#but you keep coming in every day and kalpas starts helping you feel better without knowing it

[kalpasio]

okay here is my brainrot for the day: florist kalpas OR kalpas with a florist reader ‼️‼️ JUST THINK ABOUT IT like he keeps on accidentally burning the flowers and he’s like “whatever they were stupid flowers anyways just grow more” BUT INTERNALLY HES CRYING OVER THEM TOO 😭😭😭😭 I’m going to spend the rest of the day thinking about this I just know it -baby girl kalpas anon

IM GONNA SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY THINKING ABOUT THIS TOOOOOOO OH MY GOSH!!!!!

Kalpas accidentally burning the flowers but he goes home and is p o u t i n g and Elysia is like pushing him out the door to go buy flowers so she can play matchmaker 😭😭

or if HE owns the flower shop and he keeps trying to give you flowers but every time he sees you they mysteriously start wilting and smoking and you keep telling him it's fine but he refuses to charge for the sad flowers and he's just trying so hard to give you the perfect bouquet 🥺

[kalpasio]

Allergies

A Kalpas x Reader one shot, the link goes to the whole book, but the chapter is below the cut!

Oh, you were going to get in so much trouble, and you did feel a bit bad, but it was right there! While out on a mission for Fire Moth, you found a little bakery that was still somewhat intact after the Honkai attack on the city. Civilians had already been evacuated which meant it was just you and the pristine chocolate cake in the shop.

It definitely wasn’t stealing! The shop wouldn’t notice! And if the cake was still here when the owners came back, they wouldn’t be able to sell it, so really, you were saving it from a sad demise in the trash bin. Other agents on the trip home stared at your prize jealously, a few even asked if you would share, which you quickly put a stop to.

Back at base, you immediately headed for your quarters to store the cake before heading to your debriefing to get yelled at for ‘tarnishing Fire Moth’s good name.’ It didn’t matter, you had cake, and you were going to enjoy every bite of it. Except the piece your boyfriend took apparently.

“You didn’t even ask!”

“So? Were you gonna eat the whole thing yourself?”

“Yes!”

“Bull,” Kalpas kept his eyes trained on you while taking another bite as though trying to intimidate you. It wouldn’t work, you both knew that, but he still tried nearly every day.

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed another plate and cut yourself a slice. “Is it any good?”

Kalpas shrugged, “I don’t know. Tastes fine, just a little tingly.” You froze with the cake on your plate and stared at him as he continued to eat lazily.

“What do you mean, ‘tingly’? Like poison tingly?” Kalpas had eaten things that should’ve killed him more times than you could count, and he never seemed to notice. If thisw as bad enough for him to comment on, you’d be dead in a heartbeat. Maybe the cake hadn’t been as well preserved as you thought.

“Like chocolate tingly.” Kalpas shrugged and took another bite, ignoring the concerned look on your face.

“Chocolate’s…not supposed to be tingly.” Now you weren’t sure If you should be worried about the cake or the man in front of you. “Are you allergic to chocolate?”

“No,” he scoffed, which, honestly, you should’ve seen coming.

“Have you ever been tested?”

“No.”

“I think you should get that checked…”

“No.”

“Ok,” you sighed. Arguing rarely got you anywhere. Kalpas could drive you insane and all he’d do is sit there and laugh like he thought your frustration was cute. Other agents he might try to fight, but unless the two of you were in the training grounds, he wouldn’t even consider a physical fight with you. At most, you might get some harsh words, but Kalpas kept himself in check, even without the help of Aponia’s discipline.

Figuring that the cake was probably fine, and your boyfriend was the weird one here, you took a bite. Worst case scenario, it’s poisoned, and you die, but you’ll be making Kalpas suffer too, so truly it was a small price to pay. Luckily, you didn’t die, and you could confidently say the chocolate cake was not tingly. Now all you had to do was convince Kalpas he had an allergy. That should go well.

Presenting physical evidence likely wouldn’t work, but it would make you feel better knowing he truly was allergic, and you weren’t wasting your time on nothing. With that goal in mind, step one was to get Kalpas to take an allergy test, which…that was never going to happen. Obviously, your only option was to stab him.

Emile owed you a favor, and realistically, stabbing Kalpas was something he’d have done today anyway. All you had to do was keep an eye on your patient and watch to see if he got a rash or started itching where he’d been injected. This was definitely against some medical rules, but none of you were doctors so it was fine.

Not even five minutes after the stabbing, Kalpas was scratching his arm, and getting annoyed at the fact that it was itchy. Feeling somewhat bad, and having the results you needed, you stabbed him a second time to help alleviate the allergic reaction. He gave you a look you couldn’t read through his mask, but you had a feeling it was some sort of glare.

“What? Emile’s gonna get you like five more times today, and it’s already healed!” Neither of you moved. “I stopped your itching?” That seemed to satisfy him, Kalpas gave you a low hum, and then left as though nothing had happened.

That night, when you were—forcibly pulled—on top of Kalpas’ chest to sleep, you tried to explain. “So when Emile stabbed you—”

“Which time,” he interrupted in a bored tone, eyes still closed.

“The first time.” He hummed and you continued, “That was actually an allergy test. You’re allergic to chocolate.”

“No.” Kalpas sounded like he was telling a child they couldn’t have candy for the seventh time that day, the annoyance in his voice evident.

“Yes…you are, that’s why you started scratching, and why you stopped after I hit you with the antihistamine.”

Kalpas was silent for a moment, and you knew it was because he didn’t know what you were talking about, but you didn’t get a chance to elaborate.

“Go to sleep,” he grumbled. When you took a breath to speak, he squeezed you in his arms, forcing all the air right back out.  Poking his shoulder in retaliation, you closed your eyes and fell asleep.

“So chocolate is sizzly, huh?” Emile was not helping. “I think that’s just you pal.” Kalpas didn’t seem to care, only shrugging in response to Emile’s comment. Unfortunately, Su overheard and came over to where you three were sitting for the briefing that morning.

“Your allergy must be rather mild to not have shown on your physical,” he psoke, calm as ever. Despite knowing he couldn’t see you, your head was rapidly shaking ‘no,’ trying to get him to shut up. Emile was clearly entertained by your distress because he was barely able to cover up his grin. “If it’s bothering you, however, I could always provide you wit—”

“It didn’t show up because I’m not allergic.” Kalpas didn’t sound angry quite yet, but you knew that was just more dangerous, and if you wanted to get out of this room without a fight breaking out, now was your last chance.

The moment Su opened his mouth again, both you and Emile were prepared to shout over him, but thankfully, Dr. Mei walked in, and Su left to find his seat instead. That didn’t mean the events of the day were behind you. When you first met him, you thought rage was Kalpas’ biggest motivator, but now that you knew him better, you were certain it was spite.

Opening the door to your quarters, there were chocolate puddings and brownies you knew had been stolen from the dining hall. In the fridge was a chocolate mousee, chocolate ice cream in the freezer, and Kalpas sat on the couch eating chocolate mint chip cookies.

“Is your tongue tingly?” you asked while sitting down next to him.

“No.” His answer was confident, and he took another bit to prove his point.

“Right,” you rolled your eyes. “Benadryl is in the cabinet when you’re done being stubborn.” Walking to the kitchen, there was a grunt to signify that you’d been heard before you started looking for something that wasn’t dessert to eat.

Kalpas never did use the medicine—you know because he spent the whole night clearing his throat, trying to cover up a cough. He didn’t eat any more chocolate after that, however. The next morning, you suddenly had several sweets Kalpas had definitely gotten you as a gift, and you were left to eat them all yourself.

these are all horribly ooc, but let me dream