#but without being flippant it's all just awful they're terrible horrible people of a terrible horrible imperial power

[elbiotipo]

I was going to make a longer post about it but just imagining how the US election arguments as we approach November will flood every place of the English-speaking internet (where, unfortunately, I hang out during much of my time) and god, it's gonna be so tiresome. We're gonna get flooded with "REGISTER TO VOTE" ads even if you don't live there and people arguing about voting, not voting, voting for this and that, not voting for third parties (apparently a crime in the US, great democracy guys), and so on and so on. And the results in one way or the other will be awful for the wider world. Not looking forward to it.

[thethoughtsofatrueknot]

Too Many Notes

It amazes me that at 48 years old I can still be surprised by other people.

I thought that once I had finished out with middle school and high school that the typical behaviours associated with people of that age would be finished too. I am constantly reminded how sickeningly untrue that is.

I have made the discovery repeatedly that folks aren't concerned with what is right. They are concerned with not being at fault, and winning a situation. The level of narcissism and lack of empathy that accompanies those goals are astronomically large, and usually either unnoticed by the perpetrator, or denied directly by the perpetrator. Once a barrier goes up, or someone else comes to the end of their line because of someone acting in this way, the verbal and emotional lashing begins, and regardless of the harm being done, it continues until that person feels as though they have won the situation, either by alienating the person completely or breaking that person down to the point where the back away from their resolve.

Social media and texting have made these behaviours exponentially easier because no one has to actually think about the effects of what they're saying are having on the person they're saying them to, but also it makes it easier for someone to dismiss those horrible things for some reason. It is really distressing to watch people verbally assault each other, and if you happen to be unlucky enough to somehow get wrangled into it when you have nothing to do with it- it's even worse. Then, even though there's nothing you can do to solve the problems being presented, you're essentially forced to watch and listen as people who you thought you understood say and do things that completely boggle your mind, and you then find that you no longer understand those people. If also, for some reason, someone within the situation tries to throw you under the bus and turn you into an enemy or part of the problem, you find that not only do you not understand them anymore, but you also now do not trust them anymore. It's scary, but also terribly sad.

In my mind I can not fathom saying something so abhorrent to someone I have purported to love, then in a day or so just float out some excuse or haphazard apology for it and expect all to be forgiven. In my mind, if someone is willing to say hateful and cruel things to another person or lie straight to another person, especially if that someone previously claimed to love and appreciate or respect that person- that tells me that the person is willing to hurt, lie and manipulate literally anyone to get themselves out of trouble, no matter the collateral or direct damage. To me, that person can not be trusted with anything, ever.

So what done one do? What happens when people you believed you could trust suddenly make you painfully aware how untrustworthy they are? Even worse, fearing that one day you'll wake up a villain in the story without even knowing it, only because they threw you under the bus to save themselves from self responsibility?

I don't have an answer. I am consumed by thoughts of how to handle it, but without trust in the people, it seems like of a waste of energy.

I am so tired of people being mean to each other. I am so tired of people turning on each other.

I am tired of selfishness, lies, blameshifting, gaslighting.....

It all makes me sick. I want to take away everyone's mobile phones and computers and watch these people try to do these things to someone's face on the regular. They'll most likely do it all anyway, but hopefully they'll take the pain they have inflicted on other people into their nightmares a bit more heavy.

If they can do it and say it, you can feel it and live with it, and they should. With all the hatred and awfulness in the world now, how on earth could people treat those who really love them this way? It is so flippant and irresponsible, and completely dismissive of the blessing of having someone there who truly loves you.

There are no excuses for it, ever.