#but you know what maybe in movie canon nile is actually in her early 20's when she dies

[stoppit-keepout]

when nobody is listening

Kissing prompt 8. Laying a gentle kiss to the back of the other’s hand. (I realise most of the prompts are v romantic, but I listened to some Mountain Goats and couldn’t stop myself from writing sad things, oops. Title from Long Neck’s Rosy)

Heads-up: this is about Nile Freeman’s family dealing with death--hers and her father’s.

Tony has a few memories of Dad’s funeral. They have hard edges, and they shine through tears, crystalline.

Auntie Kai singing Amazing Grace, a red flower on her black dress. Mom pressing a kiss to his praying hands. “Come here,” collecting him roughly into her arms with Nile, God, Nile.

He’s not going to remember Nile’s funeral. He’s not going to go.

He tells Mom while she’s making a salad to go with dinner on Thursday. Auntie Kai dropped off lasagna and tried to stay, but Mom wasn’t ready to see her, see anyone yet, so it’s just the two of them.

“What do you mean ‘I can’t go,’ you got plans?” The retort comes fast, before she’s looked at him.

Mom’s always on the move--ADD, Nile calls it, though who knows for sure--and it’s only gotten worse since they got the news. Since Tuesday.

There’s a lot to do, she says when Tony asks if she wants breakfast, and she can see the TV from where I’m ironing, thanks, baby, you just watch your show, and she’s just going to call Father Willem to make sure everything’s set, but she’ll go to bed soon, she promises.

“I can’t,” he says. His grief presses a greedy hand across his throat, strangles the rest of what he’d wanted to say.

Mom knocks over the salad dressing. The plastic thunks when it hits the counter. “Baby,” she says, and she’s there.

Tony pushes his face into her shoulder, and her hands push against the back of his head too, hiding his twisting sobs in her at-home sweater. “I can’t, Mom, she’s gotta come back,” the words lurching out around his crying.

“Shh,” Mom says, and holds him tighter. “I’ve got you.” Her voice trembles so hard that it shakes the bones in Tony’s legs, and they’re folding, Mom slowing his fall, but both going down together.

“Who’s gonna keep me out of trouble now?” Tony doesn’t know if anyone but Mom would be able to understand the words, they’re so clawed-up from tears; he doesn’t know if they really make sense, but it was what they always said. Mom and Nile, keeping their boys out of trouble, but Dad’s dead, and then Nile enlisted, and now, and now--

Mom’s crying just as hard as Tony, now, but he can still hear her say, “She’s still watching out for you, baby, she always will.”

The lasagna doesn’t taste like anything, but at least the lid was on the salad dressing when it fell. Nothing spills.

Tony goes to the funeral and stares so hard at that stupid flag that it shows up, inverted, when he blinks.

-

Tony’s heart churns in pain that whole first month. It’s somehow even worse than when Dad died, because at least then, he and Nile had been a team. Mom took care of them, and they’d make sure she didn’t stay up alone. Nile always made their cousins take Tony, too, when they go out for bike rides, always let him tag along and play his music. Tony made sure that when Nile got mad, she didn’t get mad alone.

Mom’s not mad now. The closest she gets is when Tony gets detention for getting in a fight with some guy trying to get him to join JROTC--she descends upon his principal like an ice storm, and Tony doesn’t get a mark on his permanent record from the incident.

But mostly she’s sad, and Tony’s sad, and it’s new enough that he doesn’t have a clue what to do.

His friends start coming over to hang out. The Sunday after the funeral, they just show up, and from that point on it seems like someone’s always around--he can’t complain about it. They teach Mom to play Breath of the Wild on Jalen’s Switch, and they pull a jagged laugh from him when Mom tries to catch the giant horse.

When Auntie Kai finds out that Mom’s letting Tony’s friends come over and play video games, she practically moves in. “Let me take care of you,” Tony overhears her telling Mom one night, and the echo of Nile hits him so hard that he has to sit down right there in the hall.

Auntie Kai’s able to be around all the time because work is giving her some paid time off--something about a bunch of vacation days she needed to spend, though she also told Mom the days definitely hadn’t been there in December when she’d wanted time for Christmas. Tony’s dimly grateful for whatever glitch had hidden the vacation from her then, though, because it means now she’s here, and she can help.

They spend a lot of time in the kitchen, even though food still doesn’t taste right. Tony sleeps in Nile’s room sometimes and tries to tell himself she’s still there looking over him, like Dad.

