#but we almost always see mixon out

[cementcornfield]

https://www.mdjonline.com/fieldlevel/nfl-cincinnati-bengals-at-arizona-cardinals/image_4e0e0913-8677-52b6-a8dd-172c044f52d6.html

looks like they made up! 🤗

aww that's good to see <3 i'm sure it was very much a heat of the moment frustration thing.

[writingwithciara]

Marry Me ~Drew Starkey~

summary: y/n and drew. an inseparable duo. they grew up thinking nothing could come between them. but when they turned 24, they were definitely mistaken.

word count: 2.8k

pairings: drew x reader

warnings: angst

a/n: mostly told in 3rd person with bits of Drew’s POV. based off of this song! this gif will be drew before the wedding, just saying. italics are flashbacks!

masterlist

At 8 years old, Drew was trusted to wander the neighborhood alone. He went to the park and saw a girl dressed in a tutu, dancing barefoot in the sandbox. When he approached her, he startled her. She stopped dancing and turned to face him.

“Hi.” her smile was the most friendly thing Drew had ever seen. It was the first time he’d met someone who didn’t scare him.

“Hi.” he waved and kicked the sand below his foot.

“What brings you here?” 

“Got bored at home and needed a new adventure.” he shrugged in response, hoping to get the girls name without asking.

“ME too.” she smiled. “What’s your name, stranger?”

“D-drew.” he looked up and noticed a quizzical look upon her face.

“I like it.” she smiled and held out her hand. “I”m y/n.”

“y/n?” he raised an eyebrow and looked at her. 

Suddenly becoming insecure of her name, she stepped back., letting go of his hand. “My p-parents liked the name.”

“I like it too.” he smiled and sat on the edge of the sandbox. y/n stood in front of him with an outstretched hand.

“Come on. You wanted an adventure and an adventure, you will get.” she offered him the kind smile she greeted him with. He knew that this new found friendship would last a long time.

------------------------

All through life, y/n & drew were inseparable. In high school, they were always mistaken for a couple, and at the time, neither of them realized just how much they acted like one.

It wasn’t until one night, during one of  Drew’s football games, that one of them started noticing.

The game was nearing the end and Drew had yet to spot y/n in the crowd. She wasn’t in her usual spot in the stands and he was starting to get worried that something had happened to her.

He was the quarterback though, so he couldn’t let that shake his focus. He looked back into the team huddle as they went over the plays. They broke apart seconds later and got in their starting positions. Drew called out some plays and was handed the ball. Just as he was about to throw it, he caught sight of her. She waved at him and he was almost hypnotized. It took y/n screaming his name to make him come to his senses.

“Drew!” she shouted and nodded her head to the left. The other teams players were running towards him so he made a quick pass to the wide receiver on the left. The guy caught the ball and ran it in for a touchdown. That was it. They had won the game. Drew and the guy who made the touchdown were suddenly lifted into the air and everyone started chanting. 

Y/n waited by Drew’s car for him to come out, like she always did. And when she spotted him, she ran full force into him. If he hadn’t seen her already, he would’ve been knocked down. But he caught her and spun her around. 

After they got in his car, they drove to the diner to celebrate with the team. Y/n and Drew sat in their favorite, and most frequented, booth and ordered their usual celebratory meal. Burgers, fries and a shake.

“Where were you? I was getting so worried.” Drew smiled as he stole her fries. She smacked his hand and giggled.

“I had to wait for Dennis to pick me up.”

“Wh-who’s Dennis?”

“He’s my new neighbor. Just moved in a few days ago. He offered to drop me off at the game and he was running late.”

“If you wanted to, you could’ve gotten a ride with me.”

“I know. But I wanted to give you some space before the big game.” she smiled and looked at him. “I didn’t want to distract you right before you went out on the field.”

“You’re my good luck charm. You could never distract me.” he held her hand and looked out the window at their friends, who were goofing off in the parking lot. “You have no idea how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” she smiled and before either of them knew, they both started leaning in. Their lips were only an inch or two apart when they were interrupted by some guy banging on the window beside Drew. “Dennis!” she smiled and ran out to greet the guy. As she slapped his arm for scaring her, he chuckled and wrapped her up in a hug.

Drew instantly felt insecure and he wasn’t sure why. 

This Dennis guy looked like he came out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog, the very type of guy that y/n would fall for. As Drew looked on at the two outside, he didn’t feel hungry anymore so he stood up, paid the bill, and left the diner.

For the next year or so, he distanced himself from y/n. He couldn’t stand to hear her talk about how great another guy was, right in front of him. The night at the diner made Drew realize that the only reason he suddenly felt jealous, was because he was in love with her.

2 years after the championship game, he got an envelope in the mail. It was addressed to him and it was from y/n. Wondering what she wanted, he quickly opened the envelope. But when he did, his heart dropped. Inside was a wedding invitation to Dennis & Y/n’s wedding. 

It was surprising to him that he had even received the invitation in the first place, since he had been blowing her off for the better part of 2 years. He didn’t want to go to the wedding, but he knew if he didn’t, he’d regret it. 

So the day of the wedding, he showed up. His tux was the same one he wore to prom. The exact same one that he knew y/n would love. The one she did love when she saw him in it that night.

It was killing him, these thoughts he was having. He had contemplated his plan and changed the details many times. His original plan was to show up and actually watch the girl he loved get married to the man he was incredibly jealous of. Then, he changed the plan to leaving halfway through. The plan changed 4 more times after that.

And here he was now, getting ready to try out his final plan. He wanted to go see her and he hoped that once she saw him, she’d give up on Dennis and run away with him. 

But as he approached the room where she was getting ready, he heard her talking to her friends. He stopped and listened to them.

“You look so great in that dress.” 

“You really do, sweetie.”

“Thanks, mom.” she smiled and kissed her moms cheek. Her sister and her 2 best friends sat next to each other on the couch.

“Dennis is a lucky man, sis.”

“I’m even luckier.” she smiled happily. “I love him so much.”

When Drew heard those words come from her mouth, he made one final decision. He went back to the gift table, set the box down gently & walked away. He could not stay and watch her marry Dennis. It would break his heart knowing that he could’ve been the one up at the altar with her, had he actually told her how he felt before Dennis entered the picture.

If he had stayed outside of her room just a minute longer, he would’ve heard something amazing during the conversation. Something he would’ve enjoyed hearing.

“Is Drew coming today?” y/n asked her friends.

“You know, I’ve always hoped it was going to be you and Drew doing this.” her mom smiled and shook her head. Y/n’s sister looked at her as well.

“Me too.”

“Yeah. I thought the same thing but, Drew never made a move. It would’ve been nice to be marrying him, but Dennis is a great guy and he treats me well.” y/n smoothed out the front of her dress and turned. “I made the right choice, right?”

“That’s up to you to decide, sweetie.” her mom looked over at her children and smiled.

“5 minutes, ladies.” y/n’s dad walked into the room and nearly bawled his eyes out. “Awww. My baby looks so beautiful.” 

“Oh, dad. You’re gonna make me cry.” y/n grinned and followed the group out of the room. 

“Dennis is going to lose his mind when he sees you.”

“That’s the plan, dad.”

Y/n watched her friends walk down the aisle and when it was her turn, she grabbed her dad’s arm and walked with him. Her eyes searched the crowd for the blue eyes she cared about. Despite what he has been doing to her for years, she wanted nothing more than to see him sitting in the spot she reserved for him.

When here eyes didn’t find his, she started getting nervous. His eye contact was the only thing that truly calmed her down and she didn’t have it right now. She had thought that he had taken the last second to have a bathroom break but after 15 minutes, she realized he wasn’t coming.

She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn’t realize that the ceremony was almost over.

“IF anyone can think of any reason these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” the minister read from his book. 

When nobody stood up to object, y/n felt a knot in her stomach. Part of her had hoped that maybe Drew would stand up and tell her that she was making a mistake and that she should be with him. Unfortunately, he was nowhere around.

“Now, do you Dennis Christopher Mixon, take Y/F/N to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.” Dennis smiled.

“And do you, Y/F/N, take Dennis Christoper Mixon, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

The entire crowd looked at her, anticipating her answer. Her dad knew what she was thinking and he gave her a small nod. 

~Drew’s POV~

After I left the wedding venue, I went to the diner I spent all my free time at. The cook began making me a meal as soon as he saw me and the owner sat with me. 

“What’s up, Drew? Shouldn’t you be at y/n’s wedding?”

“He’s not there because it’s not him she’s marrying.” the cook smiled as he served me. Mrs Marden let out a chuckle.

“Is that true, honey? Are you upset because it’s not you?”

“I couldn’t sit there and watch her say she loves him. She shouldn’t be with him and I should’ve said how I felt from the beginning.”

“You know, the both of us have seen the two of you grow up & we thought that it’d for sure be the two of you sharing the rest of your lives together.” Devyn smiled sympathetically as he sat with us.

“I wish it was me.” I looked down at my watch and undid my tie when I noticed the time. “But it’s too late now. The ceremony is probably over by now and she’s now Mrs Mixon. I missed my chance.” I sighed and threw my head back. I didn’t notice the two of them gaze out the window and share a look.

“It might not be too late, Drew.” Mrs Marden nudged my shoulder and walked away. Devyn followed her as they went to the kitchen. I took a quick look out the window, then back at my plate. 

“Wait a second.” I mumbled to myself and looked back out the window. Y/n was walking up to the diner in her wedding dress. Tears were flowing down her face as she stopped and locked eyes with me through the window. She shrugged and started crying again. 

I got up and ran out to her, immediately pulling her into a hug.

“Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon right about now?”

“I couldn’t do it.” 

“What?”

“I couldn’t marry Dennis.” she sobbed into my chest. “Everyone looked so disappointed as I ran out. I think I broke Dennis’ heart. That’s not what I do. I’m not a heartbreaker. Oh my god. I feel so ashamed.”

“Hey, you did what you thought was right for your heart. I don’t think anyone can be mad at you for that. You knew being with Dennis wasn’t right, so you left.”

“Our parents spent so much money on the wedding and they’re gonna be so mad.” she continued to sob, obviously ignoring what I had just said. I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back a little.

“Look at me, okay? Nobody could ever be mad at you. And if they are, it’ll only be briefly. Like I said, you followed your heart and did what was gonna benefit you. That’s all that matters, y/n/n.” I looked down at her and noticed her eyes were closed. “You’re my best friend and I’m so sorry I’ve been pushing away all these years.” 

Was this finally the time I was able to tell her? Nah, I couldn’t She just ran our on her wedding. It just wouldn’t be right. If she even reciprocated the feelings, I didn’t want to be a rebound. So I kept my feelings buried for now.

“I realized that I didn’t love Dennis as much as I had led myself to believe.” she sniffled and rubbed her eyes. The mascara came off on her hands and she looked at me. I nodded and she rubbed her hands on my tux. Thankfully, it was black and wouldn’t show much. “Truthfully, I fell in love when I was 8 & I’ve never gotten over it. Marrying Dennis wouldn’t have been fair to either party involved.”

“You fell in love when you were 8?” was this the moment? “What a coincidence. I fell in love when I was 8 too.”

“Oh, did you really?”

“Yeah. With this goofy girl who danced barefoot in the sandbox while wearing a bright pink tutu.” I smiled and rubbed her shoulder. “She was quite the style icon back then.”

“Sounds like a complete dork.” she laughed.

“Oh, she was. But that dork became my best friend so quickly. Guess I was just attracted to the ‘dork’ lifestyle back then.”

“You’re telling me.” she smirked, “Remember when you dated Lilah because your friends dared you to?”

“Ugh. Don’t remind me.”

“And then there was Lisa. And Lauren. And the other Lisa. Oh. There was also Lindsey.” she counted off all my ex-girlfriends on her fingers. “Wow. Lot’s of L names, huh?”

“It was my favorite letter.”

“Ah, I see.” she nodded and stared at her feet. Her shoes were now in her hands and she was swinging them. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. And I love you too.” I joked, knowing exactly what she meant. But my tone didn’t come across how I wanted it.

“The kid I was talking about, the one I fell in love with when I was 8, was you.”

“Oh, really? I wouldn’t have ever guessed that.”

“Drew, I’m trying to be serious for a second here. Can you just let me talk, please?”

“Of course. Go ahead.” I smiled and she stood in front of me.

“I’m in love with you, Drew Starkey. And if you’ll let me, I plan on never stopping.”

“I’m in love with you too.” I looked at the girl and when I saw the look in her eyes, I panicked. “But-”

“But? There should be no but.”

“I can’t be a rebound.”

“If anything, Dennis was the rebound from you, dude.” she grabbed my face and made me look in her eyes. “Tell me right now that you don’t want to be with me and I’ll walk away. Look me in the eyes and tell me that’s what you want.”

“I....” I looked into her eyes and all of our memories came flooding back to me. “I can’t do that.”

“Thank god, because I wouldn’t have walked away.” she giggled and kissed my nose, something we used to do to calm each other down & keep each other grounded. “So, is this what you want? A hot mess in a wedding dress?”

“Hey, as long as the hot mess is you, I’m cool with it.” I pulled her closer and rested my forehead against hers. “I’m all in.”

“Hmmm...Good.” she smiled and closed the gap between us. It may have taken nearly 15 years but I finally got what I wanted since I was 8. And like it was magic, she was 8 and wearing her tutu while I was wearing my power rangers t-shirt. 

Life couldn’t get any better.

tags:  @spilledtee​​​ @im-a-stranger-thing @ameeravandijk​​​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​​​ @obxmxybxnk​​​ @http-cherries​​​ @ijustreallylovethem​​​ @maggiesrandomness​​​ @softstarkey​​​ @poguesgold​​​ @jjouterbanks​ @drewstarkey​

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week 9

Gentlemen, 

We’re really starting to get into the belly of the beast here. Playoffs are the least of our concerns as the league is more fixated on the race to Cabana Boy. Can you blame us? It’s going to come down the wire and we’re at the edge of our seats waiting to see who will solidify their spot. On to the recap.

Inglorious Staffords v. Wilmore Cinderella

JP has had a rough couple of weeks. Heartbreak, followed by embarrassment, and now his third consecutive loss. I was in high spirits after JP’s D got -4 and his starting RB got only 4.7 points. He did surge back with great games from his Chargers, Latavius, Calvin, and both Gregs. Unfortunately for him, my team stuck around too long. With only three players in double figures, I fought and clawed my way to a victory. Disappointing games from Stafford and Lamar couldn’t derail monster games from Cooks and Kelce. Also, Kalabar’s Kurse has nothing on me. Finally, two fumbles in the first quarter sealed the victory. Can JP bounce back? Will I survive Thielen on bye next week? Who can pull away?

Kream in my Uggs v. 2-2-1 (0.500) PVO

Yuck. I mean yuck. We thought last week’s win was bad but this one was even worse for Dylan (PVO). You really couldn’t contain Jake this week after hitting almost 136 points. Jake had two players in the 20s (Matty Ice, Michael Thomas) and one in the 30s (Kreamy). Combine that with big games from Chubb and Kittle, Jake was unstoppable. Dylan had a complete letdown this week, barely amassing 50 points. Take away Goff’s monster game and AB’s tuddy, Dylan struggled all around, including only two players (other than AB and Goff) reaching 5 points. A rough day from Dylan, who earlier expressed that he will become Cabana Boy. Only time will tell for both teams. 

Hank Mardukas v. VP

Two teams needing a win in the worst way were matched up against each other. Both are in contention for CB and the loser of this matchup was likely to fall into last place with E’s win. That’s exactly what happened. Vinny had one of his better weeks and was led by Mahomes and the surprising Josh Gordon, along with the recently shipped off Devante Adams. Scott’s limping his way back to last place after his fourth straight loss. Hank had good games from Fitz and Keenan and that’s really it. In fact, only two of his players reached 6 points and the rest fell short. Can Scott claw his way out of the whole? I’m not sure. Scott’s point production hasn’t been there the past few weeks and I think he’s definitely feeling the pressure of the Cabana. 

The Perfect Ten v. Team Timshel

Speaking of Cabana, E has to be breathing a deep sigh of relief. Ian is officially no longer in last place after a big win this week taking down Mike. E was led by huge games from Deshaun, Julio, DeAndre, Chargers D, and J Tuck. All of that and he’s getting Leonard back. Mike has fluctuated between winning and losing and finds himself on the losing end this week. Mike had a poor week this week and only had three guys in double figures: Smith, Conner, and Graham; plus a lot of points on his bench. MIke’s record sits at 6-3 and he’s still looking to find the identity of his team. 

Mr. Magorium v. Kalabar’s Revenge

“November is October 2″ - G. G handed Gabe his second loss of the season in a dominating fashion. Luckily for Gabe, Dylan was the only reason that Gabe wasn’t the Biggest Loser this week. Gabe had a decent showing, specifically Gurley and a monster Bears D game but really was left short by the rest of his team as he was the victim of the bye-blues. G has now won his third straight and looks to be a team fighting for contention. For the week, G had big games from his squad, specifically his twenty-point scorers: Tevin, McCaffrey, and Vikings D. Gabe has relinquished his spot at the top and G is trying to make some noise down the stretch. 

