#but yea. just. i need to rotate them in my mind. and a reread is just the way to do it.

[orcelito]

Oh I think I might be due for another discacc reread soon. Last one was done last September, so it's been 4 months. Less that I need to refresh my memory on things and more that I need to bask in the whole of it to rly get a feel for the characters again. Writing past goro so much rly made me lose touch with current goro I think lol

[lycankeyy]

Ooooo just to add a thought to your recent gold post, I don’t think Gold’s intense insecurity comes from something in his past, as you mentioned he had a pretty happy childhood and I personally don’t think his mom was neglectful, I think his insecurity started in gsc, with him thinking that he needs to be “special” to fit in with the other dexholders and he thinks he’s weak because he puts them up on an impossibly high pedestal and assumes that because he can’t reach it then he’s not worthy of being associated with them. If that makes sense. Also as a red enthusiast I would love to hear your red thoughts 👀

OUGH YEAH YEAH YEA THAT MAKES SENSE *ROTATES* ig I was inclined to look for where it may have came from in his past bc like I said Silver and Crys both had weird childhoods (technically Gold's was also weird but in a positive way LMAO) and its fun to find things all the characters in a set have in common but honestly that makes more sense and helps the story flow better so true

ALSO about Red. I struggle so much with wording my thoughts on Red he is more of a "putting him in the brain microwave and rotating him" type character than one I tend to have incredibly deep thoughts about for a variety of reasons . One mostly being that despite how often I reread frlg which is like . The Deep Thoughts About Red arc I rarely am able to remember significant chunks of it dissociative disorder moment ANYWAY

One thing thats funny to me about Red is how much of his past is like . Left up to interpretation. It took us a really long time to get more characters with completely unexplained absent families and Red's parents are . SO absent that in the Yellow arc it's revealed he doesn't even have a family name. When people contact him they just address it to "Red". While we know people ""mature faster"" it really doesn't seem commonplace for an 11-14 year old to live in a house Alone even if they're entirely self-sufficient. It's even more wack because the fact that he doesn't have a family is like Addressed but never explained . It's just a fact about him. He doesn't have a biological family.

I think its interesting bc it gives people a lot of room to mess with his character. I've seen a whole spectrum of how people portray Red's Situation and none of them seem particularly unbelievable because we literally Don't Know what happened there. And obviously it makes found family vibes more intense LMAO between Red's complete lack of a family, Green's half-absent-without-explanation one, and . Blue . LMFAO it's really no wonder these guys all end up basically adopting at least One of their juniors at some point. It's funny

Also side note unrelated I really appreciate how I've been seeing more people putting the effort into portraying him as disabled in fanworks recently 😭 as a kid w chronic pain I was always a little annoyed that the gsc arc went the route of the Magical Disability Cure even in spite of subverting the "disabled people can do anything they put their minds to!!!" trope. Seeing people share my headcanon that he still deals with chronic pain even if the Magic Hot Spring Water™️ helps makes me happy because while I understand why things happened the way they did ough . I want disabled rep (if that wasn't obvious from me cursing Green with my migraines /j)

[pemfrost]

Can you please write a Spideynova with jealous Sam? :)

I’m not sure if this 100% counts, but I tried :D  (I didn’t edit, sorry for any typos. I’ll fix ‘er up before I post to AO3)

 

Sam's head fell against his open biology book and for once he was thankful for how thick the damn thing was. It was almost midnight, and instead of relaxing -or god forbid, sleeping- he was cramming for a final. It was the unglamorous part of being a superhero while also being a high school student. Yea, getting out of a boring lecture to save lives was great and all, but it added up. And it added up quickly. 

"Can we just call it a night?" His voice was muffled by the book, but he knew Peter would understand well enough. 

Originally, they all studied as a team. Or, tried to. Sam was absolutely fine with how things shook out after Ava stormed out on one session. Now, they took turns rotating to study in smaller groups. It was easier for Sam to focus this way, with fewer distractions. And fewer arguments over the appropriate amount of non-school conversations. 

Sam enjoyed studying with everyone; Ava made him actually study, Luke helped give him a new perspective, Danny helped him relax, and Peter gave him a reason to want to succeed. Every time Sam would wonder why he bothered with school, he thought about Peter. Sure, Sam could easily be successful with the Guardians, no stupid Biology final needed. No need to graduate. Just him, his helmet, and a universe at his fingertips. 

And then there was Peter. Loathe as he was to admit it, there was something special about Peter, something Sam had yet to find the words to describe. Perhaps Danny could help him when they studied for their English final. 

“Take the practice test. Pass it, and then we’ll call it a night.” Peter dropped a small pile of papers on Sam’s head. 

Sam groaned and brushed the papers off him without lifting his head. “I'm serious, I’m done.”

“What can I do to convince you? You need to pass this final, unless you wanna retake it…” 

There was a teasing lilt to Peter’s voice that made Sam roll his head to this side to see him. The dark circles under Peter’s eyes betrayed his own exhaustion, but his eyes sparked with mischief, like he was daring Sam to make some ridiculous request. Like taking a video game break. Or make a frozen pizza- he’d spied one in Peter’s freezer earlier. 

Or, a kiss. 