It doesn’t get easier that Nile’s gone, but it gets easier for Tony to still be around.

-

He gets into U Chicago. He gets into a few other schools, too, and has a couple rejections he didn’t care to read, but he gets into U Chicago.

“You deserve it, you worked so hard,” Mom says. He picks her up off her feet in a hug, and she laughs, loud.

“Thanks for making me work,” he says. “And thanks for fixing my application essays.”

“Oh, for--” She’s grinning as she slaps at his arm, and he puts her down. “How many times do I have to tell you, I didn’t do that!”

Tony rolls his eyes, but he’s sure he’s still grinning like a fool. “Sure, Mom.”

“You need to give yourself credit, you earned every bit of this.”

Sure, he did, but he knows he’s never totally perfected the right ‘their/there/they’re/whatever,’ no matter how many times Nile had tried to explain it. He also has some proof that Mom went and fixed things even after she gave him her approval for his submission--when he’d checked the system the day after he’d uploaded his application, the PDF didn’t look quite the same as the one he had on his computer.

Mom probably doesn’t want to bring down the moment with reminders of what they’ve lost, so he doesn’t bust her for it just yet.

She’s his mom, though, so she sees the bite in his smile even without him saying anything. “They’re so proud of you,” she says, and gives him another hug. “I just know it.”

-

In a weird twist, one of Nile’s old friends is the TA for Tony’s object-oriented programming class. He hadn’t recognised her name on the syllabus, but when she walks into the tutorial saying, “Okay, students of MPCS 51410-B, please correct your syllabi because you are now in Sandra’s section,” her face and voice shove him abruptly back in time.

He’s eight and he’s threatening to tell on her and Nile for cutting gum out of Nile’s hair, he’s ten and he’s trying to convince Nile to let him watch horror movies with them, he’s twelve and got roped into taking pictures of her and Nile posing in Hallowe’en costumes.

She looks shaken when she sees him, then shakes it off.

He doesn’t know how to bring it up, but he goes to her office hours in the second week of class anyway. Before he goes in, he doesn’t really want to talk about Nile. He doesn’t want to cry, he doesn’t want to have to lie that it’s okay, he doesn’t want to listen while someone talks about Nile the way people talk about Dad. Like she’s gone. Like she’s over.

He goes in anyway.

“Tony,” Sandra says, and she’s not crying yet at least. “I’m so sorry.”

It ends up not being too bad. They talk about Java for a bit, because there’s an assignment coming up next week, and Sandra mentions she just got a grant to work on something about databases that Tony doesn’t totally follow yet (but he will).

He comes back a few more times. It eventually ends up being nice to trade stories back and forth with someone who knew Nile, and Nile’s drive, her sharp wit, her big heart. Tony learns again that Sandra and Nile had met on the first day of kindergarten, and that Nile had screamed when the teacher had tried to partner them up with different people in the second week of school.

“She always said she just knew, with me,” Sandra says like a badge of honour.

“She was like that,” Tony says. It settles, a small betrayal, in his ribs. She’s still like that, he silently, irrationally papers over.

--

“You coming today?” Mom asks. She’s already dressed for church, but she’s sitting half-on the chair in front of the computer, distractedly typing something into a comment box on Facebook. “I’m leaving in a minute, just have to do...” She trails off, her typing picking up tempo.

Tony doesn’t bother responding out loud, just ducks back to his room to change his shirt and goes to wait by the door for Mom to finish up.

“Okay, okay, we’re already late,” she says, grabbing her purse and rifling through it for her keys. “Is your sister already in the car?”

The words pounce on them both. Stillness, then explosive motion as Mom flinches, as she drops her purse and her little tin of breath mints bursts and scatters.

“Mom,” Tony says, and she’s already on her knees, gathering up her things. His knees thud on the floor, following to help.

“I’m sorry, it’s just--”

“I know,” he says, and he repeats it because Mom wasn’t looking the first time. “Mom, I know.”

“I didn’t forget,” Mom says, hands finally still, eyes meeting Tony’s. “I could never.”

“But it’s like she’s still here, right?” Mom blurs and glows in the tears filling Tony’s vision. “You feel it, too.”

That’s what tips Mom over into crying, too.

They’re late for church, but they still go.

Peace be with you, murmuring around them, and Mom holds his face in her hands and makes him bend so she can kiss him on the forehead, like she always does.

Communion, and prayer. Please protect Mom, and bless the whole family, and let me get through finals okay. Tony prays the way he’s been praying for almost a year now: to God, and to Nile.

