existing relationships. made it stronger and that makes me so happy. probably the most important thing i learned this year was the importance of connections, and that no man is an island. no matter how introverted we may be, we can't survive without having connected with other people. i really just want to have more of those throughout my life--genuine connections. where i can be myself and they can be themselves. and where we actually enjoy each others companies. not lackluster, shallow relationships that never seem to go beyond a certain level you know. i want deep, loving, intimate connections. i wish to find a tribe of people where i feel supported and everything. my life goal. but yeah im happy ive opened myself up to meeting new people. probably the biggest development of this year is well the fact that i now have an internship-say what? and or a company ive been following for quite some time nonetheless, mad travel. this whole year i feel like ive been trying to get a job and now i finally have found the time to do so and it makes me happy :) atleast. i know i am capable of gainig jobs and putting myself out there. i feel more confident applying for my jobs and my resue is looking fine. and although my internship is actually sort of a source of stress and anxiety these days, i shouldnt take it so goddamn seriously because in 2-3 years i will just look back at these moments and it wont even matter. what mattered is i did my best. i shouldnt take my work so seriously gyud. that's why i hate turning down friends or turning down invitations for my fucking work because in the end we all fucking die. in the end whatever titles we may have at the moment wont even fucking matter you know. we all die in the end so just live unapologetically and bear yourself to the world. that's so damn difficult and i feel like we take life so damn seriously. we really need to loosen up and have fun and not overthink every single fucking thing. why are we all so damn anxious? it makes me so angry like goddamn get it together. we have lost the true essence and meaning of our lives. we have forgotten why we are here in the first place. to love. to feel. to experience. to learn and most of all, to enjoy. okay that's my ted talk. goodbye and sayonarra.

[austinattack]

do all the questions

is this a fuckin joke? under the cut, damn. 

1.How many concerts have you been to?

i can not count, if you’re really interested in who exactly ive seen i have a page on my tumblr called shows

2. Have you been to any festivals? 

warped tour is the only actual festival cuz fuck that and fuck warped tour lol

3. Which artist/band have you seen the most live? 

i’ve seen Silverstein 11 times :’)

4. First concert you went to? 

Hilary Fucking Duff

5. Last concert you went to?

As It Is in NYC

6. What is your next concert?

Good Charlotte on the 18th!

7. Which artists/bands would you love to see live? 

harry styles. that bitch. 

8. The farthest you’ve traveled to go to a concert? 

buffalo. 5 hours. fuck one direction.

9. Best opening act you’ve seen? 

lmao idk.

10. Worst opening act you’ve seen? 

idk dude.

11. Have you met any bands/artists at a concert? 

yeah, quite a few. 

12. What’s one thing you have to bring to a concert? 

ID usually?

13. What’s the most you’ve paid for a ticket? 

100+ for stupid ass one direction

14. Best concert you’ve been to? 

shit man. idk. this is hard??? i literally don’t have one???

15.Worst concert you’ve been to? 

the first time i saw brand new in like, 2009 or 2010. it was just mega disappointing. but then the times i saw them last year were amazing so.

16. Have you been in a social media post an artist posted after a show? 

a silverstein snapchat

17.Funniest concert memory? 

punching being as an oceans singer in the jaw on accident?

18. Do you buy your tickets as soon as they go on sale, after, or the day of? 

usually right when they’re on sale.

19. Have you ever been noticed by an artist at a concert? 

i mean there’s the “omg they’re totally looking at me” thing?

20. Have you met any internet friends at a concert? 

no :(

21. Which concert that you’ve been to has had the best stage setup/production?

a day to remember a few years back.

22. Have you ever caught a guitar pick, drumstick, got a setlist, etc.?

i’ve gotten set lists before.

23. Favorite concert venue? 

hmmmm. i really liked the filmore in philly, and the electric factory in philly. u go philly.

24. Least favorite concert venue?

idk, big places.

25. Which do you prefer: indoor or outdoor concerts? 

indoor.

26. Which do you prefer: clubs, theaters, arenas, or stadiums? 

clubs.