Mixon It Up v. Virginia Reel Rockets

Rob has now won seven in a row and finds himself in the #1 overall playoff spot at this point in time. Al is looking to stay alive as he’s lost his last two. A few weeks ago, Rob put Kamara on the trade block. This week, he scored almost 30 points. Rob has also taken advantage of Sony being out and plugging in White who also put up 20+ points. Al’s team is in a limbo right now. Al can’t figure out which QB to play, leaving tons of points on his bench, and barely putting up 70+ points. Al’s finding himself in the middle of the road and, barring a collapse, seems to have locked up his playoff spot. He’ll look to build momentum down the stretch. Rob’s name change could signal a changing of the guard, or messing up his mojo in a crucial point of the season. 

Week 10 Matchups

Virginia Reel Rockets (5-4) v. Inglorious Staffords (4-5)

Wilmore Cinderella (3-6) v. Kream In My Uggs (5-4)

2-2-1 (0.500) PVO (3-6) v. The Perfect Ten (2-7)

VP (3-6) v. Mr. Magorium (7-2)

Team Timshel (6-3) v. Hank Mardukas (2-7)

Kalabar’s Revenge (6-3) v. Mixon It Up (8-1)

The Biggest Loser (PVO)

It’s currently 6:55pm EST and I have yet to hear from Dylan. This is truly sad. When you build a league, you want to create one for everyone to buy in, regardless of their success, or in this case, failure. 

Update: I’m sorry. You deserve better than this. Dylan didn’t want to show and is officially the biggest biggest loser. We can give Dylan the benefit of the doubt as this might be a downward spiral. 

Cabana Boy Clinch:

MIU: CLINCHED MM: CLINCHED KR: 1 TT: 1 KIMU: 2 VRR: 2 IS: 3 VP: 4 WC: 4 PVO: 4 TPT: 2-7 HM: 2-7

We’re in the heat of the season and playoff seeding is still up in the air. More importantly, we’re in a heated battle for Cabana Boy. Good luck and, as always, set your lineups accordingly.

Your beloved Commissioner, Jared R. Mosqueda

[league-of-light]

Week 4 Pick’em

Look, I know I’m late on the picks this week.  I wanted to get them in yesterday, but other things came up and I didn’t get to it.  I’m sorry, ok?  To make up for it, I have written quite the long pick’em for this week.  I’m not entirely sure if I will be able to make them this long every week, but I think I should be able to. 

Why would I spend all this time writing the pick’em? Great question.  Isn’t there a more productive use of your time? Probably.  Will, you’re moving next week, shouldn’t you be packing or something?  Are you just spending way more time writing picks as a means to delay the inevitable anxiety you’re going to feel about starting a new job and moving?  Do you think this is the healthiest way to deal with that? Psh, you’re not my therapist. 

Anyway, here goes

Yerboi vs Brenner? I hardly know’er

This Will vs. Brenner bout, should be promotionally billed as “Chronically Injured and Underperforming” vs “Complete Lineup Ineptitude”. Both teams come into Week 3 at a resounding 0-2, and are looking to get their season on track after some of high profile trades in the first couple weeks of the season.

There are always big expectations when you make a trade in Fantasy Football.  Typically speaking, you hope and expect that the players you got are going to outperform whomever you traded away (or at the very least perform somewhat similarly). Unfortunately, that won’t always be the case.  Sometimes there are weeks like last week, where JuJu outscored T.Y. Hilton and I am forced to sit there and reflect on how I would have won if I just kept JuJu.  Other times, there are weeks like this week, where Brenner ensures he doesn’t have to deal with the emotional trauma of a trade gone awry because he benches the players he traded for. (No there aren’t, this literally never happens)

I pick myself, simply because I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen a team projected to score as few points as Brenner.

Story To Watch: How quickly it will take Drew Brees to score more than the 3 points Brenner got from Tyrod Taylor.  My guess is 4 plays.

Tangiphil vs Hewie and the Hashslingers

After a fairly explosive first week of the season, we can all finally exhale — Phil’s team is bad again. Shockingly, his 3-headed Running Back Monster is down a head.  Unlike the legend of the Hydra, instead of another head growing in it’s place, Phil decided to chase last week’s bench points and play Nelson Agholor.  If you check his bench this week you may notice Joe Mixon outside of the IR slot, Isaiah Crowell’s wasted 18 point TNF total, and another Jets receiver.  That’s right folks, it’s week 3 and Phil is already in midseason form.

But enough about Phil. Steve is 2-0 and I expect his win streak to continue this week.  In my humble opinion, his team is underprojected with only 98 points, as Big Ben, Melvin Gordon, and Marvin Jones all look poised to be playing catchup in potentially high scoring games.  Look for Steve to hopefully rise in the power rankings after squashing Phil.

Story To Watch: He may be the second head of a three two-headed running back monstrosity, but Adrian Peterson is going to look more like Mike Wazowski than James P. Sullivan this week.  The Packers offense comes to FedEx Field with an offense that looks like two-day expedited shipping, while the Redskins offense has been looking like the Pony Express. Game script gets away from the ‘Skins and they abandon the run.

Kyle vs Sean

Close to half of this league isn’t from Rockland, so I’m going to use this opportunity to tell a story.  To the hometown heroes - some of the overarching details may be incorrect, but I don’t care I have the talking stick. If you want accuracy you can write the damn blog post next week.  Anyway, in sixth grade every middle school student has to take World History.  The curriculum is geared towards ancient civilizations, and a decent chunk of time is spent on Egypt.  As such, every year there was (is?, not sure if they still do it) a grade-wide Egypt project where students had to use their knowledge of Egypt, make something, and showcase it to the class.  Think of it like a science fair, but with crappy Egyptian dioramas instead of baking soda volcanoes.  Since I was a bright eyed ambitious young man who loved art and mythology, I knew I would do great on this project.  I chose the ambitious task of making a sculpture of Horus, the Falcon-headed man prince of the Egyptian pantheon. It wasn’t long before I realized my doodling skills didn’t translate well into making 3D models, but I was in far too deep.  I molded the clay as best I could, and then “accidentally” left it in the oven too long so it burned to a crisp and was nearly unidentifiable.  Needless to say, I didn’t do very well on that project.

Why am I telling you this? Because look at Sean’s team.  Does it look real good on paper? Sure. Does that mean he is likely going to win this week? Probably.  But has his overconfidence blinded him into creating a team made of glass with absolutely no depth in a 16-team league? 67%, yes.  (Because that is the grade I got on the project.)

Story to Watch: Alex Collins has become the running back equivalent of Hillary Swank.  Hot or not? Stay tuned this week and find out…

You Guys Again vs. Johnson Ertz

The moment you’ve all been waiting for is here folks.  I…..I can’t believe it’s finally happening.  After almost two full years, the day has finally come.  Dylan Feldman vs. Dylan Costa are facing off in a fantasy football matchup which I am officially dubbing “The Battle for the Right to be Called Dylan in the Fantasy Football League Group Chat” (and since we love our acronyms here, aka TB4TR2BCDITFFLGC).  Two Dylans enter, only one Dylan leaves. This matchup is arguably one of the most important matchups we have ever seen in this league, and has a chance to change the history books forever.

Unfortunately for Dylan Costa, his squad isn’t exactly striking fear into anyone these days.  I’ll have to go with Dylan Feldman, but his lineup has more red letters than Hester Prynne after an all weekend slumber party at Arthur Dimmesdale’s Dimmesdale Dimmahome.

Story to Watch: With the return of Aaron “I smoke Marijuana so Bowers thinks I’m a bad person” Jones coming back to Green Bay, Jamaal Williams’ usage should be monitored. As the kids say, he hasn’t been very good over the past two weeks, and Aaron Jones is ready to come in blazing *~!420!~*

Bearkley vs. Watch Me

Imagine my shock when I saw I won the bidding war for Ryan Fitzpatrick.  I immediately rushed to find the owners of the Tampa Bay WRs so I could celebrate our good fortune as Fitzmagic showers us all with fantasy points.  Now imagine my shock when I saw Samantha has benched Chris Godwin, not only a rookie (we all know my irrational hype with rookies), but a rookie whose name is lit a combination of God and Win.  I don’t know about you, but doesn’t it feel like Samantha has renounced God and doesn’t want to win this week’s matchup?

On the flipside, Nico runs our Dungeons and Dragons group, and if the 80s taught me anything it’s don’t feed weird aliens after midnight, and that D&D is for devil worshipping heathens.  With any hope of good Christian fun squandered for this matchup, it really is anybody’s game.  I want to believe in the underdog, but more favorable matchups lead me to believe that Nico will pull out the W.

Story to Watch: Saquon Barkley caught 2 of 6 targets week 1 against the Jags.  That number increased to 14 of 16 targets last week as Eli Manning completely lost interest in holding on to the football for more than 1 second.  Is it possible that Saquon receives 28 targets this game as Eli Manning has to look JJ Watt and Jadaveon Clowney in the eyes?

Washington vs. Walshington

I want to take a second here and pour one out for Walsh, who didn’t answer my trade offer or my text message regarding Dalvin Cook and Allen Robinson.  Walsh, you took an injury bullet for me and I will forever be grateful.  It’s appropriate that I mention taking a bullet, because rumors have it Frank Gore was actually there when the first metal bullet was shot in 1425.  Between Gore and Kerryon Johnson, Walsh will be lucky if he gets 14.25 points from his running backs this week.

Andy surprisingly continues to ride or die with Andrew Luck, despite Luck being unable to throw the football more than 15 yards. At this point I assume he is just taunting Arielle with Bortles on his bench, and we have to assume that if Bortles continues putting up 30 point games, eventually Andy might start him.  The biggest story on this squad is how Andy managed to get two of the best big play boom or bust WRs with John Brown and Will Fuller, while also having Amari Cooper and Mike Evans.  That’s a solid receiving core you got there pal, and I just want you to know I see it and appreciate it.

Story To Watch: C’mon, it’s Philip Lindsay.  Every week it’s Philip Lindsay. Everyone loves a hometown hero and I have greatly enjoyed watching this kid ball out.

Bowers v Arielle

I’m high on Dylan Leone Arielle’s team this year.  How could you not be? It was drafted by a man who has $45,000 in fantasy football great young woman who has shown her commitment to the league.  For whatever reason, ESPN’s site stopped working just as I was going to look at this matchup, so unfortunately I am going to have to give an abridged write up of my pick.  I have played these teams back to back so you would assume I know who is on their rosters, but I can’t remember anything other than Russell Wilson and James Conner on Arielle’s team, and Golden Tate and Kirk Cousins on Bowers’.

Based on this limited memory alone, I suppose I am going to pick Bowers in what will likely be another close matchup for the Reikland Reavers

Story to Watch: The story of life as I take this momentary absence from ESPN’s Fantasy Football to reflect on the finer things in the world.  Like Yahoo Fantasy Football.

Jason v Harnsowl

ESPN is still not working for me, neither on my phone nor my computer, so I can’t really give much analysis here.  However, not much analysis is needed.  Unlike his godless sister, Jason is a man of faith. And if George Michaels taught us anything, it’s that you gotta have faith.  You gotta have faith, faith, faith.  Carson Wentz returns this week and I don’t care whoever Harnsowl is playing, it doesn’t really matter.  I mean, as far as the matchup is concerned it might matter, but emotionally speaking, Jason has already won this week. 

I can’t be expected to pick a winner in a matchup that already has a winner, so instead I’ll take this time to remind you to spay or neuter your pets.  Bob Barker used to do a fantastic job of reminding the American people to do so, and if I am being completely honest I just don’t think Drew Carey delivers the message with the same panache. Like sure, I know Drew still says it at the end of the show, but does he really even believe it? Only Drew can really answer that question, but if I had to guess I would bet $100 $101 Drew.  While we’re on the topic, if any of you ever manage to go on Price is Right and you do that thing where you bid one dollar higher than someone else did, you can consider our friendship over.  Not only is it the worst strategy ever, it’s also rude as hell to the other contestant.  In some cases I’m sure the people legitimately don’t know what to bet after someone else bet around the same thing they did, but for the love of God at least bet like $10 higher so there is some tension in the room.  

But yeah, back to football, I pick Jason

Story to Watch: The next episode of Price is Right, Monday September 24th

[jrsechelon]

What Happens In Vegas

An intriguing start to the season has been met with rumblings and calls for one of the general manager’s jobs in the Elite Fantasy League. Black Hole Son has been met with several injuries in several key positions. Quarterback Dak Prescott continues to have lat soreness which he is rehabbing throughout the week. Before the official kickoff last week Black Hole Son’s front office got cold feet and dealt, Dak Prescott. Over the course of the last two and a half weeks, Black Hole Son has made seven trades! This is a new record. In a year where many felt there wasn’t going to be many trades there has been more than we could remember in recent memory. Not only has the front office in Vegas been rolling the dice more than the craps table, but they’ve been playing roulette with their draft picks like they are being forced to play Russian roulette. Buds Bums holds The Busy Killers 4th Rounder that was sent to Black Hole Son for Dak Prescott and Wayne Gallup after Black Hole Son and Buds Bums made a trade. The Busy Killers holds PURPLEHAZE’s 6th Rounder and Black Hole Son’s 7th Rounder, VanillaGorilla’s holds Black Hole Son’s 5th Rounder, and PURPLEHAZE holds Black Hole Son’s 2022 1st Round, 4th Round, and 11th Round.

Wheelin' & Dealin'

Black Hole Son in 2022 has two 5th Rounders (Buds Bums/PURPLEHAZE’s). PURPLEHAZE’s 10th Round, two 12th Rounders (PURPLEHAZE/The Busy Killers), and VanillaGorilla’s 15th Round pick. Just because you reside in Las Vegas, Sin City, a city of bright lights and a million casinos doesn’t mean you have to gamble your present and future away. What happens in Vegas surely doesn’t stay in Vegas when it comes to Black Hole Son. Although fans have complained about wanting their general manager canned, that happening is very unlikely. Before these Vegas fans and Oakland fans who will make the trip to Sin City in week 3 for the season opener, their beloved Black Hole Son’s will be traveling to Green Bay, Wisconsin to face off against LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. Both teams sitting at 0-1 after two heartbreaking defeats, going 0-2 is something neither team wants to face. Derek Carr played lights out last week against the defending Super Bowl Champions and almost pulled out the upset. Josh Allen didn’t have the type of game many expected against Evolution. The game wasn’t the home opener LilShupeScoresBIGPoints was hoping for, but now it’s time to reset and focus on week 2. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints will be looking for big points from Josh Allen and this potent offense, as well as expecting a boost from the foot of Graham Gano who is one of the better kickers in the league. Black Hole Son will continue to ignore the media frenzy and calls for the head of the general manager in hopes for a better outing from Ezekial Elliot and freshly acquired Devin Singletary which can take the pressure off Derek Carr who if he doesn’t have to be the magic man will have the opportunity to lead a balanced offense against LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. Being only their fourth meeting in the regular season all-time neither team has a specific edge over one another, although Black Hole Son leads the all-time record 2-1.

For the two teams that handed the L’s to Black Hole Son and LilShupeScoresBIGPoints, they will continue to look to build on the week 1 success. The defending Super Bowl Champions, Yuba City Sultans remain at home after holding onto the narrow victory against Black Hole Son in the home-opener and annual Thursday Night Football season kick-off game. Yuba City Sultans welcomes into their home the only 0-1 team within their division. Buds Bums, Lamar Jackson, and company enter Newark, New Jersey to welcome the defending champs in the Midwest-Atlantic Division. With the shift in the division when BroncosTillDeath sold their team and the Nashville Crocs became an official franchise, the Sultans are going to have to become familiar with three teams who have been in the same division against each other for many years now. 4-1 all-time against Buds Bums, Yuba City Sultans are most likely not shaking in their cleats.

Sultans Riding High

Through the years, Buds Bums have only had one winning season (2018); while Yuba City Sultans had four winning seasons, including last year when they ran all the way on the back of Derek Henry to the Super Bowl Title. Buds Bums has been in the league one season more than Yuba City Sultans but looking at their overall win/loss/tie record you can see completely different stories. Buds Bums holds a 32-65-2 overall, with this coming Sunday being their 100th game in franchise history. Yuba City Sultans on the other hand holds a 46-39-0 overall franchise record. Two teams who came into the EFL almost simultaneously but have had two completely different journeys. For Buds Bums to change the course of their journey, it starts with this game against the defending Super Bowl Champions. Evolution on the other hand surprised LilShupeScoresBIGPoints posting the second-most points in week 1. Evolution now travels across the country to face Hyrule Empire who had a difficult defeat in week 1. Evolution now travels across the country to face Hyrule Empire who had a difficult defeat in week 1. Traveling across the country will be tough to adjust to the time difference, not just that but Evolution is going to have to maintain the same high level of play they showed in week 1 in week 2 if they want a chance to defeat Hyrule Empire. Joe Burrow looked poised last week against VanillaGorilla’s but the early injury Mostert sustained hindered Hyrule Empire to get their running game established. For Hyrule Empire to find success in week 2, they will need to continue to rely heavily on Burrow to stay consistent and get a running game established early.