Mom’s kneeling beside him, her shoulder against his, and he crosses himself when his thoughts have smoothed out. Mom catches his hand in a tight grip as he’s lowering it; they hold on to each other.

[cryptoriascollectiblog]

Monster High doll collecting Questionnaire - answered

Finally had time to take photos for this thing. Hope it’s worth the wait!

1) Introduce yourself and tell us how long you’ve been collecting Monster High dolls! Hey y’all! My name’s Tori and I’ve been collecting Monster High since I think...either the end of 2014 or early 2015. Before S5 of the webisodes aired. 

2) How many MH dolls do you have?

Can I just say “a lot” and leave it at that? I kid I kid. I have like 27 Monster High dolls. That may not seem like a lot but I swear I just had 13 like four dolls ago...fingers crossed I didn’t forget to count anyone. That’s a sign of too many dolls :’D I also have two vinyl MH figures (Frankie and Draculaura) and a Rock Candy Draculaura figure.

3) Is Monster High your favorite doll line? Why or why not? Yes. Yes it is. Forever and ever. Took me a little while to realize it but as I accumulated dolls I realized most of my passion for collecting (as well as creative inspiration) revolved almost entirely around Monster High. That line is perfect for me in every way: tied to/inspired by classic Monsters, bold and edgy gothic fashion, a unique art style...I can’t tell you how much I’ve evolved as a creative individual since embracing my love of Monster High.

4) Who’s your favorite MH ghoul? 

I wish Cupid had stuck around in MH a little longer. I would’ve loved an elaborate dress (and makeup) for her!

5) Favorite Manster? My favorite Manster is actually Andy Beast from Skull Shores. Since he never reappeared in more than background shots and Mattel never produced a doll of him I’ll go with this guy:

6) Do you own any dolls of your favorite ghoul and/or manster? How many? I own one Deuce doll, his Boo York doll. He came with Cleo and I love Boo York Cleo so I had to get both. I actually hate how the writing team handled Deuce and their relationship in the movie: as far as I’m concerned it isn’t canon. (He fell so far from Ghouls Rule! Definitely the best part of that movie including his friendship with Frankie.)

I own many Frankie and Draculaura dolls. Stay tuned for pics~

7) Do you own any playsets? If so which one(s)? If not, is there a reason?

I found this at a thrift store. It didn’t have any accessories though. Still, I’m glad I own it <3 Considering I photograph Draculaura more than any of my other dolls.  I do wish I had another playset--either the catacombs or the Deadlux high school: they’d make such great backdrops for photography! Sadly I have no space.

8) Of the original main ghouls (including Ghoulia, Spectra and Abbey) which is your favorite? Got any dolls of them?

TA~DA! I’d actually also love to add Ghouls Rule Frankie to my collection but she’s not an immediate must-have.

9) Favorite character with only one doll release?

I know there were technically two but they’re essentially the same doll so it doesn’t count.

10) Character with too many dolls (in your opinion?) Uh...Toralei honestly. I don’t like her, I’ve never liked her but she pops up a lot more than I expected. Is this so there’s a matching bully in some of these sets or is she that popular and I’m the odd one out?

11) Any character you would’ve liked to see in a doll line that didn’t make it? (i.e. Lagoona in Sweet Screams or Draculaura in Power Ghouls, etc) Apart from another C.A. Cupid doll in like Dawn of the Dance or Dot Dead Gorgeous (can you imagine??) I would’ve loved to see Draculaura in Freak du Chic. I’m aware she had a Scarnival doll but that’s not the same thing. I want a doll with a similar design to her circus mini. I also think adding Lagoona to the “Scarily Ever After” line would’ve been neat (a la Little Mermaid, of course.) I know we saw her as a Mermaid in Great Scarier Reef” but I would’ve loved to see one with a fairytale twist.

Also more Sweet Screams dolls. Best line ever <3

12) Any ideas you would’ve liked to see in a doll line? An eighties glam-rock n roll band stylized after Jem and the Holograms but with a gothic edge. I’m not talking Fierce Rockers, I mean all of the core ghouls (with Ghoulia as like the manager) along with a better-designed Clawdeen. I didn’t mind what we got but she wasn’t “outrageous” enough for me. 

Also a “vintage-themed” line as an homage to the ghouls’ famous parents (including Operetta.)