27. Have you ever missed school or work to go to a concert? 

usually if i take time off work it’s for a show, so.

28. Have you ever been surprised with tickets from someone? 

hilary duff in 2005 thanks mom

29. Who do you enjoy going to concerts with? 

i like going with my friend george the best. 

30. General admission or seated concerts?

general admission. i hate seats SO much.

31. Have you been to multiple dates for one tour? 

no. 

32. Have you been to concerts 2 or more days in a row?

yeah! lmao in like 2007 or something i saw paramore on a tuesday and panic at the disco the next day or something. it was wild.

33. Have you ever received free tickets from a contest or an artist’s crew?

i’ve gotten in free to a silverstein show because i wrote an article about it.

34. Have you been front row and/or back row for a concert? 

i don’t really try to get to the front anymore. i like to dance too much and when you’re so far up you usually can’t move around.

35. Have you ever gotten sick, bruised, or broken a bone after a concert?

well, i got sick ON at a show. girl threw up her taco bell all over me. i sliced my knees up at warped tour during the first fuckin band of the day. i’ve been bruised billions of times lol. i also got a black eye once.

36. Have you ever had surprise guests at a concert you attended? 

we the kings played an all time low show by surprise once, 

37. Did you start listening to an opening act after you saw them in concert? 

at taste of chaos (i think) is the first time i heard blessthefall and they were the first band and i loved them so.

38. What’s the latest you’ve got home from a concert? 

idfk??

39. When is the earliest you’ve arrived to a venue for a concert?

we got to an all time low show like, two hours early once and i hated it because it was snowing and freezing but my friend brought stuffed fuckin shells so we ate real good.

40. Have you seen your favorite artist in concert? 

i’ve been lucky enough to see all of my favorite bands live

41. Longest you’ve waited in line for a concert? 

see above. two hours.

42. Have you ever attended a concert alone? 

often. usually. 

43. What’s the best part of a concert in your opinion? 

my favorite thing is when the singer stops singing and the crowd sings all of it UGH.

44. Have you ever heard/seen an artist soundcheck before their show? 

nah.

45. What’s the biggest venue you’ve been to a concert at? 

roger wilson stadium for one direction.

46. What’s the smallest venue you’ve been to a concert at? 

the loft in poughkeepsi. 

47. Have you ever had side stage seats? 

nah. not my thing.

48. Which venue have you been to the most concerts at? 

upstate concert hall (northern lights) in clifton park

49. Do you post a lot about a concert you’ve attended on social media or very little? 

i usually post that im there…and maybe a detail after.

50. Has a concert or tour you were planning on going to got cancelled? 

i actually don’t think so? thank you Jesus.

51. Have you seen a band in concert before a member left the band / they broke up? 

i saw avenged sevenfold with the the Rev.

52. Favorite song you’ve heard live? 

all of them. idk.

53. Have you ever seen an artist/band play an album in full?

Brand New played the devil and god, and Enter Shikari played take to the skies.

54. Which artist would you refuse to see in concert? 

idk? bands i don’t like? lol.

55. What’s the craziest thing a fan has done at a concert you’ve been to? 

idk. i could tell you about the one direction show but all that crazy happened before the show.

56. Which venue(s) would you love to go to for a concert? 

it would be neat to go to msg. 

57. Have you ever been to a concert at a venue that no longer exists? 

im not sure.

58. Have you ever lost something/got something stolen at a concert?

i lost socks the first time i saw brand new. my socks fucking came off and i lost them. 

59. Have people made fun of you or laughed because of how you were acting at a concert? 

no. lemme fight ya.

60. Have you ever been kicked out of a concert? 

no.

61. Has an artist thrown or spit water on you? 

yeah, stop.

62. Have you ever seen a security guard dance to a song at a concert? 

yeah.

63. Have you seen any acts you don’t like at a concert? 

sure.

64. Have you ever passed out or thrown up at a concert? 

nah. take care of yourself, kids!!!!

65. Have you seen any artists in concerts that you don’t like anymore?

probably.