Burrow Poised To Succeed

Burrow is still young but has a lot of poise that screams veteran quarterback! Trevor Lawrence for Evolution looked more like a rookie than even Burrow did in his rookie campaign. It should be a fun game between two young and hungry quarterbacks. Overall this game may come down to which quarterback doesn’t turn the ball over more. That is why establishing the running game early is so important. Joe Mixon stands atop the leading rushers after week 1 but Hyrule Empire has a very shifty running game and two speedsters. Yes, losing Mostert is a big blow to this team that has Super Bowl aspirations; but the next-man-up approach always has to be something considered in football. Eli Mitchell will be ready to go. Hyrule Empire has a group of speed and shifty players in all positions including defense. Jalen Ramsey, Aaron Donald, and the rest of the defense will be licking their lips at the chance to get after rookie quarterback Trevor Lawrence. Evolution and Hyrule Empire haven’t met each other much over the course of the Elite Fantasy League, much like LilShupeScoresBIGPoints and Black Hole Son - but neither team will come on that field unsure of what the task is. Both coaches will have their teams ready, but for Evolution, it isn’t just battling Hyrule Empire, it’s battling the pacific timezone.

Another South-East team that has to travel to the Pacific timezone is the 0-1 Crocs. The Crocs along with Evolution will both be playing games in California in South-East division versus Pacific division match-ups. The Crocs will be flying out of Nashville late Friday night and land early morning in California. The Crocs got a taste of what the Elite Fantasy League is all about is a game that came down to the wire. The Crocs fell in 0-1 against division rival The Canadian Cripplers but showed many that they have what it takes to hang against these seasoned EFL teams. Now a week into the season and sitting at 0-1, the Crocs have a chance to push their record to an even .500 when they go against Black Mambas. Black Mambas was able to shut Aaron Rodgers down and do a ton of damage through the air with veteran quarterback Matthew Stafford. In another difficult game, Black Mambas defense will have to shut down Kyler Murray who is looking like a contender for league MVP. This being their first game against one another, the only tape footage that Black Mambas can use is what happened last week on the field against The Canadian Cripplers. The Cripplers couldn’t shut down Murray who at times looked unstoppable out there. He has all the tangibles to be one of the very best quarterbacks but as we mentioned on the opposite side of the field is exactly that; one of the very best quarterbacks. Matthew Stafford showed us that he is rejuvenated being in a new location and has all the focus and drive to push Black Mambas back to the postseason. Get ready, because this game between Stafford and Murray will be one that we don’t forget.

Patrick Mahomes, David Montgomery, and rookie receiver Ja’Marr Chase all had some huge games last week. Do you know who else did? Tyreek Hill, George Kittle, and Rob Gronkowski. At 1-1 in the all-time match-up between these two teams - I think this could very well be the highest scoring affair in week two. Balls Deep traveling to Cincinnati in week two gets a chance to pull their record to 1-1 and take the rubber match against Straight Edge Society. It’s been a while since we have seen Straight Edge Society as a dominant team in the EFL, but something tells me those days are going to be a distant memory this season. Balls Deep lost a tough one last week late, but they have no reason to hang their heads. In fact, Balls Deep should be inspired by the defeat and motivated to find a way to close out early.

Lance Or Jimmy G?

TJ Watt should continue to be motivated after the big payday prior to the season starting and tasting the bitter feelings of defeat, he’ll want to lead his defense over Patrick Mahomes the man who was voted number one in the Top 100 Players of 2020. Jimmy Garoppolo looked good last weekend but the decision to run Trey Lance out there makes one wonder if these are special gadget plays specifically for Lance or if Balls Deep is trying to get the rookie quarterback reps, no matter how little they may be. You can’t tell me Jimmy G couldn’t have dumped a short 5-yard end route to his receiver into the endzone as Trey Lance did. For Balls Deep to be successful this week against Straight Edge Society and their high powered offense, they will have to allow Jimmy Garoppolo to remain in that huddle. Any form of gadget plays that bring Lance in will only hurt Jimmy G’s ability to continue the chemistry building between him and his receivers. Trey Lance is a special talent and I understand why Balls Deep wants to bring him on the field, but you exposed yourself in week one. Straight Edge Society now knows what packages you have highlighted for Trey Lance. This affair between these two teams should be a fun one. A game that may come down to who has the ball last and which defense can sustain the opposing offense.

Ultimate Savages and The Canadian Cripplers are both playing back-to-back divisional games. Both teams went 1-0 against their week 1 divisional opponents, now playing another divisional game they have a chance to get an early lead within their divisions. The Canadian Cripplers are on back-to-back road division games early. This is a tough test but for a team that is based in Canada, it can be an even bigger pain. Lucky for them though, if they go 2-0 now they will be hosting these two teams later in the season when the weather in Canada becomes a bit more frigid. For The Canadian Cripplers, they travel to Dallas, Texas to face off against their biggest rival, The Busy Killers. The Busy Killers took a remarkable late week 1 lead against Balls Deep and was able to hang on. For The Busy Killers, this is a game that brings flashbacks to the minds of the players and coaches. Week 14 last year The Cripplers hammered the final nail in the coffin of The Busy Killers ending their postseason hopes. Week 2 is a chance for revenge. This game against two rivals will again most likely be decided on the foot of their kickers. Evenly matched in many areas on the offensive and defensive side of the ball, once again the game will be on the foot of their kickers. Bank on it to happen. The team that has the ball last will heavily have to rely on their kicker to seal the game. Last week The Busy Killers sealed their game with the foot of their kicker, The Canadian Cripplers on the other hand was able to seal their game with a late turnover.

Rodgers Versus McCaffery

Crosby didn’t have many chances due to a defense that was rushing all day, but The Busy Killers are more familiar with The Canadian Cripplers antics than the Crocs so Crosby will have to be ready at a moments notice. Ultimate Savages and Rainelo Hawks renew their rivalry also. This just like The Busy Killers is a chance for revenge for Rainelo Hawks. The Rainelo Hawks needed a win last year in week 14 to capture their division. Instead, they failed to win and fell 0-2 against Ultimate Savages. Both teams reside in Seattle, the travel time isn’t bad at all but being the “Away” team in your own stadium has got to feel different. For Ultimate Savages, they will get to experience that. Unphased last season with this Ultimate Savages will look to continue the punishment and take the city of Seattle from Rainelo Hawks who has long been established there. Rainelo Hawks and Aaron Rodgers got to get things figured out because several media analysts believe Rodgers may not be “all in” when it comes to football. We know one thing though, usually when Rodgers has a terrible game, the next game he ends up putting up around 3-5 touchdowns and over 400 yards. Should we go back to R-E-L-A-X; cause I believe Rainelo Hawks and Rodgers will be just fine.

Last week we got a treat when Rainelo Hawks and Black Mambas renewed their old rivalry back from the days they were in the same division. Week 2 we get another chance to enjoy an old division rivalry being renewed. PURPLEHAZE travels to Chicago to take on VanillaGorilla’s. These two teams go back a long time. This isn’t only an old division rivalry being renewed for the sixteenth time, but it is a Super Bowl III rematch where VanillaGorilla’s defeated PURPLEHAZE. VanillaGorilla’s was able to pull out a huge victory over Hyrule Empire last week, even on the heels of star wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. being ruled out right before kickoff. VanillaGorilla’s was the number 1 seed last year in the postseason and they looked just as well last week. The defending Mountain-West Division Champions, PURPLEHAZE didn’t have an answer for Ultimate Savages last week. Much like Black Hole Son, PURPLEHAZE has been surprisingly active within the trade market. For PURPLEHAZE though, they have acquired quite a bit of extra early-round draft picks while giving little away. PURPLEHAZE looks like a team that is focused on trying to win now but is also building for the future. Nothing is certain and nothing

Rivalry Renewed

suggests that PURPLEHAZE is giving up on the 2021 season; instead, they are just securing what they can for the next several years while hoping for a successful 15th season. VanillaGorilla’s holds the overall win/loss/tie record over ex-rival PURPLEHAZE at 9-6-0. Last week we saw Russell Wilson cook and boy did he look refreshed to be in a new city. Throwing for 254 yards, 4 touchdowns, and 0 interceptions, we talk about Kyler Murray being a favorite for league MVP, but Wilson will and should be in that conversation too. Losing Josh Jacobs for this game will be a tough go for PURPLEHAZE. Acquiring rookie Kenneth Gainwell and Brandin Cooks from Black Hole Son for Devin Singletary should help but having to rely on rookie running backs might be too much to ask for.PURPLEHAZE and VanillaGorilla’s aren’t unfamiliar with each other though and that gives PURPLEHAZE a better chance against this dominant Chicago franchise. If you think for one moment that PURPLEHAZE will lay down for VanillaGorilla’s you’ve got another thing coming. Yes, VanillaGorilla’s are favored. Yes, they have the better team but any given Sunday, anything can happen. PURPLEHAZE and VanillaGorilla’s met last season in week 2 where VanillaGorilla’s put a shellacking to PURPLEHAZE - Though many feel PURPLEHAZE may be the worst team this year if I was a betting man I may just put some money on these purple people to pull out a massive upset over VanillaGorilla’s who last lost to PURPLEHAZE week 3 of 2019.

[leagueofawesomedudes]

2020 LOAD Week 7 Preview

Alright boys, we’re friggen back. I sat at my computer watching a rant-filled groupme conversation as I flipped back and forth between the 37 tabs of the historical data LOAD spreadsheet when I came to the decision 6 weeks is long enough. No longer will you be deprived of my majestic, dare I say, God-like pen to paper fantasy football previews. That’s right, pucker up your buttholes and be ready to masturbate with your tears of joy, laughter, and distraught as I destroy each and every one of you. No Browns talk, no putting it lightly, no bullshit.

Before I start, TJ we appreciate your commissioning efforts in the 2020 season. This is not in spite, I just really missed the preview articles and is my push to somehow keep them around.

And now back to your regularly scheduled cheek spreading unadulterated fun.

 “Jared, wait for this sick drop” The Injured Reserve (1-5) vs.

“Burg, I think these guys actually want to fuck me” Can’t Guard Mike (3-3)

If Jon’s not ferociously defeating the CoCo (Covid19) or nervously giggling as the Squad guys make questionable sexual advances on him, he’s putting together a solid team. I mean you can’t knock a guy with a 3-3 record when you’ve scored the most points in the LOAD. Buuut I’m going to anyway. Suck it Jon. Casey’s still recovering from drafting Joe Mixon in the first-round last year but I will say has elevated his strive for the playoffs. He even did a trade! Good job man someone had to respond to Dom eventually. Your participation in the Groupme on game days (mostly Monday nights) is welcomed and if you ever schedule a tee time at 7am that doesn’t also require a 2 hour commute I’m totally down. Unless Doug’s there I’m all set on my 401k. Unfortunately for Casey, Jon is returning Michael Thomas after his teammate altercation (HideYoWifeInNawlins?) and looks to earn a playoff spot the old-fashioned way with his record.

Jon > Cholly

 “The Snowman” SheDiggsMyCobb (0-6) vs.

“Why’s the Snowman doing all my coke” Pelting Coopers (4-2)

Bennett as much as I appreciate you on my side of the Kicker argument your record is almost making me want you on the other side. We’ve all seen the “historical” data showing where you stand but you do realize you have to get W’s or you fall behind right? This is what you get for recklessly abandoning your strong stance on a roster full of white players only housing 4 on the roster? And to think we all depended on you. Dom I have to say we all enjoy you a lot more without the bullshit time advantage our previous waiver wire system afforded you. The FAAB system has given us all new found time and sleep on our hands but unfortunately for you has also opened the door to the testing facility every other Wednesday. No one blames you with the LA puh and that hair of yours. Speaking of trade rapes, no one talks enough about the Hunt for Edelman straight up during a tough Browns opener and an extremely intoxicated Chad. Well done sir, whether ethical or not, well done. Bennett stays as defeated as his meat on page 113 of XNXX and counting, and takes the L.

Salami > Benito

“What’d you say you use to slow balding?  My friend was wondering” Dj Play Moore Drake (2-4) vs.

“Bro check it it’s River, like Rocky River, where I live, get it?!?!” jared donovan’s team

 Man, I’ve seen few people more confident than Paul heading into the season. He had the mock drafts, the magazines, the insiders, hell even Reddit! And yet here we are. You all thought I was trade raped but yet here. we. are. Our loving Paul with the closest thing to an unbreakable spirit, almost broken. I do think there’s potential for a rebound this year, but Jared is totally trying now and never was before last year so it won’t happen this week. New house, new puppy, same Jared. Guy throws a moving party on my birthday weekend of all weekends. Just when you think Jared can’t surprise you any more, he gives me an entire day to show off how fucking big I am in front of all my friends. No ladies, your boyfriend is still not bigger than me.  Thanks again dude it was the highlight of my 2020. Jared somehow gets one of the top QB’s in the league AND Darius Slayton for a rookie QB potentially on the rise and he’s in a spot to continue to do some damage in the LOAD. Paul, you’re going to need one of Jared’s 3 hour long showers to recover from this beatdown.

Jerry > Pav

 “I’m not triggered but CEH’s game was undisputedly the 1st game of the year” 2 Younghoes 1 Kupp (4-2) vs.

“Wait I don’t have Wentz anymore?” Under the Influwentz (2-4)

A Mr. Douglas Yeckley is the latest to join the fiancé gang and I personally can’t wait until I hit my annual quota of 1 face to face hang out at the Secret Santa to congratulate him in person. I’m still trying to figure out if he checks his email more than the groupme and actually knows he’s the second-best fantasy manager in the LOAD. Yahoo favors the autodraft, can’t wait to see how he does without it next year :) Sam, Sam, Sam. Trying to determine how I feel about writing this on your birthday. I can hate on your dedication to Fantasy as much as I want, but gosh darnit do I have to respect it. Especially with Ashley calling all of your shots this year. We all know she’s been the brains behind this operation this year. Just wait bud, that spreads into all decisions you make real soon. The old “well her lease is up so it makes sense” is how it alllll starts my friend. Won’t be long until that hair of yours starts to look like mine and Pauls. And just because I always root against you, I’m sticking to my guns.

Fur > Sammy

 “You said she’s 18? Nah too old for me” Street Charks (3-3) vs.

Dad (6-0)

Battle of the daddys. Chad out on the streets, and Shawn in the burb life. I’ve been sitting here trying to determine which one of their kids has a better chance of coming out with a bomber on. History repeats itself so I think we have the answer. It’s not often I’m called a trend setter, but this may be the start. Shawn needs to watch out as Chad’s newly shaved arms not only make him look more jacked, aerodynamic when he fights, but it also packs an extra punch in fantasy. Shawn’s the only remaining undefeated team left, but I feel the walls are closing in on him with some injuries to the roster. Even as he’s reading this Chad’s defending Shawn in his head, and giggling as he hears “Right Shawn?” “No, left Shawn”. Just hoping I can get one random, witty comment from Shawn in the groupme from this and I’ll feel accomplished. You’re upset of the week boys, you heard it here first.

Wardog > Carothers

 ***Game of Ze Week***

“It’s actually classified as hair-thinning, that’s all” Kickers & Defense (4-2) vs.

“Oh yeah? Well my friends all tell me I’m the best commish they’ve ever had” Tony Time (3-3)

 If you thought I was going through all of this trouble to write this and not putting myself as the game of the week you’re dumber than Malik. And with that, I’ll lead into a fan favorite, story time:

It’s a brisk Fall morning amidst a global pandemic but more importantly, fantasy season. The squad members have begun to wake and start their days. It’s Friday, so Solden has already been trying to get the troops going as Chad frantically thinks of things to talk about. A small tickle from his mustache causes Tony to slowly open his eyes, taking in a deep breath as Petey licks his face. It’s a calm 8:45, so he still has time to drink his coffee outside before starting his day. As he scrolls among the 37 groupme notifications he figures, why not download the Yahoo app and see what’s going on. Notifications? Hmm I wonder what that could be. His eyes widen. Mouth drops. Sweat begins to pour as The Darth Vader coffee mug slips from his grasp. *Justin Herbert – Questionable (ribs)* *Dionte Johnson – Out (back)*

*Clyde Edwards-Helaire  – Questionable (Ankle)*. This can’t be he says. I rallied them all yesterday it mustn’t be! These trades were fool proof! He frantically sprints over to the computer as Petey sits next to his empty food bowl. “At a time like this?!? Not now Petey!!!” He repeats in his head chant-like “The spreadsheet will have the answers, the spreadsheet will have the answers” as he frantically logs in. No…   No it can’t be…. He had it saved to the desktop he’d just edited it the night before for 9 hours! Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!