13) Is there a “grail” MH doll for you? If so do you own it? I feel like my grail dolls keep changing. For a long time it was Collector Draculaura, then OG draculaura, then Dawn of the Dance Draculaura...then Ghouls Rule Frankie and the whole Sweet Screams crew. I guess I can’t make up my mind ^^; Truthfully I have most of these now so I’m pretty content with my collection. I still want a couple older dolls (CLAWDEEN and maybe OG Lagoona) as I’ve said and I must have all the Sweet Screams dolls. Beyond that I’m good. 

14) Thoughts on the cancelled Ever After High crossover? Okay so I will be forever annoyed Mattel didn’t wait to reboot everything until after the crossover. That said what I saw in the storyboards and posts floating around didn’t really impress me. There’s so much potential here and I feel like Mattel took the easiest route possible with it. If you’re going to crossover these two lines a) go ALL out with the designs and b) INVOLVE C.A. CUPID. Plus we’ll never know now if Astra Nova is the blue fairy/her daughter.

15) Thoughts on the 2016 reboot faces?

Why Mattel. Why was this necessary. 

With Vampirina and now Super Monsters you really should’ve stuck with your older audience. Or saved the “Monster Family” line exclusively for said younger audience and just scaled down the original line to remind your older crowd, collectors included, why we love this line. 

Heck, at this point I’d be happy with detailed collector-only lines released on like Amazon. A limited line is better than no Monster High at all, especially if it’s highly detailed and exceptionally spooky.

16) Thoughts on the 2016 “Monster Family” line?

So I like the idea behind this line but loathe the articulation. I held off buying Alivia and Kelpie for a long time because I hoped for better quality with later releases. Whoops. All of this said there was potential here to attract a younger crowd exclusively with a brighter and less-articulated family line. Siblings or not they could’ve avoided directly crossing over by merely mentioning the OG ghouls, instead focusing on friendships and relationships with their parents. That’s what I’d have done at least.

17) How bout the SDCC exclusives? What was your favorite? Do you own any? No and I wish I did ;-; While I wasn’t as impressed with them as the Ever After High exclusives I would’ve loved a Hexiciah doll. He’s actually my favorite “manster.” (Heck! You could’ve incorporated him into the crossover, being as he’s half fairy!) I should check ebay...

18) How about Amazon exclusives? I have two! The amazing and unique Draculaura who as far as I’m concerned is the best MH doll ever released and Zomby Gaga. The others never impressed me or lived up to the same quality promised in the first exclusive. I just couldn’t pass up a Lady Gaga monster!

19) Favorite Frankie Stein doll?

Aaah this is tough. All the Frankies I own are my favorite ^^; Sweet Screams, Freaky Fusion, her classroom doll I turned into a fearleading one, and while I don’t own her original doll (mine is the 2014 release) I love that one two. I also like Wave 2 Frankie and as I said Ghouls Rule. (Honestly though I thiiiiink Sweet Screams is number one...which is funny because I did not want her when I first started collecting. For whatever reason I thought I’d be happy with one doll of each character. Again I say: whoops)

20) Favorite Draculaura doll?

21) Favorite Clawdeen Wolf doll? Freak du Chic, her OG doll and I think Boo York. I’m so mad her outfit isn’t more stylish. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it to buy her and like one of her fashion packs...but that’s actually more expensive on Amazon than her original doll! 

22) Favorite Cleo de Nile doll?

Originally Dawn of the Dance wasn’t a favorite but now that I own the doll I realize just how much she stands out (why wasn’t purple lipstick used more often???)

23) Favorite Lagoona Blue doll? Skull Shores, her OG doll and I think Dawn of the Dance. I’m not a big fan of the mohawk but I appreciate the detail in her outfit...plus I love blue makeup.

24) Favorite Ghoulia Yelps doll?

 I also like Sweet Screams (although she’s my least favorite of the line) and Dawn of the Dance. Honestly maybe I should’ve set my sights on that whole line XD Except I’m not the biggest fan of the Clawdeen and Frankie.

25) Favorite Spectra Vondergeist doll? I’m not as familiar with Spectra’s dolls but I think either Dot Dead Goregeous or Ghouls Night Out.

26) Favorite Abbey Bombinable doll? Sweet Screams <3

27) Favorite Venus McFlytrapp doll? Zombie Shake

28) Favorite Rochelle Goyle doll? Zombie Shake

29) Favorite Operetta doll? Either or OG doll or Scaritage (the latter kind of reminds me of Lucille Ball for whatever reason)

30) Favorite Toralei Stripe doll? I’m really not a fan of her dolls (Orange is such a hard color to compliment correctly) but I do kind of like the stark design in her Fierce Rockers doll.

