#but your god is dead and you cant even rebel against him cant even wreak havoc on his doorstep can take no revenge for yourself or those | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

charmspoint · 1 year

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The original thing I'm brewing rn is like: Do you wish your romance novel was written by an aromantic asexual who views love as something to strap on a vivisection table? Do you wish your romance novel included themes of identity formation and crisis, of emerging self-governing and the fear and the thrill of it, o being built wrong through none of your own fault and having to adjust that wrongness into a functioning human identity, of the first experience of ever being loved after a long existence of blind worship, of love as a transformative power, as a corruptive power? Do you wish the guy was the sub?

#lucy blabs #im like ehehhe my lil barbie dolls they are so romantic they flirt they dance~#imagine living as a tool without autonomy for your entire existance #decades and centuries of it #worshiping blindly because you were made to do so #executing your order because you were made to do so #your body surrender your will non existent modified and adjusted to whims of an unfeeling uncaring god that never saw you as anything more #than a tool on his workbench #imagine being created for one purpose only to be modified for something completely different uncaringly sloppily so #leaving you as something you can no longer recognize something that you were never supposed to be #imagine if your god died then there would be no going back no fixing you no changing this cage of a body you are trapped in #you are alone you are on your own you are growing a will growing a personality you are no longer a toy on the shelf #and you know what has been done to you you are realizing it now #the pain that you had brought the pain that has been brought on you all the things you now have to live with and an understanding of what #they mean #but your god is dead and you cant even rebel against him cant even wreak havoc on his doorstep can take no revenge for yourself or those #who had not lived through the madness and the pain to see this other side of the suffering #you are a tool turned human and you are only learning to exist and existence is helplessness and hatred and injustice #and you are a being used to worship but not to love tools are made to be useful not to be loved and you had never felt a kind hand before #and then someone loves you for the first time ever someone loves you and its a toxin its a drug and you would do anything for them #it doesnt matter what they do or who they are it doesnt matter who they kill or harm #they love you and you are a being used to worship and the only way you know how to love is to throw yourself on an altar #and rip your heart out for consumption #<3 and then they kiss <3

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