“Tj wake up” He jumps. He checks his mustache to make sure it’s still there. It was just a dream. And all is right in the world again.

Solden > Tj

  What’s that Jon? I can’t hear you with Trumps dick in your mouth. Boom Roasted.

Tj is your full-time job as a Commissioner or at Park Place? Boom Roasted.

Dom a 3 is still a 3 in LA we all see the snaps. Boom Roasted.

Shawn locked yourself out of your house lately? Boom Roasted.

Sam when’s the coronavirus peak coming? Boom Roasted.

Jared it’s going away right after the election, right? Boom Roasted.

Doug I’m not talking about work at Secret Santa. Boom Roasted.

Chad a 3 is still a 3 in Lakewood we all see the snaps. Boom Roasted.

Casey I miss driving you to O’Bleness. Boom Roasted.

Paul I’m writing this while I’m working from home at home. Boom Roasted.  

Bennett I’m writing this while I’m working from home at home. Boom Roasted.

Malik you’re an idiot and can’t read this. Boom Roasted.  

Damn that felt good. Until next time boys. Solden out.

[powerranks]

Ortonary Gentlemen Power Rankings, Week 1

We back.

1. WAP (Chris “ashamed to admit this but I had no idea you moved to Modesto until you turned on the webcam for the draft” Gatzow) (1-0)

If Big Ben is good for 20+ a week, we’re all in big trouble. Plenty of RB depth, plenty of WR depth (even without Deebo), Waller will probably be ok. Yet again, Chris should teach a fucking class on how to draft. Is this finally his year? We’ll see. Nobody that hasn’t won one deserves one more than Chris, who seems to put together bonkers ass teams every single year. 

2. KYLER INSTINCT (Alex “Would be a terrible NFL GM” Ahn) (1-0)

The best set of runningbacks Orton has probably ever seen, although it was aided a ton by the Mack injury. Alex has 4 guys who would probably walk into anyone else’s lineup, and it’s insane. Kyler looks like the real deal. The Ravens defense is always somehow 50% better when you roster them. However, will those receivers and tight ends hold up all year? I’m thinking you’ll get more down weeks than up weeks from those guys, but it might not matter with the rest of the roster. You’d probably be lower if not for a lucky injury to Conner, I can’t not factor that in.

3. I Won’t Bang Your Wife (Anthony “prepared less than all of us and destroyed week 1″ Mendola) (1-0)

We all questioned Anthony drafting who he drafted and when he drafted them, but this is why he does it! I view my team and Anthony’s pretty similarly, but he has significantly more depth than I do. Losing bell might be a blessing in disguise, since Bell might suck this year even if he played. You have a set starting lineup outside of your flex (but plenty of options for it), and I like those teams in which there isn’t much uncertainty. The only reason you aren’t higher is Ertz’ uncertain situation. He scored but did almost nothing outside of that, and seems to be arguing with management and may even be traded. Rodgers being Rodgers would give you a really valuable trade chip.

4. Billy Crammed (David “Trash Julian Edelman takes apparently” Chinchilla) (1-0)

Definition of a glass cannon. Arguably the best starting lineup in the league, with absolutely ZERO depth behind the starters. Part of that is drafting my own handcuffs (which look like a good move, Edmonds and Mattison looked good W1) but when AP is my only non-handcuff cover at RB and Anthony Miller is my only current cover at WR, That’s not great. We all know depending on Will Fuller is a fool’s errand. Golladay can’t come back sooner. Ridley breaking out might make up for Hurst not being as good as we may have thought.

5. Praters Gonna Prate (Jack “strangely absent so far” Cleek) (0-1)

Was James Conner staying healthy away from having a pretty impressive win/week. I’m personally very high on Ryan (will be throwing all fuckin game every game), Gurley (receiving option on that same offense), Mixon (once Burrow figures it out), Davante (Literally Jesus Christ) and Jared Cook might be the #1 receiver on that team until Thomas is back. The Conner injury is a BUMMER, but you may have found a diamond in the rough with Robinson, and I like the depth behind McLaurin.

6. Odell and the Poopers (Alec “Almost Married” Bernstein) (0-1)

So I might also be one of the luckiest people from week 1, because Alec’s team legitimately had 3 touchdown passes that they dropped (like in their hands, in the end zone) and Mayfield wildly overthrew OBJ on what should have been a pretty long TD if I’m not mistaken. The top end talent on this team is kind of crazy (Deshaun, Jacobs, Julio) and could score 90 by themselves on a weekly basis. The problem is the rest of the team needs to probably step up a bit more than they have. Sutton coming back will make his life a lot easier, but if OBJ and Robinson keep beefing with their teams Alec might be hard pressed for a solid flex. I’d also be...mildly concerned about the RB2 spot. Singletary might be in a full on committee where Moss gets the valuable touches. 

7. Pain (Dylan “Loser Pick’em Loser #1″ Jessop) (0-1)

Josh Allen is wild. Truly wild. I think his rushing floor will be enough to make him super viable, but oh man the rest of the roster didn’t have a great showing outside of Henry, and you probably didn’t get his floor since the game was close. The Chargers seemed hell bent on using Ekeler as a primary runner (when he’s devastating as a receiver) and your receivers had a BAD day. I do think you wildly underperformed (and still got to 115ish) but I just wish there were a few more encouraging signs. Moore, Hilton, Allen, and Chark all had an underwhelming day in one form of another, and RoJo (currently your flex) might not have too much life left as a useful player. Joshua Kelley SZN.

8. Baker’s Dozen (Scott “Beshoy week 1 nemesis” Felgenhauer) (1-0)

Losing your first round pick is never a good thing, and even though you won I think you’re going to struggle through a few weeks. Ingram might be losing his job, David Johnson has a really bad matchup (he looked REALLY good though!!!), and the receivers are ROUGH without Thomas (although Evans coming back could fix a lot). I think you’ll need Lamar and Andrews to continuously have monster weeks for you to have a chance, but that might not be the worst bet to make. Everyone who plays you has to withstand 50 from Lamar and Andrews every week. 

9. The Shoydemic (Beshoy “Loser Pick’em Loser #2″ Halim) (0-1)

Lowest scorer, oof. I believe in Miles Sanders as much as anyone, so him coming back will definitely boost this quite a bit as the season goes on. Hines looks like a potential league winner. I think you’d be much higher if you didn’t have a ton of bad matchups (Barkley and Engram can’t possibly do worse) and injuries (Sanders). Brady looked better for fantasy than he did in real life, which is all that matters to you. I actually do like your team but for the sake of the power rankings I can’t ignore the awful week. I also can’t ignore the fact that...you have NO receivers outside of Cooper and Godwin? Beshoy what the hell man? Godwin has a concussion lol

10. Who’s your daddy (Tony “Texas” Mendola) (0-1)

Our trade was fair but looks a little worse for you in hindsight. Lindsay got hurt and Gallup looked uninvolved. However, Mahomes/Clyde is a crazy good top 2, and Montgomery will only get better as the season goes along despite a pretty slow start. Juju looked better than advertised, but the rest of the receiving corps was ROUGH. I think drafting more receivers/RB’s would have looked a lot better in hindsight as opposed to the three QB’s. This is probably a little harsh, but I like the roster as a whole the least here. Unproven RBs, and receivers who were all seen as risks prior to the year. 

PICKS:

LOCK OF THE WEEK:

ALEC over Scott

UPSET OF THE WEEK:

DYLAN over Alex

OTHER PICKS:

DAVID over Jack

ANTHONY over Tony

CHRIS over Beshoy

[sector2020]

Neinstein Personal Injury Attorneys Peterborough Canada

Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers, Rose Leto Talks About Animal Injury Liability. Listen to the podcast or view the video podcast on Vimeo. Rose Leto Goes Over Animal Injury Liability video's Podcast Read the Records Podcast listed below. That's the most scary thing in the world. She was really unconscious after it happened and was bleeding, and we were worried that she had died.

He grabbed her entire head and the veterinarian later stated that he was trying to snap her neck. And now her almost $3,000 in veterinarian expenses are accumulating. And lastly, says the other pet has actually caused issues in the neighborhood before. She wishes to hold its owners responsible. We've discovered about 3 or 4 various owners that have had their dogs assaulted to have actually seen her canine be aggressive.

They stated that they would ask the other pet owner to constantly use a muzzle on their animal. No fines were issued, and no other information was given, mentioning privacy concerns. We can't give the name, address, or contact number, no? That's simply horrible. So, they're fretted about her making sure it's fair for her when literally I have a pet who's now lost her eye.

Leslie has actually worked with an attorney who states she is entitled to settlement through small claims court. We put the concern to a personal injury lawyer. If their dog does proceed and bite another animal or another individual, then they're responsible under the law for the actions of their pet.

However first, the victim needs to know how to get in touch with the wrongdoer. Getting contact information can be challenging and costly. Now, Leslie with legal costs to contribute to her troubles. It's a Privacy Act. They can go through freedom of information through the city of Toronto and request the information.

It just appears reasonable that the dog that was assaulted would have more of the rights, and it just doesn't appear like it's that way today. Toronto Animal Services states that you can contact them by calling 311 if your canine has ever attacked, or go onto their site for a whole list of bylaws and more details about what you're entitled to for the canine owner.

At the East little animal shelter in Saphia Khambalia. Contact Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers Neinstein Videos Also Readily Available on Youtube: Neinstein LLP - Toronto Car Accident Lawyers, Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers #neinsteinpersonalinjurylawyers #personalinjurylawyers #neinstein.

Rose Leto https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/?search=places in toronto is a veteran insurance litigation and personal injury attorney, and a partner at She has expertise in injury claims connecting to cars and truck mishaps, long-lasting impairment, and slip-and-fall injuries. Rose has actually argued prior to the Ontario Court of Appeal, the Work Environment Safety and Insurance Coverage Appeals Tribunal, the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board, the Social Advantages Tribunal, and the Canada Pension Tribunal.

Rose is fluent in Italian and an active member of the Italian-Canadian neighborhood, an important asset for a personal injury lawyer working in diverse downtown Toronto. She is likewise an active participant in a variety of continuing education legal courses and medical education programs. Severe injuries can basically alter the quality of a person's life by triggering long-lasting physical impairment and deep mental and psychological discomfort.

Rose Leto and the staff at Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers guide their clients along every step Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers of the course to recovery by assisting them gain access to leading medical and rehabilitative care and guaranteeing they get https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=places in toronto the optimum possible compensation for their injuries. No dollar amount can offset catastrophic injury or long-term disability, however financial assistance can enhance injury victims' quality of life.

Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers Included on Daytime Toronto 08:19 https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/neinsteinpersonalinjurylawyers/Neinstein_Personal_Injury_Lawyers_Featured_on_Daytime_Toronto.mp3?dest-id=1697168 https://ssl-static.libsyn.com/p/assets/6/1/b/2/61b21e60ff26c4b3/neinstein-personal-injury-lawyers.png 2809560403 9941a17c-e404-48b0-8b9d-58d90413bc8a In today's episode of Neinstein Personal Injury Rose Leto Lawyers was Included on Daytime Toronto. Listen to the podcast or watch the video podcast on Vimeo. Well, I, one of the statistics I pointed out earlier in the program was that.

And the statistics go on and on about a brain injury and how it impacts the lives of Canadians and Torontonians naturally. So we have actually got a terrific event showing up. We're going to tell you about, you can support people with brain injuries, uh, the committee member from BIST, Obeya, Mixon and mango Ruth Fernandez, and the chair of best, a charity occasion.

Excellent to have you both here. Thanks for having us. Best is brain injury society of Toronto near the other one is the Ontario brain injury association. Exactly what is finest. Well, this is a, the local chapter of the Ontario brain injury association. So, uh, there were numerous chapters, 26 chapters all throughout Ontario and the trial chapter.

And assist them get incorporated back into the neighborhood after they have actually received a head injury. And we are a, that was just one figure I offered. The numbers on. Brain injuries are shocking, ideal? 18,000 Ontarians were, uh, will suffer a brain injury. And that indicates, you understand, in one year, every hour 6 Canadians are affected with a brain injury.

Um, it takes place too. You understand, people that we understand, one in 10 people that you understand will suffer a brain injury this year. So it's rather, it's a huge, big problem in our society and for kids particularly, it's so important that they use a helmet. We understand when they're practicing sports which they're taking all safety measures to be safe.

And unfortunately, this is an. They just been started in the last 10 15 years. Um, and it's most likely shocked when you hear the numbers and the absence of info individuals have about head injuries thinking about all the other amazing fundraising events that we, uh, see throughout Ontario. And when you see the varieties of head injuries, it's stunning that there is very little awareness about this disease.

I discover it frequently does. It typically does. You know, generally patients will present with communication, um, specials needs. And you know, it's always is not constantly extremely clear if you have a brain injury, so you break an arm, it's, it's clear to see exactly what somebody might be stumbling with their words.

Yeah. You don't often detect that unless you understand the person for a truly long time. And you sort of must keep an eye out for mood swings and you know, maybe they're not interacting appropriately and things that you didn't trouble them in the past. Sort of annoying to them now.

And what about kids? If your kid falls off the bike, they brush themselves off, the weeping stops. You believe everything's fine, what should we be keeping an eye out for? So hard to recognize brain injuries, specifically in kids since they're not able to articulate what they're feeling. Uh, so word, finding problems with sleeping, uh, problems with, um, having the ability to eat a cravings.

Cause the, the disadvantage is, uh. Is substantial. And people with brain injuries, it generally takes a, within the very first year is the most efficient in getting rehabilitation. So if you do not recognize this within the very first year, you're losing an ability for your brain, which is a muscle to start restoring itself.

Truly. So the brain is capable of re re regenerating some of those hurt locations. Definitely. Definitely. You know, I was a, I was simply at a talk with dr tatter and he says, instantly if you understand your child has had a concussion or he's hit his head, we absolutely know for sure as the reality that it is a brain injury.

Description: Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers podcast is based in Toronto and covers many aspects of Canadian personal injury law. We talk about the information a personal injury lawyer requires to cover to make sure that individuals in need of representation and their households receive the compensation, care and support they are worthy of. Discover how a personal injury legal representative acts as a supporter and trusted consultant through the intricate legal, medical and insurance coverage concerns associated with an individuals recovery.

Mar 27, 2020Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers, Rose Leto Goes Over Animal Injury Liability. Listen to the podcast or watch the video podcast on Vimeo. That's the most terrifying thing on earth. She was in fact unconscious after it Neinstein Medical Malpractice Lawyers Hamilton Canada.

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Weekly Recap: Week 9

Gents,

We’re almost towards the end of the season and there’s still a lot to come. Plenty of teams are in the hunt and some will separate from the back, for better or for worse. On to the recap:

Team Timshel v. Viking Quest

I haven’t fully decided on how to exactly pin this on JP but it has to be his fault. A Jared/Jarrod on MNF with a dependence on a Patriots RB? Yeah, he started this and now I’m being affected. Not cool, JP. This win for Mike comes with an asterisk and I’m counting this as a loss for Wilmore. I decided to not play Cam and that came back to haunt me. I only really had good games from Kennan and Kelce. Kamara didn’t do much despite the big win and my RBs are starting to concern me. For Mike, a big game from Chark and a miracle game by Russ kept him afloat. Normally when your two starting RBs only amount to 8.4 points you end up with a loss but despite having four turnovers, Russ ended with 22.1 and a victory for Mike. Back to back champ? We’ll see.

11-4-1 PVO v. Virgin Red Roosters

With a new name comes a big victory for Al. The incumbent Cabana Boy can give all the praise to Kyler who popped off for an easy 37.92. His Cardinals have been keeping him steady these last few weeks and even had a 20+ spot from Kirk on his bench. Al has separated himself from the Cabana Boy spot over these last few weeks but no one is safe just yet. For Dylan, he’s trending in the opposite direction. A guy who just can’t seem to find the right QB seemed to start the season off on the right foot with a good draft but hasn’t been able to put it all together. Three players scored in double figures and a bulk of his points are thanks to Scary Terry McLaurin. We can all play the “what-if” game but for Dylan having Brady go for 2.36 with Herbert getting 23.44 and Slayton getting 1.3 and Curtis putting up 22.3 is a tough pill to swallow. Hopefully, he can turn it around quickly or he’s in danger of pouring Gabe fireball shots all weekend long.

The Perfect Ten v. Hank Mardukas

Scott had been rolling. Finally finding the right groove but this week he fell flat and the balloon seemingly popped. For the victor E, he had two 30+ point scorers in Mahomes and CMC. He also had big games from DK and Fuller but now his concern has to go back to CMC. Crisp-tian MunchCrunchfrey is in danger of going back to his injured self which is disappointing for E’s hope of finally getting him back. Scott only had two players in double figures this week thanks to Jonnu and a big game from Drew “Jeezy” Lock. Scott’s seen his fair share of injuries this season with Dak and Saquon, one alone is tough. He’s been able to piece it together and limp along the way but now it’s looking like reality might be hitting him with full force.