31) Favorite Jinafire Long doll? I’m not a big fan of her dolls either (I feel the same way about Green that I do Orange) so I’ll say her “New Scaremester” doll.

32) Favorite Skelita Calaveras doll? Scarnival! I’m still half-tempted to purchase this doll one day...provided I can find her!

33) Favorite Howleen Wolf doll? Her original doll. I wish she hadn’t switched to straight/pink hair! The orange stood out in a good way. Someday I hope I find her in a thrift store...

34) Favorite Twyla Bogeyman doll? Freak du Chic

35) What do you do with your dolls? (Display them, take photos of them, etc) I display them, sometimes change their poses and I take photos! I’m still an amateur at that but I’m learning as I go and I think I’ve improved!

36) Is Monster High the only doll line you collect? Why or why not? Sort of? It’s the only line I primarily collect now. I keep my eye on a couple others in case something catches my eye but like I said I’m low on space.  Some of my other collections include: Ever After High (complete with maybe the exception of TriCastleon Lizzie Hearts one day) Super Heroes (this also includes high quality collectibles. One day I’d like Mystique but she’s only available on ebay and out of my price range right now. Plus I’ve found the production condition of each varies...) Disney Princesses/Frozen (sometimes I tell myself I should get Mulan for varying reasons but I’ve only taken photos of my Elsa doll so what does that tell you) Vampirina + Hotel Transylvania (This includes toys as well. HT seems to have wrapped up for the time being and as I’ve stated numerous times I’m fickle with Vampirina merchandise. Nonetheless both of these are technically ongoing) Equestria Girls (Done unless Hasbro releases a new Adagio Dazzle doll. Also fashion packs or  a dAYDREAM SHIMMER DOLL COME ON--ahem-- I’m still planning to get rid of most of my older dolls.) I tried getting into Disney’s “Attractionistas” but only acquired two before they stopped selling in the parks. To be honest the quality dropped anyway and they’ve only got basic articulation. I’m not sure I’m going to keep the ones I have...we’ll see.

37) Do you still collect Monster High dolls? (i.e. scour the internet and/or secondhand stores?) Technically? I got three for Christmas and still poke my head in thrift stores now and then. For the most part though I’m essentially finished, I only say I keep going because there are a few older dolls I will definitely have someday.

38) There’s a lot of new Monster doll/toy lines out now: thoughts if any? H’okay so here’s the Earth--

jk jk I’m old XD

I make it a point to investigate new Monster lines: monsters are my life, nothing gives me greater creative fuel so it is my duty!

Right now there are technically three others out there although like I said, Hotel Transylvania seems to be out of stores. Don’t know if it’s still available on Amazon. The other two are Vampirina and Super Monsters. I’ve talked about them before--they’re largely for a much younger crowd, even younger than the MH reboot audience but there are some highlights for us older collectors if you love monsters as much as I do. I’m a big fan of world building and the spooky aesthetic: I love seeing how different franchises approach this. Character designs too: it can be a little tricky in the “family friendly monster” genre: a successful one balances spooky with well...friendly. I think Vampirina is most successful in this department. Super Monsters leans more towards the cutesy side.  That said, I actually prefer their world set up over Vampirina. As well as the approach to being a monster which isn’t surprising since Vampirina is essentially one giant whimsical metaphor. 

Super Monsters has only just joined the merchandise department which I know I’ve said before. I look forward to seeing how it evolves. Vampirina too: most of the toys, while cute, are more “toy” than doll and I’m not a big fan of gimmicks so I haven’t bought any of the singing dolls. Fingers crossed we get something a little more...elaborate? Even if it’s just a limited release (I do love the one figure/doll I have though! Best of the merchandise released so far <3)

Going back quickly to Hotel Transylvania...I maintain Jazware’s wasn’t the best choice of manufacturer. So many little things that needed a touch more thought. Although I will give them points for clothing quality and faceup!

39) And finally, what’s your favorite thing about Monster High? Can be past or present!

I think I’ve covered why I love it throughout this questionnaire: Monster High inspires me. It came into the world fresh and with a lot of creative power behind it. It turned so many heads and shook up the doll world as we know it. It brought monsters back into the light and that’s never gone away. If anything it’s blown up even more: that may not have happened without Monster High. Was the writing great? No. But the theme songs, the designs and especially the original lessons taught stood out on their own: Be yourself. Be unique. Be a monster.

Hell yeah, Monster High <3