Yes, a kiss would convince him to take the practice test. A kiss. From Peter. A kiss. From Peter.

Peter rolled his eyes when Sam didn’t respond, and Sam was thankful his super power wasn’t reading mind- though, it would make it easier to actually tell Peter. Instead, he was laying on his book, looking to Peter like he was so disinterested he couldn’t even make a joke for the sake of breaking up the monotony of studying. 

“I’m grabbing a drink,” Peter stood from the table without looking back to Sam. 

“Ugh.” Sam pulled himself up and stretched his stiff back. It was utterly helpless. He was putting so much effort towards a future on Earth just because of Peter- and he had no way of knowing if a future on Earth would include Peter. At least, include him in a way that mattered. 

Okay, he could do this. He could tell Peter. Ask Peter. Make all of this work mean something more than the promise of a possibility. And he was certain he wasn’t imagining the looks Peter gave him when he thought no one was looking. 

Sam sighed and scooted over to sit at Peter’s seat. His notes were so much more organized, rivaling Ava’s in their detail. He kept his ears trained towards the kitchen, no way he was going to let Peter catch him using his notes, not after their earlier argument over Sam’s own poor note taking. 

As he was rereading Peter’s meticulous notes on meiosis for the third time, Peter’s phone lit up next to him. Huh. Usually Peter took his phone everywhere, he wasn’t one to leave it lay around where anyone could, you know, glance at an incoming message. 

Sam didn’t mean to look, but he was caught off guard, and his eyes jumped to the screen on reflex. And if they lingered on the screen as more messages came in? Well, no one ever accused him of having tact. 

♡♡♡: Still up?

♡♡♡ :Thinking about you ;)

♡♡♡: Miss you! 

The room tilted as the screen faded back to black. Sam was certain time was frozen, or sped up, or maybe it just didn’t exist at all and was just made up. Made up like the glances he swore Peter was giving him. Made up like stupid bubble of hope he’d let form around him. 

“Sam!” Peter laughed as he entered the room again. “Do you want me to make you a copy? I told you my notes were so much better than yours.”

“Whatever.” Sam grit his teeth and refused to look at Peter as he began shoveling his own notes and book into his bag. What was the point of studying, anyway? He clearly had no chance of being on Peter’s romantic radar. 

“Whoa. What’s the rush?” 

“Nothing. I told you I was done.” Oh, he was so done. So, so, so, done. 

“You’re ridiculous. If you fail the final-”

“Maybe I won’t bother taking it.” Sam was numb, his mind repeating the three messages over and over. Who was it? Who had Peter’s love? What did they have that Sam didn’t? 

“The hell, Sam?” Peter raised his voice slightly, still mindful of Aunt May sleeping upstairs. 

“Look,” Sam said without any emotion, “I can’t keep… doing this.” He gestured vaguely. 

“Look, we don’t have to keep studying tonight. We can do a quick cram tomorrow before-” 

“No, Peter.”

Peter stepped to block Sam’s retreat. “What happened? I thought-”

“Well, don’t think.” He glared up at Peter, but couldn’t put any real heat behind it. Peter didn’t do anything wrong, not really. The only person to blame was himself for falling for a teammate. 

“What is with you all of a sudden?” Peter’s concern was written all over his face, and it was a punch in the gut. Peter was worried about him, as a friend.

Is that all they would be, then? Friends? But then, what sort of friend was dating someone and didn’t tell his friend? They were friends, right? Right?

“Sam?” 

“What are we, Peter?” 

Peter jerked back, “What?”

“Forget it.” Sam could feel heat rising up his neck and he refused to meet Peter’s eyes. 

“No, what do you mean?” 

“I-” Sam bit his tongue, it had betrayed him enough for one night. 

“We’re… friend’s? Teammates at least.”

“Least. Because friends don’t keep secrets.” Sam tried to shoulder his way past Peter, but a strong hand on his shoulder held him back. “Let go.”

“So, what? Because I want you to study, we're not friends now?” 

“No,” Sam ground out. “We’re not friends because you’re dating someone and didn’t think it was worth sharing with me. Like friends do.” 

“I- What?” Peter stammered and the damn hand left his shoulder. Even so, Sam could still feel the warmth lingering where Peter touched. “I’m- I did!” 

Sam stared. Peter stared back. 

“I told you. When we were getting ice cream with MJ and Harry…”

Oh. Sam looked away, his cheeks warm. He remembered the day, a few weeks ago, remembered staring at Peter as he ate his cone, and nodding along without actually hearing- yea, Sam remembered. 

“Sam? S-seriously?” 

“Gah! Forget it, already.” 

For once, Peter listened, letting him leave without any more questions or comments. What was there to say? Anything more and they would officially be in territory Sam was wholly uncomfortable with traversing. Anything more would carry the possibility of doing permanent damage to their friendship. As it stood, their conversation could be swept under the proverbial rug as a late night blip fueled by studying for too many hours without a break. 

When he got back to his room, Sam fell against his closed door and focused on breathing. Peter was dating someone, and that someone was not Sam. Probably never would be. He was not okay with that. 

Despite that, he pulled out his notes and gave them one another read before he passed out on the floor. 

-

Thanks for reading!