Tua Days v. Wilmore Cinderella

Vinny might be in trouble but let’s focus on the good: Tua scored more than Lamar this week. That’s a good thing, right, Vinny? Too bad you didn’t start him; however, it wouldn’t have mattered. Outside of Lamar’s 18.6, he had two players in double figures with Cooks (15.8) and Claypool (11.3). Not great. Vinny has said that he’s trading Dolphins wins for Fantasy losses but it’s still sad to see his team become what it is: a bunch of losers. PVO. He’ll need to step it up in next week’s big matchup with bragging rights for an entire city on the line. For Wilmore, he’s potentially writing his Cinderella story right before our very own eyes. Sure he’s 4-5 but he’s won three out of his last four and could there be a small run to end the season? He had enough this week thanks to Deshaun, AJ Brown, and Jacobs. He’ll need to string along some wins to keep the magic going if he wants to make another run at the title.

Kalabar’s Revenge v. Debbie Rowe

106 points are nothing to scoff at. Outside of a few teams, Jake would’ve been in the fight in most matchups this week. Unfortunately, he ran into a buzzsaw that is Jon West. We’ve always worried about G in October but November the new October? 2020 is a weird year and for G it may just be extra spooky. Jake had a good showing from Allen (36), Gallman (14.2), and JuJu (USC Trojans Fight On - 18.3). Obviously, that wasn’t enough to topple G but what more could you do? For G, there was a lot more he could and did do. The NFC North (some say the NFL’s toughest division) powered him this week and it all started on TNF. Rodgers and Adams combined for over 50 points and Jake thought he had a chance if McKinnon was held without a score. Well, that didn’t happen and, it turns out, McKinnon didn’t even matter. The story for G has been Dalvin. A man on a mission and going nuts. Yards and tuddies have been his only focus the last two weeks and he’s delivered. Nothing else Jake could have done despite dealing with injuries and byes. Jake will bounce back but can G keep up this pace?

Mixon It Up v. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

Who won the trade? Well, last week it might have been Robbie but this head to head may say otherwise. Despite getting 8.44 from his QB this week (PVO, Stafford couldn’t practice with the ones all week and has been cleared from concussion protocol) he was able to pull out the win. Gabe was tipsy after the 1pm halftime so thankfully he didn’t need to do much coaching with Tyreek’s 28.6 and 16.3 from Diggs. Robbie had a chance on SNF but Gronk left him wanting more after a sad performance. He was saved with a few 10+ point scorers and a 25+ performance from Sloppy. Robbie gets Mixon back next week so watch out world.

Week 10 Matchups

Viking Quest v. Kalabar’s Revenge Virgin Red Roosters v. The Perfect Ten Wilmore Cinderella v. Team Timshel Debbie Rowe v. Mixon It Up Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium v. 11-4-1 PVO Hank Mardukas v. Tua Days *Battle for Miami*

Kurse

“Timshel. He’s getting dangerous” - G the Medium

Commish’s Chat

Best of luck this week, gents. 

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda

[unfair-sports]

The OSG Fantasy Report

Special shoutout to our OSG for these fantasy tips:

Pittsburgh -5.5 at Cleveland (46.5) I’m always a fan of stacking Big Ben and Antonio Brown. But do not confuse Cleveland’s record last season with having a bad defense. The Steelers have not gone into Cleveland and hung big numbers on their division rival. So the price you have to pay for the combo doesn’t come at a low price. However they are so good that they can break any matchup any week. ✅. So Antonio Brown is an excellent play and I can’t talk you off of him✅. They have years of a working relationship and will have very little kinks to work out. If Antonio is priced too high, pivot to JuJu Smith-Schuster. ✅James Connor✅ in the backfield can be some value with Bell missing week 1. Again, Cleveland was one of the best run defenses last season although they struggled with pass catching backs. So if he is a plug and play in Bell’s role with the price and machine that Pittsburgh is, he could present some value. There are other value backs gaining traction so he could go over looked as I usually do not enjoy playing offenses in division games. They know each other well.  Cleveland is a mystery to me for week 1. Yes Josh Gordon can go wild. Yes Jarvis Landry can get 8-10 targets. I just think they are a little risky which sets up for great tournament plays of course. ✅With a new QB in place I always approach these week 1s with caution. Though I love David Njoku ✅at tight end. Mainly because of their new QB whom loved to throw to Charles Clay in Buffalo. Tyrod Taylor ✅checks in as an excellent play in all formats. His ability to throw with better weapons than he’s ever had mixed with his run ablilty has had him consistently hitting value for his price. Although I hate division games this isn’t the Steel Curtain he’s facing. Add him to your player pool.  Cincinnati at Indy -3 (46.5) If there is one team I’ve stacked too much it’s the Cincinnati Bengals. How long can Andy Dalton play with a guy like AJ Green and be mediocre? I guess I should say I play Green too much. It’s not him that has failed me. It’s Dalton’s inability to get him the ball downfield.  With that said any combo of AJ Green with Dalton or second year WR John Ross should be ok against one of the worst secondaries from a year ago inside of a dome. However I prefer AJ Green without the Dalton stack ✅. If Joe Mixon✅ is going to be a bell cow he too can be depended on to be in a position to run for 80-100 yards and see the end zone. If you a PPR site player Gio Bernard can add some value and a potential pass catching TD for a running back.  If Andrew Luck is healthy and gets blocked for, TY Hilton ✅could enjoy success Sunday. 8-10 targets. A potential 100 yard game, and maybe 2TDs inside of his home dome where he is so much more effective. While I believe Marlon Mack is the guy, you could see a committee out of the backfield. This is a stay away from me.  —both tight ends here can be of value. Tyler Eifert while he is still healthy. And Jack Doyle. ✅He played almost all of Lucks snaps in the preseason. And can be forgotten about.  SF at Minn-6 (46) Finally some Jimmy G in my life again. However he comes out of the gate as a road dog against one of the better pass defenses from last season. Again, however this game is in a dome and once Jimmy G took over last season, the 49ers were at the top each week in plays per game. They moved at face pace and the game could shoot out. Jimmy G to Goodwin ✅can be a boom or bust stack but I’m thinking boom this week. Throw in Garçon ✅whom looked good last year with below average quarterbacks. Pairing him with George Kittle ✅for red zone TDS could pay off as well. I’m not a fan of Carlos Hyde and Matt Breida. But this is a well coached team with an excellent old school player and analyst turn GM. They will run the ball inside the 5. If you guess right between the two then kudos. But I am fading that situation.  Minnesota will probably gain more ownership being 6 point favorites at home. And rightfully so. The faster SF plays the more chances Minnesota gets. My only hesitation is Kirk Cousins still needing to work on timing with Diggs and Thielen. Cousins enjoys pushing the ball up field. And this is usually only a week 1-2 issue for me. New QBs in a new system with new weapons. It just takes time. If you’re not worried about that then a full stack across multiple lineups are recommended.✅ Cousins-Diggs. Cousins-Diggs. Kyle Rudolph on his own to fill in TE. Even Dalvin Cook who was off to a great start before tearing his ACL last season.  But Latavius Murray may split carries with him.  Maybe even goal line work to ease Cook back. Splits are hard to roster. You’re guessing 50/50 Houston at New England -7 (51) Finally a 50 over/under. Deshaun Watson was lights out and I expect that to continue week 1. Can he be that efficient? Probably not. But I’m going to take a chance. ✅Deandre Hopkins can have a college QB and he still gets 10-12 targets or more and I will have Watson-Hopkins stacks ✅. Will fuller is a boom or bust play. But the biggest surprise is how much Lamar Miller was so much more effective with Watson in. He should see goal line work IF and that’s a big if Houston moves the ball upfield. New England’s pass defense grades out much better than their run D.  New England is the for the first time in a long time bringing off season drama into week 1. That could fire up Tom Brady in a fast pace 50 over game. He’s priced high but “guaranteed” to have success. I just always see this with New England. They come out slow in September. ✅Everybody downs them and then they pick it up as the season progresses and eases into the top of a weak AFC East. Buffalo. The jets. Miami. Easy street. I would normally love Rex Burkhead as New England runs the ball inside the 5 and is an excellent value play. ✅ Chris Hogan is WR1 and is dirt cheap. He could see 10-12 targets.✅ Gronk is priced high and is like a WR. He went 8/89, 1TD here last season so by all means play Gronk✅. I’m not into the fringe play of Sony Michel this week as he is banged up. But it is Billichek. Anybody can catch or run a TD. Anytime.  Tennessee -1 at Miami (45.5) Maybe I’m wrong but I’m fading Tennessee as I frequently did last season. I will say this however. They have a new coach. New pass catching back with Dion Lewis and with no Demarco Murray, Derrick Henry steps in as a RB1. But I’m not sure how they split these two backs. Until Mariotta shows me something in week 1 I’m off of this offense until I can figure them out. We should note that Mariotta is efficient once in the red zone and can get it done on the ground and get in the end zone. That’s why I would rather have him alone as oppose to a stack. But give my Tyrod Taylor over him all day.  Miami is almost as unappealing. There’s always a butt. There was some weeks that But-Cutler was relevant to fantasy. And if you can work with cutler you can work with Ryan Tannehill. Landry is gone and Parker may miss week 1 which would firmly place a cheap Danny Amendola✅ high on the list in cash games and tournaments. He’s determined to make a statement after leaving New England. And could be placed in a large role and Tennessee’s pass defense is not the best although not the worst. For the price and volume you can take a chance if you believe Miami can move the ball and score 2-3 touchdowns. And if you believe that you can say the same argument for Kenyan Drake ✅who is being touted in the Pre season and was very usable in fantasy last season. I will have shares of Drake. But I don’t see a reason to chance it with Tannehill.  Tampa Bay at New Orleans -9.5 (49.5) It would be hard for me to roster Evans and Godwin even with Famous Jameis. Now he’s suspended for the first four games. And we add a true back up. They will be playing from behind and could lead to some garbage time touchdowns.  New Orleans is the spot to target starting with Drew Brees. He could spread the ball around and you have to place Michael Thomas and Ted Ginn, Jr. for the Big play capability. “They” say Alvin Kamara is due for negative regression when it comes to effiency. But sometimes “they” are wrong. If they get a lead, Mike Gillislee (while Mark Ingram is suspended) could take some carries. But the reason for the lead is going to be Brees-Kamara-Thomas-Gin✅ somehow. They are on a positive side of a 49 over under in the dome at home where they have been explosive.  Jax -3 at NYG (44) This game has a low total. The cheap WR for Jacksonville may be chalk. I would rather take the guaranteed load of Leonard Fournette as oppose to the pass game. I’ve lived and died on Blake Bortles more than I would like to admit.  This game is one of the lower totals. But I could see myself taking a shot on Dede Westbrook over Keenan Cole.  While the Giants prospect may be better this year. I will not jump on that train vs The Jax defense. While I like the Barkley addition and Evan Engram to get better this is not an ideal offense to target. From a game theory perspective however, Jalen Ramsey may shadow Odell Beckham which could funnel targets to the tight as happened last season. My exposure will not go past Engram and Barkley.  Buffalo at Baltimore -7 (41) If you can name the starting QB in Buffalo here then you can play him.  The total is very low here. Long term we may have interest in Crabteee and John Brown in the future but maybe not here. But we do love Alex Collins✅. He is at a great price point to garner 100 yards and a touchdown or two. He’s a touchdown favorite at home vs. a bad team.  KC at LA Chargers -3.5 (47.5) I’m very excited about the Chiefs this year. Hunt and Hill should be targets for big plays all season. Hill is risky this week vs a very very good Chargers secondary. He does feel that Mahomes can hit him in strides and this makes for the big play. One 80 yard TD strike along with 2-4 catches for 20 a more yards is decent. But if that’s what you’re banking on then maybe not. We want efficiency in fantasy and this is a defense you do not want to target. Hunt could also see plenty of work and is my preferred target here this week.  The Chargers on the other hand we can target. KC projects to be one of the worst defenses this season and will be a target spot all year. ✅Play Melvin Gordon here while he is healthy for sure. He will get pass work. Goal line work and in between the 20 work. 20-25 touches. 1-2 touchdown upside is what we search for and this could be a prime spot for it. I’m less excited about Phillip Rivers as I never get him right. Kills me in excellent matchups, thrives when I fade him in tough spots. Regardless he to Keenan Cole is an excellent stack.  -speaking of stacking. ✅ Sometimes you want to run a stack back with an opposing team. If you think the chargers have a lead maybe it forces mahomes to throw more. So you either target him and hill or hunt for garbage TDS or the Chargers defense for Turnovers if he throws too much.  Im siding with the Chargers defense. ✅ Seattle at Denver -2.5 (42) Seattle is still not a team I like to target. I used to do the Wilson Baldwin connection. But until they show me something I’m off of this team. Especially as road dogs in the altitude vs a good defense.  I may enjoy Denver’s long term success but with a very low over of 42 this isn’t ideal. If you’re forced into it on an afternoon slate Emanuel Sanders was a target monster with well below average QB play. So with an upgrade in QB with Case Keenum, whom also loves to target the slot, you can make a case for their stack. I would avoid the split RB situation until we see definite results.  Washington at Arizona (even) (44) Don’t you just love games with no favorite. That’s Vegas saying “I give up” Washington got check down Charlie I mean Alex Smith in the off-season. I’m interested in seeing how this offense shakes out. I targeted Washington a lot the past two years. I successfully placed in tournaments with Kirk Cousins and Jordan Reed. With smith there who loves to check down, this week could be a Jordan Reed week ✅. If he’s fully healthy, and can find a connection with Smith, he has 80 yard 1-2 TD upside similar to Gronk but with a lighter price. I’m also interested to see if Adrian Peterson can cut thru holes behind a decent offensive line. But he will split with Chris Thompson and Fat Rob Kelley.  I’m not interested in AZ much more. Always a butt. Larry Fitzgerald will have a plus matchup in the slot with Sam Bradford back in our lives. If you want to target older players you do it early in the season while everybody is healthy and fresh. David Johnson however is young and back and is an excellent play in all formats✅. He runs. He catches. He scores! Dallas at Carolina Dallas used to be a favorite target of mine with Dak and Zeek. This is because we know where the offense is coming from. I would not target any pass catchers here. Dak is playable but this will be a slow paced game. Dallas plays slow and run the ball. Carolina plays slow. Probably so Cam won’t have to throw so much 🤔. However Ezekiel Elliott is playable in all formats ✅week in and week out until further notice. Rumors say he is expected to get more pass game work. Which is now more than ever needed without Dez or Whitten.  Carolina will be appealing for two things this week. Legs. The legs of Cam should provide fantasy upside ✅and is a great tournament play this week. Christian McCaffrey is expected to be more of a runner this year and not just a pass catching player. The likely chance that McCaffrey catches a TD pass and runs one could make the Cam-McCaffrey stack viable✅. Funchess or Olsen is more likely to catch a TD from Cam than Allen Hurns. But Cam is the kind of WB you don’t have to stack.

[xlewandowski]

NFL Mock Draft — 2019

conflicted, adjective having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings.

Let me start off this mock draft with saying that I’m conflicted. I’m conflicted at what Arizona will be doing with their pick. I’m conflicted because I don’t know if Kliff Kingsbury is a genius or in over his head; does he truly have an infatuation with Kyler Murray or is this the ultimate smokescreen. This is one of the toughest drafts to read because the two players that I’m conflicted with Arizona choosing, Kyler Murray, Nick Bosa, could not be more opposite, obviously Matt, they play a completely different position. The entire first half of the draft is going to be determined between whichever one of these players gets his name called first.

Another thing I’m conflicted on, is Tumblr still a thing?… So, without any further ado, my annual 1st round mock draft beings now!

Please note, I do not try and predict trades as they are impossible to determine, which makes this entire exercise useless, but we have fun!..

Arizona Cardinals — Kyler Murray, Quarterback I’m doing it! I’m committing to it! Look, this move may be questionable or it may be perfect, all depends on which side of the coin you look at. Kingsbury doesn’t owe Josh Rosen anything; he wants his first pick to be his guy and what better guy then Murray whom he called out way back in October that he would draft him number 1 overall if he had the chance. Plus, Josh Rosen always felt like he had this entitlement that he was better than everyone, and not in the fun Jay Cutler way. Bold prediction: after the draft Arizona fires GM Steve Keim.

San Francisco 49ers — Joey Bosa, Defensive End Bosa has been said to be the best overall player in this years draft for awhile now and with Arizona passing on him he will have two times a year to prove them that they got it wrong for passing over him. San Francisco’s defensive line has become one of the best this off-season.

New York Jets — Josh Allen, Defensive Line The pick of Allen just makes too much sense especially with the new Gregg Williams defense that’s being installed. Allen can flip between putting his hand in the dirt and rushing the passer to dropping back and being a giant linebacker. See how Houston utilizes Jadeveon Clowney, that’s how New York will try and utilized Allen.

Oakland Raiders — Ed Oliver, Defensive Line A few of you may be shocked that it’s not Quinnen Williams, but over the past few drafts Alabama defensive lineman have slipped a little in the draft for unknown reasons. However I made this pick as recently Oliver's workouts have flashed potential to be in the Aaron Donald mold, and even though it’s potential I feel that Gruden and especially new GM Mike Mayock can’t pass that up and deliver the first surprise of the draft.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Devin White, Linebacker The new era linebacker started with Roquon Smith last year in Chicago, this year Tampa continues the trend in drafting athletically gifted linebackers early. White is the pick that not only works for need at position (Kwon Alexander leaving in free agency) but as well with a need in the division; with so many weapons in the NFC South, Tampa needs a player that can defend on all levels. 

New York Giants — Quinnen Williams, Defensive Tackle New York desperately needs help along the defensive line and at quarterback, but the latter Dave Gettlemen (stubbornly) refuses to admit. Williams is the pick here as he is one of the few players that you can justify putting an on hold prior to getting your franchise quarterback. He will also anchor down a defensive line that has grown scarce on talent and production.

Jacksonville Jaguars — Jawaan Taylor, Offensive Tackle So you spend 88M on a quarterback, what do you do next? You either get him weapons or protection, I’m (surprisingly) going with protection as I believe there will still be talent at wideout in the second round. Taylor is an aggressive mauler and gets the Jags doing what they do best, running the football.

Detroit Lions — Rashan Gary, Defensive End With Detroit slowly but surely building up their defence why not add a physical specimen like Gary to a what is becoming a deep defensive line. Gary can initially be used in pass rush situations while he learns to play the run more stoutly, and who better to learn from then a do-it-all player like the recently signed Trey Flowers.

Buffalo Bills — Andre Dillard, Offensive Tackle Similar to Jacksonville, Buffalo opts to protect it’s young quarterback and roll with their newly signed and returning weapons. Dillard isn’t the sexiest of picks but with the investment of Josh Allen and the focus on building for the future this pick makes too much sense. Buffalo has quickly solved it’s issues from two years ago when the bulk of their offensive line abruptly retired.

Denver Broncos — Montez Sweat, Defensive End Instead of John Elway chasing another tall quarterback he goes in a different direction, that direction is that of new head coach Vic Fangio. Denver continues to rebuild (reload?) it’s defence that now can deliver a pass rush from all across the front seven. Sweat is a huge athlete that can immediately learn from the best in Von Miller and last years first round pick, Bradley Chubb in how to adapt to attacking the offence.

Cincinnati Bengals — Dwayne Haskins, Quarterback I mean, do you believe in Andy Dalton? Have you ever believed in Andy Dalton? Does Zac Taylor believe in Andy Dalton? Look, Cincinnati doesn’t have a lot going for them, they barely made any moves in the off-season and they’ve become the worst team in Ohio, Haskins breathes new life into a Bengals offence that has grown stale and with him at the helm, I don’t want to say it will help them win, but it will make them more entertaining. Do it for Joe Mixon’s fantasy value at least.

Green Bay Packers — D.K. Metcalf, Wideout Ok, let me start this off by saying I believe Metcalf’s stock rose an insane amount after his combine. I also believe that from a stature standpoint he is what NFL teams want their wideouts to be built like HOWEVER he is not nearly as polished a route runner and still has a lot of learning, but this is a new Green Bay, this is a team that needs to make and continue to make Aaron Rodgers happy. Metcalf is the perfect compliment to Devante Adams + he won’t be thrown into the fire to be the teams number one wideout. Reward can definitely trump risk with this pick.

Miami Dolphins — Jonah Williams, Offensive Tackle With the pick of Williams this solidifies what Miami has planned for the 2019 season, and that is development, it’s a nicer, more political way of saying tanking. Brian Flores wants to build his team from the lines out; creating a well oiled unit along the offensive line will pay dividends for when Miami does draft their franchise quarterback.

Atlanta Falcons — Brian Burns, Defensive End Atlanta has been searching for a consistent pass rusher for what seems like forever; they had a taste of it when Vic Beasley decided to live up to his top 10 drafting, but that turned out to be a fluke. Enter Brian Burns, a former basketball player that has thrust himself into the first round with his outstanding athleticism. He still needs some seasoning but a player that can not only rush the passer but also cover isn’t easy to find.

Washington Redskins — TJ Hockenson, Tight End Washington is hoping for the best with Case Keenum and also the (eventual) return of Alex Smith, they are also trying to restock in the weapons department which haven’t existed since DeSean Jackson. Hockenson may be a bit of a surprise considering the presence of Jordan Reed and Vernon Davis, however the former is a shell of his former self and the latter is shockingly still playing, Hockenson provides the start of a youth movement in D.C. and what better player to select then one of the best tight ends to come out in years.

Carolina Panters — Greg Litte, Offensive Tackle Priority #1 protect Cam Newton. Priority #2 protect Cam Newton. Priority…well you get the point. Carolina needs to protect their former MVP quarterback, I mean, he could also not run as much and slide, but we all know that’s not going to happen. Carolina needs to erase that mistake of thinking Matt Khalil was a competent left tackle and build through the draft. Little can develop into an elite left tackle, his most notable knock is his run game could use some improvement, but with Carolina a very run heavy team, Little will pick it up quickly.

New York Giants — Clelin Ferrell, Defensive End New York continues to rebuild their defence from the line out; while also refusing to accept the fact that Eli Manning hasn’t been relevant for awhile now. Ferrell slides into the role that was left from Olivier Vernon. With both Quinnen Williams and Ferrell the Giants have significantly upgraded their line especially in the run game.

Minnesota Vikings — Garrett Bradbury, Offensive Line Minnesota lost a year of production of Kirk Cousins as their line wasn’t anywhere close to be competent let alone elite. Bradburry gives Minnesota the flexibility of centre and both guard positions, as well as gives Mike Zimmer what he wants in an offence, to run the ball down the oppositions throats.

Tennessee Titans — Dexter Lawrence, Defensive Tackle Let’s start with the obvious, Lawrence is one of the biggest prospects we’ve seen in awhile, he is massive standing at 6’5 and almost 350lbs, and the crazy thing is, he’s very quick. Tennessee has rebuilt their front seven over the last few drafts and pairing Lawrence with the very underrated Jurrell Casey will allow last years picks (Evans, Landry) and newly signed Cameron Wake get after the passer.

Pittsburgh Steelers — Devin Bush, Linebacker I just want to get this out of that way, the Ryan Shazier story is one of the best in not just the NFL but sports, what he is doing now is bigger than all of us and he is injecting hope for those who were told they can’t, but, football is still a business and as many strides as he’s taking, he should not ever play the game again; it’s a harsh reality, but a reality Pittsburgh has to accept. Devin Bush is neck and neck with Devin White as being the best linebacker that has those hybrid skills to play in the modern era, the fact that they can get him 15 slots after White is beyond a steal. Pittsburgh gets their sideline-to-sideline field general back with the Bush pick.

Seattle Seahawks — Noah Fant, Tight End Russell Wilson just received the largest (per year) contract in NFL history, and the best way to let the league and especially themselves know that they made the right decision is to surround Wilson with (actual) weapons. When Seattle opted not to resign Jimmy Graham it left a big hole in the middle for production; Wilson can make a lot of guys look good, but having a top notch big bodied receiving weapon is where he thrives. Enter Fant, a kid who has the body of a tight end, but the moves of a wideout; think Evan Engram, but not as prone to concussions. Tight ends don’t typically have monster rookie seasons, but keep your eye on Fant.

Baltimore Ravens — Hakeem Butler, Wideout Let’s be honest, the only type of player that is going to further help develop Lamar Jackson from glorified running back to legitimate quarterback is a receiving option with an absurd catch radius, and seeing as Baltimore drafted their tight ends of the future last year, this year they get a tremendous upgrade in the receiver department in Hakeem Butler, a man who has drawn comparisons to Calvin Johnson FROM Calvin Johnson. Butler still has a long way to go in developing into a true weapon at the wideout position, but so does Jackson in the quarterback position, why not team them up and grow together.

Houston Texans — Dalton Risner, Offensive Tackle Houston opts for Risner over Ford as they view him as the cleaner, more versatile player. Risner has experience playing all across the line which is a plus for Houston as they need help all across the line in hopes that Deshaun Watson doesn’t get David Carr syndrome and sees his line breaking down in his sleep. Risner is best suited to play guard at the pro level, but regardless, Houston (Watson) is happy.

Oakland Raiders — Christian Wilkins, Defensive Tackle Oakland, similar to the Giants, continues to strengthen their line in what is a draft filled with top end defensive talent. Pairing Wilkins with the earlier drafted Ed Oliver will further the notion that trading away Khalil Mack was the right decision. Wilkins, though may not have the ceiling of Oliver he does have a much higher floor; he is one of the safest prospects in this year’s draft.

Philadelphia Eagles — Cody Ford, Offensive Tackle The end of a glorious era is coming to an end for Jason Peters and his hall of fame career. Philadelphia needs to start thinking of life after Peters and drafting Ford allows him to have a smooth transition into the pros while learning from one of the best. It would be in Philadelphia’s best interest to strengthen the line so Carson Wentz can stay healthy for the first time while shaking that injury prone label he current has placed over him.

Indianapolis Colts — Byron Murphy, Cornerback Indianapolis is going with the best player available, and seeing how you can never have enough corners they opt with arguably the number 1 corner in this years draft. Murphy posses a below average size that todays NFL is currently seeking, however think Jason Verrett, before the injuries completely derailed his career. Murphy can cover a wideout all over the field and then has the ball skills to make big plays.

Oakland Raiders — Josh Jacobs, Running Back Rounding out the third pick in the 1st round for Oakland, Josh Jacobs is built for the modern day NFL, he can run, he can catch, and the trait everyone forgets about, he can block; he’s Alvin Kamara without the discount of being a third round pick. Jacobs, though didn’t have a lot of carries in college shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing. Running back is one of the few positions where the jump from the pros isn’t as difficult and with significantly less wear and tear Jacobs should explode out of the gate with the revamped Raiders.

Los Angeles Chargers — Greedy Williams, Cornerback If I say that this is more of luxury pick for the Chargers I don’t have to make a pun of them being greedy (dad joke)… San Diego Los Angeles has two stud corners in Casey Hayward and Desmond King, however both are on the smaller/average size at 5’11; Williams stands in at 6’3. With his size he can not only blanket whoever is up against him but with his speed can also keep up with the smaller/shifter receivers in the league. With Antonio Brown and all the Kansas City weapons, it’s best for the Chargers to continue to stock up at the corner position.  

Kansas City Chiefs — Deandre Baker, Cornerback Kansas City has an amazing high powered offence, and a very very average defence. The main issue is that their offence scores so much and so frequently that their defence is often playing with a lead, which means the opposition needs to throw. Add Baker and a huge upgrade at corner is in play. Baker is a very physical corner and in division that has Antonio Brown, Mike Williams and Keenan Allen, physicality is a must.

Green Bay Packers — Nasir Adderley, Safety Even with the signing of Adrian Amos Green Bay is one more safety away from completely rebuilding their secondary from 2 years ago. Adderley is one of the few safeties that has a first round grade in this year’s class; he has average size but has phenomenal ball skills, pairing him with Amos will certainly allows Green Bay to pick off a ton more passes than they’ve grown accustom to.

Los Angels Rams — Jerry Tillery, Defensive Line Tillery has the prototypical size and versatility that is needed in this era of the NFL for a defensive lineman, think Chris Jones of Kansas City. Last year LA showed that one of their strengths, if not their best strength is along the defensive line. Tillery slides into the vacated spot left by Ndamukong Suh right beside Aaron Donald, which will benefit him adjusting to the pros as he doesn’t need to be relied on as ‘the guy’.

New England Patriots — Marquise ‘Hollywood’ Brown, Wideout I know I know, Marquise Brown isn't the typical wideout New England usually rosters… New England needed to address their receiving situation, with age, retirements and suspensions Tom Brady doesn’t have as much ammo as he’s used too, and he’s already not used to a lot. Brown gives them the deep threat that was solely missed from when they shipped off Brandin Cooks. Also New England was looking to add Antonio Brown, so why not add his cousin and hope that he has the athletic traits and not the social traits.

As you can see I do not have Drew Lock or Daniel Jones being picked in the first round HOWEVER I do believe that Lock and probably (though he shouldn’t) Jones are going to be picked in the first round via trade. There is also a good chance Seattle trades Frank Clark for a late first round pick which would of course throw more wrenches into my mock which is all but certain to be completely botched.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts and how I believe the first round will unfold.

Enjoy the draft on Thursday ladies and gentlemen! I know I would be but my girlfriend bought us tickets to a play, yes a play. Good times…

[leagueofawesomedudes]

LOAD 2019

Week 1 Preview

Important: Pick your official team name by 1:00 pm EST this Sunday 9/8/2019.  There are no team name changes after this date this year or you will be charged a $5.00 fine that goes to the winner for the 2019 season.  Jon, new guy, this is the rule.  For everyone else it’s just serving as a reminder…

Alright slap dicks it’s finally that time of the year again to get back to business.  It’s about time that the summer is over and we can finally direct our focus towards the thing that matters most in life and not things like pets’ birthdays, engagements, career advancements, Fortnite championships etc…

Not gonna sit here and bore you with a bunch of talk today since you get that from me in the GroupMe on a daily basis so we’re just gonna jump right into the previews.  I do however want to say I’m glad we’re back and thank you boys for another year of the LOAD.

LETS ABSOLUTELY GO!

Kickers & Defense (Solden) vs Jared Donovan’s Team (Jared, duh)

We’re kickin’ it off with two dudes who are bigger than every girls’ boyfriend.  Bigger egos or bigger shoulders?  I have to hug the wall when I pass them up in the hallway at the office.  Just when you think it’s a sure thing that Jare will take either a Heisman winner or a Brown with his first pick he changes it up and goes with David Johnson. Thanks for always keeping me guessing bb.  Kinsbury’s pretty boy offense is pretty pass heavy so we’ll see if this works out, or if D Johnson is on the trading block week 2.  On the opposite side of the ball Solden’s two top dawgs aside from me include Russ Wilson and Davantea Adams.  These guys should be production machines all year and should carry Solden’s team until he ruins the rest of his roster by himself.  History repeats itself, it’s more inevitable than Thanos. I’m taking Jared this week with big games out of Allen Robinson in 2012 form and DeShaun Watson.

Jared Donovan’s Team > Kickers & Defense

JuJu Kachoo (Pauly) vs The Injured Reserve (Casey)

Paul, what is Kachoo? A Nintendo character?  Idk about that but all I do know is Paul is coming off of a hot streak winning his first fantasy championship and he’s looking to defend the crown in 2091.  I mean 2019. Paul doesn’t know the difference because he’s disleksick and doesn’t know how to spell anywaze.  And Case, good to have you back again brotha.  Your party at your house this summer was an absolute blast and I can’t wait to do it again!  Both of these guys have studs at the WR positions (hmu for trades please) and should be putting up some big numbers this week.  If JuJu can be a legit #1 Paul should look to have himself a good start to the season.  Paul has Julio, JuJu & Crowder while case has OBJ, Robert Woods and Mike Williams. Odell puts up enough numbers this week to makeup for Williams and we will drown ourselves in Jameson Crowder because of it.  Case does have the edge this week due to his superior RBS (Paul seriously let’s trade). Mixon and Freeman help Case change it up and pull out for him this weekend.

The Injured Reserve > JuJu Kachoo

G-reg 3rd leg (Bennett) vs Under the Influwentz (Doug)

Bennett may be the only person I know who can draft Kamara and still have a trash roster.  AB suspended.  You better hope he gets cut and goes to a new team. And Melvin Gordon won’t be playing?  Someone better stop being stubborn and start attempting to make moves mid season.  Looks like your luck has finally run out brotha. On the other side finally, Doug changes the fantasy team name up and it’s a damn good one.  I like it Douglas Fir.  Don’t have to think to hard to do Bennett’s previews this year because he’s finishing 12th.

Bennett don’t come after me when you read this it’s just fantasy dude.

Under the Influwentz > G-Reg 3rd leg

My Quads Are Danger6 (Jon) vs Butker in the Cooper (Dom)

The newcomer to the league and the family Jon vs the always dangerous Dommy Salami.  Two great fantasy names between these two.  I didn’t even realize Jon had Barkley until this moment when I’m looking at his roster.  I had just figured he was talking about his own legs.  Dom with another clever name that he spent a workweek trying to figure out but did achieve his goal by making everyone laugh at it.  Jon coming in guns hot from the get go and having arguably the strongest draft of any team. Saquan obviously puts up monster numbers but he’s stacked at almost every position.  Especially with 6 under center for him.  No surprise here, Dom drafted well once again.  However his team is going to be heavily reliant on if Amari Cooper and Chris Godwin can establish themselves as consistent fantasy contributers.  Wait what? Oh had to look at his flex at the bottom and see that he has Nuke Hopkins there.  That threw me off.  I’d appreciate an explanation for putting him there, but it does look cool.  As long as the roster is healthy it does appear Jon has the best starting roster in the league and will help Dom move to 0 – 1 and to LA afterwards.

My Quads Are Danger6 > Butker in the Cooper

Tony Time (TJ) vs Rooney Tunes (Shawn)

Shaved head Tony is back which means he’s back as a serious contender in fantasy.  And yes there is a direct correlation between the two.  On the other side there’s Shawn…who has to be eager for a bounce back year after a weak showing in 2018.  As long as he doesn’t lose his keys again I expect Shawn to double down on the effort and try to make a push this year.  Even if that means ignoring his future wife on their honeymoon.  Best matchup on the board has to be their defenses in Seattle v Baltimore so you know Paul will be glued to his screen for this one.  Michael Thomas, Tyreek and Josh Jacobs look to put up massive numbers for Tone, even more massive than Tone’s Fortnite kill count while Shawn starts WRs that are borderline nursing home material with Fitzgerald, Edelman & Jeffery.  The RBs will be the deciding factor in this one while James Conner, Tarik Cohen & Phillip Lindsey will allow Shawn to dictate when Tony Time actually begins with Jacobs, Carson & Sanders going for him.  It’s alright Teej you will still bounce back.  Please don’t announce that you’re giving up after week 1 for the second year in a row.  This league needs your personality.

Rooney Tunes > Tony Time

****** Game of the Mother Fuckin’ Week ******

Mahomies Chubbie (Chad) vs Chrsitian McCuri’s

Yup yup HERE WE GO.  Week 1 of the season and we have two heavyweights going at it from the get go like Stipe vs Cormier.  The undisputed, best overall manager, the smartest, and biggest football guys’ guy since the origination of the League Of Awesome Dudes will take on his opponent, Sam.  Sam however once again drafted well and I wouldn’t expect anything less from the co-commish who listens to fantasy podcasts in his sleep with his apple watch and ear pods.  That pretentious freakin’ fuck.  He’s looking to be rumblin’ stumblin’ on the weekends bumblin’ and hopefully not fumblin’ his way back to the championship in ’19.  CMC going to be putting up monster numbers on a weekly basis. Anything otherwise and I’d be shocked about that gym rat, first guy in last guy out, scrappy, football smart, hardworking coach’s son.  Mike Evans still a premier WR in the league, and I honestly won’t even be pissed if Jarvis puts up a 50 burger because that means the boys in orange and brown are gettin’ a dub.  On the other hand, my roster?  No wideouts? No problem.  Bell, Chubb and Mahomes carry the bulk for yours truly and are going to pile it on.  This should be a shootout however I think Sam takes the week 1 matchup.  See ya again in week 12 when our rosters look 80% different and playoff seeding is on the line.

Christian McCuri’s > Mahomies Chubbie

That’s it for this week. Paul, you’ve got the preview for Week 2.

Go Browns.

Long live the LOAD.

Signing Off,

LOAD El Presidente

[junker-town]

Fantasy football waiver wire: Best running backs available in Week 16

We explore the best waiver options with the fantasy championships on the line this week.

It’s the moment of truth. Week 16 marks Championship Week in fantasy football, with league trophies and bragging rights up for grabs across the nation. Whether you made it this far, or are stuck in a consolation playoff system (or still playing into Week 17 for some reason), it’s important to still monitor the waiver wire.

Week 16 featured a handful of running back injuries that will be crucial to watch. Leonard Fournette sat out with his troublesome ankle once again, and now that the Jacksonville Jaguars clinched a playoff spot, it wouldn’t be surprising if they rested him for the final two weeks of the regular season.

Meanwhile, Rex Burkhead left with a knee injury and was almost immediately ruled out, suggesting that the New England Patriots feared something serious. He did avoid ACL damage, but this is probably the last we’ll see of Burkhead until at least the Divisional round. Fantasy owners will need to make plans.

As far as returns go, Ezekiel Elliott is back from suspension and Joe Mixon could be cleared from concussion protocol this week. Both players will be assets in the championship round.

Let’s check out the best waiver options at running back, owned in less than 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

Mike Davis, Seattle Seahawks (48 percent)

So, that was unfortunate. With the Seahawks getting blown off their own home field, going down 34-0 at halftime, Davis essentially took a seat. He finished his day with eight touches for 39 total yards as the Seahawks went completely belly-up in every phase of the game. Their 42-7 loss to the Los Angeles Rams puts their playoff hopes in doubt, and everyone will need to bounce back against the Dallas Cowboys in Week 16. That includes Davis, who’s been a useful RB2 otherwise since taking the starting job.

Kerwynn Williams, Arizona Cardinals (35 percent)

With Adrian Peterson done for the season, Williams has been doing fine work as the new lead back. He saw another 17 touches against Washington, but was held to just 61 yards as Blaine Gabbert tanked the entire offense. Williams’ workload is generally enough to put him on the flex radar, but he doesn’t catch passes and lost some snaps to Elijhaa Penny after picking up a quad injury. Williams has a good matchup with the New York Giants, but owners will need to watch his injury reports first.

Mike Gillislee, New England Patriots (27 percent)

With Burkhead probably done till the playoffs, the Patriots will likely drag Gillislee out of the dumpster down the stretch. Gillislee started the season as the starter, but quickly fell out of favor and has been a healthy scratch since Week 9. As always, the Patriots’ backfield is impossible to predict, but look for Gillislee to resume his role as the short-yardage back. Dion Lewis and James White are still the top Patriots backs to own.

Aaron Jones, Green Bay Packers (26 percent)

The Packers’ running game is suddenly hard to figure out. Jamaal Williams remains the starter and got the most touches against the Carolina Panthers, but he struggled to just 30 total yards on 10 touches. Meanwhile, Jones turned four touches into 53 total yards, showing off the playmaking skills that made him a waiver wire hero in October. With the Packers falling out of the playoff picture, we don’t really know what this backfield will look like in Week 16 — especially with the Minnesota Vikings’ vicious defense on deck.

[powerranks]

Power Rankings: Week 1 Playoffs Edition

To you esteemed gentlemen who made it this far, I applaud you. We fuckin did it! Time for all the stress, hours of research, agony, and heartbreak to come to fruition. I think we can safely say that the best six teams made it, and I’m glad we locked this up one week in advance. 

I’m gonna do a power rankings of the six playoff teams, then give a little bit of insight into both matchups for the first week of the playoffs.

Bye Week Tier

1. Fournette About It (Jack “holy shit you’re lucky you’re on bye” Cleek) (11-2) 

You probably still would’ve won but WOW you have awful matchups up and down the board this week. I’m not sure what else there is to write about your team at this point. it’s either gonna take injury or ridiculous circumstance to beat you. When Kyle Rudolph is by FAR and away the worst player on your starting lineup, things can’t be going bad. It’ll be interesting to see who you end up playing next week, because it totally flips and you have incredible matchups.

2. Scott’s Balls (Anthony “Marvin Jones can put up 35+ in the title game against me, he still sucks and isn’t fantasy relevant” Mendola) (11-2)

I took a look at your past few weeks, your players have been remarkably consistent at scoring touchdowns. You’ve had three non passing touchdowns every week going back to week 8. My only concern with your team is that you finally get a week in which you don’t get those additional 18+ points. Everyone’s had a no touchdown week, is it regression to the mean time for you?

Aside from that I think you have favorable week 15 matchups and while you’re clearly the second best team, you’re closer to Jack than most people give you credit for. I’d almost rather play Jack because your ceiling is higher because of the touchdowns.

The Legitimate Contenders Tier

3. Perriman4MVP (Alex “you’re literally only alive because of the Scott trade and I’m still SO upset and now the scott trade is directly fucking me in the playoffs” Ahn) (8-5)

I’ve been low on your team for quite some time but it’s been a sustained run of good scores for you and I can’t keep sleeping on you. I still legitimately believe some of the Ravens stuff is ridiculous and unsustainable, but it’s gotten you here and you come into the playoffs off of your highest week all year. You’re in a good spot, you have decent matchups, and now you have Mike Evans, who has been disappointing but presents massive upside against a decent matchup. Good luck this week buddy.

4. Green Evans and Kam (Beshoy “you and alex made me have to refuckin write this because of your trade you stupid assholes” Halim) (7-6) 

Last minute trade!!! A win now move by Beshoy bumps you up to here. As much as it pains me to say that Alfred Morris was the one bullet you got for AARON CHARLES RODGERS and MIKE EVANS, it was a legitimate move since you weren’t starting either anyways. (This is one of those trades we’re going to look back on with zero context and laugh at like we did in Anthony’s the other day btw) I’m terrified of Mike Evans, but there’s no denying that he’s been disappointing. I think this hurts you going forward, but for this particular week it helps you beat Alec. Kamara getting hurt was the worst case scenario, but you can spin it and look at it in the sense that Kamara at least got you three, and Lutz had a bad game. Kamara needs you this week Beshoy, step your game up and fucking do it for him.

5. Mixon It Up (Alec “sneakily, GM of the year” Bernstein) (7-6)

I’ve bumped you down a bit this week because Mixon was just starting to get consistent and I’d feel a lot better about flexing him and not having to start one of the three receivers you’re throwing out there. I’m also bumping you down a little bit because a 97 point floor is cool in the regular season, but it isn’t beating ANYONE’s good day. I still think you might tortoise your way into a ring, but the playoffs are where low scoring teams get exposed. Speaking of low scoring teams...

The I’m Just Happy To Be Here Tier

6. Scott’s Penis (David “tank hard for bernard” Chinchilla) (6-7)

It’s not a reverse jynx I swear, in fact I think I have a decent chance of beating Alex. However my team is trash, scored less than 90 points a week this year and just happened to pick up some timely wins. I’m heading into playoffs on a two game hot streak but it’s been on the back of defensive touchdowns (fluky, can’t depend on them) and Keenan Allen going absolutely buckwild. I think a first round exit is likely, but if I make the second round I’ll be getting SPANKED by the bye week bois. I’m just here for the ride and hope I get hot like 2013 Flacco baby

MATCHUPS

Okay so how this will work: I’ll write up something brief about your QB’s, something briefer about your skill guys, and something even briefer about your defense/kicker with my personal projections for each individual player. At the end, I’ll have a prediction based on my own projections. 

Perriman4MVP Vs. Scott’s Penis

QB Analysis:

David: Alex Smith Vs. Oakland

Let’s face it, Oakland is fucking trash at playing defense, but somehow fantasy QB’s haven’t done a whole hell of a lot of damage against them. I can’t really point my finger as to why, especially since they only have one interception all year and it was off a fluke deflection against Paxton Lynch. Matt Nagy took over play calling duties for the Chiefs last game and they nutted creamy baby juice all over the above average Jets D, so there’s no reason for Smith to not have a good game right? Wrong. Against the Giants (the actual best possible QB matchup) in week 11, Smith put up a total dud. I’m tempering expectations while knowing the upside is there. Projected Points: 18.8

Alex: Jimmy Garoppolo Vs. Houston

Would you look at that, the Niners look like they got a good QB. Garoppolo looked really impressive against an above average Bears D and should only improve and get more comfortable with Kyle Shanahan’s offense. Houston can’t defend the pass at all, but the only thing making me think Jimmy might not have a good game is the fact that his weapons are so limited. I’d love to see what this offense would’ve looked like with Garcon out there, because as cool as Marquis Goodwin might be, he’s the talent equivalent of Taylor Gabriel. Aldrick Robinson and Louis Murphy aren’t likely going to be making huge plays for him out there. I think he has a good game, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the lack of consistent weapons makes it tough for him. Projected Points: 16.3

RB Analysis:

David: McCoy vs. Indy /Hyde @ Hou/ Nard Dog Vs. Chi

McCoy: The Bills just keep finding ways to fuck me. First it was the Benjamin trade, and now it’s starting Nathan Fucking Peterman to turn an amazing Shady matchup into just a decent one against a stacked box. Indy sucks anal beads on defense, so Shady could still break off a few runs but I was HYPED for this before they announced Peterman. Proj: 11.4

Hyde: Houston’s a tougher run defense than I think anyone gives them credit for, and Breida’s role increases by the week, so I really think Hyde has a down week this week. I just can’t sit the guy’s guaranteed 20 touches. Proj: 7.5

Nard Dog: Bernard looked really good after Mixon left last week with a concussion, and with no other healthy RB on the roster, his role should expand greatly this week. Chicago is TOUGH against the run, but his receiving ability should give him a nice floor. Proj: 10.8

Alex: Murray @ CAR / Collins @ PIT

Murray: First real tough run defense since Murray took over a starring role in the Vikings backfield. We’ll see if he can keep it up against Luke Kuechly & crew, but the floor is going to be SO nice with the amount of touches he gets and the goal line work. Proj: 9.5

Collins: Obviously nobody ever wants to see a player get hurt and I know this isn’t something to be happy about, but Shazier being out really makes this matchup a lot better for Collins. This rivalry game is always super ugly, but I think Collins manages to get out of there with a TD. Proj: 10.1

WR Analysis:

David: Gordon Vs. GB / Allen Vs. Was

Gordon: If I win, it will most likely be because Gordon had a good game against Packers defense that High School Me could’ve had 100 yards against. If Kizer doesn’t get my guy the ball, he should face the electric chair. Proj: 14

Allen: I’m forever indebted to this dude for carrying my ass here. I even feel bad for throwing him into trade packages that involved me getting like Stefon Diggs back as the main piece. Ugh. Allen does most of his work in the slot, making me think Josh Norman won’t be on him 100 percent of the time. Hopefully he keeps up even 50% of what he’s been the past few weeks. Proj: 13

Alex: Tyreek @ OAK / M. Thomas @ ATL / M. Evans Vs. Det

Tyreek: Terrified. Honestly terrified. Oakland has nobody who can run with him and Alex Smith just heaves it to him a few times a game. Think he has a second consecutive big game. Proj: 16

Thomas: Honestly looked incredible against Atlanta. Made huge contested catches and really showed what he could’ve been if the Saints didn’t turn into a ground and pound offense. Got 17.7

Evans: The wild card. I’ll be honest, I’d rather have played Morris personally because Darius Slay has murdered #1 wideouts (only Jalen Ramsey, Aqib Talib & Jimmy Smith have been better) but he’s still Mike god damn Evans. Wouldn’t be surprised to at least see him have a decent game, but I think he continues his mediocre streak. Proj: 6.5

TE Analysis:

David: Brate Vs. Det

Don’t feel good about starting him. Incredibly TD dependent, but Detroit is 31st in DVOA against tight ends, Jameis LOVES him in the RZ, and Jameis doesn’t seem to look OJ Howard’s way as much as Fitz did. Proj: 9.1

Alex: Kelce Vs. Oak

#1 Tight end Vs. a team that can’t defend them and a new coordinator who will get him the ball down the field more often. Can’t be more scared. Proj: 13.5

K/Def Analysis

David: Zuerlein Vs. Phi / NE @ MIA

Zuerlein: Truly has been like having a second QB on my team. I might love him more than Keenan Allen. However, his only bad games came against teams with good defenses, and Philly is definitely a good defense. I’d be an idiot to not start the dude, but I could easily see the Rams end up with 21 points and him not kick any non PATs. Proj: 8

Patriots: Patriots always have trouble @ Miami, but how can I pass up the chance to start a defense against Jay Cutler? I’ve started a defense against Miami for three straight weeks now with wild success rates and I feel pretty good about this one too. Proj: 12

Alex: Tucker @ Pit / Ravens @ Pit

Tucker: Heinz is historically a difficult place to kick, but Tucker is a fucking G and should thrive anyways in a game that should be low scoring. Wouldn’t be surprised if he had three attempts over 50 yards. Proj: 12

Ravens: Losing Jimmy Smith the week you play AB isn’t good, but the Steelers won’t have JuJu. Could totally go either way, again usually this game is low scoring but the Steelers have way too much offensive talent for me to think the Ravens have a massive defensive game. Proj: 8

Final Prediction: 

David 104.6 - Alex 109.6

Mixon It Up Vs. Green Evans and Kam

QB Analysis

Beshoy: Philip Rivers Vs. WAS

The mastermind behind a passing game that’s trending ALL the way up, Rivers should stay hot against a middle of the road Redskins D. I think the Chargers have finally realized that Hunter Henry and Keenan Allen should get the majority of the targets and things will work themselves out. The only thing that worries me is that Rivers is a gunslinger and it’s been three weeks without an interception for the guy and that’s unlike him. Washington isn’t the defense to force him into a bad game, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he threw one this week. Despite that, I’d start the guy with total confidence. Proj: 20.3

Alec: Russell Wilson @ JAX

#1 Fantasy QB against the #1 Defense in the league. Should be interesting. Wilson has been out of his mind this year, but it’s gonna be really really hard for him to mask his line’s deficiencies against a defense that’s so fucking stacked. My projection is still going to be absurdly high considering who he’s playing, but I’m sure he’ll pull some Russ shit out of his ass and drop 24 somehow. Proj: 21

RB Analysis

Beshoy: Gordon Vs. WAS / Kamara @ ATL / Morris @ NYG

Gordon: Ekeler is clearly better than this dude, it’s honestly a Ingram/Kamara or Hyde/Breida situation. The only thing keeping Gordon afloat is guaranteed touches, and I like his goal line chances against a middle of the road Redskins D. Proj: 11.5

Kamara: I feel terrible for the dude and you by association. Such a bummer but you have no choice but to go make it up. Got 2.7

Morris: Amazing matchup, gave up a king’s ransom for him, needs to do well. Only concern is that the Cowboys have run so hot and hold, divisional games are always a concern, and the Giants may play with the interim coach boost... Proj 13 

Alec: L. Miller Vs. SF / Burkhead @ MIA

Miller: Ultra consistent, almost boringly consistent and hasn’t slowed down since the Watson injury. He hasn’t been able to super exploit some good matchups so I doubt he goes off here either. Proj: 9.7

Burkhead: It’s unbelievable how the Patriots seem to only let the white dudes get the touchdowns. Lewis does literally all of the work for Burkhead to come in and score. Miami is a good matchup for him, I think he continues to have good games. Proj: 14

WR Analysis

Beshoy: A. Green Vs. Chi / Hopkins Vs. SF

Green: Has been excellent since you got him. Scoring a lot recently and the Bears are a better run D than they are a pass D. Think he has a huge game for you. Proj: 16

Hopkins: Target monster. The Lamar Miller of WR’s because of that target share. Should keep on keeping on his usual 12 even against a decent SF pass defense. Proj: 12.5

Alec: Thielen @ CAR / D. Adams @ CLE / M. Lee Vs. SEA

Thielen: One of, if not THE feel good story of the season at the WR spot. Has fallen off a bit recently because of some tough matchups and I think the downward slide continues for another week. Carolina isn’t a phenomenal pass D, but Keenum has been a better IRL QB than he’s been a fantasy QB recently, and Thielen’s numbers have fallen a bit because of it. Proj: 8.8

Adams: Hundley’s #1. Fell off last week amid a dreadful offensive performance against a bad defense. Hundley seems to trade off horrible games with ones that are passable for his receivers numbers-wise. Should have a bounceback game but I’m not expecting anything crazy, even against Cleveland. Proj: 8.9

M. Lee: My personal random dude who I think is going to do really well this weekend. Seattle has no corners left and Bortles has low key been okay the past three weeks. Would not surprise me at all to see 100 yards and a touchdown. Proj: 13

TE Analysis

Beshoy: Henngod Vs. WAS

He’s two years into his career and I honestly think he’s gonna be one of my favorite players for the next decade. So fun to watch and he clearly already has a really good rapport with Rivers. The second half of this season has seemed to officially be the passing of the torch from Gates and I think he gets his usual 8-9 targets. Proj: 8.5

Alec: Graham @ JAX

Russell loves him in the red zone, and for good reason. The dude is huge and can box anyone out. This week he has a really tough matchup and he does kind of seem to get taken out of games by teams who can match his physicality and I could see that happening. I think his TD streak might end this week but you never know. Proj: 10.5

K/DEF Analysis

Beshoy: Prater @ TB / JAX Vs. SEA

Prater: Last week was a blip in the radar, dude will be fine. Detroit should move the ball relatively easily against Tampa. Proj: 12

Jags D: They won’t be sacking Wilson too many times, and Wilson takes care of the ball. Horrendous matchup but I wouldn’t sit them, they’ve been un fucking believable this year. Proj: 7

Alec: Lutz @ ATL / Min @ CAR

Lutz: Meh game. Saints O clearly affected by not having Kamara. Got 5

Vikes D: Interesting choice. Carolina runs hot and cold more than any team in the league on offense, you’re just hoping you chose the right side of the coin. It’s a talented unit, but it hasn’t translated into a good fantasy year. Proj: 11

Final Prediction:

Beshoy 103.5 - Alec 101.9

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Weekly Recap - Week 4

Gentlemen, 

I just got done playing volleyball. Three game sweep, NBD. I’m tired. I’ve had a long day. It’s almost 9pm EST. I haven’t started on the recap. But you know what? I don’t care. My members deserve a recap and that’s what they’ll get. 

Viking Quest v. Mr. Magorium’s Mixon It Up

This was a very evenly matched game and I’ll admit, I got excited seeing all those tuddies on Gabe’s bench. Little did I know, his namesake (great team name, Gabe!) provided a massive near-40 point performance. Along with a 19-point performance from Aaron Jones, Gabe’s victory was sealed Monday night. Speaking of Monday night, I won’t play the victim. Sure, Cam succumbed to the CoCo but to my benefit I had Stafford to step in and be the professional he is. Also had a good game from Kamara but only had two other players in double figures and that’s not enough. Gabe has continued to persist past the Kurse. Or has he...?

The Perfect Ten v. Team Timshel

In a battle of champions, it was the latter and not the former who took this victory. Despite and 20+ point performance from Mahomes and a near 20 from Davis, E unfortunately didn’t get the job done with his back Kelley only getting 2.8 points. Mike on the other hand had a good showing from Russ, Amari, and Chark. He was still victorious despite getting 0 from one of his RBs. Two teams in the middle of the pack looking to add another title to their belts. 

11-4-1 PVO v. Tua Days 

Vinny came on a couple weeks ago and was still confident in his team? I don’t know about anymore. He put up a decent score with big games from Lamar+Andrews, Parker, and Randall Bullocks but he had zero chance of beating Dyl. Dylan had two 30+ scorers: Brady and Kittle. Add that in to a 24 point performance from Gordon and the rest got him the victory. Could this be a turning point for Dylan? Is it the end for Vinny? 

Fire Jarn v. Kalabar’s Revenge

First and foremost, happy belated to our own Rubbie. Unfortunately, his birthday week ended on Saturday and didn’t carry over into the new week. A decent 93 was aided by Carson, Tyreek, Allen, and Devin but was no match for October’s Own Kalabar. Despite having a weak D, his team was bolstered by Rodgers (29.58), Cook (27.6), McKinnon (19.2), and Evans (21.7). G is fully into Spooky SZN and may not be able to be stopped. 

Debbie Rowe v. Virginia Reel Rockets

I still have two more of these? Yuck. The good news is the Rays just hit a homerun to go up 5-1 over the Yankees. I can do this. Jane has fought off Kurses left and right (is he done?). The good news is he had a cake walk this week. Big games from Allen, Carson, his little Cooper Kupp, and Kreamy gave him the easy win. Al struggled. And I mean struggled. Putting up only 73+ points is never good. He only had three players in double figures and started a player who didn’t even play. Sad. If it wasn’t for Kyler he would’ve had an all time low performance. Back to Jake. A lot of talk saying he can’t close. I wouldn’t know because I always close. But I don’t think he can. He’s a freezer. 

Wilmore Cinderella v. Hank Mardukas 

Finally. Last one. You’ll hear from JP more below but he’s in a rut. It’s on him to know how deep that is. He tried to claw his way out but still lost by almost 20. A bulk of his points were by three players: Deshaun, Murray, and Rodrigo. Scott struck back with a vengeance with massive performances from Dak and Thielen. Does this get him back on the right track? Only time will tell.  

7 Minutes in Heaven with the Commish

This week we welcome JP and his daughter Avery.... HUUUUUUHHHH?!?!?!?!?! Let the record show my internet went out. Were Spirits involved?

Speaking of Kurses....

“50/50 Debbie Rowe and magorium” - G the Medium

Go Dodgers

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda

[austindailyglobe-blog]

Can 9 Seconds Of Video Showing Abuse Of A Dog End Any NFL Hopes For Baylor's Ishmael Zamora?

The video of former Baylor receiver Ishmael Zamora disciplining his Rottweiler is not easy to watch. Shot last June by his roommate on what appears to be a smartphone, Zamora violently swings a leash at the dog, each blow landing with an explosive smack. Then he raises his left leg and shoves the dog with his foot. As he does this, Zamora is yelling. He looks very much like a man out of control.

No one might have known about the video had a former Baylor student, Shelby Ball, not reported it later that summer to animal control authorities in Waco, Texas, as well as to the Baylor police department. “Dogs can’t speak for themselves, I felt something had to be done,” she told Waco television station KXXV. When the station aired the video that it said it obtained exclusively, the outrage was instant.

Images of Zamora were blasted over the Internet. A flood of scorn soon followed. An online petition demanding he be kicked off Baylor’s team drew 188,188 messages of support. Newspaper columnists quoted experts who said many of those who abuse animals are also prone to domestic violence, though Zamora has never been linked to another incident. The first comment on the bottom of a Breitbart.com story about the video said he should be shot, another demanded he should be castrated, still another suggested he “should have his head cut off.”

His social media accounts filled with angry comments: “Racial things,” says Zamora, who is black. Others found his email address and threatened violence so graphic and extreme it made one person who saw them wonder about the mental stability of people who could conjure such acts against another human.

Within days, Zamora’s football career was in tatters. He was charged with a Class C misdemeanor, Baylor suspended him for the first three games of last season, ordered him to undergo counseling and said he couldn’t keep a pet for one year. Later, when he declared for the NFL draft, the league’s scouting combine refused to include him based on a policy of not inviting players who have been convicted of violence, using weapons, domestic abuse or sexual violence.

Nine seconds of a video had come to define him. While it is a hard video to watch, the nine seconds are out of context and lack clarity. They raise questions. Does he actually strike the dog? Is he trying to injure the animal? Was this a regrettable moment of anger that happened to be caught on a phone or a brutal pattern of behavior finally exposed? Social media does not do nuance well and nobody likes to see a man kicking his dog. In today’s society, a viral video serves as opening statement, witness interrogation and jury deliberation all at once.

I had not heard of Zamora until the scouting combine refused to include him. Even then, I only knew of him in passing, a name attached to the more popular case of Oklahoma running back Joe Mixon, who also was not invited to the combine after a misdemeanor assault conviction for punching a woman in the head. I probably wouldn’t have given him another thought had I not spoken to Ken Herock, a former NFL general manager who runs a program preparing players for team interviews at the combine.

Herock, who describes himself as a “dog lover” and has owned the animals all his life, worked with a group that included Zamora before the combine invitations went out. Herock had seen the video in advance and was apprehensive about Zamora. But, as with all his clients, he vowed to be open-minded and met Zamora alone in a room. Instantly he was impressed. The player before him was nothing like the man on the phone screen swatting and kicking at his dog. Instead, he was humble, contrite and ashamed. The more they talked the more Herock liked him.

Asked about the incident, Zamora told Herock he was frustrated that day because his dog had gone to the bathroom on the living room floor before going upstairs and urinating on his roommate’s carpet. He said he was unsure how to discipline his Rottweiler and tried to scare it by smacking the door near the dog’s head.

“I felt bad for the kid,” Herock told me. “He was almost crying. He said: ‘I would never hurt that dog, he’s my baby.’ There was no b.s. with him. Believe me, I’ve been doing this a long time. Know when guy’s are b-sing. There was no b.s. at all with this kid.”

At the end of the session Herock wrote a report for Zamora as he does for all the players who go through his training. Among the words he wrote down were: “Smart.” “Good kid.” “I could trust him.”

“Unfortunately this is the world we live in,” Herock said. “People see one video on the Internet and they make up their mind.”

With Herock’s words in my mind, I arranged to speak with Zamora by phone. It appeared to be the first interview he had done in some time and he seemed nervous. Still, he did not duck questions or blame anyone else. He said he understood why people would watch the video and assume the worst about him. But he insisted it was not an accurate depiction of him. “The people who know me know that I am not the person I was portrayed as,” he said.

Zamora said he had always had dogs as a child in Houston and got the Rottweiler while he was at Baylor. He named the dog Guwop as a play on the mysterious nickname of hip-hop artist Gucci Mane. As he explained to Herock, he was flustered that day, unsure what to do after Guwop had twice gone to the bathroom in the space of a few minutes.

He said he did not strike Guwop directly or attempt to hurt the dog, rather aiming to hit the door beside the dog, hoping the noise would frighten his Rottweiler into not having more accidents.

“There were a lot of marks on the door after that,” he told me. “That’s why it sounded so loud [on the video].”

Zamora said he realizes that people who have seen the video are going to be skeptical of his explanation. He also admitted to kicking at his dog and he said this was wrong just as the idea of trying to discipline his dog by smacking the door with a leash was wrong too. He said he had no choice but to admit his blame and endure the criticism.

He did not say why his roommate was filming him at that moment but remembers telling the roommate he “didn’t think it was a good idea” to do so. He wasn’t aware the video had been seen anywhere else until several weeks later when someone in the Baylor football office called to say campus police wanted to talk to him.

Not long after, the vicious messages filled Zamora’s social media feeds. He did not go into detail about what people posted to his Twitter and Facebook accounts beyond what he said about them being “racial.” He said he tried to stay off the accounts and stopped posting on them.

“Where I come from and the way I was raised, this was just something I had to face,” he told me.

He said he saw the stories that suggested he could potentially commit domestic violence and seemed more upset about those than the comments on the bottom of stories or in his email.

  “I wouldn’t think of hitting a woman,” he said. “I grew up in a home of women, I wouldn’t even think of putting my hands on a woman or a child.”

When Zamora was 8, his father, a Colombian immigrant, went home for his mother’s funeral. A few days later, the elder Zamora tried to return to the United States only to be stopped by authorities who told him there was a problem with his paperwork. His status has been in limbo ever since, leaving Zamora’s mother to raise Ishmael and his siblings alone. He said her strength is part of what has given him the ability to focus on school and football, and ignore the threats and attacks on social media.

Since the incident he has taken dog obedience training where he has learned better ways to react in moments like the one last summer. The instructor showed him how to use treats as rewards for good behavior – something he does now with good results. Because he left Baylor for the draft he was able to get Guwop back and has since added another dog, a Cane Corso.

As part of his punishment Zamora received counseling from an anger expert at Baylor and he described this too as a positive experience though he never felt he had a problem with anger before.

“He showed me that if I felt something was angering me I could take myself out of the situation,” Zamora said.

I asked Zamora who he relied upon the most for support at Baylor. He quickly said the team’s former strength and conditioning coach Kaz Kazadi had been his best sounding board. Kazadi, he said, was the one who told him to admit his mistakes and take responsibility. It was Kazadi, too, who constantly instructed him to keep his focus and not look at what was being said on his social media feeds.

Kazadi raved about Zamora when I called him a few days later, calling the receiver one of the team’s most dependable and likeable players; someone who always showed up on time for training sessions and worked tirelessly to get better.

“He puts the time in and he’s very moldable,” Kazadi said. “He adapts well.”

Kazadi said Zamora should be attractive to NFL teams because he is 6-foot-4 and nimble and can fight through defenders to leap and catch passes. Just as important, Kazadi said, is that Zamora is willing to block – something many receivers hate to do.

“He’s a guy who does the dirty work,” Kazadi said.

When the subject of the video came up, Kazadi sighed. He was clearly angered by the Internet attacks made on Zamora but he spoke in a measured tone, in part because it was the way he had spoken to Zamora when they worked together.

“There’s no excuse for what he did and he didn’t provide one,” Kazadi said. “He had to take ownership of the action and he understood there would be some reaction from some people. The thing I’m really proud of is when these comments got personal he did not become an evil person because of them.

“It was a really bad time for him,” Kazadi continued. “In this day of age, a mistake on video is a mistake that will last forever.”

Zamora, whose pro day was last Wednesday, must know that by now. His nine seconds on the Internet are an uncomfortable nine seconds. No matter what he does going forward they will always exist and he will have to explain them, realizing at the same time that many people will believe those nine seconds were a window into his soul rather than a brief moment of frustration. As author Jon Ronson wrote about the public’s reaction to viral clips in his 2016 book, “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed”:

“For the first time in 180 years – since the stocks and pillory were outlawed – we have the power to determine the severity of some punishments.”

To what level do Ishmael Zamora’s nine seconds of viral video rise? Do his explanations and expressions of contrition matter? He has already been judged on the Internet. Now the NFL teams who watched him run the 40-yard dash in 4.52 seconds and jump 40 inches Wednesday must decide if the video and the reaction to it will push him off their draft boards. He is not a top prospect, considered to be a seventh-round pick or more likely a free agent. He is easy to write off if the outside pressure gets too hot.

“Look he’s also not like Michael Vick, he’s not done anything like that,” one NFL team adviser said in reference to the brutal dog fighting ring operated by the former star quarterback.

Zamora might not be a huge prospect but there have been dozens of undrafted receivers who went on to have big careers. The fact he is 6-4, a quick learner, is willing to block and played in Baylor’s complex offense should interest teams. Someone will probably gamble on his potential realizing that along with Zamora’s ability to leap over defensive backs will come nine seconds that can never be deleted.

“When things happen in life how will you overcome it?” Zamora said when we talked.

He’s about to find out.

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Can 9 Seconds Of Video Showing Abuse Of A Dog End Any NFL Hopes For Baylor’s Ishmael Zamora? was originally published on Austin Daily Globe